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Dazai is not a jealous person. He doesn't care if his friends use his notes for school or try to cheat during exams copying his answers, or if they borrow his clothes (Chuuya and Atsushi do it mostly). They didn't care when their mom started to spend the majority of her time at "work" (or at her boyfriend's house, whatever you want to call it). They didn't care when their dad had another child with the woman the man was dating at the time. He didn't care when his friends "stole" Atsushi from him, even though he was their friend and they kind of wanted to keep him for themselves at first but it's fine, Atsushi is his own person and they like that he gets along with everyone.
Dazai Osamu is everything but the jealous type. They aren't jealous of their things, their parents, or their friends.
But there is this one person that makes them feel not even jealous, but almost possessive. And this person is the one they have had a crush on since they were fifteen and their best friend.
So, Chuuya drives Dazai crazy. He feels so dumb when he gets jealous because they go insane over the smallest things. When Chuuya goes to have dinner with his friends from karate, they get jealous (because of this one guy, Steinbeck, who is clearly crushing on Chuuya but he's too dense to notice). When Chuuya studies with that girl from their history class - how is she even called? Arcol? Alcott? - he actually gets angry because she's always staring at him in class and always asks him to study together and, just, why? Yeah, she and Chuuya are both really good in history but that's it. What do they even talk about? Chuuya even invited her to hang out together a few times!
(Dazai spent the whole time listening to Taylor Swift and dramatically thought about how his life sucks, but at least he could relate to Better Than Revenge.)
And today the God they don't even believe in decided to fuck their day because Chuuya isn't talking to them. Every day they meet outside of school a few minutes before the bell rings, smoke and go inside together, but this morning Chuuya wasn't even at their spot. Dazai didn't think too much about it (or he did but he won't admit it) and went to their class. Chuuya was probably late which was fine, unusual but fine. But he didn't even look at them when he arrived in the room, didn't send them texts, didn't answer their notes. But it gets worse! They didn't talk the whole day, now it's lunch and Chuuya is sitting with his other friends and Dazai is staring.
"You're embarrassing," says Yosano while Dazai is still looking at Chuuya.
"Why are they staring at him again?" asks Atsushi while he opens a bottle of water.
"Because they're a dumbass who can't even talk to their best friend of what, ten years?"
"Seven." Dazai corrects her.
"You truly are an idiot."
"Kunikida! I expected this from anyone but you!"
"What are you talking about? He's the one who insults you the most."
"Wrong," Ranpo swoops in, "that's Yosano."
"Thank you, it's an honor to be the one who reminds him the most that he has shit for brains." the girl grins at her best friend.
"I don't get why they're a dumbass," everyone but Dazai looks at Atsushi confused, "I mean, they are-"
"Atsushi! After all the things I did for you!"
"- but why is he right now?"
"Because his boyfriend is mad at him and he doesn't know why and they won't even go talk to him." says Ranpo with a bored look on the face.
"Okay, first things first: he's not my boyfriend," Dazai is finally not staring at Chuuya but looking at their friends, "second of all, he's not mad at me! That's why I'm so confused about this whole silent treatment shit!"
Everyone stays silent for a second. Dazai never swears, so he must be really frustrated right now.
"Yeah sure," Yosano wants to punch them, "what did you talk about the last time you two spoke?"
Dazai thinks about it for a bit while everyone waits. He touches his bottom lip with his thumb.
They only texted yesterday because Dazai was out of town to visit their mom. They mostly did it when it was late at night though, because Chuuya had a busy day.
"We texted yesterday and he talked about his day. Then he asked me how was my mom doing, I said she's fine and we stopped."
"We need more details, you idiot" Yosano is seriously going to punch them.
"Like she said" Kenji agrees and everybody nods.
"He said sorry because he didn't answer me the whole day. I said it was fine and asked him if something happened, he said he had a busy day because after school he had to study with that girl from the history class and then went out with that Steinback guy. Then he, um, said something about us sitting with his friends today instead of you? And I told him that if he didn't want to talk to me or my, no, our friends it was fine. He said okay, asked about my mom and that's it."
Everybody stares at him.
"Fucking hell."
"Are you stupid? What kind of disease are you suffering from?"
"I can't believe this."
"And you're surprised he didn't talk to you the whole day?"
"I didn't think he would actually do it! Okay? Apparently, he chose his friends over me. Fine. He can die for all I care."
Everyone at the table stares at Dazai in silence for a moment until they all start to talk. All of them at once.
"I wish you'd die right now."
"Why am I friends with you?"
"Is this a joke? Please tell me it's a joke."
"I knew they were stupid but this is another level. This is a homophobic level of stupidity."
"Dazai" Tanizaki catches everyone's attention. "You are an idiot. Why didn't you just sit with them?"
"Because," Dazai gets up and some people look at him confused, "it was a weird day. I wanted to get through it by texting him but he was busy flirting with other people and okay I get it. But then he asks me about sitting with other people? People who I hate and he knows it, because he probably prefers them and, oh, guess what? He does!"
He sits back on his chair.
"I didn't take you for the jealous type," says Naomi.
"I'm not."
"Oh, you totally are. It's actually kind of sad."
"Yosano, respectfully, shut up."
"Okay, okay," Atsushi clears his throat, "if you want to stay with him you have to start at least tolerating his friends. He chooses you over them every day. If you're that jealous, start hanging out with them too. Maybe they're not that bad and you'll notice how he does not choose anyone over you. Ever."
Dazai stays silent. He knows he should give them a chance, but something inside of them just won't let them do it. Is it anxiety? No, he's not an anxious person, he can talk to people easily. Then what is it?
"You know, if you keep acting like this he will figure it out."
That makes Dazai want to vomit. They're not ready to be rejected and end their friendship. Chuuya can't find out about their crush, but Yosano's right, if they keep acting like this Chuuya will start to suspect something.
Dazai sighs and stands up again. His hands are shaking a bit and their back feels sweaty, but they start walking towards Chuuya's table anyway. It's on the other side of the room, a few people are looking at them but what makes them anxious the most is the fact that Chuuya's not looking.
He arrives at the table, everyone here is staring at him but Chuuya. They wipe the sweat on their hands on their pants and put on a little smile. He taps on his friend's shoulder and he finally looks at him, but doesn't say anything. His friend's eyes scream anger.
They feel like everyone in the world is waiting for them to speak.
"Can I sit here?" and he points at the space next to Chuuya.
Chuuya's eyes immediately become softer. He grins and touches the back of his neck.
"Sure."