Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Blinker, CT - 3498, sat on his second-level bunk bed. It was just before they set out to a battle against the droid army. The room was silent, each trooper fiddling with his blaster, or sitting silently. Blinker himself was gazing down at his blaster, trying to stop his hands from shaking, and succeeding.

He turned his focus over to the small loth cat plush he had placed near his pillow and smiled slightly, a bit more comforted than before. It had been given to him at a young age, when a kind jedi had seen how scared he was. He had gratefully taken it, and since then had always wanted to go to Lothal to see a real one. Hopefully he would sometime soon.

Blinker looked up and around the room, at each trooper. They each had their own haircuts, a couple had tattoos, and painted armor. Each clone was their own individual. And, letting thoughts get the best of him, he couldn’t help but acknowledge that they would probably lose at least one of the troopers in this room. He shook his head slightly, as if that would scatter away the thought.
He slowly lowered his arm against his leg, and his head against his hand.

“Well, am I the only one here excited to battle them clankers?”

Storm, the only clone in the room with hair that was as long as the helmet would allow, spoke out, breaking the ice of the silent room. His expression was excitement, as one could guess.

“Haha, no, Storm! I’m excited to lessen the droid army by a few as well.”

Sparkplug replied, standing and stretching his arms out, before walking towards Blinker, who quickly grabbed his plush and stuffed it into the bottom of his blaster holster, before placing his blaster in over top. This is where he always kept it. Several other clones stood as well, along with Blinker, who slid off his bunk and onto the ground beside Sparkplug. He tried to join in their excitement, but mostly stayed silent. Some held their blasters out, now standing around, making small talk. Not much was said, and Blinker ended up joining the conversation.

“You alright there, Blinker?”

Sparkplug whispered to him once finished talking with Red, another close friend to the both of them, which caused him to turn his head. Red was staring worriedly at him, standing behind Sparkplug.

“Yeah..”

He paused, then sighed, knowing he couldn’t hide his feelings from his friends,

“No.”

Sparkplug placed his hand on Blinker’s shoulder, a sympathetic look on his face. Sparkplug and Red both knew the full extent of his fear, most other clones thought he was just a bit more afraid.

“You’ll be alright, pal. Hang in there.”

Sparkplug pat his shoulder, turning his head and speaking with some other brothers. Red nodded in agreement sympathetically, before joining in with Sparkplug. Blinker smiled slightly, feeling better, as he recognized Sparkplug had left his hand on Blinker’s shoulder.

After a few minutes of small talk amongst the clones, it was time. The door was opened and in stepped their commanding officer, Dodger. A clone, Dodger’s friend, obviously, standing beside him. He crossed his arms and gazed around, eyes having a firm glare to them.

“Alright troopers. Time to head into our transport shuttles, and down to the ground below. You all better be ready, cause we’re heading in.”

He spoke with a hard edge to his tone. Blinker knew he cared for his brothers, just wanted everyone to be prepared, which Blinker definitely was not. He had a strange feeling, though, that Dodger didn’t actually really like him… he shook off the feeling. He hid his fear well, though, or at least he thought he did. He wasn’t ever prepared for a battle. He inhaled, though just sharply nodded and spoke,

“Yes sir!”

along with the rest of his squad. They all stood at the ready, in a formation, helmets now placed on. They lined up and started to file, one by one, out of the room. Blinker was the second to last to leave the room, with Spike right behind him, and Red in front of him. Down the hallways they trotted, past their fellow brothers, past even the Jedi knight General Kenobi. His heart was pounding, ears ringing with the Click clack click clack sound of their boots simultaneously hitting the hard floor. He shouldn’t feel this nervous. He should be as ready as the rest of them. But it wasn’t his fault, and him along with everyone who knew his fears acknowledged that fact.
He heard several of his brothers talking as he and his squad ran past them, and couldn’t help but eavesdrop a couple words.

“Time..”

“Outside we..”

“Down..”

None of them made sense to him, but that was because he only heard a few words as he kept up the pace.
But eventually they came to a halt.

Blinker and the others were directed, by their commander, onto a transport ship. Holding his DC-17 pistol in one hand, he reached the other up to hold onto the safety grip on the top to steady himself. Everyone else did the same, passing a few hushed words to one another as everyone steadily entered the ship.

But, as Dodger entered the transport, silence. Just the engines of the ship, occasional clank of boots on the floor as clones steadied themselves, and a few words from the pilot.
Blinker also worried a lot for the pilots. When ships were shot down, no-one usually checked to see if the pilot was still alive.. but if they crashed, and Blinker was still alive and standing, he would check on the pilot. He always knew he would. He had only been shot down once, and had helped the pilot out.

Hopefully they wouldn’t get shot down, though.

If they did, there was a slim chance any of them would live, unless they were closer to the ground, in which case there was a larger chance of survival.

Blinker’s mind kept flashing through scenarios, outcomes, and worries. This kept him occupied, although worried, most of the flight down to the surface. He hardly noticed his brothers talking, until Sparkplug nudged him lightly,

“Hey, Blink. You alright there?”

Blinker tilted his head to look at his brother,

“Oh, the usual worries.”

He responded in a quiet tone. He knew Red would also be worried for him, but he was on the other side of the cabin.

“Hey, you’ll be fine. You always are. And afterwards, me and you’ll be fit as ever!”

Sparkplug rubbed his back lightly and Blinker felt comforted. Sparkplug always knew how to help him. Blinker returned the favor and they were in a side hug for a second, before pulling apart.

Blinker looked around as he noticed the engine slowing down by a small bit, before lurching and stumbling a tad as the ship landed. He passed a glance at Sparkplug, who nodded encouragingly at him. He nodded back, then whipped his head to the door as it opened. Everyone in the transport was tense.

When the doors were opened, they all raced out, taking a second to notice what was happening and where everyone was. Then they plunged into the thick of it.

Blaster fire, yelling, screaming, stomping of boots and metal hitting the ground, and the occasional whoosh of a lightsaber. He raced forwards and held up his blaster, knowing he didn’t have much time to aim, and shot. The blast missed the droid.

Run, aim, shoot.

Run, aim, shoot.

Run, aim, shoot.

Again and again he repeated the same action, angling himself so the clone behind him had a good shot, and also so that he himself had a good shot. He had gotten used to this, though. The rush. Time seeming as if it were rushing forwards and slowing down at the same time. His heart was racing, breath quick, eyes darting from side to side. But not with exhilaration or excitement, but fear, as per usual.

Blinker raced behind a few clones, getting a tad closer to the droids, and took his shot. It hit, and he watched as a droid sparked with electricity, then fell, headless. He didn’t have time to enjoy his shot as a blaster bolt whizzed past his head and he heard a scream from behind, directly behind.

He whipped around and quickly ducked down, so he could check the fallen clone and not be shot at the same time. He sat his blaster down beside the brother and checked to see if the man had a pulse, which he did.

His heart felt a little less heavy after that.

He raised his arm and beckoned to a medic, calling,

“We need a medic over here!”

Loudly, so he could be heard over the loud sounds of the battle. He stood, grabbing his blaster, and let out a small sigh of relief as the medic rushed over and started dragging the unconscious clone over to a safe zone, behind the fighting and a large wall.
He plunged back into the battle, and was quickly back to his routine of run, aim, shoot.

Blinker huffed as he ducked down to dodge a volley of blaster fire, heart pounding. What if one of the bolts hit him? What if one of the bolts hit Sparkplug? He didn’t know what he would do without Sparkplug, his brother helped him so much.

He snapped out of his thoughts as the volley stopped, launched himself up, and shot down a couple of droids. The clones around him who had also hunkered down did the same, maneuvering around so they didn’t hit one another.
It was a very precarious thing, battle was. One wrong shot, your brother’s dead. One late move, you're either in pain or dead. Too many mistakes and your battalion’s captured. In the end, each clone had to play his part. The tide of the battle could end up being down to one man.

He let his body flow into muscle memory, sort of an autopilot mode, as he thought. He was conscious of his actions, knew what he was doing, but his mind was drifting. He thought most soldiers could do this, but wasn’t completely sure.

Blinker’s thoughts drifted to the Jedi, those mysterious force users. He had wondered many times what he would do if he could use the force, though never was for sure. And what about their lightsabers? Those things were powered by some crystals, or at least that’s what he heard.

How could a crystal power such a powerful weapon?

Well, one thing was for sure.

He’d never know.

He was a soldier, not a Jedi. He’d never know what it felt like to use the force.

Never know what it’s like to use one of them lightsabers.

And most of all, never know what it’s like to be as sure of your actions as a Jedi.

At least he thought the Jedi were sure of themselves. When he looked at General Kenobi, the man always seemed so sure of himself. Never hesitated in giving orders, or deciding a course of action.

Blinker paid attention to the battle a bit as his muscle memory told him to duck from the incoming fire, and he did so. He fully focused again, he knew he was safe when he did that, but it was better to be aware.

He lifted up his blaster and rapidly fired, taking down a couple droids, but it seemed as if the sea of metal would never stop. There were droid parts everywhere, along with clone bodies. He shivered inwardly, trying as best as he could not to pay attention to them.

Not only was it losing a brother when a clone fell, Blinker realized, it was like losing a part of yourself. When you look at their face, it’s as if you’re looking at your own. Because you are.
Being clones, their face is yours, and your face is theirs. Though no clones are ever truly the same, in reality. Different hair styles, perhaps some tattoos, and very different personalities.

Blinked grunted as a brother accidentally knocked into him, and quickly pointed his blaster down to make sure he didn’t accidentally shoot a brother.
The man beside him was panting, and he quickly pat the clone’s back,

“You alright?”

Blinker yelled over the chaos, and the clone nodded. Blinker nodded back, lifting up the DC-17 and heading back into routine.
He hastily looked around for Sparkplug, though he knew he wouldn’t be able to see him. There were too many men here to single out a specific one, especially with the chaos of the battle. He let out a worried sigh then continued his firing, racing forwards.

They seemed to be pushing the droid forces back, which gave Blinker a sliver of hope, even through his panic. That was why he tried to let his mind drift when he could, so he would be distracted and not run off with panic. It worked. Very well, in fact.

He panted as he shoved behind a clone, making space for the clone behind him to have a shot, as well as himself.

Time slowed.

Blinker raised his blaster, the average thing to do when going in for a shot. He pulled the trigger, and followed the blast as it flew through the air. Past his brother’s heads, arms, etcetera. It was perfectly shot, aiming straight towards a droid’s head.

But something happened Blinker would live to blame himself for, something that he would always think was his fault.

His blast flew perfectly, straight towards the clanker, and Blinkers’s heart dropped as time slowed. A clone in the front was shot, which sent him flying back into another brother, who tripped. Right into Blinker’s blaster fire. The clone stumbled down with a scream of pain, whipping around and making short, panicked eye contact with Blinker, then lying still when his body reached the floor.

All that happened within seconds, though to Blinker it felt like minutes. Blinker could have let out a yell, he wasn't really sure. He did know he ended up beside the clone he had shot, trying desperately to see if he was alive.

“Medic! Medic, help!”

He was sure he did yell that, guilt and fear threatening to overwhelm him. His breath was coming in short, panicked gasps, but the droid army getting pushed back did help. He looked up, breathing heavily as a medic ran up to him. Blinker hadn't been able to tell if the clone was alive, he wasn’t even sure if he himself was alive. He just couldn’t think straight.

He stared at the medic blankly, and the clone stared back. Blinker was sure the man had said something to him, but he hadn’t been paying enough attention to tell what.

“What?”

He slowly asked the medic, each letter difficult to get out.

“Help me drag him over there.”

The medical clone repeated, picking up the fallen clone’s right arm.

“A-alright.”

Blinker stuttered out, numbly picking up his brother’s, whom he kept reminding himself he did this to, left arm. He followed beside the medical clone, inhaling and exhaling deeply. It all seemed like a blur, all the running and yelling orders, it just happened all so fast. Guilt and fear for his brother was built up inside him now, and he hoped he would find Sparkplug soon…
Sparkplug..

What if the clone he had hit was Sparkplug?! He had been so distraught that he hadn’t even thought of that possibility. He was breathing shakily now, feeling as if he were going to pass out at the thought. He took the time to observe the clone’s armor, and let out a guilty sigh of relief. It didn’t seem to be Sparkplug, or Red, he acknowledged, and that made him feel better. But he still felt so guilty about what happened. All he could do was hope his brother would live.

He sat down the man, his armor clanking against the ground as he flopped limply to the floor. Blinker winced under his helmet, and if he didn’t have his helmet on, you’d see he was visibly shaken at what had happened. As would anyone, he assumed, when you accidentally shot someone who was related to you. Not only that, but someone who looked exactly like you.
Though Blinker didn’t know him, they were still brothers, and every single death he witnessed brought more and more sadness to him. Along with it naturally came fear.

Fear he would be next.

Fear a close brother would be lost, such as Sparkplug, or Red.

Fear his brother wouldn’t make it, and it would be all his fault.

Fear.

He slowly looked up to the medic, senses coming back a bit more as he sat and thought. Shock coursed through him as he saw the clone’s armor, and he blinked.

How had he not noticed the medic was Red?

“R-Red, sorry I um.. didn’t notice it was you.”

He stuttered out, staring at his brother, a close friend.
Red seemed very confused, and he assumed his brother had been confused this whole time as to why Blinker didn’t seem to recognize him.

“It’s alright, Blink. Just get back out there, you can’t stay here.”

Red replied, giving Blinker a quick pat on the back, and finishing the pat with a light shove towards the dusty battlefield.

“A-alright. Just- just um- tell me what happens to that clone.”

He quickly spoke to Red, turning and racing off, heart pounding in worry as he made his way back into the thick of it.

He couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the battle. His mind was still on everything that had transpired. He had shot a brother, and then didn’t even recognize Red was the medic to help the poor clone.. he might have been out of it before, but everything was a blur then.. he hadn’t even recognized a close friend.

He dared not raise his blaster, even now that he was out on the battlefield. What if he shot another brother? He looked around nervously and dejectedly, now he was scared to even shoot a blaster! He had felt a little useless before, but now he felt completely useless.

A jolt of fear shot through him.

Not only would he feel guilty about what he had done, and in doing so punish himself by remembering this for the rest of his life, but he realized… When other people, or even other clones, found out, he would be punished by the republic too… He took a shaky breath in yet again, the air getting caught in his throat. What if they punished him by death? They could think he was a traitor.. And he did that on purpose.. But he didn’t! It was a mere accident.

A stupid, chaotic, careless mistake.

A mistake that could cost him his life.

A mistake that.. that could cost a brother’s life.

And that was the worst part. He deserved to be punished, but the poor clone… he didn’t deserve what happened to him. It was all a stupid coincidence. Blinker would never let this guilt leave him, he could already tell.

His eyes flashed up and he yelled, quickly ducking down as he panted. A bolt flew right over his head, grazing his helmet barely. He stood and looked around frantically. His gaze rested on a droid, the droid that had almost ended him, before watching it get shot down. That was the last of the droids, it seemed, but that was no time for victory.

Blinker’s nerves were still on edge, spiked with tension.
His heart was racing, eyes wide with terror. He gasped and stumbled forwards as he felt a hand on his shoulder, whipping around making the mistake of holding his blaster up to whatever had touched him.

“Woah, woah, easy bud. I'm a friend.”

Blinker quickly lowered his blaster from the man’s face, holstering it and letting his shoulders droop. It was Sparkplug, and he had just aimed his blaster at his best friend. Though he didn’t speak, Sparkplug’s body language voiced his concern. Blinker’s heart dropped at the next words that came from Sparkplug’s mouth.

“Em.. Red wants to see you. About the clone.”

You’d think this would lift Blinker’s spirits, perhaps the clone had survived! But it was not likely. Blinker knew his friend quite well, and could tell it was bad news, from the way he shifted his feet and held his shoulders tightly.

“Okay..”

Blinker murmured, dropping his gaze and trailing slowly after Sparkplug. He noticed Sparkplug glance over his shoulder a couple times at the worried and dejected-looking Blinker. As one could guess, Blinker’s thoughts were not currently in a very good spot. What if he was executed for treason by fellow clones, a firing squad? What if he was sentenced to life in prison? What if even Sparkplug turned against him?

Blinker looked up at Sparkplug, inhaling shakily. He knew Sparkplug had a million questions.

Why was he looking so down, who was this clone, and just overall, what happened?

Blinker looked back down to the dusty ground, noticing as his boots kicked up dust. He wasn’t ready to answer any questions yet. Or ever, really. If his helmet was off you’d be able to see him visibly wince as he recalled everything that happened. He remembered watching the bolt leave his DC-17, seeing it flying towards his target, a battle droid, before it happened.. The clone was knocked into his blaster fire and screamed, staring panic-stricken and in pain at Blinker, before falling still.

He looked up and saw Sparkplug standing close to his face, worriedly shaking Blinker’s shoulder. His helmet had been removed and placed under his unused arm.

“Hey, hey Blinker, you okay?”

His voice was obviously concerned, and his breath was heavy. Blinker sighed, leaning into his friend.

“No.”

He admitted honestly, though he was sure that was quite obvious. Sparkplug held him in a hug with his blaster behind Blinker’s back for a few seconds, before releasing. One he had released, Blinker removed his helmet to look into Sparkplug’s worried gaze.

“I can tell you don’t wanna talk about it now. I'll ask later.”

He acknowledged Blinker’s unspoken wish of not talking about it, which the man was grateful for. Somehow, his friend knew how to read him perfectly. Sparkplug turned back around and kept heading towards the medical area.

Blinker’s heart dropped even more as they drew nearer to where Red and the other medical clones were stationed, where Blinker had taken the clone. There was a giant tree, several bushes, and an old broken-down wall where the injured clones were. The main protection was the tree, with the wall on the side, and bushes encircling the small ‘clearing’ one could say.

He closed his eyes for a split second, wishing, hoping all he could that the clone would be alive. That Blinker hadn’t killed his own brother. That he could apologize a million times.
But the chance of that was slim, with Sparkplug’s body language, and Red’s sitting position.
He let out a small, worried sigh, and approached Red from behind Sparkplug. He slowly sat his helmet down and out of the way.

Red had taken his helmet off and sat it on the ground, and his expression was gim and worried.

“S-so? What's- what’s the news?”

He stuttered, looking into Red’s eyes. To Blinker’s horror, there seemed to be a gleam of mistrust in Red’s eyes as he stared at Blinker.

“He’s gone, Blinker.”

Red spoke, his eyes locked on Blinker’s, a cold but worried glare. Blinker started to feel overwhelmed with panicked heat as it waved up from his feet to his head.

“And he said, before he died, that the last thing he saw was you with your blaster pointed straight at him.”

Chapter Text

Red was staring at him expectantly, and Blinker’s heart practically stopped. He saw Sparkplug’s face shift from curiosity to mistrust and confusion.

“There had better be a good explanation for this, Blinker.”

Red tried to sound professional, though Blinker, knowing him, could hear his friend sounded betrayed. Red thought there was a chance Blinker had done this on purpose.

“I- Red, there is an explanation, I promise you!”

He blurted out, trying to get a quick defense out before he gave his full explanation. He was breathing panic-strickenly, what if his friends didn’t believe him? What if they thought he was a traitor for a stupid accident, that he deeply regretted?

“Well, explain, then.”

Red urged him, and he nodded, taking a quick glance at Sparkplug, noticing he was looking at Blinker expectantly for a good explanation. He inhaled, preparing to speak, and praying that they would believe him.

Blinker slowly took the time to explain all that had happened, and what had led to this. How he had shot at a droid, before this clone, which Red interrupted to say his name was Quickshot, was pushed into his blaster fire. He told Red and Sparkplug that Quickshot was in the front of the attack, and that a clone beside him was shot, leading to him being bumped into Blinker’s way. He was shaking with nervous anticipation as he looked from Sparkplug to Red, from Red to Sparkplug.

Red had a thoughtful expression on his face, and Blinker could tell he was trying to decide whether he believed Blinker or not. Sparkplug rested his hand on Blinker’s shoulder, and when Blinker turned, he saw his friend had a trusting look on his face. Blinker let out a small sigh of relief, at least one friend believed him.

“Blinker, I trust you. I do. But I hope you don't plan to keep this a secret.”

He positioned his head to look at Red as he spoke, and Blinker winced as he noticed Red was standing over Quickshot’s body. He nodded reluctantly,

“Don’t worry, I was going to tell you. And…”

He paused, turning to the ground.

“And I'll tell General Kenobi.”

Blinker finished, letting his shoulders droop. He could only imagine how the jedi knight would punish him. But the jedi were kind, right? Surely they wouldn’t jump to conclusions. The jedi were fair, he was sure of that. He tried to shake off any last crumbs of doubt he had that he would be executed for this, but he knew that wouldn’t work.
Blinker peered at Red, who’s expression had changed from doubtful to sympathetic and sad.

“Good, It’ll be better for you to tell him yourself.”

Red spoked, and Sparkplug nodded in agreement.

“For now, I don’t want anyone to turn against you, so I won’t tell anyone.”

Red glanced around, leaning closer to Blinker,

“Some clones won’t take this ordeal as well as me and Sparkplug have.”

He whispered to Blinker, and Sparkplug nodded in solemn agreement. Blinker gulped, knowing that was true. Quickshot would have had some friends, who were now missing him. That made
Blinker feel worse. He imagined how he would feel if he lost Sparkplug or Red, especially Sparkplug. He nodded slowly in sad agreement, he knew if some clone had accidentally shot Sparkplug he wouldn’t believe them, and would want some revenge. For the clone to be punished.

He looked up as he heard dust being kicked around, getting louder and heading towards them. He winced as he saw it was Dodger, their commanding officer.

“You boys doing alright over here?”

Dodger questioned, crossing his arms. Blinker knew he must have seen their facial expressions and came over, so he quickly looked down to the ground.

“Yes, Dodger, everything’s alright here.”

He heard Red speak, and noticed Sparkplug shuffling his feet awkwardly. Red sounded convincing to someone who didn’t know him well, but since Blinker did know him, he could hear a very slight waver in his voice. He closed his eyes for a second, hoping that Dodger believed Red.
Luck was not on his side.

“Hmm.. Blinker, how about you?”

Blinker recognized Dodger’s pressing tone, and knew he must answer. He also knew his voice would give away his true emotions. He looked up at Dodger, seeing his firm and worried expression.
He winced and recognized the truth; he’d have to tell Dodger what happened. Now.

“W-well, sir.. I.. I um…”

He stuttered, trying to start.

“What is it, trooper?”

Dodger pressed further, obviously trying to get answers.
Blinker took a shaky inhale, looked around to make sure no-one except Red, Dodger, and Sparkplug were listening, before slowly, carefully, and anxiously explaining what had happened. Dodger’s eyes widened in sadness as Blinker went on, before hardening into a distrustful, hate filled glare.

“An accident, is that so?”

Blinker winced at the tone and expression, breath quickening. He realized he hadn’t prepared himself for what would happen if Dodger didn’t believe him.

“Y-yes sir..”

He choked the words out, lifting one of his arms and resting it on the other. He let his eyes drop to the floor, painfully aware that would make him seem more suspicious. But he couldn’t hold Dodger’s gaze. He just couldn’t. Dodger shifted lightly, and he could imagine the facial expression the man was making. Distrust, an unwavering glare, and perhaps a gleam of uncertainty.

“Come with me.”

Dodger spoke, motioning for Blinker to follow. Blinker felt as if terror were threatening to overwhelm him, but all he did was give a stiff, nervous nod, and start walking after Dodger. He made sure to grab his helmet as he passed where he had set it. Sparkplug gave him a quick side hug,

“You’ll be okay.”

The man gave him quick assurance, a deeply worried expression on his face. Then he released him, and Blinker spoke a soft thanks. He trotted a bit to catch up the small distance made between him and Dodger. His heart was pounding, and he quickly and quietly placed his helmet on. Easier to hide his emotions that way, when no-one could see your face. And Blinker’s face was full of panic.

He opened his mouth to ask where they were going, where Dodger was taking him, but after a second he snapped it closed. He didn’t want to make the situation any worse than it was. Blinker trailed behind Dodger, who still had his helmet off, and noticed him glancing distrustfully back at Blinker every so often.

Blinker tried not to shake, he didn’t want to make the situation worse by seeming even more guilty. Dodger didn’t know the extent of his malfunction, nor did any clone other than Red or Sparkplug. So the more nervous he seemed, the more it would seem as if he were not telling the truth. Though he couldn’t help it!

He let out a small sigh, which caused Dodger to glance back at him, a glare in his eyes. Blinker winced at the look he was given, and dropped his line of sight to the dusty ground yet again.
He drew in another shaky breath, thoughts getting the better of him as he slowly followed after Dodger. Dodger didn’t seem to trust him one bit, which heightened Blinker’s dread. Now his doubts about being executed were coming back, and horrid images flashed through his mind.

His stupid imagination created a scenario, him being placed against a wall, a firing squad of his brothers stood in front of him. He imagined Dodger speaking, telling the squad to ready their weapons. Dodger told them to aim their blasters, and even though this was a fake image, terror, sadness, and panic spread through his body, threatening to overwhelm him. He imagined Dodger ordering the clones to fire, an icy edge to his tone.

Blinker gasped and stumbled back, shaking his head. Dodger quickly whipped his head around, and blinker fell to the ground, wincing as he noticed Dodger had his hand on his blaster in preparation.

“S-sorry, sir. I.. I just let my thoughts get the best of me.”

He gulped, adding to himself, ‘so please don’t shoot me.’
Dodger narrowed his eyes and released his blaster slowly, nodding briskly.

“Fine.”

He muttered, motioning for Blinker to come up beside him instead of dropping behind as he had been this whole time. Blinker kicked up dirt as he moved in beside Dodger, and now he noticed the man always had one eye on him. His heart dropped as he realized his suspicions from the barracks were correct, Dodger didn’t like him.

They walked in a tense silence over towards a transport ship, and Blinker felt a shiver pass down his spine. Were they going off-world? He drew in a hiss of breath through clenched teeth, paused for half a second, and followed. Dodger gave him an untrusting glance, and stepped onto the small ship, reaching up and grabbing the grip. Blinker gulped, taking a chance,

“Where are we heading?”

You could tell he wasn’t alright by his tone, but Dodger seemed to ignore his wavering voice.

“General Kenobi.”

He answered simply, releasing the grip for a second to place his helmet on. Blinker inhaled sharply. He had planned on telling the general himself, without anyone else, but he couldn’t back out of it now.

“Alright.”

He swallowed nervously, voice obviously shaking. Blinker stepped up and onto the ship, they were the only two there other than the pilot, who seemed to not be paying attention to his and Doger’s conversation. He reached his hand up to grab the grip on the top, tightly clenching his fist around it.

He closed his eyes and drew in a nervous breath. This was not going to go well, he was sure of that.

The ship’s doors closed, and Blinker opened his eyes, staring at the crack where the doors had met.This was happening. In a few minutes, he was going to be placed at the mercy of his jedi general. But surely he would be spared, right? Kenobi was a good general, and Blinker surprisingly recalled seeing him at the front of the assault several times, though it was just a whizz of a blue lightsaber. Surprisingly, he thought, because he really hadn’t acknowledged the jedi during the actual battle.

Again, his mind flashed through scenarios. Firing squad. Prison. Exile. The great jedi himself stabbing blinker with his plasma weapon.

He tried not to shrink back at his own thoughts as they threatened to consume him, before he pushed them away with one pleasant thought, which he gratefully welcomed.

Sparkplug was still there.

Sparkplug would surely still help him, support him, be there for him after everything they had been through together. He tried to push away any negative emotions that came, enjoying this one nice thought.

Blinker snapped back to the current moment as the ship’s engine slowed, signaling they were probably pretty close, if not right next, to the Jedi Cruiser. Blinker’s body swelled with unease as he peered around and let his gaze rest on the doors. They hadn’t spoken the whole way, he realized, because he had been lost in thought. He didn’t move his head to look over at Dodger, but did use his eyes to see the man. Dodger was holding his helmet under his unused arm, a gleam of suspicion in his eyes as he flicked his gaze to Blinker every so often.

He flinched at the mistrust Dodger wasn’t even trying to hide. Was Blinker that bad, to where Dodger couldn’t trust him at all? He recalled when he had stumbled back once thoughts got the better of him, and Dodger had immediately reached for his blaster. Blinker didn’t really feel safe with just him and Dodger in here.. Luckily, though, the pilot was here. He knew the pilot wasn’t paying attention, but if Dodger started something, the pilot would have to ask, right?

He cleared his head of everything as the ship landed in the hangar, using the grip on the top to steady himself. He tried to tell himself he had no reason to be worried, that he wasn’t a prisoner, but that was hard for him to convince himself of. The way Dodger seemed to have one eye glaring at him, the way he was ready to grab out his blaster if Blinker made one wrong move. What if he did accidentally make a wrong move? What if Kenobi didn’t believe him? What if-

“Come on, Blinker.”

He heard Dodger speak, then felt a nudge on his back. The doors to the transport had opened and he hadn’t noticed.

“Yes, sir.”

He murmured back, releasing his clench on the grip up top. He heard his boots click as he walked, then as he jumped from the ship to the ground as well. Dodger motioned for him to follow, and Blinker nodded stiffly in response, following after his commander. His commander who seemed to hate him.

A jolt of realization hit him, almost like a slap in the face. How had he not thought of it before?

Quickshot, the clone he had accidentally killed, was Dodger’s friend!

The clone he had seen Dodger standing with in the barracks, he now recognized they had the same armor pattern. A fresh wave of panic and regret shot through him. If only he hadn’t shot at that droid! If only Quickshot was still alive.. He noticed as Dodger gave a pained and untrustful glance at him, and looked away, glad he had his helmet on.

Blinker watched out of the corner of his eye as Dodger placed his helmet on, adjusting it to have a tight fit around his head. They walked in silence, Blinker following just behind and to the left of Dodger. Brothers were bustling all around them. Some cheering in victory, some standing and chatting, and others heading onto ships to go to the planet’s surface.

In all honesty, Blinker had forgotten completely they had won. He forgot today was a victory for the Grand army of the Republic. He, personally, would classify today as a loss. He had shot a brother, been separated from his friends, and was now heading to what he considered to be his doom.

He let his mind drift back, how could he not have realized the brother he had shot was a close friend of Dodger’s? But that did explain Dodger’s newfound hate. He may not have liked Blinker before, but he sure did now. Blinker could only imagine the thoughts going through Dodger’s head. How much he wanted Blinker to suffer for what he did. Blinker suppressed a shiver, fear tingling down his spine.

He was grateful for Dodger’s self restraint. He was commander for a reason, and this was it. Blinker was still anxious, though, knowing Dodger would try to get Blinker a punishment, while also trying to stay on protocall. It was a tricky balance for him, Blinker was sure of that. And scared of the lengths Dodger may go to.

Dodger was nodding formally as they passed by clones who were watching them, and Blinker copied him like an echo. The men nodded back, maybe wondering where they were headed, but maybe not. Blinker knew he'd be curious at the sight, a commander of theirs, right below Cody in rank, heading determinedly towards where General Kenobi was having a meeting with another jedi, and a clone trailing behind, shoulders slumped and tense. Yep, he knew this was a sight to behold.

Nervous anticipation filled him as they got closer and closer to their destination. They went out of the hangar, into hallways, rounding corners. As they went down a weirdly empty hallway, Blinker could hear nothing except complete silence.
He recognized the next hallway they turned into, and now knew they were going to go past his barracks. His heart pounded, would this be the last time he saw his barracks? He had been on this cruiser for a while now, and wondered if he was going to get transported away.
He stumbled as another new thought raced into his head.

What if he never saw Sparkplug again?

Dodger quickly turned around and stared at him, though now Blinker couldn’t see his expression.

“You alright?”

He grumbled, questioning Blinker. Blinker could hear the suspicion in his voice, and wondered if he was thinking Blinker was trying to cause a distraction before he killed Dodger, too. Blinker nodded, straightening his back and quickly motioning for Dodger to continue.

Dodger glared distrustfully at him for a second, before reluctantly turning his back to Blinker. Blinker dropped his gaze, realizing his hand motion made him seem all the more suspicious, as if he was telling Dodger to turn his back to Blinker so he could jump the man from behind. Blinker groaned lightly, why couldn’t he seem to do anything right? All he wanted was for Dodger to continue leading the way, not seem overly excited at his brother turning around!

He dragged his feet as he walked, fingers tingling in fear.

They walked past his barracks, and he tried to peek in, but the door was shut. He let out a small, inaudible huff of disappointment. But that wasn’t what he was most disappointed about. He was hoping, in the back of his mind, that Sparkplug would be in there, and he could say hi to his closest brother.

Blinker realized he was falling behind and trotted to catch up, noting to himself that falling behind probably made it seem like he was plotting something, when he really was not. The tension between the two clones kept rising as they walked, and silence gripped the air. Now that they were no longer in the hangar, they only saw other clones every minute or so, not that often. Kind of made Blinker feel quite alone, and unsafe with the grieving Dodger.

Finally, after minutes of walking down the corridors, they had made it to the bridge. The entry to the bridge, that is. Blinker inhaled quickly, then tilted his head a little.

“Isn’t the General in a conference?”

He asked Dodger quietly, who answered him with a scowl.

“It took us a while to get here, so he’s out of his meeting.”

Blinker cringed and pulled back a slight bit with a nod of understanding. Blinker watched as Dodger announced his coming in, and got confirmation to enter. Dodger entered first, and Blinker came in right after, trying to convince himself he would be fine. He wasn’t going to get in trouble. Though when he thought back to what had happened, to how he had shot his own flesh and blood, even if it was an accident, he doubted that greatly.

His heart was racing, and he paused for a split second.
The great jedi knight Obi-Wan Kenobi was standing there, back to the clones as he looked at the planet. His heart dropped as the master jedi turned around, and Blinker knew trouble was coming his way.

Chapter Text

Blinker tensed his muscles, shrinking back inwardly as the jedi stared at them. He noticed the main commander, Cody, standing beside the General.

“Yes, Commander, What’s the issue?”

The man spoke, arms crossed, gaze cooly passing over Blinker and Dodger. Blinker didn’t know whether to relax or not, the jedi seemed calm, but he assumed that’s how jedi usually were.

“Could we speak in private, sir?”

Dodger spoke in a formal tone, and Blinker, though he didn’t want this to be happening, found himself hoping he’d say yes. He would prefer for this to be private, rather than every clone officer hearing about this and spreading the word. The word of a traitorous clone.
He desperately willed for the jedi to agree.

Obi-Wan looked curious, and nodded his agreement.

“Alright, let’s head to the conference room. Cody, you come as well.”

General Kenobi mentioned to Cody, who nodded and immediately followed suit as the jedi started to walk off. Dodger nudged Blinker a bit, and Blinker stumbled forwards a tad before immediately walking after the knight. He could understand Dodger’s mistrust, and why he was being so aggressive, but it still didn’t help calm his nerves. As one would guess, it caused his nerves to spike, in fact.

They followed behind the graceful jedi, who seemed to make every movement with a purpose. Blinker had been forcefully shoved in front of Dodger, which made him all the more worried. For all Blinker knew, Dodger had his blaster raised to his back. It was unlikely, though, because they were still passing by clones. Kenobi made his way into the conference room, Cody close behind, then Blinker, and lastly Dodger. Three clones and a jedi circled around a table.

“Alright, what is this about, Dodger?”

The General questioned, recrossing his arms. His gaze had a puzzled expression, though experience and knowledge shadowed right behind his focused curiosity.

Blinker dropped his gaze and tilted his head down as Dodger told their leader what had happened, a bitter edge to his tone. It seemed to Blinker as if all this had happened one minute ago, when he had shot at the droid, the clone had been pushed into his blaster’s way, and stared pain-filled and terrified at Blinker, before falling. Blinker felt all his fears rising back up, what if the great jedi sided with Dodger? What if he was thrown in front of his brothers, to be executed?

What if he was exiled from the Grand army of the Republic, what would he do? Even if Kenobi didn’t side with Dodger, there was sure to be some sort of punishment, if a small one.

Blinker jolted his head up, realizing Dodger had taken his helmet off and was staring at him, eyes blazing. Obi-Wan was looking over at Blinker, eyes sparked with curiosity, and intense worry.

“Well, I will have to look into this, yes..”

The jedi started, shifting his gaze to peer at Dodger. Dodger looked as if he wanted to say something, but sense overcame him and he nodded, then Kenobi continued,

“Could I have a moment alone with Blinker?”

Cody nodded immediately, heading towards the door. Dodger nodded more reluctantly, giving Blinker a pained glare as he passed. Blinker recoiled lightly, he knew the pain was for his lost friend. He turned to look at Obi-Wan, now they were the only two in the room. He felt safe around the jedi, now that he had been around him for a bit. He realized he had forgotten how kind the jedi was, how he was not biased.

“So, it was an accident, yes?”

Kenobi questioned him, arms still crossed. Blinker nodded stiffly, responding,

“Y-yes, sir..”

Blinker stammered, anger at himself building up inside his head. That wasn’t convincing at all! The General wasn’t going to believe him… He was going to be executed!
Then he looked up, and to his relief, he saw pity in the man’s eyes. Blinker hoped that meant he believed him.

“Trooper, I know you’re afraid, but you can trust me. I am your general, after all.”

Obi-Wan spoke gently, and Blinker let out a relieved sigh. He realized Obi-Wan probably knew about Blinker’s condition, and the full extent of it. The jedi was probably informed of what Blinker had done when he had first been deported off Kamino, how he had been so afraid during the training scenarios, how it had been difficult for him to even become a full trooper and not a clone that was just stuck on Kamino to clean. Like 99, poor 99.

“Sorry, yes sir.”

He spoke with more certainty this time, trust flowing slowly into the man’s body. Kenobi nodded, a small smile on his face, which settled down Blinker’s nerves even more. The jedi always seemed to have a peaceful aura around him, Blinker noticed, now that he was paying attention, without as much worry. He felt a lot better now that Dodger wasn’t in the room.

“So, you accidentally shot the clone, right?”

Kenobi started, before continuing to ask if everything Dodger said was true.

“Yes. Yes, that’s what happened.”

Blinker confirmed, voice faltering a bit.
Obi-Wan walked around the table and placed a comforting hand on Blinker’s shoulder.

“I will have to do some more research on the matter, Blinker. Until then, I'm sorry trooper, but you’re going to have to be put in a cell. I’m sure you can understand.”

The general spoke, and Blinker felt his palms start to sweat. He nodded briskly, a slight tingle of fear making its way down his spine. He had told himself that even if the jedi did believe him he would be punished in some small way. He had tried to be prepared. But his nerves still weren’t prepared.

Blinker realized, of course he was going to be punished! In some way, shape, or form, he was going to get the karma Dodger believed he deserved. He admitted it to himself, although it made guilt rise in his throat like a foul bile, he had indeed killed one of his brothers. It was true, he was the one who had made the shot. Even if it was an accident, it was still a fatal mistake.

Kenobi smiled and nodded with a blink, heading towards the door and motioning for Blinker to follow.

Blinker trotted slowly after Obi-Wan, wondering if a couple clones were going to take him to a cell. Probably, he decided. He sincerely hoped, with rising worry, that the clones who escorted him wouldn’t treat him as a criminal. He hoped they would treat him kindly, and that it would all be alright. That they would find him innocent, and he would get to go back to.. Well, he really didn’t want to go back to the life he had been living, but it was better than living life as a criminal.
And he wanted to see Sparkplug.

That was the main reason he wanted to get back to normal life, to see Sparkplug.
Of course, he wanted to see Red as well, but mostly Sparkplug. The man was his best friend, and Red was just his friend.
He trailed after Kenobi, feet dragging against the floor. He was sure he wasn’t going to like what came next, he had a feeling he wouldn’t, and he knew why. Who would like getting put in a cell? He knew he sure wouldn’t.

The door whizzed open, and Obi-Wan stepped out, Blinker following suit close behind. Cody and Dodger were waiting and awkwardly chatting near the door, and turned when the door was opened. Kenobi spoke a few words to them, motioning for Blinker to stay out of ear shot, which Blinker obediently did. He watched as Cody gave a nod, and Dodger gave Blinker a fierce, half-triumphant glare. Blinker internally shuddered, what if Dodger got what he wanted? What if Blinker was killed?

He knew he shouldn’t keep going over these hopeless thoughts, that if nothing else Blinker would be given a fair trial, but he couldn’t help it. It seemed to him that his own mind was his enemy, when it should be solely the droid army, not inside of him. Not within the ranks of the Republic.

But it wasn’t his fault. It was the way he was made. He reminded himself of this over and over again, but it didn’t really make him feel much better. Other clones didn’t feel like this, honestly it just wasn’t fair at all. Other clones were more brave than usual, other tougher than usual, most of them completely normal and a good soldier. It wasn’t fair that his malfunction had to be fear.
He jolted back to what was happening as he saw a couple clones approaching, cuffs in one of their hands.

He tried to swallow back his fear, his brothers were going to put him in handcuffs. He imagined this fear, fear of his own brothers, but a hundred times worse. That’s how Quickshot must have felt right before he died. Blinker closed his eyes for a second, before opening them as one of the clones spoke.

“The general told us not to treat you too harshly.”

The man informed him, and Blinker nodded gratefully but nervously, slowly sticking out his hands. He recoiled slightly as the cuffs were placed around his hands, and the clone who hadn’t spoken made his way behind Blinker. The brother that had spoken grabbed Blinker’s blaster from his holster, and Blinker flinched, hoping they didn’t take the small Loth Cat plush he had at the bottom of his holster. He didn’t seem to see Blinker’s plush, and turned back around. The other man placed his hand on Blinker’s shoulder and shoved him forwards, which Blinker obliged.

Now Blinker was walking past Kenobi, who gave him a nod, and through a door, heading to the brig with one clone behind him and one in front. His heartbeat increased as he felt more and more like a criminal.

They walked closer and closer to the brig in silence, past clones who seemed to think Blinker was a traitor by the glares they gave him, which made Blinker’s heart sink even more. Now, if he did make it out of this, no-one would trust him. He thought about the fact that there was a chance even Sparkplug might not trust him now. The news of a supposedly traitorous brother, in handcuffs, headed to the brig would surely spread like wildfire.

He imagined a blaster pressed against his back as he walked, though he was sure there wasn’t one. He knew his brother just had a hand on his shoulder to guide him, but sometimes his imagination caused him to feel otherwise.
They made their way down a flight of stairs, and Blinker followed after the clone in front of him, eyes locked on the back of his head. They made it down to the bottom of the stairway, and kept on their way.

By the time they had almost reached the brig, he had convinced himself that he was indeed a criminal. That he deserved this.

What if he had killed the clone on purpose, but tried to convince himself otherwise?
He shuddered at the thought, immediately dismissing it. That was impossible. The clone had been pushed in front of his fire! He couldn’t have done it on purpose.

He felt nervous butterflies stirring in his stomach as they came up upon the shielded cell, this would be his home for the next… well, he didn’t know how long. It could be a day, could be weeks, could be months. If it were any longer than a year, he was sure, he would be moved to a prison. Blinker sincerely hoped that didn’t happen, that it would be at most a few weeks.
The clone in front turned, looking down at Blinker’s cuffs. He took a key and unlocked it, taking the handcuffs off of him and directing him into the prison cell, which just had it’s shield door deactivated.

Blinker immediately forced himself to walk into the cell. He didn’t want it to seem as if he were resisting, he didn’t want to cause problems. He wanted to be compliant, to make everyone’s lives easier.
He turned around as he made it to the back of the cell, watching as the shield was reactivated. He nodded to his brothers as they walked off, and they nodded back. He let out a small huff of relief, at least those two didn’t despise him.

He counted all he could that he knew for sure didn’t hate him; Sparkplug, Red, Commander Cody, General Kenobi, the clone that had spoken, and the clone that hadn’t. That made six. Six who believed in him, that he didn’t do it out of spite, or on purpose. Blinker took his helmet off and sat it on the ground, sitting down on the bench at the back of the cell. He crossed his arms and rested them on his legs, which had the soles of his feet resting on the floor.

His chest rose and fell as he thought. He thought about his execution more, what would happen if he were sentenced to life in prison, how other clones would treat him if he was released soon. He now had a bad thought for any outcome, whether he were killed, sent to prison, or released.

There was something for it all.

He reached his hand down and into his blaster holster, tilting his head. Blinker pulled out his small plush and held it around its torso, facing its head towards him. It comforted him to see the plush, and reminded him that Sparkplug and others were there for him. He had friends. Blinker’s eyes sparked with hope as he had an idea. Perhaps Sparkplug would come to see him! He smiled slightly as he thought about Sparkplug coming, showing up at the entrance to his cell, and coming to talk to Blinker. Blinker imagined the man giving him a hug and comforting him, and Blinker would thank him endlessly for sticking around. For being there.

Blinker leaned back against the wall, a short sigh escaping his lips. It was unfair. Why did life seem to be so unfair to him? He had been cursed with this fear and had accidentally shot his own brother. He was sure there was more unfairness to come.

Also, he added to himself, not only had he shot a brother, but it happened to be his commander’s best friend!

He groaned and set his plush down beside him, reaching his hands up to rub his eyes. He didn’t know why fate seemed to have it out for him, and didn’t like it. He presumed anyone in his situation wouldn’t like it. He lowered his hands from his eyes, again resting them on his legs. Yes, this cell was quiet, peaceful, but also boring and lonely. Well, he assumed that was kind of the point. To keep ‘dangerous’ individuals separated and secluded from everyone else. Blinker’s breath faltered at the image that made its way into his head.
The image in his head was this, an image from the eyes of a clone looking at him. Feelings of distrust, disgust, and anger filling the image of this clone. He imagined the clone watching happily as Blinker was executed, and Blinker gasped anxiously, shaking his head to scatter the image. That wouldn’t happen. He’d gain back everyone’s trust, if he had lost it.

He wrapped his fingers around his small Loth Cat’s soft fur, picking it up and holding it close to his chest. Blinker leaned his head back against the wall, slowly closing his eyes. All he could do was hope he would be okay. All he could do was hope that it would all turn out alright. But it was hard.

His mind kept telling him he wouldn’t be okay, that he would be killed, that he would never be looked at the same way again by his brothers. He tried the best he could to clear these thoughts, to think positive thoughts such as that Sparkplug would visit him soon, or that his brothers would forgive him, but those were overshadowed by negativity, and he could do nothing to stop it. Blinker knew that if he had Sparkplug here he’d feel much better. The negative thoughts would be pushed to the back of his mind. But Sparkplug wasn’t here to help, unlike how he usually was after a battle.

Blinker opened his eyes and sat his plush down on the bench, with its paws outstretched and facing towards the cell door. He stood up and crossed his arms, walking to the side of the cell and leaning against the wall. Perhaps that would help.
Blinker tried to think of something to, well, think about. A thought popped into his head as he gazed around the room, and his eyes locked onto his plush. Perhaps he could name his little Loth Cat. He had enough time, for sure.

He stared at it, thinking hard. Was his little cat a male or female?

He stared more. Male, he decided.

Now what about a name? His little creature needed a name. Blinker watched it, names flashing through his head. Merl, Cocoa, Tup, Max, Luca, Tomm, Red… But then the perfect name came to mind.

Sparkplug.

The plush would comfort him even more than it already did, and every time he’d see it, it would remind him of his best friend. His very closest friend.
He smiled and leaned up, walking over to the bench and picking up his plush. He tilted his head to keep his eyes locked on it, a sigh coming out of his mouth. He hoped he’d see the real Sparkplug soon.

Chapter Text

Blinker was locked inside his mind. Inside a dream.
In his dream, he was back on the battlefield, but the fighting had stopped. The droid army had been defeated and now all eyes had been turned on him, clone and jedi alike.
In this dream, Blinker looked around frantically. His breath had quickened, and his heart was pounding in fear. Why were they all staring at him?

“Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.”

One clone started, before everyone else joined in. He gasped and lurched forwards as he felt a hand grabbing onto his arm from behind him. He whipped around, and there was Dodger, whose eyes were glowing red with fury.

“Murderer! You killed him on purpose!”

Dodger yelled in Blinker’s face, which caused Blinker to flinch.

“No! It.. it was an accident!”

He screamed, trying to make his voice heard over the chanting, which was still going, and seemed to be getting louder.
He felt his skin grow hot with terror and betrayal as his eyes rested on one clone who was chanting.

It was Sparkplug.

The chanting grew louder still, until it seemed to overpower him, even though now it was just him and Sparkplug on the battlefield. Blinker watched, eyes stretching wide with panic as Sparkplug lifted a blaster, aiming it at him. Blinker tried to yell. To tell Sparkplug to stop, to beg for forgiveness. But no sound came out.

And when he tried to run, he emitted no movement. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t even make a face. Blinker just had to watch silently as a blaster bolt whizzed through the air and penetrated his chest, a bolt that had come from Sparkplug’s blaster.

Blinker jolted up, gasping for air, sweating and looking around frantically. He let out an unsteady sigh of relief, it was just a bad dream. He was in his cell, which in his opinion, was a lot better than being executed by his best friend. He had been in here for a day now. He closed his eyes and slowly let out a breath, leaning his head against the wall behind the bench.

That won’t happen, he assured himself. There was no way that could happen! Sparkplug would always be his best friend, he was sure of that. He tried to shove away any lingering thoughts he had that Sparkplug would execute him. That would not happen.

He reopened his eyes and pushed himself away from the wall, leaning down to pick up Sparkplug, his little Loth Cat, and placed him on the bench beside him. He rubbed his eyes to get himself more awake, groaning slightly at the fact that this was real. This was happening, unlike the nightmare he had. He lowered his hands from his face and leaned back, looking around. There really was nothing to do.

He decided the best he could do was just rest and wait. Rest, he sighed, and wait.
Wait for something to happen, to hear a punishment that would be given to him, to see if anyone would visit him. Just wait, and try to relax. Try to think happy thoughts, such as the incident being found accidental. That Sparkplug would come visit him. Anything positive, really. But it was hard with the situation. Heck, it was hard for him all the time, and the situation just made it even worse!

Blinker sighed, his thoughts drifting back to the dream he had. He knew all dreams were generally pointless. That meant this one would be too, right? Blinker’s mind told him otherwise. Blinker’s mind told him that this dream would come true, at least some parts of it. His mind told him it was true that Sparkplug would be the one to execute him, and that his closest friend would feel no remorse or sadness at the loss of Blinker.

Blinker let out a stiff exhale, standing. Why was his own mind so unfair? It told him things that were untrue, and when Blinker dismissed them, they only came back, as if his dismissal of thoughts meant nothing. His mind was the thing that caused him to be more afraid, when all the other clones, or at least most of them, were good soldiers. He did not think of himself as a good soldier. He really didn’t think he was.

Blinker, in his boredom, let his mind drift to a scenario. The scenario he created for himself was this; He had been captured, and was being asked for information. The information the Separatists needed, he decided, was such; where is a good entry point on a jedi cruiser that the Sepratist could enter by? He thought about what he would do in the situation.

Blinker thought hard. He didn’t want to tell himself that he wouldn’t give over the information if, really, he would. So it was good to occupy his brain with this.
If he did give over what the Separatists wanted, then perhaps hundreds of clones would die or be taken hostage. They might also be tortured, and even in death Blinker knew he’d hold onto this guilt. But if he didn’t he knew he’d be the one tortured, slowly and painfully, until death. Because, unlike the jedi, the Sith and Separatists showed no mercy.
He made up his mind as to what he’d do with a small smile of accomplishment.
He wouldn’t tell them. Yes, he may be tortured, but he was sure that was better than hundreds of his brothers. Especially Sparkplug.

He couldn’t bear to think of his best friend getting tortured, so he removed the thought, and went back to being proud of himself for his decision. It would be painful, but all he’d have to do would be to think of all the brothers, and perhaps even civilians, he’d be saving.

Now left with nothing more to think about, he closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. In this quiet, he surprisingly succeeded. His mind was cleared and he rested his head again on the back wall. Blinker didn’t even notice as he slowly drifted back to the blackness of sleep. This time, he slept peacefully, with no nightmares or even dreams to interrupt.

He jolted awake, slowly blinking his eyes open, as he heard the shield of his cell deactivating. Blinker yawned and stretched stiffly, leaning up. His vision was still hazy from sleep, so at the moment he didn’t really process what was happening. He watched as a clone stepped in, and seemed to be speaking to him.

Slowly but surely his vision cleared, and he was left with an amazing sight for sore eyes.

Sparkplug had been allowed to visit!

He bolted up with a wide smile, racing forwards to greet Sparkplug. The clones that were guarding him closed the shield and turned around, leaving Sparkplug and Blinker with a moment pretty much alone together. He heard Sparkplug quickly inhale, obviously happy to see Blinker alive and well. Sparkplug opened his arms and Blinker rushed forwards, and they were locked in a brotherly hug. Blinker took in a shaky, happy inhale, and he felt Sparkplug pat his back comfortingly.
Even though it had only been a day, he had missed that. Sparkplug’s presence.

“You doing alright, Blink? What happened after you were taken?”

Sparkplug questioned him worriedly, slowly pushing away from Blinker to look at his face, to which Blinker appreciated the concern. Blinker was also glad to see that Sparkplug had his helmet off, making him feel more secure.

“Yes, yes I’m okay.”

Blinker confirmed with a grateful look at his best friend. Blinker then proceeded to tell Sparkplug all that had happened. They hadn’t told him not to tell, so why shouldn’t he? He told Sparkpug how he had realized the clone he had killed was Dodger, their Commander's friend. The look of shock and horror on Sparkplug’s face was expected, and Blinker continued by telling him how he had been transported up to here and taken to see the General. Blinker told him how Kenobi had been kind, and told the escorts that brought Blinker to the Brig to be kind to him. That seemed to relax Sparkplug a bit more, which in turn relieved Blinker.

Blinker confirmed that the guards were indeed kind to him, and seemed to believe he didn’t shoot his brother on purpose. Blinker finished by telling him that he had named his little plush Sparkplug, which seemed to warm his heart, telling Blinker that was cute. Blinker smiled, he had missed his friend so much.

“I’m so glad you’re alright, Blinker. I’ve been so worried.”

Sparkplug murmured, sadness sparking the corners of his eyes, as if he were thinking about the night before. Blinker smiled,

“Yes, I’m alright. With any luck, I should be out of here soon.”

Blinker assured him, though doubt threatened the edges of his mind. Luck hadn’t really been on their side during the battle, why would it be now? But he had to try to keep positive.

He watched as Sparkplug nodded in agreement, a hopeful look spreading across his face, dissolving the sadness from last night. Blinker wasn’t sure what to say now, so just motioned for another hug, which Sparkplug agreed to. It was good to have someone so kind in your life, Blinker realized, because Sparkplug was a lot of the reason that kept him going. He knew he’d see Sparkplug after every battle, that they’d chat in their barracks for a while, then contently go to sleep, knowing the other would be awake when they awoke.

“Time to leave.”

Blinker heard the voice of a clone from behind Sparkplug, and knew it must have been the guard. He took in a slow breath, squeezed Sparkplug once more, then released him. Sparkplug gave him a reassuring stare, whispering,

“Everything will be alright, Blinker. Just hold on. It’ll be okay.”

Before walking out of the cell. Sparkplug gave him one last hopeful glance before the shield was activated, and Blinker flashed one back, before Sparkplug was led away by one of the guards.

Blinker huffed contently, well, half-contently, before again sitting down. That short visit had reassured him of a few things.

Sparkplug still believed in him, was still his best friend, and believed what he had done was an accident.

And that his dream from last night would never, ever happen.

Sparkplug would never shoot him through the chest, he would never execute him. Never. Of course, Blinker would never, either. Blinker would never raise a blaster to his best friend and shoot. The thought of that happening terrified him. He winced as he remembered something he had completely forgotten. On the battlefield, soon after he had shot Quickshot, he shuddered as he remembered, Sparkplug had approached him. It had scared him and he had raised his blaster to Sparkplug’s head on accident, not realizing who it was until he got a closer look. He remembered the guilt he had felt then, overlapping with the grief that he had killed his own brother.

He had felt immensely terrified, too.

At that moment, he had been one finger pull away from killing his best friend. If he had made one wrong movement, he would be the sole cause of Sparkplug’s death. There would be no way to call it an accident, because it would have been right next to his head. If that had happened, he would be responsible for taking two of his brother’s lives.

Luckily, oh so luckily, that had not happened. He was only responsible for one brother’s death.

He acknowledged, with remorse, that one brother’s death is more than most clones could say. He never thought he would say he killed a brother. No clone thought they would ever say that, he was sure.

Blinker laid down onto the bench with a small huff, picking up his plush and lying it on his chest. It was very boring in the cell, indeed, but at least he had gotten a visit from Sparkplug. That had made the day much better, much better indeed. He didn’t even realize as his eyes dropped closed, and his mind wandered into stranger subjects as he got closer and closer to unconsciousness.

What was in the rations they were given to eat?

What are emotions, and why do people have them?

How did the Kaminoans learn to clone people in the first place, and what made Jango Fett decide to volunteer his DNA?

The more random questions he asked himself, the closer and closer he got to sleep. There was nothing much better to do than sleep, anyways.

Eventually he slipped into unconsciousness, and dreams entered his head, but this time, happy ones.

He dreamt that he and Sparkplug were on Lothal, petting and playing with some Loth Cats in short fields of grass. It calmed him, this was exactly what he hoped the future to be.

Chapter Text

Blinker was surrounded by a comforting darkness, it enfolded him like a soft blanket.

Much better than the chaotic dream he had endured a day ago.

His eyes slowly blinked open, now he had been here for two days. His jaws gaped open into a wide yawn as he leaned up, his hair acting a little frizzy. Blinker didn’t even try to calm the loose hairs, he’d need a comb for that, which he didn’t have. So his hair had to look crazy.

Blinker, again, leaned over and picked up Sparkplug. He looked into the eyes of the small cat for a second, before setting it down beside him.
Blinker stood up with a stiff huff, sleeping on a rock-hard bed was bound to get to him eventually. Along with sleeping with armor on, which he had removed the top half of, leaving the bottom half on. This left him with a black suit on top, and armor over his legs, including his blaster holster, which was very important to store his plush.

It was very boring indeed, being here. Not much ever happened. But it was better than being in a battle. He shivered. Yes, this cell was much better than a battlefield.

After a few minutes of doing pretty much nothing, a couple clones appeared at the door to his cell. They had decided Blinker wasn’t enough trouble to station guards there, so now he was alone most of the time. Which some would see as good, but he saw it as bad. Now he didn’t have anyone there with him. He quickly reached over, to the bench, and grabbed Sparkplug, stuffing him into the bottom of his blaster holster.

He stood as the clones unlocked his cell and deactivated the door, then walked towards them as they motioned for him to come over.
They pulled out some cuffs and he quickly, but hesitantly, raised his hands up. He winced as they were clicked on, and now he wasn’t able to separate his hands. A soldier maneuvered behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder, firmly pressing him forwards, but not being too rough. His breath was quickening. Where were they going? He took a sharp inhale in, before asking,

“Where- Where are we going?”

He looked back for a split second, to look at the front of the helmet of the clone behind him.

“Shower, I’m sure you’ll need it.”

The trooper he was looking at responded, and he let out a small sigh of relief. It was nothing bad, thank goodness. And he’d get to fix his hair, which he was sure didn’t look great. No, he was sure his hair looked awful.

The troopers led him down a couple halls, turned a couple corners, until they reached the bathroom. Blinker was excited to take his shower, honestly. He was going to feel very refreshed.

He raised up his hand and watched as one trooper released the cuffs from him, and he rubbed his wrists slightly. Obviously they stayed outside as he took his shower.
Once he was out of the shower, dried, and redressed, he had armor on his legs and the top of him with just the black suit, he did his hair. He took a comb and made his hair stand into its usual position, spraying it a couple times. Once he had achieved the look he wanted, he smiled to himself. Feeling nice really did help with his mood.

He pushed the door open and saw, to no surprise, the guards waiting outside the door for him. He sadly raised his hands again and watched as the handcuffs were clamped onto his wrists again. One trooper gave him a sympathetic look, or at least Blinker thought he did from under the helmet,

“You seem nice enough, brother. I wish we didn’t have to put the cuffs on you, but we gotta obey protocol.”

He spoke, and the other nodded in agreement. Blinker flashed a small smile at them,

“Thank you, I mean that. Sometimes it feels like everyone’s against me, so it’s good to see that’s not the case.”

Blinker spoke with a nod of understanding. He knew his brothers didn’t like to cuff him, but as they said, it was their job. The clones turned and started heading back towards his cell, Blinker in the middle of both of them as usual. They headed back down the halls again, towards his cell again.

Suddenly the alarm on the ship started blaring, a familiar wail of Whoom! Whoom! Whoom! Going off as lights flashed. Blinker looked around, eyes wide as he felt his heart were about to explode with fear. What was happening? Was someone on the ship?
His escorts looked around frantically, obviously trying to figure something out. The one in front drew in a sharp wave of air, before turning around to face Blinker, key in his hand.
He quickly unlocked Blinker’s cuffs, and the clone behind Blinker did nothing to stop him.

“Obviously someone’s attacking the ship. I trust you enough to be here if you’re needed. Get the rest of your armor on,”

The trooper paused to hand Blinker his blaster, which Blinker took, breath coming in short gasps.

“Here’s your blaster. Stay here, by the steps up to the main level, unless you feel we need help. I won’t put a good soldier in a cell when we’re under attack.”

The two guards exchanged a glance, before nodding trustfully and racing off, their blasters at hand. Blinker was back in battle yet again, even though he was technically still a prisoner. There was no time to dawdle around, he had to get the rest of his armor on.
Blinker forced himself to start running, running towards his cell. One right turn and his cell was there. Blinker pressed the button right beside the door to deactivate the shield, and raced in, hoping the cell wouldn't close.

He moved as quickly as he could, snapping his armor into place and sliding his arms into position. After a couple minutes, he was fully suited up, and slipping his helmet on. He couldn’t tell if it felt good or bad to be going into battle again. No, he was sure, it felt bad.

But one thought consumed him now.

Sparkplug was on the ship. Fighting. And Blinker wasn’t.
Blinker was used to being able to keep an eye out for Sparkplug, to ask if he was doing okay whenever he saw him. And as of now, he could not do that. He was here, pretty much relaxing compared to what Sparkplug was going through. Though he did know Sparkplug was never as scared as he was, all troopers felt some sort of fear at one point, even if it wasn’t as bad as Blinker did. He let out a stiff breath as he walked out of his cell, not being too fast.

Blinker felt guilt wash over him, as if he had been dunked into water. He was so worried for Sparkplug, he was so very worried, but he was the opposite of brave. He didn’t wanna rush in. He told himself it was just because his guards had told him to wait down here, he told himself it was just that reason alone.

He didn’t want to admit to himself he was too afraid. He knew he was too afraid, but he really never liked to admit it to himself. It was just unfair.

So he stood, slowly inching himself towards the stairs. The closer he got, the more yelling and blaster fire he could hear. Even though the last battle he had been in was only two days ago, he still winced at every scream of pain he heard. It always happened. He could never get used to seeing, or even hearing, so much death and pain.
He didn’t think anyone could get used to that.

Eventually he had inched his way over to the steps. He heard the firing of blasters even clearer now, and felt himself about to let his imagination get the better of him, so he quickly shook himself to bring his consciousness fully back. Blinker looked up the stairs, but there were two flights which turned halfway through, so he couldn’t see all the way up to what was happening.
He grimaced as he heard a loud thud and yells, stumbling backwards as he saw a clone tumbling down the first flight of steps, helmet flung off.

His breath was coming in wheezes as he saw the clone’s bloodied and bruised face, which had closed eyes. Blinker forced his blaster into the holster over top of Sparkplug, and raced up, almost stumbling, towards the man.

Blinker had no idea if he was alive or not, and reached down to check. His pulse was not there. The clone was dead.
Blinker stood and looked up the flight of stairs, for the first time realizing there was no blaster fire. Barely any noise. All he could hear was just..

His heart skipped a beat as his legs weakened and he fell to the ground, scrambling back to lean against a wall, panicked.

Just the sound of droid feet marching against the ship’s ground.

The Republic had lost, and Blinker was sure all who had remained had already left on escape pods, with no way to get down here to help him. Blinker paid no attention to anything that would happen around him, fear made sure of that. Was Sparkplug okay? How many clones had survived? How would he get out of here? Would he be tortured? Would he be killed on the spot?

Blinker felt his heart racing. He had a million questions, of which he knew none would be answered. Who was there to answer them? He could be the only clone left on the ship, for all he knew. He probably was.
His eyes lazily drifted to the dead clone, and his vision was rather blurry.

The only alive clone, anyways.

His mind snapped back into focus and his heart hurt from how hard it was pounding as he heard clanking coming closer and closer down the steps. Blinker let out a small yelp of terror as he quickly stood,almost falling over from shaky legs as he stumbled down the steps, almost falling at the last one. He half-ran, half-tumbled, down the corridor of cells. He knew where the escape pods were, and knew due to common sense and knowledge that they were nowhere near the brig. Why put an escape pod right where a ‘criminal’ could easily reach it if they escaped? Plus, if the rest of the crew had escaped, there would be none left, anyways.

Blinker had stopped thinking of himself as a criminal, and physically fell as the memory of shooting a brother rushed back to him. He stayed down, fear telling him to both get up and stay down. If he ran, he had a bigger chance of getting shot. If he stayed down, he had a bigger chance of getting captured.

Blinker, feeling as if he were about to start crying, which he considered pitiful, stood and again started running. Blinker turned a corner and ran. Perhaps he could contact someone for help! If he found a com, that is. If he could make his way to the communications room. He had to hope he could.

Blinker knew there was a second set of stairs this way, and could only hope this side wasn’t completely blocked off, unlike the first set of stairs. He paused at the edge of the turn to the steps, listening closely. Did it sound like there were any droids at the top of the steps?

His heart sank. Yes, it did.

But only a couple, he assumed, since the sound wasn’t very loud, and also since there seemed to be only a couple of clankings on the floor.

He drew in a breath, closing his eyes for a second as he waited for the rush of fright to dwindle a bit, which it begrudgingly did. Blinker then quickly forced his legs to move, moving up the stairs, each step an internal struggle. He wanted to run. To head back to his cell, curl up, and pretend as if this wasn’t happening. But he couldn’t.

He had to do this. For himself. For any clones that happened to be alive. For Sparkplug, so that he wouldn’t start feeling as if Blinker’s own death were his fault.

His heart was racing so quickly, it felt as if it were about to pound out of his chest. But he had to keep going.

He pulled out his blaster halfway up the stairwell, now staring up at the entryway door. He didn’t let himself hesitate for too long, and dashed up the rest of the stairs. His fingertips felt numb with dread as he made his way to the top, moving himself through the door.

He found himself face-to-face with a couple battle droids, who were standing there, just talking. He did find himself wondering why the droids were so expressive, if they were just programmed.

“Gah! Clone! Blast him!”

One stuttered out, looking at the other frantically. Before either of them could move or make too much noise, Blinker shot both of their heads, rushing off as their metallic bodies hit the floor. That was sure to draw some attention, and Blinker didn’t want to be there when someone checked it out.
Blinker was panting in fear, ignoring all his instincts that told him to turn tail and run. He had to do this, he kept reminding himself of that.

Now that he was on the main level, there would be droids everywhere. He would have to be even more cautious than he was before. Taking a swift inhale in, he leaned down and kept making his way through the ship.

Two steps forward, one step back. That’s how it felt.

For every second corner or intersection he came across, he’d have to retrace his steps and find a different way to get to where he needed to go, due to the droids being there.

Every time he saw droids, he was so scared they were going to see him. But they never did. He was able to either wait them out or find another way around. He had let out an audible gasp several times and backed up as he saw clones lying dead on the floor. He was used to either retreating before he could see them, or watching as they got buried honorably. Not just lying there, growing colder. But Blinker didn’t have time to sit and stare. He had to hope their bodies would be honored, and go on.

It was probably a solid thirty minutes to an hour later when he actually made it to the communications room. Well, the door to it, at least.

He was crouched down in front of the door, hidden just enough by a wall. Blinker watched silently as a patrol of droids passed by the door, feeling cold with terror, as if he were gripped by icy talons. Once the droids were long gone and out of sight, he passed a glance down both ways of the hall, took a breath in, and dashed for the door.
It whizzed open as he approached it, and he quickly made himself scarce from the hallway, entering the room.

The door closed behind him, and he peeked around the room nervously, before standing with a small relieved sigh as he saw no-one was there. But there was no time to celebrate.

Blinker locked the door, turning and rushing over to the control panels. He looked around frantically, wondering which buttons to press. He estimated best he could, moving his hands around from one to the other.

With the right amount of fiddling, he had done it. He had opened a com channel. Again, no time to celebrate.

He held down a button, slightly panting as he spoke,

“To anyone hearing this, this is CT - 3498 of the Elegant, calling for help. Our vessel has been boarded and captured, and I may be the only one left alive on this vessel. The rest of the ship might have evacuated, leaving no escape pods,”

He paused, there may well be an escape pod, but he wasn’t sure. Then he continued, adding,

“At least I assume. If you are hearing this, please help me.”

Blinker finished, hoping the recording would get out to someone who could help. He had no chance of survival alone, he knew. He pressed another button to send the message out as a pulse to anyone nearby, and not just on the com channel.

Slowly, he turned around and sank down, resting his head on the side of the control console. He brought his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. It would only be a matter of time before he was found, and honestly, he didn’t know if he even wanted to fight the clankers or not.

A shaky breath exited his lips, why didn’t life seem to give him a break? He had killed a brother, which still made him nervous to use a blaster around any clone, Sparkplug could be killed for all he knew, which made his heart feel as if it were going to break, and now he was alone on a captured Jedi Cruiser.

Life was already difficult, but now it was worse.

Chapter Text

Blinker brought his head up, and lowered it onto his knees, closing his eyes and trying to just think happy thoughts. He would be found by the Republic, Sparkplug would be there to greet him, and he wouldn’t be judged too harshly for the accident he had caused. But he knew that wouldn’t happen.

He would be found here by the droids and captured. They would probably torture him, and in the end he’d die. Sparkplug was probably already dead. And, if he did live, he would most likely be punished for shooting a brother.

He scrunched his eyes tighter, blocking light from entering them even further. He let out a terrified and shocked gasp as he heard banging on the door, and curled himself up tighter. If he tried to fight the droids, that would only result in his death. And, he hated to admit to himself, he wasn’t ready for that. Even though he knew if he didn’t die honorably now, he’d die a prisoner later, that still couldn’t seem to convince his mind.

He flinched again as another bang sounded at the door, keeping his eyes closed. He knew that when the droids came in he would look pitiful, but he really didn’t care what those scraps of metal thought.

Blinker’s eyes shot open, and his head up, at the next sound, though.

An ominous beeping. Beep, beep, beep, beep, getting all the more rapid.

He knew what that was and shot up, turning and rushing to the back of the room. It was a bomb. The Separatists were planning on bombing the door open. His breath was coming in short, quick gasps as he ran towards the back wall. He tried to keep himself quiet as the bomb went off and a loud BANG echoed in the room, almost making his ears ring. If it weren’t for his helmet, he wouldn’t be able to hear almost at all.

Blinker crouched down behind a console and covered his head, closing his eyes tightly. Luckily the door only fell down, it didn’t fly out towards him, or the console he was huddled behind him.

Blinker knew he should feel shame at the fear he was feeling, at how he was huddled here, but he didn’t. It was his reaction to what was happening, and he couldn’t help that. He heard droid feet against the floor as they filed in, there seemed to be quite a few.

“So they’re in here, huh?”

He heard one droid’s annoying voice question another. So they think there’s more than just me, he noticed. They were over prepared and looking for more than just him, then.

“Yeah! Why else would the door be locked?”

The one being questioned answered, and he couldn’t help but feeling slightly amused at the next response,

“Maybe to keep us out?”

He noticed the clanker ignore it’s companion, and heard metal feet start to circle the room. His previous amusement dissolved as he remembered these droids were killers.

He had to think of something. He may not be brave, but suddenly, he didn’t want to be captured. Blinker sat, trying to think quickly. What could he do? If he fought them he’d be killed, if he made a dash for it he’d be captured, and there seemed to be nothing around.

Blinker looked around the room frantically, and his heart seemed to flutter at a beautiful sight. It was nothing special, but it would truly help him.

A vent.

He let out a small, inaudible sigh of relief. If he could distract the droids away from the vent for long enough, he could climb into it and hide out up there. He already knew he would hop onto the console, remove the grid, hoist himself in with one hand, and replace the grid.
He had to replace the grid, or he’d be found for sure.

Now that he knew where to escape to, he didn’t have much time to figure out the distraction he was going to use. Blinker quickly turned around, still crouching, towards the console he was hiding behind. An idea had popped into his head, and he was going to take it.

If he found the button to set off the alarm, surely that would distract the invading droids long enough for him to make a dash for the vent. He lifted himself up enough just to see the buttons, but also stay out of sight. He searched the buttons frantically, searching for the right one.

Aha!

His gaze locked onto the red button, and he lifted his arm, smashing his hand into it. The
Whoom! Whoom! Whoom! Started again, along with the not so subtle flashing of red lights.

“Aah! What’s going on?”

One droid asked, sounding confused and startled.

“I dunno! Did we set it off?”

Another asked a different question, and the metallic figures went on, sounding confused and unfocused. Blinker didn’t have time to laugh at their confusion, he quickly jumped into action.

He was lucky he had gloves on, because his hands were very sweaty, and wouldn’t be able to grip anything otherwise. He dashed for the vent, leaped onto the vent, and started trying to tug the grid off. After a couple of yanks, he almost stumbled back as it came off.

Adrenaline rushed through him as everything went into hyperdrive. He was panting as he leapt into the vent, scrambling in, and carrying the grid in one hand. It clicked back into place as he scrambled in, and he brought the hand he had been using to carry it back to his front, trying to steady himself.

Blinker was shaking a lot, gasping for air. He was safe, he hoped. Blinker took a second to calm himself, to wait for his adrenaline to subside. By the time he had calmed himself down enough to squeeze himself into turning around, he was still shaking, breath unsteady, and palms sweaty.

His breath quivered as he looked down through the grid, the droids seemed panicked still, and confused.

“But they were in here! Where else could they have gone?”

“I don’t know! Who’s gonna tell the commander?”

“Not me! He’ll be angry.”

“Well I’m not telling him either!”

“I said I wasn’t before you did!”

Blinker let out a shaky breath, strangely amused at the tin can’s bickering, though their king had killed thousands, if not millions, of his brothers. He closed his eyes as his amusement was washed away by a fresh wave of guilt. He had killed one of his brothers, too.

What if he was as bad as one of these droids?

He was slowly edging from shaking to still, and was starting to relax. As much as he could in the situation, anyways. Which wasn’t a lot. But as that thought crept into his mind, his muscles stiffened.

No! He wasn’t like the droids. He could think for himself, and didn’t kill his brother on purpose. He knew he wasn’t as bad as one of them. He filled his mouth with air, before breathing it back out and squeezing himself around again. He started to crawl forwards, he didn’t know where he was going, he just wanted to get away from the communications room.

Blinker’s eyes adjusted to the darker shade of the vent. Not much to see, though. Light gray walls, floor, and roof. A couple grids on the ground, leading into rooms, which he ignored. He was trying to get somewhere where he felt safe. Blinker didn’t know where that was, but he hoped he’d find it somewhere.

He kept crawling, hoping his armor clinking against the tight walls wouldn’t be too loud. He sucked in a breath, determinedly and nervously heading on. He couldn’t believe he was so close to being caught…

No, he couldn’t let dark thoughts consume him. Not until he had found a somewhat safe spot, at least.

He moved his arms and legs in sync as he kept on, until finally, he decided this would be a safe place to stop. He had just recently passed by a grid on the floor, so he knew the next entryway would be quite a few feet away. He plopped down, letting out a huff as he did so, stretching out his arms and legs. He wouldn’t be able to sit up straight anyways, so what would be the point of trying to sit?

He closed his eyes, worries coming back now that he was in a relatively safe zone. If the droid’s commander was also a droid, he should be safe here. Plus, if the droids thought there was more than just him, they would probably think the vents weren’t enough space for all of them.

But what if they did suspect the vents? What if they gassed the vents? What if they smoked him out, and captured him? He groaned, letting his head rest down onto his arms, which were stretched out.

His life had already felt difficult, but now? He had no jedi to lead him or make decisions, no friends to support him, and in fact, no brothers with him at all. He was alone. Honestly, he was surprised he was still here. He was surprised he had come up with a plan, and that it worked. Blinker didn’t know if he was going to make it from here, but was proud of himself for what he had made it through so far.

He imagined Sparkplug encouraging him, being proud of him that he had made it so far, and cheering him on. Blinker had to trust that this is what Sparkplug would say, and keep trying to survive until the next day, so that he would be able to see his best friend again. He tried to keep all thoughts positive, and it was no surprise that it was hard.

Blinker had to find hope, such as believing Sparkplug was alive. An idea hit him, and he liked the idea, so he reopened his eyes and maneuvered his hand down towards his blaster holster.

He felt his blaster and removed it, setting it down beside him, and again reaching into his holster. He smiled a small smile to himself, feeling his small plush. He yanked it out of the bottom, pulling it out and setting it in front of him, placing his blaster back in the hole.

He reached his hand back up and placed it onto Sparkplug, comforted. Blinker wondered why he had never named his plush before, especially naming it Sparkplug. It made him feel so much better, especially now, since Sparkplug wasn’t here.

Blinker pulled it closer, closing his eyes and leaning his head down onto his now folded arms, which were wrapped around his little Loth Cat. He had to tell himself that things were going to get better. He’d escaped the clankers, hadn’t he?

His mind wandered off as he slowly drifted into a light sleep. There wasn’t much he could do now, and all the escape pods were probably gone. He’d check when he awoke.

Besides, he wanted to feel happy for as long as he could.
His chest rose and fell as his breathing steadied, and his mind was converted into a dream.

The dream was set in a field, and it was a more random dream. Him and Sparkplug were there, along with the plush Sparkplug, but it was a giant, living Loth Cat. Needless to say, it was a very strange dream. And yet, since Sparkplug was there, he felt comforted.

He felt safe.

Chapter Text

Blinker groaned and lazily blinked his eyes open, stretching and yawning as he tried to sit up, before letting out a startled gasp as he hit his head on the roof. He woke mostly fully as he remembered what had happened, and that he was now in the air vents on a now-Separatist controlled jedi cruiser.

He huffed and lowered himself back fully down. He shook his head to wake himself up. What was he to do? He thought about going back to sleep, but decided against it, he had already gotten enough sleep, and his nerves were starting to awaken again. Which meant he felt safer being awake. If he was asleep, he wouldn’t have time to run if someone found him up here.

Thinking back, how had he gone to sleep in the circumstance he was in? Blinker had somehow fallen asleep, in a vent, on the run from Separatists that were probably moving around below him. He shivered as he recalled the circumstance, starting to crawl forwards again. He didn’t want to be caught, and the longer he remained in one place, the more chance of that happening there was.

Blinker placed Sparkplug back into his holster, he couldn’t lose his little plush. He just couldn’t. He made sure to place his blaster back over it, he couldn’t lose that, either.

He let out a stiff breath as he made his way through the tight tunnels, pausing for a second to look down through a grid. Nothing, just armor and weapons. Must be the armory. He knew where he was, now. Almost at the Escape Pod port. He decided he better give it a look, just see if there were any.

If there were, he knew he’d feel like a right idiot. And at the same time, he’d feel so relieved. If they had escape pods, and someone from the Republic got his call for help, he’d be able to release himself from the Elegant, get taken up to safety, and…

He paused his thought. Once he was found, he would still be punished for what he had done. And they might even think he was a traitor, and had caused this attack on the ship. He closed his eyes for a split second, before moving on, towards the escape pods. His heart was racing in fear, as he tried to keep all thoughts that he would surely still be punished for what he had done after all of this was over.

Blinker thought, surely he had already been punished enough? He had been forced to make decisions he otherwise would have had nightmares about happening. Such as having to decide not to check on any of the fallen clones, for his own survival.

He loved living, being with his brothers, etcetera, but only when all that stuff was there. And Sparkplug. Why was he even here if Sparkplug wasn’t here? He had to cling on, with all his being, to the hope that Sparkplug was still alive. Otherwise, what was the point of pushing on?

He winced as he made a particularly loud sound against his metal surroundings Blinker stopped and lowered himself as much as possible, knowing full well that it would do nothing, but deciding to go with his instinct of dropping down anyways. He looked over his shoulder, and saw nothing but the light gray of the vent. Turning his head back to the font, he again saw nothing.

He breathed a short sigh of relief. Either no-one heard, or they were watching him as he made a fool of himself, thinking he could escape. Was there really a chance of him escaping? Blinker told himself that there was a good chance of making it out, that someone could come to help. But he couldn’t believe what he was trying to tell himself. Why would anyone come to help him?

They might think that this is a good punishment for him, captured, tortured, and killed by the Seppies. They might think he deserved that, he deserved to have this done to him, but he couldn’t accept that. Maybe Sparkplug would get his message, and come to the rescue. But what if Sparkplug was already dead?

He let his eyelids drop for a second as he took a deep inhale in, trying to clear his mind. Once he got to the escape pods, he knew he’d either feel a whole lot better, or a whole lot worse. Hopefully a whole lot better, but there was a larger chance that all the escape pods were gone.

Reopening his eyes, he made his way through the vents, armor clinking on the walls and floor. It felt to him as if the walls were closing in on him the more he went, squeezing him more and more. Of course, the walls weren’t actually moving, but it did feel as if they were. Blinker was panting in worry, and fear, as he edged himself closer and closer.
Blinker made sure to look down through the grids as he passed over top of and beside them. He needed to confirm to himself that he was going the right way, he doubted his abilities greatly. He needed to keep making sure he knew exactly where he was going, and didn’t get lost. Which, he knew he wouldn’t get lost, he had been on this cruiser for a while, but he still didn’t trust himself. That was normal, though.

He paused to look down through the vent grid, seeing where he was. He recognized the room, and knew the pods were right next to this room. Blinker winced as he saw a couple droids enter the room beneath him, chatting as if they were carefree.

“So this is what a jedi cruiser looks like, without all the enemies?”

“I guess so!”

“Woah, I can see why they use it.”

“It’s not that great, our ships are better.”

What do you mean, this ship is great!”

Blinker watched as one hit the other over the head. He had decided to take a break to listen to the droids. Though they were terrible, and killers, the droids were programmed strangely funny.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“What? You sounded like you like the Republic!”

“No way!”

“Good, because then I’d have to turn you in for re-programming.”

“Whew! No way!”

Blinker then began to ignore the droid’s chatter, crawling as quietly as he could over the vent. He wished he could just hop down into the room beneath him to head to the escape pods, but the droids there prohibited him from doing that. So he needed to find another close vent.

He made his way through them, and found another vent entryway, but this one was on the side, not the floor. He crawled towards it, taking a peek through the grid. To his relief, he saw nothing there. It was time to leave the vents, after what felt like days of being in them.

Blinker slowly removed the grid, slowly sticking his head out and looking around. Down, up, forwards, and both sides. He had to make sure there were absolutely no droids, or Separatists in general, there. He turned around and slid down, closing his mouth swiftly as he realized he hadn’t prepared himself for the large fall.

He let out an,

“Umph!”

as he hit the floor, his armor and the grid making a loud clinking sound against the ground. His stomach dropped in dread, and he tried to quickly leap up. His legs were tingling a little bit, but he was able to ignore that as he placed the grid back to where he had taken it from. He was gasping for air as he made his way into a crouch, preparing himself for droids to burst in the door.

But they didn’t.

He thought that maybe the droids were stationed outside, that they were just waiting for Blinker to come out so they could shoot him. But he had to try.

Blinker lifted himself from his crouch, not allowing his mind time to drift. His heart was pounding, and he felt as if that alone would attract the Seppie’s attention, with how loud it sounded in his ears. That definitely wasn’t normal. And that made him even more afraid, which caused his heart to beat louder.

Blinker raced over to the door, almost feeling as if his actions were not his own. But, unlike when he would let his body go on auto-pilot during a battle, he didn’t let his mind drift. He was doing everything himself, his vision was just blurry, and he felt slightly lightheaded. He watched as the door slid open, and inhaled sharply as he saw droids.

“Gah! What the-?”

Blinker quickly whipped out his blaster and shot the head off the one that had spoken, cutting it off mid-sentence,

“C-clone!”

The other exclaimed, but before it could do anything, he shot the head off that one as well. Blinker raced off towards the escape pods, and before the second one had even hit the ground, he had turned the corner towards the pods.

Blinker felt light-headed with fear as he ran, and his heart felt light as he saw something wonderful.

An escape pod.

There was an escape pod! Well, there were a couple still there, not just one, but that was all the better!

His breath was coming in short huffs as his legs moved quickly to the pods. He had to get in one. And fast. Blinker was sure the Seppies had heard the blasts, and the sound of the droids falling to the floor. They may have heard him falling from the vent, too. So he had to hurry.

Blinker ran over to the door to one of the pods, pressing the button beside the large door to open it, and made his way inside the pod. So far, so good.

Walking at a brisk pace towards the front of the pod, he quickly pressed a button to re-shut the door. Blinker allowed himself a brief moment of relief and victory, breathing out a sigh, before opening his eyes again. He sat and began to start up the pod, frantically pressing the correct buttons.

Blinker took hold of a lever and moved it forwards, then lurched back a bit as the pod detached itself from the Elegant. He expected his fear to dissolve, but it didn’t. He glared out into the vast expanse of space, and realized why.

Though he may be away from the cruiser, he was not safe. The Seppies could shoot at him and destroy his pod. Even if they didn’t destroy his pod, the Republic may not find him, and he could starve to death. The Separatists could also capture his pod again and take him, as he couldn’t get too far away from the cruiser, so that if the GAR did come, they’d be able to find him. Even if the Republic did find him, he was sure he would still be punished, even though he had already been through this.

Blinker groaned and leaned back into the chair, removing his helmet and letting it drop onto the floor with a thud. He lifted his hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes, sinking down. Life was unfair. So, so unfair.

He couldn’t get all the awful thoughts to go away. Now that there was no sound, nothing to distract him, his mind seemed overwhelming. Too much for him. His own mind threatened to overtake him. His own mind was the enemy.

So he had to twist his mind to think of good. His thoughts were focused on how he would be punished when he got back to the Republic, so he warped his thoughts. He warped it into the thought that when he got back, he would see his brothers again, and hopefully Sparkplug. The General would show him mercy, along with the senate.

It took a lot of energy out of Blinker to think positively. For most, it was probably easy, but not for him. He knew this, though. He really wasn’t surprised how much it drained him. Not much of a shocker.

His lips perked as he let out a breath, cheeks expanding. He placed his hands behind his head and leaned back, gazing into the vast expanse of space. His eyes flitted from one tiny speck in the blackness to another. Each of them were stars, burning balls of gas and fire.

Blinker groaned in frustration, why didn’t his brain allow him a brief moment of victory? He would never know why it was him who had been made this way. Why hadn’t he been programmed normally? It was so unfair.

He should be brave. He should be willing to lose his life for the GAR. He shouldn’t be… weak.

He kept studying the black expanse,

“But It’s how I am.”

Blinker muttered to himself, lifting his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

Chapter Text

Blinker stared out into the void of space for a while, aware of the pang of hunger in his stomach. He realized it had been about a day or two since he had eaten, and he had been saving his ration bar for when he was truly hungry. He figured he could wait a while more.

Blinker let his head rest back onto the top of the seat, and he stared up at the ceiling. Not interesting, but the outside had become boring as well. Blinker let out a soft groan of boredom, taking out his blaster and setting it on the ground of the pod, before reaching back in and lifting Sparkplug out.

He gazed at it, letting a breath escape him. He realized how much he did this, just look at his little plush. It was comforting. The little cat had been with him since he was a cadet, and it reminded him a lot of the kind Jedi, and now, Sparkplug too. Shela Myks was the woman’s name, he recalled. She had been kind to him. And he hadn’t seen her again.

Would he ever see her again? If he did, would she remember him? He sighed and lowered his plush, probably not. She had seen so many clones, he knew, there wasn’t much special about him. Blinker let his muscles relax slightly as his mind drifted off, into a memory.

-

Blinker was sat on his bed, hugging up to his legs. He knew he was safe now, but his heart wouldn’t stop pounding. He didn’t know why, or why the other cadets didn’t seem to be like him.

They all seemed so brave, and relaxed. But he wasn’t! Blinker looked around at them, all chatting cooly. Blinker stretched out his legs and allowed them to dangle over the side of his bed, noticing the others did the same.

He took an inhale in and tried to join in the conversation, only half-succeeding. He added in a word every once in a while, but it wasn’t much. It wasn’t much at all, and only a few seemed to

Blinker ended up sitting and just listening to the conversation again, not adding anything. To him, it almost felt as if he didn’t fit in. Even though he was supposed to be a clone, someone who exactly fit in with the rest. But he didn’t, and he didn’t quite know why. Blinker sighed and leaned back onto his retractable bed, lifting his legs up onto it, so that he was stretched out.

He stared at the ceiling of his little sleeping pod, eyes completely blank. Blinker was scared of what the future may hold, knowing what he had been told during training so far. And, seeing the adults running around in that armor… He shivered.

“Hey, Blinker. You doin alright?”

Blinker lifted his head up to look at a brother as he spoke, and immediately recognized Sparkplug. Sparkplug was his closest friend, though obviously preferred to talk with anyone else. Blinker did think he cared for him, though.

“Um, yeah. I’m okay.”

Blinker lied, trying to set his friend’s worries to rest. He didn’t want Sparkplug to worry about him. Sparkplug nodded and patted his shoulder comfortingly, before dropping back down to his bed. Blinker let out a huff of slow breath, why did he feel the need to keep his fear secret?

He was sure he wasn’t doing a good job of it, either.

Blinker jerked his head up as he heard approaching footsteps, and his heart lifted. It was a kind Jedi, who came to check in on him every once in a while. He sat up and swung his legs over his bed, opposite to the others who had theirs over the edges of their beds.

Shela Myks, which was her name, approached him from the side of his bed and he smiled a small smile at her. She was nice to him, and seemed to recognize his difference from the other clones. Blinker tilted his head as he saw something in her hand, it didn’t look like her lightsaber.. Or a blaster…

“Blinker, I have something for you.”

The Togruta spoke gently, and Blinker wondered what it was. Surprisingly to him, his mind didn’t flicker to something bad. He guessed his brain knew Shela was kind, and gentle to him.

“What is it?”

Blinker asked questioningly, an interested edge to his tone. The Jedi smiled and lifted up something small, cute, and fluffy. He didn’t know what it was, but it was an animal, and he was very interested in animals. It looked very cute!

“This is for you. I know you like animals, and perhaps this might help with your..”

She paused, handing him the little plush, which he immediately took and gazed at happily.

“Condition.”

She finished, and Blinker nodded. He loved it!

“It’s a Loth Cat, they’re from Lothal. Lots of people have them as pets. Maybe one day you’ll go to Lothal and see one.”

Blinker nodded vigorously, leaning his plush up to his chest and hugging it.

“Thank you, General Myks!”

He exclaimed excitedly and thankfully. He loved his plush so, so much, and already knew it would help him. He knew in the future, this would help him so much. He couldn’t thank the kind Togruta enough.

-

Blinker shook his head, clearing his mind of the memory, but allowed the feeling of happiness to linger. He knew he was afraid when he was a child, but if he could go back now, he would enjoy it while it lasted. Because adulthood, he shivered, recalling all the battles he had endured, was a lot worse.

Blinker groaned slightly as his stomach panged with hunger, and he realized now that it had been a while, he was very hungry. Time to eat some of his ration bar.

He pulled out his ration bar, and his stomach rumbled again. He was starving, and he hadn’t even noticed, though it had been days. He had spent almost a day in the vents, with no food, and even before then it had almost been dinner time in his cell when the droid attack had hit.

Blinker unpackaged his bar, taking a quick bite from it. He knew he should savor every bite, but it was just so good! He usually didn’t really like them, but this time eating it, it was the most delicious thing he had ever eaten.

Blinker reluctantly hesitated while eating, to savor every bite, and to his relief it did fill him up. That’s what they were meant to do, anyways, so it made sense that it would. Blinker felt full for the first time in a day or two, and he sighed with relief. The bar had been so good.

Blinker also happily noticed that he wasn’t thirsty, either. The bar was quite moist, so it didn’t really make him thirsty. Good, He thought, That’s what It’s supposed to do.

Yep, the bars were supposed to fill you up and not distract you, if you got hungry on the field, and there was no way of waiting. To make sure you weren’t thirsty as well, so that it was very filling, and, again, not distracting. Of course, it distracted him now, but he was fine with that. He was hungry.

Blinker softly blinked, again looking out into space. He tried so hard not to acknowledge this happy moment, that he had a happy memory filling him, and that he was no longer hungry. In fact, he was quite full. But he failed, he did let his mind think about how happy he was, but to his shock, and happy surprise, his thoughts weren’t invaded with sadness.

Blinker smiled, relaxing. He was going to relish in happiness for as long as he could, for as long as his mind allowed him. The happy moment distracted him from the situation at hand for a while longer, before his mind brought it back to light.

Blinker’s mind was now back to its old tricks, flooding the situation back to him. He was alone, in an escape pod, in the middle of space, near a Separatist-Controlled Jedi Cruiser. His only hope was that the Republic would come help him, come save him! But why would they? I mean, they thought he was a traitor.

Blinker let out a small groan. Most would probably be able to think positively, why not him? As he kept telling himself over and over again, it was unfair. But he really did have to try and cling onto hope, though it was hard.

Blinker sighed, VERY hard.

Blinker decided to again contact the Republic, informing anyone who was listening that he had found an escape pod, and was nearby the cruiser. He made sure to block the cruiser from listening in, so they wouldn’t be able to know where he was ‘hiding out’ at. Hopefully the new signal would reach someone.

He didn’t know how much more time passed from that moment, but he did know it had to be a while. Because it felt like a while. It felt like a few hours, maybe. Maybe only a few minutes. No, it had to be hours, because he was getting tired again. Each day since the incident had seemed action-packed, and full of fear. Which is what they had been.

Blinker was not very hopeful he would make it out of this situation, he admitted to himself. Why would the Republic come for him? He grunted to himself,

“So they can punish me themselves.”

Blinker let out a shaky exhale. The image of the firing squad he had created in his mind days earlier came flooding back, causing his muscles to tense. He remembered his horrifying dream of being shot by Sparkplug as well, though quickly dismissed that one. It was easy to tell himself Sparkplug wouldn’t do that, not so easy to tell himself Dodger wouldn’t.

Blinker felt as if ice rushed through him, and he shivered. He remembered the clone he had shot was Quickshot, who happened to be Dodger’s best friend. Blinker was scared of what Dodger would do to him, should they come and rescue him.

Blinker again imagined Dodger’s cold tone as he ordered a firing squad to shoot, and then Blinker being shot multiple times. Blinker squeezed his eyes closed, a quick inhale entering his lungs as he imagined the pain and fear. It would be very painful, and he would feel so betrayed, killed by his fellow clones.

He sighed, that was how Quickshot must have felt. Full of pain and feeling betrayed, shot by his own brother. Blinker winced as he realized Quickshot would never know it was an accident. Never know how sorry Blinker felt. Never know that Blinker would carry this weight on his shoulders forever.

Blinker then thought about what had happened to Quickshot. What happened to him once he became one with the force? Blinker didn’t like the thought, knowing that you would not retain your identity. You would just be part of the force.

Blinker took a swift breath in, that was a terrible thought. He wouldn’t get to go to some nice place, with fields and friends and everyone he knew in life. No, he would lose his consciousness and become one with everyone else. That thought terrified him. Sure, perhaps it would be nice and peaceful, but he wouldn’t be conscious to enjoy it.

That was another reason why he was so scared to sacrifice his life for the Republic, because he didn’t want whatever would happen after. If there was a nice place to go after death, he would be more willing to sacrifice himself for the GAR.

But there wasn’t, so he was told.

Blinker would prefer this than death, he acknowledged. Because now, he had a chance at coming back, at being a normal, well, normal as he could, soldier again, and loyal. No matter how scared he was, he would always be loyal. But he didn’t want to die. He really, really didn’t.

Blinker let out a soft sigh as he grew more and more tired in the chair. He made sure to stay somewhat near the cruiser, and left his comm channel open for any contact. Blinker yawned, blinking slowly. He again drifted into the soft grip of sleep, hoping the next day would be better.

Chapter Text

Blinker slowly awakened from the dark enfold of his mind. He yawned slowly, mouth gaping into a wide crater, keeping his eyes closed as he did so, before opening them and blinking.

Blinker gulped and sighed as he remembered where he was. He was floating in space, near the cruiser, waiting and hoping. He still wasn’t sure whether or not the Republic would come for him, but he tried so hard to hold onto the hope that he would not die of starvation. Or dehydration. Or that the Separatists would capture him. Or he would not have enough oxygen. Or-

Blinker stopped his thought, he couldn’t do that. Let thoughts get the better of him again. He seriously couldn’t, not when he was out here alone, in a ship that he controlled. He didn’t know what he would do if he let his fear control him completely out here.

Blinker shivered, it was getting kind of chilly. And he was hungry. Blinker winced as he realized he was actually getting pretty hungry. He Let out a deep exhale, wrapping his arms around his stomach, which in turn pressed Sparkplug to his stomach.

He tried to ignore the gnawing panic and hunger growing inside him. He tried so hard. But there was nothing to distract him from it. All there was was space, the escape pod he was in, and Sparkplug. Not much. Though he did try to occupy his thoughts with Sparkplug.

Hopefully they were on the way to his rescue right now, and he would soon be safe again with the Republic. Hopefully Sparkplug was alive, he shivered at the thought that he might not be, and had convinced them to come help him. All he wanted was to see Sparkplug again.

That was truly it. He didn’t want to get back to fighting, he’d be fine if he never fought again, and just wanted anything but to see Sparkplug. He hugged his stomach, and Sparkplug, even tighter. Not only because he loved his little plush, but because his stomach rumbled again.

Blinker remembered that the bars were only meant to fill you up for a little bit, generally after the battle you’d be able to get a full meal. Not in Blinker’s case, though. No food to be found in an escape pod. And also, he didn’t know how much oxygen there was.

Blinker closed his eyes for a split second, knowing he’d regret his, before he leaned up. He was going to check how much oxygen there was left.

Blinker looked for the small circle on the wall, where the amount of oxygen would be shown. His gaze flashed from one thing to the next, searching for his target. His breath caught in his throat once he found it. He had 5 hours of oxygen left, and after that, it was only how much his helmet could store.

How long had he slept? It had to have been awhile, for how much air he had left… It must have been quite a long time. Usually he’d be glad about that, that he had gotten plenty of sleep. But not this time, since that meant he was going to be awake when he ran out of oxygen. He wasn’t going to die in his sleep, he was going to pass while he was conscious.

He tore his gaze from the amount of oxygen, closing his eyes tight. He just wanted to go back to sleep and have a good dream, just slip off peacefully.

But he really, truly, sincerely hoped he would just be found and saved. Sparkplug would come and help him, and he would not die. He didn’t want to die.

This thought spiralled back into death, what lied after they died? Surely there was somewhere to go, something that would happen after death, and they wouldn’t just be one with the force. Though, that is what the Jedi said. And the Jedi didn’t lie. So either that was true, or that’s just what they believed.

Blinker decided he didn’t want to believe that. He really didn’t want to believe that. Because if that was true, then once they died, they would never see friends again. Never get to relax, think for yourself, or really, anything. He couldn’t bring himself to think that that’s what there was after it was all over.

If that was what there was, then that was no reward for fighting. He wouldn’t get to relax and enjoy peace once he died, he would lose his identity as a reward for all his efforts. And not only him, but all the clones, too. Even Sparkplug.

That made him shiver, and worry the most. Yes, he was very worried for himself after death, but Sparkplug even more so. If they became one with the force, Sparkplug would not get rewarded for all he did for Blinker. And that made his heart break.

Sparkplug did so much for him, helped him, comforted him, and supported him when no-one else was there. And the thought of him losing his identity and consciousness as a result…

He took a sharp inhale in through clenched teeth, he didn’t want to imagine that.

Then he realized Quickshot had already lost his identity.

Blinker felt as if he were going to break, he had been the sole cause of a clone’s death. All that pain and guilt flooded back into him, and he clenched Sparkplug tighter. Blinker felt as if his heart had caught in his throat, he really hoped that there was some nice place after death. He reminded himself for the millionth time that becoming one with the force sounded terrible.

He didn’t understand how that could be reassuring to some. Losing your consciousness and becoming one collective entity was reassuring to some?

He scoffed to himself, maybe to the Jedi. Perhaps it was more reassuring to them because they were able to USE the force. Not to civilians, or anyone who couldn’t use the force. Well, that’s what he assumed, anyways. It sure didn’t assure him.

Perhaps the Jedi were able to keep their identities while being one with the force. Though, he had never heard of that. But why else would the Jedi be so calm about it? Blinker shook his head, he didn’t want to think about death any more. It made him feel terrible. He also didn’t want to think about the low oxygen.

Blinker let out a slow and troubled sigh, he really wished it weren’t him in this situation. But again, he didn’t want anyone to be in this situation. He again stared into the vast expanse of space.

A few hours must have passed, because when he checked the oxygen level again, he had an hour and fifteen minutes left of oxygen, which caused his heart to jump. An hour left until he ran out of oxygen. Probably like drowning, but slower, and on land.

He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his arms around Sparkplug even tighter. There was only around an hour before his death. He desperately willed for the Republic to find him. He wanted to live. To see his friends again. To be proven innocent.

When he next checked the oxygen, he had thirty minutes left. Not even an hour. Blinker took in a hiss of shaky breath, his doom was arriving. He had to keep clinging onto the hope that the GAR would come.

Blinker couldn’t help himself as he imagined how scared he would be when the oxygen was lost, when there was no more. He was already so scared, and his faith that the Republic would come to his rescue was dwindling with each passing moment. He was going to die out here, alone and scared. Now he was sure.

Blinker was gasping for breath, and fear was shooting down his spine like a morning frost. He almost felt as if he were going to crush his little Loth Cat, though he knew that wouldn’t happen.

But then something incredible happened. Something that made Blinker so happy, that made hope quickly rush back into the man’s body.

A Republic ship had just lurched out of hyperspace.

Blinker took a quick glance back to the wall, twenty-seven minutes. They needed to move fast. Blinker paused, his helmet would give him a few more minutes,so they probably actually had around thirty-seven minutes. Still, not that long.

Blinker lept into action, reaching forwards towards the main control panel and sending out his coordinates again, again blocking the stolen cruiser from the pulse. He was hopeful, all bad thoughts gone for the moment.

His heart was racing, and his breath was moving in and out of his lungs quickly. He had a chance. A chance to live. A chance to see Sparkplug again. Blinker watched as the ship slipped through the vast expanse of space, heading towards his small escape pod. It was moving rather quickly, Blinker assumed as to get out of the Cruiser’s vicinity as fast as possible.

Blinker didn’t blame them, he did too.

Their ship was slowly growing larger and larger as they inched quickly closer and to his escape pod. Blinker’s heart was racing with exhilaration and hope, he was going to be rescued! He would wonder why they hadn’t made contact with him, but it was probably because they didn’t want to risk alerting the Separatists to their position.

Blinker’s heart kept on pounding, the ship was hovering over his pod now. He dropped into the seat as he was slowly risen up, up, into the ship. He almost felt himself break down with relief, he was safe again with the Republic. No dark thoughts shrouded his mind, which he made sure not to ponder on too much, or else they would flood in.

Blinker launched his hand out towards Sparkplug, his cute little plush, removed his blaser, and shoved it into his holster. He quickly replaced the blaster. His muscles were tense as he waited for the pod’s door to open, he hoped Sparkplug would be waiting for him on the other side.

Now, he was filled to the brim with hope.

Chapter Text

The door whooshed open, releasing a hiss of steam as it did so. Blinker’s gaze was locked onto the crack where it opened, and a wave of relief washed over him. Even though it wasn’t Sparkplug who greeted him, he was relieved to see any other clone.

“Welcome back, soldier.”

One greeted him, and Blinker nodded gratefully. He knew there would still be more to go through, but he allowed himself this victory. The victory of surviving this. It was a good change to see a living brother, after seeing so many lying dead and unhonored on the ship. Blinker walked forwards, stumbling down and out of the pod, his brothers catching the sides of his arms to brace the fall.

Blinker felt his heart swell at the touch of someone else’s hands, even though it hadn't been long, it had been a rough day.. or two. Maybe three. He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that this had been quite an ordeal. He recalled the events of the past couple of days;

He had shot a brother, been taken to a cell, the ship had been taken over by Separatists, he had contacted the Republic, crawled into the vents, escaped by an escape pod, and nearly ran out of air, before he was found by his brothers and the Jedi. He let out a sigh and resisted the urge to lean into this clone, he could wait until he saw Sparkplug. He had completely forgotten there was a chance Sparkplug wasn’t living.

“Where’s Sparkplug?”

Blinker questioned, forcing his legs to straighten under his weight. He had removed his helmet right before he exited the pod, as he felt he could breathe better without it, so he was staring straight at the trooper, probably looking tired even though he had gotten plenty of sleep throughout it all. He just wanted to rest on a nice, soft bed, instead of a cell bench, vent floor, or escape pod seat.

The two troopers exchanged a glance, causing Blinker’s heart to lurch.

“He’s fine. Waiting for you up there.”

The clone motioned to the top of a stairwell, with a door at the top. Blinker immediately tried to rush off towards the door, relief that his friend was okay swelling inside him, but was abruptly stopped by a hand on his chest.

“Woah, hold it there, bud. You still can’t be trusted off on your own. We’ll escort you up.”

Blinker’s stomach dropped. Of course, he realised, he was still a ‘criminal’. They wouldn’t trust him. He couldn’t go back to life as normal immediately. He would probably even have to go back to a cell. He wouldn’t get to tuck into a normal, soft bed, but the cell bench instead.

He let out an unhappy grunt and nodded stiffly, noticing as the two clones positioned themselves behind him, watching his every move as he walked towards the door. His boots *click clacked* on the floor, along with the other two troopers’. They neared closer and closer to the stairs and door, and Blinker really hoped that these troopers weren’t lying to him, and that Sparkplug really was waiting there for him.

But if he was alive, then why didn’t he come and wait at the pod for him? Maybe they just didn’t trust them together… But why not? Blinker shook himself inwardly, he couldn’t question it too much. He just wanted to see Sparkplug, no questions asked.

The troopers silently escorted him, though Blinker could tell from their loose limbs and jerky movements that they wondered what had happened to him out there, how he survived. But they weren’t going to ask him, he assumed.

Blinker started up the stairs, soldiers’ boots clanking along behind him. His heart started to pound faster as he neared the door, he was going to see Sparkplug!

As he reached the door, he looked back to make sure it was alright to approach and open it, smiling to himself as they nodded. He whipped back, stepped forwards, and braced himself as it opened. He felt as if he were about to faint for joy as he saw his best friend standing there, nervously tapping his foot, arms crossed.

Sparkplug had his helmet off, its location unknown to Blinker. And when he saw Blinker, his expression lit up with joy. He immediately rushed forwards, opening his arms and folding them around Blinker. Blinker quickly returned the favor, taking in a shaky inhale. Ever since he saw Sparkplug back in the cell, he had been missing him and wanting to see him again.

Now, here he was, in a hug.

“Blinker… You’re okay.. I was so worried. I thought…”

He cut off, voice cracking. Blinker embraced him tighter, not thinking about the fact that the troopers who escorted him would be wondering why they would get so close. They were told not to get too attached to their brothers, since there was a chance of any of them dying at any time.

“I thought the same about you, too… It’s so good to see you.”

Blinker spoke, inhaling deeply, lungs expanding greatly. His fears of Sparkplug being dead somewhere on the ship, unhonored, had been put to rest. Blinker, not leaning back, spoke again.

“What happened when the Seppies attacked? H- how did you escape?”

Sparkplug leaned back, looking Blinker in the eye. The flash in his gaze caused Blinker to turn around, and he noticed the guards were gone. They must trust Sparkplug enough to guard him, and knew Blinker and Sparkplug needed some space.

Sparkplug took in a deep breath, before speaking,

“After the Separatists had overpowered us, all the remaining clones followed after the general. He made his way to the escaped pods, and all the while, I was worrying about you.”

He paused.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t go back for you, Blinker. But at the moment, I.. I had to worry about myself.”

Blinker gulped and nodded, placing a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. He smiled slightly,

“All that matters is that we’re both alive and together again. I assume from there you all contacted the Republic, and were rescued?”

Blinker guessed, leading to Sparkplug’s discontented nod. Blinker left his hand on Sparkplug’s shoulder, relieved to be feeling his friend again. Sparkplug wasn’t dead. Blinker wasn’t dead. Red wasn- wait.

Blinker blinked as his heart skipped a beat.

“Is- is red okay..?”

Blinker cautiously asked, looking deep into Sparkplug’s eyes.

Sparkplug jolted and turned his gaze down, causing Blinker’s breath to quicken. Was Red not okay? Did Red die? Blinker’s grip tightened on Sparkplug’s shoulder as he impatiently waited for an answer.

“Well… he’s alive…”

Sparkplug murmured vaguely, and Blinker let his own gaze drop.

“But.. he’s badly injured..?”

He inquired, knowing he was right. A spike of ice seemed to shoot down his spine at the thought of Red lying in a bed, badly injured, perhaps with an oxygen mask on his face. Blinker desperately wanted to hug Sparkplug again, but knew he should wait until he confirmed what Blinker guessed.

“Yes..”

Sparkplug sadly confirmed, reaching his arms out for another embrace of Blinker, which Blinker accepted. Would Red be okay? Blinker was more than relieved that Sparkplug was okay, and he didn’t want anything to ruin that right now. Even though he was so worried for Red, he wanted to enjoy being with Sparkplug. So he tried to not think about it as they held each other more.

After a few seconds, they released again.

“We should.. We should go see Red.”

Blinker murmured, worry pricking at his fingers. How bad was Red? Would he live? He looked up, noticing Sparkplug was nodding worriedly. Red must be in pretty bad condition.

“Yes, we should.”

Sparkplug responded, stepping behind Blinker, causing him to be a bit confused. Noticing this, Sparkplug explained,

“Em.. sorry Blinker, General Kenobi says you need an escort everywhere you go. Since the other two left, I’m your escort now.”

Blinker’s heart fell as the words escaped his lips, and he nodded. It made sense, since he had been escorted up to Sparkplug, but it felt weird for his closest friend to be the one escorting. He was used to them just walking together, as friends, not as trooper and trooper.

Blinker started walking, listening to Spakplug’s boots clattering on behind him.

“So.. What happened to you out there, Blinker?”

Sparkplug’s voice echoed from behind him, and he tilted his head a bit, to see the edge of Sparkplug.

“Well, a lot.”

Blinker began, searching through his memory for all that happened. It was a lot. And this ‘adventure’ wasn’t over yet. He shivered as he recalled everything that had led up to this point, ever since he had killed his brother… Blinker shook himself, starting to explain.

Blinker took the time, as they were walking to Red, to tell Sparkplug everything that had happened. How he had made his way slowly to the comms room, into the vents, the search for the escape pods, and how he made his way out of the cruiser thanks to sed escape pod. And from there, he told Sparkplug how he was around twenty minutes away from losing oxygen, and he had almost lost hope, when the Republic had arrived and saved him.

Once finished, Blinker could only imagine the trooper’s expression.Probably surprise, maybe worry, and thankfulness that Blinker had been able to live and make it back. Blinker was grateful for that, too.

“Sounds like you’ve been through a lot, Blinker.. I’m glad you’re okay. And um.. Good job coming up with an escape plan.”

Sparkplug spoke, a cracked edge to his tone. Blinker glanced back thankfully and sympathetically, his friend must have been so worried for him.

Blinker had been very worried for Sparkplug, too. For the longest time, he had thought Sparkplug was dead. The ship had been attacked and taken over, and Blinker had assumed the worst. So many clones had fallen, and he had assumed Sparkplug was one of them, lying somewhere there, unfound and surrounded by marching battle droids… Blinker shooed the thought away from his mind, and turned his head fully back to look at Sparkplug for a second, assuring himself that Sparkplug was alright.

Sparkplug smiled at Blinker reassuringly, and Blinker let out a small sigh. He was so happy that him and Sparkplug were reunited, but he knew life wouldn’t just go back to normal. He wished it would, though. But no.

Blinker winced and slowed his pace as he recalled that he had murdered.. He hated that he used that word, because it made him feel worse, but that’s what it was, his brother. Sparkplug shifted behind Blinker, and placed his hand on Blinker’s shoulder.

“I would ask if you were alright, bud, but I know the answer is no.”

He started. Blinker stopped completely and looked behind himself and up at Sparkplug, making eye contact. Seeming as if he were reading Blinker’s mind, he continued,

“Quickshot’s death wasn’t your fault, Blinker. It was a very bad accident. You couldn’t have done anything to stop it.”

Blinker shifted his feet, speaking,

“I could’ve not shot at that droid.. The one he stumbled into… Then he’d still be alive.”

He mumbled, discouraging himself more. His gaze had dropped from Sparkplug’s, locking onto the floor. Sparkplug gently tilted Blinker’s head back up, making eye contact again.

“No, Blinker. Don’t think about what could have happened, what happened is what happened. No-one could have stopped it. Everything will end up okay, and life will go back as it used to be.”

He paused,

“No, even better than before!”

Sparkplug finished enthusiastically, trying his best to look excited for the future. Blinker smiled at Sparkplug’s attempt to make him feel better, which had worked for the most part. He sniffed and nodded,

“Thank you, Sparkplug. You always know how to make me feel better.”

Blinker didn’t even open his arms for an invitation for another hug, just went in for one.

Sparkplug returned the favor, and everything was alright for as long as they were there, Blinker with his eyes closed. It had to have been at least a minute or two. Blinker felt very safe, with Sparkplug right in front of him, holding him.

Blinker hoped Sparkplug enjoyed this too.

Chapter Text

They had arrived at the Medbay, where Red was awaiting them in who-knows-what condition. Well, Sparkplug probably knew and wasn’t telling him, if he was being honest. Perhaps his condition had improved from the last time Sparkplug had seen him. Perhaps he was almost recovered!

Blinked doubted that, but wasn’t going to try and convince himself he was wrong. He wanted to believe Red was better than he probably was, good and healthy and safe as Sparkplug. So he just stopped thinking about it, and stepped forward to open the door. It whizzed open, and Blinker stepped into the large, white, clean room with Sparkplug right on his heels.

Sparkplug gently pushed past him, pointing in the direction of a curtain.

“He’s behind there. But, before we go to him, we should probably tell the medics that we’re visiting.”

Sparkplug spoke, dropping his hand and then motioning with his head for Blinker to follow. Blinker passed one more glance at the curtain, before reluctantly trailing along. He wanted to see Red now, what if something happened to him in the time they were getting permission..?

“Hello, trooper. We’ve come to visit Red.”

Blinker looked up as Sparkplug spoke, one hand raised and moving as he talked. Blinker pulled up beside him, nodding in agreement.The medical clone looked up from his datapad, which was tilted to where the screen was just out of sight. The clone nodded, helmet off, as he set his pad down screen-first onto a nearby counter.

“Friends, I assume. I know you are Sparkplug. Right this way.”

Blinker noticed as the clone gave him a glare for a second and winced, before he walked off towards the curtain Sparkplug had shown Blinker earlier. Blinker took in a slow breath, was everyone against him now? Sparkplug placed a hand on Blinker’s shoulder.

“They’ll come around.”

He murmured encouragingly, passing him a sympathetic look. Blinker shook his head sadly,now that word had spread of what he had done, he didn’t think they would ever forgive him. Who would? He had killed someone. And not the enemy, either. It was a brother. Blinker knew especially that, if he were Dodger, he would never forgive him.

Blinker tried to push that thought out of his head, and failed. But he hid it. He acted as if Sparkplug’s words had made him feel better. Though, when he thought of and looked at Sparkplug, he did feel better. It was so good to see him alive and well, after imagining him lying dead somewhere on that ship while he was drifting out in space.

Blinker took off after Sparkplug, boots clicking as he made his way right beside him. The medical clone flashed open the curtain to reveal Red lying on a bed, covers over his body so that wounds were not visible. Blinker saw him shift a little bit, eyes flickering open, but quickly closing again. After the clone gave Blinker one more hard glare, he turned,

“I’ll leave you all to yourselves.”

And walked around a corner until he was out of sight. Blinker shivered, suddenly feeling cold. It wasn’t his fault he had shot Quickshot! He was pushed into Blinker’s firing path.. There was nothing he could have done to stop it.. Blinker gulped as he remembered the icy tone Red had used when he was first asking Blinker about Quickshot, chills shooting down his spine.

He let out an audible gasp, drawn swiftly from his thoughts as Sparkplug took a hold of Blinker’s arm. Sparkplug quickly released at Blinker’s fearful response, and turned to him.

“It’ll be okay, Blinker. Everything will turn out fine. Everyone will forgive you, and life will go back to normal.”

He murmured, raising up his hands as if asking permission to touch his arms. Blinker nodded, and Sparkplug gently laid his hands on the tops of Blinker’s arms. It was rather comforting. Blinker took a breath in, uttered a small ‘thank you’, and walked over to right beside Red’s bed. Sparkplug came right up beside him.

Blinker looked down at the form, watching Red’s eyes blink open.

“You’re alive..”

He spoke weakly, taking in a deep breath. Blinker winced and nodded, reaching over to pull up Red’s covers.

“Yes, and I came to see you.”

Red’s eyes flicked to Sparkplug,

“Heh… came to see me again.. Did ya?”

He let out a small cough, wincing as he adjusted himself in the bed.

“Got shot.. Right in the stomach. Armor helped, but still hurt.. A little bit.”

Red informed Blinker, wheezing. Blinker knew that it must hurt more than ‘a little bit’, but said nothing. He only placed his left hand on Sparkplug’s right shoulder, smiling.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll make a swift recovery, brother.”

Blinker spoke, trying not to be too gentle as to ruin his pride.

“Mm.. I hope so.”

Red said, though doubt filled his gaze. Blinker winced, though he hid it. Red was a medic, so he knew how fast he’d recover.. Or if he would recover. Red must have seen the worry flash in Blinker’s eyes, so he spoke as quickly as he could,

“Oh, I will.. Recover.. I just doubt it’ll be quick.”

Blinker breathed out a sigh of relief, Red was going to be okay.

“Good. We need ya, Red.”

Blinker turned to Sparkplug as he spoke, his own relief reflecting in Sparkplug’s eyes. He was glad to see their ‘trio’ still stood strong, even after… the incident. Turning his head to Red, Blinker watched as he didn’t respond, just let his head lean back into the pillow as he fell into unconsciousness. Blinker watched for a second as his chest rose and fell, making sure he was still okay, before he turned his head to again face Sparkplug.

“I’m glad he’s okay.”

He murmured, not wanting to wake Red, though he doubted anything would. Sparkplug nodded in agreement,

“Last time I came to see him he was unconscious, so I’m glad he’s getting better.”

Blinker sighed, crossing his arms. His heart was pounding for some unknown reason, which he could not stop.

“Sparkplug..”

He started, before pausing. Was now the right time for this question? Sparkplug was looking at him worriedly.

“What is it, Blinker?”

Blinker let out another breath,

“What’s the point of this war? I mean.. what are we fighting for?”

Sparkplug gave Blinker a serious look, crossing his arms.

“We’re fighting for freedom from the Separatists. Freedom for all planets.”

“Yes, but.. I mean..”

A thought popped into Blinker’s head. He didn’t know where it came from, or why it had come into form, but he spoke nonetheless.

“The Jedi are against slavery, right? The Republic is against slavery?”

Sparkplug had a curious expression spread across his face.

“Yes, of course. Why?”

Blinker’s heart pounded harder. He didn’t know why he had suddenly started thinking about this, especially when all he had come to do was visit Red. But now he had to voice his thoughts.

“Then why do they keep us as slaves?”

When a look of shock had not taken over sparkplug’s expression and he looked as if he were about to talk, Blinker quickly continued,

“I mean, we don’t have any free will. We are made for one purpose only; to serve the Jedi and the Republic. We are punished if we decide we don’t want to fight any more, if we try to leave the G A R. We’re slaves to the Jedi, Sparkplug.”

Sparkplug looked too stunned to talk. Blinker wondered if he had spoken too freely, but he continued,

“I know this sounds treasonous.. But, I thought about it, and It’s true. If we want to leave, we can’t. Sparkplug.. I love all my brothers, but… what if I decide to leave? I’ll be hunted down for sure, unless I slip away in a battle or something.”

Sparkplug seemed to be processing what Blinker had said. After a moment, he slowly put a hand on Blinker’s shoulder, and spoke,

“I.. I don’t know where all of this is coming from, Blinker, but.. Please don’t leave. Don’t think about it too hard. We have each other, we have our brothers. Yes.. there may be lots of fighting, and..”

He paused and drew in a breath,

“And we may be.. Slaves.. But the Jedi and the Republic do care for us.”

Blinker let his shoulders sag. Where had that thought come from? Why had he suddenly thought that? His mind truly was a dark and mysterious place.

“We’re still slaves nonetheless, Sparkplug. Slaves that are treated well are still slaves. And besides, some people, especially citizens, don’t seem to like us all that much.”

Sparkplug stared at him, then turned and motioned for Blinker to follow. Confused, Blinker did so.

Sparkplug walked over to the medical clone, who Blinker had forgotten could be listening. He also shrunk back as he remembered this clone didn’t like him, and hearing that might have pushed the clone to tell someone about Blinker’s ‘treatery’.

Luckily, the clone didn’t seem to notice their approach until they were near in front of him. Which means he was either playing dumb, or he had heard nothing. Blinker’s mind told him the medic was playing dumb, but he hoped he just hadn’t heard.

“We’re done with our visit, thank you.”

Sparkplug spoke, followed closely by a curt nod. The medic nodded back, tossing one more look of dislike at Blinker, then proceeded to lift his pad back up. Blinker nodded stiffly at him, before swiftly making his way after Sparkplug. Blinker let out a deep breath as they made their way into the hallway, staring at Sparkplug, who turned to face him.

“You’re lucky he didn’t hear you. You’d be in even more trouble than you already are.”

Sparkplug spoke, his voice cross but his eyes sparkling with concern.

“Where did these thoughts come from? Was it something that happened while you were out by yourself?”

Blinker sighed, shaking his head. Even he was asking himself this question.

“No, it just popped into my head. I have no clue where this came from.”

Sparkplug place a hand on Blinker’s shoulder.

“Well, Blinker, It’s okay. We.. we may be slaves, but.. We are welcome. We care for one another.”

As Sparkplug finished speaking, Blinker slowly nodded. He would never get this thought out of his head, nor, he recalled, being killed by his own brothers for his treachery. He winced at both thoughts.

Soon after this, a clone approached them, holding a blaster in the general position.

“Ah, there you are. The General would like to speak with you, Blinker. You can come along too.”

He finished, with a quick glance at Sparkplug. Blinker gulped and nodded, grateful that the Jedi was letting Sparkplug come. His fingertips tingled as he started after the trooper, Sparkplug close behind in a reassuring manner. His heart was pounding.

They made their way down the halls in silence. Walk, turn, walk, turn. Silence, except for the occasional troopers passing and murmuring amongst themselves. Blinker thought they must have been talking about him as they passed, or at least a few of them, from the way their heads jerked to him. How far has news spread?

The three clones slowly came to a halt as a door loomed in front of them. It looked rather… menacing. That must just be because I’m nervous, Blinker assured himself, tensing as Sparkplug laid a hand on his shoulder, though quickly relaxing.

“Thank you, Sparkplug.”

He whispered, and Sparkplug gave a terse nod in response. The trooper in front commed the other side of the door, requesting permission to enter. Blinker closed his eyes tight. Why was he so scared? He knew General Kenobi would treat him fairly.

He had no reason to be worried.

Chapter Text

As the man on the other side of the comm told them to enter, the door slid open and the trooper in front immediately walked in. Sparkplug lightly pushed on Blinker’s shoulder to enter and he gulped, slowly forcing his legs to move inside. The prickly tingle in his fingers had now made its way down to his palms, which he blamed on the suddenly-hot gloves that he, and all clones, wore. He told himself it wasn’t fear. He knew that was false.

Blinker glanced around the large room as they entered, taking mental note that the officers were not looking up from their computers. They were staying focused on their personal tasks at hand. Flitting his gaze back to the clone in front of him, he peered around. His heart skipped a beat as he saw not only General Kenobi and Commander Cody, but General Skywalker and Captain Rex as well.

Surely the two five-oh-first members hadn’t come just to see him? It was rather serious.. But, he recalled, Obi-Wan was once Skywalker’s master, so it would make sense for him to come check on him after their flee from the scene of the cruiser. The two jedi cared for each other much.

“Here he is, sir. And Sparkplug as well.”

The man in front spoke, motioning to Blinker and Sparkplug. Anakin’s gaze flitted curiously across the troopers, arms carefully folded against his chest. Rex was standing relaxed beside him. Kenobi was standing, arms hanging, Cody in a more carefully-picked professional position beside him. It was obvious which legion was more relaxed.

Kenobi nodded to the clone,

“Thank you, soldier. You are dismissed.”

The trooper nodded formally and stepped to the side, sliding past Blinker and his friend.

“So.. you’re the clone that caused so much trouble?”

Anakin spoke, words directed towards Blinker. Blinker took note of that, grateful that the Jedi was addressing him directly. He reluctantly nodded,

“Er.. yes, sir.”

Anakin looked at him without an expression. Blinker shifted, uncomfortably aware of the Jedi’s gaze on him. Sparkplug moved up beside him.

“I know what happened, to an extent. I know what my master has told me, and that other Commander, Dodger.”

Blinker took a sharp breath in. If the Jedi had listened to Dodger, then it would be all over for him. Dodger was going to be biased, as the clone he had shot was Quickshot. Dodger’s friend. Blinker hardly noticed that he had angled his chin down to stare at the ground.

From what he had heard, General Skywalker treated his clones as fairly as could be. Rex seemed very relaxed, and comfortable, around the Jedi. Around both of them. Cody did as well, though he was more professional.

“We’ve talked and agreed, you’ll have to be court-martialed.”

Blinker took in a quick inhale, fear filling up from his feet to his head. He’d be presented in front of the Chancellor of the Republic? The Chancellor only looked at the proof… and there was no proof that Blinker had done it by accident, only proof that he had done it on purpose.

Quickshot’s last words were about how Blinker had shot him, Dodger was against him and he had a higher rank, and every clone there was too focused on their fight to notice that Quickshot had been pushed in front of his blaster fire, he was guessing all they had seen was a bolt coming from near them and hitting a brother. He was doomed.

Blinker shakily nodded, cursing himself for acting so nervously around not only his general, but the general of the five-oh-first as well. Sparkplug nudged closer beside him, now pressing up against him comfortingly. Blinker felt a rush of affection for his friend alongside the fear, Sparkplug would do just about anything for him, he knew.

Sympathy now shrouded Anakin’s gaze. It was as if he realized just how afraid Blinker was. He probably heard from his master, though just now saw for himself. Rex, although he had his helmet on, seemed suspicious and sympathetic, as though not quite sure if Blinker was telling the truth of it being an accident, yet wanting to believe him from how he acted.

General Skywalker looked to his master, who nodded. What were they thinking?

“We’ve decided to allow you to sleep in a bunk while we’re on our way to Coruscant. From there, I’m afraid, you’ll be escorted into the Senate building to stay in a cell.”

A ball of dread weighed in Blinker’s stomach as Anakin spoke these words. He was not going to be able to stay with Sparkplug after all. Would he be able to last…? He didn’t know. He had already been in a prison cell once, and it was awful. He had only seen Sparkplug once whilst in there. Could he handle that again?

Looking over to Sparkplug, his facial expression seemed worried and hesitant. He seemed as if he wanted to speak, to object, but his respect for the Jedi held his tongue. For now.

Blinker, looking back to the four men, two of them Jedi, nodded.

“Yes- yes sir.”

Blinker spoke, maintaining wary eye contact with General Skywalker, the man who had just given him this terrible news. Skywalker stared at Blinker kindly, which lifted his spirits a little bit. Perhaps he’d change his mind? Though, as the now-awkward silence stretched on, Blinker doubted it.

Anakin and Rex shared a look, before he spoke again.

“As long as you have a clone escort with you,”

Skywalker glanced knowingly at Sparkplug,

“You are free to roam about the ship.”

Blinker let out a small sigh of relief, at least he was trusted a small bit. He nodded, uttering a,

“Yes sir, thank you, sir.”

Sparkplug seemed to relax beside him as well, shifting an inch closer to him. Rex was staring at him, though his helmet was on so it was unknown if he was truly staring. However, It felt as though his helmet were staring at him.

“You all may be dismissed.”

General Kenobi spoke, turning to his former padawan to have a few more words with the man. Rex nodded at Blinker formally, whilst Cody turned to stare out into space, hands folded behind him. Blinker nodded respectfully, slowly turning and backing off with Sparkplug trailing just behind him, one hand on his shoulder.

Blinker assumed Sparkplug was ‘escorting’ him out, though he wasn’t pushing at all. Just had his hand there, more comforting than anything. Sparkplug’s touch always made Blinker feel better. Heck, even seeing Sparkplug made him feel great.

As they made their way out, Blinker noticed that no clone gave him any second glances. Just the usual look, then back to work. Blinker was grateful for that, perhaps word hadn’t gotten too far out. Perhaps not everyone hated him.

The door whooshed open and Blinker and Sparkplug trotted on out, not too quickly, but not too slowly. Blinker glanced back at Sparkplug, smiling. He was so relieved to be back with his friend. He hadn’t seen him since the prison cell visit, and, well, that was short.

Blinker, for the first time, wondered where his helmet was. Had he left it in the medical bay? Maybe in the hallway? Perhaps the escape pod.. yes, he had left it in the escape pod. He should get that. Where was Sparkplug’s? He tried to recall. Had he even had it on when Blinker had first arrived? Remembering, he knew Sparkplug had had it off the entire time. It didn’t seem as though he wanted his back.

“Sparkplug, could we em.. could we go back to the escape pod to grab my helmet? I left it there.”

He spoke, pausing his stride. Sparkplug continued walking a couple paces, before stopping and turning to face him. Sparkplug nodded,

“Of course, Blinker. I know I’m your.. guard.. but you don’t have to ask me permission. I’ll just follow.”

He assured Blinker, which caused him to nod. Why had he ever thought he needed to ask, anyways? Sparkplug was a close friend. He knew him! They were best friends, in fact. So why did he doubt? He shivered, a cold chill spiking through him. Sparkplug tilted his head down to look Blinker in the eye.

“You alright?”

Blinker nodded. Of course he was. There was no reason for him not to be. Except when they reached Coruscant… no. He was determined to stay positive. He had to.

“Yeah, I’m alright, Sparkplug. Let’s go grab my helmet. Where’s yours, by the way? I don’t recall seeing you have it on.”

Blinker gazed questioningly at Sparkplug, expertly tucking away his squirming discomfort at the circumstances. Perhaps he was getting better at this.

“Left it in the barracks. I decided that when I saw you, I didn’t want to see you through a screen, I wanted to see you face-to-face.”

Blinker smiled warmly at Sparkplug, scooting closer to him. Their positioning was no longer one behind the other, but two friends side by side. As they should always be.

“You too, Sparkplug. Ah, I missed you, bud.”

Blinker sighed contentedly, now he no longer just had his plush, but the real deal, too. He was just overjoyed his friend was here. He felt a sudden rush of compassion for Sparkplug, the man who was always there. The man who cared for him. The man who helped him so much.

The man.. who he could never lose.