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Brooklyn, December 1935
The city air was freezing as young Bucky and Rebecca Barnes stumbled out the front door of the house, their breath immediately fogging up in front of them as they pulled their coats tighter and adjusted their hats.
“Have you both got your mittens?” A voice called from inside the house. Their mother.
“Yes, Ma!” They shouted in unison, though Bucky went on, “And I’ve got an extra pair for Steve as well, just in case!”
“Good! Don’t forget to get potatoes while you’re out!”
“We won’t!”
With that, Bucky pulled the door shut, shoved his mittened hands into his coat pockets, and headed out towards the street with his sister close behind. Truthfully, he had been hoping for a day without any of his sisters to spend with Steve, but there was Christmas shopping to be done right now, apparently, and groceries to be bought, and for some reason Ma only ever trusted him and Rebecca to go together to do all that.
There had been a little bit of debate about whether Mabel, Elizabeth and Flora should come with them this time as well, but the two eldest Barnes children were adamant that they had their routines that they wanted to stick to for at least another year. That hadn’t been enough to convince their Ma, but the weather today had, with the sudden snow that had come down overnight, so at least that was something.
In any case, it had been a few days since the last time Bucky had seen Steve, so he was still planning to sulk a bit about having Becca tagging along — that was, until she slipped and fell on her ass in a pile of snow right outside Steve’s house. He decided that was retribution enough once he was done laughing at her and had actually helped her up, and decided simply to focus on the next best part of the day from then.
Seeing Steve.
Or, well, seeing what he could of Steve underneath the ridiculous number of layers he was bundled under, which Bucky was honestly surprised weren’t just dragging his best friend to the ground with their weight.
“Woah, you hidin’ somewhere under all that, pal?” Bucky teased, tugging at the front of Steve’s scarf to see the rest of his face, already pink-cheeked with the cold, “Think you’ll be warm enough?”
“Gimme my scarf back and I will be,” Steve swatted Bucky’s hand away to pull the scarf back up almost to his nose, “Just making sure I don’t get sick again.”
“Hm, that’ll be...what, only the ninth time this year? I’d say you’ve done pretty well so far, knowing you.” He chuckled, watching with amusement as Rebecca tried to dust off her backside for the hundredth time since getting up, “Bec, you’re just gonna get wet hands if you keep doing that.”
Rebecca huffed, thoroughly unimpressed. “You’ve got spare mittens.”
“Yeah, for Steve!”
She rolled her eyes.
“Not very ladylike of you.”
“You’ve got mittens for me?” Steve cut in, presumably with an eyebrow raised under his beanie. Bucky glanced back at him with a smile, the group of three finally moving towards the street once again.
“Always. Only if you need ‘em, though.” He said, “Otherwise she might swipe them.”
Steve’s eyes crinkled at the corners, “What’d you do?” He addressed Becca.
“Slipped up the footpath comin’ into your place,” She pouted as her brother snickered at the recent memory, “And someone did nothing to stop me from going ass-first into a pile of snow, just stood there laughing at me!”
“That’s exactly my role as your brother. Also, you say that like you didn’t laugh when Beth fell down the stairs and split open her chin,” Bucky jabbed her on the arm, “Also, I helped you up. So you’re welcome.”
“Thank you so much.” She simpered sarcastically, “And Beth falling down the stairs was different.”
“How?”
“It wasn’t me. And she made a really funny noise when she fell.”
Bucky rolled his eyes and looked at Steve as if to say can you believe her? Steve just shrugged in return, so Bucky gave him a light shove and anticipated the returned attempt at shoving him back, which was always really just an excuse to catch his best friend in a brief half-hug when he tried to shoulder against his chest. Got ‘em every time.
“Can we get coffee?” Becca requested the moment they walked past a coffee shop, nose turned up as if to try and smell the bitter grounds on the air as some kind of substitute for the real thing once the inevitable answer came.
“No,” Bucky said immediately, “If you’ve still got money after getting presents you can. I’m not pitchin’ in extra for you just because you want a drink.”
“Fine,” She grumbled, “Bet I’ll still be able to get one by the time we’re done, though.”
“Yeah yeah, we’ll see. What are you lookin’ for, Steve? Gotta get inside somewhere before we all freeze, anything along here?” Bucky gestured down the road, catching sight of a second-hand bookstore that would probably do if no one else came up with anything.
Steve seemed to follow his gaze, squinting towards the sign as he shivered. “Is that a bookstore?”
“Sure is, let’s just go there for now.” Bucky led the way over and held the door open for the other two, earning an admonishment from the owner for letting in all of the cold air once he closed it behind him. He offered an apology and a charming smile, which seemed to be enough to placate the old woman for now, then wandered over to give Becca some suggestions about books to look for.
Having sorted out his sister for now, Bucky went to reunite with Steve, who had seemingly found something interesting in one of the back corners of the store. Unsure whether or not his friend had actually heard him coming — he always assumed probably not — Bucky announced his presence by reaching out to tilt the book Steve had in his hands up slightly so he could see the cover.
“The Maltese Falcon?” He raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t realise you were into detective books.”
Steve shrugged and closed the book, “Not me, my mom. She’s always liked those Sherlock Holmes books, so I figured she might like this too. American detectives, for once.”
“Sounds reasonable.”
“I thought so.”
“You gonna get it?”
“Probably. ‘Bout as much as I can afford for mom this year, but I think it’ll be worth it. Hopefully I can get some work soon and get her something real nice next Christmas.”
Bucky nodded, noticing then just how cold Steve still looked despite having been inside this insanely warm shop for a few minutes already. Brows furrowed, Bucky cautiously set a hand on Steve’s back, “You’re still shivering, you want those mittens?”
His friend gave him a smile that looked a little too much like a grimace for his liking, “Dunno if mittens are gonna do much, but thanks anyway, pal.”
Bucky rolled his eyes, knowing that no matter how many times he asked Steve was never going to accept his offer of help on the first go. It was always easier to just do what was gonna help him first and deal with the complaints later. He quickly fished the extra mittens out of his pocket, grabbing the book out of Steve’s hands and holding it under his arm while he slid the too-big gloves over the ones the other boy already had on.
Wordlessly, Bucky passed the book back and unwrapped the scarf from around his own neck before wrapping it around Steve’s, bundled up with the scarf he was already wearing. Sure, he looked ridiculous now, but if he was marginally warmer, that was what mattered to Bucky. Less chance of him getting sick again now.
“How’s that?” He asked, stepping back to admire his handiwork — though pointedly not looking Steve straight in the eye as he spoke.
“So much warmer,” Steve said with a slight chuckle, “Aren’t you gonna get cold now, though?”
“I’ll survive. Got more meat on these bones than you do, punk.” Bucky teased, “Besides, can’t have you breaking your streak of not getting sick. Make it through this month and you’ll have beaten your all-time record for how few times you’ve been sick in a year.”
“Right, and how many times have you been sick this year?”
“Once, and that was ‘cause you gave me whatever that stomach bug you had was.”
Steve winced, “Oh yeah, that was a bad one.”
“Tell me about it,” He chuckled, “I had to do Mabel’s chores for her for a month to make up for throwin’ up on her favourite shoes. Honestly, I still don’t think she’s fully forgiven me for that.”
“I don’t think I would either, pal.” Steve laughed, swatting at Bucky’s hands when he tried to lightly shove him, “Puke in the shoes is nasty.”
Bucky rolled his eyes fondly, as he leaned over to pick up a book that had caught his attention on the shelf, “Whatever. Not like it was while she was wearing them or anything,” He flicked through a few pages and turned the book over to read the blurb, humming thoughtfully, “Actually, this sounds like something she’d read. Might get it.”
By the time they left the store, all three of them had at least one book wrapped in brown paper and tucked inside their coats ready to be hidden away somewhere else until Christmas Day. In the meantime, Rebecca had decided she wanted to go to some department store to look for some accessories or something to gift to the younger three girls. Bucky and Steve weren’t exactly enthusiastic about shopping for such things, though they were both fairly used to it by now.
And Bucky always found some way to make it entertaining.
“How do I look?” He’d found some ridiculous fluffy scarf that was almost definitely too expensive for him to be goofing around with, but he’d tossed it around his neck regardless and posed dramatically to get a laugh out of Steve.
Bucky tried to pretend the sound didn’t make his chest feel full, or his cheeks warm, or his stomach like it was full of butterflies.
Rebecca pointedly rolled her eyes at both of them as she went to pay for the hair clips she’d found, waving once she was ready to head out again, “I’m done with presents, I think. And I’ve still got money for coffee!” She announced proudly.
“Congrats,” Bucky drawled, “You got enough for all of us or just yourself?”
“Just me.”
He snorted, but started off in the direction of the nearest coffee shop regardless. “Typical. Steve, you want a coffee?”
“Nah, ain’t got enough change left.”
Bucky paid for Steve’s coffee, forgoing one for himself so he still had money to pick up the groceries his Ma had asked for on the way home. It was no big deal, he barely even drank coffee anyway, and he was adamant that Steve needed a hot drink more than he did to stay warm in today’s climate.
Steve huffed, but took a grudging sip of the coffee. “I’ll get you back for this someday.” He vowed.
Bucky grinned. “Whatever you say, pal. It’s just coffee.”
Steve went on grumbling about it, but by the time the groceries had been acquired and the group was headed back towards his house with Bucky walking close enough that their shoulders brushed — or at least, Steve’s shoulder and Bucky’s upper arm — he seemed to have gotten over it.
The cold really was biting at Bucky’s neck by now, frigid wind like a sharp knife against his exposed skin as he tried to pull his coat tighter about himself to cover up. He certainly didn’t regret giving Steve his scarf, but he was starting to wish he’d brought a spare one along with the mittens.
Rebecca side-eyed her brother, footsteps careful on the slippery sidewalk. Bucky figured she was trying to avoid the embarrassment of falling over again. “Where’s your scarf?” She queried.
He gestured at his best friend. Really, if Steve had looked ridiculously bundled up before, it was a whole new level of laughable now that he was practically shrinking into all of his clothes to avoid the chill. Bucky bit back a smile, and Becca nodded knowingly.
“Do you want it back?” Steve held up the end of the scarf in offering, “You look cold.”
Bucky waved him off. “We’re not gonna be outside that much longer, don’t worry ‘bout it.”
In fact, they were already on Steve’s street, his place visible through the light fog just up ahead — and once he was dropped off, the Barnes residence was only several more blocks away. Bucky wasn’t too worried about catching a cold in that amount of time, and even if he was, he figured it would be worth it if Steve didn’t catch one. Last time the other boy had caught something in winter it had turned into pneumonia and they’d very nearly lost him, he wasn’t about to risk that again. If it meant sacrificing his own scarf to Steve, so be it.
Bucky watched in amusement — knowing better this time than to offer help, with how his friend had gotten after the coffee — as Steve fumbled around amongst all of his layers to find his house key, eventually procuring it after what seemed like an arduous ordeal. After unlocking the front door, the smaller boy turned around to tug off the extra mittens and scarf he’d been given, but Bucky stopped him swiftly.
“Keep ‘em, it’s gonna be a cold night,” He said, hands clasped gently over Steve’s to stop him from moving further — nevermind how red his cheeks must have been in that moment, he was sure he could blame it on the chill, “I can come by tomorrow and get them.”
“Sounds like an excuse to come over, if you ask me.” Steve teased, at least not straining against Bucky’s grasp. His cheeks were flushed bright from the cold, too, Bucky noticed.
He grinned. “Might be. Is it such a sin?”
“Not really. See you tomorrow then.”
Bucky finally dropped Steve’s hands and took a step back. “See ya.”
“Bye, Becca!” Steve waved, and she mirrored the motion with a “Bye!” of her own.
The two Barnes siblings made their way back to the footpath as the door clicked shut behind Steve, and Rebecca took the opportunity to loop her arm around Bucky’s, which only signalled trouble for him. He was about to make some comment about making sure she didn’t fall on her ass again to avoid whatever topic was about to come up, but she beat him to the punch.
“What the hell was that?” His sister asked jovially, almost in a sing-song kind of voice.
Setting his jaw, he kept his eyes fixed firmly on the street ahead. “What was what?”
Becca scoffed. “Whatever that was.”
“Dropping Steve off at home?”
“And staring longingly into his eyes, holding his hands on the doorstep? Could’ve sworn I was about to see a movie kiss or something there.”
Bucky tensed, but didn’t push his sister away. “Can you not joke about that in public?”
Her smile faded a little. “Sorry. There’s no one around, though.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Becca pouted, but gave Bucky’s arm a light squeeze and spoke quietly. “Hey, you gotta stop trying to hide from me. I mean you’re already keepin’ secrets for me and Katherine. We agreed to help each other out with this.”
He sighed deeply, staying silent for a long moment before pulling her closer against his side as they plodded down the alley shortcuts back home. “I know, sorry. I just don’t want anyone getting found out, or in Steve’s case getting caught up in something he probably doesn’t wanna be part of.”
“What do you mean? He already knows about Katherine and everything.”
“I mean about me.”
“You haven’t told him?”
“‘Course not.” Bucky said defensively, “Why would I tell my best friend I’m…in love with him?” He barely whispered the last part, cautious of anyone who could’ve overheard. Becca was right, there was no one around, but still.
His sister huffed. “Not that part, dummy. Just that you, uh, what’s a good term to use? Play batter and fielder?”
Unable to help himself, Bucky barked out a laugh. “What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know! I’m just trying to put it nicely!”
“Jesus,” He snorted, “Anyway, no. Not that either. And he doesn’t need to know unless I’m sure he’s the same, otherwise I might drive him off or something.”
Becca scoffed again and shoved him with her shoulder. “You’re an idiot.” She said simply.
“Thanks. You’re a brat.”
“I do my best.”
Soon enough the pair were back on their own doorstep, brushing snow off their shoes and coats before stepping inside with their shopping still carefully concealed, bar the groceries. Their Ma was quickly upon them, kissing them both on their freezing cheeks in thanks as she grabbed the groceries from Bucky.
“What happened to your scarf, James?” Ma questioned, one hand on the side of his cold-flushed neck as young Flora entered the scene, silently demanding for her big brother to lift her up.
Bucky obliged the girl as he gave his mother a sheepish grin. “Had to let Steve borrow it.” He said simply, “I’ll get it back from him tomorrow.”
Ma set her hand on her hip. “Does he need a new scarf? I’ll knit him one for Christmas.”
“He’s got one, I think we were just outside a bit too long for him to start with. Poor guy was shakin’ like a leaf.”
“You gave him the mittens too?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Good. You need to look after that boy, James, I’m sure his mom’s busy enough at the hospital this time of year. I’ll send some soup over with you when you go tomorrow that the two of ‘em can have. And tell Steve to keep the mittens.”
“Yes ma’am.” Bucky said again with a determined nod. Ma seemed happy enough with that response and turned to Rebecca to get her to help with something in the kitchen while Bucky was left with Flora clinging onto him, tugging at his coat collar and asking if he’d got her anything while he was out, though her words didn’t quite register in his mind for a long moment.
Of course, he was thinking too much about what Ma had said. Look after that boy, James.
Little did she know just to what extent he was determined to look after Steve. He was always the protector, always ready to do what it took to keep those he loved safe — his sisters and his Ma...and Steve.
In some respect, the way he felt about looking after Steve was different to what he felt about his family. Of course, all of them he loved deeply and fiercely, and always would. But...there was some depth he couldn’t quite explain about his feelings towards Steve.
He’d go through hell and back for him whether or not the other boy held the same depth of feelings that Bucky himself did, that was something he knew right into his core. His very bones were etched with the resolve to be by Steve’s side no matter what. And maybe that was what true love felt like.
What Bucky knew for sure, though, whatever happened, he would be there for Steve. By his side. Protector for someone who maybe didn’t need one, but would let him play the part regardless. The two of them against the world.
Until the end of the line.