Chapter Text
Finding meaningful sleep proved to be difficult for Gibbs, despite the late hour, the bourbon and his sheer exhaustion, both mental and physical. He slept fitfully from 2:30 until 5:00, eventually giving up and wandering into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. The first whiff of dark roast as he opened the can turned his stomach and he put it back in the cabinet with a sigh. He turned the flame on under the teakettle. The headache he’d been nursing for the better part of 8 hours was full-fledged so he shuffled down the hall to the bathroom for Advil. He got a good look at himself in the mirror, groaning as he took in his red rimmed eyes, complete with dark circles. His hair, which desperately needed to be cut, was sticking up at odd angles as he never bothered to comb it after his shower. With a sigh, Gibbs yanked the medicine cabinet opened and rooted around for the Advil. He took 3 with a handful of water before wandering to the foyer and opening the front door. It was still completely dark out and the morning paper hadn’t even been delivered yet. Gibbs took a few deep breaths of the cold, fresh morning air, trying in vain to clear his head. It wasn’t really helping so he headed back in when he heard the kettle start to whistle.
As he poured the water for his tea, he contemplated what Tony had said in the wee hours of the morning. He knew he needed to really make an effort to set aside time to talk to Jack. The idea of a neutral site sounded a little ridiculous but having the much needed conversation at either of their houses was probably not the best idea either. That didn’t leave too many options, at least in Gibbs’ mind. There was work, which was not going to happen or the diner. Elaine was thrilled that Gibbs and Jack had finally found each other, she didn’t need to see both of them huddled together in a booth, in tears. Gibbs knew there was no way they would be able to have the conversation they needed to have without the tears, on both their parts. In fact, the anticipation of a messy, teary conversation, led him to believe that a public place in general was not a good idea.
Gibbs wandered around the house with his tea. He was so tired and downright miserable he decided to do something he hadn’t done in recent memory, take the day off. A quick email got sent to Vance and he’d send a text to Tim in a little while.
That left Jack. Did he text, call or let her figure it out on her own. All three had their merits. In the end he decided to do nothing, for the time being, as it was still too early to call or text.
Gibbs settled down in the corner of the couch for a little while, trying to just clear his mind and do some deep breathing.
At 6:00 he knew Tim would be up, so he sent a quick text.
JG-Taking the day off. I’m fine, just didn’t sleep
TM-Boss, I don’t believe for a minute that you’re fine. I’m here if you need anything.
JG-Thanks. I think I’m just going to try and sleep for a little while. Maybe head up to the cabin later. And no, I don’t need company.
TM-Okay but if you change your mind, about wanting to talk or whatever, you know where to find me. Does Jack know you’re not coming in?
JG-Not yet, I promise I will tell her before you get to work.
TM-Okay. Get some sleep.
JG-Thanks Tim.
Gibbs swiped the Messages screen closed. His thumb hovered over the green phone icon. Part of him wanted to just text his plans to Jack, another part of him felt that was cowardly. With a deep breath he pressed his thumb down to call her.
“Hey,” Jack answered softly, saying nothing more.
“I, uh, I’m going to take today off,” Gibbs all but whispered.
“Really?” Jack asked, surprised by his decision. “I’d ask if you are okay, but I know you’re not. And for that I’m truly sorry. Did you get any sleep?”
“Nope, not really. I’m going to head to the cabin later. The door will be open,” he said quietly, not exactly inviting her, but clearly open to the idea of her showing up. He was not sure what kind of response to expect or even what kind of response he wanted to hear from her.
“Uh, okay. I’m going to work at least for a while. I have a few sessions I can’t miss,” Jack responded, not really reacting to Gibbs’ plans for the day.
“Like I said, the door’s open. Bye Jack,” Gibbs said, ending the conversation abruptly.
Jack stared at her phone for a second, wiping away the tears which were starting to fall from her eyes. With a sigh she headed for the shower to get her day started as there was no sense in sitting on her couch in tears. She’d done enough of that the night before.
Across DC and the Potomac, Gibbs finished his tea as he wandered upstairs, eventually crawling into bed in the hopes of getting a little more sleep. He pulled up the weighted blanket, finding it as usual, oddly comforting.
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Jack got to work a few minutes later than usual as she made a stop at the diner for coffee, since she knew nobody would be delivering any to her office to start her day. Thankfully, Elaine was off and Jack didn’t have to explain why she was getting her own coffee.
Jack tried to pull herself together as she stepped off the elevator. She made it to her office, sniffing back a few more stray tears. Giving herself a little pep talk as she drank some coffee helped a little. Her schedule got pulled up on the computer. She had sessions with two agents who were new to her. They had been involved in a difficult case a few days earlier and had asked to speak with someone. Jack liked when agents reached out to her of their own accord, instead of being ordered to speak with her. It was much easier to engage them when that was the case. The only other appointment she had scheduled was with Dwayne Pride at 1:00. They didn’t speak with nearly the regularity they had in the months after he’d been shot a few years earlier, but he did reach out when he thought things were starting to spiral a little, or when he just needed some reassurance that what he was feeling was perfectly normal. And 99.9% of the time, it was.
Jack and Dwayne had also become friends over the years. He teased her about Gibbs and Jack urged him to make things official with Rita. They’d always been able to compartmentalize the two aspects of their relationship, the professional and personal ones, with little effort on either of their parts. Jack usually looked forward to their sessions, but she wasn’t too sure she was looking forward to speaking with him that afternoon. They always met over the NCIS secure video link and he knew her well enough that he would pick up on the fact something was wrong in the first 30 seconds of the session. But she would keep the appointment, it was the professional thing to do.
Just as Jack was skimming her email, she heard a quiet knock on the door.
“Jack?” Leon’s voice called softly.
“Crap,” Jack muttered as she ran a hair through her hair. “It’s open,” she called back, trying to convey the allusion that everything was fine, even when it was nowhere near fine.
“You okay?” Leon asked, making himself comfortable in the chair in front of her desk. Jack just let out an unladylike snort. “Yeah, didn’t think so. I assume it has something to do with the fact that Gibbs just took a sick day, of all things.”
“Yeah. And Leon, I’m not ready to talk about it, okay,” Jack replied, her tone pleading him to drop the subject.
“Noted. But when you are, you know where to find me,” Leon said as he held up the file he’d brought in with him. “Can you help me with this?” Jack nodded and he handed the file over. She reached for her glasses as Leon grabbed a lollipop.
They chatted for almost an hour, during which Tim and Ellie appeared in her doorway, clearly checking up on her. They quickly left, lollipops in hand, when they realized she wasn’t alone.
****************
As Jack finished up her second session and escorted the young agent to the elevator, she took a minute to glance down at the bull pen. The team, minus one, was huddled around the plasma, Tim clearly and comfortably in charge. Jack smiled at the sight of him, proud of how much he’d grown, both as an agent and as a man in general, in the few years she’d known him. Someday the team would be his, nobody knew just when that day would be.
Tim glanced up and caught Jack’s eye with a small smile. Jack gave a little wave and forced smile of her own. He stepped away with a few instructions for Nick and Ellie when Jack cocked her head in the direction of her office. Tim bounded up to the catwalk, long legs taking the steps two at a time. By the time he got to Jack’s office she was curled up in the corner of her couch. Tim closed the door behind him and pulled the chair from in front of her desk to opposite Jack, across the coffee table.
“Hey. I would have come up earlier, but we were in the middle of a case and I….” Tim stuttered a little.
“And you had no idea what to say when you got here,” Jack guessed. Tim just nodded. “It’s okay. I’ve actually been busy this morning. Thank God for that. So, what did Jethro tell you?”
“Not much. You’re thinking of leave both NCIS and DC. No details, which I’m assuming that’s because there are no details,” he said as he scooted down a little in his chair, stretching his long legs out under the table.
“Yeah, there are no details. I don’t know, I’m beginning to think maybe I’m just insane,” Jack spit out. “We’re just going to end up heartbroken and miserable.”
“Well, you are the sanest person I know. But as you tell all of us, all the time, you have to take care of yourself first, before you help others. I think it’s time you did that,” Tim responded simply. Jack just nodded. “Did Gibbs call you this morning?” he asked. “Sorry, none of my business,” he added a second later.
“It’s okay to ask, Tim,” Jack assured him. “He did call. Said he was taking the day off and probably heading to the cabin later.”
“Did he invite you to come up?”
“Well, if, the door’s open, is an invitation, then yes,” Jack snorted. Tim just laughed; a bit louder than he had planned on. The half-assed invitation was classic Gibbs. “I may head up tomorrow. I have an appointment at 1:00 and a few other things I need to get done before I wrap up the week here. And I don’t want to drive in the dark.”
“Yeah, maybe give both of you the night to think about what needs to be said. Other than me, does anyone else have any idea what’s going on?”
“Tony does. I’ve been talking to him pretty regularly since last summer. Just Facetimed two nights ago. He pushed me to talk to Jethro,” Jack explained.
“So, what you’re saying is that it’s all Tony’s fault?” Tim teased. Jack just nodded with a wry chuckle. “I’m glad the two of you are friends,” Tim added.
“I am too. It’s one of those friendships that just happened so naturally,” Jack said with a genuine smile.
“I’m going to go grab some lunch, you want me to bring anything back?” Tim offered as he pushed himself to his feet.
“No thanks, I’m good. I think I’ll just go out for a little fresh air before my appointment.”
“Okay, if you need anything, you know where to find me. And yes, that’s the same thing I told Gibbs this morning,” Tim added with a grin.
“And we both appreciate the offer,” Jack assured him.
Jack answered an email, listened to her voice messages and headed outside for some fresh air. It was cold but the sun was shining as she walked along the river. She took a seat on the bench she’d and Gibbs had long ago claimed as “theirs”. Gibbs’ offer, such as it was, got debated as she watched a few boaters who had braved the late winter weather to spend a sunny afternoon on the water.
In the end she decided to drive up in the morning, giving herself roughly 18 hours to think about what she was going to say.