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Chandler has only so little time to jump out and stuff his last night fun’s face in the mattress before Ross barges in the second worst moment possible.
Chandler does not want to think about the first one.
„I’m getting married today!”
Wow, Ross, that information was sure worth breaking into my room. I couldn’t have possibly survived without it.
„Who-hoo!” The soon-to-be groom raises his hands up in the air, excited.
”Morning, Ross.” Chandler grits out, visibly uncomfortable.
Ross doesn’t see that, or doesn’t care.
Honestly, he looks drunk. Except he wouldn’t get drunk in the morning. On his wedding.
Maybe that’s what „drunk in love” means. Not that Chandler will ever know.
„I’m getting married. To-day!!!”
Yeah, I got that the first time, back when you looked like you just left Wham!
”Yeah you are!”
„Ah, whoo-hoo!”
I also got that the first time.
Ross left. Thank all the gods that used to be there, probably.
The covers move a bit, then they suddenly jump back, uncovering naked Joey in all his glory.
Chandler silently congratulates himself on the lazy rhyme.
”Do you think he knew I was there?” Joey asks, which is pretty dumb of him, considering Ross would probably have a different reaction then. Chandler just shakes his head.
He’s pretty adorable, startled.
Chandler finds himself staring at Joey’s chest, so he machinally averts his eyes.
Then he remembers he doesn’t have to do that. He did kind of come out of the closet with the whole gay sex thing and all.
He should probably say something.
”Well…
I-I’ve never done that with you before.”
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.
”Nope” Joey says, staring at the covers.
All Chandler’s sirens are blaring the oh-so-familiar GAY PANIC alarm except now it’s three times worse.
„So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?”
He isn’t controlling his mouth at all.
He should sort it out.
1. He had sex at Ross’s wedding. Not what friends do.
2. He had gay sex. Not what straight people do.
3. He had sex with Joey. Not what men do.
4. Joey is saying something.
„Yep, yep… you?” Joey is obviously struggling, probably because he can’t use the „beer and het porn” excuse now.
”Yes…Yes…Uh-huh, you?”
A bullet to the head seems like a very nice option right now. Couldn’t damage his brain anymore if it tried, at least.
At least Joey finally makes eye contact.
”We did you.” Chandler blinks.
That came out wrong.
„Well…” Joey begins, and Chandler has never seen the man more uncomfortable in his life. Except those two times they never spoke of again.
”I’d better get going.” Joey frowns, staring at the covers again. Are the covers more attractive than Chandler or what?
„Yeah, yeah, absolutely.” Chandler blurts out.
Joey scoots off to the side of the bed.
„Could you… not look?”
„I don’t want to look.” Chandler assures him quickly.
Except that’s a repressed man’s lie and he knows it.