Work Text:
tonight thoma sits alone again, drowning in his thoughts. it had to be fairly late at night, most staff have already returned to their quarters, and the commissioner and his sister seem to be asleep.
he lets out a silent sigh, sliding further down the wall and hiding deeper in his arms. words weren’t supposed to hurt anymore, he’d been hearing them for as long as he could remember, and it was so stupid that they still hurt.
thoma misses mondstadt dearly, listening to people talk behind his back about his home doesn’t help. to them, he couldn’t be any less important. just a stupid outlander. stupid. stupid.
stupid.
his hands run through his hair, gripping it tightly and pulling himself closer together. it’s like he’s choking on his own thoughts, he can’t breathe, its suffocating.
he wants it to stop.
———————————————
the commissioner stands up from his desk and stretches, for the first time in what feels like years. ever since the vision hunt decree has ended, the workload of the kamisato clan has greatly increased.
ayato decides to take a short walk out of his office, to hopefully return to his work with a clear head. he does this whenever his mind is too clouded, his favourite place being wherever he could see the moon.
though he doesn’t quite make it outside. ayato notices an all too familiar sight at the end of the hallway. it’s thoma, curled up as small as he could be, though he looks to be in more distress than usual.
ayato sits next to him, thoma doesn’t even notice. he’s too absorbed in his own mind to feel anything else happening, he hadn’t even noticed he’d been crying.
he places his hands over thoma’s, finally releasing the death grip they had on his hair. thoma almost jumps as he looks at ayato, eyes wide and burning with tears.
ayato doesnt mention it. he takes the others hands, ever so softly, and holds them in his own. he places a kiss on his hands, and thoma feels as if he may shatter.
‘thoma, my dear…’ ayato whispers, in the softest tone he can manage. thoma tries his best to pull his lips into a smile, but they tremble and shake at the effort.
‘im so tired,’ thoma chokes out, fighting back from breaking down at that moment. ‘im sorry.’
‘you needn’t apologise to me, love,’ ayato pulls thoma towards him, resting him in his arms.
‘you are so wonderful, i love you.’
thoma breaks. his eyes overflow and he holds onto ayato like a life line. his chest aches as he sobs, quietly as he can manage. he cries so much it hurts, but he feels a little better after.
ayato holds thoma’s face as if he’s porcelain, wiping away the slowing flow of tears. how he would do anything to never see his lover like this.
‘let me take care of you thoma,’ ayato kisses thoma’s forehead, still holding him close. thoma protests with a mumble, shaking his head.
‘hush, you deserve it, my dear.’
———————————————
ayato treats thoma so kindly. he helps him undress with gentle hands, and holds his hand tight as he steps into the bath. the water is comfortingly warm against his skin.
thoma can feel himself become less and less tense as ayato washes him. his fingers are so delicate and kind when they massage at his aching scalp. thoma closes his eyes, and he smiles, though it’s a small one.
he feels so loved.
ayato helps him out, wrapping him in a towel and drying him softly. he helps thoma change into some spare sleeping clothes he had.
‘is this alright, my love?’ he asks as he brushes thoma’s golden hair. it’s quite soft. thoma hums and nods in response. ayato smiles and kisses the back of his neck.
once ayato is done, he leaves his hair loose, letting it drape just below his shoulders.
‘if it’s alright, would you like to sleep with me tonight?’ he asks thoma, reaching for his hand.
‘i’d like that..’ he replies, squeezing ayato’s hand lightly.
ayato leads thoma into his bedroom. the two have slept together many times, though it would be a first for this occasion.
as they both lay down, ayato shifts closer to thoma. thoma slowly puts his arms around ayato’s waist, as if he’s unsure. ayato smiles at thoma and places his hands on top of his, wrapping thoma’s arms around himself. he then wraps his arms around thoma’s shoulders, bringing them even closer. he can hear ayato’s heart beating steadily, its nice.
‘comfortable?’ ayato asks.
‘mhm..’
‘good.’
‘i love you, ayato.’ thoma mumbles with a sleepy smile.
‘i love you too, dear thoma, get some rest.’ he brushes thoma’s hair away from his face, kissing him softly.