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"...and I'd appreciate it if we could go straight there after school."
He'd been rambling on for fifteen minutes. Even though he had his fair share of practice tolerating his wordy monologues- both from second grade and high school- it still irritated him.
'And why would I let you?'
"Because there's something I wanted to discuss with you," said Akechi as he followed Saiki, who was walking away. He figured it didn't matter if he walked away or not, since Akechi was going to follow him anyway. "I think it'd be best to speak to you in private, since it's a bit of an odd topic."
I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think I want to.
School had let out, giving Akechi the perfect opportunity to bother him once again.
"I'm not sure if your mother will be home. She might intrude a bit on our conversation, and I'd rather she not. Of course, I don't mean that in a negative way at all, since I like your mother and enjoy her company as well as yours, since she's very kind-hearted. I only think it'd be best for us to talk about it on our own, preferably in your room, that way we're away from everyone else."
The way Akechi was saying it so vaguely left Saiki wondering what he meant, and why he was saying it so roundabout in the first place. He couldn't decipher his thoughts, and per usual, his curiosity got the best of him.
The walk from school was ten minutes, but Akechi could make it feel like ten hours.
******************
"Kusuo-kun? Do you mind if I ask you something a bit... personal?"
And of course, after following him all the way home, Akechi managed to weasel his way into his house, and upstairs, and into his room, because apparently Saiki had let his guard down and let him in, somewhat unintentionally. Saiki was sitting with his legs crossed on the desk chair, which had been moved to face the bed, where Akechi was sitting.
He checked his mind as much as he could, but his thoughts were zipping and zooming around, much too fast for him to be able to make out any words, let alone complete sentences.
What could go wrong?
'Sure.'
Akechi looked back up at him, his expression as blank and serious as Saiki's usually was.
"Do you have any more-than-platonic feelings towards me?"
...
'Excuse me...?'
Akechi placed his hands in his lap.
"Hmm, perhaps it's better if I'm more direct. Do you have a crush on me, Kusuo-kun?"
This is what I get for being optimistic.
'What are you talking about?'
"I've been watching you for a while. I've studied your habits, your mannerisms, and your lifestyle. That in itself is useful enough, but recently, I wanted to dig a little deeper. I've noticed a slight change in your behavior."
Saiki uncrossed his legs.
'What kind of change?' he projected bitterly.
"I know you. I know how you act, and I have several theories as to how you think. Of course, it'd be foolish of me to be so bold as to say that I can practically read your mind as it might seem I'm claiming, but I can assure you that this was not my intention. No, I'd rather be more modest, even though I know my predictions and theories are correct the vast majority of the time. Anyway, the way you speak to people, and the way you act naturally during the day varies depending on what you may be feeling on the inside. Really, a lot of your personality traits directly correlate to your emotions at any given time. Though you stay the same person and don't change into someone completely unrecognizable, you do act differently when you're happy, sad, stressed, etcetera."
'And what do you think I am?'
"I think you're in love. With me."
Saiki leaned back slightly, only enough for Akechi to take notice of it.
'How bold of you to assume these things.'
"I'm not assuming anything. Rather, I'm presuming. The difference between the two is that an assumption is random; it's not based on anything whatsoever, sometimes acting to the other person's detriment. Usually, when people assume things, they assume something that would benefit them, whether it be conscious or subconscious. To presume, is more of an educated guess."
Educated...
Saiki didn't like the way he said "educated", because he knew no matter what was coming next, it wasn't going to be good.
"I think I have valid reasons to believe you harbor romantic feelings towards me. Would you mind if I- Well, actually, based on your reactions and overall hesitation about the subject, I think I'd rather go ahead and do it."
Do what?
"I'm going to need you to answer honestly. I know that from this point on, you're not going to answer honestly, and rather, you'll answer whatever paints you in the best light, but that's fine with me, since I can tell when you're lying."
Saiki scoffed.
'Why are you being so creepy?'
Akechi chuckled.
"I'm not being creepy. Not on purpose, at least."
Akechi picked up his school bag and pulled out a pen and notepad.
What the heck...
"First off, I'd like you to tell me who your friends are."
...
'What friends?'
"You know exactly who I'm talking about. It's very childish and tsundere of you to pretend like you don't after all this time. Even if they do annoy you, or even mildly inconvenience you, they're still your friends. Let's see, Riki Nendou, Shun Kaidou, Kokomi Teruhashi, Kineshi Hairo, Aren Kuboyasu, Chisato Mera, Reita Toritsuka, Mikoto Aiura, and..."
Akechi grinned mischievously, looking at Saiki who had his head tilted down the tiniest bit. His face was still fairly calm, but Akechi knew it wouldn't last.
"Do you consider me your friend, Kusuo-kun?"
Saiki literally and figuratively bit his tongue.
"Don't worry about answering. Your silence speaks volumes."
I hate you...
Akechi scribbled something down in his notebook and Saiki decided it'd be best not to check what he was writing.
"Alright, since I doubt you're going to cooperate, it might be best to simply ask you the questions and study your reactions."
'Study? What am I, a lab rat?'
"No. I would never call you a rat. Rats aren't very hygienic, and you're quite neat and tidy."
As if that changes anything.
"Where do you see your friends?"
'What?'
"Where do you interact with them?"
'At school.'
"Is... That all?"
'Yes.'
"And the beach, several ramen shops spanning the town, your house, Kaidou-kun's house, Nendou-kun's house, Teruhashi-san's house, the temple Toritsuka-kun lives at, the forest, school trips, vacations, and other various locations. But you weren't planning on including any of those, were you?"
...
"How much time do you spend with your friends?"
'What does it matter?' he shot back.
Akechi still smiled, just as friendly as he had been since the beginning, and asked again.
"How much time do you spend with your friends? Please answer the question. It's to your own benefit."
'How is it to my own benefit?'
"Because if you answer, I won't have to answer for you. I know the answers to the questions I'm asking you."
'Then why are you even asking me?'
"I'd like to hear it from you."
...
"So, how much time do you spend with your friends?"
'Too much.'
"Kusuo-kun."
'I eat ramen with Nendou sometimes. And every now and then, they'll drag me out to do God knows what.'
"At least you're being somewhat honest," he said as he scribbled more words in his little notepad. "Of course, you could've gone more into detail, but I suppose that's fine. You know, don't think I don't know what you're doing."
'And what would that be?'
"You've been excluding me from all your answers."
Saiki shifted in his seat.
"Of course, I doubt you keep track of things like I do. There's plenty of things that are useful to keep track of, and different things will carry a different level of significance depending on the person. For instance, this situation directly correlates to me and you, which is definitely of interest to me, so I like to keep track of it. It's quite interesting in general, but in this particular context, it's especially imperative. Since I know you don't know all the numbers and such as I do, I'll go ahead and tell you."
Akechi paused for a second, as if he was waiting for a response, but Saiki only stayed quiet, his head tilted a few degrees down and his hands folded in his lap.
"Like the rest of your friends, I see you at school. We're in the same class, and whenever you don't deliberately avoid me, I like to talk to you about whatever topic of conversation comes to mind. Your other friends do have me beat in sheer number of locations. You've gone on several school trips and gatherings together, sometimes by choice. They've also intruded upon you by stopping by your house and persisting almost as much as I do. I think they've actually come in without permission before, haven't they? Anyway, as rude as they might be about it, they visit you much more frequently than I do, although since I'm comparing myself to multiple people. Actually, if you average it out, and exclude school, they each only visit you about once every two weeks. Of course, sometimes they'll visit you five times in the same week, but their visits are quite sporadic."
Akechi looked back up at Saiki searching for any sort of reaction before continuing.
"I visit you every Sunday, and an average of two times throughout the week. Every single time I visit you, I have to persist for a minimum of four minutes before being let inside. You always try to get me to leave, or shut the door, or even attempt to make it so that I don't want to return."
All of that, and he's still asking stupid questions? Why would he even think this if he knows I always-
"Do you know how many times I've been refused entry to your home?"
'Didn't you just say it was every time?'
"No, I said you resist every time."
...
"Zero times."
'What...?'
"Zero times, I've been refused entry to your home. Even if I'm standing outside for twenty minutes, I'm always allowed inside- whether or not your mother is home to scold you. Now I wonder if you tell yourself to protest my visits, or if you do it subconsciously, which either way, only further proves my point. Should you feel compelled to, you could scoop me up and throw me away from you, and it'd be very hard for me to return. Even if you wanted to be a good friend and avoid injuring me, you could simply float or teleport me away, and I wouldn't be able to do a thing about it."
What does all this have to do with what he originally asked?
"Of course, though it was long-winded and seemingly random, I assure you that there was a point to all of this. There are certain characteristics and behavioral differences that come along with romantic feelings, and I've been noticing some of the signs in you."
'Stop psychoanalysing me.'
"Ah, but without my psychoanalysis, where would you be now?"
Sitting here alone, with coffee jelly, reading a book and not being probed by you.
Akechi had said how he never turned him away, and now he was paying the price for not breaking the trend.
"You avoid me and seek me out simultaneously. It's something I've noticed happening more and more lately."
'Isn't that contradicting?'
"Yes, but people act in strange ways when they let their feelings affect them. Of course, being the type of person you are, you most likely didn't let your emotions change the way you act, but it happened anyway, because as much as you don't want to admit it, you're still human. I've been noticing the tiny little things that tell me you like me. You lean towards me the slightest bit, and no matter how much you pretend not to, you always listen to me, even if I go on a long spiel about some sort of irrelevant topic, such as the origins of origami, or the leading Shonen Jump mangas. You always let me spend time with you, no matter where it is, and no matter how long it takes you to cave in. I've seen the way your expression softens ever so slightly when you look at me. And as much as you don't want me to, I've noticed that you've gone so far as to hurt other people to defend my honor. I know people talk behind my back about how talkative I am, and how much they dislike me... and I know that you stop it."
Shut up. I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you...
"Thank you. I think it's very sweet of you."
Akechi's smile faded as he set his notebook down beside him.
"The only thing I don't understand is why you're not admitting to it. I spared you the embarrassment of a confession, which is what I imagine you were avoiding."
'Why would I admit to it if it's not true?'
"But it is. You do realize this is the first time you deny it? We've been talking here for twenty three minutes, and you haven't denied it until now. You've also avoided saying 'crush' or 'love'. I know it's true, Kusuo-kun, and I know you've been lying."
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
"I think the only fear you could possibly have at this point... Is the worry that your feelings aren't reciprocated."
Something tugged at the corner of his mouth for a second and he felt his face heat up.
"And..."
It was only a quick moment of silence, but it hurt- almost physically.
"You don't have to worry about that."
Saiki looked up at Akechi. His face was a bright red but he still looked as serious as he did when he was asking questions.
'You...'
"I um, I figured it'd be safe to say, since it's about a 99% chance that I'm right. And judging by the look on your face, I was right."
Saiki only realized he was blushing because of what he said. He cooled himself down as soon as he noticed.
They sat there staring awkwardly at each other for a minute before one of them had the courage to speak up.
'What now?'
"Um, well, I didn't plan this far. I figured I'd confront you, and prove that you were lying, but I don't know what to do, now that I've accomplished what I came here for."
'Do you feel fulfilled, now that you've thoroughly embarrassed me?'
Akechi giggled.
"Yes. Um, would you like to sit down next to me?"
'Why would I need your permission to sit on my bed?' he projected as he stood up and sat down next to Akechi.
Akechi smiled as he leaned his head on Saiki's shoulder, and relished in the fact that he wasn't immediately thrown across the room.
'Hey, what were you writing in that little notebook of yours, anyway?'
"Nothing."
'What?'
"I didn't write anything. See?"
Akechi picked up the notebook and turned it to the side to display three lines full of the boku kanji written tens of times over.
...
'You're a jerk.'