Chapter Text
“Well, Tommy! Everything’s coming up roses don’t you think?”
In reality, Tommy thought that it was coming to more of a bitter end than anything. As much as Tommy tried to see the bright side of the time to come, he simply could not.
Tommy had been staying in the USA with ranboo, tubbo, Wilbur, Phil and Kristin over the summer. It was honestly everything he ever dreamed, but the thing with dreams is that you always wake up.
The time spent with his best friends, his family even! Was somehow better than anything he’d ever had at home. Every aspect, of every day, it felt like something he had never had before
It felt like love.
They had a huge streamer house, which made the fans go crazy! As if they weren’t crazy enough already.
The group of them had created mountains of content for the fans to enjoy. But even better than that, Tommy got to spend so much time with his streamer friends. Met dream, sapnap, techno, Along with so many other American streamers.
He spent so much quality time with the people he loved. He would consider them family by now. Which was a high and important title to Tommy
Well, Phil and Kristen have been better parents than his biological ones, and Wilbur, dream, and sapnap had been the brothers he never had.
But, everything fun must come to an end eventually.
“Yeah, definitely... uh-- excited to go home” Tommy muttered
Wilbur elbowed him in the side. “Hey hey, I’m sure your parents miss you, don’t be sad, we’ll see everyone again.”
Tommy didn’t answer- most people would call that ignorance or accuse Tommy of being a bother but Everyone in this dream household thought Tommy didn’t want to go home for the sole reason that he would miss his made-up family. And He was a kid, dare he play make-believe for just a while longer?
Phil interrupted Wilbur and Tommy’s one-sided conversation “And make sure your bag is packed! We leave in an hour!”
One more hour.
60 more fucking minutes of the only family Tommy had.
This isn’t fair
Nothing is fair.
“Plus Clay is almost here” Added Ranboo.
“Yeah ok… be down in a bit”
People were used to Tommy having his off moments, especially on emotionally overwhelming days, so no one mentioned Tommy’s attitude.
Tommy walked off thinking about how awkward that conversation was.
He felt like everyone was preparing to go from almost family to online friends again. Which was too hard for Tommy to think about, but too scared to admit to himself.
Sure they could call each other, and meet you for monthly vlogs. But it won’t be the same as eating breakfast together every morning and cuddling on the couch while watching adam Sandler movies.
Everyone is probably stressed because of the trip home and who is he kidding, Tommy is too. So he doesn’t fret anymore.
Instead, he goes into his room. And packs his bags.
He was already pretty much packed. Having been prepared for the last week as a stress reliever, that ultimately didn’t help at all. It actually made him think about it more.
All he had to do was zip his suitcase and pack a plane bag.
Zipping up his suitcase was sobering. Flashing back to originally unzipping it when he moved in for the summer.
The seconds passed by like milliseconds, so fast that if he blinked he felt as though he was missing hours.
Hours of valuable time spent on his own. Away from his perfect family.
He dreaded the plane. which made another reason he didn’t wanna leave.
Phil promised to buy Tommy some over-the-counter anxiety pills for the ride. Or at least something to calm him. So he’s hoping Phil didn’t forget about that.
But Tommy convinced that you would have to sedate him to get him on a fucking plane.
Maybe he could pack some things to distract him.
He stared down at everything he had packed, and the things Phil bought him for the trip home.
Sprawled across his now-empty bed was a pack of gum, water, potato crisps, a charger, earbuds, a small pillow, and monster energy.
His favourite flavour, light blue. It mattered that Phil cared enough to remember that.
He’ll survive. This will be fine.
When he gets back to Brighton he’ll be picked up by his dad and go home.
But could he even call that place home?
Could he really feel at home? When he lived with his god-awful parents.
Could he really call it home when his parents, the ones that are supposed to love him for who he is, can’t even call him by his real name?
Or call him by the proper gender?
Or use his proper pronouns?
It’s always
“Clean your room clementine”
“Go pick up groceries clementine”
“Such a beautiful young lady”
“Why did you cut your hair”
“Yes we love you but not the trans part of you”
“You’re delusional”
“You’re just a tomboy”
“It’s just a persona”
Before he knew it Tommy was crying.
He lied down on his empty bed. No blankets or anything. Just a mattress on a bed frame.
He was cold and sad, He let his hot tears roll down his face for warmth. It was some weird depressing way; it soothed him. He allowed himself to cry for one of the first times in a long time. until he heard someone coming up the stairs.
Phil?
“Hey mate! Clay and sapnap are coming over to say goodbye”
Tommy didn’t respond. But frantically whipped his tears awash his sweater sleeve.
“Toms?”
“Mhm?” Tommy muttered, His voice cracking was a clear indication to Phil that something was very wrong.
“Toms!??” Phil repeated with more expression. “I’m gonna come inside... i-is that alright?”
“yea..” Tommy said. embarrassment lacing his tone.
Phil walked in to check on his practical son.
“Bud, what’s up?” he said sitting down on the bed beside him.
Tommy didn’t want to admit why he was upset. Wilbur always told him it was valid to be sad, but he just felt... so embarrassed.
What was he even supposed to say?
Uh yeah, Phil I don’t wanna go home...
He’ll sound like a child for god sake.
What is he gonna do...
“Ummm just bad cramps”
Phil knew Tommy was trans... obviously. And knew Tommy was too scared to take birth control in fear that his mum would get mad at him. Even though his mum isn’t here. And wouldn’t know.
So a few times in the last while that Tommy had been in the USA, he had cried over cramps.
It was the perfect excuse.
“Ok ok. No need to stress.” Phil sighed “how many times have I told you, Kristen keeps pain relievers in her purse.”
“Oh, yea... Sorry, I’ll ask her in a bit” Tommy let out a weak smile. A rushed smile too. A smile that indicated that he wanted alone time. He wanted to get this conversation over with.
“I’m glad,” Phil said. He reached over to give Tommy a hug and he accepted gratefully.
“how about you come down and see clay, I’m sure he wants to say goodbye, plus he’s our ride to the airport”
With that Phil up and left.
And Tommy was left to wipe his tears, grab his luggage and follow behind him.
He tracked his feet down the stairs with his luggage dragging close behind.
Dream waited in the living room ready to give tom a hug.
He was always there when Tommy needed.
He was always there to listen, although Tommy never spilled the secrets of his transphobic home.
He felt so bad. So bad that it left a painful weight in his gut- that he had never expressed to Clay how thankful he was for a friend- no brother* like him.
Tommy was gonna miss everyone so much.