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Jiang Cheng is no longer afraid to say that he’s happy. It took him a while, sure, but coming to live with the Nie’s is honestly the best thing that ever happened to him and their unwavering support makes it easy to finally accept that he’s happy and good and loved.
It was a bit of work—his therapist would definitely agree with that—but in the end he got there.
And Jiang Cheng wouldn’t change a single thing about his life right now. Even though there can be some annoying parts.
“Come on, A-Cheng,” Nie Huaisang needles him over dinner.
“Come on, what?” he gives back as he rolls his eyes, sharing a small smile with Mo Xuanyu who just laughs at the antics of his boyfriend.
“Tell us!” Nie Huaisang almost yells out and Nie Mingjue raises an eyebrow at him. “Da-ge, come on, that was happy yelling,” Nie Huaisang immediately whines, but Nie Mingjue does not seem convinced.
“Keep it down or move it to the room,” Nie Mingjue shortly gives back, and Jiang Cheng snickers at that.
“We’re not moving it to the room, cause there isn’t even anything to tell,” Jiang Cheng tells them and Nie Huaisang gapes at him.
“You’ve got to be lying,” he finally decides and Jiang Cheng sighs.
“I’m not,” he tells him, and he only feels a tiny little bit bad that he is lying to him.
But Jiang Cheng is not about to mention that he’s in love with Nie Mingjue—not to Nie Huaisang and especially not with Nie Mingjue sitting at the table—and it’s honestly not even that of a big thing.
He had a crush on Nie Mingjue long before he came to live with Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang and despite his feelings Jiang Cheng is still entirely happy.
Nothing will ever come of his feelings, and that’s alright and not something to worry over and Jiang Cheng will just continue on living. Maybe he’ll eventually fall out of love, maybe he won’t, but it doesn’t matter.
He’s happy.
“You must have someone in mind,” Nie Huaisang accuses him and Jiang Cheng realizes with a start that he was smiling into his rice. “That smile tells me there must be someone.”
“Or maybe I’m just laughing at you,” Jiang Cheng shoots back and his smile widens when Nie Mingjue laughs at that.
“Would serve him right,” Nie Mingjue laughs out.
“No, no, that smile was too sweet for that,” Mo Xuanyu now chimes in as well and Jiang Cheng feels ganged-up on.
But instead of that making his hackles rise, he just laughs as well. It’s all in good faith here, and he doesn’t have to fear accusations or harsh words.
“You’re too sweet,” Jiang Cheng says in an absolutely childish manner and to top it off he also sticks his tongue out to Mo Xuanyu.
“Hey, that’s my boyfriend, you can’t have him,” Nie Huaisang protests and almost lunges over the table to grab Mo Xuanyu.
“Good thing I don’t want him,” Jiang Cheng says right before he stuffs some rice in his mouth.
Dinners are always chaotic like that and while in the beginning it was overwhelming for Jiang Cheng, he now loves them.
“But seriously, if there is someone, you’d tell us, right?” Nie Huaisang asks once he’s back in his own seat.
“Maybe,” Jiang Cheng says with a shrug.
“Why only maybe?” Mo Xuanyu now inquires as well and even Nie Mingjue seems interested in his answer.
“Well, depends on if I think I have a chance,” Jiang Cheng honestly gives back. “There’s no use in pining over a boy if I don’t stand a chance with him.”
Nie Huaisang blinks at him.
“But where’s the fun in it if you can’t even whine about it?”
Jiang Cheng shrugs again.
“I don’t need to whine about it. I’d rather keep it to myself.”
And his therapist. His therapist knows about his feelings, because it was quite the problem for Jiang Cheng for a long while. He was worried it’s just a co-dependency or something, that he fell in love with Nie Mingjue because he was nice to him, but they worked through that and now Jiang Cheng can honestly say that he’s in love with Nie Mingjue for all the right reasons.
And that’s totally okay, even though Jiang Cheng is sure that Nie Mingjue will never see anything more in him than another little brother.
Which is also totally okay for Jiang Cheng.
“Well, Huaisang, maybe you should take a hint from that and keep every other thought to yourself, too,” Nie Mingjue chimes in, making Nie Huaisang splutter in indignation.
Jiang Cheng laughs along with Mo Xuanyu and he thinks that this is already pretty perfect.
Even though he can’t reach across the table and hold Nie Mingjue’s hand.
~*~*~
When Jiang Cheng comes home, he’s surprised to find it empty. Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu are supposed to be home right now, and Nie Mingjue will surely arrive in a few minutes, but it’s not like Jiang Cheng minds an empty house anymore.
He used to dread it, coming home to an empty, cold building, but even with the absence of the other’s this house feels homely and warm and Jiang Cheng doesn’t feel at all lonely.
Jiang Cheng just vanished into his room to change into more comfortable clothes when he hears the front door.
He sticks his head out of his room, ready to call out to whoever just arrived but when he hears Nie Mingjue’s voice, he falls silent.
“I will not tell him, Huaisang!” Nie Mingjue hotly says and Jiang Cheng frowns.
It seems like he is on the phone because Jiang Cheng can’t hear an answer from Nie Huaisang, but Nie Mingjue huffs in anger.
“And then what, huh? Absolutely not!”
Another silence. Jiang Cheng knows he should either get back into his room and pretend that he never heard anything at all, or come out and greet Nie Mingjue to let him know that he’s not alone but something keeps him glued to the spot.
“What if Wanyin doesn’t understand?” Nie Mingjue asks and now there is no chance that Jiang Cheng is going to interrupt him, he’s way too curious for that.
“What if he can’t look past it? This is his refuge and I refuse to take this home from him.”
Jiang Cheng frowns at that as a sinking feeling threatens to swallow him whole.
“I’m not going to—Huaisang, that would be betraying his trust! Never suggest anything like that again!”
Jiang Cheng does not want to listen to this anymore—and he guesses the feeling of despair is what he gets for eavesdropping in the first place—but he also can’t bring himself to move.
“No, Huaisang! It could change everything and if he can’t ignore it—if he can’t trust me again after telling him then I’ll have destroyed the one good place for him. I would rather die than do that.”
Jiang Cheng blinks, and he wonders what Nie Mingjue could have done that is so horrible, that is going to make Jiang Cheng turn away from him.
“This discussion is over!” Nie Mingjue decides suddenly and apparently hangs up because he doesn’t say anything else.
Jiang Cheng debates just ignoring this; if he doesn’t know, it can’t hurt him after all. But now that he knows that something is wrong, he simply has to know. The uncertainty will eat away at him forever if he doesn’t get an answer to what Nie Mingjue did and so he squares his shoulders and walks towards the kitchen where he can hear Nie Mingjue.
Jiang Cheng’s heart is beating a painfully fast rhythm in his chest and his hands shake, but he has to know. He will ask and they will find a way through this, because Jiang Cheng cannot stand to lose another family.
“Mingjue,” he says and watches how Nie Mingjue jumps in surprise.
“Wanyin,” he says, but he sounds panicked. “I didn’t know you are home.”
“Clearly,” Jiang Cheng can’t help but to say and he can see that Nie Mingjue instantly understands that he heard everything. “Tell me what you mean, Mingjue.”
“Wanyin, I—” he starts but Jiang Cheng can tell that he’s going to look for excuses and he won’t have it.
“Just tell me, Mingjue. We can—I mean, how bad can it be, right?” he asks with a small laugh, because there are at least a dozen bad scenarios in his head brewing at this moment. “If you’re—talking to my parents you should let me know. If it’s a work thing, then that’s fine, I understand but if it’s something else—just tell me, alright?”
Jiang Cheng is close to begging Nie Mingjue because he needs to know, he needs to know if they can fix this or if his world is being shattered again.
“I’m not talking to your parents, Wanyin, I would never do that, especially not behind your back” Nie Mingjue immediately tells him and he comes closer.
He clearly wants to reach out for Jiang Cheng but thinks better of it in the last moment and Jiang Cheng closes the distance between them so he can fist his hands in Nie Mingjue’s shirt.
“Then just tell me what’s going on,” he demands and Nie Mingjue sighs.
His face goes all sad and soft and it’s almost too much for Jiang Cheng to stand right now.
“Wanyin,” he says again and Jiang Cheng shakes his hands.
“Mingjue, tell me right now what you did!”
“I fell in love with you,” Nie Mingjue gently tells him and removes Jiang Cheng’s hands from his shirt before he takes a step back. “I love you. I’m not going to say it again, and nothing will change, alright? I would never do anything to misuse your trust, please believe me. It doesn’t have to mean anything at all and I hope you can look past it.”
Jiang Cheng feels like he can’t breathe, his heart in his throat and his stomach doing somersaults and he’s so happy he could cry, but he sees the genuine worry on Nie Mingjue’s face and he has to rectify that immediately.
This is not something to be scared of.
Jiang Cheng moves forward, putting his hands on Nie Mingjue’s shoulders and he leans up on his toes until his lips brush against Nie Mingjue’s.
He thinks that’s a pretty clear answer, but when he moves back, something in Nie Mingjue’s face twists and he puts his hands to Jiang Cheng’s elbows and gently moves him away.
“You don’t have to do that,” Nie Mingjue whispers. “There are no obligations here. I’m not going to demand anything of you, so you don’t have to be afraid. Nothing will change; your stay here is still unconditional and you don’t have to pay me back.”
Jiang Cheng blinks at that, before anger bubbles up inside of him. But there’s a rule in this house and Jiang Cheng will obey it.
“Room, now,” he snaps and Nie Mingjue flinches at his tone but Jiang Cheng doesn’t wait for an answer.
He storms off, certain that Nie Mingjue will follow him and indeed he does. When he closes the door to the room behind him, he seems scared, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t let him wait too long.
“You absolute fucking bafoon,” Jiang Cheng snaps and Nie Mingjue’s eyes go wide. “I did not spend several hours with my therapist exploring if I was only attracted to you because you were kind to me or because I felt like I needed to repay you for you to make this an issue now. I did not go through all of that for you to not believe me right now!”
“Wanyin—”
“No, shut the hell up! I get that you’re concerned, but goddamit, Mingjue, I’ve had a crush on you sine I was a teenager and I know you never noticed my poor attempts at flirting but to have you not even believe me now—that’s just too much!”
“What are you saying?” Nie Mingjue haltingly asks and Jiang Cheng glares at him.
“I kissed you. What do you think I’m saying?”
“I’m not—going to assume anything anymore,” Nie Mingjue decides and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.
“I love you, too, you idiot,” he tells him. “And now will you let me kiss you, for god’s sake?”
The words barely left Jiang Cheng’s mouth before Nie Mingjue crushes into him, his lips hot on Jiang Cheng’s.
“Finally,” Jiang Cheng pants when they eventually part and Nie Mingjue cups his cheek in his hand.
“Is this really fine? No misplaced sense of guilt or that you have to repay me or that you can’t say no to me out of fear?” Nie Mingjue still asks, but he keeps stroking his thumb over Jiang Cheng’s cheek and Jiang Cheng nuzzles into his hand.
“This is so much more than fine,” he tells him. “I love you. I worked it out with my therapist, I promise. None of those reasons you just said apply. I’m in love with you, pure and simple, okay?”
“Okay,” Nie Mingjue says with a smile and leans in for another kiss. “Do you—what happens in the room stays in the room,” he reminds Jiang Cheng then. “Do you want us to keep this a secret?”
“Fuck no,” Jiang Cheng hotly gives back. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, I want to let the entire world know that I bagged you.”
“You have been spending too much time with Xuanyu,” Nie Mingjue says with a pained grimace and Jiang Cheng laughs.
He doesn’t even stop when Nie Mingjue kisses the laughter right out of his mouth.
“Maybe, yes,” Jiang Cheng whispers. “But from now on I’m going to spend all my time with you.”
“Deal,” Nie Mingjue agrees and pulls Jiang Cheng out of the room, holding his hand the entire time.
Jiang Cheng can certainly get used to that.