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Chapter Text

“I'm sorry” the words seem to come out as barely a whisper. This wasn’t how Merlin wanted to tell Arthur, he had always imagined it would go down in an epic display of magic, magic used to defend the King and save camelot. Not like this. 

It was just after sunset and Merlin was on his way back to the physicians chambers when he saw a shadow dart out of sight and around the corridor. There was nothing down there except the dungeons, and the only prisoner that currently resided was Kara. Without thinking, Merlin took off at a run towards the shadow, he’s going to free her, he was stupid to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

Merlin reached the top of the stairs just in time to see Mordred sneak past the guards and towards the cells. Merlin followed behind quietly, after everything, Merlin still wanted to believe that he was wrong, that the prophecy was wrong. Tiptoeing closer and keeping out of sight, Merlin watched as Mordred found Kara and took her hand in his.

“How are you?” Mordred asked, his voice shaky and unsure, Merlin forgets how young he really is. “I am well Mordred, I will be fine”

“This is my fault, I was careless, I lead them straight to you Kara”

“You are not to blame”

“You don’t deserve this”

“No, perhaps I do not, but he is a Pendragon and I am a druid” 

“He is a good man,” 

“So he knows who you really are?” Mordred paused, thinking before saying, “I will speak to Arthur, he will see reason”

“Mordred, you are wrong, he is just like his father, he hunts our kind, kills our kin, or have you forgotten?”

“Kara please” Tears begin to form in Mordred’s eyes as Kara turns her back to him, walking to the back of her cell and placing herself on the floor ending the conversation. 

“I will make this right”

Merlin slips away just as Mordred turns and exits the dungeon. 

The early morning sunlight forces itself into Merlin’s room, his eyes wincing as the bright light floods his sight. His eyes feel heavy with tiredness, and staring at the same patch of his ceiling for the past several hours, sleep alluding him while his mind is too busy swirling with thoughts. It’s times like these that he wished for the days many years ago when his biggest problems were Griffins, escaped goblins and dodging Arthur’s well aimed goblets.

Putting it off no longer, Merlin dragged himself from his bed, pulled on his clothes and stumbled out of his room and towards Arthur's chambers. It was difficult to keep his mind from wandering back to Mordred and what he could be doing. It was well into the latter part of the morning and the sun was strong in the sky, Arthur kept sending him sideways glances of disapproval as Merlin dropped the third bucket of water of the morning.

“I’d like a bath at some point this morning Merlin” Arthur groaned, Merlin took no notice as he bent down to mop up the pool of water at his feet. 

“Alright, out with it?”

“Out with what sire?”

“You have been oddly quiet all morning and especially clumsy, more than usual and that is saying something!” 

Merlin isn't quite sure what he could say, he couldn't exactly tell him that Mordred is the traitor helping the druid girl, or that he can’t help but worry that he could kill Arthur at any moment. Luckily, he doesn't need to answer as a knock comes from the door. “Enter” Arthur allows. 

“My Lord, I hope I am not intruding but I wish to speak with you” Mordred tentatively strode further in the room, avoiding Merlin’s presence. 

“Of course, what can I do for you?”

Arthur pulled his tunic back over his head and gestured Mordred to a seat at the table where his breakfast still lay half eaten. Mordred sat but said nothing, his eyes darted back and forth between Merlin and Arthur. Merlin took that as a queue to busy himself with whatever chore he could find in the room, there was no way he was leaving to allow Mordred to be alone with the King. 

“It was me. I was the one to help the prisoner.” Arthur stiffened, visibly shocked. Merlin looked over at Mordred, the same despair he had noted on the young druid's face last night. 

“Please, she is just a girl, I have known her for many years, I…I love her.”

Finishing all his duties, Merlin began his walk back through the castle towards the physicians tower, although he felt a sense of familiarity as the same shadow from the previous night darted around the corner. This time however, Merlin will not keep Mordred's secret, not if it protects the king. He quickened his pace to catch up with the young knight. “I cannot let you do this,” he said once he was within earshot of the boy. 

“She can’t die!” Mordred was already raising his voice, his stance hardening in defence. 

All Merlin could see was the prophecy unravelling before him, he no longer saw the victims or the innocent. Only Mordred, his malicious grin as his blade pierced Arthur’s chest. This was the beginning, if he frees the girl, Arthur will know it was him and it will break his heart, another betrayal in a long line of trusted allies. Prophecy fulfilled. 

Merlin could not let this happen, he had always known he could not trust the boy, too many times had he seen the consequences of his actions. The choices he has made trusting his heart, only to be fooled and beaten. History is repeating itself and this time Merlin will not hesitate. Not like he did with Morgana. He was once young and naïve, seeing the best in everyone, now it was time he grew up. 

Merlin was angry, at Mordred, at Arthur, at himself. Mordred had his chance, Arthur spoke to Kara and she repaid him by spewing hate. The punishment is not one for a sorcerer, it is one for a murderer, a traitor. A girl who shows no remorse.

Mordred was weeding further into Arthur’s heart and it felt there was nothing Merlin could do to stop it. Unless. 

“Mordred” he said as he approached the young knight after leaving Arthur’s chambers. 

“Do not do something you will later regret” 

“She is innocent Emrys, she is scared and alone. You of all people should understand how that feels.”

“She is dangerous” 

“You're wrong!” Mordred advanced, pushing Merlin hard against the wall, his forearm holding tight against Merlin’s neck. 

“She will kill Arthur. And I will not let that happen” 

Merlin’s eyes glowed gold and Mordred was thrown back, enough. 

“Merlin?” A gentle voice came from down the corridor. Merlin turned at the sound of his name to see Gwene approaching. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Nothing i-” Merlin turned to find Mordred scampering away. “Nothing.” 

“Get some sleep Merlin, you look like you need it” and with that the queen carried on towards the royal chambers. 

Merlin entered Arthur's chambers the next morning to find Mordred already inside, deep in conversation with the king. “Leave us.” Arthur said to Mordred upon noticing Merlin's arrival. Anger painted his face, not explosive, but quiet. It was because of this that Merlin realised just how far Mordred was willing to go for this girl. 

Mordred stood and made for the door, glaring daggers at Merlin as he came closer, he reached towards the handle to open the door but Merlin grabbed his wrist before he could exit. “What have you done?”

Chapter Text

There was always something about Merlin, and Arthur could never put his finger on what it was. A clumsy, loud mouth servant that didn’t seem to understand self preservation, was not at top of his list of probable sorcerers. Yet, here Mordred stood telling him the one thing in the world he would never have believed. 

Mordred entered Arthur’s chambers fairly early that morning, visibly upset. He explained how after leaving Arthur’s chambers yesterday, he hoped to find some alone time to adjust and prepare for what was about to happen. Arthur had pity for the boy, he was still very young and had so much potential, it pained him to see Mordred so distraught. But Mordred's sadness turned more into hurt and betrayal as his expression stiffened on his face, recounting the memory of last night. ‘ He attacked me.’ Arthur was confused, this was Merlin, the serving boy who wouldn’t hurt a fly, cried for unicorns and despised hunting because “what’s the fun when one side has weapons and the other nothing.” Arthur couldn’t fault him there, but the point was, Merlin hadn’t a violent bone in his body. 

Except looking at Mordred, the details he provided, the way he spoke about him,  There was no doubt to suggest he was lying. There was always tension between the two, Merlin always glaring at Mordred, never trusting him, always staying close to Arthur when Mordred was around. 

It was clear. Merlin did not like Mordred. 

But what came next was what really hit Arthur right in the chest. “He attacked me with magic.” No  “He has magic, sire.” 

Arthur didn’t have much time to process before Merlin bounded into his chambers, late as always, and froze at the sight of them, like a deer on the receiving end of an expertly aimed arrow.

It’s true,

Arthur knew. Merlin was scared, he would only fear Arthur, truly fear him, if It was true. 

Mordred made a small bow to Arthur and proceeded towards the door but was stopped suddenly when Merlin gripped his wrist, knuckles white. “What have you done?” Mordred pulled his arm free and left. Neither he nor Merlin said a word, the tension building and Arthur could see Merlin's eyes begin to glisten with tears. It is definitely true then, he thought. Merlin broke the silence. 

“I’m sorry” it was so quiet that Arthur almost missed it. 

“For what? Lying? Attacking a knight? What!?” Arthur struggled to reign in his emotions as they threatened to break free. Merlin was shaking his head violently, denying the accusations but seeming to have no answer. 

“I- please, you have to under-”

“No, I understand, you are a sorcerer” the word tasted foreign on his lips, especially when describing Merlin, it didn’t feel right. “How could you be so stupid!?” Arthur swung his body to walk away, no longer able to look at his friend. Former friend. He heard a quiet sob sound from behind him, he risked a slight glance towards the sorcerer and he was crying. 

“It was for you Arthur. Only for you” Merlin's voice was barely a whisper. 

“You learned magic.” He couldn’t bring himself to shout. “In Camelot of all places.”

“I didn’t learn magic”

“What?”

“I was born with it”

Merlin's confession stunned Arthur, that was impossible, no one is born with Magic. It’s a tool that is learnt and used for Evil, it twists your very soul. If Merlin was born with it, that would mean it has had over two decades to corrupt him. Arthur couldn’t think of a single justification in favour of Merlin being evil. However, (and now his head really began to spin) Merlin cannot be an exception to the rule and if Arthur was wrong about magic, then how much pain and suffering had he caused? There was no reason for all those deaths by his fathers hand, his hand. All those raids, all those innocent children. 

“Merlin, I-” he didn’t know what to say. “I’m a monster”

“Arthur?”

“You’re not evil? Magic hasn’t corrupted you, has it?”

“No, of course not,” Merlin hesitantly stepped closer. 

“Magic isn’t good or bad, it’s the person's intention that ultimately decides, it’s the choices in what to do with the power they hold.” 

“Then I'm wrong. My father was wrong. All those people. They died for nothing.” His legs threatened to collapse, he swayed on his feet ready to fall when suddenly Merlin was there, hands gripping his arms and holding him firm. He felt a warmth spread over him. “You are a good man, and a great King.” Merlin slowly loosened his grip and Arthur immediately missed the sensation. He needed to the comfort he realised only Merlin could give him, he had always felt a bond with his wayward manservent but now the loss of his touch was replaced with grief. He craved this friendship, Merlin's hold, because those brief moments he believed it was lost revealed how empty and cold his life once was; before, ‘do you know how to walk on your knees?’

Arthur looked up to catch Merlin's eyes with his own. Everything he thought he had known was thrown into chaos, his world was changing and suddenly he felt as though he could finally breathe. For so long he was alone, without even knowing it, he had no one he could call a true friend, he had loyalty, but never friendship. Then there was Merlin and it broke his heart.

“I’m sorry” he hoped Merlin heard the unspoken assurances, he was safe. Nothing would happen to him, I will make sure of it. 

Several moments passed as both men stood in comfortable silence, neither needed to speak, Arthur would need time but he knew then, they would be ok. It was then that it dawned on Arthur, Mordred. 

“Merlin, why did you attack Mordred?”