Chapter Text
The door clicked shut behind me. It didn’t slam like when my brothers walked in, no, it’d never do that again. They weren’t here to slam it anymore. It was just me.
I should’ve been ready for this, used to it. I mean, mom and dad, then Sodapop, now Ponyboy. Not to mention Johnny and Dallas. And yet I still wasn’t ready for this night. I wasn’t ready to come in to an empty house—not home. Home was home even when it was empty. This was some walls, a roof, and memories I couldn’t bring myself to think of yet. It’d hurt too bad.
But I’d be okay. I’d done this before. Plenty of times. I’d wake up tomorrow and I’d carry on like I would any other day. I’d wake up, make breakfast, and go to work. Except now I’d have to make breakfast for one and I’d be the one left for the dishes.
But I’d carry on.
Just. Carry. On.
So that’s what I did. I got myself ready for bed like I would any other night.
No talking from the other room.
I checked the house for any good nights I had to give.
None.
And I went to bed.
I couldn’t sleep.
I just really wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready for this.