Chapter Text
Sam and Bucky hopped off of the Quinjet, on high alert. Doctor Strange and a confidant that they hadn’t met yet had tipped them off that there had been a breach from the multiverse into their timeline in the area, but it had been a small one, so Sam and Bucky were going in to investigate first. This multiverse business was still very new to the both of them and they weren’t sure what to expect. Sam and Bucky went in separate directions in order to triangulate the area.
After a few minutes of walking around looking for something out of the ordinary, Sam heard a familiar mechanical noise followed by a whooshing sound. Before he knew it, a figure was flying straight towards him. Quickly, Sam deployed his own wings and held up the shield to protect himself from the flying figure. Once the figure got closer, Sam was stunned by what he saw. Before him was a man who looked exactly like Sam, but perhaps ten years older. He was wearing a stealth EXO-7 Falcon wingsuit that was mostly black. Both Sams seemed to recognize each other at the same time and paused, staring at each other in disbelief.
On some level, Sam knew what was happening, but it was still a shock and nearly impossible to get his mind around. He noticed that his doppelgänger’s gaze had shifted from regarding the shield and Captain America suit with surprise and vague confusion and that he was now staring intently at the ring on his left hand. Something about it made him look at the other Sam’s left hand himself, and sure enough, this Sam was wearing two rings that were similar to Sam’s - though not identical, they were clearly chosen by someone with the same taste.
To Sam’s surprise, the other man’s gaze hardened and he lifted his gun, finally breaking the silence: “Is this some kind of trick?”
“What? No, man! What are you talking about? You’re… me?” Sam said as he lifted the shield defensively, suddenly unsure if this other version of himself would actually pull the trigger or not. As if on cue, Bucky appeared, having heard the noise and run back to check on Sam. Bucky stopped in his tracks and the two men stared at each other.
Beyond the shock of seeing someone who looked just like his fiancé, Bucky was a bit startled by how this other Sam looked. Physically, they were virtually identical aside from the age difference, but this Sam was still so different from the Sam that he knew, and he could tell just by looking at him that the years had not been kind. This Sam didn’t smile, he came across as quite cold, and there was a sadness in his eyes that appeared to be permanently ingrained in his visage. This Sam had known some kind of grief that had changed him forever. At the same time, he looked truly shaken to see Bucky.
The other Sam took a few tentative steps towards Bucky, his gaze intensifying to the point that Bucky was a bit uncomfortable and moved closer to Sam. The other Sam stopped and stared at him some more, and both Sam and Bucky realized at the same time that the variant’s eyes were filling with tears. Alternate Sam cleared his throat, trying to shove down the emotions that were welling up.
“Sorry about that… I’ve uh… seen some really weird shit lately. I’m Sam Wilson. But I think you already knew that,” the variant said, quickly putting away the gun.
“Yeah… uhh… I’m Sam, too,” Sam said clumsily, still completely unsure how to speak to an alternate version of himself. Focus on the mission, Sam thought. “Wh-what are you doing here?” Sam asked, immediately wanting to kick himself for how his conversational skills were going out the window in this situation.
The other Sam straightened his posture a bit. “Yeah, I guess I should explain. For several years, I’ve been hopping into different timelines to check for variants of a man named Nathaniel Richards. Have you heard of him?”
Both Sam and Bucky stared blankly. “No,” Sam replied.
Alternate Sam gave a small humorless laugh. “Ah. Well, good. Although, chances are, you will, sooner or later. Consider yourselves lucky that you haven’t,” the variant’s eyes flicked back to Bucky. “Actually, consider yourselves lucky, in general. Looks like you’re pretty happy here.” The statement could have come across as bitter, but Sam knew that it was genuine, and undercut with a deep sadness.
The other Sam shook himself a little and tried to smile at Sam. “So, you’re… Captain America? How did that happen?”
“Steve gave me the shield after he went to another timeline to live with Peggy,” Sam said, and then wondered if any of that would make sense to this Sam. “Umm… after we got blipped back, after Thanos… uhh… any of that make sense?”
The other Sam raised an eyebrow. “Oh. In my timeline, we didn’t blip,” he looked pointedly at Bucky again, making it clear what he meant by “we.”
“Wait, so you helped with the time heist thing instead of being blipped out of existence for five years?” Sam couldn’t help but ask. This explained some of the age difference between the two of them.
“Yes,” the other Sam’s gaze darkened and something about it made Sam regret asking the question. Sam didn’t expect his alternate self to continue, but he did - “Bucky and I went to Vormir for the Soul Stone.”
Sam and Bucky stood in stunned silence, wrestling with the implications of that sentence. Before they could say anything in response, the other Sam coughed and changed the subject, “I’d like to do some research while I’m here, and then, uh, go back to my timeline. This is… just recon.”
“Um, sure. You can stay at our place… use my computer…” Sam trailed off, still struggling to think of what to say.
“Thanks. That would be really helpful,” the other Sam nodded and then his gaze flicked back to Bucky. He was trying not to stare at him, but failing miserably.
“I’ll touch base with Strange, you two take the Quinjet home,” Bucky said decisively, for once feeling a bit uncomfortable with the staring game. He leaned in and gave Sam a quick peck on the cheek, feeling like it would be imprudent to engage in any more PDA in front of this variant, but needing to show his fiancé some affection before sending him off. “I’ll be home later.”
Sam took a deep breath. “Okay, that sounds good,” Sam squeezed Bucky’s hand and gestured to his other self to follow him to the Quinjet.
Sam let his alternate self into his apartment, gesturing towards the kitchen table as an invitation for the man to sit. Sam went to get them each a beer, having some intuition that this Sam probably liked the same type of beer that he did.
The other Sam thanked him for the beer and Sam busied himself setting up his laptop and plugging in the charger, setting it on the table for the variant to use, but the other man didn’t move past the point of opening a web browser. Sam noticed that the other man was studying his left ring finger with curiosity and once again noted the pair of rings on the other man’s finger.
The other Sam broke the silence: “How long have you been engaged?”
Sam couldn’t help but smile a little as he answered, “Almost four months now.”
The other Sam nodded and stared at his own left hand. “I lost him eight months and nine days after I asked him.”
Sam swallowed, not knowing what to say. This Sam was different, but still, Sam knew himself well enough to know that the story hadn’t been told in a long time, and that he needed to tell it to someone who would truly understand.
“When did you fall for him?” The other Sam asked.
Sam thought for a moment - it was hard to pinpoint. In some ways, he felt like he’d loved Bucky as long as he’d known him, even if he hadn’t always shown it, or known it himself. “I guess I’d say that we were like, frenemies to lovers,” Sam chuckled, “after we got blipped back, I don’t know, I didn’t want to be the next Captain America even though Steve all but asked me. I gave up the shield to the Smithsonian and Buck was so fucking mad. It was a thing where I wasn’t understanding why it mattered so much to him, and he wasn’t understanding why I felt like it wasn’t my mantle to take on. But I always cared about him, even when he was pissing me off. We worked this mission together, long story short, I got the shield back but was still on the fence about being Captain America. Then Bucky came to Delacroix with this fancy Captain America suit from the Wakandans and he helped me and Sarah fix up Mom and Dad’s boat. He didn’t need to be there helping out, but he was, and that meant a lot. He’d like, hold a screwdriver in his mouth and look cute as shit,” Sam’s smile lit up his whole face as he recalled, “I guess I started having some feelings that I hadn’t had in quite some time. But I was too chickenshit to say anything until a few months later, when some shit went sideways on another mission and I almost lost him. Actually, I was still too chickenshit to say anything, but then he kissed me and the rest is history.”
Sam laughed again and met the gaze of the other Sam. He was smiling back, but there was still pain in his eyes. Sam left the other man plenty of space to answer his own question, and after a moment, he did.
“I told you we weren’t blipped in my timeline. So after half the population disappeared, things were a mess all around the world. We helped Natasha run what was left of the Avengers compound, but it was pretty much just the three of us. Even Steve kind of didn’t have his heart in the mission anymore. Makes sense he ‘retired’ in your timeline. Anyway, Bucky and I always paired up for missions. He wanted to make amends for what he did as the Winter Soldier, and I just wanted stuff to do to take my mind off of everything else. We got close pretty quickly, and before you knew it, we quit getting separate hotel rooms while traveling, and then we quit bothering with separate beds, too.
I bought these rings and proposed to him. None of us thought that there would be a way to undo the Snap, so I don’t know what we were waiting for, but when we talked about it we always said that we’d get married whenever the world felt normal again. Whatever the hell that meant. Not like the world would ever actually feel normal again, we had to find a new normal. But then who should show up at the Avengers compound but Scott Lang. Commence time heist, very similar to yours, I think. Bucky and I ended up going to Vormir together.”
Both Sams took a deep breath, needing to pause before pressing forward with the story. Alternate Sam took a shaky breath and leaned forward in his chair.
“That fucking red Skeletor thing said that to get the stone, ‘you must lose that which you love,’ and that’s when I fucking knew. I knew that I would lose him. I fought him on it, but he could always beat me in a fight, obviously. He could beat almost anyone in a fight. I fought as hard as I could, I even tried to hurt him a bit, because I was fighting for my life - he was my life. But of course it was no contest really, he disabled my jetpack and wore me down. I was begging him not to do it - I was a fucking mess. He gave me his ring,” the man flexed his fingers and continued, “he gave me the ring, said he loved me, and jumped off the fucking cliff. I fucking lost it, like collapsed right on the edge and came this close to just jumping right after him. It probably wouldn’t have mattered if I had, because one minute I was staring over the edge of the cliff, and he was down there just staring at nothing, goddamn blood all around his head… I’ll never fucking get that shit out of my head for as long as I live, but next thing I knew I was in this pool of water, miles from the cliff, with that goddamned stone in my hand,” tears were falling freely down his face and he choked out a sob.
“You know, the fucking red skeleton said it was ‘a soul for a soul,’ but that’s bullshit because I lost my soul that day too. Bucky was everything to me. I know that you know what I mean.”
Alternate Sam stared at Sam earnestly, and all Sam could do was nod. The variant finished off the beer and Sam wordlessly got up to get both of them another.
“Who had to die for the Soul Stone in your timeline?” Alternate Sam asked.
“Natasha,” Sam swallowed the lump in his throat.
The variant lifted his beer solemnly in a toast, his face grim. “To Nat. She helped me with stuff after the battle. As much as I could be helped, at least.”
“Is she alright in your timeline?” Sam asked.
The other Sam smiled. “Yeah, she’s probably inviting some new recruit to the rebuilt Avengers compound as we speak.”
Sam smiled at that, and then chewed on his lip, unsure of what to say to his other self. “It’s not fair, man. You brought back half the universe, half the world, but you lost your other half, the person who was your whole world.”
The other Sam gave an appreciative nod and worked on finishing the beer. After finishing the beer, he excused himself to go take a shower, and Sam sat at the table in silence for several minutes, unable to wrap his mind around what he’d heard. It hadn’t taken more than fifteen minutes for the other man to tell his story, but Sam felt like he’d been on a harrowing journey. He felt overwhelmingly lucky to be living his life in his own timeline, faced with an alternative so devastating that Sam felt broken just having listened to it.
Sam leapt to his feet when he heard keys jingling at the door, meeting Bucky in the doorway with a desperate hug. Bucky closed and locked the door behind him, tossing the keys aside and regarding Sam with some concern. His fiancé was holding him like they hadn’t seen each other in days, not just a couple of hours. Not that he was complaining.
“Sammy, are you okay?” Bucky murmured into Sam’s ear. Sam loosened his grip slightly and took a shaky breath.
“Yeah… just… my other self has been through some serious shit,” Sam replied, even though he knew this wasn’t new information to Bucky. He blinked hard, his eyes damp with tears that he didn’t quite let fall, not wanting Bucky to worry too much about him. Rather than press him on the details, Bucky took Sam’s face in both of his hands and gave him a passionate kiss on the mouth, followed by a tender kiss on the forehead. The pair pressed their foreheads together, breathing each other in and savoring the moment.
“Can we elope? Or… or… have the wedding sooner, at least?” Sam blurted out inelegantly.
Bucky laughed softly. “If that’s what you want. You know that you’re the one with all the family and friends who you want to be there. I have like, two friends.” Sam couldn’t help but laugh at the way he said it. “All I need is you, Sam,” Bucky whispered earnestly into Sam’s ear and pulled him closer. They finally let each other go when they heard the bathroom door opening and the variant entered the room cautiously, wearing one of Sam’s Air Force sweatshirts and some lounge shorts.
“I’m going to get ready for bed,” Sam said quietly to Bucky. Even lower, he added: “You should talk to him.”
Bucky nodded and pressed a quick kiss to Sam’s forehead before wandering into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Caffeine had little effect on Bucky due to the super-soldier serum, but he enjoyed the taste and ritual of having a cup of coffee or tea before bed. Tonight, he wanted something to do that would give their houseguest and himself the opportunity to talk. After preparing his coffee, Bucky sat at the table across from the other man.
“First time meeting a different version of yourself?” Bucky asked the other Sam lightly. He figured he may as well lean into the absurdity of the situation.
“Yeah,” the variant said with a light laugh.
“Same. I mean… first time meeting a variant of someone that I know,” Bucky replied, cringing inwardly at the awkwardness of the conversation. On one hand, the man in front of him was just like Sam, and Sam was the person that Bucky could say anything to, but on the other hand, this wasn’t his Sam, and he was all too aware of what this Sam was missing and didn’t want to say anything to upset him.
The other Sam gave Bucky a warm smile. “It’s okay. You don’t need to walk on eggshells around me,” he said, as if he’d read Bucky’s mind. Bucky smiled back before spending some time staring intently at his coffee.
“It’s so strange to see you. It’s… it’s like seeing a ghost, to be honest. You’ve got a face I thought I’d never get to see again, and I mean… I’m not seeing him. You just look exactly like him. Except you got a haircut,” the variant smiled and looked down awkwardly. “It looks good by the way.”
“Thanks,” Bucky said warmly, giving the man space to say whatever he wanted.
The other Sam chewed on the inside of his cheek for a minute, and when he started speaking again, his voice was thick with emotion. “I miss him. Ever since the multiverse kind of split open I’ve been so busy, throwing myself into the mission. Actually, I’ve been throwing myself into work constantly, ever since…” the man took a shaky breath and didn’t finish the sentence. “I needed a distraction. It never even occurred to me that I’d meet a Bucky from another universe. It’s just… crazy. Because you’re just like him, but you’re not him. All the little memories that we had… you don’t have. You and this universe’s version of Sam have a whole different story. A uh, hopefully happier one, in the end.”
Bucky nodded understandingly. “Look, Sam… you don’t have to tell me what happened. If you and your Bucky went to Vormir, I know exactly what happened. I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about what Hydra made me do. I didn’t have a choice, but they used me to cause a lot of death. So if I were in a situation where I could save half the universe and the man I loved… well, there are worse ways to go. But leaving Sammy behind would be the hardest part,” Bucky paused briefly. “But I believe in Sam, more than anyone else, and if I were in that position, I would need him to be okay. I wouldn’t leave him if I didn’t believe that he would find a way to be okay. So I think that’s what he would want to say, if he could.”
Bucky reached his right hand across the table and took the other Sam’s left hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze. “I can’t imagine how hard it’s been, but you’re still out here trying to help the world - hell, the whole multiverse. He would be proud of you. I’m sure of that.”
Alternate Sam gave Bucky a grateful smile.
The next day, Sam and Bucky took the variant back to where they’d found him, having been told that he was expecting a Ms. Chavez to portal him back to his timeline after exactly 24 hours of reconnaissance in this one.
The other Sam smiled and gave Sam a hug. “It was crazy to meet you, man. Maybe you’ll be the first of many?” The man chuckled. More quietly, he added, “I’m happy for you. I really am. Stay safe, both of you.”
The two men broke their hug and alternate Sam turned to Bucky. “Thank you, for what you said. I’m really gonna try. I think I needed to hear it from you.” Eyes moist, the man pulled Bucky into a tight embrace. After a moment, something came over him and he brought a hand up to Bucky’s face and kissed him passionately. At first, Bucky was taken aback, but he figured that it was something the other Sam needed - some sort of closure. So Bucky kissed him back. The other Sam pulled away suddenly, looking a bit embarrassed.
“I’m sorry… I should have asked if that was okay,” he stammered, looking from Bucky to Sam and back again. Bucky glanced at his fiancé to see him smirking at him.
“It’s alright… take care of yourself, Sam,” Bucky reassured him as he noticed a portal opening a few yards away. The other Sam grinned sheepishly at them and headed toward the portal, giving a final wave before disappearing.
Sam slipped a hand around Bucky’s waist. “Cheating on me with me, huh?” He said jokingly. Bucky shrugged.
“It’s not like we’re married, Sam,” he said, punctuating the statement with a wicked grin.
Sam huffed. “Well, let’s work on fixing that, then!”