Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Simmons! Come look at Calhoun! His body seems to be in some sort of Resonance Displacement-”

In that split second that he heard the telltale and otherworldly woosh , in a quick gush of choking vitriol Barney Calhoun decided that he hated portals.

He shut his eyes firmly against the bright green light that flooded his vision. With a jolt he felt himself being ripped once again across the fabric of space and time, away from Rosenberg and away from escape, and was suddenly sent stumbling once again on the rough and pulsating terrain of Xen. He whipped his head around frantically as he took in the horribly familiar surroundings. Nauseating dread began to pool heavily in his stomach as-

Blinding green light filled his eyes in a flash across his vision and he was torn away from Xen, his feet touching nothing until they unsteadily found a familiar tile flooring. He once again struggled to regain his footing, staggering painfully into a concrete wall, where he then braced himself. 

Barney, taking this chance to catch his breath, quickly surveyed the room- a darkly lit storage space. It looked like he was in Black Mesa once again. It didn’t do much to ease the dread in his gut. Really didn’t do much. All he could really hope for was being whisked right back to the entrance- though he somehow knew that was not going to be the case. 

Through the grate far up on the wall that provided the only light source, he heard the telltale heavy bootfalls and radio static of HECU soldiers, and he instinctively snatched his scuffed up SMG from its makeshift holster on his back and ducked from sight, adrenaline from the entire day still pumping wildly in his veins.

Barney’s heart was pounding in his ears, and it was hard to make out what exactly the two were saying, but he heard what was most important. Saw what was most important.

In all his bright orange and armored glory was Gordon, unconscious and being unceremoniously dragged along the concrete ground, metal scraping loudly against the floor as he was tugged by his arms to his doom. His friend. His… 

For a moment, Barney stood mouth agape, unsure of what to do as his heart rate started to race even faster. Then, hearing the guards smugly chuckle to themselves, he felt a swell of rage. How dare they? Dropping his gun, the security guard flung himself at the grate, hooking his fingers and preparing to tug with all his might.

“Let go of him you fu-!”

Without any warning, Barney once again felt himself ripped roughly from where he stood, attempting to cling on to the gate but failing as he was flung across whatever hell he was being flung across, his vision once again flashing that blinding and nauseating green. Barney couldn’t stand that green, that stringing around of his cells and his mind and, he couldn’t stand it, and he needed to save him, and… and…

His vision was fuzzy and rapidly dimming as he vaguely felt the universe spit him back out again. He felt the sensation of his feet touching down on solid ground, followed swiftly by the rest of his body as he hit the floor, his vision swallowed by darkness.

.

Consciousness, much like many other things that day, hit Barney with a blow to the head. Or rather, to the helmet, but it still stung like a bitch.

Barney’s eyes snapped open, his gaze wildly out of focus as he made out the shapes of two HECU soldiers just behind him, turning their backs to him with a chuckle- something that felt sickeningly similar to what he had seen happening to Gordon just minutes… No, how long had he been out? 

He immediately felt his body’s fight or flight kick in and he scrambled for his SMG, but it was nowhere to be found. Barney’s heart dropped, but he quickly fumbled with his pistol holster, flipping onto his belly and, before the two guards could react he rapidly fired into each of them until they dropped to the floor with that solid thud that he had grown so depressingly familiar with.

Barney let out a shaky breath, turning onto his back on the filthy floor once again, willing back another wave of nausea. Blearily he glanced at his surroundings, taking in the concrete walls and dusty tile floors, the wreckage and the blood smears across shattered windows to what were once offices. 

Barney was in Black Mesa again. He wasn’t sure how far in, or where the hell he was, but his heart dropped to his stomach at this thought. He was almost out- he was right there at the exit, he had fought tooth and nail and risked his life to get there with everyone alive, and now he was back where he began. Barney swore, slamming a fist against the ground in frustration, then, after a tense moment’s pause, he angrily willed his muscles to pull himself into a sitting position. He couldn’t lose hope, not now.

He’d just have to escape again. He’d already done it once, after all. He could even save Gordon on his way out, and then he… he wouldn’t have to be alone in this mess anymore.

Barney had always been an optimist.

Chapter Text

Less than 3 hours after waking up in a confused haze, still not entirely sure of what the hell was going on or even of his own consciousness, Corporal Adrian Shephard found himself on his hands and knees in a cramped metal pipe, 12 inches deep in murky water.

Adrian tried to ignore the way that his uniform now uncomfortably clung to his body, and how the numerous guns he’d scavenged since he awoke weighed, strapped haphazardly to his back. He just focused his attention on the path ahead, just how he was trained. Just get out of here.

The dim and foreboding red lighting was blocked out, and the tunnel ahead was lit up instead in bright and flickering greens through his grimy night-vision goggles as he sloshed along. He felt his ever disobedient thoughts start to drift from the task ahead, though he didn’t make an effort to redirect them.

Adrian didn’t think he’d ever forget the face of the pale bastard who had trapped him inside Black Mesa. The man’s sharp blue eyes as they bored directly into Adrian through the window. The man he had seen monitoring him at camp, dressed in crisp blues and an air of impossible mystery. He looked like a fucking insurance agent.

Finally, Adrian reached the end of the pipe where the murky water gushed down into what appeared to be a shallow pool on the other side. Twisting uncomfortably so that he exited feet first, he dropped down with a splash, quickly snapping his head back up to survey his surroundings.

It was more of the same, dimly lit concrete walls, with big numbers painted on the walls that Adrian still didn’t understand the point of. Then, he found what he was looking for- lit up in the flickering greens of his goggles he saw a ladder leading up to what looked like an opening to the surface.

Thank jesus. He had had enough of these cramped, damp tunnels. What the hell was Black… Whatever this company was called doing with these large pools of water, anyway? He didn’t spare the energy to think about it any longer as he sloshed over to the ladder, boots squeaking on each rung as he ascended.

Adrian hoisted himself up onto the tiled floor, turning night vision off as he emerged into the bright and clinical LEDs of the upper level. He brushed himself off and blew out a breath through his gas mask, having found himself in another one of the place’s weird lab facilities.

Suddenly, he heard gunshots from behind a door to his right, and instinctively he pulled out his SMG, aiming it at the door as he shifted into a more focused state.

The door swung violently open, and a man came crashing through, dressed in badly scuffed up security guard’s attire. Adrian noticed just in time to not pull the trigger in surprise, and watched as the man quickly attempted to shut the door on a few scientists-turned-zombies.

“Ah-“ Adrian blurted, making the stranger whip his head around in alarm.

His eyes narrowed and quickly he yanked a pistol from where it was holstered at his hip and aimed it at Adrian.

What the hell’s with this guy?! Adrian thought as he raised his gun defensively. Both would have taken the shot had the zombies not managed to take advantage of the distraction to burst through the door.

“Look out!” Adrian shouted, redirecting his aim to the creatures as the man dove out of the way and onto the floor. He opened fire on the zombies in the doorway, the machine gun rattling forcefully with each bullet as the three monsters crumpled to the floor, scarlet and sickly green oozing from them as it spread across the tiles. 

As the last one fell, the parasitic alien crab-whatever-launched itself off the bastard’s head and directly at the man who was scrambling to get to his feet. Heart pounding, Adrian rushed forward and unhooked his pipe wrench, slamming it heavily into the head-crab with a meaty thud! 

It went flying into the wall and slid onto the floor, limp.

Adrian took a moment to look at the dead alien, breathing hard. Then he looked at the security guard on the floor next to him. The dark-haired man was looking up at him, gun still drawn but aimed slightly downward now.

“Are we good?” Adrian panted, voice muffled through the mask, “because I don’t really wanna get shot.”

The stranger, upon second glance, looked around Adrian’s age- probably a few years his senior. His patchy brown-teal eyes were guarded and held mixed confusion and caution, and his tanned skin streaked with dirt and blood. 

“You… Helped me?” The stranger uttered, speaking with a country drawl, shaking his head in disbelief.

Adrian shook his head back, then shot him a look of confusion-  maybe it didn’t come across through the gas mask.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“B-Because every one of your HEC-whatever buddies I’ve encountered today has tried to kill me, so why the hell wouldn’t you let me die like every other security guard in this dump?” The man said, still a bit breathless.

“They’ve been…” Adrian’s heart dropped.

Suddenly, the scattered corpses of scientists and security riddled with bullet holes made sense, and more suddenly, Adrian felt a wave of disgust . He thought bitterly back to the retreat orders of his fellow soldiers, among the chaos of the apparent alien invasion.

Had that been their assignment? Adrian had been knocked out before learning what their objective at Black Mesa really was, as his superiors had refused to tell them prior to departure. Was he really sent here on a cover-up job? To massacre civilians? 

“Shit… Should’ve known.”

Watching Adrian’s distress at the revelation, the dark-haired stranger looked confused.

“Are you trying to tell me you didn’t know your own assignment?”

“I didn’t get the memo, apparently. We crashed, took a blow to the head. I only woke up about 3 hours ago.” Adrian said darkly, before adding on. “Not that I would’ve done it anyways.”

“Oh.” The man said simply.

It seemed the guy believed him, at least enough to slowly lower his gun and let his tensed shoulders slump. The man stroked a calloused hand across his lower jaw, then across his entire face, inhaling deeply and then letting it all out in a gush of air. 

Adrian noticed- he had a strong nose, and his jaw was covered in a short layer of stubble. There were peeks of stark black hair showing from under his battered helmet, clumps plastered to his forehead with sweat. He looked completely disheveled and just moments before had had a loaded gun drawn on Adrian but he was a decently handsome man. Maybe even striking, if he weren’t covered in dirt, and- ...

Not the time.

The man got to his feet, still watching him warily. Adrian supposed the cautiousness was fair, considering the actions of his fellow men in uniform. Then, after a minute of hesitation, he spoke once again in that country drawl.

“Look, here’s the situation. You’re the first soldier who will actually talk to me instead of shooting wildly so I think… I think I’m gonna take you on your word.” Some more strands of dark hair fell into his face as he looked at Adrian, “This is gonna be my second time makin’ my way through this hellhole and, I’m gonna be real honest when I say I’d rather risk being backstabbed than have to do it alone again.”

The man turned his hazel gaze on Adrian, a question in those tired eyes. Adrian nodded.

“And backstabbing risks aside, I’d rather be with you. Those guys were always dickheads anyway.” Adrian said honestly.

Shephard saw a tug at a corner of the man’s lips as he let out a puff of air. He hesitated a moment, then, as if remembering some manners for this particular situation, stuck out a scuffed up hand in Adrian’s direction.

“Barney Calhoun.”

“Barney.” Adrian repeated.

He looked like a Barney. Adrian lightly swung his arm forward and clasped the man’s hand with his own, and on that note, the two shook. 

“Corp-... Shephard. Name’s Shephard.”

“Well Shephard, let’s get the heck out of here.”

Chapter Text

Barney had continued to eye the soldier warily as they walked, a tense silence following the two after their brief introduction. Their footsteps rang out in the quiet hallway as they made their way across the linoleum flooring, and Barney felt Shephard’s occasional glances begin to subside. 

He went over his priority list. Make sure this guy doesn’t pull a fast one on me- stay alive. Get out of Black Mesa. Save Gordon. 

Somewhere in his gut, Barney was pretty sure Shephard was telling the truth- that he wasn’t bad news. Barney was a naturally trusting person, but as much as he wanted to be able to easily rely on Shephard, he hadn’t made it this far for nothing, and he was far more interested in staying on the side of caution.

“You mentioned being through here before. You got any idea where the hell we’re going?” Shephard said, breaking the silence.

“I’ve been through Black Mesa, but not this route- and not looking like this.” Barney responded, “Though I have patrolled this area a time or two, I’ll see if I can… Recognize anything.”

The men turned a corner into yet another shorter hallway. The yellowish LEDs flickered on the ceiling, the stark white walls smudged with blood and dirt from a caved wreckage sticking out of the left side of the corridor like an ugly bruise.

Shephard immediately approached the hole, Barney following behind, revealing a huge metal elevator shaft. An abandoned elevator car hung stationary a distance above the opening where the two were stood, while, looking left, it seemed the other had already snapped off its cables, which dangled just feet away from Shephard and Barney. He felt his stomach drop and he stared into the deep abyss that seemed to tumble down for miles below.

“Huh.” Shephard made, then glanced around.

Barney watched as he walked away from the hole momentarily to jiggle the handle on the one door that sat across the corridor. When it turned out to be locked, he gave it three loud, rattling kicks. Still nothing. Shephard turned back to him with a shrug.

“You know how to climb a rope, Calhoun?”

Barney looked from his masked companion to the cables and back. He gaped at him.

“You’re kidding.”

“And I’m assuming you have a better idea?”

“Yeah, like backtracking and findin’ a different path that doesn’t result in, you know, death?” Barney felt flustered explaining this- he wasn’t cowardly, he just valued his life .

Shephard put his hands on his hips in seeming frustration, tilting his head to one side. Without really thinking about it, Barney imitated him. So maybe this guy wasn’t going to backstab him- he was just going to get him killed another way.

“You know as well as I do that that would be a pain in the ass. If I know HECU I know we- er, they might as well start dropping air strikes on us before we can carve out another way through this mess.” Shephard said flatly.

Barney didn’t seem convinced, so Shephard relaxed his posture.

“Listen, I’ve trained for this exact situation hundreds of times,” Shephard stated, then after a pause, backtracked, “Okay, maybe not this exact situation. But I can climb the hell out of a rope- I can even help you out? Insurance? You can go first and I’ll sit tight below, and if you fall I’ll catch you.”

There was that gut feeling again. Shephard wasn’t lying- he could trust him. Insane and stupid as this plan was, maybe insane and stupid was what they needed. Barney’s heart beat faster. He hadn’t climbed a rope proper since high school, and though he was decent at it back then, it had been a long time, and he’d imagine climbing a rope would be different from climbing a cable. But then Barney looked at Shephard again, all sturdy lines and lean shoulders, and that damn gut feeling squeezed Barney with that impulse. You’ll be fine.

“You’re crazy.” Barney said, before stepping up to the edge, wiping his sweaty palms on his trousers. 

“Ditto.” And though Barney couldn’t see his face, Shephard’s voice sounded almost wolfish in its smile.

Barney spotted the largest cable of the bunch, the easiest grip just a few feet away, and tried desperately not to look down. He took a deep and shaky breath, clenching and unclenching his fists, focusing on that rope, on the jump he would have to make. Barney swallowed hard, his heart leaping into his throat, then…

Anticlimactically, clumsily, he practically stumbled off the edge.

His blood ran cold. Barney let out a strangled cry, thrusting out both arms to frantically grab at the air in front of him and, after a horrifying second- they found the thick metal of the cable. Barney grasped the cord with all his might, gasping when he felt the friction burn his palms as he pulled himself to a stop, now dangling over complete open air. 

Locking his legs together over the cord firmly, he saw his vision blurred in a haze of fear and adrenaline, the world spinning around him as he struggled to get his breathing under control.

Don’t look down, don't look down, don't look down. Instead, his vision clearing, he looked over at Shephard, who whooped and gave him a thumbs up. Barney’s teeth chattered.

He’s crazy! And you are too, the apparently little common sense in Barney’s racing thoughts supplied.

With great effort, Barney swallowed down one of many consecutive lumps in his throat, and raised a shaking arm up to grab the cord above him, glancing over at the car to his right. All he had to do was get over to it, he thought as he began his climb, muscles burning as he pulled himself upward. Over the blood roaring in his ears, he heard Shephard's voice.

“Okay, I’m gonna come over now, just like I promised. That okay?” He spoke loudly, but in a careful tone.

Barney opened his mouth to respond, but instead just nodded, gripping the cord even tighter and bracing himself.

A moment later, his stomach lurched as he felt himself being swung wildly to the side, and the cord being pulled taut beneath him. He heard a grunt of effort from Shephard below him, and decided that his pride relied on him not making an ass of himself and slipping down the rope, giving Shephard a neck injury. Or killing him , his brain once again helpfully supplied.

Barney focused on placing one hand over the other, tugging and tugging until his muscles felt like they were on fire and he was sweating bullets. Then, finally, they were in range of the elevator car...- or not. 

As far as they’d climbed, the two were still at best 2 meters away. They were gonna die here for sure. Barney shut his eyes tight, biting his lips together in panic. He faintly heard Shephard make a noise below him, as if to get his attention.

“O-kay, we’ve… We’ve made it this far,” Shephard panted, “you ready... to swing and get over?”

“Huh..?” Barney barely managed to utter.

“We’re gonna have to work together on this… Lean left on three!”

No. No no no no. This was a whole new level of crazy and he wouldn’t… He couldn’t… Barney frantically looked down and willed back a wave of nausea as his gaze plummeted down 15 floors of pure free fall. He tore his eyes away from the terrible sight and saw the entrance they had come from, just feet away, but leaping from a rope, it felt like miles. Barney then looked up, into complete and utter darkness.

He was stranded. And his best chance of survival was… 

There was no turning back now. He gritted his teeth and tightened his hold on the cord once again, mustering up all the courage his aching body had left.

“One… two…” Shephard counted.

“Three!” Barney joined in, voice cracking as he lurched his weight forward, then backward. Back, and forth. He strained. Forward, then backward!

They gained velocity, cool wind rushing past Barney’s ears, and he heard Shephard let out whooping, exhilarant cries as they swung precariously over the abyss. Swept up in all of it, Barney couldn’t help but join in, letting out a breathless and wheezing chuckle; dizzy off the adrenaline.

They were practically soaring from side to side in the shaft, then with a lurch the two leapt from the cord, tumbling onto the top of the elevator, and then through and into the cabin as it splintered beneath them with a loud crack! Spots of their clothes tore and caught on the wood as they crushed it beneath them, and they crashed with a clumsy comportment that only men who have just looked death in the face can muster.

Barney toppled onto Shephard, and the two lay there trembling, all wind knocked cleanly from their lungs. After a pause, the two began to let out breathless, bruised, wheezing giggles again, because they were alive, and because their stupid plan had worked. 

They sat there awhile, muscles totally spent, just laying there in their shared, boyish grins and laughter. The musty, splintery dust surrounding them could never have tasted better.

Chapter Text

It was after the two had rested there a deal longer, that they had gotten past their adrenaline high and were suddenly very self-conscious of their position, and what had just occurred. Thus, a suffocating awkwardness had fallen over them both as they exited the elevator and continued on their trudge to the surface.

The two had been walking in another stiff and awkward silence for a while or so by now, it only being broken every once in a while by the occasional alien encounter, whereafter the two would be left out of breath and Barney would watch Shephard roughly shake yellow green sludge off the weighty pipe-wrench he carried around.

Barney didn’t know why he felt so determined to avoid getting acquainted with the guy. He knew it was proper manners to strike up a conversation when you’re travelling with someone, but if he was honest with himself, it was like even though he knew something of how formidable he was, Barney didn’t know how long Shephard would last. On his trip through Black Mesa, Barney had tried to accompany scientists and even fellow security guards and… They wouldn’t usually meet too pleasant a fate. 

Something at the back of his mind was probably just supposing Shephard would be the same, and would not let him begin to get attached.

They walked in silence a stretch longer, before Barney finally heard the man next to him clear his throat, muffled through the gas mask he wore strapped to his face.

“So Calhoun… Where you from?” Shephard tried. “Just asking cause the accent, and…”

Barney looked over and saw Shephard shake his head, as if he were kicking himself for asking a dumb question. Despite himself, Barney felt a smile play on his lips.

“Oh what, my southern draaawl?” Barney exaggerated, “It that obvious?”

“Yeah, pretty obvious,” Shephard responded, and Barney could hear laughter in his voice, “but hey, you know the girls go wild over it.”

“Nah, you’d be surprised. Spent two years up in Anaheim- thicker accent but wasn’t quite the catch I am now.” 

“Up near Disney right? What for?”

“College. Went to Martinson, somehow ended up here.” Barney gestured obviously. “You?”

“Didn’t go. Straight to the military, wanted some action, some adventure, you know? What the recruiters staked it up to be,” Shephard shrugged, “definitely getting action, alright.”

Barney wondered how young Shephard was- through the heavy gas mask strapped securely to his face and scuffed camo helmet he had on, Barney couldn’t tell much about him, except in the roughy tanned biceps that were exposed by his uniform.

They were toned and were littered with obviously recent scrapes and scratches, but also a small assortment of scars- not unusual for a trained soldier, he supposed. A nick there, a burn there. Barney couldn’t help but wonder about them, knowing it was none of his business.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Shephard spoke again.

“So you got a girl back home, Calhoun?” Shephard said, then after a pause, puffed, “Sorry, old fashioned opener question, I get tired of it in the CU, too.”

Barney paused for a minute, suddenly in possession of a minute to think about a quiet post-it-note, stuck patiently to his locker room door. 

-Buy flowers for Lauren. He was gonna tell her, later that day. The girl he had admired... Had she still waited for him? Was she safe..? What about...

When his thoughts started to melancholically drift to green eyes and glasses and dorky signed “hello”s on lanky fingers, Barney banished them away. Stupid. Barney was a mess- he couldn’t even fess up to the woman he liked until it was too late. He wasn’t allowed to think about him like that. 

“Don’t be.” Barney finally said, forcing a bit of a jovial tone into his voice.

It was unquestionable that Barney Calhoun was a hopeless romantic…. And that Barney should probably bring up Gordon with his new companion. They were going to save him- Shephard might even know how to track down his scum-sucking HECU fellows that kidnapped him in the first place. It was when Barney started to open his mouth to ask when Shephard caught him fully off guard with his next question.

“So… A guy back home then..? Boyfriend?” The soldier asked in a casual tone, failing to mask the bit of cautious awkwardness creeping in.

“What?” Barney reflexively exclaimed, immediately forgetting the topic he was going to broach next.

“Woah woah, no offense man, I’m not saying you look homosexual or-” Shephard followed up quickly, evidently expecting a similar response from the strange look on his face. But Barney kept talking, not meaning to sound like a total dickhead, and they both ended up talking over each other in an embarrassed mess.

“N-No, I mean, I don’t really have a problem with, uh, but-” Barney started.

“-I mean I was just trying to make sure,” 

“-But I’m not, I mean, I don’t, yeah…”

“-Make sure, yeah.”

“Yeah…”

“Yep…”

“…”

There was a long pause. 

Then, slowly, starting with a small chuckle from Shephard the two dissolved into red-faced laughter, having to pause in their walking to let out desperate giggles at the ridiculousness.

“Okay… Listen it’s-” Shephard snorted, “We have alien zombies trying to eat us with their fucking ribcages. We have weird ass creatures spitting green acid at us. I could not give one shit if a dude likes dudes. I do not care.”

“Yeah man, it’s not like it’s the end of the world-” Barney’s lip twitched with more held back giggles, “ This is the end of the world.”

The two boys broke back out into wheezing laughter. Shephard braced a gloved hand on Barney’s shoulder, and it was clammy and warm through the fabric of his shirt. Through the mirth that was warming his whole body, the sensation of it made his heart leap a little in his chest.

Barney was still grinning, but inwardly he too felt a quiet happiness at Shephard’s easy and accepting attitude. Of course he didn’t know that Barney was.. He shook his head, banishing any deeper than surface level thought for that moment as he laughed.

“Okay, okay,” Barney caught his breath, and slowly, the two kept walking, still grinning like idiots. He put a light hand on Shephard’s chest, “back to the original question. Well,” he drew his hand away to gesture to himself, “Texas, born and raised. Probably guessed it already.”

“Yeah, guessed it. Barney Calhoun is about the most Texan name I can think of. Bar-ney Cal-houn.” Shephard drew out the “oo” on Calhoun, a smile in his voice.

“Uh-huh.” Barney couldn’t wipe the similar grin off his face, “And what kinda name is Shephard, then?”

Shephard paused a split-second, then shrugged.

“I guess it’s a nowhere name.” He said casually, scratching his chin under his mask, “I dunno what state I was born in, and we never really stayed in one place growing up.”

Shephard turned to him and raised up a number of fingers.

“Seven highschools. I don’t even know which reunion to crash.”

Barney was a little taken aback. Seven.

“Damn.” He replied dumbly, unsure of how to react.

“Damn is right- hated every damn one of them.” Shephard chuckled, “I made my fun though.”

Shephard was an interesting person. It had only been a few hours walking with him, but Barney hadn’t realized how lonely he had been over this past nightmarish day. It was good to just laugh. Kept him human.

Barney thought about that as they kept walking and talking about nothing in particular. And as they continued to mow down aliens, boots clacking and squeaking on the cold linoleum floors, Barney felt more at ease, knowing there was somehow someone he could...

Yes, someone he could trust next to him.

Chapter Text

So deep underground, time just seemed to smudge together in a giant, messy, chaotic haze. Neither Adrian nor Barney was sure how much time had passed, just walking in a comfortable silence they had settled into after a different indistinguishable amount of time.

More than an hour, less than a day.

Adrian was quiet when he allowed himself a glance at Barney, and quickly found himself staring. After a pause, the man apparently felt Adrian’s eyes on him, even through the goggles, and he made eye contact with him with those fixed teal-brown irises.

Shephard immediately darted his gaze away, hearing Barney let out a barely audible snicker, then an amused silence.

Barney was cute. Yeah, Adrian could admit it.

Now that the two had gotten over their initial reservations, Calhoun’s charm was distractingly present, in his crooked smile and kind eyes and occasional biting sarcasm. Of course, Adrian wouldn’t bring it up to his face , and it wasn’t like Adrian had a crush- the two had just met after all, just a short and indistinguishable amount of time ago.

Adrian paused a moment or two before flicking his eyes back over at Barney, opening his mouth to start another conversation, and was suddenly met with two hazel eyes staring directly back at him. Adrian almost flinched, before seeing Barney’s smile twitch into a quiet chuckle.

“Is there something on my face? Did a zombie draw a dick on me while I was asleep?” 

Adrian was almost embarrassed, before breaking into mirthy laughter. Though Barney couldn’t see it, Shephard grinned behind the mask, shaking his head.

“Nah nah, just enjoying the view.”

“You dog.”

The exchange was in joking tones, but if Adrian had looked closer, he would’ve seen Barney starting to quietly fluster, turning his face away. Adrian was getting a little flustered himself, and they both wore soft smiles as they continued on.

Soon, though, as their footsteps echoed down the hall, Barney’s smile began to fade, giving way to a more serious expression as he appeared to be lost in thought. Mixed with some subtle urgency and some other emotions that were difficult to read. 

One emotion was clear though, and was somewhat alarming to Shephard- guilt.

Barney turned toward Adrian, looking at him with that same sudden grim expression, but seemed to quickly decide against it, flicking his gaze forward instead.

“Look, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to bring up since we met, but there’s never been a good…” Barney shook his head, “I somehow forgot to mention it.”

Adrian had no clue.

“Uh, go on?” 

“So I’ve escaped from this facility once, then I was yanked back in by some weird, alien force, where I met you.” Barney started, then started to stumble over his words a little bit, “But when I was being teleported around- … Listen, I have a friend who’s also trapped here. A scientist.”

“And you want to go rescue him?” 

“I saw him, Shephard.” Barney continued as he made eye contact with Adrian once again, voice a bit strained as some anger started to mix in the storm brewing in his eyes, “He was alive, but he was knocked over the damn head. Unconscious, being dragged around by your HECU buddies like some piece of meat and-” 

Barney paused for a moment, regret flashing in his eyes. 

Adrian tried not to let the comment get at him. His HECU buddies. He guessed it made sense if the guard blamed Adrian, after all his… buddies had done. He decided to chew on his lip. 

“Shit, that was unfair. I’m sorry-” Barney started, before Adrian waved a stiff, dismissive hand.

“Calhoun, it’s fine. Just tell me what’s up.”

Barney opened his mouth to reply, then pressed his lips together, staring at Adrian a moment. Then he nodded.

“Gordon. He… I want to find him, if we can. I just want to know he’s safe.” Barney looked away, his eyes distant, “I need to.”

Looking at Barney, seeing his wistful expression and the way his eyes softened, crinkled in a way he hadn't seen before, Adrian got the dawning sense that he knew what was happening here.

“You care about this guy a lot, huh?” Shephard asked, continuing to gaze right at Barney.

“I…” Barney wavered a bit, “He’s a swell guy. A good friend. I don’t wanna lose him.” 

So the hunch was right. He swallowed the small, strange lump that had been forming in his throat, then opened his mouth, willing a neutral tone of voice. He hadn’t gone through years of being screamed at in boot camp to lose his cool at such a stupid, stupid thing like jealousy. Over a guy you just met, too, his thoughts helpfully supplied.

He wondered if he looked like his name, too. Gordon.

“Gordon.” Adrian repeated aloud, then nodded, “We’ll find him, keep two eyes out. Then maybe we can all go out for drinks, once this is over.” 

Adrian heard Barney quietly chuckle, not quite as strained as he would expect.

“Sounds good. I do still owe him a beer…” Barney said, then, after a pause, turned to look at Adrian, a strange look in his eyes, “Thank you, by the way. I guess I owe you now, too.”

Adrian gave him a small, crooked smile behind the mask. “Drinks on you then.”

Barney nodded and turned away, looking down with a tiny smile that radiated a gentle warmth. It made Adrian’s heart hurt a little.

Suddenly, Barney stopped in place, smile fading once again and giving way to surprise. His eyes were fixed on a tile that was slightly out of place, just below his feet, and his head quickly snapped up, scanning their surroundings.

“Hey, I think I recognize this area, I…” He said, taking a slight lead ahead of Adrian, “Yeah, I was stationed here just recently. I know the way to the surface, we’ll be able to make it there soon if we just follow this hallway, c’mon!”

Barney nearly took off, and Adrian followed, heavy boots clunking on the dirty floors. 

The two men weren’t cautious as they rapidly turned the corner. They had only run a few meters down the hall before a blinding shock of green energy violently struck the concrete wall just adjacent to them, mind-numbingly loud booming crashing in their ears as both whipped their heads around to face the source.

It was four of the green, skinny, bipedal aliens, their singular red eyes glowing intensely on their heads as they all fixed their gazes on the two men. Three of four were immediately gearing up for another attack, that blinding green held trapped under their long claws. They growled and gurgled in loud, throaty, and so alien sounds, mouths opening to expose an array of sharp teeth.

As Adrian’s mind started to race, he took sudden sharp notice of what looked like a man in a suit far, far back down the hallway. He looked directly at Adrian, casually adjusted his tie and, briefcase in hand, he walked away, and was gone. Adrian’s heart raced, momentarily unable to place the familiarity he felt at the sight of that man.

What the hell?-

His attention was yanked away before he could collect his thoughts as in his peripheral, Adrian saw a surprised Barney draw a shotgun from its ragged holster on his back. He barely had time to pump it before the second alien violently thrust the deadly bolt toward him with another ear shattering boom!  

Adrian immediately opened his mouth to say something, anything, but it was too late. Barney was quick to leap out of the way, but by the way he flinched awkwardly and fell to his knees as he scrambled away, Adrian could tell with a cold fear that the bolt had been quicker.

In an intense, half-instinct half-rehearsed motion from the HECU, Adrian lunged and rolled toward his companion, grabbing him under the arm and starting to pull him up as quickly as he could, planning to flee back around the corner from where they came. But he felt his attention suddenly drawn to a dark and open entrance on the right side of the hallway that he swore hadn’t been there before. He could vaguely make out what looked to be some kind of sewer-way on the inside.

If they ran, they could make it.

“The door!” Adrian shouted above the noise of the energy beams’ recharging.

“Okay!” He heard Barney’s strained voice beside him.

Then, the two ran for their lives, dashing towards the gaping dark with their hearts pounding wildly out of their chests. Adrian practically threw Barney in, in front of him, before quickly following suit, and both were swallowed by the inky black.

Chapter Text

Feeling solid ground under their feet as they stumbled forward, Adrian and Barney found themselves on a concrete platform, ten feet or so up from the ground. In the dim light from the doorway, they practically tumbled down a short and steep flight of steel stairs. Adrian heard Barney let out a string of swears as his unfocused footsteps splashed into water in front of him.

The loud and violent charges behind them raged ever closer, and so, facing the darkness, Adrian felt himself instinctively reach up and set his goggles to night-vision mode. Suddenly, the gaping black was lit up in vivid and flickering green hues, and he was facing a low-ceilinged, plant-growth covered sewer tunnel. 

“Come on.” Adrian told Barney, breathless as he gripped his companion’s elbow and pulled him along, sloshing almost knee deep into the murky water as he rushed forward.

Barney let himself be pulled along by Adrian, but shook his head.

“And how y-you know where you’re going any more than me?” Barney asked, voice still strained.

“Night-vision goggles. Stay close. I’ll get you safely through here just...”

“-Trust you?” Barney’s breath was shaky as they splashed along, the still violent roar of energy charges growing more distant as they fled the light, “... I do.”

Adrian’s cold intensity faded for a moment at that, heart continuing to pound in his ears. Before he had noticed there was already a quiet warmth swelling in his chest at those words, before Adrian shook his head, and it was quickly drowned out by worry. 

His grip softened on Barney’s elbow, and as he slowed his pace slightly Barney drew closer to him in the gaping darkness. Adrian took a deep breath of musty air, then glanced over his companion as best he could through his goggles, still walking.

“Calhoun, did you get hit?”

“I uh- yeah I think so. On my left side but- I don’t think it’s too serious.” Adrian heard Barney’s voice, still numbed with surprise but also with hints of pain. "I could use one of those... first aid stations right about now... Weird little things."

“Just… Hold on to me. And-” An idea popped into his head, and Adrian paused a moment to unhook his pipe wrench from its holster on his belt. 

He guided Barney’s hand up with his, then gently pushed the cold metal into Barney’s palm. 

“Take this, it’s the pipe wrench I picked up- packs quite the punch, too.” Adrian said with a low seriousness in his voice, “I don’t think firing a gun blindly into the dark would be a great idea.”

The guard’s calloused fingers closed firmly around the handle, brushing Adrian’s as he took it and let it fall to the side of his body, where it rested, gripped firmly in his hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe.” Barney breathed, voice airy but laced with a smile.

“I’m counting on that.” Adrian responded, and almost felt a smile tugging at his own mouth, despite the severity he felt.

They trudged on through the dark, splashing through the cold water as it started to permeate their boots, cold water seeping through the seams and making Adrian’s drying socks squish uncomfortably underfoot once again. 

All the while he kept a gentle but firm grasp on Barney’s bicep, keeping him away from the occasional stumble or block in the path that he was able to make out in flickering shades of neon green.

“Okay, we’re gonna turn left right up here.”

“… Uh, left or right?” Came a weary reply from beside him.

“Left, up here. C’mon.” Adrian let out a puff of air, guiding his companion further into the inky blackness ahead of them.

They waded a few more steps, until Adrian felt Barney freeze in place. Adrian’s mouth was dry as he stopped to look his companion over- was he going to faint?

“Hey, what’s-” Adrian started, before Barney shushed him, glancing around wildly with unseeing eyes.

“... Do you hear that?” Barney whispered.

Adrian strained his ears to try and notice what Barney was talking about. There was nothing but the two men’s ragged breathing, and the drip, drip, drip of water somewhere off in the distance. Until… He heard it. 

Far off, Adrian could faintly hear the violent splashing of water, echoing down the tunnel that extended endlessly in front of them- and it was growing closer. Quickly.

There was something charging down the tunnel, and they were directly in its way.

“Change of plans, we’re going right!” Adrian urgently whispered, tugging Barney along with him as he hauled ass in the opposite direction of where they had been facing.

His companion let out an indignant yelp as he was suddenly yanked to the side, but caught on immediately as he broke into a sprint down the dark tunnel alongside Adrian, running blindly. From down the hall, over the sounds of splashing there was a loud, rumbling growl. If he didn’t know any better, Shephard might think it was a giant bear. But unfortunately, he did know better.

“What the hell was that?!” Barney yelled in confusion.

Adrian didn’t dare look back as he gulped down damp sewer air through his mask, dragging Barney down another turn as they ran as fast as their legs could take them. The crashing behind them got closer, and closer, and closer. There was another deep, guttural growl, booming in its nearness.

“Shephard..?” Barney started, panic rising in his tone.

The crashes got closer, even closer. It had more than two legs- and it was huge.

“Shephard!”

Finally, Adrian skidded to a stop and wheeled around, slipping his grip on Barney’s arm down as his companion came to a stumbling halt next to him, and he grabbed his hand instead, catching Barney as he nearly toppled forward. Adrian finally looked up at what was behind him, and saw bright flashes of electricity bounce off the stone walls that surrounded them, illuminating what looked like the largest alien he’d seen yet.

“Holy shit !” Barney swore, finally able to see the creature as it was briefly visible in the flashes of light.

It was nearly the size of a car, towering on four giant legs that stuck grotesquely out of its meaty form as it scuttled down the hall. When it growled, its fleshy tentacle mouth wriggled, the sound reverberating in Adrian’s chest as it exposed a row of sharp teeth. It was then that he heard more growls, in the near distance. 

The two had stumbled right into their nest.

He scrambled to find something that he could use to get them out of the water, but as he watched another beam whip out from around it and strike the surface, it was evident the electricity wasn’t obeying the laws of their world, and the water didn’t seem to conduct it. 

Closing his eyes, Adrian inhaled sharply, feeling a cool, familiar calm pass over him. The two could no longer run, and they couldn’t hide. It was time to fight like hell.

With as much hustle as he could muster, Adrian pulled Barney’s hand forward to firmly place it on the back of his belt, keeping him securely behind him- there was no time to be shy.

“Wha-“ Barney started, before being quickly cut off.

“Grab it, hold on!” Shephard ordered, before practically throwing his arms back and snatching his SMG from off his back, “And try to get your ears covered!”

As he felt Barney’s fingers hook firmly between his back and the rough nylon of the utility belt, Adrian faced down the alien, which was growing rapidly closer by the second.

He lifted his weapon and squeezed the secondary trigger, launching a grenade directly at the creature- it landed right in front of it with a light splash. Adrian immediately jumped back, dragging his companion along as he narrowly dodged a bright electric blast that crashed into the stone next to him, shattering it.

There was a dizzyingly loud ring in his ears as he swung the gun back up to aim directly at his attacker. Adrian quickly held down the primary trigger, firing rapidly into the meaty mass in front of him.

The gun rattled and shook with a deafening ferocity, as the creature let out throaty, gurgling growls, before the grenade blew in a bright flash and burst of smoke, sending water spraying all around it. It hit with a stinging velocity, and Adrian put himself in front of Barney as best he could, who he could feel flinch behind him.

Through the smoke, Adrian watched as the alien stumbled, then collapsed into the water with a huge splash! Adrian felt a rush of relief at having been able to kill it, and was about ready to start preparing for the next one to come when he heard a faint groaning noise.

He took a moment to look closely at the dead creature, lit up in blurry greens, and saw it… move… throb. It started to pulse, and Adrian had a sudden gut feeling that they needed to get away right now.

“Get back!” He yelled, before nearly tripping over himself as he lunged backward, feeling Barney grab onto his shoulder now as he scrambled to follow suit.

The corpse swelled, then burst in a hot explosion of flesh and electricity and sickly yellow-green blood. Through the mask, Adrian couldn’t smell much, but he heard Barney gag next to him, clutching onto his shoulder for dear life. 

“You… Okay..?” Adrian panted, turning back to him.

“T-That… is rank .” Barney rasped, shaking his head.

Adrian heard the splashing and growling of more of those things echoing down the tunnel, and knew they had to run for it, fast.

“C’mon.”

His companion nodded, exhaustion weighing heavily on his face. But they couldn’t stop now. Adrian took Barney’s hand in his as they broke into another sprint, Adrian pulling Barney down twisting tunnels and stone sideways as they booked it as fast as their legs could carry them.

Adrian’s muscles screamed in pain and he felt cold sweat drip down his face, but he kept running, hand locked firmly in Barney’s. 

“Shephard, I… see something!” He heard his companion cry from behind him, “Light! Up… Up ah…“

Barney didn’t bother to finish his sentence, and Adrian saw what he was talking about. Just a ways further ahead there was white light pouring in from a hole in the ceiling, illuminating what looked like a rusty, red ladder. 

That was their ticket out of here.

“We can make it!” Adrian shouted back, continuing to sprint ahead- when he felt Barney’s grip tighten in his hand and drag down as the guard collapsed into the murky water.

“Shep, I ca-… I can’t…” Barney wheezed hopelessly, keeled over in exhaustion and pain.

“What the hell are you talking about… Come on..!”

Barney’s grip loosened in Adrian’s, very weakly attempting to pull away.

“No I-I ca… Just go on with... Without…” He heaved, hanging his head unsteadily.

There was no way in hell he was- why would he even think Adrian would- A choking sensation closed around his throat as a surge of fear and, curiously, anger boiled up all at once.

“Fuck you! Don’t you dare!” Adrian tried to pull Barney to his feet by his hand, but the man seemed to be quickly fading out of consciousness, and lolled back to the floor.

Adrian’s head snapped up to see their pursuers, who were just starting to turn the corner, as they growled and snapped and roared, beams of crackling energy flaring all around them and licking dangerously at the stone walls.

“You have someone to save, remember?!” Adrian yelled, desperation making his voice crack, but Barney didn’t seem to hear him.

He had to do something. Remembering his training, Adrian let Barney slump backwards a bit, then attempted to tug him by both wrists to get the limp man onto his shoulders. But for whatever reason, Barney was heavy , even for a 5’11 grown man, and Adrian’s muscles gave out as the man just slumped back down to the ground again.

Sweating, Adrian looked down the tunnel again- the monsters raced closer still. 

Something had to be making him harder to carry, and Adrian needed to know what it was. He racked his racing brain, adrenaline pumping through his veins before- Of course. Knowing what to do, he fell to his knees with a splash, unbuckling Barney’s tactical vest and practically throwing it off him.

Like he’d practiced in so many drills over the years, he pulled his limp companion up by both wrists, letting him fall forward onto Adrian’s right shoulder as he hooked his right arm under Barney’s knees and scooped the man out of the water, draping him over his shoulders.

Momentarily taking a hand off supporting Barney, Adrian’s face dripped with freezing sweat under his gas mask as he reached up to snatch it off and stuff it haphazardly in a pocket, gasping in the dank sewer air. He stared into the now full darkness in front of him, knowing his attackers were so, so close.

With shaking hands he swiftly unhooked a hand grenade, then brought it up to his mouth, taking the safety pin in his teeth as he ripped it out in one quick motion. 

With all the strength he could spare Adrian chucked it down the tunnel at the dimly visible enemy, then repeated the action twice more with speed that could only be built in by hours of training.

Then, he turned tail and ran, Barney slung over his shoulders, muscles on fire as he pushed his body to reach the ladder in time. Hearing the spray of explosions behind him, he hooked his left hand securely on the metal ladder and pulled himself up one-handed, using the other to hold Barney in place.

Just one more push, he blearily told himself, mind throbbing with pure adrenaline. His vision went white as he propelled himself up the final rung on the ladder, shoved Barney’s limp form off his aching shoulders onto the tile above, then rolled onto the upper floor himself, feeling a graze at his feet as he launched off the ladder.

On his knees, he whirled around and grabbed the hatch to the hole, slamming the lid closed right as purple lightning licked at it with frightening force. Then he immediately turned and snapped the safety lock closed, hearing the booms and growls of the aliens below. 

For a few heart pounding moments, they continued to rage below, thrashing and raucous and violent, before gradually, they got quieter, then quieter. Adrian slumped forward, pressing his ear down to the hatch to listen as the noise faded out and he could hear the sloshing scuttles as, slowly, they left.

Adrian pushed himself back onto his knees, then slid backwards, exhaustion sinking fast into his tingling muscles as he let out all the breath in his lungs with a shuddering sigh, the adrenaline starting to fade.

They were gone- he was safe. He let himself sit in that utter stillness for a few moments, taking time to pull himself together, to just breathe.

He shivered in the dead silence.

Chapter Text

Cooling down left Adrian shivering, covered in a layer of freezing, stinking moisture that was one part sweat and two parts sewer water. 

Ignoring the way his ratty uniform clung irritatingly to his bruised skin, Adrian flicked his eyes around the room, vision spotty as he recovered- it looked like some kind of supply closet, almost. The room was bathed in cold flickering light, like most of this god damn facility was- but he couldn’t complain, it was leagues better than the dark. 

The walls were a light, bland, clinical shade of green, untouched by the blood and dirt that seemed to cover most walls in Black Mesa. There were shelves lining each wall of the room, filled with…Something. Adrian couldn’t be bothered to tell at the moment as a headache pounded in his ears. A large radio was set up on a nearby crate, of which there were a plethora laying around. 

Besides the hatch, there was only one door- painted metal, with a small, thick glass window. Next to it was a wall-mounted first aid station, which there seemed to be a plethora of around the facility- Barney had called them “weird little things”. Adrian hissed as he pulled himself up and dragged over to the door, reaching out an arm and turning the small metal latch that locked the door from the inside with a soft click! 

Bracing himself on the wall, he moved over to the first aid station, and when Adrian looked at it, he immediately decided that Barney’s assessment of them was right. The station, upon closer inspection, was unlike any first aid he’d ever seen. Inside there were two clear test tube sized pumps, filled with a bright green liquid that, like many other things that day, was completely foreign to Adrian. 

Connected by a black rubber tube, there was a needle hooked up to the right in the boxed in station- which Adrian assumed was the first aid..? Besides the needle, Adrian found a small compartment that held a roll of gauze, some sanitizing wipes and… Was that it? Really?

Shephard paused- he really didn’t trust the idea of injecting that stuff, but… He looked at Barney, who was pale and shivering, splayed on the cold ground a few feet away.

He wasn’t going to let him die.

Shephard stumbled back over to the hatch, and to Barney, who was slumped over on the floor, still unconscious. Adrian was nearly drifting in and out of consciousness himself, but he shook his head, wanting to do a look over of Barney. He knelt at the man’s side, turning him over onto his back, to which Barney let out a soft groan.

Adrian didn’t pause as he reached over and moved the guard’s arm away from his side, where there was a spot of prominent deep red staining the soaked blue cloth. Inspection revealed a shallow, but large and scorched gash in Barney’s side. It was an angry shade of red, and the skin had curled and bubbled unnaturally. Barney had been running with this?

The fact that the beam could so easily penetrate his tactical vest was disturbing at least to Adrian, and the fact that so much sewage water had seeped into the gash was even more so. The wound needed attention as soon as possible, and thus, Adrian once again glanced back to the first aid station.

He wasn’t going to let him die.

After another moment’s hesitation, he made his decision, and turned and hooked his arms gently under Barney’s. With a sigh of effort he began tugging him weakly along the floor to lay him limply against the opposite wall.

Exhausted and winded, Adrian pulled away and brought himself to a kneeling position, looking up blearily as he reached out and took the needle off the wall with a click! Shephard had come to the decision that if he was going to inject it into his unconscious companion, even if said companion had already apparently used it, he would test it on himself first, just in case-… Just in case.

So he extended the tube down, and, sucking in a breath, Adrian plunged the needle into his upper bicep. As the metal slid into his skin he bit down on his lower lip, suppressing a flinch. 

He heard the machine whir to life behind him as the pistons in the tubes began to pump up and down, a clinical beep beep beep accompanying the whir as Adrian felt the green liquid push through the needle into his bloodstream.

After just a few seconds, he grabbed the cable and quickly pulled the needle out, feeling a strange tingle in his bicep as the machine stopped automatically.

Adrian paused, then flexed his bicep a few times, making a tight fist and letting go. He suddenly noticed a cut that he had gained on his hand was no longer there. He sat and watched in alarm and amazement as more of the cuts and bruises that had gathered on his bare arms started to… close. All on their own.

He nearly stumbled backward, suddenly looking at an arm that was covered in half-healed injuries. How the hell…? And Black Mesa had this…?

Adrian let out a shuddering breath, then remembered Barney next to him- he could think about these things later. If it had some god awful side effects, Barney wouldn’t have used them, right?

Adrian needed to save him. He’d think about the fucking moral implications and or let Barney chew him out later if he needed to. Adrian reached over, slightly less sore as he gingerly rolled up Barney’s sleeve, plucking the needle off the ground. He took a sterilizing wipe from the station, then, as thoroughly as he could, he wiped the tip, before dragging a hand over the stressed lines in his face.

This was a mess. 

He sucked in another breath to his tired lungs, then stuck the cold metal into Barney’s skin, moving with as much grace as he could muster- which, as a highschool drop-out turned soldier, was not much. Still, it was sufficient as the beeps and whirs of the machine roared back to life, and the strange medicine flowed into Barney with only a twitch from the man in question.

Adrian could only muster a debilitated fascination this time as he saw the wound on Barney’s side start to shallow and start to seal itself, new skin taking the place of where the gash laid on Barney’s side. It closed itself smaller and smaller until…

Bapbap!

The machine abruptly stopped with a low and dissonant sound, and Adrian wearily looked up to see that all the green fluid had been drained out of the tubes. He gingerly removed the needle, tossed it aside, then dragged himself over to inspect the wound again. It was nearly closed, only some darker colored scarring in its place. 

He couldn’t believe it- Adrian found himself wondering where it could possibly have come from, before his brain got too tired to form truly coherent thoughts anymore... He didn’t want to know where that path of thought would lead him, anyway. 

Before he passed out, Adrian managed to swipe the gauze from the station and apply it to his companion’s significantly smaller injury. The soldier then pushed himself backwards, slumping heavily against the wall next to Barney’s unconscious form, letting his head loll back against the wall with a light thunk!

With one last, quick glance at Barney, Shephard closed his eyes, almost instantly slipping into an uncomfortable but undiscriminating sleep. The young man remained blissfully unaware of the glowing and otherworldly blue irises that gazed directly at him through the small window on the door. 

A quiet patience and a mysterious, almost-sinister almost-fondness swirling within that stare. An anticipation.

It straightened its tie, grabbed its briefcase, and walked away. There were no footsteps on the cold linoleum as it left.

Barney Calhoun didn’t wake up where he remembered passing out. He wasn’t even sure if he remembered expecting to wake up. The guard slowly opened his eyes, and his vision wasn’t obscured by darkness or bathed in the angry flames of his afterlife. He was just in a small room, squinting against the partially-lit square lights that hung on the ceiling- it was like he’d fallen asleep at work.

But as Barney’s awareness began to settle in, it was more and more obvious that these past few days hadn’t all been some damned dream. He remembered getting struck in the side, and glanced down to his left, wondering why he didn’t feel like death itself after a blow like that. When he looked, there was only a drained first aid needle laying off to the side, plus messy, but clean bandages wrapped around his waist. As well as around his shirt.

Whoever had done this was evidently either inept or shy enough to not bother undressing him from his soiled and still drying uniform before applying the bandages, although they were tight, as they should be. Whoever… Shephard.

Barney craned his neck to look around, and found the soldier laying limply against the wall just a few feet away, letting out quiet snores, his head turned away from him as it reclined against the cold concrete. Had Shephard carried him all the way here? Barney thought, staring at the back of the man’s helmet with a silent shock.

He vaguely recalled the paralyzing fear and sheer exhaustion as he collapsed into bitterly cold water, no longer able to run for his life. He heard muffled shouting from his companion as he slipped from consciousness- why was he so angry? He had wondered. Barney felt a bit sick.

The guard watched for another few moments, unsure of what to do. He didn’t want to wake him, but he wanted to let him know he was okay- it was probably unwise to just sit here too. But… He hadn’t seen Shephard stop to rest once since they’d met, and just seeing him sit there, so quiet and so unbothered was… Barney didn’t want to disturb that.

It was then that a small glint on the floor just next to Shephard's sleeping form caught his eye. It was a gas mask, scuffed and stained on the edges, lying unused on the floor. Shephard didn’t have it on.

For some reason, Barney was suddenly embarrassed as he realized this, nervous about seeing the face he’d idly speculated about for the last however many hours. But curiosity was pecking insistently at Barney’s brain, as he sat up from his position against the wall- which came with a surprisingly small amount of soreness.

Barney was aching to know what the man looked like- they’d been through so much together in such a short time but Barney didn’t even know what the man looked like. Or even his first name. It felt kind of unfair.

As his heart started to beat faster, Barney squeezed his eyes shut, smothering his curiosity as much as he could. It was none of his business. Even though he had taken the mask off in the first place… It could’ve fallen off, or something. If Shephard wanted Barney to know anything, he would tell him on his own terms. Barney owed him that much.

Which is why he decided to scoot forward and gingerly grab the mask off the floor. He stared at it for a moment, taking in the lines and scratches that dotted it, flipping it over to see, written in tiny, messy lettered sharpie ink,

‘CORPORAL 

A. SHEPHARD !’

The first thought that popped into his head was a third grader signing his undies so they didn’t get lost. Barney couldn’t help letting a smile slip onto his face as he traced the name with his finger idly. A. Shephard, huh? 

Barney was allowed to wonder. A… There were so many A names. Andrew, Adam… Albert? Definitely not.

Distracted by his thoughts, Barney hadn’t noticed that the room had gone silent except for the unobtrusive and monotonous buzz of the overhead lights. Shephard’s quiet snoring had stopped minutes ago at this point, and the man had been quietly peeking over a shoulder at him for some time now.

“I would offer you it, but it’s government property.”

Barney’s train of thought was completely derailed as he was startled out of his stupor by Shephard, who spoke in an amused and slightly raw tone. He looked up, before immediately forcing his gaze back to the floor, holding the mask out to him as his face grew pink.

“Dear lord , Shephard, you’re awake. Here’s- the mask fell off, I didn’t take it off it was just. On the floor.”

Barney heard Shephard start to laugh as he sat up, a mirthy laugh that was clear as a bell and unmuffled by any military-issued gas filters. And had so much warmth in it that it made Barney’s ears tingle. 

“Barney, I’m not naked .” His companion’s voice was still brimming with that fond laughter, “You can look at my face.”

Barney was being an idiot, he was overthinking it. Not knowing why he was so nervous, he squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again as he lifted his head to look at Shephard.

The guy was… Well he was striking. Shephard’s sharp jawline was long and narrow and littered with the faintest hint of stubble, with a small and slightly flat nose that dipped downward gently at the end. 

His skin was golden-tanned and smooth and smattered with freckles dotted roughly across his nose. Notably, though, there was a torn up, patchy scar that rested on the left side of his jaw, just missing the corner of his mouth.

He looked younger than Barney had expected. Not by much, but young, for a man who was so damn skilled. 

Then, as Barney’s gaze travelled up, they actually locked eyes for the first time. Shephard’s were intelligent, large and angular, with a quality that was sharp but warm and brown and rich. His dark hair was buzzed short, and he wore a crooked and lazy smile as he crossed his arms against the wall.

Barney felt a lump in his throat, but didn’t bother to swallow it as he took in his features. He didn’t even know what to say, his mouth was dry, so he just opened it.

“Damn.” Was what came out.

There was a brief moment of complete silence. Then, right as Barney slapped a hand over his mouth in mortification, he was able to watch Shephard’s eyes light up with surprise and amusement, then burst into a grin before he started to keel over laughing. Barney’s blush darkened rapidly as he pulled his helmet over his eyes with a loud groan, mixing in the air with his companion’s wheezes. 

“I didn’t say that.”

He heard Shephard continue to laugh next to him, but it was a quiet and gentle laugh now. Barney peeked out from under his helmet, and saw the soldier looking at him with those warm, dark brown eyes that were reached by a genuine, affectionate smile. His smile.

Barney swallowed.

“Uh huh, I wouldn’t be so lucky.” Shephard chuckled and flicked his eyes away, running a hand over his short hair before letting his arm drop lazily into his lap, before looking back up at him, “I’m glad you’re up and okay. A little woozy judging by your comments but... I said I wasn’t gonna let you die and look, I keep my word.”

“And, who’d you promise that to?” The corners of his mouth quirked, he couldn’t help it.

“You want me to be honest?” Shephard asked, and when Barney nodded half-seriously, he responded with full sincerity, “It was a promise to myself. Don’t let him die, Shephard .”

He shrugged, then looked away, seemingly a little bashful himself. Barney felt an odd swirl of emotion, a tight feeling in his chest and fluttering in his stomach. He stayed speechless, a dumb smile on his face as he just… Looked at him. It was then that Barney knew— realized.

This was trouble.

After a thoughtful pause, Shephard abruptly turned back around and grabbed back the gas mask, tearing Barney away from his thoughts.

“And give that, it’s mine.” He said with that same genuine crooked smile on his face.

Shephard started to get to his feet, grabbing his gun and grunting a bit with effort, obviously sore. He stopped at a kneel to look at Barney when he started to talk.

“Thought you said it was government property, huh…” Barney teased, starting to stand as well, then tentatively took a guess, “… Alex...?”

“What?” Shephard said, confused, then after a pause he snorted, “Oh, so you saw my name on the mask? Nice try?.”

“I most certainly did …. Alfred.” 

“ Alfred? What the fuck?” Shephard grinned, dissolving into quiet wheezes.

He liked making Shephard laugh.

Barney felt a warmth bubble up in his chest too, and stuck out a hand in a silent offer, to which Shephard’s eyes flicked from him to his hand. Then, put his in Barney’s and allowed himself to be pulled fully to his feet in front of Barney, both grins starting to fade.

They stood a little closer than they needed, and let their grip linger a little longer than they had to. Barney felt the barest traces of Shephard’s warm breath tickle against his face, his heart beat faster.

“Uh, well… Shep, I just wanted to-” Barney breathed, eyes locked fully on the man in front of him, and on those dark, solid brown eyes, “I wanted to thank you. For saving my life, I mean. You could’ve left me behind there, hell, I was telling you to. Just… Thanks for not listening to me.”

Barney said all this while looking at Shephard, who closed his eyes and shook his head, a smile returning to his face.

“‘Thank you’ accepted. But you don’t need to— I couldn’t have left you behind.” Shephard said, then glanced down and gave his hand a squeeze, “We’re friends.”

Barney felt a corner of his mouth tug up into a crooked smile as he breathed out a laugh.

“Yeah, we are.”

The two paused for a moment, before Barney, starting to realize himself, forced himself to casually draw his hand away from Shephard’s.

“By the way, is this your handiwork?” He commented sarcastically, finally calling attention to the clumsily done bandages around his waist and shirt.

Shephard put his hands on his hips and shrugged.

“I was like, half-asleep after lugging your ass around, man, you can’t blame me.”

“These for sure need to be reapplied at some-”

Barney was abruptly cut off by the sound of radio static, startlingly loud as it bounced across the room. Instinctively his other thoughts vanished into cold concentration as his hand shot down to his holster and he drew his pistol with practiced speed, whipping his head in the direction of the noise.

It was a large and complicated-looking radio that had roared to life, sat on a wooden crate in the corner of the room and looking starkly out of place in contrast to the rest of its surroundings. Shephard, next to him, had not drawn his weapon, but he was still eyeing the device with silent caution.

In the brash buzzing tones of the radio static, low voices then began to emerge. The voices then formed low words, barely registerable through the chaotic white noise. Then, they heard it.

“C… por...al… Shephard… Corporal Shephard, come in. We’ve been left behind as well, and we’re onto your pos… tion now. Corporal Shephard, come in. ”

Chapter Text

The low pitched words coming through the radio were cracked and distorted, but evidently they were clear as day to Shephard, as he let out a sigh of relief and rushed over. He flipped a few switches that, to Barney, looked wholly unrelated with a trained precision, then held down a square white button.

“Copy. This is Corporal Shephard, identify yourself, soldier. Over.” It probably didn’t carry over the radio, but Barney noticed that Shephard’s voice was shaky as he spoke.

“Sheph...rd, it’s Robins, Kelly S. Robins. I h… Bailey with me. We’re nearing y… --ocation, we… let you know when we’re there. Over.”

“Roger. Kelly, holy shit is it good to hear your voice… But sounding a lot scratchier, you’re gonna end up like Joe Chemo, man. What’s your 20? Over.” Shephard released the button, a relieved grin on his face as he talked to this Kelly character.

Barney leaned against the wall, flipping the safety on his pistol and crossing his arms. Keep the weapon out just in case , he thought as he glared at the door.

“Copy. We’re comi… down another one of these damned hallw...ys, but we’re approaching the door it says you’re behind. Ov-”

“Hey, Bailey calling Shephard, hey Corporal, just sayin’ you don’t sound much better yours...l...f asshat. Over.”

There was another voice over the radio, a bit higher in pitch and laced with what Barney recognized as a thick Oklahoma accent. Shephard barked a small laugh.

“Uh huh, Roger that, Bailey. Over and out.”

Barney felt a glower creep onto his face. He had grown comfortable in Shephard’s company, because, well… But he wasn’t thrilled about travelling with more soldiers, not after what he’d seen happen to so many of his coworkers under some damn orders they were issued. And the idea of the two of them gave Barney flashbacks to orange metal scraping across the floor as Gordon was dragged by his arms. God, Gordon.

Shephard released the button on the radio and stood to full height again, turning to face Barney, a residual smile tracing his features, which fell when he saw his companion’s expression.

“Hey, you good?”

Barney’s glare faltered a bit under Shephard’s scrutiny, but he held his gaze-- was he that oblivious?

“I don’t know Shep, maybe it’s just that I’ve been hunted by HECU marines for the majority of the last 34 whatever hours I’ve been trapped here, and you didn’t tell them you had a Black Mesa security guard with you.” 

Shephard made a little noise and cocked his head. He could see on his face that the man looked a little offended at the insinuation.

“Really? Kelly and Bailey are good guys. It’s been a few years, but they were in my training squad back at boot camp, you don’t know if they got their orders--”

“And if they did?” Barney’s voice was strained.

Shephard looked at him, eyes darting across all areas on Barney’s face, and the guard tensed a bit. Then Shephard sighed and took a few steps toward him, moving into his space. Barney was still tense, but he let him draw closer without any fuss.

“Didn’t mean to upset you. Sorry.” Shephard said, and his hands fumbled as if he were wanting to reach out, but thought better of it, “Listen, if they get all aggro on you, I promise I’ll protect you, okay? I won’t hesitate to punch anyone out, buddy or not.”

The look in Shephard’s dark brown eyes was filled with a conviction that no matter how stressed he was about this, Barney had to believe it. Even if he couldn’t believe in the inherent goodwill of these soldiers… He could believe that Shephard would protect him. Damn him and damn these gut feelings. Barney took a breath, then nodded, holstering his pistol. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Shephard looked surprised.

“I told you I trusted you, remember?” Barney told him, “Back in the tunnels. I was telling the truth.”

A smile crept onto Shephard’s face, a crooked one that crinkled his features just so. He could really get used to that smile, Barney thought as his heart beat a little faster, a familiar swelling in his chest. He felt the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch him, feel his hands on his again.

But he couldn’t, Barney thought as he clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides. It was messed up to even...

Shephard cocked his head and looked at Barney a little closer, leaning in slightly. It seemed as if he was about to say something, when a sudden loud and rattling bang! broke the quiet of the room. The two’s heads whipped over to face the door. Barney pulled his gun out of its holster once again, as the door began to shake and spit sparks around the edges, a loud whirring noise behind it.

“Wait a minute--“ Shephard said, and Barney was just able to hear him over the noise.

There was one more powerful BANG! And the door came loose off its hinges and fell heavily to the ground, dust rising up around it. A head poked out of the doorframe, and Barney held his fire, still pointing the gun toward the doorway.

“Corp?” The Oklahoma accent he’d heard over the radio came from the mouth of the man who stepped through the doorway, holding a blowtorch in a gloved hand.

On his head sat a green helmet that fitted loosely over short bright red curls. He wore big reflective shades over his eyes and a cheeky smile on his freckled face, where in his mouth he held a cigarette between his teeth— Barney assumed this must be Bailey. He irritated Barney for some reason.

A taller, dark-skinned man followed behind, wearing a pair of cracked glasses and a helmet over a shaved head, bearing a red cross symbol- Kelly. The two were clad in HECU uniforms, and Barney saw Shephard gently push the nose of his pistol away as he rushed forward to greet them.

“You assholes could’ve knocked!” Shephard laughed as he clasped hands with Oklahoma, pulling him in with a hearty pat on the back. Shephard turned and did the same with Kelly.

“Well that wouldn’t be as dramatic an entrance, now would it?” Bailey grinned a smug smile as he pulled his shades down his nose, revealing a pair of dark blue eyes.

“I can’t believe you guys made it! I mean, I always kicked your ass in the training drills, Kelly and-“ 

“Yeah yeah, well who here had to study medicine at the same time, huh jarhead?” Kelly interrupted, a small smile growing on his serious features.

“Okay, point taken jarhead .” Shephard’s smile was wide and just… different to how he smiled at Barney.

Barney watched from the corner, pistol still out but pointed towards the floor. He leaned against the wall and just watched as the encounter went down, a small glower tracing his features.

Bailey turned from Shephard momentarily, scanning the room with dark blue eyes, then he locked onto Barney, staring directly at him— to Barney’s discomfort, the man’s smile did not falter in its smugness. In fact, it grew.

“Hey hey, look what Shephard dragged in. A piece of meat!” Bailey chuckled, eyes still fixed directly on him. It set Barney completely on edge as he stared back.

“...And what’s that supposed to mean?” Shephard asked, some forced laughter and some warning in his tone.

“Well the poor thing’s all shaking in the corner with nowhere to go! There’s just no hope for these guys I say.” Bailey turned to Kelly, exposing a row of white teeth as he grinned at his fellow soldier, “Yeah Roberts?”

The redhead took a saunter forward, starting to approach Barney with an unnerving glint in his eye, as Kelly shrugged and watched him start towards the security guard. 

“Hey man, you don’t have to be like that.” Kelly said, cocking his head at Bailey, and it felt like there was something else in his words that Barney just couldn’t bother to determine, something off.

Barney clenched his teeth and clutched at the handle of his gun, kept pointed firmly at the ground next to Bailey, when he saw Kelly sigh and start to reach for his holster. It was then that Shephard stepped forward, blocking Barney from their view as he leaned in close to Bailey’s face.

“Hilarious. He’s with me, and you will treat him with respect. No, fucking reverence,” Shephard’s voice had suddenly dropped to a lower tone than Barney had ever heard from him, dead serious as he looked him straight in the eye, “Or are we gonna have a problem, Lance Corporal?”

Bailey’s smile finally faded, and he shook his head, putting back on his shades as he looked away from him. 

“Sir, no sir.” He kept his tone neutral as he addressed Shephard. Barney hadn’t realized that Shephard had so much authority, but still, he wasn’t too comforted.

“Good. The hell’s gotten into you guys? Did you get those damned orders or something..?” Shephard said, leaning back as Kelly took his hand away from the holster. This prompted Barney to hesitantly lower his gun, not putting it away quite yet. 

A flash of movement caught his eye as Barney glanced downward in time to see Shephard draw a stealthy hand away from his own pistol holster. With a start Barney noted he hadn’t even realized he’d put it there.

“Sorry sir. These guys have been... shooting at us all goddamn day. Killed a few of our squad, sir.” Kelly said with a grim tone.

“Yeah, most of these dicks have gotten what was comin’ to them,” Bailey said, leaning against the wall casually to take a drag from his cigarette, before turning in Barney’s direction, “no offense.”

Bailey followed up the utterly insincere comment by blowing smoke toward him, stinging Barney’s nostrils as it wafted by. Bastard. Fucking bastard. Barney swallowed a lump of vitriol that had built in his throat, and forced a hospitable smile onto his face.

“None taken, I could say the same about your men, really.” Barney managed not to let his voice waver as he practically spat the words at Bailey.

He then watched with satisfaction as Bailey’s face began to turn sour, before Shephard stepped in between them; Barney noticed he had put his gas mask back on. Seeing him, Barney’s satisfaction started to fade a bit-- his comments weren’t meant for him to hear.

“Can you guys chill the hell out so we can just keep moving? Bailey, maybe just don’t talk.” Shephard said, voice exasperated through the filters, before gesturing towards Bailey, 

“Barney, this is Harry Bailey, and over there is Kelly S. Rogers,” Shephard gestured towards Barney this time, movements strained, “Bailey, this is Barney Calhoun, a friend of mine. Now let’s go, and no more fighting, Bailey, that’s an order.”

“Oh don’t worry sir. I’ll be sweet as a daisy.” Bailey failed to keep a snarl out of his voice, and somehow, Barney felt the cold radiating off the man wasn’t only directed toward him.

Chapter Text

They started again at a slower pace, Kelly and Bailey up just a few steps ahead of Barney and Shephard, who walked in a dense silence for a few moments. Shephard was the one to break it. As usual , Barney thought, and he almost gave a small smile.

“Barney, you need a new tactical vest. What I’m thinking is we take it off one of these asshats and give it to you.” Shephard spoke up, leaning close in mock scheming.

“ Pfft! ” Barney broke into a gentle smile, “Heh, I’ll just pick one up eventually. Though that’s not a bad idea.”

Shephard was quiet for a moment, and Barney found himself missing seeing his face, and the subtle changes in his features. 

“Sorry they’re being asshats by the way. They’re my buddies and I’m sure they’ll warm up, it’s just,” he reached up and smoothed a hand down the back of his neck, tilting his head back, “We’ve all been through it today.”

Barney was genuinely listening to him and he did genuinely appreciate it.

But he also couldn’t stop staring dumbly at the curve of Shephard’s throat as he tilted back his head. Rough with slight stubble, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed, and calloused fingers dragging along the tender skin there with a casual grace. Barney swallowed in turn. 

Shephard just had areas of skin showing like that, on his arms and his neck and his fingers despite being a special forces soldier on an active battlefield. Barney couldn’t even guess why that was a significant design choice. Distraction, maybe.

“No it’s—” Barney’s voice came out sounding embarrassingly strangled, so he paused to clear his throat, “It’s not your fault, it’s fine.”

“Okay?” Shephard said a smile in his voice as he looked over.

“Yeah.” Barney said, darting his eyes away to look up at the ceiling, in the corner, anywhere that wasn’t his friend’s throat , as he pulled down his helmet bashfully.

“Okay.” Shephard responded with a voice that wavered with fondness.

Barney’s cheeks burned as he finally let his eyes rest on the two soldiers in front of them. After half a minute of letting his heart calm down, he soon began to notice the two were walking in complete silence, not looking at each other. It was an odd and loaded silence, but Barney couldn’t tell what was so off about it.

It was, of course, only around ten minutes of walking down the twisting corridors of the facility before they found trouble. 

Their footsteps echoed on the tiled flooring as they made their way through more crumbled drab green gray colored walls, crunching through more broken glass, stepping over more smeared blood, mixed red and green. It was depressing how desensitized Barney had become to these sights, but there was no time to grieve his former sense of normalcy-- one that would probably never be the same again. 

Shephard and Barney had caught up to the rest of the group by then, and by the time they turned into a new corridor, yet another broken open elevator shaft to their left, the three young soldiers found themselves reminiscing over slightly distressing boot camp stories of failed pranks and hundreds of laps around fields in the hot Arizona sun. It felt odd to be in the company of more than one other person, the last time being with the scientists when he was escaping the first time. That felt like almost a lifetime ago at this point.

Barney probably would’ve been home by now, or at least in the questioning room of some police force or government agency, after a long car ride through the desert and away from the facility. Had he not been torn away from escape. But, then… He looked over at Shephard, who was engaged in a heated debate over what exercise was the worst with Bailey. 

But then, I wouldn’t have met you.

Abruptly, Shephard paused in the conversation, suddenly alert and looking around the area seriously. 

“Wait, shut up about pull ups for a second. Do you see--” Shephard started, before he was abruptly cut off by the deafening sound of xen teleportation, and in a flash of green lightning, suddenly they were surrounded by six bipedal, horribly slouched and spike-jutting aliens.

Barney blinked off his brief disorientation and quickly drew his shotgun from its holster under his arm, keeping in mind that, besides his helmet, he was still unarmored. The sound of gunshots filled the air as the men immediately jumped into combat, firing into the fleshy-colored aliens as they lunged with ferocity.

Barney found himself surrounded, taking on two of the beasts at once. He felt sweat begin to bead on his forehead under his battered helmet, and he cocked his shotgun, firing with a forceful punch into the alien closest to him. It let out an otherworldly gurgle in the universal sound of pain, and Barney took advantage of its surprise to cock the gun again and blast a bullet into it once more. 

It went flying backward, legs kicking into the air as it hit the ground with a wet thud! Barney immediately whipped around to face the other alien, but it had disappeared. His heart skipped a beat as he once again cocked his shotgun, wildly searching for the missing alien, when he saw it. 

Bailey was fighting it off, backing up slowly, close to the edge of the elevator shaft. His SMG was rattling as he fired shot after shot into its gaping maw. In his adrenaline, Barney rushed over, boots squeaking on the floor as he slid to a stop next to it and, with a deafening shot he blasted the alien to the floor, green fluid spraying as it fell. 

Bailey looked up at him-- he had dropped his cigarette at some point, and his shades were off. There was a weight in his eyes as he frowned at Barney, something like surprise, something like… uncertainty. 

“Calhoun, you-- holy shit! ” Bailey’s eyes suddenly fixed on something behind Barney, widening with shock.

An alien-- the one he thought he had killed-- was suddenly on Bailey in a flash, knocking him backwards with an oof , and Barney felt a hand grab frantically at his shirt. Suddenly, they were both sent flying over the edge of the dark elevator shaft as Bailey tugged Barney down with him. Barney let out a cry of surprise, and they plummeted downward.

In the haze of fear and shock, Barney thought he heard Shephard shouting his name.

The bottom came sooner than he thought it would, and his life hadn’t even finished flashing before his eyes when both men hit a tiled floor. Barney felt his helmet clang against the ground as the wind was knocked thoroughly out of him. He struggled to breathe as the ground swung beneath them. He shakily scrambled to his knees, watching as Bailey kicked the alien out the door and into the tumbling darkness below.

They both gasped for air as gunshots and strangled cries continued to ring out above, echoing down the empty shaft. It was then that Barney noticed… they weren’t at the bottom of the elevator shaft, and he looked up, realizing they hadn’t even fallen 10 feet. The two had had the extraordinary luck to somehow land in an elevator box, the roof of which had already somehow broken in previously. Barney swallowed, soothing his dry throat, heart still pounding out of his chest. That bastard dragged me down with him!

The gunshots stopped, and Barney heard loud and panicked bootfalls, then Shephard’s head was poking over the edge as he breathed nearly as desperately as Barney and Bailey were. Seeing the two of them just below, he dropped his head in utter relief as his helmet hit the corner of the ledge with a thunk. It was then that Kelly, who was standing, appeared behind him, looking down with a serious expression that quickly turned to one of both pure relief and slight amusement.

“I. can’t. believe it!” Kelly shouted down to them, a wide grin overtaking his face, “You lucky bastards! ”

“You guys just sit tight, we’ll get you back!” Shephard lifted his head and braced himself on the edge as he leaned over and said, voice a bit jittery, “God fucking damn it Bailey I’m going to kill you myself!”

“There’s no way you can rewire an elevator on your own, you stooges, I’ll give you directions--” Bailey started, gesturing wildly, still shaking a bit from their close brush with death.

“No, you stay there, remember that I was gonna be an engineer before I switched over?” Kelly replied, before disappearing from view as he shouted, “We’ll get you up here!”

“I’d rather climb and die!” Bailey shouted as they watched Shephard disappear over the edge too.

Bailey grumbled, sitting up from his spot on the ground. He rubbed his arm indignantly, scooting to lean against the wall. Barney sat back on his knees, checking himself for injuries. Another lucky break, as it seemed, because he found no serious injuries, just cuts and bruises-- the most prominent being a long, surface level scratch along his leg, tearing his pants a bit. It wasn’t even bleeding much, if at all.

Barney heaved a heavy sigh, looking back up the shaft, where he heard sounds of metal clanging and quiet arguing between the two that were up there. He looked at Bailey, who was still rubbing his arm. Barney didn’t like the guy, but he also didn’t like this silence-- the guy was usually so loud . The tension was thick enough you could cut it with a butter knife. 

Barney rolled his eyes.

“Your arm. Is it okay?” Barney managed, though his voice sounded flat. Nothing he could do about it.

Bailey looked over, quirking an eyebrow. Then he shrugged, fixing his gaze straight ahead again.

“Dunno. Got a helluva of a bruise.” Bailey said, then he growled, “I’ll manage though.”

“Don’t be a tough guy. We’re in a fuckin’ apocalypse, you need--”

“And what do you care, blue?” Bailey said, voice cracked, dry, and annoyed.

Barney paused. He really didn’t. 

“I don’t.” He answered truthfully.

Bailey tsked, giving a cold smile.

“Appreciate the honesty.”

There was another pause, silence except for the occasional elevator moan as it dangled slowly back and forth. Silence. Barney scowled, turning back to Bailey.

“You from Oklahoma, Bailey?” Barney asked, tone still flat-- though he had been curious about this from the start.

“God damn it, really--”

“Just answer it, partner.”

Bailey looked surprised for a moment, then he sighed and reached into a pocket of his baggy camo pants and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. 

“Give me a sec.”

He took a fresh one out and put it in between his teeth then went to put it away before hesitating, then offering one to Barney. 

Barney didn’t smoke often, and most certainly not with assholes like Bailey. But right now, Barney smelled like shit, felt like shit, and over the past two days he’d brushed with death so often he should start giving him high-fives as he passed. A smoke wouldn’t be the worst thing. 

He took one from the box, while Bailey took out a metal lighter and tried it a few times before sparking a flame. His hands were still slightly shaky as he lit the end, closed the lid of the lighter and tossed it to Barney.

“Yeah I’m a Sooner. And you’re from Texas, huh?” Bailey asked, to which Barney nodded, lighting his and handing the lighter back to Bailey, “I’ve got some family down in Brenham there. Mom’s from there, actually.”

Barney was surprised Bailey was talking to him all, as he put the cigarette to his lips and took a drag, letting his tensed shoulders relax a bit before he blew the smoke back out. 

“Been through Brenham a time or two. I was down near Abeline myself, we uh, owned a little ranch east a few miles from there.”

“Hm, farmboy huh?” Bailey said, baring a few of his teeth in a smile.

“Yeah? You a city guy, with an accent like that?” Barney scoffed.

“Got me. I’m from the boonies too,” Bailey said, taking a smoke, blowing it out of his nose and turning to Barney, “We had two cows-- Yvette and Rocks. Guess which one seven year old me named.”

“ Pff, Barney finally smiled, “reminds me of my dog growing up. Poor thing, I had dubbed him Pepsi after my favorite pop drink.”

Bailey made a face of disgust, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“You named a dog after a pop drink and named it Pepsi? That’s the worst soda,” Bailey scrunched his nose, “You could’ve named it Cola, or Sunkist, or Surge or something.”

“ Surge?” Barney squawked, then crossed his arms as he leaned back against the wall, a small smirk on his face, “You’re insane. I’m starting to think Pepsi was actually a good name.”

Bailey snorted, sharp canines bared in a sly smile. Then, subtly, his expression began to harden, and his smile faded from his face as he took another drag. Barney could once again see that odd mix of emotions in his eyes, that uncertainty. He still didn’t have a clue what it meant.

There were footsteps up on the main level, and Shephard’s head poked out again.

“We figured it out. We think,” He spoke down to them, glancing back down the hall before turning to them again, “We’re gonna try it-- are you guys smoking ?”

“Uh, yeah?” Barney responded, shrugging, cigarette still held between his fingers.

“You know you’re not supposed to smoke in elevators, right?” Shephard said with a grin on his voice.

“Noted, sir.” Bailey snarked back, blowing smoke in Shephard’s direction.

“Okay, well get your asses ready. Hang tight Barney.” Shephard said, before stepping back from the edge and jogging away.

“Hey no kiss for me?” Bailey yelled after him, standing up-- he was still rubbing his arm.

Barney extinguished the cigarette on the floor, brushing himself off as he picked himself off the dusty floor. It wasn’t long before the elevator box began to rumble and shake beneath them, then, slowly, it started to move upward. Barney held onto the wall as they ascended, closer and closer to the main level. Barney and Bailey looked at each other as the box approached the floor with a ding! 

But the doors didn’t open.

All of a sudden the elevator box began to shake once again.

“Uh, is that supposed to happen?” Barney asked over the noise, feeling panic begin to set in.

The elevator box shook violently, tipping to one side, sending Barney sliding over to Bailey’s side of the box.

“Hell no!” Bailey said, eyes blown wide with a similar panic, seconds before the ground gave out beneath them, and they were freefalling once again.

Barney cried out in terror as the box crashed down beneath them, but before he could fall any further he felt a pair of familiar gloved hands seize forcefully around his wrist, and he was caught. Without even thinking, he immediately turned and thrusted his free hand downward to catch Bailey’s hand in his own.

The added weight was enough to wind Barney instantly as he looked down into Bailey’s terrified eyes, dangling over the long drop as the elevator car crashed down below. There was a great deal of effort from all three men as Barney caught Bailey, Barney dropping a bit in his suspension as Shephard struggled to carry two grown men, muscles tensed as he held them up. 

“Kelly! Kelly help!” Shephard let out a strangled cry as he tugged on the two men.

Barney was struggling to maintain his breathing, when Kelly appeared in the doorway. For some reason, there was a moment where he hesitated, that same strange look that he had seen in Bailey present on his face. It gave Barney full body shivers, as all three dangled there helplessly.

Then, Kelly was on his hands and knees, reaching over the edge for Bailey, who was forced to swing the arm he had been rubbing for Kelly to get a grip. He hissed in pain as Barney released him, and as Kelly got a solid grip on him, he swung the other hand up as quickly as possible, looking at Barney briefly before turning back to Kelly.

“Give-- give me your other hand!” Shephard panted, and Barney, though there was soreness in his very bones, reached his hand up, and Shephard seized it in his own, clutching onto it for dear life, like it was the single most important thing in the world.

With a final grunt of effort, he lifted Barney up, then locked his arms beneath Barney’s armpits and heaved him up onto the main floor. Barney scrambled over the side, collapsing onto Shephard as they toppled back in exhaustion.

Barney looked over at Bailey, seeing he’d been pulled up by Kelly, who was patting him on the back, also breathing hard with effort. He let his head fall back down onto Shephard’s lower stomach as he caught his breath, throat dry as he swallowed painfully.

His heart was beating too fast to properly relax for a while yet, and he knew it wasn’t the time to be relaxed anyway. Still, it was comfortable here on… Shephard’s lower stomach. 

That prompted Barney to get up, ears turning pink as he got to his hands and knees, where he found himself directly over Shephard. He was looking through the goggles of his gas mask where, up close, he could make out the shapes of Shephard’s eyes. They were overwhelmed with emotion.

Then he found himself being yanked downward, arms wrapped around his shoulders as he was pulled flush against Shephard into a warm, full-bodied embrace, halfway off the floor. Shephard reached up and pulled off his mask, tossing it aside to nuzzle his face in the crook of Barney’s neck.

Barney’s already racing heartbeat shot up to dangerous levels of speed, feeling Shephard’s hot breath against his skin and the weight of muscular arms wrapped around his neck. 

Barney’s face burned; he was acting like a teenage girl, but he couldn’t care less as he melted into the embrace, smoothing his own hands over Shephard’s back to clasp behind him. He let his head rest on Shephard’s shoulder, breathing in the pungent scent of sewer water and blood and sweat. Barney laughed— he supposed he probably didn’t smell much better. 

“You can’t keep doing this to me, man.” Shephard’s voice was relieved, choked with emotion, and muffled in his shoulder.

“Oh, I’m doing it to you?” Barney whispered, a smile on his face, “And who was the one who fixed up the elevator?”

“Me… M’ sorry. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself.” Shephard slurred, and Barney felt his head nuzzle further into his neck, “Was mostly Kelly, though.”

Barney laughed, and he felt Shephard smile into his shoulder.

“We could’ve just climbed the cables instead.” 

At this, Shephard lifted his head, craning his neck to look at Barney.

“I wouldn’t have let you climb elevator cables. Are you crazy?” Shephard remarked, his sweet crooked smile back on his face; Barney laughed, practically sparkling as he smiled back.

The sound of someone loudly clearing their throat behind them broke the two out of their haze, and Barney turned to see Kelly and Bailey waiting, arms crossed— just watching. 

Barney quickly sat back, and the two men quickly got to their feet. Barney brushed off his pants, embarrassed as Bailey tapped a foot impatiently.

“Are you guys actually homos? Because I was just joking but…” Bailey quirked an eyebrow.

“Whatever, Bailey.” Shephard rolled his eyes, “I’m fucking glad you’re okay but you’re gonna make me shove you back down there myself.” He roughly patted his shoulder as he started back down the hallway again.

Bailey paused, then walked up to Barney after Kelly and Shephard started up ahead.

“Hey blue. Just, uh,” Bailey rubbed the back of his neck— obviously he didn’t do this often, “Sticking your neck out for me back there? That was real decent of you. Real fuckin’ decent.”

Barney was surprised he was getting anything at all from Bailey, and so he just stood with his mouth open, not sure how to respond.

“Just wanted you to know I know that.” Bailey said, jogging ahead to keep pace with Kelly.

What an odd thank you. That was the only thing Barney could think.

Chapter Text

Walk, fight, walk, then keep walking— that’s what Barney had been doing for the past however many hours, he thought as they climbed through a broken window to pass by a hallway that had been barricaded off.

After nearly an hour of walking, they’d encountered about 20 of those god damned headhumpers, and a whole host of more weird and small creatures. As a group, the men were able to get through each encounter with little incident. Barney almost couldn’t believe how easy it was.

He found himself counting the broken windows, ignoring the usual gore that covered the facility as he passed by and stepped over it all. He was almost bored as they passed through an office and into a wide hallway, cream colored walls on both sides, while Kelly, Bailey and Shephard chatted up ahead— he’d tuned out a while ago.

He was in the middle of deciding whether a cracked one he had spotted counted or not, when he noticed a flash of red on the wall. He paused in his steps, the others ahead evidently not noticing as they kept walking.

Upon closer inspection, Barney saw writing on the wall, in darkened red— blood. That same blood assumedly soaked a part of the security guard tactical vest that was pinned to the wall just underneath it with a military-issued knife. In messy writing, the letters spelled out: 

YOUR NEXT FREEMAN

Freeman?

Besides the appallingly unthreatening misuse of “your”, the message scared him. It couldn’t be that Freeman that they were talking about, could it..? Why would the military need to threaten him directly?

Gordon Freeman, his scientist friend who refused to kill flies. His scientist friend who smiled shyly when he dropped his glasses and accidentally blew up casseroles in microwaves, and who scrambled through vents with him to fetch Dr. Kleiner’s keys when he locked himself out of his office.

It had to be someone else. But he almost wanted to believe it— he needed to confirm that… that Gordon was still alive.

“—Hey ladies, I found a service ladder! I… I think this’ll bring us topside!” 

Barney turned when he heard Bailey’s voice— down the hall there was indeed the ladder he’d called attention to, colored a garish red and attached to the opposite wall. Light shone down from above it, and Bailey and Kelly ran there, looking up into it.

Barney turned and knelt to pull out the knife that pinned the bloodied tactical vest to the wall. He cringed as he put it on, but for the most part, it was undamaged. His last tactical vest hadn’t originally been his either. Or the one before that.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about the writing, the implications. He stood and began to look at those bloody strokes again, lost in thought.

“What the hell? Bailey you’re a god! I’ll be right up, just give me a sec!” Shephard exclaimed, before glancing back at Barney. “New vest, huh?”

Shephard jogged over to Barney, smile fading as he saw the look on his face. 

“What are you..?”

He looked over at the wall, following his gaze to look at the message. He was quiet for a moment, before he turned to Barney.

“They misspelled ‘you’re’.”

Barney turned to him.

“I know.”

Shephard looked away, back at the text on the wall. The silence was dense as Barney searched for the right words to say, about Gordon, about…

“Gordon, right?” Shephard finally said, a weak smile on his face, “He really stirred up the hive, didn’t he?”

“I-I don’t know, he’s not usually the type to provoke this kind of reaction from people--”

“Even if it’s not him, I said I’d help find this guy.” Shephard said, giving Barney a soft nudge with his elbow, “You’re still supposed to buy us drinks, anyway. So even if this is the exit, if you’re going back down I’m… Well I’m going down too.”

Barney’s heart ached as he looked at Shephard, guilt filling into his chest as he stared into those soft brown eyes. It felt unfair using Shephard for this personal business.

“No, Shephard, you can’t do that, I--”

“I know how you feel about him, Barney,” Shephard said quietly, “I haven’t known you very long-- hell, I’ve barely known you…”

Shephard paused to clear his throat, then continued. 

“But I can see it in your eyes, and I won’t let you leave him behind and I won’t let you do this alone.”

Barney’s throat started to close up, choked up with, with what? You’ve got it all wrong… That’s what he wanted to say to Shephard.

But he hadn’t gotten it wrong. Barney wished with all his heart that he had, that he hadn’t figured out the way he felt about Gordon-- he didn’t know why it hurt so much. Or why Shephard looked so wounded when he reacted the way he did; he hated that look on him. Barney opened his mouth and tried to speak.

Barney wanted to go after Gordon, he did, but he… 

It was ridiculous, they’d just met, but he…

“Shephard, I…”

“--What’s taking you so long?!” Bailey’s shout echoed down the hallway, and Barney pressed his eyes closed, sighing heavily.

It was ridiculous.

“I understand. You’re psyched I’m coming and you’ll make room for me on the tram ride back down.”

Barney rolled his eyes. His smile was small, but soft as it crept onto his face. 

“Something like that.” Barney’s voice was wobbly.

He had always had an easy smile, but even in the roughest of situations, Shephard had a way of just pulling it out of him with no effort at all. 

That’s what he… that’s what he loved about him.

Shephard hesitated a moment, before holding out a broad, gloved hand to Barney.

“I’m not leaving you, Barney. This is only our trial run.” He said with conviction in his eyes, then he turned and put back on his mask, “Let’s go see what the hell Bailey’s talking about.”

Barney willed back tears as he slid his hand into Shephard’s. To Barney’s surprise, they took off running down the hallway. He squeaked as he let himself be whisked away by his friend, boots squealing as their feet hit the floor— suddenly, it was almost like he was in school again running through the halls with his friends as they skipped class, simple exhilaration and joy filling their very bones. He let himself lean into Shephard’s touch, and felt him lean back.

When they reached the ladder, Kelly and Bailey had already ascended. Barney and Shephard just stared at each other for a second, catching their breaths, gentle smile still sparkling on Barney’s face.

“Get up here, what’s taking you?” Kelly’s voice echoed down the hole, prompting Barney to finally turn away.

Letting go of Shephard’s hand felt like trying to pull magnets apart, and Shephard reached out as he released it, gripping his heart in mock despair. Barney grinned, though he was already missing the warmth of Shephard’s skin on his as he peered up the hole.

The light streaming down through the hole wasn’t the sun, it was the moon. 

It shone, pale and elegant in the dark desert sky, surrounded by the hundreds and thousands and millions of stars that shone in their own right, all visible from out here. Something beautiful after all the carnage. Barney glanced backward to see Shephard perform a clumsy imitation of a gentlemanly gesture toward the ladder.

“You first, good sir.”

“Uh-huh.” Barney finally laughed, and he faced Shephard as he started to climb.

“ God you guys are so gay. Just climb the ladder!” Bailey’s voice came down now, and though Barney’s expression dropped, he chose to ignore the comment as he ascended, to not think about it too hard.

“Shut the fuck up, Bailey!” Shephard laughed it off, and Barney chose not to think about it too hard .

When he got to the top he pulled himself up and brushed off, looking up to find himself standing in an open and empty storage and parking area. The grounds were concrete and dirt, parched from the hot days of the New Mexico desert, and they were surrounded by metal garage doors, wooden crates and short storage buildings. Alarmingly, there were also military vehicles, but they all appeared to be abandoned.

There were large drops in the concrete ground that upon second glance, led down about a 6 foot drop into shallow water, scattered pieces of rubble lying around it, clear liquid lapping its edges. In the distance, above the storage structures, the tall mesas surrounding the facility cut a pitch dark, intimidating silhouette against the star speckled night sky. And it looked like there was… a door. A large and built steel emergency exit, on the other side of the area.

Was this their way out? Barney’s heart raced faster, and he turned around to see Bailey pulling Shephard up off the last rung. Bailey looked uncharacteristically severe. 

Barney was worried his own face would start to hurt from how many glowers had crossed his features that day, looking at Bailey’s hand in Shephard’s. Barney shook his head out and turned around, glower turning to a grimace— his… jealousy was not important now. 

“There’s an emergency exit on the other side of the courtyard!” Barney’s voice was jittery as he spoke, the exit finally right in front of him , but the knowledge that Gordon might be alive pressing at his mind, “M-Maybe you guys can hijack a car and you can— right, you guys might have keys, or—” 

He was abruptly cut off by the loud cocking of pistols. Cold metal was suddenly prodding against his unarmored back.

“Sorry blue, no hard feelings.” 

Before Barney could even think, there were loud footsteps, and the sensation of the metal disappeared. No more than a split-second later, the loud blast of a pistol rang out from behind him, loud and quick as a crack of lightning, followed by a high yelp of pain in a voice that was so familiar. But Barney didn’t feel any pain, didn’t see any blood spray out in front of him.

He was suddenly sick. Barney whipped around as fast as his body could manage, but it felt like the world was moving in slow motion. He heard another gunshot. Barney saw Shephard, rushing forward to forcefully disarm Bailey, who had a gun pointed crookedly at him, smoking at the barrel. 

Kelly stood behind him, gun smoking at the end as well. Bright red blood gushed heavily down Shephard’s left arm, and there was something off about his mask. Barney clenched his teeth, anger and fear blossoming wildly in his chest, but he didn’t have time to evaluate the damage as he pulled his shotgun out.

Barney was cut off in readying his aim on Kelly by a shot at his feet, hearing another cracking gunshot over the rush of blood in his ears. He jumped back as the bullet ricocheted off the ground, and with a glance he realized it had come from one of the garage roofs, another bullet ricocheting powerfully just next to Shephard. A bullet shot from behind him, striking a wooden crate adjacent to him, snapping and splintering the planks.

This wasn’t just a betrayal-- It was a complete ambush.

There was only one concern that was prominent, pressing in Barney’s mind as he holstered his shotgun and drew his .357 Magnum, running and pressing his back to a concrete pillar for cover, ready to jump out at aim directly at the sniper. It was his turn.

He wasn’t going to let Shephard die.

.

Why?

Adrian knocked Bailey to the ground, who immediately attempted to aim his gun at Adrian again. 

Why?

He pinned a knee against the man’s pistol arm, putting his other foot directly on Bailey’s injured arm. He cried out in pain. 

Why?

Adrian drew his own pistol. What a fucking fool he had been.

Bailey had shot him, tried to kill him. He’d tried to kill Barney, even after Barney had saved his life. Even after everything they’d been through.

Adrian bit his lip under the mask so hard it bled, then shook his head to clear it, hand shaking violently as he shoved the barrel of the gun under Bailey’s helmet and pressed it to his forehead with bruising pressure. Gunshots rang out behind him as Bailey reached up to grab at his arms, eyes blown wide with terror in a silent plea.

Through his cracked open goggle lens, the sight, saturated in mixed greens and neutrals and darks and brights and blood, blood, blood, it was so disorienting.

Adrian didn’t have time for this, there were people fucking shooting at him and this was a fucking traitor; he just needed to pull-- He just needed--

He felt a white hot flash of pain as a bullet nicked the back of his arm, and he flinched away, blood starting to pour out as it throbbed, and suddenly he was being knocked to the ground by Bailey, who, breathing raggedly, pulled out his knife and immediately stabbed at Adrian.

Losing blood quickly, Shephard was feeling faint. But in that split-second, he remembered— he always beat Bailey in training drills. Adrian dodged the stab, slamming his elbow into the man’s bad arm. Bailey cried out.

“Agh! You miserable fucking queer—!”

Adrian kicked him off him with a yell, then leapt to his feet immediately, raising his pistol and firing once, directly into the joint on Bailey’s good arm.

Adrian smothered his spiking emotions as he heard the man try and fail to restrain a deep and guttural scream, looking away. He hoped it would put Bailey out of commission— Adrian knew it was more than Bailey deserved to let him live, even with such an injury. But he couldn’t kill him.

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU! I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” Bailey continued to scream, and Adrian turned back to see pure malice and smoldering duty in his dark blue eyes. 

This wasn’t the Bailey he used to know. How couldn’t he have seen it before? Bailey let out one more choking scream and slipped into unconsciousness.

It was then that Adrian saw a light in his peripheral vision, red and small. He snapped his head down to see a bright red laser point on his chest, and he almost felt his heart stop. Sniper. He immediately sprung out of the way and rolled to the ground as a powerful bullet ricocheted off the spot he was just a moment ago. His wounds screamed in pain as he moved, and blood was quickly streaming out as he tried to catch his breath and failed.

Before he could even think about his next course of action, there were muscular arms locked around his neck, and Adrian felt his throat close up as they squeezed, leaving him open for snipers as they stretched him upward. 

Adrian attempted to flip the person behind him, but when they didn’t budge, it was evident they were taller and heavier than Shephard. He saw a bright red laser pointer start to light up on his chest, and in the split-second he tried to swing the man around to block it, there was a deafening gunshot blast to his left, and screaming curses from behind him in a familiar voice.

The arms loosened and dropped away from his neck, prompting Adrian to immediately break free and roll out of the way as the sniper shot hit his assailant in the abdomen instead. Adrian immediately whipped his head around to see Barney holding a smoking .357 Magnum on Kelly, who was now curled up in pain on the floor, blood soaking his uniform from gunshot wounds on his shoulder and stomach.

This shouldn’t be happening. 

Adrian didn’t have time to process it before he spotted another sniper laser, then another-- directly on him and Barney. Not you. He didn’t think, he just leapt and tackled Barney to the ground as they just dodged the bullets, hitting the ground hard. Barney looked up at Adrian with wide eyes, then his gaze flicked to the side as he spotted something, expression turning into a glare as he tugged and rolled them both over so that he was on top, then sat up.

Adrian watched Barney straddle his lap as he fired his magnum up into the rooves, and suddenly, there was a thump from across the courtyard as one of the snipers fell, dead. Barney let out a breath of disbelief, then, after the briefest of pauses, turned and took Adrian’s hand in his.

“W-We need to get out of here, let’s make for the emergency exit!” He told Adrian, voice jittery with adrenaline.

Adrian’s blood ran hot, and he almost felt his emotional floodwall begin to break— this was too much.

“Barney, you can’t do this, what about Gor—“

“Shep you guessed it! I love Gordon! But I-I-I… need you, Shephard! Just—!”

Barney shook his head and stood up. Adrian was completely overwhelmed as he was tugged off the floor by Barney, and he allowed himself to be dragged along. They practically flew across the courtyard, gunshots ringing all around as they stumbled and dodged and made their way to the large exit doors.

Despite the cold of the New Mexico night, it was so hot ; he was caught up in the heat, in the heat of pain and the heat of betrayal and the heat of a battle he desperately wished hadn’t happened. A haze. A bad dream.

“I have access, just let me take care of it!” Barney yelled, as they quickly approached the large and metal sealed doors that were their escape.

Barney let go of Adrian’s hand, running up to a large wall-mounted panel, where he began to input a sequence of numbers and lean in for an eye scan.

In the meantime, with shaky hands, Adrian turned his back to Barney and aimed in the direction of the nearest sniper, firing directly in their way. There was a cry and a slump as the sniper fell over, dead. One less, one left.

“There’s something wrong with this damn panel! I can't get in!” Barney’s called from behind him, frustration in his voice.

Adrian whipped his head around to look, seeing Barney pound on the device in frustration, when his eye caught on something in the window of the large metal door— rather, someone. 

It was the man in the blue suit. His piercing, glowing blue eyes were fixed directly on him. Adrian’s blood chilled, and he froze, staring back at him, unable to tear his gaze away.

Then, as always, the man straightened his tie with a thin, unnerving smile, and walked away and out of sight.

Adrian felt himself break out of his momentary paralysis, blanking in disbelief, when he heard Barney shouting his name. Adrian turned and saw Barney rushing toward him to push him down, right as a bullet soared toward them. Adrian saw Barney flinch dramatically, his arm jerking backward and starting to shake. 

Did he..? Adrian thought, panic rising in his chest.

“Barney?”

“It’s just a nick, Shephard, I— we need to go.”

“Barney!”

Adrian was pulled to his feet once again, and Adrian felt cold sweat starting to form on Barney’s palm. He felt cold and heavy guilt beginning to pool in his gut as he stared at his friend, whose face was contorted in pain. This was his fault. This was all his fault— if only he’d listened to Barney to begin with, then they wouldn’t be in this fucking mess. 

Adrian was swaying on his feet, delirious from the pain. It was then that Barney turned back to him, searching his one visible eye.

“Are— Are you gonna be able to make it? We’re gonna run for the water, then go through those giant pipes.” Barney told him, nodding in the direction of the large canal type system, just below ground level.

Adrian suddenly leaned forward and rested his head on Barney’s good shoulder for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut in misery. 

“I’m sorry.” Adrian said quietly. 

Then, he lifted his head and looked into Barney’s eyes, before grabbing the magnum from his hands and running out into the open. He heard Barney yell behind him, but he didn’t turn back— he wasn’t going to have Barney take another shot for him.

It was less than a second before Shephard saw that bright red light again— it was coming from upwards, pointed directly at his head. Adrian knew that even though he was wearing a helmet, a straight sniper shot would render it useless. 

His heart rate spiked, and he leapt out of the way right as the bullet hit the ground next to him, nicking the bottom of his boot. Even as his vision was fading in and out of blackness, Adrian tracked where the bullet had come from. Four o’clock.

He whipped around and fired the powerful magnum shot twice, kickback sending his arm reeling back, and he winced in pain. He held his breath as there was a deafening pause, a silence, he heard a thump as the sniper fell. 

Adrian sighed in relief, dropping the gun as he fell forward onto his hands and knees. He heard hurried footsteps behind him and then hands on his front shoulders as Barney knelt in front of him, face white as a sheet.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Despite his angry words, Barney’s voice was frightened, brimmed with panic.

Adrian didn’t know how to answer, his mouth was dry and his heart was sore. So he just slumped his head in exhaustion, feeling his emotional floodgates begin to burst as he let out dry heavy sobs. 

Barney’s hands tensed on his shoulders at first. Then, one began to smooth comfortingly, shakily across his shoulders, then up his neck to gently cup his masked face. Adrian melted into the touch, tears falling out of his eyes faster than he could blink them away. He felt Barney’s gentle hand tilt his head forward, and felt as the man planted a kiss on his forehead. He pulled Shephard’s head close against his chest in an embrace, and it was warm. Not hot, like pain and like betrayal, but a subtle, gentle, radiant warmth.

Shephard sobbed. And Barney was there.

Chapter Text

To Adrian, the next half an hour or so was a blur, as Barney and him trudged down into the shallow water of the tunnels. He remembered Barney talking about getting away from the scene and under cover just in case reinforcements were called, but it all felt so vague. 

They splashed through shallow water in silence. Adrian felt like a zombie, in the harsh red lighting of the tunnel, as they climbed through, keeping his weapon out only to protect Barney and himself if need be. Other than that, all he did was follow him. He could feel Barney’s eyes on him, but Adrian couldn’t bring himself to look back-- not like this. It was a series of twists and turns before the two men saw pale light at the end of the tunnel.

When they emerged, it was onto a fenced off cliffside, carved into the side of the mesa that the facility was built into. The shining moonlight illuminated a deep river valley, stretching miles below them, and the sky expanded above them, so all-encompassing and full of stars it felt like it would swallow Adrian whole. The area was completely deserted, and wholly, totally silent.

There were a few more scattered crates, as well as a HECU radio-- but it looked like it was offline. A few first aid kits were scattered across the tops of the boxes as well, and Barney made a beeline for them.

“There are medkits here, Shephard, someone musta’ just left them.”

Shephard.

Adrian put his back against the wall of the cliffs and let himself sink to the dusty ground, watching Barney grab the first aid and make his way back over. Adrian felt guilty, making Barney do all the work, but it was all the effort he could spare just to make himself move. Barney knelt next to him, clicking open the medkit and taking out a syringe filled with that same green liquid as was in the first aid station. Adrian really shouldn’t have been surprised.

Barney gestured to hand over his arm, taking out a sterile wipe as he held up the needle in his hand.

“Shephard, I’ll--”

“It’s Adrian.” He interjected, finally speaking.

“What?”

“I decided I don’t like you just calling me Shephard.” Adrian rasped, still not looking at Barney, “That’s what my lieutenant called me and what my squadmates called me, and you’re…” 

He sighed, what were the right words? He took off his broken mask and unbuckled his helmet, discarding them on the ground, before looking back up at Barney with shining eyes.

“I want you to call me Adrian.”

Adrian. Adrian Shephard. Barney repeated the name a few times in his mind, tracing the lines of Adrian’s face with his eyes as he burned it into his mind. 

“Adrian Shephard, huh?” He finally said softly, then he breathed in a small laugh, “That… is so much better than Alfred.”

Adrian’s eyes lit up, then, surprisingly, he barked out a weak laugh, whimpering a bit when he stretched the tender muscle where he had been shot at. Barney tsked and leaned forward, cleaning the area around his two wounds, which were surrounded with his blood. 

“Don’t laugh.”

“Don’t make me.” Shephard— no, Adrian, spoke tenderly.

Barney carefully administered the syringe, waiting a few moments and watching as the wounds began to partially heal themselves. He sighed in relief, getting out bandages and holding up Adrian’s muscular arm in order to wrap the gauze properly, wincing as he lifted his left arm, which still had a dull throbbing sensation. Barney felt Adrian’s eyes on him the entire time.

“You’re good at this.” Adrian quietly said, watching him work on his arm with interest.

“We had a lot of training of this stuff,” Barney said, shrugging, then he looked up at Shephard with a small smirk on his face, “Weren’t you supposed to have that training, too, Mr. Soldier?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Adrian stuck out his lower lip.

“The bandages, from last time.” Barney smiled, “You didn’t even put them on the inside of my shirt, what if I got infected?” 

“I was all half-asleep, I should have you know.” Adrian responded, cocking his head in quiet indignance, a faint blush on his face— but he also had a trace of a smile, as Barney finished with the gauze and leaned back.

Barney watched Adrian rake his gaze across Barney, then lean forward, grabbing the second medkit and clicking it open. He pulled out the syringe and held out his bad arm, which was now rapidly healing.

“Damn, that feels weird,” Adrian said, looking at his healing wounds, before turning his gaze back on Barney, “Here, gimme your arm.”

Barney couldn’t help it, he cracked up. Adrian’s face was indignant.

“What?”

“You’re about to do it again! I still have my shirt on…” Barney trailed off, realizing the implications.

Adrian raised an eyebrow, syringe still in hand.

“I… don’t have to… Fuck me that came out wrong—” Barney began to sweat. This was a mess.

“Barney, I’m good with it, but if you’re not comfortable—” Adrian started.

“No that’s not it I….” Barney cringed— how could he put this? “I want you to.”

He could hardly look at Adrian, but when he glanced up at him through his lashes, Adrian was still watching him. He wasn’t ready to laugh at him, but instead he was looking with gentle eyes. Barney felt about ready to melt.

“Okay.” Adrian responded, almost a whisper.

Barney swallowed hard, nodding as he began to unbuckle his vest, struggling a bit with one hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Adrian put down the syringe and reach out, helping unfasten the dark belts of the vest and pull it off, placing it aside.

They were both quiet, alone in the silent moonlight with the only sound being the loud pounding of Barney’s heart in his ears, as Adrian reached forward and cut off the clumsy dressings around Barney’s waist. 

He reached up to the collar of Barney’s shirt, then paused and drew his hand back.

“Here, you can do that part.” Adrian spoke, and Barney let out a sigh of relief, and...

Right, too much , Barney thought— he might not have been able to handle it if Adrian unbuttoned his shirt for him. Barney loosened his tie and took it off, then, with shaking hands he undid the buttons on his wrinkled, soiled blue dress shirt, exposing his semi-soft stomach and dark chest hair. He winced in pain as he peeled the fabric off the wound on his left arm, and placed it neatly on the floor next to him.

Adrian had his gaze focused on him, raking his eyes over him; Unabashedly. 

“It’s not polite to stare.” Barney joked, but he was a bit breathless himself.

“It’s not.” Adrian blinked, before he picked up the syringe and sterilizing wipes, “Here, let me.”

Adrian cleaned up the area of the injury with as much grace as he could muster. Barney was acutely aware the entire time of the warm and strong, but tender grip on his arm as Adrian administered the medicine. It was like he was a virgin again, the way he was reacting. 

There was that strange tingling sensation again, as the green liquid entered his bloodstream and he felt the pain in his arm start to dull.

Adrian wrapped his partially healed wound with care, then looked up at him, nodding over at his abdomen.

“Can I do the other one, too? I want to do a better job this time.” Adrian asked.

Barney nodded, feeling a bit strangled, as Adrian grabbed the gauze again and scooted closer, using the sterilized wipe to clean his larger wound. Barney felt a sting as he did, but he didn’t dare to move. He hoped Adrian didn’t feel how warm he was, because Barney felt like he was about to burn up.

Adrian placed his gloved hands on Barney’s waist, as he began to gingerly unravel the gauze around his torso, fingers tracing along the skin there. Barney shivered, and Adrian pulled away, silently looking at him as he finished.

“Satisfactory?” He breathed.

Barney was dazed for a moment, before nodding, and reaching up to unbuckle his overheated helmet, putting it on the pile of clothes that had accumulated.

Suddenly, he felt a hand begin to carefully run through his messy, dark hair, and he looked up to see Adrian reaching out, staring at it with that tender, crooked smile on his face.

“You keep it gelled and everything, huh..?”

Barney couldn’t speak. He just looked at Adrian’s lips. He was so close.

Adrian followed his gaze, and his eyes flicked down towards Barney’s, then back up to lock eyes with him. Barney wasn’t seeing things, in those deep browns, he saw affection, desire… aching want . 

Barney’s heart rate spiked, and he felt like he could hardly breathe as he stared at Adrian. He’d never kissed a guy before and he… couldn’t. Adrian would regret it or he.. .

Barney pulled away, going to pick up his shirt and pull the grimy thing on. It was supposed to be chilly outside. 

“Uh, y-yeah, I’m— I’m surprised you could tell, after all that sweat under the helmet.” 

Adrian hesitated, then pulled away, putting his back against the stone wall again.

“Well, you know, man of many talents.” Adrian was breathing abnormally, staring off into the distance.

Barney started to button up his shirt, rolling up the sleeves to at least get some damn part of this fabric off his body. He finished and put his chin in his hand.

“So… Do you have a girl back home, Adrian?” 

Adrian turned and barked out a laugh, almost in disbelief.

“Seriously?”

“What!”

Adrian shook his head, locking his eyes back out in the distance with a smile on his face.

“No, Barney, I do not have a girl back home.” Adrian said with an air of sarcasm, then he paused, “If I remember, you actually never told me about your girl back home. Was it Gordon?”

Barney put his hands on his cheeks to attempt to cool them, but they only exasperated the burning blush that covered them. There were suddenly images of short jet hair, and soulful black eyes to match. Square wire-framed glasses, a teasing smile, a sharp tongue. Forgotten flowers in his dorm room.

“No… No, actually.”

Adrian blinked, mouth slightly open.

“So, are you telling me you do have a girlfriend?”

Barney wasn’t sure whether to jump to his own defense or to clarify first, and he crossed his arms indignantly.

“Hey, what’s so surprising about that?” Barney paused, then shrugged, “And for your information, I don’t.”

“Oh.” Adrian’s shoulders relaxed.

Barney hesitated. But he… He might never see her again. Lauren or Gordon. 

“She’s a security guard here, too, actually. Smart— no, brilliant. Could’ve been a scientist if she really wanted to,” Barney felt a smile creep onto his face, talking about her, “She was the only woman on my force. This tiny 5’2 glasses-wearing lady, but she could kick your ass in drills. That’s… That’s why I trust that she’ll be fine. That she’s alive.”

He felt himself beginning to choke up. It had been a long two days, and he had tried not to think about her, because it would be too much. Too much stress. But now, he was starting to feel a giant weight in his gut, chest flooded with emotion.

“I was gonna give her flowers, Adrian.” Barney clenched his fists, “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not.” Adrian responded, genuine in his words, “Damn, you’re a sucker for this lady though, huh?”

Barney let out a tearful laugh, then looked at Adrian, blinking the tears away.

“I am.” Barney said, shaking his head with a sad smile, “But I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” 

“Is there really such a thing as meant to be, man?” Adrian shrugged.

“I don’t know, maybe not,” Barney responded, “but I did meet you.” 

Adrian’s mouth hung slightly open for a few seconds, then he smiled.

“I guess you did.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, an unspoken tension sitting between them once again, like some kind of invisible force. Then, Adrian suddenly stood, walking over to the deactivated military radio that rested on the supply crate, abandoned.

“Wanna see something rad?”

Barney raised his eyebrows, leaning back against the stone wall as he watched Adrian kneel and begin to fiddle with the radio. It was the same as before-- he flipped a few switches and pressed some buttons, none of which made sense to him. 

“Just a second…” He stuck his tongue out, then reached and turned the dial, tuning into radio static, until…

Slowly, the crinkly and brittle noise of the static began to give way, quietly, to low and soulful notes as an old doo-wop song began to emerge from the radio’s scratchy speakers. Barney breathed out a laugh, and Adrian turned back and smiled.

“When we were fooling around back at base camp, we figured out a way to get actual music on these things. The only channel we managed to get to play was this one that just plays old music but, hey, not the worst.”

“Hey wait, I’ve heard this one before-- “Stay” by Maurice Williams and… Yeah and the Zodiacs! My mom loves this song.” Barney smiled, pushing his hair back.

His parents were big on old rock and roll, growing up in the seventies, and his house was constantly full of fifties and early sixties tunes, blasting on their living room record player. Adrian looked from him to the radio, then he walked over and sat next to Barney again. 

He plopped down and unbuckled his heavy tactical belt and vest, dropping them to the floor so that he was now dressed down to a dull green, form fitting t-shirt and loose camo pants, a silver chain around his neck, dipping under his shirt. Then, he slouched and propped his chin in his hand.

“Tell me about her.” 

“My mom?” Barney was surprised.

“Yes, your mom.” Adrian snickered a bit.

Barney rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

“My mom, huh… Well… What do I say about her?”

Barney remembered his mom’s face better than anything, even though he hadn’t seen her for a few months prior to the incident. They still called, even though they lived a few hundred miles from each other, and Barney still got in his car and drove down to see her every once in a while, back on the ranch.

“She has this long honey blonde hair, that I never inherited, obviously,” He said, running a hand through his own black locks, “And she loves plum lipstick, and old doo wop and folk music. She’d always dance in the kitchen with me while she cleaned the dishes growing up. I’d come in to help— then we’d always get distracted and never actually get anything done.

“But I do know how to square dance pretty well now.” Barney was grinning now, recounting those good memories, and Adrian laughed. He liked making Adrian laugh.

It was hard to believe they were only now getting to know each other. 

“You know what? I’ve told you so much about my personal life, but you’ve never told me about yours.”

Adrian let out a low whistle.

“You sure you wanna know?”

Barney scooted towards him, looking at Adrian, silhouetted against a sparkling, dark sea of stars, his eyes darker as the moon shone behind him. 

“I wanna know more about you.”

“Well, my favorite color is blue.”

Barney rolled his eyes.

“You know what I mean.”

Adrian shrugged, and reached up to scratch the back of his neck.

“Well, there’s not much to it. Dad was a drunk. Mom was worse. I didn’t spend more time around them than I had to growing up, so I spent more time out of the houses than I did in them— I don’t think they noticed. I didn’t know them that well,” Adrian started playing with the silver chain around his neck, “both damn angry people, no wonder they couldn’t hold down jobs. Never knew why my dad married a Chinese woman if he hated Chinese people.”

Barney couldn’t help staring at the wide scar, carved deep into the left side of Adrian’s face, from his upper chin almost reaching the corner of his mouth. Adrian followed his line of sight and scoffed, touching the scar with the tips of his fingers. 

“It’s an old thing. I hung around a few bad crowds as a kid, got it when some asshole cut me up ‘as a joke’.” Adrian told him nonchalantly, “I’m honestly surprised it took you this long to ask.”

“Jesus.” Barney said, not knowing what else to say, any words of comfort or understanding, but Adrian didn’t seem to need any comforting.

“Yep, the military set me straight. I joined for stupid reasons, got kicked in the ass, came out better for it.

“Speaking of pains in asses, I do have a little sister.” Adrian was suddenly grinning as he reached into one of the pockets of his abandoned tactical belt and pulled out a Polaroid.

Barney leaned over, seeing a slightly younger Adrian, dressed in his military uniform, smiling cheekily and holding up the camera as he posed with a teenage girl, who glared into the camera, arms crossed. She had small, parallel scars that tore across her face, and her hair was black and pushed back messily.

“Her name is Michelle. Don’t mind the scars, she walked into a crowbar as a kid.” 

Barney couldn’t help a surprised laugh, and Adrian grinned back.

“Yeah, she’s really annoying. She wants to join the military, too, and I think she has what it takes to join the special forces. She's damn smart and strong as hell, but…” Adrian shook his head, playing with the silver chain around his neck again, “I don’t know. What I do know is as soon as I’m back I’m taking her with me.”

Barney watched him play with the chain, rolling it back and forth between his fingers. He just hoped it didn’t have a sad story behind it, too, for Adrian’s sake..

“Your necklace— what is it?” Barney asked tentatively.

Adrian looked down, realizing he was fiddling with it, then he smiled, pulling it out of his shirt and holding it up for Barney. It was a pair of military-issued dog tags.

“I wouldn’t exactly call them jewelry, but here, you can look at ‘em.” He pulled them off and tossed them to Barney, who caught them with ease.

The metal was still warm, as he shifted it between his hands, glancing up at Adrian before he looked down, reading the small metal inscription.

SHEPHARD,

ADRIAN B.

991-825-7677

O POS

NO PREFERENCE

Shephard shrugged as Barney handed them back, and he put them back around his neck.

“We’re technically not allowed to give them away if we’re on active duty. But I always thought it would be special to give one away if I ever found someone who I thought could really take care of it. It’s like a promise I’ll come back.”

Adrian laughed and scratched his head.

“It’s dumb.”

Barney shook his head.

“No, I like it.”

A new song started to fade in on the radio. The slow and rhythmic notes were hardly masked by the crackling static, and Barney soon recognized it as “Cry to Me”, by Solomon Burke. A song he always classified as cheesy as a kid.

Listening to the slow beat of the song, an idea popped into Barney’s head. 

Maybe he was caught up in the romanticism of the scenery, the stars shining in the sky and Adrian against a galaxy of lights, or maybe it was the deliriousness after a day of suffering, or even an effort to cheer Adrian up, but he shifted, pulling himself to his feet.

Barney looked back to see Adrian, quirking an eyebrow. Barney held out his hand.

“Dance with me.”

“What?” Adrian looked surprised, a confused smile on his face.

“Dance with me,” Barney repeated for emphasis, “Please?”

Adrian hesitated, just staring up at him for a moment. Then, he slid his gloved hand into Barney’s grip, and Barney grinned. He pulled Adrian to his feet, who squeaked in surprise as he swept him into a clumsy sway, back and forth across the ground. 

“You should know I can’t daAA—!” Adrian yelped as Barney spun him, laughing, and he stumbled back into Barney with a vice grip on his hand.

Barney started to hum along as he dragged Adrian along, who whined like a puppy.

“Barney!”

“Just move along with it, here,” he moved his hands to Adrian’s waist, shyness suddenly gone in the familiarity of something like dance, “like this. When I step forward, you step backwards. Move your hips like this.”

Adrian looked distracted, but he followed suit, beginning to move in rhythm with Barney. His steps were unsure, and he was staring nervously at his feet, looking tense.

“Hey, look up at me.” Barney took a hand off his waist to gently tilt Adrian’s face upward, so that they were looking directly at each other.

He reached out and held Adrian’s hand up with his, and Adrian interlaced their fingers as they moved, confidence building in his brown eyes as they stayed unwaveringly on Barney’s. There was starlight reflected in them, millions of tiny lights sparkling in the dark, and it snatched Barney’s breath away.

Adrian started to laugh, as they spun and shuffled across the cliffside, and Barney just watched him, caught up in awe, cheeks flushed and legs wobbly and heart pounding as he melted into the moment and the air of the scene.

Barney knew. It was something he already knew, but now he knew it like he knew air and water and he knew the back of his own hand.

He had fallen in love, and for once, it didn’t scare him.

As Adrian stumbled in from another spin, he stopped, crooked smile still on his face as he noticed Barney’s pause. Barney wanted to kiss him.

The music was still playing in the background, and they just stood still for a moment, hands interlaced, Barney holding onto Adrian’s waist. Then, Barney opened his mouth to ask, but only air came out.

Their faces were so close, and he could feel Adrian’s warm breath on his face as he swallowed, struggling to make a sound. Knots twisted in his stomach, and when he finally spoke, it came out as almost a whisper, tugged to the surface like a weighty pail of water up a well. The words spilled out.

“Can I…—” 

Then, Adrian’s lips were on his, lightly, then all at once hungry and warm and sweet as gentle hands tangled in his hair. Barney hardly had time to close his eyes, before it felt like time stopped and everything else dropped away. Barney was never one for dramatics, but it was like every single moment, every minute over these last days had been building to this moment, as he leaned in and kissed back, desperately, like he was water to parched lips. 

When they broke apart, breathing hard, it was too much to be away, and they both leaned back in, crashing back into each other with the force and passion that only two men who have looked death in the face together an innumerable amount of times can muster. 

Barney vaguely felt himself fall to his knees, Adrian pulling away to plant burning, tingling kisses along his lower jaw, down onto his neck. He smoothed his hands down and gripped the back of Adrian’s shirt, feeling overstimulated and understimulated all at once. So he reached down and lifted Adrian’s head again, both men flushed and disheveled in the gentle moonlight. Barney leaned in, softer, slower this time.

And then he kissed him. And he loved him. Oh god, he loved him.  

Chapter Text

Adrian rested his face in the crook of Barney’s collarbone, breathing in the faint scent of smoke, antiseptic wipes, and sweat. His arms were wrapped around the man’s shoulders, his chest swelling with contentment.

Jazzy tunes still played quietly in the background, and the moon hung low in the sky as Barney and Adrian just held onto each other, peaceful in the other's company.

Looking up to stare at Barney’s soft jawline, the scattered stubble and messy hair that was so achingly familiar, it was a wonder he hadn’t known him his entire life. The man’s hazel eyes were fixed on the horizon, arms wrapped tenderly around Adrian’s torso. The breeze was gently blowing his hair, disobedient black strands straying into his face. Adrian reached up and gently tucked them back behind his ear, and Barney looked down, slightly surprised.

“Your stubble is growing out.” Adrian said, leaning back in Barney’s lap.

“ Your stubble is growing out.” Barney laughed, and Adrian stuck his head back against the crook of his neck.

“And your hair is messy.”

The two hadn’t gone very far earlier, but far enough that Barney’s shirt was unbuttoned again and Adrian could press his cheek into the warm, bare skin there. He felt Barney sigh with the soft fall of his chest, then he nudged Adrian with two fingers.

“Come on, we’d better get moving.” 

Adrian groaned and slumped onto Barney even more heavily, even though he knew he was right. Barney lightly tried to push him off, then slightly harder, then harder as he struggled to get up.

“Get off, you big lug!” Barney growled, humor in every tone as he rolled Adrian off of him, who flopped dramatically onto the ground just to be annoying.

He heard Barney snicker behind him, and Adrian smiled, getting what he was going for. He let out a labored sigh, then he hopped to his feet, walking over to put his dirty gear back on. When Adrian went to tuck his dog tags back into his shirt, he paused while holding them, staring as he suddenly had a grim reminder of Bailey and Kelly, and of what had gone down earlier that night…

He swallowed the bitter taste of betrayal and roughly tucked the chain back into his collar. There was no use dwelling on it now. He walked over and leaned against the wall to wait for Barney, just staring unhelpfully at him while he dressed. 

Barney looked back as he buckled up, shaking his head.

“Oh, forget you.” He let out an amused scoff.

“What? I’m just admiring the view.”

“You dog.” Barney smirked, as Adrian walked over and kissed him lightly on his mouth. Then again, and again, and again and again and—

“Stopstop—“ Barney was laughing desperately as he half heartedly swatted Adrian away, “Stop, we— we need to keep moving!”

“I need to make up for lost time.” Adrian whined, planting one more kiss on Barney before he allowed himself to be gently pried off.

“How much, a day? Come on, come on.” Barney rolled his eyes affectionately, and, grabbing his weapons, he set off along the cliffside.

Adrian hastily grabbed his own and hurried after Barney, who strolled almost nonchalantly, and Adrian rushed to walk beside him. 

Michelle would never believe what had happened to him over the last few days; he made a mental note to bring Barney to come meet her, once he tracked her down.

Adrian idly fished his gas mask from where it was strapped onto his backpack, taking a once over of it as they walked. The right goggle lens was cracked open, bullet scar scratching across the surface where it had been nicked. The mask had probably saved his life— but it was useless for filtering out chemicals now.

Still, he pulled back the straps and slid it on, if only for the sense of security it gave him. He buckled his helmet on top, pushing invasive thoughts of traitors out of his mind.

They two walked along the paved cliffside, framed starkly against the orange stone and dark rock as they passed. After only about five minutes of walking, a large gray building began to come into view; their ticket back inside.

“I guess it’s time to head back in?” Adrian asked, looking at Barney.

His companion nodded in agreement, a concoction of complex emotions on his face. Adrian knew he was being stupid but, he couldn’t help wondering; what would happen when he reunited with Gordon? Would he… forget about Adrian? 

Compared to the time he’d assumedly spent with Gordon, his relationship with Barney must seem so small. What if Gordon was more handsome than him? No, he was just some scientist. Probably a dork. But what if—

Whoa. Adrian had never been insecure about a relationship before, but he guessed after all they’d been through, the idea of losing Barney was… hard to take. Even if it was to someone he loved.

Adrian suddenly felt gentle fingers prod at his own as Barney took him by the hand and interlaced their fingers. Adrian relaxed, leaning into the touch, and Barney brought their entangled hands to his lips and brushed a light kiss across Adrian’s knuckles. Adrian’s heart rate picked up, feeling the skin begin to tingle where the kiss was planted. It was like he was a mind reader. 

It was going to be okay. They weren’t going to lose each other. 

As they approached the building, the moon began to dip below the horizon, staining just the smallest sliver of sky a deep, vivid scarlet. It reflected, bright in Barney’s hazel eyes, as he stared wistfully out into the horizon. Adrian couldn’t tear his eyes away— he was beautiful.

“Huh. Red sky in the morning…”

“What’s that mean anyway?” Adrian asked, more to fill up silence than anything.

Barney looked at him, awkwardness in his posture.

“Oh, uh, my dad was a sailor. He told me that a red sky in the morning means a storm is brewing on the horizon.” Barney told him, gaze turning back to the scarlet sunrise, “‘Red sky in the morning, sailors take warning.’”

“Creepy. Well good thing we’re heading inside, I guess.” Adrian shrugged, “C’mon.”

Take warning, he thought, and despite his nonchalance, Adrian couldn’t take his eyes off that deep, vivid, stained streak of red.

-

Approaching the garage, corpses of HECU marines began to appear on the ground, scattered and leading into the large metal doors. It wasn’t an uncommon sight, but Adrian couldn’t help seeing his squad mates in every body they passed, always ignoring the alarm bells that rang in his head. Always resisting the urge to stop, kneel and check. 

This was unusual though. Usually with dead HECU soldiers, there would be alien corpses lying close by, green-yellow blood pooling with red to create a disturbing, mismatched sludge of carnage. But here, there was only red, and only humans. 

“The wounds look like bullet holes, don’t they?” Barney spoke from behind him, sounding wary.

Upon closer inspection, Adrian realized Barney was right. There were bullet holes riddled across the soldiers’ bodies, no sign of alien manglement.

“Stay on your guard, there’s something not right here.” Adrian said, drawing his SMG.

“Do you think they mighta’ been more traitors? Working for the same people as whoever… Well…” Barney started saying, trailing off as they entered the dim parking garage.

“The same people Kelly and Bailey were working for?” Adrian scowled, and there was bitterness that slipped into his voice, “Maybe.”

Adrian really hadn’t thought about, or rather hadn’t wanted to think about why they did what they did. Surely they had been bought off by someone-- judging by the fact that Adrian could not make out their forms properly that night, he could assume the snipers were wearing black, instead of the usual greens and greys that the marines wore.

Who else would be killing all these people?

Adrian was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of quiet, fast footsteps behind him. He whipped around right in time to see Barney, quick as a flash, get dragged into a chokehold, and his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. There was a slim figure, dressed head to toe in form fitting black, face completely covered by cloth and a pair of red goggles, and it felt as if a lightbulb went on in Adrian’s head. A Black Ops assassin.

He felt a swift kick at his side, and he dropped his gun, growling in pain and turning to see another Operative, gun in hand. Quickly grabbing them by their leg, he pushed his body weight into yanking them down onto the floor. 

There was a high pitched yelp as they tumbled to the floor, and Adrian barely dodged as they took aim and fired at him, their silencer turning the noise into one that sounded almost alien. He kicked the gun out of their hand and lunged at them as they began to pick themselves off the floor. 

Breathing hard, he threw a punch at them; in a flash, they moved their head out of the way, slid out from under him and, propelling themselves off the floor like a fucking gymnast, they turned and delivered a roundhouse kick, hitting him straight in the jaw in an explosion of pain. He hissed, vision going blurry as he stumbled backward and shut his eyes, bringing his arms up to block another hard blow.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw the Black Op making for the gun they had dropped, and Adrian shook his head, launching himself towards them and knocking them over and onto the hood of a nearby car, denting the metal as he forcefully pinned them down, taking out a pistol of his own.

“Hey soldier, you’re impressive.” A woman’s voice came from behind the mask, breathless fear being masked by a false attempt at an alluring tone, “W-Why don’t we--”

“Maybe in another life, babe.” He raised the butt of the gun to knock her out, but then he saw her dart her hand down and whip out a second pistol, bringing it up to aim at his face and-- he shot her in the head.

Her head dropped immediately onto the dented metal with a thunk, and blood streaked behind her as she slid off the car onto the ground, staining the concrete with red. Adrian let out a shuddering sigh, before quickly pushing himself to his feet and scanning the room for Barney. 

Adrian’s ears rang as he heard unsilenced gunshots, and whipped around to see Barney firing quickly at the other Black Op. As Adrian immediately made a mad dash to help him, he saw the Black Op cartwheel toward Barney and jump onto him, wrapping their thighs around Barney’s throat.

Adrian yanked up his pistol and frantically fired into the back of their neck right as they went to twist their hips, going in for the kill. The Black Op froze, blood gurgling in their throat, then they limply slid off Barney’s shoulders. Barney fell backwards with them, then quickly pushed himself to his hands and knees, gasping for air. 

Adrian’s hand shook, and though he knew he should be focusing on the dangerous situation in front of them, he grabbed his SMG back and rushed over to Barney’s side, kneeling next to him.

“Jesus, are you okay?”

“Adrian I’m… I’m fine just… I think I hear more of them.” Barney breathed, gesturing to stand back up.

Adrian’s eyes lingered on Barney, but he stood again, straining to listen for more Black Ops echoing in the dark parking garage. He heard them. Footsteps, ten o’clock. He whipped around and fired twice through the driver’s seat window of a red car, sending glass pelting backward as they exploded with the force. When he heard a hiss of pain from across the way, he shoved his pistol back in its holster and raised his SMG, standing in front of Barney protectively as he recovered.

Adrian reloaded his SMG right as two Black Ops jumped out from behind the red car. He couldn’t tell which one had been hit, with the black clothing masking any blood that could otherwise be spotted. One leapt and cartwheeled across the lot, positioning themselves so that they would be behind Adrian. He fired rapidly with his SMG, but missed them, just narrowly.

How the hell was he going to do this? He rolled out of the way as the Black Op in front of him began to fire at him, hitting the floor roughly. Adrian leapt back to his feet, sucking in gasping breaths through his mask as he raised his SMG to return fire. Adrian suddenly felt a warm back press against his, and he flinched forward in time; he was about to spare a brief glance backwards when he heard Barney’s voice.

“Focus on your side!” 

Focus on my side. Adrian understood, following orders as he raised his gun and fixed his eyes on the Black Op, watching them propel themselves skillfully across the ground. Zeroing in on the slender, dark form, when he saw them begin to reach for their tactical belt Shephard immediately held the trigger, taking the operative by surprise as they toppled sideways.

“Shit! Grenade!” Adrian heard Barney yell behind him, and he was yanked by the elbow as Barney and him ran and dove right.

Adrian rolled as he hit the ground, sweat starting to streak down his face as he heard the grenade go off in a loud, popping explosion. Still, he didn’t take his eyes off the Black Op in front of him, and he watched them as they got off the floor and started to limp, trying to flee.

Adrian pulled himself to one knee, hoisted up his gun and… hesitated, finger on the trigger. They’re no civilian. It’s them or us, Adrian thought. 

It’s them or us. He pulled down and, gun rattling with force, the Black Op fell to the floor, limp.

Adrian was suddenly knocked forward as he felt as he was forcefully shoved, Barney toppling on top of him. Adrian already knew what was happening before he turned, but upon whirling around to slam his fist into the Black Op’s head, he heard an unmuffled, deafening gunshot, and the Black Op leapt backwards off of Barney, staggering to the floor.

Barney pulled himself to his feet immediately, walking over to the operative and shooting them in the head without pause. He kicked their gun away and turned back to Adrian, red faced and sweaty. Adrian breathed out a long sigh, and he made his way to Barney, resting his head on his shoulder.

“God Barney. I don’t think I’ll ever get fucking used to killing people.” Adrian gritted his teeth.

“It’s been a long few days, Adrian.” Barney said, sounding almost numb, almost sad.

Chapter Text

Barney didn’t have the chance to hesitate. When there were dozens of marines on top of him, when he had scientists he was charged with protecting, their life before his, he didn’t have the time to consider whether he had to kill them. He just did it.

Barney didn’t even realize he had it in himself to kill people, not really. Sure he’d been a true crime buff for a time, and he’d been trained just in case of emergency (Barney thought this was the definition of an emergency). But it had never become enjoyable to him, and he hadn’t even become good at it, persey. He just did it. Because he had to. And his hands couldn’t be stained with more blood when his body was already entirely covered in it.

He raised a hand and gripped the back of Adrian’s shirt, and they stood in silence for a few moments. Barney would have time to grieve for who he used to be later, if they came out of this alive. When they came out of this alive. 

Adrian pulled away, one tired dark brown eye visible through the cracked lens of his goggles, then he nodded to continue onwards. As Barney watched him walk ahead, he remembered how it was with Rosenberg and Simmons and the rest— their life before his. This time, he had someone with him who he knew would throw his life down for Barney in a heartbeat.

That wouldn’t happen, not under his watch. 

When Barney caught up with Adrian, he was standing in front of a white SUV, looking up and into the vents. He seemed to be concentrating on something.

“What are you doing?” Barney asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“I think I hear breathing up above.” Adrian mumbled, then turned and started to climb on top of the car, “I’m going up.”

As Adrian hoisted himself onto the hood, Barney scrambled to follow, frowning.

“Why is going up your first instinct?” He complained, as Adrian climbed up a fallen vent panel and disappeared from sight.

Then, he heard a panicked and familiar voice from up above, and his eyes widened in surprise. No. It couldn’t be.

“N-N-Now don’t hurt me and I’ll tell you a secret!”

When Barney pulled himself up, he saw Adrian, crouching in the small space, speaking to one Otis Laurey, who was sitting, hands up in the air in the corner. Barney couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Calhoun?” Otis said, spotting Barney as he climbed into the vent, “You’re with them? Oh, I’m so confused…”

“Otis? You survived?” Barney gaped.

“Oh yeah, I was hiding out in the parking garage entrance area, I managed to figure out the right angle on these vending machines to get the snacks, so I could survive awhile I figured. The cookies are especially good by the way—”

“Otis.” Barney cut him off, and Otis looked over at Adrian, still holding his SMG.

“O-O-Oh right,” Otis stammered, then looked between them both, “okay, I’ve been hidin’ up here, listening. These ‘Black Ops’ have some sort of bomb! I think they’re planning on blowin’ up the base…”

Barney thought that was the most straightforward he’d ever been.

“Now wh-why do you think they would do such a thing?” Otis added, shaking his head as he looked down.

“A bomb?” Adrian spoke up next to him, going down on one knee, “How big are we talking?”

“From what I hear, it’s gigantic you see? Enough to nuke the whole facility!” Otis said, miming a giant explosion.

Barney’s mind was blank as he began to process what Otis was saying; a bomb, no, a nuke. Even without Gordon, would they even have time to escape the facility before it came crumbling down? Barney felt a cold weight of dread in his stomach. Adrian punched the floor, rattling the metal beneath them as he let out a hiss of anger.

“Damn it, I knew something like this would happen.” Adrian muttered darkly, then he raised his head to look at Otis, who flinched backward, “Listen, how long ago was this? Do you know where they went?” 

“Y-You’re not gonna hurt me, right I-- Calhoun what is this anyhow? You and him?” Otis looked at Barney, confusion in his eyes. 

“It’s… complicated. He’s not a bad guy, though. Otis, we’re in a bit of a hurry, so just tell Adrian what he needs to know.”

“First name basis, oh jeez.” Otis commented.

“Otis.”

“Right, they uh, they went left, just about twenty minutes ago, you just missed em’. You’ll wanna take the vents, there are a heck of a lot of ‘em down there”

“Thank you, uh, Otis.” Adrian said awkwardly, dipping his head as he began to turn away.

Something still pressed at Barney’s mind.

“Otis, I have one more thing to ask you before we get out of your hair,” Barney looked Otis in the eyes, “Have you seen Dr. Freeman go by?”

“Dr. Freeman? No, I can’t say I have, sorry Calhoun.”

Barney couldn’t mask his disappointment, nor his fear as he heard the news. No confirmation then. Damn it. 

“It was a long shot anyways. Otis, once we get this bomb situation handled, we’re heading back into the facility to look for him.” Barney turned to leave, then he looked backwards again, “Uh, stay safe until then.”

“Wait, you’re plannin’ on stopping all this on your own? That’s-- that’s--”

“That’s the plan.” Adrian said, nodding to Barney with his eyebrows raised, and Barney almost felt a smile tug at his lips.

“Just hang tight until then, Otis.” Barney told him, and Otis nodded, looking between the two of them curiously.

“Ok, you too, Calhoun. And good luck, okay? I’ll be counting on you.”

“Roger.”

They made their way over to the mouth of the smaller vent shaft, and Adrian took the lead.

“Alright, we’ll have to stay quiet.” Adrian said as he looked into the vent he crawled into; then he paused, and looked back at Barney with an air of nonchalance, “and you can stare at my ass if you want. Or any other part really, but that’ll have to wait.”

Barney turned red, looking back at Otis, who was whistling and looking around nervously, minding his own business. Then, Barney climbed in, ears burning, willing other parts of him not to do the same. 

“Adrian!” He whispered, willing away sudden flashes of filthy thoughts that rose to mind, and he heard Adrian snicker under his breath.

It was a few more minutes of crawling and Barney desperately trying to ignore the prying, touch-starved thoughts that infiltrated his thoughts when he was supposed to be focusing on what they were doing, when Adrian came to a stop, and Barney nearly bowled right into him. He saw Adrian lean down and look through the grate, expression serious.

“Found ‘em.” He whispered, and Barney leaned forward, ducking under Shephard as he maneuvered so that Barney could see. 

“Hey, be careful with that thing!” Barney heard one say loudly, and he peeked down the grate.

There was a pair of Black Ops in a truck, stopped in front of a large metal door. One of them stood watch in the back, holding a large gun, while one was crouched in the bed of the truck. Sure enough, in the box in front of him there was a large, cone shaped bomb. It was nearly the size of a person, lid off, exposing the wires, switches and large, white button that sat on its inside.

Adrian made a quiet, displeased noise next to him, and Barney looked up.

“What?” He whispered.

“I don’t know how to disarm bombs. I had a friend in the EOD but…” Adrian shook his head, expression hardening, “I can do it. I will…”

He trailed off, then turned to Barney, his eyebrows raised.

“Wait a minute… Barney, do you have--”

“On three.”

Barney cut him off, too embarrassed to possibly continue as he pointedly ignored the heat that had pooled in his stomach. He drew his shotgun, not able to look at Adrian as his ears burned.

“Okay, we won’t talk about it. One… Two…”

“Three!” Barney yelled, and Adrian kicked open the grate as they both jumped down.

The Black Op had no time to react as Barney raised his shotgun and slammed it roughly into his head, and he fell against the side of the truck with an ugly crack!

He looked over in time to see Adrian flip the other over his head, and they hit the ground hard as he delivered a swift kick to their head, knocking them out instantly. Then, he ran over and knelt next to the bomb, which was now emitting a loud beeping sound. Barney’s heart pounded, adrenaline in his veins as he turned his back to Adrian, keeping watch.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit.” Barney heard Adrian start to say behind him, and Barney looked back momentarily to watch as he fiddled with the wires.

Then, Adrian froze, and his shoulders slumped as he went silent. Barney’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.

“What is it?” Barney asked, concern dominating every tone.

Adrian was still for another few moments, then he heard a click, and the high pitched beeping stopped. Adrian turned around, a harrowed look in his eyes.

“There was an off switch.” 

Barney blinked, then quietly walked over to peer into the bomb as well. Sure enough, there it was. ON, OFF. Barney couldn’t help it, he barked out a loud laugh of relief, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What the hell?”

Their startled relief was cut short as Barney heard a bullet ricochet loudly off the wall next to him, and turned to see a small hole in the concrete just across from him. He snapped his head in the direction it had come from and saw another Black Ops assassin, right as they disappeared from view. 

Out of the corner of his vision, he saw Adrian bend over and pick up a large machine gun off one of the downed Black Ops, hefting it upwards as an assassin jumped out of cover and charged. He hoisted it up and pulled down the trigger, and suddenly bullet shells were flying everywhere, clinking loudly on the floor as the machine gun rattled and shook, lighting up the vicinity in bright light as it flashed with a strobe-like quality.

The assassin fell backward, dead, and when another jumped out of cover to attack they were mowed down, too. As the gun slowed down, Barney looked over at Adrian with wide eyes. Adrian looked back, same shaken expression on his face.

“Holy shit.” He panted, letting the gun slump down in his grip.

Then, they heard a loud, unnatural roar echo through the parking lot, sending a chill through Barney’s body. He’d heard that sound before. It was the alien from the tunnels, the one he’d only seen lit up briefly in flashing purple hues. He exchanged another look with Adrian, and saw fear, but also determination in his eyes.

It was just thing after god damn thing, wasn’t it?

Barney walked over to the corpse he had grabbed the gun from, then reached into its tactical belt, pulling another two ammo boxes. He walked over to Adrian and opened one of his pockets on Adrian’s own belt, tucking them inside, and grabbed the SMG off Adrian’s back before looking up at Adrian. 

“Let’s fuck it up.”

Adrian paused, then had a smile in his eyes as he nodded, determination steeling in his expression.

They ran in the direction they had heard the roar come from, then they both ducked behind columns opposite eachother. The parking lot was empty, except for a few government cars and crates. There was an office on the other side of the lot, where a fellow security guard stood, staring out of the door’s window with a wide-eyed expression. 

Barney raised his eyebrows at him, before snapping his head away as he heard the pounding of the thing’s footsteps, and the deafening crackling of lightning, it’s volume amplified in the echoey emptiness of the parking garage. It got closer, closer, closer… Then—

Barney snatched a grenade off his belt and pulled the pin as he and Adrian jumped out from behind the column in unison. Barney chucked the grenade right as the creature came into view— it was big, the details as ugly as he had filled in in his mind that time in the dark. Not missing a beat, Adrian pulled down on his trigger and began to fire powerfully into the creature, kickback making his arms rattle as the continuous fire shot bullet after bullet into the alien, who roared in pain. The grenade exploded then, and the creature stumbled backwards with a hiss.

Head dipped, Barney saw it start to summon up that same purple lightning, and he felt the air crackle as it turned and aimed directly at him. His heart leapt out of his chest, and, running on adrenaline, he dove out of cover right as the beam hit the concrete column he was hiding behind, obliterating it.

He stared back in horror, seeing the same expression on Adrian’s face as he turned away to check on Barney. Some relief seeped back into Adrian’s features as he saw Barney safe, but Barney could see the creature turning, tail swinging in a wide arc as it whipped around viciously. Before Barney could warn him, Adrian turned in time to see the creature as it struck him with its tail, sweeping him off his feet and sending him flying, and he rolled onto the ground roughly, dropping his gun.

Barney felt a surge of rage, and he pulled himself to his feet. He raised the SMG he had taken from Adrian, then pulled the secondary trigger, launching a grenade into the back of the beast. The grenade exploded on impact, and the alien staggered to the side as green fluid sprayed from the wound, its howling and hissing in chilling and unfamiliar tones like nails on a chalkboard. Then, its entire body began to throb and expand, in a disturbingly familiar fashion.

“Adrian!” Barney yelled, ceasing his fire as he made a mad dash towards his companion, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him backwards, taking refuge behind a nearby column.

The alien exploded in a hot and steaming spray of green insides and purple lightning, the stench just as nostril-stinging as he remembered it being as he willed down a wave of nausea. Barney looked down at Adrian, gulping down the putrid air.

“You… okay?” He asked, and as the green liquid around them began to sizzle and evaporate, Adrian looked up.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good,” Adrian said, rolling his shoulder and wincing in pain, “I think I have a bit of a bruise on my arm but, I’ll be fine.”

Adrian leaned to the side and peered out from behind the column, pulling himself to one knee.

“Is it dead..?” He asked, “Because I think I want that gun back. I’m nearly out of ammo on that SMG, and on my pistol.”

The last of the green blood hissed and steamed out of existence, revealing the gun abandoned on the floor a few feet away. Adrian and Barney walked over, and Adrian leaned down to heft it upwards again. 

“Eugh. But at least she’s safe and sound.”

The two suddenly heard the sound of muffled shouting from behind them, and they turned around to see the security guard that Barney had made eye contact with earlier, face pressed up against the window. It was only then that Barney recognized him as Bobby Cassello, the man who had the locker next to his back in security headquarters.

“Calhoun! Is that you?” He heard Bobby shout, and Barney rushed over, looking through the window at him.

“Yeah, it’s me! Shit Cassello, you’re one lucky bastard to be alive right now!”

“Barney, I wanna let you in, but first I need to know who the hell your buddy is.” Bobby told him, giving Adrian a side eye as he approached.

Barney sighed, wishing Adrian could just change out of his HECU uniform somehow.

“This is Adrian Shephard, he was an HECU marine, and he’s not going to hurt you. I’ve been with him for the last day or two, and you can trust him, Cassello.” Barney said, and gestured to Adrian, who looked over blankly in response.

Bobby paused for a moment, then slowly nodded.

“Okay… Okay, I’m gonna let you in now. I should remember I saw you disarm that bomb.” He said, stepping back from the window and walking over to pull a lever on the other side of the door.

The metal door slid open, and Bobby stepped aside to let them in. 

“You can grab some stuff from the supply closet over there, but I’m gonna warn you, it’s not gonna be easy from here on out,” Bobby told them, leaning against the wall, “The only way out is through the Level 4 Storage Unit, but it’s a mess down there. The Black Ops were using it as a staging point until the aliens came in.”

“Thanks Cassello, seriously,” Barney said with a smile, “You’ve done us a real solid.”

“Yeah, I’m just glad to see your ass still alive, Calhoun.” Bobby smiled back, then nodded at the supply closet, just to their right, “I actually have Dr. Yang here with me too. He’s one of the scientists, got stuck here with me, poor bastard. Oh here I am rambling, here, stock up and I’ll go check on him.”

“Wait, Cassello, before you go, I actually have something to ask,” Barney thought he might as well try, even after he had no luck with Otis previously, “Have you seen Dr. Freeman by any chance? Heard anything about him?”

To Barney’s shock, Bobby’s eyes actually lit up with recognition.

“Dr. Freeman? I actually have,” Bobby said, and Barney’s heart picked up, “Last I heard, he’s been raising hell out there, all on his own, it’s incredible. Just arrived at the Lambda Lab a few hours ago, actually, they were still tracking his HEV suit the last time I talked to headquarters.”

Barney laughed in disbelief, and at that moment, he felt like he could kiss Bobby. Gordon had made it to the Lambda Lab. He was alive.

“I know you and Dr. Freeman are pretty close, so I’m glad to be the bearer of good news, I suppose.” Bobby chuckled, and Barney settled for a hug as he leaned forward and pulled Cossello into an embrace.

“God Cossello, thank you. I’ve been…That’s all I need to know, thank you.” Barney pulled away, chest lighter than it had been in over 72 hours.

“Okay man, just tell me if you need anything.” Bobby looked a little frazzled, ducking his head awkwardly as Barney pulled away.

Bobby patted Barney on the shoulder with a smile, gave one last look at Barney and Adrian, then walked around the corner and out of sight. Gordon was alive. He grinned to himself, turning to see Adrian, who had lodged himself in the corner, machine gun leaning against the wall. He didn’t look nearly as thrilled, but his eyes carried jealousy masked by a smile, attempting to be happy for him.

He stared at Adrian. He was so cocky earlier, so sheepish now, all tucked in the corner. He remembered what Adrian said earlier, and, in his temporary high, he had an idea.

“It’s good to know he’s still kicking.” Adrian said, shrugging as he straightened up and headed toward the supply closet, “We should probably check this ah—“

In a bold move, Barney suddenly strode forward until he was just a step away from trapping Adrian against the wall in his closeness. 

“Adrian, I wanted to know,” Barney asked him under his breath, looking into his eyes, “Did you mean what you said earlier?”

“What?” Adrian asked, confused, but now starting to rake his gaze down Barney as he leaned in closer.

“Did you mean what you said earlier? Any part I want..?” Barney repeated quietly, and there was a silent, heated understanding in Adrian’s eyes as they flicked back up to meet his.

Adrian paused. Then, he gave a small, almost mischievous smile, tilting his chin upwards a bit.

“Wanna find out?” 

Then, he reached a hand up and unbuckled his helmet, tossing it aside. He pulled off his mask, revealing an expression that was dripping with want, amusement and, residual jealousy, as he reached behind his own back for the door. He grabbed one of Barney’s hands and put it on his chest, looking at him through his lashes.

“It’s not an art gallery— you are allowed to touch.” 

Adrian pushed the door open behind them, and, stumbling in, Barney leaned in and crashed his lips hard into Adrian’s in an overwhelm of senses and heat and pent up desire. He kicked the door closed behind them, and felt strong hands unclasp his helmet and tangle themselves in his hair, helmet falling to the floor as he walked Adrian backwards and into a shelf behind themselves. Adrian reached his hands back and clung on helplessly to the shelves as he devoured, and was devoured.

Barney barely had time to gasp for air between smothering, all encompassing kisses, and he gasped into Adrian’s mouth as he felt a leg raise up and grind between his own. He’d had his share of workplace trysts with women around Black Mesa, but of course, like everything with Adrian, this felt completely different, knowing it was with him. 

Knowing he couldn’t pick up Adrian like he usually could others, he gently pushed him to his knees, immediately kneeling to his level and falling into him once again, teeth clacking with Adrian’s as he kissed and kissed and kissed him.

Soon, Adrian was on his back, and Barney was planting kisses on his neck that were all at once gentle and rough and sultry and sweet, and he heard Adrian let out soft whines, spurring him on. With shaking hands, he reached down and pulled Adrian’s tactical vest off, revealing that form fitting shirt again, muscles showing just beneath it through the thin fabric. 

He pulled it up, the sight of his athletic body and scarred skin taking what little was left of his breath away. He leaned down and continued to plant kisses on sensitive skin, wanting to have him, needing him all for himself. He felt Adrian’s hands on his hips, pushing him downwards onto straining fabric as he straddled him, and—

The door opened behind them.

“Jesus Christ.” 

The door closed again.

Barney’s head whipped around, broken out of his haze as he heard Bobby’s voice. Adrian groaned and covered his flushed face with his hands, dropping his head to the floor.

“Talk about a mood killer.” Adrian’s voice was out of breath, husky and somewhat strangled as he spoke, which would’ve spurred Barney on to lean down and continue if Bobby hadn’t interrupted.

He hesitantly lifted his leg back over and got up, straightening out his clothing and clearing his throat, face on fire as he combed through his hair with his fingers.

“Yeah, sorry.” Barney managed to choke out, not exactly sure what he was apologizing for.

Adrian just laid there for a few moments, then sighed and got up.

“I am going to be very uncomfortable for the next half hour, and it’s all your fault.” He told Barney, but along with frustration, there was also humor in his face, and he leaned in for one more kiss.

It was passionate, warm and relaxed on his mouth, and there was nothing Barney wanted to do more than push him back to the floor again and pick up where they left off. Then, the sensation was gone as Adrian pulled away, pulling down his shirt and moving to pick up his vest. He buckled it on, grabbed his mask off the floor and began to slide it back on.

“Maybe we should actually grab some equipment. While we’re here.” Adrian said, crooked smile tugging at his lips, as he tugged down the bottom half of his mask.

The situation that used to be his worst fear had just happened, and yet, Barney laughed, at how ridiculous it was, and at how he’d have to explain to Bobby later. He wasn’t afraid anymore, and he knew exactly why.

This had been the worst few days of his life, and yet… And yet, he wouldn’t trade it, or Adrian, not even for a normal life, not for that date with Lauren or time with Gordon and not for the entire world. And he knew exactly why.

Chapter Text

“Hey, what do you think about coming back to Texas?” Barney suddenly spoke up as Adrian strapped on the last of his equipment, “With me, I mean. To visit.”

He swore under his breath, as if chastising himself for perceived awkwardness, and Adrian felt a surge of warmth in his chest.

“So I’ll get to meet this famous mother of yours?” Adrian asked, and his smile was practically sparkling as he spoke.

“Well, yeah,” Barney smiled back, perking up when Adrian reacted positively, “Aaand my dad’s not too bad either, if he’s home. I can show you around.”

“Meeting the parents? Coming home with you?” Adrian tapped his chin, “Careful, it’s almost like we’re engaged.” 

Barney laughed, and Adrian laughed along. Then, they just stared at each other, smiling softly, for the first time thinking about a future together; Adrian couldn’t believe he would’ve lived his entire life without knowing Barney if all this, whatever this was, hadn’t happened. He released a breath— he didn’t even realize he was holding it.

“If Michelle can come along,” Adrian moved forward and gently placed his hands on Barney’s waist, bringing their heads, or helmets together with a clank , “Of course.”

“It’ll be nice to meet her.” Barney said softly.

“It really won’t.” Adrian whispered, and they both began to laugh again.

-

When Barney and Adrian emerged, Barney had changed from his torn, grungy clothes and vest into a fresh uniform. 

There was only one spare uniform, so Adrian didn’t change. He was still stuck in his own raggedy clothes which made his skin crawl, and had Adrian certain it would at some point give him a rash. He was now stocked up on ammo, however, and in possession of a missile launcher. It was strapped heavily to his back along with the rest of his small arsenal that he’d acquired.

Barney had expressed excitement upon finding it, saying that he had lost his own in the resonance displacement he’d been caught in. Adrian had no idea what a resonance displacement was, or why Black Mesa had more than one missile launcher laying around, but they had moved on before he got the chance to ask.

Cassello shuffled out awkwardly from around the corner, eyebrows fully raised. 

“You know what, Calhoun?” He said, then sighed, running a hand over his face, “I don’t care if you’re a gay. Just, in the supply closet? Really?“

“Well, we came out of it, didn’t we?” Adrian said matter-of-factly, then cracked a smile.

“Damn, I’m never gonna hang out in that room again.” Cassello sighed, as an older man emerged from around the corner, dressed in a lab coat.

Bobby turned and gestured toward him.

“This is Dr. Yang, by the way. Huan, this is Calhoun, and his… friend.”

Dr. Yang took a look at both of them and nodded.

“Good to meet you. I can see you’ve both stocked up then?” The man had a slight Chinese accent, but spoke perfect English.

“Yeah, is the way down?” Adrian asked, and Yang nodded, gesturing for them to follow.

“I was actually wondering if either of you would be willing to bring a new experiment into the field. It’s been tested repeatedly, and I brought one of the prototypes with me in case we risked losing it.” Yang said, a slight edge in his voice as he led them into a room filled with boxes, a lift built into the ground in the corner, “Or if I ended up… needing it.”

Adrian was curious what exactly Yang had with him, as the tall man made his way over behind one of the crates and appeared to tussle with something on the floor. Adrian stepped forward to help, and Yang held out a hand.

“No, do not come closer— It’s under control.” He squatted, and lifted one more time, “Got it!”

This time when he straightened up, there was a giant, fleshy mass stuck to the end of his arm, its gaping maw mouthing and writhing as it was lifted up. Yang turned to them with a smile, a little out of breath.

“There.” 

“Is that..?” Adrian asked, dumbfounded.

He’d seen these all around the facility, getting caught by one just when he first woken from his crash. Its whip-like tongue had coiled around his leg like a snare, dragging him upwards before he could think. He had to shoot it 4 times with his pistol before it did, and he went tumbling back down to the ground.

But, the scientist just had it on his hand. Barney seemed equally aghast next to him, and Yang held it out proudly.

“It’ll only attach itself to organic matter, but once you know how to use it, it’s a very good way to travel.”

Travel?  

“So it’s like… A grappling hook?” Adrian asked, eyes lighting up as he stared at it.

“A grappling hook! That’s a good comparison.” Yang said, smile still on his face, “We call it a ‘barnacle gun’.”

He heard Cassello make a disgusted noise behind him, and he turned back to see him pulling a face.

“I still don’t like that thing— gives me the creeps.”

Adrian turned back to Yang, then stepped forward. He reached out a tentative hand, then stroked it over the alien’s fleshy form.

It wriggled in response, flexing its maw as Adrian petted it. The skin was strangely smooth, and eerily similar to human skin, except for the parts where it’s flesh hardened, leading down to its mouth. Despite its more disturbing qualities it was… kind of cute.

“Hey buddy.” Adrian chuckled, and it wriggled again in response, “Here, I’ll try it on.”

Yang nodded, and pulled it carefully off his hand, taking Adrian’s arm and holding it up. Adrian looked back briefly, to see Barney staring in horror.

“He wants me to try it!” Adrian shrugged, a small smile on his face.

Barney brought his hand to his mouth and began to chew on his dirty nails nervously, watching Dr. Yang’s movements closely as he placed the alien device on Adrian’s arm.

“I don’t trust it. What if it goes all aggro and tries to eat you?”

“I don’t know, then it’ll go all aggro and try to eat me. It’ll be fine, I’ll just-- woah.” Adrian was cut off when he felt the alien slide on and attach itself to his arm.

He watched, and felt as the barnacle suctioned itself onto his limb and held on, gently pulsing inside the socket. Adrian wasn’t grossed out though, no, he was fascinated.

“Doctor, how do I launch this thing?” He asked, eyes fixed on the alien device.

“You just flex your fist, like this,” Yang made a fist in front of him, as a demonstration, “as I said, though, it does not attach to non-Xen organic material at the moment, so you will have to wait for an opportunity to try it. It seems to like you, though. It didn’t put up any fight.” Dr. Yang watched as Adrian swung it back and forth gently on his arm.

“Didn’t put up a fight? ” Barney asked behind him, mild horror still present in his tone.

It was like he had a new pet. A really, really weird one, but a pet nonetheless. He reached down and gave it a fond scratch on the… top. He wasn’t sure which part of the body it was in barnacle anatomy. It made an odd retching noise in response and Adrian grinned.

“And can I just put it in my backpack? Does it need air?”

“Yes you can put it in your backpack safely, just make sure there are no small things of value sitting next to it. It may eat them.” Yang told him, gesturing at it as Adrian coaxed it off his hand moved to place it gingerly in his pack, button it closed and slide it back onto his shoulders.

“I’ll take good care of it.”

“Use it well!” Dr. Yang offered a kind smile, “Now if you step onto the platform, Cassello and I can lower you down into the Storage Unit.”

That’s the impression     Doctor Yang gave off; kind, but a little eccentric. Adrian regretted having to leave so soon, as he walked over and tugged on Barney’s sleeve as he passed, stepping onto the platform they were referring to. Barney joined him on the lift, but he eyed Adrian’s backpack with suspicion.

“Not an animal person?” Adrian smirked.

“You call that an animal?” 

Cassello and Yang stood by the button, and Cassello saluted them with two fingers, before pressing the lower of two buttons, causing the lift to shift and start to lower into the ground.

“Good luck Calhoun, good luck other guy! Stay alive.” Cassello said, giving them one last smile, before they both disappeared from the edge and out of sight.

Just then, in that moment right before it disappeared out of view, Adrian glanced over at the window of the office, at the car with the nuke. In it, he saw him ; the man in the blue suit, fiddling with the bomb 

— it looked like he was… rearming it . 

As he disappeared from view, the man looked up, as if he knew Adrian was staring, fixing those sharp blues on him once again. He somehow knew, he knew the man had reset the nuke. He told him through those glowing, caring, vicious blue eyes. Then, the top of the lift closed and he was completely gone from Adrian’s view.

Adrian stumbled back. What the fuck was happening? Was he going crazy? Barney looked over at him in confusion and concern. 

“Adrian? You good?”

Adrian looked up at Barney, eyes wide with fear, confusion, frustration, whatever he was feeling. He needed to know who that was, and why they wanted so desperately for his failure that they’d tamper with his life over and over and over again. He needed to tell someone.

“No. Fuck, Barney, I,” Adrian said, biting on his lip, bringing his hand up to his neck and fiddling with the chain on his dog tags, “I need you to listen to me, there’s been this…”

Adrian hesitated, not knowing how to explain this to Barney.

“There’s this. Guy. He’s been following me ever since I was still positioned at base camp. He’s dressed in this blue suit, and he has these eyes… And-and he keeps appearing , and I swear, he’s trying to fucking, sabotage me or something, I don’t…”

He shut his eyes hard, realizing how crazy it all sounded.

“I don’t know how or why he’s here. But I know he’s the one who trapped me here and I think I just saw him reactivate the nuke. No, I’m certain .”

He looked back up at Barney, who looked like he was trying hard to process what Adrian was saying. The elevator slowed to a stop, in the dark storage level of Black Mesa. The only lights were hanging and industrial, illuminating the tall wooden and steel crates that packed the concrete, underground area. In the dim light, Adrian saw Barney shake his head, then he looked up at Adrian, expression serious.

“Then we have to get back up and warn them, deactivate it again.” Barney rushed over to the elevator call buttons. 

Adrian blinked.

“You believe me?” 

“I do. We’ll have to hurry, though.” Barney said, then pressed the higher button on the panel.

Nothing happened. Barney tried it again. Nothing.

“What the hell…” Barney continued to press it, again and again, with a gradation of urgency as he kept pressing.

Adrian wanted to punch something. He knew that it must have been something to do with him. 

“It’s that fucking necktie bastard again, he’s—” 

Adrian was abruptly cut off when he saw a flash of black from the corner of his eye, and a gunshot struck the wall next to him. He leapt at Barney, knocking him to the floor as another gunshot hit directly where he had been standing. 

“Shit.” Adrian pushed himself up and yanked his pistol from its holster, dragging Barney with him behind one of the large crates as he heard more gunfire.

Adrian peeked from around the corner, jerking backwards when a bullet whizzed past his face, splintering the wood on the corner as it narrowly missed him. His heart pounded in his chest as he hung around the corner once again, hoisting up his pistol and firing three shots into the assassin‘s head, and they fell backwards with a sickening thud . 

Adrian swallowed his discomfort and went back into cover, turning to see that Barney had disappeared. He looked around frantically, turning in time to see him crouching behind a different crate, a few feet away. He raised a finger to his lips. Be quiet. Then, he pointed at two more Black Op assassins, guns out just further ahead.

He nodded, and continued to crouch as he approached, keeping as quiet as he could while weighed down with an arsenal of weapons. The assassins kept their backs turned to him, on guard for any hint of movement, and Adrian briefly pondered how to execute this.

Do it quick.

He lunged upward, seizing the assassin by the neck. Before they could react, he took the butt of his gun and swiftly delivered a powerful blow to the assassin’s temple, knocking them clean out. He saw the other Black Op begin to turn, but it was already too late, and Barney seized the assassin in a chokehold. Adrian turned to deliver a blow to his head with the back of his elbow, and they were struck unconscious.

He removed his arm from around the other assassin’s neck, and they dropped limply to the floor. Adrian still was shaken, but more serious, more focused. He tugged Barney with him, through the twisting maze of boxes and crates, too dark to see where you were going in places as the industrial concrete walls reached up into darkness above them. Adrian instinctively brought up his arm to turn on his night vision goggles, briefly surprised when it only lit up one half of his vision, before remembering he had broken a lens earlier.

He scanned the area, his surroundings fully visible through only one eye, and he spotted a short lift leading up to a higher floor. Cassello had said there was a way out through here, was that leading to it? Adrian started towards it, patting Barney’s arm as he moved along.

“Over there!” He whispered to Barney, who nodded, not even needing to look as he followed behind. 

They got to the lift, ducking behind the boxes as they ascended to the second floor. Then, the two dashed out and into hiding once again, under the cover of scattered darkness. Barney and Adrian positioned themselves behind two crates, opposite each other with a path in between. 

Adrian poked his head briefly around the corner, just as a Black Op stationed there happened to turn around, gun drawn. Adrian quickly jerked his head back as he heard light footsteps running towards his hiding spot, and widened his eyes at Barney, who returned his gaze with a determined squint.

Then, just as the Black Op came into view, Barney kicked a leg out and they stumbled forward, giving Adrian the opportunity to lunge and knock them to the ground hard, grabbing them by the head and slamming it into the floor with force. 

Adrian quickly let out a breath and stood, brushing off his hands as he turned right, coming face to face with the barrel of a pistol. Down it, a Black Op. He heard a gunshot, and Adrian squeezed his eyes closed, bracing for whatever would come next. But instead, he heard a heavy thud, and opened his eyes to see the assassin on the floor, clutching their arm and writhing in pain. 

Barney emerged from the shadows, holding his own pistol and pointing it at the Black Op, a cold look in his eyes. Adrian’s heart dropped, and before he could think, he had stepped forward and put out a hand to stop him. Barney’s head snapped up to face Adrian, alarm on his face as he whirled around and stuck the barrel against his forehead, shoving Adrian’s head back, driving him backwards a few steps.

Adrian’s heart jumped, and he froze, feeling the cold metal pressed firmly to his skull, and those now burning hazel eyes on him. In a flash, he remembered Bailey, Kelly, pain blooming in his arm as cold steel connected with flesh. 

But then he remembered a dark haired stranger, bursting through a door. Staring down the nose of a gun and into those hazel eyes for the first time.

He let out a shaky sigh.

“Barney, it’s me.” Adrian said slowly, making eye contact, not letting his fear show.

Barney blinked. Adrian saw the hot alarm and rage start to drain from his eyes, transforming and giving way to pure fear and remorse. Barney’s hand started to tremble, and he heavily dropped his arm to his side.

Adrian looked down— the Black Op had passed out on the floor from blood loss. Adrian exhaled, as he looked up to see Barney bent over, hands braced on his knees. Adrian heard the tremor in his voice, in his breath as he began to gasp for air.

“ ... I don’t know what— I’m not sure—“ He choked out.

Adrian hesitated for a moment, not wanting to make anything worse. Then, he slowly walked over to Barney and knelt in front of him, gingerly sliding his hands over Barney’s. He placed his head gently in Barney’s lap, and he felt the man’s hands shift and grip onto Adrian’s tightly.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I’m so sorry—” Barney rambled, hands shaking violently.

Adrian let go of his hands to wrap his arms around Barney’s legs in an embrace. He shut his eyes, just holding on tight to the man he loved. Just holding on tight.

Chapter Text

I could’ve killed him.

Images of Adrian, dead, blood spilling out onto the ground from a cracked mask as he lay limply on the floor kept burrowing their way into Barney’s head as he struggled to get his breathing under control. Thoughts of cradling Adrian’s bleeding head against his chest as he died in his arms he tried and failed to blink away.

He looked down at Adrian, kneeling in front of him, head pressed heavily into his lap. He took Adrian’s masked face in his hands, gently pulling him away before falling to his knees and dragging him into a tight embrace. He held Adrian like he’d never let go.

That gas mask. For that moment that Barney had a pistol to his head, he was just another HECU, just another Black Op. Just another dead soldier. 

I could’ve killed him.

It was too soon when Adrian pulled away, and Barney saw the visible knit of his eyebrows, the depth of his eyebags, face filled with sadness. Barney hated it.

“We have to keep moving, it’s not safe here.” He told Barney, voice barely more than a whisper.

Adrian put his hand in Barney’s and got to his feet, gently pulling Barney up with him. As Adrian began to turn away and continue on, Barney felt a dragging weight in his chest. 

“I’m sorry.” Barney said again, and Adrian turned around.

He came closer, raising Barney’s hand and cupped it with both of his own.

“Don’t apologize.” He raised his head, locking eyes with Barney once again, “I just want to go, please?” 

Barney swallowed hard, then nodded, and they started walking once again. Barney let Adrian guide him through the dark spaces of the storage facility, his own pistol dense and heavy in his hand. 

When they saw Black Ops, they hid, utilizing the shadows to mask their presence as they snuck past. The two weren’t even exactly sure where they were going, they were just looking for something .

Would anything be able to rescue them at this point? If Adrian was right and that supposed strange man had turned the nuke back on, then… that was it, right? He knew that he shouldn’t think like that but, what were they supposed to do? Could they make it there in time? Barney felt a shudder go down his spine. 

He stared at Adrian’s back, taking in the little tears in the fabric of his vest, the freckles that dotted his scarred arms, the little brown hairs on the back of his neck. Adrian, are we going to die?

Barney wanted to take him home, he wanted to meet his annoying little sister, he wanted to make breakfast for him, and sit with him quietly on the porch and see him in a suit and do so many things they might never get the chance to. All the things he could’ve taken away forever with one gunshot. Don’t apologize. Barney swallowed hard.

Tell me we’re not going to die.

-

The dark storage facility was lit up in bright, fluorescent greens through Adrian’s goggle lens, as he focused on navigating Barney and him through the maze of crates, containers, and Black Op assassins. There was no chance to stop, to talk. There never was, really , Adrian thought, as he dragged Barney around a corner to avoid a patrol of Black Ops.

Adrian didn’t even know where he was going, but he was going to find a way to stop the bomb, and he was going to find a way that they could walk out of there alive. He guided Barney as they climbed, scrambling over boxes until they reached another floor of solid ground. Adrian looked back and reached out his hand, and Barney took it. He looked so sad.

Adrian knew it wasn’t Barney’s fault he’d nearly pulled the trigger on him, not really. It was this place, it was the last few days— it would put anyone on edge. Still, it was scary to see that look in those browns and blues, the ones that he had seen hold such joy, and such fear, and such love . It was like Barney hadn’t recognized him.

Adrian shook his head; he couldn’t let himself get distracted by this. They’d find a way out, then they could talk.

The two soon found themselves standing on a ledge, a dip down two stories stretching beneath them, scattered corpses of aliens and Black Ops strewn lifelessly across the concrete floor. There was another hallway on the other side of the dip, a string of enormous hanging crates appearing to be the only path leading over.

Jump from crate to crate— as long as they held onto the cables, it should be fine. He looked up at the ceiling, looking for a… bingo. In the corner near the end, there was a patch of pulsating, what did the doctor call it, Xen flora? They’d have to get a certain distance on the boxes to get in range, but… He felt a small wriggle in his backpack; he had his safety net. Adrian swung his backpack over his shoulder and began to zip it down. 

Barney’s still desolate eyes turned to him, and before he seemed to realize what Adrian was doing, Adrian had stuck his own hand onto the barnacle gun and was putting his backpack back into place. When Adrian turned to look at him, Barney suddenly had an expression of indignant horror on his face. 

“What?” Adrian whispered, throwing up his hands, and the barnacle let out a retching noise in response.

Adrian petted it, and Barney stared hatefully at the creature, then turned away with a dismissive gesture. Adrian thought it was good to see that more recognizable horror on his face, not filled with harrowed self-loathing. 

“Okay, just hold onto me as we get across.” Adrian told him.

“What do you mean by ‘get across’?” Barney asked quietly, apprehension in his tone.

Adrian shrugged.

“Well, there are platforms.”

“What do you mean there are platforms?” The apprehension was rising in Barney’s tone.

Barney looked forward, then looked back at Adrian.

“You mean climb across ?”

Adrian nodded, gesturing towards the suspended containers. 

“Yep, just like on the playground.” 

“And what kind of playground were you on?” Barney gawked as they started to ease back into their usual rapport.

“Uh, the kind they had in the eighties?” Adrian shrugged again.

“Yeah, obviously but— wait, how old are you?” 

There were suddenly sounds of gunshots behind them, and Adrian and Barney instinctively jerked down into a crouch. Adrian hopped back up, looking behind him and not seeing any Black Ops— arguably worse than seeing them. He grabbed Barney by the arm.

“Hold on, we gotta move.” 

Adrian dragged Barney with him as they leapt from the platform onto the first box, swinging wildly as the two men landed on it. Barney staggered and grabbed onto the suspension cable, eyes wide as he braced himself. There were more gunshots behind them, and the two ducked as bullets flew over their heads, multiple Black Ops now visible on the platform.

“Next one!” Adrian yelled, and he dragged Barney with him once again, leaping to the next box.

Adrian stumbled forward onto one knee as the ground swung beneath him, glancing behind him to see a Black Op had followed them, jumping onto the first crate and gaining ground quickly. 

Adrian had to think fast. He let go of Barney’s arm, reached down and yanked his pistol out of its holster, aiming it. Not at the Black Op, but above them. 

With precision, Adrian pulled the trigger, and the bullet connected with the suspension cable, snapping it and sending the Black Op plummeting to the ground below. Heart pounding, he scrambled to his feet, making wide eye contact with Barney. A bullet hit the crate, narrowly missing their feet, and the two continued to run, jumping onto the third crate. Just two more to go.

They both swung, clinging onto the cable as they both peeked back cautiously. The Black Ops had stopped firing, and it gave Adrian a bad feeling. Suddenly, the suspension cable rattled under their hands, and they looked up to see it beginning to snap as a gunshot sounded from the other platform.

Adrian gasped, and felt Barney’s grip on his shoulders as he was pulled forward and through the air, onto the next crate, rolling as the crate behind them fell and splintered on the concrete floor. One more.

Adrian and Barney both hurried to pick themselves off the ground, bracing to jump when the ground shook beneath them with a snap!

Just as the ground gave out, Adrian darted out an arm and grabbed Barney by the waist, adrenaline rushing through his veins as he watched the crate in front of them drop to the ground, too. Barney cried out and suddenly, they were in freefall; it felt like time froze.

In a test of faith, Adrian thrusted out his barnacle gun toward the Xen flora clinging to the corner and squeezed his fist closed, just as Dr. Yang had told him to. A red tongue shot powerfully out of the barnacle's maw, kickback knocking Adrian’s hand backward as the tongue unraveled. Right as they were about to hit the floor, it attached to the organic material, and the two were yanked upward, swinging precariously over open air as they were launched across.

When they reached the angle to land correctly, Adrian let go of his fist, and the two went flying onto the platform, rolling roughly on the floor as they arrived safely on the other side. Adrian laughed in disbelief as he leapt to his feet, and the two Black Ops briefly paused their gunfire, as if frozen, stunned. Then, they raised their guns again, and Adrian pulled Barney onto shaking legs as they hit the ground running, rounding the corner, bullets hitting the ground and wall behind them as they ducked out of fire range.

Then, they were safe.

Adrian felt like he was forgetting something, as they both braced themselves against the wall, gulping down air as they struggled to catch their breath. Oh right.

“O-Oh… by the way…” Adrian panted, turning to Barney, “I’m 22.”

-

22.

Barney was silent for a moment, breathless. Then, he couldn’t help it, he started to wheeze out quiet laughter, barely able to breathe as he giggled. 

“Holy shit.” He managed, gasping for air as he tried to hold back laughter long enough to not pass out. 

“What?” Adrian breathed, and there was a smile in his voice.

Barney swallowed, shaking his head with a breathless chuckle. 

“You… are ridiculous…” He straightened, back against the wall as he wiped sweat from his forehead.

“Yeah? And… how old are you, huh?”

“26?”

“Old man.” Adrian reached up and brushed Barney’s black hair behind his ear, hand lingering near his face.

Barney grinned, reaching up and holding his hand, interlacing their fingers. Adrian made a pleased noise.

“There’s that smile.” Adrian said, and Barney was surprised for a moment.

Then, feeling an overwhelming wave of emotion, he brought their intertwined hands up to his lips and planted a kiss on Adrian’s knuckles. He smiled at Adrian again, a tired smile, but it was sparkling.

“Maybe you should put that away.” Barney said without taking his eyes off Adrian.

Adrian seemed confused, then looked down at the barnacle gun, still attached to his hand.

“Oh shit you’re right.” He gently let go of his hand, tracing Barney’s fingers as he pulled away, putting the horrible creature back into his pack as it squirmed.

Barney laughed, then he looked up, staring at him adoringly. Adrian looked up, too, toothy grin on his face, before he leaned and sat back against the wall.

They sat there just a while more, catching their breaths, fingers locked together in a peaceable quiet. 

Then, Barney finally stood, pulling Adrian to his feet. They continued walking down the concrete hallway, an odd sense of finality washing over them; somehow they must have both known they were only delving further into the facility. 

When they approached the dead end, they stood in silence at the front of a metal garage door that was built into the wall, which opened by itself when they got closer. Barney caught Adrian looking around frantically from the corner of his eye; looking for the man in blue , he guessed. Barney didn’t want Adrian to worry about that anymore.

Reached out his arm and gingerly took Adrian’s chin, turning his head to face him, and Barney gave him the smallest and softest of smiles. He watched the alarm in his eyes melt away behind the mask, and he grasped Barney’s wrist, rubbing it gently with his thumb.

When Adrian pulled away, they looked forward and stepped inside the metal door, into what looked like a small supply room. There was one light flickering overhead, and a health station blinking on the wall, shelves covered with various supplies and ammo. On the other side of the room, there was a lift stationed, ready to go. Down and only down. 

There was a note scribbled and messily taped to the wall, and Barney walked over and ripped it off the wall, reading it.

‘Giant worm creature down the lift reported. Already lost men, scientists say its arrival is possibly cataclysmic. Unit heading in to take care of problem. May not return. 

-Corporal Rain’

Barney stared at it in silence, and he felt Adrian looking over his shoulder at it, too. Neither spoke, but they knew that they were going in— they were already past the point of no return.

“We should probably grab those supplies while we’re here.” Adrian said quietly, and Barney just nodded.

Barney and Adrian walked up to the shelves, and Barney started opening up the metal tins containing ammo and beginning to reload his collection of weapons in silence. He glanced over at Adrian, who was doing the same thing next to him. When Adrian looked up, Barney looked away, for no reason in particular. Then, he realized; he wanted to stare at him. Any chance he could. Burn the memory of him and his body language into his brain. He looked back up, locking eyes with Adrian. Are we going to die?

All of a sudden, they heard a deep groaning coming from below them, a loud, shaking roar that echoed through every bit of Barney’s body. He shivered, staring at Adrian.

“This is it, isn’t it?” Barney asked, letting out a small laugh. But it wasn’t funny.

“No, we can’t think like that.” Adrian said, barely more than a whisper. But he knew Adrian was thinking the same thing.

Barney had something pushing at the front of his mind.

“I don’t want to die.” Was what came out, then he shook his head, “But if I’m going to die with someone—”

“Barney—”

“I’m glad it’s you.” Barney had stopped looking at Adrian and turned, clicking the last clip of ammo he needed into place.

Then he felt arms wrapping around him, warm and all-encompassing as Adrian embraced him, placing his head between Barney’s shoulder blades. He didn’t feel the hard press of a gas mask.

“Barney,” he whispered, voice wavering, but clear as a bell, “I love you. I love you so much.”

He heard Adrian take a shaky breath, then burrow his face further, voice slightly muffled by Barney’s uniform. 

“I wanted more time.”

Barney’s heart pounded in his ears as his chest ached, feeling tighter and tighter. He felt a burning lump in his throat, and felt hot tears start to prick at his eyes. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, trying and failing to swallow.

“Me too. I love you too. ” Barney’s voice crackled and broke, taking one of Adrian’s gloved hands off his torso and kissing it on the palm. 

Adrian maneuvered his way around Barney, and he had no mask. He was beautiful, he always was, but there were tears in his brown eyes, threatening to spill over and fall down his freckled face. Adrian reached up to Barney’s face to wipe a tear he hadn’t realized he’d shed.

Adrian leaned forward slowly and brushed a kiss against his lips, leaving Barney’s skin burning where theirs had made contact. Then, they both leaned in, and they embraced, wholly, tightly. Barney buried his face in Adrian’s shoulder, feeling Adrian press his face into his neck. He felt his warm breath on his jaw, melting into the touch, and he blinked away tears, feeling them roll down his cheeks.

Barney held him closer, closer, and the two held each other with the quiet, painful stillness of two men waiting to die. Then, they heard another low moan, a roar that shook the ground and reverberated through their bones, and the two men looked down. 

“Fuck… This isn’t goodbye, Barney. I promise this isn’t goodbye.” Adrian spoke softly, cupping the back of Barney’s neck and gently pushing their heads together.

Then, finally, they broke apart, and Barney wiped the tears off of his face. Barney took a shaky breath, looking at Adrian and looking at the lift, watching Adrian move to step onto it. Barney, feeling the heavy weight of his pistol he had almost shot Adrian with, pressed into his leg, he pulled it out of his holster. He walked over to the shelf and placed it on the hard surface, then turned to leave, taking out Adrian’s SMG as he boarded the lift.

Chapter Text

With a shaky hand, Barney reached down and pressed the button. It clicked, and the ground began to lower, screeching and clicking and groaning as it brought them down, down. Barney watched Adrian take out his pistol, cocking it and nodding at Barney. He pulled down his mask and pointed it, readying himself. 

When they reached the bottom, they arrived in a hallway, caution lines spread across vents on the ground, and familiar, disturbing Xen flora invading and clinging to the walls and floor. Barney gawked as he watched a box float into midair, moving on its own, then another.

There were strange glimmers of light that flitted past them and across the ceiling, floating and dancing down the hall. Barney was staring at them, unsure if he trusted the things, then he saw Adrian following the strange glimmers down the hall. Barney ran up, keeping behind him, alert for aliens. 

“What are you doing?” Barney asked.

“I think they want us to follow them.” Adrian breathed, staring up at the creatures, light reflecting off the scratches in his goggles.

They stepped down concrete stairs, following the glimmer until they reached another, smaller hallway. It was a dead end but for one sealed, metal door, a button on the side to open it. There was one more groaning, reverberating roar, and this time, it was all-encompassing in its volume, rattling Barney to his core. And it was coming from the door in front of them. Barney took a step back, staring at the metal door, really realizing that, yes, this was it.

Damn right, he was scared. He was scared as hell. But when he looked at Adrian, standing by his side and gazing over at him in turn, he knew it was all going to be okay. He grabbed Adrian’s hand and roughly kissed it, then nodded determinedly. Adrian’s eyes softened, then he nodded back, reaching up a hand to hover over the button. He pressed it, and the metal door slid open with a whoosh.

They both walked into an empty concrete area, with a ladder and a rope, leading up to a platform. It was so loud in there, but Barney couldn’t tell the sound was, the whirring and howling of what sounded like wind but distinctly wasn’t. When he looked up at the platform, something was emitting purple light from beyond, but Barney couldn’t make out what it was either. He guessed they’d just have to climb up and find out.

Adrian gestured toward the ladder, and Barney took a deep, trembling breath, then began to climb. At the top, the Xen overgrowth was hard to avoid, as it twisted and held onto whatever it could. He waited for Adrian to climb up and he helped him to his feet when he reached the top, then they turned to face the doorway, where harsh purple light shone in. The two walked over to the doorway, turning the corner and into an enormous room, with tall, steep concrete walls that reached into a ceiling that was so high up that it plunged into darkness. 

They emerged onto a low metal catwalk, where they were suddenly staring directly into a massive portal, encompassing an entire wall of the room, the glimmers from earlier being sucked in in a spiral pattern as they disappeared into the other side. The portal was not transparent, with twisting and almost incomprehensible movements constantly passing over a bright purple gateway, held in a frame of alien flora, dyed a luminescent green, with veiny patterns running up and down its length in a disorienting mess of visuals. On the catwalk, there were two emerging balconies, one on either side of the room, which was crawling with Xen flora. On each concrete pillar balcony, there were rifles, stationed on the balconies, pointed toward the portal, and ladders leading down to the bottom floor. Yet another thing to question, did Black Mesa know about this?

The ground shook beneath them suddenly, metal of the catwalk rattling as the low groan turned into a high roar, and Barney thought it was the loudest sound he’d ever heard as he stumbled back a step, ears ringing from the sound, struggling not to stagger to his knee. The two watched with horror as a giant, green tentacle burst forth from the portal, its sharp talon landing on the concrete ground below, making a horrible screeching noise as it dragged itself forward.

There was another tentacle, then another, then another as the most enormous alien Barney had ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on drew itself through the portal, its tentacles waving erratically as it tilted back its flat, sharp head. It was the size of a two story building, it had no eyes, and yet, it fixed directly on Adrian and Barney, chiton scraping chiton as it turned and started to lunge. There were giant, throbbing amber and green pouches along its body, and, looking down, there was a square-shaped dip in the pit of its belly, exposing a ball of bright purple lightning.

Barney looked up, then jumped out of the way as a giant tentacle smashed down directly in front of them, onto the concrete balcony. When the tentacle lifted, the metal handrail had been completely crumpled under the power of the attack, and, panic coursing through his veins, Barney had a single thought; how can we possibly fight this?

“I’m going for it.” Barney heard Adrian say next to him, horrible determination in his voice as he dashed forward, making a run for the gun stationed on the balcony. 

Barney’s heart rate spiked as he watched Adrian charge toward the rifle, wanting to call out for him, make him come back. But then, he looked at the gargantuan creature that stood before him, writhing and now fixated on Adrian, and he hopped to his feet. He remembered his promise to himself; Barney was not going to let Adrian die in front of him. So he hit the floor running, making a break for the gun on the other side of the catwalk as he made wild and waving movements attempting to get the thing’s attention.

“ Hey! Hey you big fucking dummy, look over here!” Barney shouted at the top of his lungs, and Barney was almost surprised when the creature turned in his direction. 

“Oh shit!” Barney couldn’t help but utter as he watched it raise a smaller, taloned tendril, taking it and sweeping its way across the catwalk with the sound of screeching metal. Running on adrenaline, Barney leapt over the tendril as it swung towards him, rolling safely onto the ground behind him as he heaved a breath. Then, he was on his feet again, continuing his mad dash towards the second balcony. 

He heard the loud cry of the alien and blasts of fire from the rifle across the way, as Adrian hit the creature, and Barney heard a loud bursting noise. Reaching his own rifle, he turned and watched as one of the pouches of luminescent amber burst open and went out at the blast of Adrian’s rifle. A weak point.

Barney spotted one of the amber pouches, clinging to the creature’s body, and he took the pistol and aimed at it. Taking the handle, he thrust it forward, sending bursts of gluon powered lasers into the beast, and the amber rippled until it broke, sending the creature into another bout of loud, crying screams.

It bent backwards with a mighty creak, and Barney saw the ball of purple lightning, stuck firmly in its belly. He turned to look at Adrian, who nodded at him with wide eyes. Then, they both began to fire rapidly into the power source, and it closed the pocket in its flesh and roared, lunging forward with its tendrils. It slammed the ground directly by Adrian, who Barney barely heard let out a strangled cry across the way.

Barney’s blood ran cold, and he ran over to Adrian as the tentacle lifted. But Barney saw Adrian stand, pant leg ripped open and soaked with blood. Barney fell to a kneel beside Adrian’s leg to quickly inspect it as Adrian pulled out his heavy machine gun, moving it out of Barney’s space.

“I’m fucking fine Barney! Concentrate on the giant--”

He was cut off when, with a horribly familiar whoosh , the creature tilted its head back, and a small portal began to build in its maw. Barney grabbed Adrian by the sleeve and dragged him, stumbling back into the room they had come from, out of the way. The portal crashed through where they had stood just moments before, hitting the wall and disintegrating as it lost energy. Barney heaved breaths, then the two ran out again, just as it started to conjure another portal. 

Barney was ready to charge back into cover, when it faced down, shooting a portal into the space below them. From the portal there emerged a far smaller alien, who then turned and shot a beam at the two men, who jumped out of the way as it hit the wall behind them with a crackle of electricity, scorching the concrete. Barney knew that the guns didn’t have a proper angle on it from the catwalk, so, with newfound courage, he knew what he had to do.

“Stay alive!” He yelled, then shouldered past Adrian, feeling his eyes on him as he ran towards the ladder on the opposing column, hopping on and sliding down.

Barney took out his shotgun, pumping it as he hopped out from around the corner, and a beam of energy came shooting at him from the alien’s hand weapon. He rolled out of the way, stumbling as he got up, then he charged the alien and fired two rapid shots into the alien, its kickback attempting to throw itself out of Barney’s grip. The alien gurgled and wretched, and Barney put the gun to its head and fired a last shot, blowing its head off in a spray of sickly green. 

Breathing hard, he looked up to watch as Adrian fired more lasers into the giant monstrosity that was gradually trying to pull itself out of the portal, inch by inch. It roared as Adrian destroyed another one of its weak points. He was about to run towards the ladder again, when his eye caught on the alien’s hand weapon. It had fallen off, and was laying abandoned on the floor. Looking back at the sizable dent it had made in the concrete, adrenaline pumping through his veins, he hesitated briefly, before snatching it up and charging forward on the ground floor. 

He fitted it on its hand with a disgruntled noise, its pincers snapping open and closed at the end. He then clenched his fist and fired it into the bright purple ball of electricity, which had been exposed once again in the creature’s distracted state. The electric charges combined with the lasers caused the creature to reel back once again, writhing in pain and roaring that deafening, ear-ringing roar. 

It once again lunged, bringing down one of its gargantuan tentacles onto the catwalk, causing it to come crashing down in a screeching and scream of metal as it was crushed under the weight, destroying his way back to Adrian. He backed away, trying and failing to get a good angle on its weak points, a cold sweat running in bullets down his face. The enormous creature opened its flat, ugly maw, then, before Barney could think it launched a spray of bubbling green directly at him. As Barney shut his eyes and braced for impact, frozen, he was suddenly slammed into and grabbed by the waist, and Barney cried out in surprise, ready to fight for his life.

His eyes snapped open, and he turned right to come face to face with Adrian, right arm up and locked into his barnacle gun, as they soared through the air. 

“I’ve got you!” Adrian told him, and Barney just stared at him.

That determined shine in his brown eyes. Barney knew that if they had lived, he would’ve loved this man for the rest of his life.

They swung up and were sent stumbling onto the platform, tripping over themselves as they landed. Adrian didn’t waste a beat as he got to his feet and staggered toward the connected rifle, still bleeding profusely. Barney got up and ran towards the rifle instead, crouching to man it.

“I’ve got it Adrian! Focus on the power source!”

Adrian looked put off for a second, then he nodded, and rushed toward the handrail instead, bracing himself and facing downward towards the creature’s belly. Barney took the gun by the handle once again, aiming shakily at the last glowing, luminescent pouch he spotted on the thing’s mountainous body. He pushed down on the handle and fired two shots, growling as he missed and they went ricocheting off the walls. The creature swung a tendril towards him, and he rolled backwards, narrowly dodging the limb as it crashed through and knocked the gun clean off of the railing, smashing it against the wall.

Barney cursed loudly, then raised his arm, still attached to the alien weapon, and fired rapidly into the amber pouch, over and over. Barney shot one more, then it burst open, and the creature howled and screamed in those distorted, otherworldly tones that blasted his eardrums and sent him stumbling in disorientation.

“Adrian, the power sour—” He started to yell to Adrian, when he spotted him out of the corner of his eye, already prepared.

Adrian had taken the missile launcher off his back and had just finished stocking it with a missile. It fired up with a whir, and Adrian quickly trained the laser on the open stomach of the beast.

“Eat shit!” 

He fired the missile, staggering painfully back onto one knee as the missile sailed into the belly of the beast, hitting the energy source with a deadly and blinding explosion. The creature screamed and writhed and let out horrible, grating noises as Barney rushed over to Adrian. He was cut off when the creature, writhing in a last attempt at survival, started slamming its tentacles into anything it saw, with all the strength it had. 

The tentacle hit the concrete, shattering it and sending Barney and Adrian flying off the platform and to the ground floor in an explosion of dust and rubble. Barney hit the ground hard, and rolled a few feet across the rough metal ground, coughing up concrete dust that now coated his throat and everything around them. Behind them he heard otherworldly screeching and charging noises begin, but he couldn’t find it in himself to jump to find out what it was.

He roughly slid the alien device off of his hand, and tried and failed to get to his feet, slumping back down into the concrete dust and rubble, as his limbs were shaking and sore while he came down from his adrenaline high. Barney reached out an aching limb and dragged himself forward, beginning to call out, in dry, cracked, desperate tones.

“Adrian!” 

Barney dragged himself forward, hearing the noises begin to pick up in volume, drowning him out even to his own ringing ears. Then, through the dust, he saw a familiar slumped form, nearly half his mask cracked off, laid against the wall. His head perked up when he saw Barney, and Barney just barely saw his lips move, through the dust and haze.

Then, there was a pair of legs, and Barney lifted his head to see a sharply dressed man in all blue, staring down at Adrian. His form was somehow crystal clear through all the dust and debris, and the man’s eyes were an icy, glowing, piercing blue. Barney’s blood ran cold, and Adrian turned his head to meet the man’s eyes, as he stood and said something to Adrian, something he couldn’t hear. 

Somehow, his body found the strength to pull himself to his feet, and he staggered up, making a beeline for Adrian. He saw Adrian look at him with wide eyes, then flick his eyes from Barney to the man, back to Barney. Adrian yanked something off his neck, then braced himself against the wall to pull himself to his feet, and as a bright green began to flicker behind him, the two met in the middle.

Adrian nearly bowled into him as he took Barney’s hand from his side and firmly placed something in it, closing his fingers around it with his own hand. Barney strained his ears desperately to hear him over the destruction and the screeching of metal and the blazing of portals. He still couldn’t hear him, but he saw him mouth just three words.

I love you.

Then, in a blinding blink of green and white and blazing heat and indescribable sensation, Adrian was gone. Barney cried out for him, but he couldn’t hear , and soon, he was overwhelmed, swallowed by green.

He felt his atoms strung and ripped across space and time and away from the facility, away from the explosion, away from Adrian. He hit solid ground. It wasn’t the metal floors of the chamber, or the concrete grounds of the facility. It was warm sand. 

Bright light swarmed his vision, and it was natural light.

“Oh thank god you made it.” A familiar voice said, “I was worried a malfunction had occurred at the last moment and you might have been caught in an infinite harmonic reflux!”

He looked up from the ground to see Dr. Rosenberg, standing in the exact same spot as Barney had left him, a Black Mesa labeled car parked just behind them, started up and ready to depart. Barney shook his head as Rosenberg continued to talk, and Barney tuned him out, starting to gasp for air through non dust filled lungs, body back to the way it was before the further days in Black Mesa. With Adrian.

He felt warm metal digging into his hand, and raised it shakily up to see-- it was Adrian’s dog tags. He had given them to Barney.

It wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t.

“No, no no no no.” Barney started to mumble, clutching his chest and letting his forehead hit the ground as he started to let out heaving sobs, gasping and gasping for air that wouldn’t come.

He shook and slammed the ground with his fist, clenching his teeth through more aching, chest tearing sobs. They were supposed to disappear together, die together.  

Barney Calhoun hated portals.