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Tommy didn’t even know why he was surprised anymore when he didn’t get an answer from his mom when he said he was going out. It wasn’t like this was anything new. She barely acknowledges him when he says goodnight anymore. It's always the same old “did you do what I asked?” Never “How was your day Tom?” or “Anything exciting happens?” or maybe even an “It’s nice to see you.” Nope never.
He wasn’t stupid he knew she was toxic, but he was only 17 what was supposed to do it’s until he turns 18. And she wasn't abusive, at least not physically. He was still fed and bathed and housed and healthy, but that doesnt mean she didn’t emotionally fuck with him.
Always playing the victim it's never her fault, and she's sorry she’s such a shit mother, and she’s trying her best. He knows he’s selfish for thinking that maybe he deserves better. There are kids who got dealt a shittier hand, at least he has a roof over his head and has clothes. But for fucks sake he’s allowed to feel bad for himself when he cuts his thigh every night hoping someone notices that he is in pain, that he doesn’t know how much longer he can do this.
Even some of his friends have stopped talking to him. Tommy hasn’t heard from Tubbo in a week and the last thing they talked about was some stream they were supposed to do. All business , the only personal thing was asking how he was. The only person who he has talked to was Wilbur. Oh how close Tommy came to just spilling everything to his older brother. Wilbur knows that Tommy doesn’t have the best home life, but he doesn't know the extent. Doesn’t know how many nights Tommy’s stayed up thinking about how easy to just slip into the bathroom and just take some pills and end it. Tommy has done that many nights.
There have been many times when Tommy has almost asked Wil to just take him away from his house and keep him safe from his own mind. To just shelter him and hold him close and tell him how it will be alright he’s just got to keep going. Tell him “Just a few more months, then you're 18 an you never have to go back.” or “I promise Tommy it’s not your fault.” That's all Tommy needs, is someone to tell him to keep going, that it will be alright. He needs someone to tell him that he's enough. That they need him, that he’s wanted and he's loved and he’s valued. But it seems he’ll be dead before they can.