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Loki knew from the beginning, whatever this was he had going on with Mobius, it was simply too good to be true. A fragment of a dream his younger, much, much more naive self had. Because it wasn't real, none of it was real. To be loved the way he loved, that was fiction. Or at least it didn't happen to someone like him.
Mobius never felt the same. The affection Mobius showed — whether it be platonic or if it was something more — it was all a tool to get the informations the TVA needed from him, a dangerous variant, a villain.
In the end it was only a matter of time until Mobius abandoned him. They all did.
And Loki thought he heard himself laugh, when the Time Door shut in his face and he was suddenly, without warning, alone; completely stranded in this apocalypse with nothing to protect himself with. No food. No shelter. No weapon.
Mobius left. Just like that. But Loki knew he was the one to blame. After all it was you who thought Mobius at least pitied you, if the kindness Mobius gave was all an act to get what the TVA wanted. He was partly aware of himself falling on his knees, laughing brokenly, because what else was he supposed to do? If he wasn't laughing, Loki knew he'd be weeping, and he liked to think he still had the tiniest bit of dignity left in him, even after everything.
Right, he thought. It was about time. They were on a mission, a dangerous mission in a dangerous planet, an apocalypse. And while they'd had a blush with death just less than half an hour ago, they'd made it out alive. No, Mobius made it out alive.
If anything the only person Loki resented right now was himself. He should've seen it coming. But he'd actually seen it coming, he'd simply lied to himself — the way Mobius lied, the way everybody lied to him — that maybe this time it was different, Mobius was different. Although deep down he'd always knew he was meant to be alone. Mobius's suddenly abandoning him wasn't really surprising, though it did hurt. And that, that hurt gnawing at Loki's chest, was the worst of it all.
You fool. You knew better than this. He could leave you, that's how it works, he couldn't — shouldn't — have the power to hurt you. You gave him that power. Pathetic.
Loki stayed where he was, on his knees, facing the spot where the Time Door was closed in his face, before he could follow Mobius like a dog. And hated himself even more that the childish, naive part of him still hoped for this to be a mistake, for the Time Door to magically reopen in front of him and for Mobius to come back for him.
It wasn't a mistake, Loki knew that. This was a calculated plan; to bring him here where he couldn't find his way back before leaving him stranded.
And Loki knew he should be angry, should be cursing at Mobius. His only thought was, 'You didn't even say goodbye,'
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"Wasn't that a close call?" Mobius chuckled, though he was still panting, adrenaline rushing through his every atom. His heart was pounding frantically against his rib cage he could hear the sound of it, and was sure Loki could, too.
"We almost ended up being that thing's dinner," he went on. "I gotta say though, you absolutely rocked back there. Doubt I'd even still be alive without you," Mobius's voice softened when he thought about what happened earlier, Loki saving his life from the creature.
Maybe Ravonna was wrong about you. Maybe they were all wrong about you. But Mobius didn't say any of that aloud, though the soft smile on his face revealed his thoughts nonetheless.
"Loki?" Mobius turned around, when the only response he received was silence, and that, that was when he thought his heart did stop then and there.
The Time Door had closed before him, and Loki was nowhere to be seen.
Oh no, Mobius froze, panic crept down his stomach, making him feel sick. And Mobius rarely ever succumbed to overwhelming emotions, with his job involved him facing danger and uncertainty daily, he could feel himself losing it fast. Loki wasn't here, which meant he was still out there, in that apocalypse, and he was alone.
The first thing Mobius did after he could think straight, after his brain regained its function, was pull out the Tempad and set the direction at the place he'd just been. This should be fine. It was just... some technical error. He'd get Loki, bring him back. There wasn't any reason for Mobius to be panicked.
Was there?
He frowned when the screen of the device went blank. The Time Door, that should appear in front of him by now, still nowhere to be seen. Mobius tried again, and again when the second attempt was no use. And again because he met with the same result. He could hear himself murmuring the 'No, no, no, no' and 'Come on' frustratingly, but that wasn't helping.
"Damnit!" In the end he — in the heat of the moment, in the midst of desperation — threw the Tempad across the hall, frustrated and terrified. And it shattered on the ground.
Loki. Loki no. Oh god.
He needed to do something. Right now. But do what? That was the question. It rarely happened, but Mobius had heard about it being the case before, once or twice, the glitches causing a malfunction in a Tempad. And it could be deadly for an individual possessing the device, if occurred at the wrong time.
Like right now. Loki was out there, stranded in a place where surviving was almost impossible a task.
Mobius knew, as hard as it was, there was no time to panic. Every second meant life or death, and he needed to act fast.
Though if anything he was taken aback by the fear — the terror — threatening to devour him whole at the thoughts of anything happening to Loki. Why do you care this much? He could worry about finding an answer to that question later.
Right now Loki needed him.
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"We need to go back," it wasn't a question, as Mobius barged into Ravonna's office.
"Mobius?" The look on her face said, 'You're back!' She was smiling... half-smiling before her expression schooled into the mixture of concern and confusion when she saw the look on Mobius's face
"I need to go back there," Mobius said, now standing in front of her desk. He was trying not to shout, and wasn't doing a very good job at that.
"Back... where?"
"Loki, he's..." Mobius paused, taking a deep breath to cool down the overwhelming emotions flooding through him right now.
And to think he'd been programmed to keep any and all feelings out of the way, trained not to let them interfere with his job. Mobius was terrified. He didn't remember when the last time he was this terrified was. The mission was a success, Loki's getting trapped there couldn't possibly jeopardise the case that was deemed closed the second Mobius returned to the TVA, but Loki's life was in danger, and it was all Mobius could think about.
"Loki's still out there," he said, when he trusted himself to be able to speak without ending up shouting in Ravonna's face. "The Tempad acted up. There were glitches, I don't know, but the Time Door closed before Loki got here, which means he's still out there, and I need to get him back."
Ravonna looked at him. For a moment she was silent and Mobius couldn't exactly read her, what was going on in her mind, but he didn't like the silence. It felt like it was lasting forever and Mobius was losing the tiny bit of sanity he had left, fast.
"You want to go back to that place... just to rescue a Loki variant?"
"I need to, alright?" Mobius was struggling to contain in anger in his chest.
"Mobius," she was looking at him, and he didn't like the look she gave him, the way she was staring at him like he'd gone mad, or maybe he did. "You... you'd just been there. You know how dangerous the place is. I'd never ever send you there in the first place, if it wasn't necessary for the task. And you're telling me you need to go back just to, what, collage a variant pet you left there?"
"He's not a pet, no, that's... that's not the point." The air Mobius huffed out felt hot against his lips. They were wasting time, the time Loki couldn't afford to waste.
"And what is? You've gone soft, Mobius."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you have. You've always been soft, but this? Do you even realise you're asking me to put your life at risk again for a Loki who cannot be trusted?"
"He saved my life, alright? He saved my life out there."
"And what if your luck runs out this time? What if it's all Loki's plan to get you back there so he can kill you?"
"So he can what?" Mobius wanted to laugh, really, he wanted to, and he found nothing about the situation funny. "If he wanted me dead, I wouldn't be here talking to you right now —"
"Mobius, I —"
"He saved my life, Ravonna. Out there, he had my back. You think he'd do that, if he was plotting my murder?"
"I know you like him,"
"That is not what I'm saying," Mobius was losing his temper fast, and he was afraid he was going to say something, he'd end up regretting, to her.
"No, but you're asking me to put you out there again, knowing how dangerous it is. And I don't think a Loki is worth it,"
"This is not about what you think." He hadn't meant to raise his voice. Mobius was aware of how... deranged he looked, considering the way Ravonna was looking at him. He sighed and ran a hand down his face. His eyes were closed for a moment, because he was seeing red spots everywhere. Fuck, he was angry and he was scared, those were the emotions he wasn't familiar with.
"Listen," Mobius said after a moment of dread silence. His voice was now calm, but it was taking a lot of effort for him not to outright yell. "Loki doesn't have a lot of time and we can't be... I can't be arguing with you like this. You're my friend, Ravonna. And I understand that you think it's risky for me to go back, it's not worth it, but with all due respect, this is my decision and I'm going back there for his rescue with or without your help. So I'm asking you, as a friend, could you help me? If our friendships mean anything to you, could you do that for me?"
Ravonna opened her mouth, then she closed it with a sigh. But it was all Mobius needed.
"Thank you," he said. "Thank you. I owe you this time,"
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Mobius didn't hesitate to lunge into the storm the second the Time Door was opened in front of him. The place was as much of a hell as the last time he was here, but on the bright side, he didn't need to look for Loki for too long. A figure crumbling on the ground, curling in on himself, grabbed Mobius's attention, and he felt shivers going down his spine — that had nothing to do with the chilling wind threatening to knock him over — at the sight alone. Because Mobius recognised him anyway.
"Loki!" He shouted, though his voice was completely overpowered by the raging rain pouring down on everything. The apocalypse, this was how the planet met its end, the flood. And Mobius ran as fast as he could, kneeling down beside him and turning him over, he never remembered feeling so relieved; Loki was alive, his eyes opened and unseeing, starring up at Mobius, but he was still breathing.
He's still breathing. Mobius had to take a moment for himself to breathe in that fact, let it anchor him so he wouldn't break. He's alive. You're not too late.
"I've got you," Mobius said, more to himself than to Loki, like he needed to hear that. "It's okay. I've got you now." He heaved Loki up, letting all his weight fall on him. The Time Door remained open before them, awaiting. And Mobius didn't waste another second, "Let's get you home," he said, before starting making his way there, with Loki clinging onto him.
"Let's go home, baby." Mobius said softly, (barely a whisper and he wouldn't mind, if Loki didn't hear that) disregard the pang in his chest — despite the relief he felt earlier — when he felt Loki tremble against his side.
(Frost Giants didn't get cold, but it was never about the cold, wasn't it? He was alone, stranded for longer than what Mobius could forgive himself, and Mobius didn't expect that to have no effect on even a God)
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Getting Loki to the warmth and comfort of Mobius's apartment was easy. What Mobius found difficult a task was getting Loki to talk after he helped him change into something comfortable, bundled in Mobius's blankets on Mobius's couch.
Because it'd been an hour since he was back. Back where? Back home? Mobius wasn't so sure if Loki would call this home, but Mobius did say, when they were still out there, Loki was coming home with him, and he could only hope Loki wouldn't take too great an offence from his without-thinking, with-too-much-emotions statement.
At least he didn't get hurt. Mobius checked and he wasn't hurt, not physically anyway.
"I... ugh... made you a cocoa," Mobius broke the silence gently, carefully placing the mug of hot cocoa on the tabletop in front of Loki.
(Part of him wanted to ease that in Loki's hand, wrapping Loki's fingers around the mug so that he was sure Loki knew it was for him, Mobius opted against any unnecessary touch for now, for Loki still seemed... unstable, which Mobius supposed was to be expected, after what happened)
He silently took a spot next to his Loki, keeping some distance even if every part of him wanted to pull Loki into the tightest hug.
Then they sat like that, in silence, but for some reason Mobius didn't want to say anything anymore, no... no, he actually wanted to. The 'I'm sorry. Are you okay?' caged behind his teeth, but if Loki wanted this silence, Mobius thought the least he could do was to give him that.
So the silence continued. For how long Mobius wouldn't know, time didn't really matter, until Loki trailed off. When Mobius started to think they were spending the rest of the night in silence, Loki slowly trailed off, though he didn't turn to meet Mobius's eyes. "I had a dream," he said. "This... recurring dream."
Mobius looked at him, and didn't interrupt when Loki paused. Though he noticed the slight shudder that went through Loki's shoulders. Loki's eyes glued absentmindedly on the mug in front of him. "That I actually belonged somewhere... to someone," he added. He was smiling now, but it looked sad, and something in Mobius's chest ached.
"It actually felt nice... to be... loved. Silly, I know. But at least in this dream I was actually... loved? That dream always ends with the sunrise, and then I wake and... it's reality I'm living in,"
"Loki..."
"What made you change your mind?" He cut him off.
"Beg pardon?" Mobius was... confused.
Loki turned his head to look at him, and their eyes locked, and he looked like he was confused why Mobius didn't understand the simply question. "Back in the apocalypse, you... you left me," there was pain behind his eyes, Mobius could see that clear as day. And if there was supposed to be anger on Loki's face, Mobius saw only pain. Pain and confusion.
"Loki, wait... you... you think I... left you?"
"Which I understand. I do! It was only a matter of time, wasn't it?" He quickly said, like he thought it was fault if Mobius were to get mad at him for even asking. He looked away for a few seconds, when Mobius was too stunted to find a word, then he looked at him again. "But why did you come back? You didn't have to --"
"Loki!" That came out harsher than Mobius meant, and he mentally cursed at himself when Loki flinched and shut up.
"You think I? God, no..." Mobius took a deep breath. He was... angry, but he certainly wasn't angry at Loki but at the idea that he might have treated Loki that badly the whole time that Loki believed he did abandon him, especially when Mobius knew of Loki's... abandonment issues. (Which he couldn't really blame Loki, not after everything Loki went through)
"I didn't abandon you, Loki. The Time Door closed before it was supposed to. I... I thought you were here and when I turned around and you weren't, I tried to get you back as fast as I could and I'm..." Mobius swallowed, the lump in his throat was making it hard to keep his voice from cracking. "I would never leave you, not you, baby," and the pet name, too, came out on its own before Mobius could stop himself, though Loki didn't even seem to be bothered by it.
If anything Loki looked surprised by the sincerity in Mobius's now-teary eyes, like the thought of himself not being abandoned was so strange it was so hard to believe.
"I'm sorry," Mobius said, gently touching Loki's arm.
"Not your fault,"
"It was. I should have... that shouldn't have happened, I should've prevented it. You could've been hurt. You --" A tear rolled down Mobius's cheek as he swallowed down his sob. "I could've lost you."
"Mobius --"
"I thought I lost you and... and I'd never been so terrified," He was letting it all out. Mobius was letting it all out and he knew he was never good at expressing his feelings, he couldn't stop himself now. Loki deserved to know that; he deserved to know, for once, someone wasn't going to abandon him.
And then Loki's lips was on his own, soft and gentle and Mobius melted into it. His tears on Loki's cheek and Loki's tears on his.
"You'll never lose me," Loki said between the kiss, and Mobius pulled him in to kiss deeper, tasting Loki's tongue on his own, and fuck he was addictive. This was addictive, they couldn't get enough of each other.
"Don't let me go," Loki whispered against Mobius's mouth when they eventually had to breathe. Mobius's hand on the back of his head and Loki's pressed gently yet firmly on Mobius's cheeks, cupping his face like he was a treasure. "Say you won't let me go,"
And Mobius knew what Loki meant. For a moment the overwhelmingness of it all was almost too much.
Don't let me go, for I am home. I am finally, finally home. With you.
Mobius swallowed. He kissed Loki again, and when he next spoke he'd never said a truther word, "I won't. I'll never let you go, baby."