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Published:
2021-10-10
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nothing gold can stay

Summary:

Team Flash comes together to tackle the greatest threat the world has ever seen—Barry's fugly new boots.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

When Cisco had moved away to start his new job at A.R.G.U.S, he hadn’t expected to be back at S.T.A.R Labs so often, especially not when he was so snowed under with work. But when he’d received Iris’ S.O.S, and the accompanying photo attachment, he’d known he had to act fast. By the looks of things, he hadn’t arrived a moment too soon. Iris looked like she was at the end of her tether.

“I’m sorry for dragging you out here like this, Cisco,” she said as they walked down the corridor towards the cortex. “I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“Hey,” Cisco said, stopping her with a hand at her elbow. “Don’t be sorry; I’m glad you called. This is an extreme situation, but Team Flash has it covered.” He patted her on the back. “We’re gonna get through this. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise.”

Iris nodded and took a deep breath. He took a second to steady her, waiting for her breathing to even out. Then he flashed her a reassuring smile.

“Okay. Let’s get this show on the road.”

The cortex was a bustle of activity. The gang was all there: Joe, Cecile, Frost and Caitlin, Chester, Allegra. None of them seemed particularly perturbed. Clearly they had no idea what was coming.

“Cisco!” Caitlin cried, and rushed at him.

The next few minutes were a rush of activity, hugs and greetings. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Cisco couldn’t help grinning as he hugged Caitlin and Frost, shivering a little at the chill, then Joe and Cecile, and Allegra, all of them delighted to see him.

“Cisco!” Chester said. “My man!”

“Chester P!” Cisco high-fived him.

“What are you doing here?” asked Cecile, beaming. “What, are you getting bored at A.R.G.U.S already? They not keeping you entertained?”

“Oh trust me, I have enough work to last me a lifetime, but these are extenuating circumstances.”

“Hold that thought,” said Joe. “You can tell us all about it once Barry gets here. He won’t want to miss you.”

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk about.” He clapped his hands. “Can I please have everyone’s attention?”

They all turned to him questioningly.

“Friends,” Cisco said. “Teammates. It’s good to see you all. I only wish it were under better circumstances.”

He glanced at Iris, who had a haunted look on her face. He gave her an encouraging smile.

“We have gathered here today to face a threat the likes of which the world has never seen. Over the years we’ve faced time wraiths, aliens, evil speedsters, and every flavour of metahuman imaginable. This new threat might be the most terrifying adversary of all. It’s going to take everything in our power to defeat it, but we must prevail. If we don’t, the consequences could be cataclysmic.”

They all stared at him, their expressions serious.

“Let me show you what we’re up against. I’m sorry to have to show you this. You, uh. May want to sit down.”

“Whatever it is, we can handle it,” Frost said.

Oh, to be so confident. If only she knew what was coming.

“Okay,” said Cisco. “Just… take a deep breath.”

He steeled himself and hit a button on the keyboard, bringing a photo on the screen.

They all recoiled in horror. Cisco surveyed them gravely. It was evident from their identical looks of fear that they understood the gravity of the situation. Cecile had blanched, and there was a greyish pallor to her golden-brown skin. Frost gripped the desk for support.

Joe removed his hat and held it to his chest. “God help us,” he said.

“I know,” Cisco said. “This has come as a terrible shock to all of us, but I need you all to stay strong. If we’re going to have any chance of beating this, we’re going to have to work together.”

Chester’s eyes were wide with fear. “Cisco, are you sure we can handle this?”

“It’s going to be tough,” Cisco acknowledged. “But I promise you we will get through this. Together.” He straightened up. "Now. Take me to him."

 

 

Barry stood in front of the mirror in the speed lab with his hands on his hips, turning back and forth to admire his reflection. The sleek lines of the suit, the gold detailing, crisp and perfect… and the new boots he’d just pulled on to complete the look.

Most people didn’t pay attention to footwear. Barry didn’t have that luxury. With all the running he did, he needed his shoes to be hardwearing, comfortable, and breathable, as suitable for endurance as they were for a rapid sprint. With these new boots, he’d achieved all three. Thanks to a lot of trial and error, some 3D printing and lots of tweaks to the specifications, they were perfectly sculpted to his feet, heat and friction resistant, and so comfortable he could barely tell he had them on. But best of all was the colour. It had taken a lot of swatches, but he’d finally achieved the perfect shade: a bright, gleaming gold. They caught the light as he stretched his leg out to admire them.

“What do you think, Gideon?”

“As an artificial intelligence, I am incapable of cognitive function,” Gideon said in her usual level tone.

“Yeah, but they look good, right?”

There was a sudden silence and the display went blank.

“Gideon?”

Barry frowned. His AI appeared to have shut down unexpectedly. Huh. Must have overheated. He’d have to check her over later.

“There he is!” said a familiar voice.

Barry turned around and a huge grin split his face. Cisco stood in the doorway, arms spread out wide.

“Cisco! Hey!” Barry sped over in a shower of sparks, skidding to a stop and pulling Cisco into a hug. “It’s so good to see you!” He pulled back. “What are you doing here?”

“Family emergency,” said Cisco. “I had a couple days’ leave from A.R.G.U.S saved up, so I thought I’d come down here and smooth things over. How’ve you been? How’s that suit holding up, huh?”

“Good. I actually made a couple of changes. Thought I’d switch things up. What do you think?” He preened, standing back a little with his feet firmly planted to give Cisco the full effect.

“Yeah,” Cisco said. “That’s, uh. That’s some alteration you’ve made there. You not happy with my design? I thought we talked about not messing with the suit, bud.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t really messing with it,” Barry said dismissively. “I just tweaked it a little. Looking good, am I right?”

“Uh huh,” said Cisco. His smile was a little strained.

Barry took him in again, concerned by his expression. “Are you sure everything’s okay? What’s this family emergency you were talking about?”

“Oh, Barr. You really have to ask?”

Barry frowned.

Movement behind Cisco caught his eye. Chester, Allegra, Iris and Caitlin had appeared in the doorway. Unease prickled down Barry’s spine.

“Is something going on here?”

Cisco rested a hand on his shoulder. “Barry. You know we love you, right?”

“Of course. But you’re kinda freaking me out here,” said Barry.

He tried to move around Cisco, but he sidestepped, blocking Barry’s way.

“Sorry, what’s happening?” Barry glanced over Cisco’s shoulder. “Iris?”

“Everything’s going to be okay, Barry,” she said.

“We’ve talked about this a lot and we’re all in agreement that we can’t let you do this,” Cisco said.  “I know you’ve been through a lot, and trauma manifests itself in various ways, but Barry…” His eyes were pleading. “Not like this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh,” Cisco said seriously. “I think you do.”

He looked pointedly down.

Barry followed his gaze.

“…You mean my boots?”

“Boots? Barry, those aren’t boots. Those are a war crime.”

“What?” Barry snorted. Then he saw Cisco’s deadly serious expression. “Wait, you’re serious?”

“Oh, I’m serious. I don’t want to hurt you, but if I have to, I will. I’m only going to say this once: take off the boots.”

“It’s a good look!” objected Barry. “They break up the red; it adds a pop of colour…”

“You can lie to yourself,” Cisco said, “but you can’t lie to me. They gotta go, man. Now are you going to take them off?”

“No,” Barry said defensively. “No, I’m not.”

“Then you leave me no choice. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to—”

There was a click and a sudden rush of cold, the familiar feeling of having his powers suppressed and one of his senses cut off, as jarring and unpleasant as losing a sense of smell. Barry looked down. A power dampening cuff dangled from his right wrist.

“Wha—”

Before he could react, Cisco launched himself at Barry and tackled him to the ground.

Barry hit the floor hard, all the breath whooshing out of him in shock. Immediately, Cisco climbed onto his chest, pinning him to the ground and squeezing him with his knees, practically choking him. Barry tried to turn over and wriggle free, but Cisco pinned him more forcefully, cutting off his airflow with a gurgle.

“Get the boots!” Cisco shouted.

“On it!” said Caitlin, and she dropped to her knees, grabbed the heel of Barry’s left boot and started trying to pull them off.

Barry slapped at Cisco’s thighs to try and force him off, and when that didn’t work, he fought dirty and tried pinching. Cisco squawked.

“Ow! Can someone get his hands, please?”

Iris grabbed Barry’s wrists and pinned them to the ground, which normally would have been Barry’s idea of a good time, but not when he was fighting for his bodily autonomy.

“Judas!” he shouted.

“It’s okay, Barry!” said Iris. “We’ll get through this.”

“You don’t have to do this!” Barry wheezed, squirming violently.

“We’re doing this for your own good,” Cisco grunted, pinning Barry down with his thighs. “Friends—don’t let friends—wear—gold—boots!”

Caitlin was turning red, still fighting with the left boot, her struggle made more difficult by Barry’s kicking. He felt something start to slip, a loosening around the ankle, and fear seized his heart.

“Please!” begged Barry, flailing wildly. “I’ll do anything!”

“You’ll thank us for this later, man,” promised Chester, who had inserted his fingers inside the rim of the right boot and was struggling to work it free. A vein pulsed in his forehead.

Suddenly, the right boot came off and Chester fell backwards, landing on his ass with a yelp. He held the boot aloft.

“I got it!”

“Help me with the other one!” said Caitlin.

Barry redoubled his efforts, but with two of them, he didn’t stand a chance. It was like the Avengers fighting Thanos for the Infinity Gauntlet, and he felt it start to slip, his heel sliding backwards as they pulled on his leg hard enough to yank it out of its socket.

“Almost there!” Chester said, his glasses fogged up and sweat beading on his forehead, straining with the effort.

“NO!” yelled Barry.

The boot slipped free and both Chester and Caitlin tumbled backwards, landing in a heap. Gasping, Chester freed himself from the tangle for long enough to throw both boots across the lab, out of reach.

“NOW!” shouted Cisco.

Allegra threw her hands out and blasted the boots with a stream of UV rays, blindingly bright. They all turned their faces away, eyes screwing up in pain, as the acrid smell of burning rubber filled the air, like tyres on a NASCAR track.

“It’s done,” said Allegra, lowering her hands.

Panting, Cisco rolled off Barry and lay flat on his back on the floor, breathing heavily. His cheeks were flushed. Caitlin and Chester collapsed to the ground, sweaty and exhausted. Barry sat up, the meta cuff still trailing from his wrist. His boots had been reduced to a puddle of molten goo on the floor, the same consistency as chewed gum. Black smoke billowed from the puddle. Barry stared down at what was left of his boots.

Why?” he whispered, looking up at them.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Iris said, crouching by his side to rub his back. “But you would’ve blinded the whole city with those on. There would have been car accidents.”

“I thought you liked them,” Barry said. “They weren’t that bad, right?” He looked pleadingly from face to face.

“Man, we love you,” said Chester, “but those boots? They were fugly.”

Nods agreement passed through the room.

Barry drooped like a flower that needed watering.

“It’s okay, Barry,” Iris said. “We’ve all made mistakes. Remember when I had a scene phase?”

“I can’t believe you killed my boots,” Barry said forlornly.

“It was a mercy killing,” said Allegra.

Cisco knelt and squeezed Barry’s shoulder. “They’re the boots Central City deserves,” he said, “but not the boots it needs right now.”

Barry sighed.

“Come on,” said Cisco. “Let’s rustle up some new ones, okay? And from now on, if you want an upgrade to any part of the suit, you call me. I’ll never be too busy to save you from a fashion disaster.”

“Okay,” Barry said forlornly.

Cisco clapped him on the back. “Another win for Team Flash.” He pulled Barry's tablet towards him and brought up a drawing program, ready to start sketching out a new design.

Barry sighed. "Well," he said, pulling up a chair, "since you're making a few changes anyway, do you think maybe we could add a little more flair? The suit's cool and all, but it's a little sparse on detail. I really like the little decals around the ears, but I was thinking maybe we could add some more—"

Cisco shushed him. "I think we've established you do not get any say in the design choices, okay?"

"I just think it would be cool if—"

Cisco shot him a look.

Scowling, Barry folded his arms and lapsed into silence.

"That's what I thought," said Cisco. "From now on, we're leaving the stylistic decisions to me."

Notes:

So, for context in case anyone missed it: for a few years now, Grant has been campaigning for Barry to have gold boots like the ones he has in the comics, and judging by some leaked set photos from season 8, he finally got what he wanted. Some men just want to watch the world burn. When I said I wanted Barry to start dressing more like a bisexual, I meant I wanted him to dress like a bisexual with TASTE.

I wrote and edited this in the space of about three hours in a haze of gold boot hate-induced rage so it may not be quite up to my usual standards ¯\_(ツ)_/¯