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Roman thinks he hears a knock at the door, but it’s hard to be sure two rooms away with the water running. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he drips a path of water across the bedroom as he listens to see if he hears it again. The sound repeats as he’s nearing the door to the suite’s sitting room. Yep, definitely a knock.
He’s not sure how long it’s been since Gerri’d ordered their breakfast. Once he’d joined her in the shower his sense of time had gone completely out the window, but who else would be knocking on his door at this time of the morning, right?
Still holding the towel in place with his other hand, he flips back the privacy lock then reaches for the knob. Stepping back behind the door, he swings it wide open to let in the room service cart and is puzzled when none is immediately rolling passed. His stomach lurches as his eyes scan up from the floor across pointed toe patten leather shoes and extra wide legged pants, to the perfectly tailored turtleneck landing on his sister’s confused face.
Her eyes scan back and forth between the number on the door and him.
His brain is screaming ‘FUCK’ as he concentrates on keeping his face a mask of irritation and annoyance. “Shiv. Fuck off. I’m not dealing with whatever the fuck you want, until after I have at least three cups of coffee.”
She blinks at him a moment. “What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean what am I doing here?” he fires back stepping out from behind the door.
“This isn’t your room.”
“Are you high? I’m here. It’s my room.” He’s already kicking himself mentally in the nuts, can hear Gerri’s reprimand in his mind. You couldn’t check the fucking peephole before you opened the door?
“It’s not.” Her voice drops into that condescending, you’re an idiot register.
“It is,” he counters quickly. “I think I know where my own fucking room is.”
Shiv shakes her head a moment. He thinks he has her believing him when she looks back at the number on the door and then locks her eyes on him. “This is Gerri’s room. I know. I saw her when we checked in last night.”
“We switched,” he offers up, quickly switching gears.
“Why?”
“What the fuck do you care? We switched. She’s down the hall,” he argues gesturing to the end of the corridor with his chin. “Go bother her.”
Shiv cocks her head, a perplexed expression on her face. She reminds him of a dog for a moment, a smart but extremely annoying poodle or something. “Who’s in there with you?”
“No one,” he lies, feels his face getting warm.
“Why’s the shower still running?” she taunts.
“I left it on,” he scrambles for an explanation. “I only answered the door because I thought it was my coffee.” He steps toward her trying to physically block her path into the room. “Now go the fuck away so I can get dressed, unless you want a front row seat to all of this” he taunts gesturing to his groin.
“Please,” she scoffs shoving passed him as she enters the room. “You’ve got someone in there with you.”
“There’s no one here,” he spits back not even sounding remotely convincing.
“I knew you were seeing someone.” She’s gloating now, a shit-eating grin on her face.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yeah, you are. You have been. I can tell. You just decided not to subject this girl to our oh so loving family for some reason. I don’t know why, you’ve drug all your other girlfriends into the middle of our shitstorm.”
“Aww… I’m touched by the amount of time your twisted little mind spends thinking of me.”
“Oh, maybe that’s it…” she continues completely ignoring him, “maybe it’s not a girlfriend this time. Maybe it’s a boyfriend.
“Seriously?”
“That would be totally okay you know, if you were gay.” She’s shifted gears now, stepping closer to him, doing that voice where she tries to sound genuine, “No one would be surprised if you were sleeping with a guy.”
“She’s not a fucking guy, okay?”
“Ah…” Her eyes light up with delight at his admission. “So, there is someone.”
“Yes, there is,” he admits anger dripping off every word. “Now fuck off already”
She turns to leave, but of course, that’s when the room service guy arrives. “Coffee… great… yeah… thanks…” Roman signs the check adding a hefty tip trying to hurry guy and hopefully his nosey fucking bloodhound of a sister back out the door as quickly as possible
Shiv clocks the room service cart with a Machiavellian grin. “Two orange juices. Two coffee cups, and since when do you eat yogurt, Mr. ‘It’s the Consistency of Cum.’”
“They must have got the orders mixed up. There’s coffee. That’s all I care about. Now would you pleeeease… get the fuck out.”
It’s like her head’s on a permanent swivel with how much she just keeps shaking it back and forth, but she’s heading toward the door and that’s all he cares about. Then she notices brown cashmere draped over the chair in the corner.
“Holy shit. This is Gerri’s room. You’re fucking my godmother?” her voice rises at the end, but it’s way more accusation than question.
“You’re nuts. Did you start dipping into Kendall’s collection of pills or something?”
“No, you fuckhead, but I did give her that pashmina for Christmas.”
“She must have left it when we switched last night,” he tosses out, but Shiv’s busy scanning the room over his shoulder now looking for more damning evidence.
“She leave her laptop and briefcase too?” she says with a nod to the desk by the window.
“We were working late on the Shannon deal. She’s due back here again any minute and if I’ve got my dick flapping in the breeze,” he gestures to his towel again, “that’s a lawsuit.” He herds her back to the door, has her nearly across the threshold when the water shuts off in the bathroom.
Shiv freezes in her tracks and turns toward him slowly. “There is someone here with you.”
“Yes, there is,” he hisses physically shoving her out the open door. “I met someone in the bar last night and I’d rather not explain our fucked-up family to her right now so–” he’s got the door halfway closed, he can taste the relief, when…
“Rome? Did breakfast come yet?” Gerri calls out from the other room.
Shiv shoves passed him into the center of the room and folds her arms.
Roman closes the door and bangs his head against it in frustration before calling out “We have company?”
Gerri paces briskly out of the bedroom wrapped in a hotel robe, wet hair twisted up in a towel. “We have what?”
Roman watches as Shiv’s mouth literally drops open before she quickly blurts out, “Fuck, you really are sleeping with my godmother.”
Gerri squares her shoulders and fixes Shiv with a practiced look of irritated tolerance. “Good morning, Shiv. Did you need something?”
Shiv’s eyes are blinking rapidly her mouth opening and closing as though she’s trying to form words.
As always, Roman is amazed at Gerri’s ability to appear unflappable. Even standing here, both of them nearly naked in front of his sister, she seems in complete control, has his sister totally off balance. Of course, he knows that inside she’s losing her shit, but no one else could ever tell.
“I… uh… I wanted to go over some ideas I had for the panel today, but uh…” Shiv can’t tear her eyes off of Gerri who’s now pouring herself a cup of coffee as though it were any other morning.
It’s his life, and it’s a complete fucking train wreck, but he can’t look away. His sister’s awkward floundering is just too much fun to watch, he’ll deal with the fallout later.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“You couldn’t check the fucking peephole before you opened the door?” she demands slamming her coffee cup down on the saucer so hard he swears he hears it crack.
“I knew you were going to say that,” he blurts out with a strangled kind of wry chuckle.
“Fat lot of good that does, if you don’t actually check the fucking peephole!” As soon as Shiv stepped out the door her veneer of composed detachment crumbled into nothingness, her whole body now vibrating with anxiety.
“In my defense, I honestly forgot this wasn’t my room,” he says screwing up is face in a sort of mea culpa grimace and adding a shrug for good measure.
Gerri closes her eyes, takes a deep, long, seemingly calming breath and lets it out slowly. Then she does it again, dropping her head back, eyes still closed.
He moves closer to her but stops himself from touching her worried he might startle her or set her off again. He speaks softly trying his best to sound soothing, reassuring. “This doesn’t have to be the end of the world, you know.” It’s a bit of a role reversal but he thinks he pulls it off okay, doesn’t sound too desperate.
“No?” she asks opening her eyes, her voice breathy and uncharacteristically small.
He does touch her now, rests his hands on her hips. “You said the other night that you were tired of sneaking around.”
“No, you said that,” she counters her hands landing on his chest, a hint of something easing pulls at the corner of her mouth and its progress. He’ll take it.
“Well, you agreed.”
“I did… in theory,” she concedes as she moves out of his hold.
He follows her into the bedroom. “Well now’s the time to put theory into practice.”
“You do realize we just lost control of the narrative, right?” she deadpans, eyeing him briefly as she pulls open the dresser drawer and plucks out a bra.
“Not necessarily,” he offers.
“How?” she asks pulling out a pair of stockings.
He watches as she begins to dress. “Shiv now thinks she has this massive… bomb she can explode.”
“Because she does.”
“Not if we explode it first… well not explode necessarily… but there will definitely be fireworks.”
“What are you talking about? You mean go public? Now?” she asks padding over to the closet in just her underwear and bra.
“Would you rather sit around and wait to see what Shiv wants in exchange for keeping our secret or worse yet who she’ll tell to fuck us over?”
He can almost see the wheels spinning in her mind as she processes his suggestion. “So, instead, we steal her thunder.”
“Yeah, she can’t threaten us or out us if we out ourselves first.”
“True,” she agrees, “very true.”
“So, we do it… go public?” he’s shocked that she agreed so readily.
She pauses, a hanger holding a gray dress in her hand, puts it back and instead pulls out one he hasn’t seen before, a deep purple. “I think we have to.”
“Fuck yeah!”
“Could you sound a bit less pleased with yourself?” she asks as she steps into the dress and turns toward him, a wordless request for him to zip her up.
“No. I could not. I am pleased with myself.” He answers zipping her up then patting her on the ass. “I landed the hottest fucking MILF in known history and I finally get to tell the world.”
She whirls around then, her eyes narrowing on him. “That will not be the headline here.”
“Not for you, but I can guarantee that your legions of fans on social media are in my corner on this.”
“My what?”
“You know what? Let’s save this,” he swirls his open hand in a tight circle, "for another day.”
“Probably best.” She’s already moved into work mode picking up her phone and shooting off texts right and left. “Don’t just stand there, get dressed,” she tells him slipping on her shoes. “Karolina will be here any minute,” she adds putting in one earring then the next before she hands him her thick gold necklace.
He fastens the necklace then stops her hand as she reaches back into her jewel box. “Let me.” He picks up her rings sliding her favorite chunky gold one onto her right hand before lifting her left to his lips and kissing her ring finger. “These go here today where they belong,” he says sliding the platinum sapphire and diamond wedding set into place.
Biting down on her lower lip, she glides her thumb across the rings, pushing them fully into place then looks up at him a mischievous gleam in her eye. In one swift motion she whips the towel from his waist and snaps him in the ass as she moves swiftly to the bathroom. “Get your ass in gear and wear the navy suit. The pictures from today will follow us around for years to come.”