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The ride back home was quieter than usual. Satoshi seemed lost in his thoughts and frankly so was Gou.
He couldn't imagine being friends with a pokemon for so long and at such a young age, only to have to deal with their departure before being old enough to understand it.
He tapped his fingers on the armrest, a bit restless.
"Hey, Satoshi?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think that Cleffy…is dead? "
"I don't think they're dead."
And it was said in such a matter of fact way that Gou couldn't help but believe him.
Of course the distinction of whether Cleffy had left the little girl or died wasn't something they wanted to bring up. It seemed like even her mother wasn't sure. It was a mysterious pokemon that yearned for the space and the stars. It was extremely possible that it had been called to that purpose and one day would be back for their human.
"Yknow, Cleffy, Clefable, and Clefairy are weird Pokemon. They're like...um, like the fairies they talk about in books. Do everything at the drop of a hat. But," Satoshi sat up a little straighter, smile wide, "That's why I think Pokemon are amazing!"
Gou lets out a little helpless laugh, because what is he supposed to say to that ? That Satoshi's amazing? That he would have thought himself in circles wondering if Cleffy had died or just left? That Satoshi is amazing for seeing the brightness, even in this situation?
Another laugh escapes him because he was starting to wonder how he'd feel if any of his pokemon just left.
"So!" Cinderace and Pikachu give him a look, one that Gou ignores, "How did you meet Cynthia?"
And Satoshi happily launched into the tale, his quiet thoughtfulness from earlier evaporates like it had never been there.
The sound of Satoshi's voice and the movements of the train are enough for Gou to fall asleep. Satoshi stops talking when he notices.
A small smile overtakes his face and Cinderace chitters, questioning his trainer's friend.
His Gou always seemed kind of lonely and Cinderace hated it. He was a good human so why was he so insecure? What would happen if one of the other Pokemon left Gou? He hadn't been ok when Drizzle wanted to be alone, no matter how great he had been at supporting the water type.
"Cinder?"
Cinderace's eyes snapped to Satoshi at the nickname. He wishes he could kick him like he used to as a Scorbunny but Gou would kill him if he got a scratch on Satoshi.
"I won't leave him alone, so you don't have to worry. If I need to go anywhere I'll drag him with me."
Cinderace's ears twitch. How did he know? Why was this silly human so insightful?
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Satoshi whined, "It's just, I felt so bad for that kid. She's so little to be dealing with that. I've had friends leave before. It...hurts. And Gou, he's - I don't want him to-" He finally stumbles over his words, frustrated at not being able to say what he wants, "He acts all cool but he falls apart sometimes and it's bad. I wanna be there for him, I guess."
All Cinderace can do is nod. Gou had said much the same. But today's Satoshi was weirding him out. He wanted Pikachu to wake up and take this off his hands, he's glad his human was easier to handle. The trainer was fidgeting but also staring at Gou while pretending he wasn't.
It was annoying. Why doesn't he just say something?
Cinderace flicks him on the forehead.
"Ow!"
"Ace."
Not quite satisfied, Cinderace decides to annoy him further and tucks Gou against him, wrapping his trainer up in fur he knows is incredibly soft. His smile is smug as Gou snuggles up to him in his sleep, and he basks in the outraged and jealous look on Satoshi's face.
Eventually Satoshi also falls asleep. His dreams are plagued by destruction and fiery red hair until he is snapped awake by Pikachu's tail and Cinderace's feet.
The splashes of red on Cinderave's fur almost drag him back down into his nightmare but he manages to keep himself still.
Pikachu presses his phone into his hands after a moment and he mindlessly opens his message history with Professor Kukui.
He calms down as he reads it. No one is hunting him anymore. He's safe. He lived in Alola and nothing followed him. He doesn't have to go anywhere he doesn't want to. His pokemon are safe.
Eventually his phone drops from his hands, his grip is weak and the adrenaline has passed, luckily Rotom was awake enough to float back towards the seat. He wants to go home.
He feels himself smile a little as he looks at Gou. He wants to go to Alola right now, and take Gou with him. He wants to sleep on the beach and help Burnet with whatever she was doing, and help take care of his little brother, and so many things. But he needs to complete his goal first. But he wants Gou there with him.
When Gou finally cracks his eyes open he is startled to find one human and two pokemon staring at him.
"Um...what is it, was I snoring?"
"Nah."
Gou decides not to ask.The thoughtful look from earlier is back on Satoshi's face, so he lets them spend the rest of the ride in relative silence. If he notices Satoshi sneaking glances at him and Cinderace letting Satoshi touch his fur, he saves his questions for later.
When they get home, they're both exhausted. The distance between them and Johto wasn't as far as some of their other trips but the route they had to take was roundabout and long, their sleep constantly interrupted.
They stayed awake as long as they could after getting home late in the afternoon and spent time with the pokemon that were hanging out in the park before heading to bed.
Satoshi was still quiet.
"Satoshi?"
"Yeah?"
"Is something wrong?"
Satoshi goes quiet again. Gou knows that when Satoshi goes quiet he's really thinking about what to say next or he's about to tell a terrible lie that Gou won't be able to find it in himself to call the other boy out for.
"Sorry, was I acting weird?"
"Just quieter than usual."
"I'm okay, just had a nightmare."
"Oh… do you want some hot chocolate? I mean- uh, that's what my grandma always used to make me."
"That sounds great!"
Gou smiles back almost on instinct.
The hot chocolate truly seems to have calmed Satoshi down and he seems much better while playing with the marshmallows left at the bottom of the cup.
Once they are back in the room he makes Satoshi take his bunk even though they hadn't done laundry like they usually do before switching beds.
When Satoshi asks why, Gou talks about how his grandma used to wrap him up in his mom's favorite blanket. Of course he'd never let her do that now. He's almost twenty. But it was still a precious memory. Gou hugs Satoshi almost absent mindedly, only given away by his tight grip on Satoshi's back before moving to coax Cinderace out of his pokeball so he can sleep outside the way he likes.
After that, Satoshi climbs in without complaint, waiting until he thinks Gou isn't paying attention to trap himself in Gou's blanket and bury his face in the soft pillow as Pikachu curls against his side.
Satoshi decides that this is nice and almost wishes he was brave enough to ask Gou to come sleep with him so he could hug him instead but he refrains. He's happy enough to cry with how much care Gou has shown, in his own quiet way, and before he knows it, he's asleep.
He wakes the next morning to a World Championship battle request. He rushes to get ready but pauses when he notices Gou getting ready as well.
"Weren't you going to check something out in the forest today?"
"I can do it later, I wanna see your battle!"
Satoshi's grin is bright as he drags Gou outside by the hand. This continues all the way up the hill to the bus before Gou realizes Satoshi is not letting go. He's reminded of his own anxiety from the day before and stays quiet until he can't stand it anymore. Satoshi's hand is almost burning him with it's warmth and Gou feels like he's sitting too close to a Charizard's flame. He isn't mentally prepared for this at all but he thinks he finally understands something important.
He thought he was the only one scared of losing people or important things but so was Satoshi. Of course he was. He’d travelled so much and he’d started so many adventures expecting to be alone .
"Satoshiiii," Gou whines, voice a little quiet "I'll stick with you as long as you want but can I have my hand back?"
"Eh?" Satoshi ignores the warmth in his chest at the blunt statement, "What is it, are you embarrassed?"
Gou doesn't try to get out of Satoshi's grip.
"Yes, " he hisses, his face red "I won't disappear on you, now let go for a minute."
Satoshi giggles as he lets go. Gou is so smart, he figured out exactly what they were both worried about. He's going to stick with Satoshi the same way Satoshi wanted to stick with Gou. This could work.
"Does that mean I can hold your hand again after a minute?"
" Arceus. "