Work Text:
E il cielo piano piano qua diventa trasparente
Il Sole illumina le debolezze della gente
Una lacrima salata bagna la mia guancia mentre
Lei con la mano mi accarezza in viso dolcemente.
Måneskin — Torna a Casa.
Friday, 21:31.
Akaashi returned home late again.
Although he had completed the most difficult tasks at the office, he didn’t have time to finish all the required assignments of the day and had to take them home with him. Akaashi is aware that this is an all-too-frequent occurrence that he would, of course, like to put an end to.
“Break your bad habits now!” is a catchphrase that Akaashi keeps seeing and hearing everywhere — on any social media, on subway posters, on TV or radio shows, and even in the many books he edits.
It is a recurrent phrase that he is sick of.
However, no one realizes that the absolute worst habit of all is to work overtime, or to put it in short: to work . Even though Akaashi loves his job, luckily, he doesn't hide the fact that he would like to rest and disconnect from it more often. Or as another one of those dumb slogans would say “to embark on a healthy lifestyle”.
Now, standing at the front door of his house, he proceeds to open it to meet another unrealistic deadline. Akaashi takes a deep breath, gathers his strength, and inserts the key into the lock.
Dusting off an acrobatic skill he had forgotten he possessed, Akaashi spins the key, emitting a metallic sound, and opens the door holding a large cup of ice americano in one hand, and in the other a pile of disarranged papers caged in a folder on the verge of collapse — like father, like son, right?
To finish his acrobatics worthy of the Cirque du Soleil, he closes the door with one of his feet, clumsily, resulting in a great bang .
“Sorry,” Akaashi apologizes in a whisper to the nothingness, because he feels guilty for disturbing the silence of the empty room.
However, in fact, the room isn’t empty at all. Apart from the static furniture, the plants swaying to the rhythm of the wind coming through a window, and its inhabitants — mainly tiny climbing spiders, there is a person lying on the sofa that Akaashi ignores for now.
The crash makes Bokuto stir on the couch where a few seconds ago he was drooling on a cushion. Originally, Bokuto didn't intend to fall asleep. He couldn't fight the tiredness, and it just happened.
After a long training session, as soon as he got home he went straight to take a regenerating shower before video-conferencing his family to avoid his sisters' scathing comments about his looks. He hurried to pick up his laptop from the bedroom to leave it on the small table in the living room, forgetting to dry his hair, with the aim of getting everything ready and taking a five-minute nap to clear his mind before chatting with his witty sisters. However, tiredness weighed more and more heavily on his body and the nap didn’t fit the five minutes Bokuto had planned, falling into a deep sleep on the sofa.
He immediately sits upright, wide-eyed and with a bright smile breaking out on his face,
Bokuto is ready to leap from the couch into Akaashi's arms and greet him with a warm "Keiji, welcome home!"
Instead, Bokuto narrows his eyes as he notices something strange in the atmosphere. Suppressing his overflowing urge to jump off the sofa to wrap Akaashi in his arms and bury his face in the crook of his neck, he chooses to wait and watch cautiously from afar.
Bokuto carefully studies his facial expressions. To begin with, how hard he is chewing on his lower lip, making it bleed, only stopping hurting himself to mutter some intelligible curse — something unusual for him. Disdainfully, he takes off his shoes and drops them messily on the genkan, continuing his acrobatic show. Then, he hurriedly goes to the kitchen table, where he places his cup of coffee and, subsequently, his laptop to start typing at a superhuman speed, with which he could set the laptop on fire.
From across the room, Bokuto remains attentive to Akaashi's movements, which go unnoticed by the latter — his stress-filled frown that causes several wrinkles to appear on his forehead and Bokuto to worry twice as much; or his attempt to relax by rubbing his temples vigorously that ends with a sigh of despair. For Bokuto, the evidence is crystal clear: Akaashi is having a particularly stressful day at work. In fact, Akaashi has had a very hectic week, so the fatigue is even more noticeable on Friday.
Bokuto knows he has come to the right conclusion. Over the years, he has been collecting everything that will bother Akaashi, in order to avoid it in the future.
It has certainly been a long learning experience — based mainly on trial and error — sometimes with coffee spilled on the floor and on manuscripts from the publisher, forcing Akaashi to rewrite several pages in the worst-case scenario; sometimes with late-night coffees because Bokuto would ramble on and on about training for hours in the afternoon and Akaashi had to make up that time at night.
Bokuto's little gestures don’t go unnoticed by Akaashi. He does realize that Bokuto tries to be quieter, even apologizing when he accidentally bumps the corner of the table; leaves him his own space so he can work in peace by running off when it isn't his turn or doing the groceries, and sometimes brings him back a piece of his favorite pie from the cafeteria downstairs.
Bokuto doesn't want to disturb or interrupt Akaashi. On the contrary, all he wants is to see Akaashi happy, and content, and sharing part of his happiness makes his heart filled with a warmth he has never felt before — an overwhelming warmth, that he wouldn't let go for anything in the world.
This warmth also floods Akaashi with tenderness, like a wave of affection that is rocked by the gentle wind until it reaches deep into his heart. It is frustrating at times, though, because Akaashi loves Bokuto’s enthusiasm and, of course, would like to hear him rambling about his passions, and watching him constrict his instincts causes him mixed emotions.
“It’s fine Keiji. I do it because I care about you,”
Bokuto told him once, calming his overthinking immediately.
"You also strive to make me feel comfortable around you. That's part of love, isn't it?"
Akaashi could only smile and kiss his lips.
Akaashi also wants to tell him his worries, receive words of support, and snuggle in Bokuto's comforting hugs when he is away at a game in another city, at his training, or busy with meetings or photo shoots.
“Don’t go,”
That time Akaashi surprised himself by mouthing those words to Bokuto who was about to leave with the suitcases in the doorway. That time the temptation was stronger than Akaashi, and his lips obeyed his heart.
How was it possible to feel that his home was abandoning him when he was in it?
Bokuto hesitated in his movements, swinging his weight from one foot to the other until he finally returned to Akaashi's side, took his cheeks, and gave him a soft and tender kiss on his lips.
“I’ll come back soon,”
Akaashi knew he was being extremely selfish, but he couldn't handle the stress of his new job alone. To make the matters worse, his boss was pushing him even harder because he had high expectations of him, and that brought demons into his head.
You’re not enough.
It kept repeating in his head in a loop.
Bokuto stroked his cheek, moving his thumb in small circles.
“You can do it Keiji, I know you can," assured, Bokuto told him with a glint of adoration in his eyes that only appears when he is with Akaashi.
"You're amazing Akaashi, never forget that. And even if you do, I'll be sure to remind you, whenever you need it because I'm going to stick around. If you let me.
The tears that were threatening to flow finally fell from Akaashi's eyes like a torrent.
Bokuto wrapped him in a tight hug before leaving the house.
"I'll call you later to tell you how awesome you are. And in a few days, I'll tell it to you again face to face."
Akaashi nodded in the calming warmth of his chest and the rhythmic melody of his heartbeat.
Instead, now, he is the one who has to work to do at home, despite how much he hates it. He really can't wait for this hectic season to be over so he can make up for lost time with his boyfriend.
In Bokuto's eyes, Akaashi doesn't want to be interrupted, but he wants to show that he has him for whatever he needs. Silently, he approaches Akaashi with the intention of helping him get through this hell of a week, with a look that reflects concern which he tries to conceal with a crooked smile.
"Good evening, Keiji," he greets him in a soft, low tone, and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek that catches Akaashi by surprise, making him jolt.
"You need anything?"
Bokuto asks him while massaging his back neck and pressing a knot in his cervicals to release some tension.
Bokuto's ministrations cause Akaashi to forget his question, and a hum of relief is the only response he manages to articulate. However, Bokuto doesn't stop there, he bends down a bit more to give him a series of flying kisses on the column of his neck, which makes Akaashi feel giddy.
"Oh, hi! I didn't know you were home already," Akaashi replies in a higher pitch than usual, elicited by the fugitive kisses of his boyfriend. Then, Akaashi clears his throat to reassure him in a soothing tone.
“Yeah. I'm good, don't worry."
Yet Bokuto doesn't believe his words and hugs him from behind, hiding his face in the crook of Akaashi's neck, nuzzling his head.
"You're going to tell me you have to work but let me help you a bit," he whispers into his bare skin before leaving Akaasshi's warmth to pour some water into a teapot and brew him a calming tea.
"I know you have coffee, but I have a feeling you might need this later..."
Bokuto quirks a bitter smile as he offers him the steaming mug of tea.
"Thanks, I think you're right," Akaashi gives him a little smile in return.
Akaashi turns on the chair to look at Bokuto, places the tea on the table, and says.
"But I may need one more of those."
"Another tea?"
Bokuto asks again ready to grab another tea bag when Akaashi's giggles make him turn to look at him with a frown of confusion, which is accentuated when Akaashi winks at him.
"No, another kiss."
The sweet gesture instantly changes Bokuto's mood, and his face lights up with a broad smile on it.
"Sure I can do that," Bokuto leans over him and cups his cheeks with both hands to gladly do as he has been told. For the first time all week, Akaashi stops thinking about work and lets himself be carried away by his boyfriend's sweet caresses.
Bokuto first kisses his right temple
"As many as you want."
He then moves to his forehead and places a kiss to undo the knit of his frown, causing Akaashi's grin to expand even more.
"As many kisses as you need."
Bokuto murmurs against his skin as he presses innocent kisses on his cheeks and lowers down until he finds his lips that are slightly parted. Still, he keeps the distance between them, breathing the same air, hesitating whether to finally close that gap fearing that Akaashi doesn't want any more distractions.
Bokuto's eyes can only look at the enticing lips he has wanted to taste for a long time. Subtly, Akaashi leans his head forward wanting him too.
In the end, Bokuto succumbs to his desire and kisses him, for real.
At that moment, Akaashi grasps the hem of his shirt to drag him closer and makes all his doubts disappear with a scorching kiss, deepening it and both moaning and humming in pleasure until Bokuto reluctantly breaks it before Akaashi's troubled look.
Akaashi lets out a small groan of disapproval.
"I don't want to disturb you anymore," Bokuto mutters as he takes a step back. "Stop biting your lips, you're hurting yourself." He orders in a worried tone, sliding his thumb across his lips before returning to the couch. Meanwhile, Akaashi stands there, watching his boyfriend walk away with parted lips and an uneasy feeling inside, which isn't new and has been with him all week.
And that is because two weeks ago he received the good news of his promotion, which means that this week he started his new role as editor-in-chief, supervising tons of work. And since then, Akaashi has only stopped by home to sleep.
They haven't even had time to celebrate the promotion together.
Akaashi repositions his glasses and takes a sip of tea, ignoring the coffee that would probably make him more anxious. Bokuto knows him well, like hell. He inhales a puff of air to calm himself, focus on the deadline, and ignore the persistent pain in his fingers.
Still, he can't help but glance intermittently at Bokuto who, covered with a beige blanket on the sofa, looks at his cell phone with a worried expression provoked by his sisters who scold him for falling asleep.
Akaashi shifts his eyes to the mountain of papers and sighs.
Akaashi stands still, head cocked to one side, resting his chin on the palm of his right hand with a look full of fondness.
"He looks so comfy..."
Akaashi keeps that thought to himself and returns to staring at his laptop screen, squeezing his eyes shut because of the unpleasant light of the laptop. However, no matter how hard he tries he can't even concentrate on reading a single line.
A feeling that constricts his heart tightly, a feeling that unfortunately he knows well and has been by his side for a long time, finds a way into his heart. That feeling disappeared when Bokuto made the entrance into his life like a whirlwind. And yet it comes back every time he leaves him.
He was well used to loneliness before — it was his routine, it was safe him alone. But since high school when he met Bokuto, the emptiness that used to be so familiar, was filled with another feeling that he didn't know well, but was better than the previous one.
When he joined the volleyball club, he didn’t expect to find his whole world.
At high school, every time he said goodbye to Bokuto and went to their respective homes, that feeling that has no place in his life anymore, that feeling he now detested, came out from the dark. The loneliness to which he had once become accustomed, he now loathed.
But loneliness brought with it a desire.
Since he met Bokuto, Akaashi was certain that he wanted to be by his side, forever.
Now, even though Bokuto is in front of him, he misses him so much that the loneliness he hates emerges again, in his own house. So Akaashi decides to put an end to it.
Akaashi closes his laptop, making its terrible screen light disappear, and gets up from his chair to do what he really wants to do: go back home.
The creak of the chair lifting makes Bokuto twist his head curious about what Akaashi is doing, however, he didn't expect to see him approaching the sofa.
Bokuto looks at him arching an eyebrow, puzzled.
"Hi again."
Akaashi greets as he takes the corner of the blanket and lifts it up to lie down with Bokuto, who at first makes some space for him so he can lie down comfortably, then closes it rapidly and snuggles up next to him.
They both stare into each other's eyes and Bokuto hangs a hand on Akaashi's hips.
"Mmmm... didn't you have to work?" Bokuto asks quizzically, scowling.
"Yes, but I want to stay by your side," Akaashi says exactly the words Bokuto was wishing to hear, knowingly, and causes a smile of pure bliss spread across his face. They remain in comfortable silence for a while, contemplating and remembering each other's features until Bokuto breaks it.
"How are you feeling?"
Akaashi gathers some air and lets it out, replying in a thin voice.
"Truly exhausted... Besides, I've been missing you..." Akaashi murmurs, feeling more and more relaxed thanks to Bokuto's caresses.
His clear statement makes Bokuto's eyes widen and breathe a sigh of relief because, despite the time they have been together, he still finds some difficulty in deciphering Akaashi's thoughts, especially when he behaves irrationally, like now. In this way, Bokuto finds more assurance in his actions.
Bokuto slides his index finger, following the delicate curves of Akaahis's figure —skimming them from his hips to his shoulder, unable to resist running it across his pronounced collarbones, until he reaches his jaw, where he follows the sharp line up to his chin to lift it. Then, Bokuto deposits a kiss on his lips gently, to which Akaashi leans in, caressing Bokuto's broad shoulders and clinging to them to get even closer. Bokuto hums into the kiss and tries to deepen it, but is stopped by Akaashi's fogged-up glasses. With a slight chuckle, Bokuto picks them up and sets them down on the armrest of the sofa.
They have barely seen each other in the last week, nor have they had enough time to spend it together, so the innocent initial kiss is extended for a make-out session that underlies the feelings of yearning, with tender touches and whispers that quietly admit: I’ve been missing you.
They explore each other's mouth until Bokuto breaks the kiss by resting his head on the arm supporting their heads, keeping Akaashi close, who snuggles into his chest and breathes in Bokuto’s smell — nuances of almond milk lotion and mint shampoo — as a few drops fall on his cheeks.
The golden eyes of Bokuto are partially covered by damp strands of hair, so Akaashi raises one of his hands to brush them away from his face.
"Want me to dry your hair?"Akaashi asks while he continues to stroke a few strands of hair, tucking them behind his ear.
"No, I just want to stay here with you,"
Bokuto kisses him on the cheek.
"But you'll catch a cold... The ace needs to play every match," Akaashi mutters provoking Bokuto's eyes to shine brightly, like glimmering stars.
"But I don’t want to move,” Bokuto grumbles hiding his face in his arm, but quickly gets himself together by applying the volleyball wit he normally has in the non-volleyball world, which doesn't happen that often: he takes off his shirt and is about to pull it over his head, showing his bare chest. When he is about to pull it over his head, Akaashi grabs it to dry Bokuto's hair.
Akaashi rubs the T-shirt on his head smoothly but Bokuto hinders his task by swinging his head from side to side.
"Stay still!"
"Now we can spend the rest of the afternoon together, here."
Akaashi whispers before kissing his fringe, and with a satisfactory grin on his face, he leans in again next to him again.
“Do you want to do something in particular?” Bokuto asks, while his fingertips dance back to Akaashi’s waist, like delicate butterfly flutters.
In response to the question, Akaashi shakes his head into Bokuto's chest in denial. In fact, he doesn't want to do anything but lie down on a comfortable surface with his cuddly boyfriend.
Seconds later, Akaashi quickly lifts his head to kiss him again, this time on the lips. Akaashi can’t help it, he is addicted to kissing Bokuto and now he can’t restrain his impulse anymore, he doesn’t want either.
“I’ve nothing in mind further than to lay here and spend the rest of the day with you”, Akaashi replies as he raises his right arm to cup Bokuto’s cheek with his hand, rubbing circles with his thumb and dragging a dazzling smile from Bokuto, just for him.
"That's good because I was planning to do exactly the same with you."
Bokuto's hand stops stroking his back and moves up Akaashi's curves until he reaches his hand and gently caresses it — his knuckles first, sliding his fingertips up and down, then wraps his hand with his, and finally, with his eyes closed, Bokuto twists his head around to kiss the palm of his hand. Although Bokuto's intentions are far from harming him in the slightest, Akaashi winces from the overexertion of his muscles from overwork.
Akaashi tries to hide it from Bokuto who, concerned, notices the first sign of pain that is reflected on his face, and massages his hand carefully to ease it.
"Are you hurt Akaashi? We can go to the hospital so you can receive some treatment," he suggests in a very concerned tone, with furrowed eyebrows.
"Don’t worry, it will fade after a few days," Akaashi says nonchalantly, trying to make Bokuto feel less worried, but in vain.
"I don’t like seeing you in pain,” he pauses to take a breath and gather some courage as he looks directly into Akaashi's capturing emerald eyes. "I know you’re passionate about your work, but I don't like to see you overdo it. I'm a little worried since your promotion..."
"I’ve to get used to my new role," Akaashi tries to lighten the mood, but Bokuto is very serious about it.
“If you need anything…. Just tell me Keiji… I don’t want to restrain you. Just want to let you know that I’m here if you need me.”
“I know.”
Bokuto looks at Akaashi's hand and takes the initiative to slide the fingers together, finally intertwining their hands, careful not to hurt them. Then, he begins to speak, with carefully chosen words, a confession born from the deepest part of his heart that leaves Akaashi speechless.
"I... I love every part of you. I don't love you only when you worry about me, I also love you when you are focused on your deadlines or reading books in complete silence, just in your world," Bokuto averts his gaze from time to time, however, Akaashi tightens his grip, making sure he is listening attentively to every word.
Bokuto's golden eyes refocus, seeking his jade ones and when they are alienated, he continues.
"Since high school, I've always felt safe by your side. You've been there for me, and I want you to know that I'm here for you too."
Akaashi also recalls the old, hard times when he helped Bokuto cope with delicate and stressful situations and talked about his emotions by naming them to face his demons. Although these were not pleasant times, they brought out a very special connection between them.
"My life without you would have been much different," Bokuto shakes his head, trying to get rid of that intrusive thought that comes and goes frequently in his head. "I don't know if reincarnation is real or just a myth. I don't know if it's possible for people to experience several lives over time, or if we've met before. In that case, I would like to remember them as every moment with you is a moment I treasure. Or in another case, I don't know if I did something amazing in the past, that fate rewarded me by bringing you into my life. I hope my luck doesn't fade because I want to love you more. I don't know if I'm too greedy, but I want to meet you in every future life I live."
Bokuto takes a breath and pauses to compose himself, which Akaashi also appreciates because he is overwhelmed with feelings.
"I'd like to talk to my future self so that he recognizes you. I hope he's not stupid enough to let you go..."
Akaashi remains absolutely silent, not knowing what to say or what to do. To this day, after all the past they share, Bokuto never ceases to surprise him. Akaashi knows that Bokuto communicates all his feelings openly, over time he has been able to manage and amplify the range of emotions and label them accordingly. But, all this talk has caught him off guard.
Bokuto's unexpectedly romantic words cause his lips to split in two and his jaw to drop slightly. To break out of the rapture, Akaashi blinks, and repeats his words in his head, realizing that his boyfriend has just revealed that he has read her latest published books.
"Bokuto... Have you read my documents?" It is more a statement than a question because Bokuto has made it clear that he has read them.
Bokuto composes a sheepish smile as if a child has been caught doing something he shouldn't and is going to be scolded.
"I sneak a bit among the documents you edit. And of course, I read your books! You are my boyfriend."
Now, a trace of guilt now appears in the gleam of his eyes — Akaashi's doubt made his chest shrink, as it is essential for Bokuto to read everything Akaashi puts effort into.
"I haven't read them all…. yet! but I loved the last one. It really made me think of you... And how my life could have been so miserable without you by my side."
Akaashi thought he couldn't be more in love with Bokuto until this very moment. Without thinking, in an impulse, he undoes the grip to cover part of his mouth in surprise.
"You don't have to," Akaashi says in muffled words, avoiding his gaze by covering his embarrassingly flushed face with both hands.
"But I want to, Kaashi! When I read your novels, I don't just pay attention to the story, I also appreciate all the struggle you've put into it. I'm not only reading the description of the landscapes, the feelings and emotions of the characters, I'm also reading all the sleepless nights you've spent writing, all the times you've been frustrated because you couldn't find the perfect words or synonyms. I am reading all the effort and passion you have poured into the editing of all your books.".
Bokuto's honey eyes shine brighter and brighter during his confession, trying to convince him how wonderful he is and how much he appreciates and cares about everything Akaashi does.
He pauses to remove his hands from his face so he can look directly into Akaashi's glassy eyes — like emeralds melting under the intensity of the sun — and not miss any of his expressions. Bokuto needs him to look at him, needs to know what Akaashi is thinking, and above all, he needs to see his eyes.
When he gets it, he swallows and continues with his confession.
"In your books, I can smell all the coffee you drink as you rub your eyes. Or I can hear all your complaints because that sentence doesn't make sense, but somehow it does. I can't always read all your works, but I wish I could because I’d get another piece of your heart. An Akaashi who loves what he does, another side of you. I love you not only when you are by my side or when you hug me and support me. But also when you are you."
At that moment, Bokuto stops talking, and his eyebrows rise in surprise as he sees tears streaming down his boyfriend’s face, unnoticed by Akaashi.
"Akaashi, are you okay, do your hands hurt a lot?"
Bokuto tries to let go of his hands, but Akaashi tightens the lock securely.
"No, it's my heart," Aakaashi sobs in his own words, crying even harder. Bokuto interrupts him in fright, as he stutters out of nervousness, ready to fly out of the house straight to the nearest hospital.
"Should we go to the hospital?"
"No", Akaahsi breathes to regain some serenity. "It hurts because I love you so much," Akaashi sketches a smile covered by more tears that fall on the sofa.
Bokuto smiles back but with bitterness at how much he is making Akaashi cry. Bokuto takes his hand confidently, bringing it to his face, and caresses it against his cheek. He then kisses it several times, because it is a well-known secret that he loves Akaashi's perfect hands.
"Kaashi, don’t cry… please," Bokuto wants to wipe away all his boyfriend's tears but with one arm serving as a pillow and the other hand, busy wrapping around Akaashi's, his range of movements is immobilized. So he leans closer and first kisses his left cheek, right after the bridge of his nose where the tears slide down and divert their trajectory to fall on the sofa.
Akaashi looks at him with half-closed, teary eyes, which flood with tears at Bokuto's following words.
"You know that... But I want to remind you that I love you, Keiji."
Bokuto sits up, to grunts of disapproval from Akaashi, who only wants to stay next to him — at home. Bokuto sits on the couch with his back straight, followed by Akaashi, who raises his arm to wipe his eyes from tears. Then, Bokuto gives him a little poke on the nose that makes him yelp in surprise.
"Will you wait for me for a sec?" Bokuto asks getting up from the sofa, a little worried that Akaashi will burst into tears as much as before.
"Always, Kou," Akaashi whispers avoiding his gaze, but Bokuto hears him perfectly — he would hear him even if he were miles away — which makes him hesitate in his movements
"You can't say these things to me, Keiji..." Bokuto mutters as he heads to his bedroom with a little grin. “Although you're always better with words than I am, certainly."
Akaashi uses the moment to rub his eyes and pull himself together. This time, Bokuto has broken him inside. Over all these years, he has told Bokuto countless times how much he is in love with him, and so is he. However, this confession has reminded him that his love radiates such intensity and vividness that it will never fade.
The silhouette of Bokuto shadowing the light from the floor lamp in the living room causes Akaashi to come to his senses and direct his gaze directly at his movements. Assuming he was going to sit down next to him again to snuggle together, he moves to make room for him on the sofa. Bokuto, on the other hand, kneels on the floor and takes his left hand.
Bokuto stares into Akaashi's intense green eyes.
"Keiji, there is nothing you don't know by now about me, both my virtues and my most feared and painful facets. And there's nothing I don't like about you. So…"
Bokuto pauses and looks at Akaashi's hand which he holds firmly. He then relaxes his grip, stroking the top of his hand, running his thumb over each of his fingers, careful not to hurt him. Before Akaashi realizes what is happening, Bokuto has placed a silver ring on his finger and is caressing his knuckles, while staring at him with eyes full of love. Although he finds it difficult because his eyes are now blurry from the tears that have started to accumulate.
"Of course, you can say n—"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Koutarou.!"
Akaashi cuts him off abruptly and throws himself into his strong arms that embrace him tightly, and kisses him tenderly.
"Of course I want to marry you," he whispers between gasps and sobs.
Bokuto smiles broadly as tears stream down his face.
Akaashi slides his right hand from Bokuto's cheek and descends it until he reaches his heart, beating wildly in his chest. Meanwhile, he links his other hand with his and rest the lock on his own chest, which is also pounding heavily. Bokuto takes a deep breath to calm his nerves.
Knowing that Akaashi, who usually seems calm and collected, is as nervous as he is, helps him somehow.
"Can you hear it? It's not just the sound of how happy I feel right now, but the sound of the excitement of starting a new journey together. Even though we've been together for a long time now, these sounds represent the connection we have with each other and how hard we try to keep it in its most natural state and make it last. Also, I appreciate all the little gestures you do for me every day that speak louder than words and tell me in an inaudible whisper how in love you are. I also can't imagine a life without you, although I'm sure it will be a duller life, a worse life. For that, I am also grateful to have met you in this one. And I want to tell the caffeinated Akaashi of the future to be very attentive so that in case he is offered a cup of tea because he is on the verge of tears, he will accept it without hesitation because he will know that this person is the right one."
Akaashi pauses because his lips have started to tremble, however, he manages to say the last words clearly.
"I love you too, Koutarou. And I want you to stay by my side forever."
At this point, both are crying inconsolably, even though their eyesight is blurred because of the sea of tears that have welled up in their eyes, their gazes are still glued together. They are not sour or painful tears; they are born of the purest emotions they both share. Not because they are bound to each other out of obligation or because it is more convenient, but because that bond that unites their hearts has been woven by their effort. It is not a "pure" love if there is one. They have built a love that has its ups and downs: there are moments when it is weaker and needs more nurture. And yet, there are other moments when it seems to have a life of its own, like a plant that manages to bloom in the most barren lands at the most unexpected moments.
"I am absolutely sure that a life without you will never be perfect." Akaashi babbles between gulps, noticing that Bokuto’s heart rate has picked up.
"Luckily, I have your hands and your flushed cheeks”, Bokuto says placing several kisses on his knuckles. “And if I don’t err on the side of boldness, your heart. But I want you to know..." he gently taps the hand grip on his chest “that mine belongs to you”.
Finally, neither of them can stand it any longer and press their lips together, fiercely at first, demonstrating the intensity of their emotions. Words are no longer meaningful for them, only the warmth of their bodies is the perfect channel of communication to convey their feelings. Akaashi holds Bokuto's cheeks tightly, as their tears mingle, and Bokuto grips Akaashi by the waist firmly, subtly asking him to never leave. Between loud gasps, they break the kiss to catch their breaths. Akaashi looks at Bokuto who moves his hands to his cheeks, to take Akaashi's hands and stroke them carefully, worshipping him.
Akaashi looks expectantly at his actions, holding more tears in his eyes. Suddenly, he lets out a light chuckle.
"Koutaro, you always manage to leave me speechless; I hope I never have to edit a book of yours because I'd get fired."
Bokuto giggles.
"I don't like that you can't do what you love the most, but I do like spending more time with you". Now, Bokuto is frowning hard. "I don't know how you unexpectedly manage to put me at a moral crossroads with your books and words, Kaashi." He chews on his bottom lip, with a sorrowful look.
Akaashi gets up to grab Bokuto's shirt and wipe away his tears by rubbing it on his face. After, he hands it to Bokuto who wipes them from his eyes, red from crying.
"Kaashi! How can you have such beautiful eyes after crying!" Akaashi's emerald green eyes glow in the dimly lit room.
"It's not true" Akaashi denies by shaking his head while laughing softly.
"Sometimes I wish you could see yourself through my own eyes, so you'd know how fascinating you are. Though since that's not possible, I try to tell you every day,” Bokuto’s honest words strike Akaashi one more time.
"Bokuto, what's wrong with you today? You're managing to make me cry again." Akaashi tilts his head lightly to the right side, arching an eyebrow and nibbling on his bottom lip. This time, Bokuto doesn’t hesitate for a second and hugs Akaashi tightly.
"Enough crying already! I think we could have saved half of the water bill today.” Akaashi laughs in his chest at that unexpected change to an adult mood.
"You're right."
Suddenly, Akaashi's phone rings. Akaashi pulls away from Bokuto's embrace to see the contact who sent him the message, who turns out to be the colleague he had promised to have the manuscript reviewed by 9 pm. But, obviously, he has written absolutely nothing.
He shows his discomfort by pursing his lips into a thin line.
“Problems?” Bokuto sneakily looks at the message on the screen: Hey Akaashi, do you have the papers done? I'm still waiting for them.
Akaashi lets out a painful sigh. At that, Bokuto plants a kiss on his right cheek.
“I understand Kaashi”, he stands up and stretches his arms.
Akaashi looks doubtfully at the subsequent message that emerges: Are you there? Akaashi?
However, his eyes avert from the screen and shift to contemplate Bokuto’s broad shoulders and bare chest. Then his eyes look up to see him yawing.
"You know? my colleague owes me a couple of favors..."
Bokuto goes back to the couch.
"You coming?" He asks shyly as he opens his arms for Akaashi, who immediately throws himself into his embrace.
"Bokuto, look at the camera", Akaashi says as he takes a selfie showing the hand with the ring to send it to his colleague.
The reply is instantaneous.
Wow, congratulations! Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. I'll tell the boss you won't be coming in on Monday... since it looks like, even though you're still dressed, I've interrupted something.
After spending the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch with their legs intertwined, while discussing certain aspects of Akaashi's book and his tiring week at work, they decide to go to bed to rest together properly. Akaashi lies down on the bed first and breathes for the first time in weeks in the comfort of the bed. He raises his left hand in the air to see his ring and smiles. Later, Bokuto who was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, appears and hovers over him, placing one knee on the bed, and kisses his puffed cheek. Then, he rests his head on his chest, until his breathing slows, and he falls asleep while Akaashi strokes his head.
He kisses the crown of his head and snuggles into his arms before Bokuto shifts his position to cuddle Akaashi.
"Love you," Bokuto whispers. Akaashi holds back his laughter because it seems like Bokuto is talking in dreams.
He turns to press a kiss on his lips, while he gently fondles the contours of his face, pushing away the hair that covers his eyes, delicately, with the tip of her index finger, fearing waking him from his deep sleep.
"I love you too," He mumbles in secret so that no one can hear his intimacy. It doesn't take long before Akaashi falls asleep next to Bokuto, in such loving, warm, and caring arms. The next morning, he wakes up with the first rays of the morning sun, still in the embrace they have shared all night. Akaashi swears to heaven that he has never slept as well as that night in his entire life and now knows for sure that this night will be his routine and that he will always have the person he loves the most by his side forever.
I'm at home