Chapter Text
It was around midday in Surface Ebott city. Streets busy with people going back and forth.
At a particular dinner, there was a human seated at the counter chatting vibrantly with the waitress, a pop cat monster.
“But, you know, why don’t you employ someone to clean for you?” Catty laughed at your misery while preparing some milkshakes.
“Because I don’t have a regular agenda. I mean, sometimes I will need once or twice a week, but sometimes I will only need after a month.” You gruff between eating your fries. “Also, dealing with those cleaning companies is a pain in the ass.”
“Cheapskate” she hummed, before announcing to the other waiter that the milkshakes were ready.
“No, I am not. I just don’t like strangers at my home.” You pointed a potato in her direction “If I was, I wouldn’t be eating take out every day. Everybody knows it is cheaper to eat homemade food than buy.” You stated matter of fact.
“Unless, you know, ate junky.” She said serving you your hamburger.
“I would die.”
Your mouth watered at the view, not losing time before digging in.
“Like, I know what you need girl.” She leaned on the counter, head supported by her paws and tail swinging mischievously.
You raised a brow to her in motion for her to keep going.
“A hot husband.”
Munched food almost came flying from your mouth, but your hand was quick enough to trap that inside.
“Did someone said, like, hot husband?” the crocodile monster approached curiously.
Catty and Bratty today oversaw drinks, so when all clients are served the beverage, they can get a break, even in rush hours. And today, decided to use their free time to pester you while you were in mid of a rough cough.
“You got it right Bratty. Like, think, a super-hot hubby doing all the chores while little (Y/n) work.”
It was funny to see them talk like you were not the subject.
“OMG Catty, and when she arrives home, he, like, hold her in his arm. Best. Scenario. Ever.” She just arrived and was already shrieking with her best friend “But, why are we, like, talking about her husband?”
“Because IT’S OBVIOUS she needs someone to take care of her home, aka, a househubby.”
After taking a deep breath of a near-death experience you finally understand where she is coming from.
“I decline,” you said with torn eyes looking for your glass of water.
They made a childish fart noise with their mouth.
“I don’t need a husband. I am great by myself.” You tried to convince them to give up on this silly subject.
“We know” Bratty started crossing her arms.
“But you’re always busy and hate stuff like cleaning” her friend added.
“And laundry”
“And dusting”
“And any type of house chore”
“You like fresh-made food.”
“Also, we don’t even know why you have a fridge if you don’t even use that.”
They kept going, ignoring your bothered face. If it wasn’t about you, you would be impressed by their synchronization.
“Okay, okay. I got it.” You admitted frustrated, earning twins smug smirk “But that doesn’t mean I need a husband. I hate house chores, but I do them in my free time. And ordering take-out doesn’t hurt my budget, you know my work always pays off. About the fridge… you may be right. I should sell and buy a mini-refrigerator just for leftovers and drinks.” You mumbled the last part.
They didn’t look convinced before Catty eyes shined.
“OMG Bratty I had an idea!”
“OMG Catty, tell me.”
And they entered their own world again. You just observed while digging in your meal.
“What if we, like, told that to that guy!”
“You are a genius! He will totally be up for this.”
You just sighed, seems like this subject won’t die easily. You should just deal with that.
The two monsters kept mushing about the details and trying to indulge you to be open-minded about the idea. Taking turns between orders and talking to you.
What the human didn’t notice was a very familiar skeleton sitting in the booth close to the window. He caught everything about that conversation…
And needed to set his game.