Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Goodnight, Rubes.” She heard him alright, smiling like an idiot on her mattress and rolling slightly as if reduced to her pre-teen self who talked to boy for the first time over a phone. If Olivia or Anwar has seen her like this, she would lose her authority over them for sure and maybe it will even diminish her reputation at Moordale but at this moment as she’s thinking about Otis Milburn’s dorky face she couldn’t care less.

“I lov—” Ruby almost blurted it out as her endorphin shoots higher than ever recalling the double date she had with Eric and Adam earlier today. The eerie silence on the other end gives her dread and made her brain processing about what she’s about to do. After a moment, Ruby steeled her will and doused her flame of passion successfully. ‘It would be too fast, and possibly end badly’ she deduced based upon evidence of obvious tension between her boyfriend and Maeve Wiley of all people. Knowing Otis, as much as months in a relationship with the infamous Sex Kid offered to her, he’s still clearly indecisive of his unresolve and peculiar relationship with that girl; why else someone as timid and understanding as him cut two girls down in a middle of a party like he did if not for hormonal-infused teenage drama? Many might take Ruby for a basic bitch, she’s well aware, but she’s not as dense as many might take her for.

She abides by her reasoning, and flushing the desire to confess her love for him down to whence it came from; deeply locked away inside her throbbing heart.

“Um… Rubes?” Otis’s quizzical tone breaks her from her spell, Ruby clears her throat a little and produces a little noise of acknowledgment to her boyfriend. “What were you about to say?” never had she ever been this nervous and dreadful when talking to Otis, aside from that time he miraculously persuaded her to invite him to her house and meeting with her dad.

“Oh… um…” Ruby quickly rushing her brain cells to supply a very convincing substitute phrasing and quickly find one “I love today’s bowling. It would be… a welcoming activity if your friends should ever want to do it again.” It should be enough and, subconsciously, she knows that her words ring true; she does enjoy spending time with Otis’s circle of friends for it provided a sense of connection between herself and him more than physical ones that she excels at and she would be lying to herself if she says she doesn’t want to take this thing with Otis Milburn to the next level.

“Really?” the excitement in his voice tugs at her heartstrings and elicits a soft smile from her lips. ‘What have you done to me, Otis?’ she thought to herself, amused.

“Of course. Anyways, goodnight, Otee.” She softly bid him farewell for the night.

“Night, Rubes.” The softness of how he delivered her nickname chased away the chill veiling her heart and shines a light of hope for her. The call ended in a beep and Ruby took in a deep breath then got up from her bed, heading for her father’s room.

“Oh, didn’t know you are still up and about.” Her dad greets her with that loving smile of his and a ghost of smoke exhaling from his nostrils and mouth. Roland Matthews lounges comfortably in her parent’s bed, taking a joint absentmindedly while inspecting his lovely daughter.

“Just… something on my mind,” Ruby replied as she approaches the bed, she gently sits upon a stool at his bedside and takes his massive warm hand into hers then placing it on her cheek.

“What’s eating you, babe?” her da almost cooed her like a child, but as for his daughter’s sake, he toned it down a bit.

“I think…” Ruby trails off, feeling the caressing from her dad’s hand on her face and that spot on her ear always calmed her down quite impossibly fast.

“You are in love with that Otis fella?” her dad easily read her mind and Ruby will forever wonder how.

“Dad!”

“What? It painted on your face this evening. Smiling that pretty smile and nesting into him. Embarrassed when I told him how you never shut up about him lately.” Her dad pointing out his observations adoringly. “Rubes, dear, anyone who has a minute watching you with him can tell by miles away that you are smitten.” Her dad shot his tender smile at her.

Ruby kept silent and take comfort and support in his fatherly loving touch.

“Have I ever told you how your mum confessing her love for dear old me?” he feels as if he’s being pricked by hundreds of needles at the moment as his symptom manifesting right now, but he’ll not let his baby girl knows that and change the topic of their interaction because this is what he wants to do; being a father she needs and not a damaged and broken man she has to care for. His little kitten is conflicting and he’s more than willing to ease her mind even if it means he has to brave hell.

His baby girl shaking her head, Roland forced a convincing smile on his face and relocated his hand from her cheek to the top of her head. As usual, Ruby sighed contentedly and losing herself in his caring touch,

“I fell hard for her, Rubes, I poured my heart out to her in front of everyone and she just… walked away.” At least old memories like these seem to ease his pain a little, allowing him to properly recounting the event for his daughter “I was furious and hurt that we sort of ghosted each other for weeks. By the time that I thought; well, this is it, she demanded that we talk.” His story baffled her, how come that happened and how eerily similar to what she was considering not long ago.

“It was in a café somewhere at lunch, I’m fuming and she was so calmed and collected like always. If I remember it correctly, kitten, it was something like this;

‘Roland, listen to me before you do anything that we both will regret. I do feel sorry for walking out but I need you to understand that it does not mean that I feel lesser about us. We have agreed on a pact of sort that we will not lie to one another no matter what, and here to tell you that, as of now, I cannot properly reciprocate your confession with mine. It would be easier and a lie to said what you want to hear back there, but then it would be nothing more than a beautiful lie. I need time to be able to allow myself to say it with the honesty you deserve, and if this will end things between us, I’d like to let you know that I understand completely. I like you, Roland Matthews, met you at that subway bogey is the best memory I have. Our time together is nothing short of a delight and wonderful, and I would like to continue this relationship furthermore with you until I can say to you that I love you with all my heart and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I’m getting there, Roland, be sure about it.’

I was silent, loss for words. She left after a minute or two with this… look in her eyes and after a couple of days afterward, I accepted her reasoning. That was the best decision I’ve made in my life, dear, second only to naming you Ruby, of course.”

Oddly enough, she thinks that her mum resembled Otis in many aspects; both are honest and considerate but tactless when it comes to the matter of the heart, yet her mum reasoning does sound logical and Ruby is sure that if she followed through with her intention back then she would have received the same reaction as her dad was, the difference is that she might not be so level-headed as him.

“Such a sappy story.” She said without any ill intention rather than to tease her dad, he chuckles at her and softly ruffling her hair a little.

“You are one to talk, miss,”

“Thank you, dad.” She leans over him to give him a peck on his forehead with the love she harbors for this wonderful man.

“Anytime, Rubes.” Her dad whispers to her silently.

…

Nah, that’s not it.

Otis refused to even think that Ruby was about to say that.

Not that he detests the thing, rather because he thinks someone like him couldn't coax that out of freaking Ruby Matthews. The radiant, brilliant, wonderful, and lovely Ruby.

His inside swirling with clashing thoughts, that lingering part of him still thinking about Maeve as always, yet he also notices that as of late joyful moments that he spent with Ruby has taken residence as well.

“Huh.” He exclaims silently to himself.

…

Chapter Text

The engine of her convertible hums deeply as she approaching the front of his house.
It’s a new day, and this new uniform are quite irritating. It’s grey and monotonous in such a way that Ruby physically feels as if a part of her has been torn off, a rare artistry part that enjoy dressing up and combine clothes to create something unique and hers, at least there are still rooms to improve her look in this boring outfit and she take that as a challenge.
Ruby put her car to a stop and turns the engine off after a moment, taking deep breath to control herself, she’s sure that despite the status-quo of their relationship is well known doctor Jean Milburn aren’t quite fully accepted Ruby as her son’s girlfriend. She’s to blame, of course, for dismissing what between Otis and herself as merely a fling beforehand and didn’t care a whiff as to how his mum will think; partially it was because of how good at disarming her defensive shells Otis is, since that faithful morning-after fiasco when she might have hugging his waist a little bit unnecessarily tight or how she’d been smiling the whole trip on his bike, that her subconscious keeps yelling at her to not let missis Milburn have a chance to effortlessly demolish her walls like in The Two Towers since the psychiatrist must be another level better than her infamous son.
(Yes, she’s often referencing pop-culture things nowadays since she’d let Otis host most of their movie nights.)
She finds herself in front of the door, breathing nervously as she’s debating with herself whether or not to interrupt this serene morning for the Milburns. Abruptly, the door creaks open and revealed none-other than Jean Milburn who decided to greets her. The older woman looks fantastic in her navy-blue dress and that partially done hairdo. Her surprised smile eases Ruby’s mind a bit.
“Ruby! What a wonderful surprise!” Jean says in such a genuine manner that Ruby can’t resist a sweet smile as a reply.
“Good morning, doctor Milburn. Is Otee up and about yet?” It took a grand amount of will to not squeak when she is this nervous. Her eyes wandered to the kitchen where she spots the one that Otis used to date and a middle age man fumbling around pots and pans looking to be making breakfast, Otis is nowhere in sight. The peculiar fact will never not amaze her.
“He’s still upstairs.” Jean says and chance her hand on the small of Ruby’s back supportively, surprised that the famously mean girl of Moordale do not reject her touch, yet her effort to resist her instinctual urge is commendable. “Would you be joining us for breakfast?” before her very eyes, Jean swears that she saw Ruby Matthews’s protective shell shivers.
“I... I would love to, doctor Milburn.” Ruby said in this strange soft way that even Ola had to stop what she’s doing just to look in mild disbelief.
“Oh, please. It’s Jean for you, dear.” Jean reeled the girl in for a hug. At first, she felt how suddenly tense Ruby has become but after a breath or two her posture softens and she even felt small and delicate hands snaking around her waist as soft as humanly possible. “Glad to finally meet you properly, Ruby,” Jean’s phrasing left an impression of underline meaning that Ruby have noticed.
“Be quick about it then, or we will be late.” Ola interjected from behind dining table as she’s setting various items onto it.
…
As the softness pressed onto him, Otis groggily groans with annoyance, then a familiar whiff of fragrance hit his nostrils.
“Are you going to lay here all day?” Ruby’s sensual tone wakes him effectively, it also the fact that she had inquired while putting her chin on Otis’s chest so every word spoken vibrates through him.
“Ruby?” he says in this slur and sleepiness, half-doubting this sight he sees at such a time of the day.
“Yeah, it’s me. Now get up and be done in five minutes, I’m famished.” She ordered him as usual, but instead of just get off his unusually long body she just had to leave a peck under his jaw beforehand; she couldn’t help herself after the realization from last night.
“What?” as half of his brain is still fogged, he just couldn’t comprehend her words as easily but he got up immediately after the aftertouch of her lips left his skin. Ruby is in Moordale’s new uniform; curiously shorter skirt, garland and all, and she have never look cuter.
“Hurry up! We are going to have breakfast.” And with that she slipped past his room’s door and down the stairs, back to where everyone else has gathered.
“Breakfast?”
…
As Otis adjusting his tie and making his way downstairs, he spots Ruby is sitting somewhat nervously opposite of his mum, a chair beside her vacant for him. Her eyes met his and he saw her smile which in turn brought one to his face. He could faintly hear Ola made a choking sound unnaturally loud.
“Morning everyone,” he said to Jakob and Ola, then nervously turns to him mother “morning mum,” it’s good to see her smile at him again even if for a brief moment, he should work on this uncomfortable tension between them as soon as possible. He takes a spot at Ruby’s side and notices that her plate made up mostly of veggies and small portion of meat, as usual.
“Let’s dig in, shall we?” Jean announces and starts her plate, everyone followed and quietly having a breakfast.
They’ve finished when Otis placed his fork down, and Ruby absentmindedly take his plate from him to the sink, starts to clean it without much thought. Ola was taken aback, as well as Jean who is usually the one to do it. Jakob just leans onto the counter behind everyone and salutes at Otis.
“What?” Ruby asks after she turns to get the washcloth and aware of the stillness atmosphere; all eyes are on her.
“Who are you?” Ola blurted.
…
“Otis?” Ruby calls him out of his wandering, wiggles her hand for him to take as is the custom for them. When Otis seems reluctant her heart deflates a little.
“Yes?”
“What are you waiting for? Take my hand.” She almost practically palming his face in emphasizing. She sees him looking around like a kid who is about to steal some apple from a stall.
“What if Hope—”
“Who gives a shit about that?” a look of ridicule passing on her face.
“You could get in trouble, Ruby, I think it’s best we keep it under new rules at school.”
“Otis, I have a desire to hold your hand.” She insists, wiggles her hand in front of him. “Will you break your vow about condoning my wishes and requests—”
“Within reasons.” Otis interjected.
“Within reasons, of course, and since when did a girl wanting to hold her boyfriend’s hand in public became something unreasonable?” Ruby demands and finally take his hand into hers, felt his muscles taut a little but relaxed after a moment as he’s sighed in defeat.
“As you wish.” Otis halfheartedly whines as a jest and squeezes her delicate hand reassuringly, that alone was enough to eradicated her doubt from earlier. “But don’t say that I haven’t told you so.”
They walked down the hallway, passing by many of their classmates but her focus never leave the boy beside her. Small talks and occasional private topics have been exchanged between them while Olivia and Anwar keep some distance, about a foot or so, trailing behind the odd couple.
From afar, Maeve and Aimee muttering among themselves while their eyes never leave Otis’s back and Maeve averts her eyes after she saw that genuine contending smile as he’s laughing at something Ruby have said.
…
“Phew.” Otis whistles after a longer-than-usual kiss initiated by Ruby after his last upward thrust. Sweats glisten her smooth skin figure on top of him as she lay there quite satisfied.
This feels new to him, they have sex many times yet somehow something has changed between them; they are more fulfilling, more in sync, more tender and less fierce. Each seems to stretched on longer than what they are used to and the afterglow felt different.
He kisses the top of her head without much thought, and hear a sound of approval vibrate through his sternum where Ruby buried her face.
“You have made progress, Otee. At this rate you might ended up being sex master before long.” Ruby said with contend, planting tender kisses in pattern over where his heart is.
“That sounds so weird.” Otis comments and deposits her petite frame off of his body to his side, Ruby automatically laid her head on his outstretched arm.
“Turn it into a profession and you could make a fortune out of it, maybe you will able to provide for me and our hypothetical pale and unusually long children?” she prods his side lightly as to tickles him, recalling his words in front of the shop.
“Ha ha, very funny.”
“Do you think it will come to that?” Ruby inquired after a long silence where they lying on his bed and just enjoy each other’s company.
“Huh?”
“Us. Having children?” she giggles slightly at his expression after he’d interpreted her question.
“Well… if we apply proper protections and medications…” she adores when he’s stumbling for words, she’s so doomed.
“No, silly.” Ruby shaking her head slightly, a smile plastered on her face as if meant to stay there for eternity. “I mean this,” she’s pointing alternatively between themselves.
“Oh!” he gulped air as if drowning, contemplating her inquiry with every fiber of his being to produces an appropriate answer. He is torn between honestly blunt and compromisingly vague.
“Am I making you uncomfortable?” her voice softens and posture nervous, brows furrowed as laying her palm softly on his pectoral; sure, she does wonders about this sometimes but there’s no reason she should burden him with her uncertainty, she should not bring this up in the first place.
“I think,” Otis starts just when Ruby was about to divert his mind to another topic “no one can be certain when it comes to this kind of wonderment. Some may be sure while others cannot cement any solid foundation in their shared time, nature of context we can apply to any kind of relationship as well.” He talks and talks, a lifetime ago Ruby might have called it a rant but it eventually grew on her. She keeps silent and softly patting her hand on his chest as encouragement.
“I have been shitty to mum lately, partially because I thought that she’s the only person in my life that will withstand my whirlwind of emotions because, well, she’s my mum, you know?” Otis never averts his eyes from the ceiling as he spoke.
“Otis,” Ruby takes it as her cue to offering her insight after a minute of his silent and softly brushing her knuckles “we are teens, even the best of us make mistakes as we grow. It’s natural for you to act shitty to adults in your age but you have to always make it better for those you wronged, especially the ones that loves us.” She rehearsed it as best she can, recalling when she herself had acted akin to what Otis’d just confessed of doing to her own parents shortly after the revelation of her father’s condition, the difference is that her mother masterfully delivered it much harsher.
Otis is pleasantly shocked by her meaningful and matured advice, until a memory of her home slotting itself into the perspective; of course, Ruby must have been more matured than he is considering a difference between their upbringing experiences whereas his being nothing short of loving and care from his mother that eventually appreciation devolved into indifference, Ruby’s propelled her past teenage ignorance to be able to wholeheartedly realized just how much a definition of family means to her.
He’s starts to feel resentment towards himself right at the moment, not just because of how he’d treated his own mother but many people revolving around himself for months. He wants to make amend, just not sure how.
“That’s… really great, Rubes.” Otis whispers to her, a weak smile attempted to make itself appear on his face but only a mild grimace surfaced.
“Do not let it be too late for you to fix things, Otee.” She kisses him then, deeply and passionately, as to conveys all of her heart into him whether or not he will be able to deciphered it. She gets up from the bed after a short while and reaching for her discarded garments.
“I thought you won’t get home for another hour?” Otis asks and propping himself up after her, his brows slightly knit together.
“It’s dad. He’s feeling bad today, I need to be there for him.” Ruby shows her phone to him, on the screen there is a conversation between her and Roland and her response promising to be with him as soon as possible, sent ten minutes ago.
“You sure you don’t want me to tag along? I think I have some vinyl that might cheer him up.” Otis points to his shelf of collection, Ruby let out a light chuckle.
“Don’t you have something more urgent to do than impressing your girlfriend’s dad?” she kisses him, it’s chaste but sweet as always, and cupping his jaw between her palms to look him straight into the warm oceans of his eyes “Apologize to your mum, admit how shitty you have been lately and talk to her. You can’t afford to lose that woman, trust me, darling.” This is the first she had use darling to call someone out of adoration instead of ridicule.
They say nothing, just staring into each other’s eyes as if hexed by a witch.
…
“I’m sorry for ruining your afternoon, Rubes.” Her father said softly as cannabis finally taking an effect, laid out on his usual spot on his bed.
“Nonsense, dad, you could never ruin anything for me even if you tried.” Ruby replied with a smile, lovingly caressing her Roland’s bearded chin. Her father hums in contend, slowly falling asleep to the touch.
“How are things with Otis?” Even though clouded by tiredness Roland have to conformed a question that must be of interest to her, to show that he’s invested in her wellbeing and daily-life and that she can come to him for anything.
“Oh, the usual. I picked him up and dropped him off, we chatted and shagged, that sort of things.” Her dismissive nature brings a dreamy smile to her father’s lips as he’s chuckles softly as a response.
“Should I be expecting to walk you down the aisle soon?”
“Dad!”
“At this rate you might ended up going to his house early in the morning and make him breakfast every day.” He delivered it in such a manner of jest that Ruby can’t help but fall into a fit of giggle.
…
“Mum?” Otis quietly knocks the door to his mother’s bedroom. It’s almost a middle of the night but he can’t seem to lay down on his bed, his earlier conversation with Ruby drives him on edge and he knows damn well that he needs to do something before this tightness in his throat asphyxiated him. “Mum, can we talk?” the stillness of the house calls up some nostalgic feelings to the surface of his mind, memories of yore that it’s always been just the two of them milling around laughing, singing, and dancing as if there is no worries in the world, a haven.
Not long after, the door silently creaks open and his mother stands in her night gown with a concerned and serious expression looking at him as if to ask ‘what is it?’
“I… I…”
“Is everything alright, Otis?”
“Can we sit down somewhere?” Otis gestures to the couch for her. Jean makes her way there after a moment of consideration. The arrangement of seating surprised her as it is more akin to therapy session.
“Did something happened?” Jean chases away her grogginess to assert the situation at hand as best she could. Her son’s expression screams turmoil and conflictions, understandable result of teenage hormones.
“I want to say I’m sorry.” Otis speaks after a long and considerate pause on his behalf, Jean sits across with her brows raised. “I’m sorry for being a dick. I’m sorry for hurting you with my words. I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done in the past few weeks.” He keeps his eyes on the floor, unable to look directly at his mother as he’s contemplating what to say next.
Jean sighs and get up from her cushion, approaching him silently as to not provoke a scared puppy. She gently plopped herself down beside him, unsure of whether or not this is too close a proximity to his liking. Her doubts dissipates almost immediately when she felt her son’s ruffled hair on her shoulder.
Either of them can’t be sure for how long that they’ve sat like that before Jean starts humming a tune that she recalls to be one of many used to lull Otis to sleep when he was much younger. She rocks her son and herself side to side slowly, with a smile of fullness that long since forgotten.
“We make mistakes, darling, but how you deal with the consequences of your action is what separated good people from bad people.” Jean said it almost like a prayer, placing her hand softly on the top of Otis’s head, smoothing his hair absentmindedly like she used to do after his father had left them. She felt him quivering as he’s resist the urge to sob.
“I don’t want to be forgotten.” Otis whispered out with a cracked voice.
“It will never happen, my dearest son, you are a part of me as much as I’m yours and nothing in this world can change that.” Oh, his confession shines light on many questions and, in a way, it also explains a lot. “No matter how many new babies I have, and let be honest this might be the last possibility of pregnancy I will ever get, you will always be my son. I love you with everything I have since the first moment I saw you, I remember your first cry when you were brought into this world, the softness of your tiny hand that enclosed my finger.” Jean says to her son while keeping her hand on top of his head and smile to the nostalgia that might never cease from her memory.
“I’m sorry, mum.” That is all Otis could managed before his throat closed and he can only cry silently into his mother’s shoulder, encasing her thin frame with his towering posture.
…