Archive of Our Own ^beta

"What do you mean he can't speak?!" Jay exclaimed

"Yeah, I'm not sure what happened either." Jungwon said running a hand through his hair "Sunghoon hyung was telling me his throat was hurting yesterday and it somehow led to this."

"So you just lost your voice? That's it right?" Jay said turning to Sunghoon who stood next to Jungwon.

Sunghoon shook his head and pointed to his throat, flailing his arms all over the place attempting to use sign language.

"You know I can't understand a single thing you're saying right?" Jay said making Sunghoon sigh

"Um wait," Jay said tearing a page off of his notebook that he always carried around for writing lyrics. He handed the page to Sunghoon along with a pen.

Sunghoon gratefully took the page and quickly wrote something in it before handing it back to Jay.

'Tare your pages neater!' The note read. Jungwon peered over to see what Sunghoon had written and chuckled at the message.

"Sunghoon hyung is still Sunghoon hyung." Jungwon laughed "even when he can't speak he finds a way to tease you."

"I can already sense a headache coming." Jay sighed glaring at a smiling Sunghoon.

Practice went by smoothly... or well as smoothly as it could considering Sunghoon couldn't speak. Currently he was flailing his arms wildly and gesturing at Jake trying to let the Australian know where his position was.

Jay sighed and tore off yet another page of his notebook and gave it to Sunghoon so the other may be able to communicate better.

Sunghoon took the paper and pen with a grateful smile and scribbled something down on it before handing it back to Jay instead of Jake.

'Somehow this page is torn worse than the previous one Jay ah~" it read

"Goddammit, Sunghoon!" Jay groaned "stop critiquing my paper taring skills and tell Jake his position."

"But he's right Jay. Your paper taring's messy." Jake chuckled

"Yah! I'm only trying to help!" Jay whined making Sunghoon laugh silently

"We're taking a break for lunch hyungs!" Ni-ki, ever the diligent dance leader said from off to the side clapping.

Sunghoon smirked at Jay and skipped out of the room dragging Jake with him.

Jay rolled his eyes at the younger's antics. At least Sunghoon wasn't too disheartened about losing his voice.

Day two of Sunghoon losing his voice however proved to be a challenge.

"How are you gonna sing if you lost your voice?" The vocal trainer chided "See? This is why I ask you all to take good care of yourselves right before the comeback."

"Honestly speaking, Sunghoon is the best at taking care of himself." Heeseung said meekly in an attempt to defend his dongsaeng "I don't know how it happened."

Jay took a moment to glance at Sunghoon who stood beside Sunoo, a blank expression on his face. He'd always been good at schooling his expression, if Jay didn't know better he'd probably have thought Sunghoon couldn't care less about this whole situation.

But Jay knew better. He could tell from the subtle change in the younger's expression that he was indeed concerned.

"There's what 2 weeks left to the comeback? We've already postponed it once, we can't possibly do that again" The vocal trainer said

Sunghoon tried to say something but gave up with a frown seeing as he couldn't get a single sound out.

"I'm sure hyung will get better by then!" Sunoo said, being the ever-optimistic ray of sunshine that he was.

"I hope so." The vocal trainer said, "until then one of you sub for him."

And so Sunghoon sat out the vocal practice whilst the other members busily prepared for the comeback.

Day 3 and Sunghoon still hadn't gotten his voice back and at this point, it was becoming blatantly apparent to Jay that Sunghoon was starting to worry.

Jay needed to find some way to help his friend.

He had googled the best teas to cure a sore throat and had express ordered them to help Sunghoon get his voice. That morning he woke up at an ungodly hour to make Sunghoon a warm cup of tea before he woke up and even added a spoon of his favourite honey in the tea.

When Sunghoon got up and groggily stumbled out of his shared room with the maknae line, he came across Jay who looked way too pleased with himself. Naturally, the youngest of the 02z got suspicious and narrowed his eyes at Jay.

"What are you doing up this early?" Sunghoon mimed or at least Jay thinks that's what he's asking.

"Here, I got you this!" Jay said giving Sunghoon one of their season's greetings diaries.

Sunghoon gave Jay a dirty look and wrote something down.

'You got me our own merch?' The note said

"Hey! I had to pay for it okay? I got an employee discount but I still had to pay. Also, I got you this journal because you love looking at your face." Jay defended himself

'Yeah, I like looking at my face, not all of your faces.'

"Aren't you the one that always preaches 'We are Enhypen'?"

' That's only for the cameras.'

"Wow, lying to your own fans. How could you?" Jay said dramatically "Guess I won't be giving you the Jay standee that came with this then."

'Wait! Can I have the standee?'

"Oh, so you do like me huh?"

'Nah Jungwon broke my backscratcher and I need a new one. Your standee would be perfect.'

"Why do I even bother with you?" Jay shook his head "Just drink your tea."

Sunghoon tilted his head in confusion.

"I- I um... brewed you some tea for your throat." Jay said, "I heard it's good for your throat."

For a moment Sunghoon seemed surprised but soon enough he was smirking and wrote something down in his notebook.

'So you're poisoning me now, Jay ah?'

"Now why would you think that?" Jay questioned snarkily "I would never wish anything of that sort upon my bestest friend who is also my biggest hater."

'How convincing :)(: Take a test sip so I know this isn't some gross ass ginseng root bs that belift tries to feed us."

"Ugh, you can't be serious! I even added my most expensive honey in there so it tastes sweet for you." Jay whined but Sunghoon only raised an eyebrow encouraging Jay to take a sip.

"Fine goddammit!" Jay conceded "I'll taste test it for you, princess."

Sunghoon flipped Jay off at his nickname for him but watched on in satisfaction as the older's face churned into an expression of disgust at the bitter taste of the tea despite the honey he'd put in it.

He needed more honey! Jay instantly placed the cup away and found his honey bottle, squirting an ungodly amount into his mouth much to Sunghoon's disgust.

"See? Not so bad!" Jay shrugged trying to play it off cool. This obviously did not convince Sunghoon.

"Just drink it Sunghoon ah, it'll help you get better." Jay reasoned "Just chug it down like its medicine."

'Fine but only because you went through so much effort.' Sunghoon wrote in his diary and picked up the cup.

"Careful! It's-" Sunghoon took Jay's comment of chugging it down like medicine to heart the only problem is the tea's "... really hot."

The younger made a pained face and stuck his tongue out to cool after the tea had burned his mouth. Sunghoon moved his lips as if he was whining but no sound came.

"Did it burn you too much?" Jay asked cupping Sunghoon's cheek trying to investigate if he really did boil his best friend's mouth by accident "open your mouth, it's nothing too bad is it?"

"Now kiss!" A new but annoyingly familiar voice said from behind the two.

Jay and Sunghoon jumped away from each other and turned to Ni-ki who stood leaning against the kitchen doorframe with a knowing smirk.

"Oh go on being the cute, whipped, secret couple that you are. Dint mind me." The maknae said waving his hand in dismissal

Sunghoon made a face and Jay sputtered.

"What secret couple you brat?" Jay asked with a huff, busying his hands with pouring the offensive tea down the sink.

"You two obviously!" Ni-ki stated casually, "also Sunghoon hyung I accidentally broke your glasses, sorry."

In an instant, a rogue spatula was thrown at the maknae and Ni-ki beelined to the living room, Sunghoon hot on his trails. Jay prayed for the youngest's safety.

Ah yes, just another day at the dorm.

Jay was about to put away the kettle and teacup when he found Sunghoon's diary still lying on top of the kitchen counter.

'I don't think this tea will necessarily help with getting my voice back but thank you for caring Jay ah~ <3"

"Don't think it'll help?" Jay muttered to himself. Did Sunghoon sell his voice to some wicked sea witch or something? Jay dismissed that ridiculous thought with a shake of his head.

"I think Sunghoon sold his voice to a wicked sea witch," Jay said to Heeseung making the older choke on his water and cough loudly.

"Jay, this isn't the Little Mermaid." Heeseung tried to reason.

"No hyung, look at him! Just look at him!" Jay said gesturing to where Sunghoon sat with Jake and Sunoo a few tables away from them. Day four of Sunghoon losing his voice and Jay was starting to worry.

"What exactly am I supposed to be seeing?" Heeseung asked

"He's not making a single sound!" Jay pointed out just as Sunghoon soundlessly laughed at something Jake said "See! Even his laughing is muted."

"To be fair, Sunghoon does have a quieter, windshield wiper sort of laugh." Heeseung retorted

"No hyung you don't get it! I haven't heard his voice in days!"

"That sounds like a YOU problem." Heeseung pointed out

"It's a WE problem, hyung. Our comeback is in ten days! Not to mention Sunghoon's debut as Music Bank's mc is only five days away!" Jay said

"Good thing they recorded the MR for the special stage beforehand then huh? But I'm sure he'll be better by then."

"But if he's not?"

"You're more concerned about his voice than he himself is," Heeseung noted

"That's just the thing hyung! Why doesn't he seem to care about this? How is he so calm about this?" Jay asked

"I shouldn't have to tell you about how Sunghoon feels. You know just as well as me that he might look calm on the outside to not inconvenience us and make us worry about him." Heeseung said "but he's probably a mess on the inside, stressing about losing his voice. He's probably beating himself up over it."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. He'll be okay." Jay sighed looking over to where Sunghoon was grinning at Jake and Sunoo, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

"I guess I just miss him going 'Jay ah' at me in any given opportunity." Jay said making Heeseung chuckle and look at him with a knowing stare.

"What?" Jay asked

"Nothing" Heeseung smiled and continued to work on his lyrics.

Night came and after a day of busy practices and shoots and more practices, the members all clocked out for the day and settled into their rooms to get some sleep.

Jay however could not fall asleep. His mind kept drifting off to their comeback, their concept, whether the fans would like their new album, a full-length album, music shows, b-side performances, awards and eventually Sunghoon.

Was Sunghoon getting a good night's sleep knowing he'd lost his voice? If Jay knew anything about his one and only unit, he knows Sunghoon probably isn't asleep.

His suspicious were proven true when he crossed the living room to get some water but the faint light of the table lamp cast a faint glow around their cozy living room.

Sunghoon sat on the couch looking through what seemed like a script. Probably his script for music bank.

"Sunghoon ah," Jay called out softly to not startle the other but Sunghoon still jumped and let out a phantom yelp, mouth moving but no sound was produced. Jay frowned

"Why are you still up?" Jay asked. Sunghoon looked around for a moment before finding his diary and writing something down on it.

'I could ask you the same thing'

"I couldn't sleep."

'Me too'

"Sunghoon look," Jay began, now that he's here alone with Sunghoon, he might as well tell him his thoughts. "I know things are probably really hard for you right now and I know you're probably beating yourself up over it but you should know that none of us will hold this against you."

Sunghoon turned his gaze away from Jay and looked down at his hands, gulping. Jay noticed and slid his own hand between Sunghoon's and interlaced his fingers with his friend's.

"Believe me Sunghoon, we all just want you to get better. So dint beat yourself up over it and just take care of yourself okay? Get plenty of rest."

Sunghoon nodded and held the pen with his free hand to write something down.

'But what if I don't get my voice back?'

"Don't say that Sunghoonie, I'll make sure you get your voice back even if it means I have to defeat an evil sea witch."

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow at Jay's weird analogy and let out soundless chuckles.

"Anyways it's getting late, I'm gonna go to bed," Jay said getting up but stopping I his tracks when he noticed that Sunghoon didn't make a move to get up.

"Aren't you going to bed?" Jay asked and Sunghoon shook his head pointing to his mubank script.

"That can wait Sunghoon ah, you need to get rest and heal or all that preparing you're doing is gonna be a waste." Jay said. Sunghoon frowned at his friend still unmoving from the couch.

"So stubborn" Jay mumbled and took matters into his own hands, quite literally by carrying Sunghoon bridal style in one swoop just like he'd done that one time in I-Land.

Sunghoon let out a soundless gasp and began to pinch at Jay's cheeks to be let down.

"Gosh, you've gotten heavier since I-Land." a slap to Jay's arm "but thankfully I've been working out. Now stay still or I'll drop your ass on the floor."

Sunghoon, much to no one's surprise did not stay still and Jay came pretty damn close to dropping Sunghoon and falling to the ground himself but pushed forward till the two reached his shared room with Jake.

Jay set Sunghoon down, still clutching on to the younger's wrist and pulled him into the room with him.

"If you can't sleep on your own, you can sleep with me." Jay said tiptoeing across the room and dragging Sunghoon along with him, careful not to disturb a sleeping Jake.

Sunghoon unable to vocally refuse Jay, pinched at the other's arm making him yelp. Jake groaned in his sleep.

"Don't do that!" Jay whisper shouted, pulling Sunghoon with him down on his bed and holding on tight so the younger couldn't escape.

Sunghoon wiggled around for a while trying to escape before giving up and succumbing to the soft bed and Jay's comforting warmth.

The next day, Jay woke up to an empty spot behind him. Not that he was expecting Sunghoon to still be there, the boy always wakes up at the crack of dawn to take a shower before the others wake up.

Okay, maybe that's a healthy lifestyle and Jay's the one to be judged for wanting to get in some extra sleep in favour of hiding his unwashed hair with a bucket hat.

Speaking of unhealthy lifestyles.

"Aye, you're up! Want some ramen?" Jake asked as Jay sleepily stumbled into the kitchen.

"Who has ramen for breakfast?" Jay said

"You weren't up yet, someone had to make breakfast!" Jake shrugged, oh right he had six children to feed.

"You should have just woken me up."

"Awe but you were so cute all cuddled up with Sunghoon."

"I'm not a cuddler." Jay grumbled

"I would like to formally disagree with that statement." Jungwon, the little shit announced as he walked into the kitchen area.

"And the pictures on my phone would also beg to differ." Jake said waving his phone in the air.

"You took pictures?!" Jay shouted

"It was too cute not to take pics." Jake simply said

"Show me! Show me!" Jungwon said enthusiastically

"Can the two of you shut up!" Jay playfully shouted making his members laugh.

"Why are y'all so loud this early?" Heeseung walked in groaning

"Early?" Sunoo giggled from behind him "it's 11 am hyung"

Ni-ki came in behind Sunoo, sleepily holding on to his hyung's shirt.

"That's what you get for staying up late playing video games. At least we don't have any schedules for the morning." Jungwon said

Jay who'd gravitated towards the stove mid-conversation and was somehow flipping eggs at this point turned towards his members and did a quick headcount.

1..,2.., 3... .. ...6,...?

There were only six of them? Jay counted himself too so the missing person was...

"Where's Sunghoon?" Jay asked

"I think hyung was saying he had practice today for the mubank performance." Sunoo said

He had practice today? Why hadn't he told Jay?

"Oh..." Jay said, "Anyways, come get breakfast everyone and no Sunoo you cannot have jelly for breakfast!"

Sunoo grumbled and sat down at the table, others following suit. Sunghoon's chair that was adjacent to Jay alone was left empty making the older frown.

Jake caught on to the gesture immediately and exchanged a knowing glance with Sunoo.

"It's weird not having Sunghoon hyung here." Sunoo broke the silence with a pout.

"I rather enjoy the peace and quiet we've had for the past few days." Heeseung joked making the others laugh along with him. Everyone except Jay.

"It hasn't been the same since he lost his voice." Jay sighed immediately shutting the laughter down.

"Hyung will get better soon right?" Ni-ki asked

"I hope so but to be honest I'm a little worried." Jungwon said "It's been a few days now and hyung can't even make a sound? That's not how sore throats work, it's weird isn't it?"

Jay glanced around the table, eyes briefly meeting Jake's. Upon locking eyeshadow, the Australian immediately shifted his gaze away from Jay. What's with him?

"He'll be fine, let's not think too much about it. Sunghoon's probably worried enough as is, let's not add to that." Heeseung said

With that, the conversation shifted away from Sunghoon to self-care routines and comebacks. Jay contributed lightly to the conversation but his mind kept wandering off.

When breakfast was over, the boys adhering to their brand played rock, paper, scissors to determine who was going to wash the dishes.

Naturally, Jungwon who was admittedly terrible at this game lost and was tasked with doing the dishes. Jay stayed back to encourage his favourite dongsaeng.

Jungwon was collecting all the members' dirty dishes when he noticed one of their Season's Greetings diaries lying idle on the dining table.

"Why's this here?" Jungwon asked

"Oh, that's Sunghoon's diary right?" Jay said picking up the book. "Guess he must have left it here this morning or something.

Jay absently flipped through the pages to see what kind of conversations Sunghoon was having.

'You put toothpaste in my shampoo?!'

'You better sleep with one eye open tonight Riki :))'

The first page that Jay opened read making the boy chuckle. Jungwon looked over Jay's shoulder and smiled at the writing.

"Safe to say, Ni-ki didn't sleep a wink the night." The younger attested and went back to washing the dishes

"Listen to this one" Jay said flipping over a different page.

'Hyung I thought I asked you to put away all the clothes?'

'By put away I meant in our wardrobe space, not in A FREAKING BOX?!'

"Wow, Sunghoon hyung's had it hard huh?" Jungwon laughed and Jay hummed in agreement, flipping to the next page.

'It started as a prank but Jay's treating me so well, I can't help but want this forever lol'

'I know I should stop. I know everyone's concerned, especially Jay but he takes such good care of me I don't want it to end

Jungwon froze as Jay read those words out loud.

"What..?" The younger said confused, Jay read on.

'Me and my stupid crush'

'Just one more day Jakey, I know it's selfish but just one more day.'

"Hyung, I don't think we should be looking..." Jungwon trailed off but Jay wasn't listening.

He flipped to the next page and scanned through the pages, shutting the diary just as the door opened.

Sunghoon was back.

Jay stomped over to the door to go find his 'mute' friend.

"Hyung! Don't!" Jungwon tried to stop him but the older wasn't listening.

As he approached Sunghoon, the other had just removed his shoes and beamed at Jay.

It infuriated him.

"What the heck are you trying to pull huh?" Jay asked cornering Sunghoon to the wall.

Sunghoon stared back with wide eyes.

"Say something!" Jay gritted out squeezing and shaking Sunghoon by the shoulders "Say something! Godammit!!"

Sunghoon as startled as he was mouthed 'Jongseong' but there was no sound. By now all the other members had heard Jay's shouts and were standing in the hallway watching, not knowing what to do.

"Your act is up Sunghoon. I read your diary now start talking already!" Jay said

"Jay, calm down." Jake began "There's more to-"

"If there's more then he can explain it!" Jay cut Jake off holding on to Sunghoon's collar.

"Hyung-" Sunoo cried out

"I know you haven't lost your voice! Now stop fucking lying!" Jay shouted pulling on Sunghoon's collar "Explain yourself! Open your fucking mouth and talk!!"

Sunghoon kept silent, eyes welling up with tears.

"For fuck's sake!" Jay sighed raising his clenched fist. Sunghoon flinched and shut his eyes tight as Jay's fist hit the wall.

With that Jay turned and walked out of the front door.

"Jay ah! Where are you going?" Heeseung asked but Jay didn't answer and walked faster.

"Sunghoon hyung!" He heard Ni-ki say. He didn't need to turn back to know that Sunghoon was following him out.

' Jake , I'm in trouble'

'Remember when I said I'm gonna pretend I've lost my voice?'

'I don't know what happened but I can't make a single sound since last night.'

'Nothing Jake ! I can't speak.'

'This is what I get for lying to the others.'

'What do I do Jake ?'

What are you gonna do Sunghoon?

Someone held Jay's wrist, turning him around.

"What?" Jay asked, "nothing to say?"

Sunghoon opened his mouth again to explain but no sound came out.

"You're gonna keep this act up?" Jay asked with a scoff.

Once again Sunghoon tried to say something but yet again nothing.

"Okay then, be fucking stubborn! Keep this up and you'll be out of Enhypen."

Sunghoon's eyes widened in shock.

"What good is a singer if he can't sing?" Jay questioned pulling away from Sunghoon's grip while the other stood there shocked.

Sunghoon let his tears fall, soft hiccups accompanied them. Sunghoon moved his mouth a few times trying to get something out, anything.

"J- Jay ah" Sunghoon croaked out very feebly.

Jay let out a sigh of relief and hugged Sunghoon. The younger startled and confused let out a noise.

"Thank goodness! Your voice is back Sunghoon ah!" Jay exclaimed pulling away from the hug.

"It's back?" Sunghoon said, still sounding feeble but it was a start at least "but you... you were mad at me just now."

"I did what I had to do to get your voice back. I honestly didn't think it would work but thankfully it did!" Jay rambled "I'm sorry for being harsh on you, but we were running out of options"

"So you knew I wasn't faking it?" Sunghoon asked softly

"I knew Sunghoon ah. I know you wouldn't fake something so serious." Jay reassured "but I'm surprised your voice is back. Did someone defeat the sea witch who took away your voice?" 

"You're really rolling with the sea which thing huh? But I don't know how I got my voice back. For those last few moments I desperately wanted to explain myself to you." Sunghoon said, "and it just happened, I don't know how."

"Well I'm glad you can talk again and it all worked out in the end."

"Yes, and I think I have you to thank for that Jay ah."

"Gosh, how I missed you calling me 'Jay ah'!" Jay smiled making Sunghoon giggle as well.

"And to think this all started because you wanted my attention." Jay teased making Sunghoon splutter and turn red

"Wait, how much of my journal did you read?"

"All of it."

"Oh," Sunghoon said, "so you..." He trailed off not knowing how to bring up the contents of the book.

"Yep, I read that you have a bit of a crush on me." Jay said making Sunghoon let out a shaky breath

"Oh um," Sunghoon looked about ready to cry again "I- you don't need to answ- just forget about that." He stuttered making Jay frown.

"What if I don't want to forget though?" Jay asked

"What...?"

Jay smiled taking Sunghoon's hands in his own.

"You know, you really should have said something earlier instead of staying silent."

Jay brought Sunghoon's hands up to his lips and gave them a gentle kiss.

"Sunghoon ah, I feel the same way."