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Seungmin woke up this morning feeling, well for a lack of better words, he felt like shit. Yesterday's dance practice went a lot worse than expected and Seungmin was really feeling down on himself today. Logically he knew that no one was seriously upset with him, they were all so tired from comeback preparations that none of the guys would have even noticed that he had messed up if he hadn't said anything. At this point the dance practice isn't even needed as all of them had memorized everything already, the only reason they had it was to please their manager and show him that they were taking this comeback seriously.
After thinking through all of his options, he reluctantly pulled himself out of his bed and gathered all the things he needed for a shower. He could hear the other guys already awake and downstairs, probably eating breakfast and playing video games. After being able to get in and out of the shower without anyone noticing that he was awake,he headed back to his room to basically hide. He wasn't exactly sure why he was avoiding everyone, he just knew that he was embarrassed for messing up.
He was only allowed about an hour of wallowing in self pity, before he heard footsteps coming up the stairs and stopping in front of his bedroom door. He braced himself for the questioning that was about to come.
“Minnie, can I come in?”
It was Chan, that only made things worse in Seungmin’s eyes. Being the leader (and basically the father) of the group meant he knew when one of his boys had something on their mind. Letting him in, meant admitting that he was letting his intrusive thoughts get the better of himself once again. After waging a small internal war with himself about whether he should ignore Chan or not, he finally decided that he might as well just talk to Chan and maybe get all of this off his chest.
“Yeah you can come in hyung”
As soon as he opened the door, Chan knew something was wrong with the second youngest. Seungmin was lying on his bed wrapped up in his blanket, completely avoiding looking at Chan. Just seeing the look on Seungmins face made Chan want to cry. He slowly made his way over to the younger’s bed and sat next to the cocooned boy.
“Minnie are you okay, you’re usually downstairs by now. Is there something bothering you?” Chan looked worried and it made Seungmin start to feel guilty about avoiding him instead of just talking to him.
Seungmin sighed and sat up fully on his bed, still wrapped up in his blanket cocoon. “Hyung, do you remember last night’s dance practice? When I messed up that one move in the middle?”
“Minnie, are you mad at yourself for making a mistake yesterday?” Chan was kind of taken aback that this is what was making Seungmin look so miserable.
“I mean kinda, It’s just...our comeback is coming up super quick and I don’t want to mess anything up for us. Especially not after winning Kingdom, I just don’t want to give people a reason to write mean things about me online again.” By this point Seungmin was crying, even though he tried so hard not to.
Chan felt his heart crack as he watched his Seungmin cry his heart out. He scooted closer to Seungmin and carefully wrapped his arms around him, letting the younger rest his head on his shoulder.
“Seungmin listen ,all of us made mistakes last night and that's okay. All of us are so tired from all of the meetings and lessons, none of us had our hearts in practice last night. Now I'm not saying that you’re not allowed to be upset because you are, I’m just saying that everyone makes mistakes and no one is mad at you. Okay?” Chan always knew what to say to make everyone feel better, including Seungmin.
“But about the comments online, I thought we were taking a break from reading those. Especially after what happened last time?” Chan pulled away from Seungmin to properly look him in the eyes.
Seungmin looked down, mildly ashamed of himself. “I know hyung, I just wanted to find some nice things to cheer me up and I saw more hate comments than I expected. I’ve been working so hard to show them that I’m a valuable part of this team, but they don’t care. My voice isn’t sweet enough, I haven’t lost enough weight, I don’t wear enough makeup. I just wanted them to stop and see how hard I’m trying.” He was crying again and Chan quickly pulled him back into their hug and tried to comfort him.
“I know these comments are really harsh, but think about this. Have you ever had someone tell you those things to your face?”
Seungmin shook his head, sniffling.
“That’s because these people thrive on creating drama, I’ll bet some of them don’t even truly believe what they put out online. They want attention, specifically they want our attention. And when we see them and react, they get what they want. Again, I’m not telling you that you can’t be upset and I will never invalidate your feelings. I just don’t want you ending up overworking or hurting yourself by accident because of these comments you hear me?”
“Yes hyung, I understand. Thank you” Seungmin pulled away and smiled at Chan, tears still running down his face.
Chan smiled softly and wiped the tears off of Seungmin’s face. “Now let's get you something to eat and we can all have a relaxing chill day. How does that sound?”
“I thought we had some lessons later today?” Seungmin was confused, did he forget about a day off?
“Not anymore, I called Manager-hyung earlier and told him that we all deserve a break for at least a day.” Chan smiled.
“Thank you hyung, I love you” Seungmin said before hugging Chan again and getting out of bed to make his way to the door, Chan following close behind.
“I love you too Minnie”
The pair headed to the kitchen,where Chan was insistent to get Seungmin to eat something before he did anything else. Sitting at the counter was Changbin drinking his coffee and talking to Felix who was doing the dishes. When he heard the two guys enter the kitchen, he turned to see that Seungmin was finally downstairs.
“Hey baby, are you okay?” Changbin was immediately more worried about his boyfriend when he saw the tear tracks on his cheeks.
Seungmin made his way over to Changbin and sat down next to him, laying his head on the older’s shoulder. “I’m okay hyungie, we can talk about it later. I just wanna eat and then I really want you to hold me.”
Changbin wrapped his arm around Seungmin and placed a kiss on the top of his still slightly damp hair. “Well I can definitely do that puppy, I’ll hold you for as long as you want me to.”
Seungmin smiled and leaned further into his boyfriend’s touch as he watched Chan heat up some food for him while also teasing Felix about the cute apron he was in.
“Chistopher you literally bought this for me, shut up. I will smack you if you keep teasing me” Changbin laughed quietly at the ‘married couple’ of the dorm, who never seemed to stop teasing each other.
After Seungmin ate ( it was mostly just Changbin feeding him) the couple moved to Changbin’s room that he shared with Jisung, Changbin promptly turned on a movie that he knew Seungmin liked.
“Do you wanna tell me what was wrong now? I wanted to go talk to you earlier but Chan-hyung asked if he could go talk to you instead.” Changbin guided Seungmin over to bed and sat so they were facing each other.
“I just got really in my head again about some stuff but Chan hyung helped me stop overthinking, I think I need to take another social media break though. I don’t want you to worry, I promise that if I get like that again I’ll talk to you about it.” Seungmin felt more guilty knowing that Changbin was worried about him too.
“Baby, I’m gonna worry about you. It’s my job as a boyfriend, among other things. I just want you to know that I am so in love with you and whatever people are saying online will never change that. Okay?” Changbin felt like crying now, he hated that people made shitty comments so often. And he really hated that they couldn’t just leave Seungmin alone.
“I love you too Binnie, so so much” Seungmin almost started crying again but was able to hold it back, knowing that if he starts he won’t be able to stop.
Changbin leaned in to give Seungmin a soft kiss and then pulled him down so the younger was laying with his head on his chest. He pulled the blanket up over the two of them and wrapped his arms around Seungmin, holding him like he was going to fly away at any minute.
And when the others came to find them later, the two of them were fast asleep and completely wrapped around each other. They decided to leave them alone and let them sleep, God knows they both needed it.