Archive of Our Own ^beta

Taehyung has a date.

In different circumstances, that alone would’ve been enough reason for him to get caught up overthinking. Now, however, that’s not the thing making his head spin. Neither is the fact that his date is his boyfriend’s other boyfriend. No, that’s fine — better, actually, since it’s not some stranger he has set out to meet.

Except the problem might perhaps be just that. Because on top of being Jimin’s boyfriend, Min Yoongi also happens to have been Taehyung’s childhood best friend. Slash college nemesis. Slash circumstantially-reacquainted-friend. Slash surprisingly-requited-crush.

Safe to say, things between them have been complicated for a long time. Daegu was their home; Seoul, for a while, a nightmare.

(Until Jimin.)

But as much as Taehyung is looking forward to tonight — as hard as his cheeks hurt from smiling whenever he replays the way he confessed and how Yoongi asked him out — he can’t help the way his thoughts keep drifting.

“Taehyung-ah?”

Jimin’s mellow voice guides him back to reality, luring his eyes away from the ceiling as to step him out of daydreaming. He stays put on his spot over the blankets, slowly turning his head around to meet Jimin’s amused smile — elbow resting on the pillow, chin propped against his palm.

“Mm?” Taehyung murmurs, blinking a few times to adjust to the sunlight filtering through the curtains covering the glass window. “Sorry, wasn’t listening,” he apologizes, noticing their hands still laced together between them, their fingers intertwined.

Knowing his boyfriend, Taehyung guesses Jimin most definitely squeezed his hand a couple of times before calling out his name — probably trailed his thumb along the lines on his palm for minutes before deciding to follow up. All of it while well aware those were all set-to-fail attempts to quietly draw his attention back.

The gentle touches are so usual for them that the gesture alone would have never been enough to pull Taehyung away from his musings.

Jimin’s smile spreads wider as he shakes his head. “I know,” he says, playfully untangling their hands. “I asked if you were still worried, then tried to decipher the answer,” Jimin continues, poking between Taehyung’s eyebrows. “You weren’t frowning, so… what is it?”

“Just jitters, I guess,” Taehyung answers as Jimin’s hand travels down his cheeks to rest over his shirt’s collar. “I’m not exactly worried. I just— you know, butterflies in the stomach, feeling like my heart is about to burst,” he says, gesturing his hands up in the air to dismiss it. But Jimin finds his way to his neck, massaging his unmistakably tensed muscles, so Taehyung keeps going. “Okay, I’m a little nervous. I want this to go well. We’re in a good place. I don’t want to mess things up with him again.”

“You won’t,” Jimin reassures him, leaning closer until their foreheads meet. “You and hyung will have a great time, okay? Any misunderstandings you’ve had, you’ve fixed.”

“Because you made us,” Taehyung argues, pecking his lips before resting their foreheads back together. “If it weren’t for you, we’d still be mulling over the shit that drifted us apart years ago. We wouldn’t have talked, and we wouldn’t have reconnected. It was all you. Besides, you looked miserable whenever we’d do as much as glare at each other. We just wanted to make you happy.”

“At first, yeah. But then you did it for yourselves,” Jimin says wisely.

Taehyung shrugs, looking up to meet Jimin’s eyes before nudging him closer. “Still…”

Jimin hums, lowering himself against Taehyung’s chest, their shirts wrinkled between them. “Still, I won’t be there tonight, so that’s why you’re nervous.” Of course, Jimin picked up on his words and managed to put a name to what's been troubling him.

“Yeah, maybe,” Taehyung admits with a sigh.

Today marks his and Yoongi’s first date.

And their first time hanging out without Jimin around — that is, since the day Yoongi moved to Seoul, right before starting his last year of high school.

When Taehyung decided to apply to SNU, five years after Yoongi had already left, he knew seeing him again would be more than just a faint possibility. But he hoped it wouldn’t feel as different as having him show up at Daegu for Chuseok or catch him randomly knocking next door to visit his grandparents.

(That was what he expected, only it couldn’t be further from what came to pass.)

Taehyung knew he’d be seeing Yoongi again, but that doesn't mean he was ready for it. He wasn’t ready for their paths to cross on his first day there. And he most definitely wasn't ready for that to happen by the door of his shared dorm, as his brand new roommate introduced Yoongi as his sseom-nam.

For a while, Taehyung grew jealous. Not because he liked Yoongi in a romantic way, but because he felt as if he had somehow been replaced — as if there, he was suddenly out of place. Looking back now, he knows it was more about loneliness and longing — envy, perhaps, rather than jealousy.

But, thankfully, no matter how he felt about Yoongi or how much he resisted, nothing could’ve made him resent Jimin after he got to know him. Jimin has always been one of these people who pull others in. And things between them progressed naturally as months turned into years.

Falling for Jimin felt like gravity — a force that existed silently but strong. It was safe and unavoidable.

He and Yoongi both orbited him, but they avoided each other.

It wasn’t until Jimin made them realize how much their attitude towards each other was weighing on him that they finally agreed something had to change. Jimin knew all that stood between them was a misunderstanding. Miscommunication, of all things. And so he worked his magic.

They acted friendly for Jimin’s sake, but at some point, they became friends again.

It was different with Yoongi. Like there were invisible strings that kept pulling them closer — tangling, then threatening to snap. But each tug helped them find their way back.

“We’ve lost so much time because I was stubborn. I was so hurt I didn’t even want to listen or understand. And you just wanted us to get along, but now…” Taehyung trails his voice into thin air, biting his bottom lip before picking up again. “Without you there… I mean, that’s going to make it all real. Me and him.”

“You’re scared, then?” Jimin wonders, “of whatever that’s going to mean? Being real?”

“I guess so,” Taehyung says, arms circling Jimin’s waist. “I’m gonna have to face it… these feelings. I’ve only ever felt this way about you. And, you know… it’s different for us.”

“Not that different.”

“Jimin-ah,” Taehyung chides. “You know it is. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. Just that there’s going to be a lot to figure out. It’s a whole new relationship. It’s gonna change everything, and I don’t know exactly how yet.”

Jimin nods. “It might not be all that different. And whatever changes, we’ll make sure it works for all of us, always. So you don’t have to worry, okay?”

Taehyung believes him, but he still grimaces — he knows what that entails. “We’re gonna have to talk. About everything.”

“Yes,” Jimin confirms slowly, “at some point. You’re gonna have to open up to him and talk. But not now, and not about everything. It’ll be just like what you and I do but with hyung too.”

“I hate talking about it,” Taehyung complains with a pout.

He means that, but having any kind of intimate heart-to-heart with Yoongi makes him anxious for a different reason. Yoongi used to be the one person Taehyung shared everything with. Talking to him then was just as easy as talking with Jimin now. But Taehyung has changed so much. Not only that, he discovered and accepted things about himself that he fears might clash with how Yoongi sees him.

Taehyung is scared that he might look at him differently — and not good different. He has no idea how much Yoongi knows about his relationship with Jimin. Or what he’s expecting out of theirs.

“I know, baby.” Jimin reassures him. “But you can take your time. Yoongi-hyung won’t pressure you to talk. Much less do anything you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” Taehyung breathes heavily, nuzzling up against Jimin’s neck as he realizes his own words. “I think. It’s complicated.”

Taehyung feels Jimin's smile against his cheeks as his boyfriend moves to soothe him, quietly this time, lips soon brushing over his temples. He closes his eyes, enjoying the way Jimin's hand travels to his hair to gently comb it away from his forehead before trailing kisses across his skin.

They stay like that for minutes until Jimin fills the silence again. “Right now, all you have to do is allow yourself to enjoy the night out and have a good time with hyung. That doesn’t have to be a huge deal,” he says, voice dropping lower for the next bit, “but I do think you need this, Tae... to be with each other and see how you feel without me there. I think it's important that you do.”

“I know how I feel,” Taehyung says without hesitating, “about both of you.”

His eyes meet Jimin’s, and Taehyung slowly pulls him in for a kiss, his hand finding its way to Jimin’s neck for a touch that’s barely there, just enough to feel his skin against his palm — and make goosebumps follow after him.

They know their way around each other, and they move the path quietly. Jimin giggles when Taehyung’s bracelets brush under his ear, smiling into their kiss, and Taehyung can’t help his lips from curving up, fingers trailing to the nape of Jimin’s neck, making his earrings jingle.

Taehyung likes the way kissing makes Jimin’s cheeks grow red, how his pulse quickens, but he hardly ever loses his breath. He likes the feeling of being lost in a bubble where nothing else exists. And while they kiss, he is Jimin’s, and Jimin is his.

He loves how easily Jimin can make him laugh. How he nibbles on his neck to make it tickle or taps on his ribs so that Taehyung knows to lift him.

Taehyung has had his fair share of awful kisses in his life. But it has never been like that with Jimin — because since the start, whenever something wouldn't feel right, Taehyung knew that he could say it, and they'd work it out.

(If soulmates were real, Taehyung likes to believe Jimin would be his.)

So, as always, Taehyung lets himself get lost in kissing him, translating everything he's feeling into the way he holds on to Jimin — fingers digging on his waist, his boyfriend’s weight resting against him. And just like that, for this moment, all the problems vanish, he relaxes, and his worries disappear.

Jimin’s hand reaches his neck, and Taehyung sighs, leaning into his touch. “I love you,” he murmurs.

What he feels about Yoongi isn’t something that’s ever going to take away from that — only add to it. It’s love, whichever way the arrow points. And love, when shared, grows. Taehyung doesn’t plan on splitting himself halfway. He’s more than ready to jump in, head first.

(Twice.)

And when Jimin says it back, whispering as his eyes mirror the stars, he knows that no matter what happens tonight, everything will be alright.

Taehyung lets music blast in his ears as he drives.

He sets the most random playlist he has and tries not to get lost in thinking, the city lights guiding the way, though he’d still know it with his eyes closed.

He’s wearing the t-shirt Jimin got for him a few years back — plain white, with a small heart sewed on the inside of the sleeve. His lucky shirt. That he wears it whenever something important comes up — which explains the paint specks next to his ribs from his first day teaching art to preschoolers. The collarless blazer covers the splashes, but Taehyung takes comfort in knowing they’re still there, along with the many other memories this carries.

It feels funny to be going to Jimin’s place without him to pick up Yoongi instead.

Taehyung has gotten used to the other two living together, but it’s different now. He has driven to their apartment a thousand times before, but not for Yoongi. Not with Jimin deciding to stay back to give them space to enjoy their date since the start. And not without knowing where they’re going after that.

All he knows is that it’s somewhere Yoongi hasn’t even been to with Jimin yet.

The thought makes Taehyung smile; their first date being in a place that is somehow theirs alone. At least for now, until they bring Jimin along someday and tell him all the details of everything that happened without him there — and in truth, this second thought makes him smile even more. But for now, he enjoys the idea of this mysterious location being their special place.

(Like the park they used to go to as kids, and the tree they’d sit beside to talk then watch the sunset every Wednesday.)

Either way, he’ll soon find out where they’re going.

Having a car in Seoul was never part of his plans, but he ended up going along with it after months of his father insisting on it, saying he would have no excuses then not to visit his older brother in Daejeon or help out with his niece. Taehyung would've done that regardless, but the car does ease it. A regular two-hour bus trip with a three-year-old would've been trickier — which was ultimately why he finally accepted it.

He’s thankful for it now, though. Not only because he does get to see Seokjin and Jihyun more often, but because driving helps him unwind.

The song changes as soon as Taehyung parks, and silence replaces the music when Yoongi walks out of the building — wearing a light blue cotton jumper and ripped jeans, which doesn’t stand out from his usual outfits, but Taehyung swears he’s never looked this pretty.

“Hi, hyung,” Taehyung greets quietly, watching Yoongi take the passenger seat beside him. He pulls on his bottom lip, tightening a fist over his knee. “You dressed up nicely.”

(He looks stunning.)

“Hey, Taehyung-ah.” Yoongi looks back at him and smiles. He is glowing, and he seems happy, but he still fidgets with the seatbelt to put it on. “Thank you. You look handsome yourself.”

A loud click echoes as the buckle settles in.

Their eyes meet, but Taehyung suddenly feels tense again — shy and unsure. Yoongi is there. His smile is gentle and warm, and this is happening. But that’s just as real as the metaphorical crickets now filling the car.

Taehyung wets his lips, darting his tongue out. “So, hm, will you tell me where we’re going now?”

“Not yet.” Yoongi shakes his head. “But it’s not far from the Leeum Museum, so you can just drive there, and I’ll let you know where to turn.”

“Okay.” Taehyung nods. “But it’s a restaurant, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s with the secrecy, then?”

Taehyung hears his own voice, quiet and confused — curious, more than anything — but he still winces at the thought of Yoongi reading that with an aggressive undertone. Jimin isn’t there to smooth things along now, and instead, his conscience screams inside his head.

Careful.

Yoongi’s smile doesn’t falter, though. Except perhaps to give space to a faint blush on his cheeks. “I just want to see your face when you see the restaurant for the first time… It’s pretty. The restaurant. I think you’ll like it. So none of your fancy GPS. No pictures. I’ll guide you.”

“Okay,” Taehyung repeats, feeling his ears growing warmer. Pretty. Okay. Good. “In that case, I can’t wait to see it.”

Taehyung attempts to take a breath, halfway filling his lungs before a rasping cough scrapes on his throat. He murmurs a small apology and keeps on driving, eyes focused on the road. He doesn’t know if Yoongi would want to hear the music in his playlist or something else, but he doesn’t ask, and a strained silence hangs between them for a few more blocks.

(Oh, shit.)

This is awkward.

Why is it awkward?

“Jiminie stayed back to study for a while,” Taehyung says suddenly, trying to rise above the quiet. “He has a big test next week.”

Yoongi nods slightly. “I know,” he answers with a soft voice.

Of course he knows. He knows where his boyfriend is and what he’s doing. They probably talked while Taehyung drove over, too. Besides, Jimin helps Yoongi at the bookstore a few days a week, and he’s been taking days off to manage the semester, so obviously, Yoongi knows.

Taehyung grips the steering wheel. “I quizzed him.”

“That’s good—”

“You know, many dogs are short-sighted,” Taehyung blurts out before Yoongi can say anything else. “That wasn’t on the quiz, but I asked, and Jimin said so.”

What the heck?

Taehyung curses himself, catching a glimpse of Yoongi’s smile as he checks the rearview, though barely registering what he answers — something about that being interesting, which Taehyung would’ve probably agreed to in any other situation. But right now, he just feels… weird.

He’s been so used to Jimin acting as a bridge between them that now that they’re alone, it’s like he can’t find the ground to step on. He feels like he’s walking on eggshells. And he knows that’s him overthinking it, but he can’t figure out what to say, and Jimin comes to him as the only safe topic his mind can conjure.

Words fly past him like a jumbled mess, and he can’t sequence them — not in the way he wants to, anyway.

Jimin would know how to fix it.

“Did you two have a good day?”

Yoongi’s question drives Taehyung’s mind back, though his eyes remain on the street, his body working the car almost as if on autopilot. He wonders if Yoongi thinks Jimin is a safe topic too, or if he somehow noticed that’s what he was doing.

Luckily, this has an easy answer either way. “We did, thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?”

Oh, no. “Nothing.” For not needing him when I did. “Did you have a good day?”

“I did,” Yoongi replies, leaning against the seat in a relaxed manner. “I’m working with a new author, we had a meeting earlier, and it’s looking good. The book is amazing. It’s probably my favorite so far. Definitely my kind of story. But it’s not done yet, so I can’t really talk about it.”

Taehyung nods, and he can’t help smiling.

Growing up, he always thought Yoongi would end up as a writer, but seeing him now, managing his own bookstore while working for a small publishing house, book editing fits just as perfectly.

As a kid, Yoongi loved stories. He would spend days with a book under his arm, then turn random people in the park into the characters. Taehyung remembers laughing so hard his stomach would hurt then crying so much he’d end up clutching Yoongi’s hand under the leaves’ shadows.

(Yoongi knew to pick stories that made him feel something.)

Taehyung finds himself wanting to talk about it. He wants to bring that up, revisit their past and where they are now — the books, the park, his job, and just what kinds of stories he likes now — but he closes his mouth and doesn’t let any of that out.

He doesn’t realize his lips are still pressed together in a line until he feels Yoongi’s hand on his, and he gasps them open in surprise.

“Tae?”

Taehyung drifts his eyes away from the brake lights shining through the windshield, but they're not the reason why his cheeks burn red. Yoongi is holding his hand — like he hasn't since he moved, not even the day they confessed. But as soon as Taehyung's glance falls on him, Yoongi lets go. Taehyung feels a sting of rejection, and he wants to ask him to put it back because that felt warm and different and familiar — all of it at the same time — but he doesn't know how to do that. So he snaps his head back, watching as the car in front of him starts moving again. “I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?”

“Can you pull over?”

What?

For a split second, Taehyung feels like his body is made of stone. He freezes while his heart races to an uneven beat. But then he feels Yoongi’s touch again, palm resting against the back of his hand, and that’s enough to stop him from spiraling — although it also takes his breath away.

Okay. Maybe Yoongi thought he wasn't paying attention to driving. Taehyung swallows down the lump on his throat and nods, not trusting his voice to speak, to reassure him that he was or apologize for not listening. Hell, maybe he's even right.

Taehyung stops the car after a couple of turns, but before he can muster up the words to start, Yoongi gently laces their fingers together, once again taking him by surprise.

“Taehyung-ah,” he says softly. “I’m nervous too.”

Oh.

So that was it. Taehyung feels the air get punched out of his lungs, and then he exhales, blinking before meeting Yoongi’s eyes. That’s Yoongi. His date, his friend. Taehyung squeezes his hand. It’s barely smaller than his now. It fits perfectly.

(As it always did, even when Yoongi’s hands were bigger.)

They used to hold hands a lot. Taehyung would drag Yoongi everywhere he went, and Yoongi would follow after him without a second thought. It was them against the world.

“I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.” Taehyung huffs.

“Nothing,” Yoongi says firmly.

“It’s our first date.”

“Mhm.” Yoongi nods. “But first dates can start a little awkward, too. In fact, most do.”

“But that’s—” Taehyung stops himself.

“What?” Yoongi coaxes, pulling Taehyung’s hand closer to his side. “Tell me.”

“It’s our first date,” Taehyung repeats. “First dates are about getting to know someone, right? But it’s weird because I know you. I know all about your family. I know about the house you grew up in. I know about the first time you broke a bone. I was there with you, I held your hand exactly like this, all the way to the hospital. I know about Jimin, and I know about your work. But at the same time, there are gaps… so many.”

“Why don’t we start with those, then?”

“Because,” Taehyung takes a deep breath, stammering a little. “Because I have gaps too. And if we fill in the blanks now, I just… I don’t know.”

Yoongi nods, seeming to contemplate it for a second. Taehyung isn’t sure of what exactly he’s trying to say, either — or why he’s trying to hide it with a half-assed attempt at small talk. His conversation with Jimin dances in the back of his mind, except the big picture is still cloudy.

(Until Yoongi draws it out of him.)

“Tae, we can talk about anything, it doesn’t have to be—”

“No, we can’t,” Taehyung rebukes.

Yoongi frowns. “Why not?”

“Because we’ll fight!” Taehyung shouts, startling himself, his lips hanging open as his chest rises up and down, eyes open wide.

“Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi says, using his free hand to cup Taehyung’s cheek. “We will fight. Someday, sure. But I don’t think we’ll fight tonight.”

Yes.

“I know, b-ut… what if we do? I don’t want you to leave.”

Taehyung’s whisper speaks volumes, and he feels tears building up, clouding his eyes. His confession comes out in a shaky breath that makes his voice break, but not as much as seeing the hint of pain twisting Yoongi’s lips down.

That’s what it’s all been about; not fighting, or opening up, or filling the gaps. It’s not about either of them changing. It’s not about any differences they might have, either. It’s about what all or any of those might lead to.

(Being left behind.)

“At some point, we’ll fight,” Yoongi says clearly. “We can’t beat the odds, it’s gonna happen. Many times, maybe. We’ll fight, or at least we’ll disagree. It might even be better to fight than to let things drift like we did. Relationships aren’t easy. But I’m not going anywhere, Tae. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.” Taehyung shakes his head.

“But I’m promising anyway,” Yoongi vows regardless, “and I won’t break it.”

Taehyung feels his eyes brimming with tears, but he doesn’t let them shed. He needed to hear that. He knows that doesn’t mean they won’t ever break up, or that this new relationship will work out. But he takes that to mean exactly what he needs those words to mean right now.

(They’ll try.)

“I won’t let go of your hand,” Yoongi says.

Taehyung nods, nestling himself in Yoongi’s arms, ignoring the armrest poking on his ribs and their hands still joint, bent weirdly between them.

“Okay,” he agrees.

Taehyung loses track of how long they stay like that, hugging in a comforting hug, yet in an uncomfortable position in the front seat of the car. But when he goes back to driving, it's not through an awkward silence anymore.

And above the music, they talk.

If Taehyung wasn’t sure why Yoongi didn’t want him to see pictures of the restaurant before, the second they walk out of the elevator and reach the rooftop lounge, he understands.

It’s a garden. A restaurant amongst flowers, hidden in the middle of Seoul. Nature, surrounded by an urban landscape, with the sky raising the ceiling miles above them.

A grass path circles the sidelines, and a wooden structure stands high beyond the tables — fairy lights hang over their heads, and a deck runs under their feet. It’s beautiful. Each level seems to have different kinds of flowers, different colors shining on each corner. And at the end, a glass panel marks a small fountain that drops from a pipe on the wall and falls on white pebbles.

Something about it reminds Taehyung of Daegu Arboretum and the spring flower festivals.

“Hyung,” Taehyung says in awe. “It’s perfect.”

“It really is,” Yoongi agrees with a smile, his eyes never leaving Taehyung’s. “And the best part is… we have the place to ourselves tonight.”

“Wait, what?” Taehyung exclaims, whirling around, finally noticing they’re alone between the flowers — only a few members of the restaurant’s staff hanging by the door behind them.

“The opening is next week.”

“But then… how?”

“We’re not trespassing, don’t worry. I know the owner. It’s just us,” Yoongi says, pulling Taehyung by the hand towards the table before the raised garden bed with white roses.

Taehyung nods, suddenly speechless, letting Yoongi guide the way as his mind takes care of processing.

This place is pure art. And he can’t help the images forming within him. He thinks about the lighting and the shadows cast on the deck. He thinks about the rough texture of the potted boxes and the softness of the petals. He paints the rooftop with his eyes, trying to capture the details, filling the blank canvas inside his head.

Undoubtedly, Taehyung enjoys the scenery, but the view is just the background.

Had he had a brush in his hands, the star of his painting would be Yoongi. His sparkling eyes, made small by his gummy smile. Hair falling over his forehead, the cotton jumper creating the perfect contrast with the metal rings on his fingers and the piercings in his ear.

He'd use gentle curves and a lot of colors — the mood entirely set by how warm he feels as Yoongi keeps holding him, their hands tied together as they reach the table.

Ever since Taehyung started teaching — as much as he loves it and as much as he's strived for it — he began wondering if that's all his art would ever last for. If he's only meant to teach and not create. His mind plunged him into a block, and no amount of will was proving enough to pull him out of it.

But he feels the air changing now, in the way the hair in his arm raises, and the urge to pick up a brush is almost about existing.

Yoongi planned their date and unknowingly gifted him something extra: inspiration.

Taehyung bites on his lips, but this time, it’s only to bite down his smile because he fears his lips might burst if it grows any wider.

“Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung says, “thank you.”

“Worth the wait?”

Taehyung hums. “Every second.”

No matter how nervous he was for this date or how much anxiety he had to push back before he confessed, the sleepless nights and internal screaming, it was all worth it — though, honestly, it was worth it before they even set foot in the building, awkwardly talking inside the car. Being with Yoongi makes Taehyung realize that Jimin was right; they needed this. Now he has to follow his words, sit back and enjoy it.

(Have a good time.)

They order different dishes, picking their options from the short menu version available to them, all of it looking quite delicious.

And as they wait, Taehyung learns how Yoongi met Haesoo, the owner of the restaurant.

Yoongi shares what it was like working with Jungjae — Haesoo's husband — as the editor of his most treasured novel. And he tells Taehyung all about the book signing they held at the bookstore. How Jimin gushed over their dog for every second he stayed at the event — and how he bought two copies as soon as he realized the dog was the hero of the story.

Of course, then Taehyung fills him in on how one of those copies is now sitting on a bookshelf at his apartment.

(And how much he liked it.)

“I still have an entire folder with Sun’s pictures on my computer,” Taehyung admits. Jimin had sent him dozens of pictures that day, a few with Yoongi in the back, which back then Taehyung chose to ignore — a few of which he even deleted. Now, he wants nothing more than to have those back.

“That sounds like Jimin,” Yoongi says.

Taehyung nods. “I’m surprised he’s never brought any pets home from the shelter.”

“Honestly? Me too,” Yoongi agrees with an amused giggle. “I think that’s bound to happen, though. It’s just a matter of time.”

“Why do you think he hasn’t yet?” Taehyung wonders.

“I don’t know, really,” Yoongi considers with a curious frown. “But I guess he wouldn’t want to adopt a pet and then not have time to spend with the little one.”

Taehyung finds it endearing the way he says that, and he doesn’t hide the smile playing on his lips. “You should definitely expect a new addition as soon as he graduates, then. You do know he has a list of names he carries in his wallet?”

Yoongi laughs out loud. “I know. I’ve added some suggestions there myself. He uses it for the strays they rescue there.”

Taehyung admires the way Yoongi talks about Jimin; bright eyes and plain happiness dancing behind his gaze. Jimin talks about him the same way, and Taehyung realizes how natural it was, falling for Yoongi. Seeing him through Jimin's eyes was like shining a light on something that was already longing to bloom inside.

(And now here they are.)

“We could come back with Jimin for the opening,” Taehyung says in a spur, not holding back the thought as it fleets through his mind. “Or just as soon as he’s done with this battery of tests.”

It’s the perfect timing.

Jimin still has a few more weeks until he finishes his long veterinary program. He got into SNU before Taehyung did, but his course was two years longer, and he failed a couple of classes — which he successfully did over, but that landed him here. Taehyung finds it impressive how well Jimin adjusted and how he handles it all now.

It took a while, but he seems to have mastered his time.

Bringing Jimin here together would be more than just celebrating and giving him strength for the rest of the semester, though. It would prove that he won't have to worry about juggling between his boyfriends anymore. And maybe a little voice inside Taehyung's head tells him it might be a little too soon for him to be making plans like this with Yoongi, but it's easy not to listen when it feels this right.

“Of course,” Yoongi says softly. “I’d really like that, Tae.”

Taehyung feels himself nodding with his whole body, and happiness washes over him.

They talk about Jimin and how they’re looking forward to having him join them for dates. Only this time, Taehyung doesn’t bring him up because it’s safe. It’s because he wants him to be a part of this. It’s because he loves him, and Yoongi loves him too. It’s because he wants to share this feeling and show him how happy he is, knowing that will make him just as happy too.

The food arrives, and they move from one topic to another, going over many happy memories of their past. And whenever silence falls, it isn’t awkward anymore.

It’s just quiet and comforting.

(Like watching the sun setting in the sky.)

Their conversation flows easily as the night darkens, and they end up talking for what feels like hours.

Taehyung relaxes, and as his nerves settle, something else finds room to grow in his thoughts. He looks at Yoongi under the city lights, and when he speaks, Taehyung’s eyes drift to his lips, making the butterflies in his stomach fly higher. And the anxiety that sweeps over him isn’t that of hesitating, just anticipation.

He wants to kiss Yoongi.

(That’s simple.)

The part that makes him wonder, though, is what's going to happen after that — what their relationship will enhance. Will they be all over each other like him and Jimin? Or will it be about subtle touches, bantering, and kind words, closer to what Jimin and Yoongi have? Will it be like tonight, where the past is somehow loud? Or is it going to be something else entirely?

So much has changed.

When they were growing up, Yoongi would hold his hand, and Taehyung would make sure to hug him whenever he was happy or sad. Yoongi would pretend to be annoyed, but Taehyung would feel his hands on the small of his back, keeping him there. Now, Taehyung has more questions than answers, but he knows for sure that he wants Yoongi close. For better or worse. And the older must feel the same way because the second their plates are gone from the table — and they’re once again alone — Yoongi stands up and holds out his hand.

“Come on,” he prompts gently, head beckoning to the flowers.

Taehyung smiles. “Lead the way.”

They walk the deck, going around the empty tables, and Taehyung takes his time watching the flowers, picking up his phone when a breeze makes them sway just right. His and Jimin’s faces light up in the background as he unlocks the screen, and Taehyung draws in a long breath — with a second look at his wallpaper giving him the strength he needs to turn around.

He takes a step back and aims his phone at Yoongi.

“Hyung, smile.”

“Aish, Taehyung-ah!” Yoongi roars but doesn’t deny it, showing his teeth a second later, a hand flying to the nape of his neck. “One.”

Taehyung nods, adjusting the frame as Yoongi blushes. The fairy lights reflect on his eyes, making his gaze shine, and it’s exactly like the picture Taehyung had in mind. “Pretty,” he compliments, welcoming the warmth that travels from his cheeks to his ears, his expression mirroring Yoongi’s as he presses the button.

“Let me see,” Yoongi says and raises his hand, letting his palm hang open midair.

Taehyung lowers the phone into his grasp, watching him with a fond smile, but instead of searching the gallery, Yoongi suddenly points the camera at him and snaps a picture, the click sound effect echoing around them.

“Hyung, that’s not fair!” Taehyung huffs. “You didn’t warn me.”

Yoongi hums, walking closer until they’re standing right in front of each other by the railing, the grass path starting right beside them. “And how is it fair that you look like this without warning?” he asks, raising the phone to Taehyung’s eye level.

Taehyung holds the phone over Yoongi’s hand, seeing himself on the screen.

There’s a blush on his cheeks, and his lips are parted open, but Taehyung doesn’t know if it was the millisecond of surprise because of the picture or just how in awe he was looking at Yoongi before he reacted to the snap. The lights flare bright in the background, and the breeze that had swayed his hair made the tips float in waves.

(He looks in love.)

The sight makes him feel vulnerable — exposed somehow — with his feelings out in the open, so he steers his eyes away from the screen as he picks up the phone and slides it back into his pocket. Yoongi’s words fall to the back of his mind, and he opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out before he closes it again, seeing the way Yoongi’s dark eyes burn yellow with the lights.

All he can think is that he really, really, wants to kiss him under the night sky.

But asking comes with its own set of baggage that Taehyung must first put aside — or, in this case, as he quickly decides, push through it.

“I—” Taehyung starts, trying not to stammer again, swallowing the lump on his throat as he averts his eyes to the streets of Seoul, a sigh escaping his lips. He doesn’t want things to be awkward, but he hopes they’re on the same page now. And that they can flip to the next one together. “Remember how I used to ask you to teach me how to kiss?”

Yoongi chuckles at the memory, and Taehyung breathes easier, knowing he hasn’t messed up by bringing that up.

“I’d always say no,” Yoongi recalls. “Used to think you’d regret it, wasting your first kiss like that. I wanted yours to be special.”

Taehyung remembers asking him. A couple of times, then a couple of times after.

He’d pout and complain because he was curious, and it was just a kiss. He wanted to know what it was like, and Yoongi was his best friend. He had done it before, knew how to do it, and he’d make him feel safe. Except Yoongi wanted it to mean something after his own didn’t.

Back then, Taehyung just wanted to experience something new. But he sees it now.

“It would’ve been special with you.”

Taehyung’s quiet confession makes Yoongi turn around, but Taehyung doesn’t mirror, keeping his forearms pressed against the guardrail and his eyes on the city.

“Was it? Special? Your first kiss,” Yoongi asks cautiously. He wasn’t there when it happened.

Taehyung shrugs. “Not really…”

In fact, he hardly remembers it. Not special at all. With a random person that he never saw again, at a random party he didn’t really care about.

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi apologizes, brushing off the thoughts of his so-called rebel phase away.

“It’s fine,” Taehyung answers, turning around to reassure him.

“I was going to kiss you goodbye the day I left,” Yoongi reveals abruptly, a mirthless laugh shaping his lips.

Taehyung blinks, the surprise making his heart race as he mumbles a small “huh?” in response to Yoongi’s confession.

“I wanted to tell you I’d be back to spend my birthday with you,” Yoongi continues. “And that we’d talk every day and that it’d be okay, but you never showed up. I didn’t know you hadn’t gotten my message, so I waited. Mom had to drag me out to the airport...”

Again, Taehyung is left speechless. He had no idea.

His heart threatens to shrink a little, but Yoongi takes his hand to keep on speaking.

“It’s okay. I’m not sad now,” he asserts. “I do wish we’d done things differently, but I was a dumb sixteen-year-old who didn’t know any better. I was angry at my mom and the world, and then I got mad at you when really I was just hurting too.”

“Hyung,” Taehyung whispers.

“No, Taehyung-ah. I didn’t bring that up for us to get all bittersweet,” Yoongi interrupts him, flashing him a genuine smile as his voice goes back up. “It’s because I want to ask you something.”

Taehyung cocks his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. “What?”

They’re close enough for Taehyung to see the faint mole on Yoongi’s cheek and the smaller one on his nose, but he still takes another step forward when Yoongi shifts closer. He waits for Yoongi’s request, hoping he’ll be the one to ask him for a kiss this time. His eyes travel to his mouth to watch him speak, and he thinks about all the times he’s thought about this moment.

Once, he wanted to see what kissing was like. Now he knows. And what he wants is Yoongi.

“I know you’ve had good kisses after that first one,” Yoongi says, making Taehyung raise an eyebrow at the unexpected start. “Jimin,” Yoongi clarifies with a crooked smile and a twitch of his shoulders. “But— can you just for a second, pretend that this is it? Your first... a do-over?”

Taehyung giggles, nodding along.

They can’t change the past, and this won’t erase what went wrong between them nor anything else that came after that, but they can make this moment special — which will be, no matter how they do it. So Taehyung happily obliges.

This might not be his or Yoongi’s first kiss, but it’s theirs.

Taehyung lets Yoongi take the lead, and soon he feels his touch, hands resting on his cheeks. He hums when their eyes settle on each other, and it almost sounds like a purr, but he doesn’t care. He likes the way his legs go weak.

Yoongi isn’t as tall as him, but he easily reaches up, making Taehyung melt under the gentle weight of another mouth on his.

Their eyes fall shut at the same time, and Taehyung sighs into the kiss, prompting Yoongi to change the angle, taking his bottom lip.

It feels like a dream, only better. Yoongi pecks his lips twice before pulling back, and it's clear what he's doing. Taehyung understands why he's holding back, moving slowly as if not to spook him: he’s giving him his first kiss. Taehyung wants to play along, but he can't help leaning down for more, the corner of his mouth curving into a smile when Yoongi gives it to him, brushing their lips together before softly nibbling on them.

“Mm,” Taehyung breathes out content, opening his eyes. “So that’s what it would’ve been like.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi answers, thumb caressing Taehyung’s skin.

“It would’ve been perfect,” Taehyung says, thankful for the way Yoongi keeps holding him. “It was,” he corrects himself. Once and again. “It is.”

Taehyung has no idea which one of them moves first, but a second later, their lips are already connected, hands yearning to get a hold of each other.

Still, Yoongi explores without intruding, their noses brushing together when he tilts his head, and Taehyung mirrors. He tastes sweet — like the wine he sipped from the glass they shared, but unlike the drink, there’s nothing sour about this kiss.

Taehyung notices how different it feels than kissing Jimin, but not in a way he can compare. It’s like different keys, opening different doors, that in the end lead to the same land.

Yoongi tentatively traces the curve of his lips, waiting for his permission to deepen the kiss. And soon, Taehyung gives it to him, pressing against his chest, wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s back. His movements aren’t eager or impatient. Instead, Yoongi moves slowly, like he’s still pining over him, yearning for their lips to linger.

Yoongi’s fingers curl on the nape of his neck, and Taehyung lets his own dig over Yoongi’s jumper, his heart pounding against his ribcage, a breathless sigh warming his skin when he pulls back for air.

Taehyung thinks about how much things have changed, yet how a lot still feels the same.

(Complicated.)

So, for now, he chooses to ignore the way his body responds to Yoongi's touch.

He doesn't want to talk about it — or acknowledge it even — so he simply slows down, loosening his grip, eyes opening to seek Yoongi’s understanding. Thankfully, Yoongi gets the message without him having to say it, tucking his hair behind his ear, pressing one last kiss on the corner of his lips before just holding him.

Taehyung wonders what Yoongi assumes out of that, but he doesn’t ask him. Once again, he just silently questions what he must know — or what Jimin might’ve told him over the years.

But the image of Jimin suddenly makes another thought replace his musings, and Taehyung bursts out a laugh.

“What?” Yoongi questions, throwing him a curious glance.

“We’re on a date,” Taehyung says it like it’s obvious. “And it feels like a date because I can’t wait to tell Jimin about it. I can’t wait to tell my boyfriend I kissed another boy, and it felt like heaven.” He almost regrets how raw that sounds, how his thoughts come out unfiltered and sappy, but Yoongi laughs with him.

“Me too.”

And just like that, Taehyung can’t find it in him to regret it.

(It feels right.)

It feels good to think about what awaits them, too.

There's a lot to figure out, but if tonight is any indication, then there's also nothing to worry about. And even if they might not need Jimin to smooth things along anymore, Taehyung is sure that neither of them would have it any other way.

He looks behind him when a door swings open afar, but the staff doesn’t get into his line of sight, so he gives himself a little longer to enjoy this. He holds Yoongi’s hand, still curled up against him, and above them, he sees the moon hiding behind a cloud.

“Tae?” Yoongi breaks the comfortable silence that settles a minute later.

“Mm?” Taehyung murmurs.

Yoongi seems to hesitate for a second, but Taehyung doesn’t pressure him for what he chooses to hold back. He can be patient too. And what he does end up saying is enough.

“I’m happy we’re here,” Yoongi whispers.

Taehyung hugs him tighter at that, letting his heart speak loud. “Me too.”

That night, Taehyung falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He usually has a hard time sleeping, but even without Jimin, he has one of the best night’s sleep he’s had in a while, only hugging an extra pillow.

And in the morning, after he wakes up and strides to the kitchen, he sees a yellow post-it on his fridge, right next to a picture of him and Jimin. “Good morning, beautiful! Left kimchi, have breakfast! Love you (call me!) xx.” Taehyung laughs and checks his phone, Jimin’s messages blipping on the screen.

He spends over an hour with him talking — getting ready for work as Jimin’s voice echoes from the speaker. Jimin asks how it went and how he’s feeling, and Taehyung tells him all about the date, filling him in on everything, getting almost giddy as he remembers. He learns how Yoongi, according to Jimin, got home “smiling all silly,” and how happy he seemed.

Yoongi texts him later, and by the evening, Taehyung wonders how it can be possible that he already misses them.

The three of them talk every day, but Taehyung doesn’t see either of them during the week. Yoongi finds out that they’ll only manage a table at the restaurant in around two weeks, but before Taehyung can get upset, Yoongi suggests something perfect for their weekend.

Yoongi:
Iced americano, dalgona coffee, hot cocoa.
How does that sound?

Taehyung answers quickly, smiling to himself.

Yoongi:
Saturday? Brunch?

Yoongi:
Perfect!
We’ll make it work, okay?

Taehyung knows Jimin has a lot to study, Yoongi has tons of work piled up between the bookstore and the publishing house, and he has classes to plan and reports to write himself. But they’re trying, and that means a lot. Besides, if he’s being honest, having their first date, the three of them together, at home, truly feels kind of perfect on its own.

Between their busy schedules, messages, and phone calls, Saturday comes by fast.

And when it does, it feels like the first day of school all over again, and Taehyung wakes up before his alarm, the clock marking five-thirty in the morning.

He doesn’t bother with trying to go back to sleep.

Instead, he gets up to clean the apartment, then stops to set up a few of his new art supplies. Much like the car, the apartment was also his father’s bidding — him being the actual owner of two floors in the building — so the rent Taehyung has to pay him is less than anyone would ever pay for a place like this. It’s nice and not a big deal with his family owning such a big business back home, but once again, he only accepted with the intent of making his brother’s life as a single parent easier.

Sometimes, it feels a little empty, though.

Taehyung loves having Jihyun over, but that hasn’t happened in a while, and he loves when Jimin stays, but that's been even rarer. So most days, it gets a little too empty for him alone.

(That makes today extra special.)

He checks up on Seokjin and answers to the many pictures of Jihyun in space buns with emojis, but he doesn’t tell his brother about Yoongi yet. The two of them used to be friends too, but as far as Taehyung is concerned, they haven’t talked since Yoongi moved. And the only reason Yoongi even knew about Jihyun was their families still being close back at Daegu.

Taehyung doesn’t know how Seokjin will react to the news, so he might as well wait to tell him.

When the clock strikes seven, he decides to take a quick shower, changing into comfortable clothes then going for the canvas by the window. He puts an apron over his oversized black t-shirt and calls it quits, adding only a headband to keep his hair away from his face while he paints. Jimin has been calling it their “cuddle day,” so there’s no reason to get fancy.

(Though he does set aside a change of clothes, just in case they decide to go out later.)

The painting sitting on the easel is not that of the rooftop restaurant, but one of Daegu Arboretum, gradually morphing into the Han River. It’s something Taehyung has been working on for the last couple of days, sketching the shapes into the canvas to which he now fills with colors.

He loses track of time, and before he realizes it, his doorbell is ringing, the high-pitched sound startling him, making him curse quietly. He drops the brush in a clumsy attempt to settle it onto the jar, marking the floor with blue paint before putting it back where it belongs. He hasn’t even noticed his phone vibrating, the alarm slipping to the back of his mind — or maybe he’d forgotten it on silent.

Either way, he yanks the apron out and rushes to the door, a wave of anxiety suddenly washing over him with tidal force.

Should he kiss them both hello? Who should he go to first? Should he hug them? What should he say? He freezes under the pressure of not knowing what to do, hand stopping on the doorknob as he stares at the lock. It’s only when they ring again that he finally manages to crack the door open, hesitating by the doorframe, not wanting to make a mistake.

Jimin and Yoongi look back at him, standing side by side. Jimin has two drinks in his hands and a bag hanging from his forearm, while Yoongi has a tight grip on his iced americano, a backpack weighing on his shoulder, and his free hand circling Jimin’s waist.

They look cozy, too.

(Taehyung wants to hug them, but instead, he waits still.)

“Morning, baby,” Jimin greets him with his usual bright smile, handing Taehyung his cup, the hot cocoa warming up his palm. “We have pancake mix!” he adds excitedly, raising the bag up in the air before planting a quick kiss on Taehyung’s cheek, circling him to hop towards the kitchen, letting his shoes slide by the entry.

Taehyung giggles, watching him with a fond smile, his happiness too endearing not to break the ice.

“Morning! Thank you!”

He notices Yoongi’s eyes following Jimin too, and after a second of considering it without any eyes on him, Taehyung decides to take a step forward, silently offering to help. Yoongi nods, handing Taehyung the heavy-and-filled-with-books-backpack before walking inside and closing the door behind him.

“Hi, hyung,” Taehyung says, holding his cup with both hands.

Yoongi smiles at him. “Hi, Tae! Were you painting this early?”

Taehyung looks down at his shirt, opening his arms, automatically looking for paint splashes, but Yoongi shakes his head. “Here,” he says, raising his hand. “On your neck.”

Yoongi’s fingers brush against his skin, and Taehyung has to fight the urge to close his eyes at the contact. But too soon, Yoongi pulls back, showing him the blue paint on his thumb. “Done,” he states, making cute dimples show up on the corner of his mouth as he smiles with his lips closed.

Taehyung doesn’t think, then, reaching out for Yoongi’s wrist, then pressing a quick peck to his lips.

His mouth is cold, and it tastes like coffee, but Taehyung smiles, ignoring the way his cheeks start to burn when Yoongi kisses him back. “Good morning, hyung,” he whispers, biting his bottom lip, unaware of Jimin’s endeared expression on the other side.

“Good morning, Taehyung-ah!”

Taehyung sips on his hot cocoa, the chocolate sweet on his tongue, warmth traveling down his throat. He takes Yoongi’s free hand and motions to the kitchen. “Come on. I heard we have pancake mix!”

By the time Taehyung finds a place for their books and Yoongi washes the paint from his hand, Jimin already has all the ingredients lined up on the counter — plus peanut butter, jam, and fruits; kimchi, eggs, and toast, too.

They divide the tasks without any issues.

Yoongi takes charge of the pancake mix. Jimin and Taehyung split the fruits, chopping strawberries and bananas into a plate. And while they each handle their part, Jimin talks about his week at the shelter and the sweet calico cat he almost brought home — Gaeul, he’s named her. Taehyung and Yoongi exchange a glance while Taehyung forces down a laugh, the conversation on their date night still fresh in his mind.

They fall into a good rhythm, and Yoongi has most of the pancakes ready when Taehyung gets his half of the fruits done.

Taehyung mentions the camping trip the school has planned for the kids and the face painting challenge he wants to run, like he did with Jihyun and she loved — meaning she walked around with butterfly wings around her eyes and had Taehyung wearing tiger stripes.

Jimin’s reaction is priceless.

“You what? And I never got pictures? Not even one?” Jimin says dramatically, sulking his lips into a pout. “That’s it. We’re breaking up. For real, don’t even think about continuing our friendship.”

Taehyung shrugs mischievously, dismissing it with a wave. “Let me paint yours, then. I’ll do mine again, and you’ll see.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Jimin continues with a huff. “Don’t you know me? If I knew that had happened, I would have asked.”

Taehyung laughs. Honestly, he doesn't remember why he didn’t take any pictures — he would've sent them if he had. Most likely, he filled his camera roll with Jihyun's butterfly wings, forgot to take any of himself, then let her paint over his face with her fingers before they moved on to the next thing.

“Hyung, help,” Jimin says, calling out for Yoongi, still not satisfied with the explanation Taehyung gives — though clearly just having fun with them, barely keeping a straight face.

“Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi says with a pause, turning off the stove as the last pancake falls on the pile. “Don’t listen to him, Jiminie is too spoiled.”

Jimin’s mouth gaps open. “Oh, that’s how you wanna play it?”

Taehyung gives Yoongi a high-five, but it takes only a few seconds for him to attach himself to Jimin’s back. “I’ll paint whatever you want, silly,” he whispers into his ear, feeling comfortable, happy, and at ease.

It’s so natural to be touchy with Jimin that he doesn’t even think about it.

His body moves on its own. He spontaneously hugs him, kissing his shoulder, then nibbling on his exposed skin. Jimin feeds him a strawberry just as instinctively, and Taehyung hums before tilting Jimin’s chin to plant a kiss on his lips. He wraps his arms around Jimin’s waist, and everything is great.

But then he’s suddenly aware of Yoongi’s eyes on them.

Their eyes cross, and he instantly lets go of Jimin’s waist, taking a step back, awkwardly standing behind him instead, feeling the tension in the air, though no oxygen enters his lungs. Yoongi must notice how he stiffens, even if he isn’t sure if Jimin does, the movement happening out of his sight.

“Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi says, calling for him. “Can you show me where everything is so we can set the table while Jimin finishes this up?”

Fuck. Is it ruined?

Taehyung nods, his mind screaming from freeze to flight, his feet already moving to the table in the other room. He notices as Yoongi squeezes Jimin’s forearm, but he doesn’t give it much thought, looking away when Jimin whispers something to the older in return.

(He wants to run and hide.)

The cabinet is right next to the wood dining table, but instead of rummaging for utensils, he sinks down on the matching bench — Yoongi’s request slipping away from his thoughts.

He doesn’t even notice Yoongi crouching down in front of him until he feels his palms resting gently on his knees.

“Tae?”

Taehyung hums as a query upon hearing Yoongi’s whisper.

Yoongi seeks his hand. “Can I sit?”

Taehyung nods. He froze, then he fled. Now they’ll fight. “Yeah.”

Yoongi sits on the small bench with him, but he doesn’t let go of his hand, rubbing a comforting pattern on his back instead. “You can talk to me,” he urges quietly, and even if the door is still open not too far, Taehyung knows Jimin won’t listen.

(This isn’t about him.)

Taehyung reaches for the pocket in Yoongi’s pants, playing with the open flap to distract himself as he collects his thoughts, and Yoongi waits. It takes a while to feel like his brain can function again, but at some point, he does. Because he realizes this isn’t a fight. And he knows why Yoongi followed him there, so there’s no point in playing games or acting clueless.

“I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do what?” Yoongi asks, his voice laced with confusion under a frown that Taehyung doesn’t see because he keeps his eyes on the fabric he’s still playing with, folding it back to back.

“Make myself stop overthinking.”

(At least, that’s what he thinks happened now that he’s stopped himself from spiraling.)

Yoongi tries to weave his reaction together. “Did it bother you that I was there while you were kissing and hugging Jimin?”

“No,” Taehyung answers right away, shaking his head. That wasn’t it. “I guess I just got scared again.”

“Of what?”

This time, Taehyung sees the way Yoongi narrows his eyes, trying to understand what he’s saying. But the problem is, he hardly understands it himself. He hates that Yoongi has to try and plunge it out of him. He hates that his words stay stuck somewhere he can’t read them — and that talking is this hard.

He draws in a sharp breath and tells himself he’s done with that. He’s fucking tired of it, actually. He just needs to say whatever and then deal with the consequences.

They’ve been over this.

Why does he keep going back to it, dammit?

(What is he still so afraid of?)

“I was afraid you’d feel left out because I reached for Jimin,” Taehyung tries, but something in the back of his mind tells him this isn’t exactly it yet. So he tries again. “Or… I thought about you kissing Jimin, and what would I do then?”

Better.

“I thought it was cute, Taehyung-ah. I wasn’t feeling left out,” Yoongi reassures him. “But if I were, I’d have said something, not fight nor leave.” Taehyung nods. He knows, and he doesn’t know why his brain keeps insisting otherwise. But Yoongi continues, trying to help him figure it out. “Would it have bothered you if I had kissed or hugged Jimin like that while you were around?”

Taehyung shakes his head.

“No.”

Yoongi purses his lips. “And if it did… if I’m kissing Jimin and you feel left out, and you want us to kiss you and hug you too, or if you feel anything bad, would you tell us?”

Taehyung shakes his head again.

“I don’t know.”

Yoongi scoots closer, making Taehyung look at him by cupping his cheeks. “Taehyung, listen to me,” he demands. “Your feelings matter just as much as mine or Jimin’s. If anything bothers you, you have to tell us.”

“I know that,” Taehyung replies. “I just… I don’t know.”

They stay silent for a few seconds, then Yoongi’s voice grows impossibly quieter. “Tae.” He hesitates. “What can I do to prove to you that I’m not going anywhere? To prove that I do want this. That I want us.”

“What about sex?”

Oh.

Taehyung surprises himself with the spur-of-the-moment sex talk outburst — which, ironically for him, is an incredibly relevant conversation to have. He makes a motion to pull his hand out of Yoongi’s grip, feeling embarrassed, wanting to cover up his face. And Yoongi does let him, but he also moves closer to hug him instead, prompting him to hide in the crook of his neck.

“What about it?” Yoongi asks cautiously.

Taehyung presses his lips together, feeling them starting to shake.

That is definitely it. Sex, of all things. The dilemma that keeps clouding his judgment, making him second-guess them — making him question everything and doubt a thousand more. The thing that keeps making his head scream that Yoongi might leave — which deep down he knows is not true.

Jimin was right in saying Yoongi wouldn’t pressure him to talk.

Taehyung knows that it’s in his hands to stop or not, but maybe he needs to have this conversation sooner rather than later.

(For himself.)

He inhales, the air around him filled with Yoongi’s scent. He smells like coffee, vanilla and cream. Taehyung wants to answer him, and he does so with the only answer he has right now.

“It’s complicated.”

Yoongi tries to fill in the blank.

“You’re asexual, right? Like Jimin. He hasn’t said it, but—”

“Not like Jimin,” Taehyung interrupts, pulling away from Yoongi’s arms so as not to murmur against his clothes. “I know what it feels like, the attraction. I feel it sometimes, but it’s not loud. It comes and goes, and when it does come, it’s usually not strong enough to make me want to do anything about it. I don’t really care about sex. Jimin and I hardly ever do anything. But you and Jimin have sex all the time, right?”

Yoongi nods slowly.

Suddenly it’s like Taehyung’s inhibitions are gone, and he can look Yoongi in the eyes. He lets it all out, the words flowing from his mouth like a waterfall.

“He likes sex because he finds it fun... like working out. And he likes the intimacy and feeling close. I know he’s explained it to you better than I can. But for me, it’s a little more complicated. Because I might want it and enjoy it, but not always. Not often. I’m somewhere in between, but I’m also miles apart.”

(He hates himself for that sometimes.)

Yoongi intertwines their fingers as if guessing where he’s at. And Taehyung exhales as he listens, taking comfort in their joint hands together in the middle.

“Because Jimin and I have an active sex life, you’re afraid that I might have a problem with you not joining us?” Yoongi guesses.

Taehyung thinks about his words, but he ends up shaking his head. “Maybe a little, but also not really. I think I might be scared of things changing between Jimin and I. I haven’t told him that. Don’t think I’ve realized it until now.”

“How come?”

Now that they’re talking about it, Taehyung finds that it isn’t that hard. It’s not easy, either, but that’s Yoongi. And Yoongi would never make him feel judged or broken or wrong.

“Whenever we’re together, we’re always all over each other,” he explains. “We’re always touching, or holding hands, hugging, kissing even. We’re cuddling, or we’re in each other’s laps… It’s very physical, but for the most part, it’s not sexual.”

“And you feel like with me in the mix that might change?”

This time, Taehyung nods.

“Yeah. And it’s not like I don’t want it, I just— don’t want to blur the lines? I don’t know.”

Yoongi smiles at his metaphor. “I understand, Tae. I’ve talked a lot about those things with Jimin, and I want to hear more about how you feel, too. But all I can promise right now is that I won’t ever let us take away from you and him. Much less take you from yourself and what you’re comfortable with. But for that to work, you’re gonna have to talk to us.”

(He sounds like Jimin.)

“Okay, then also,” Taehyung exclaims before Yoongi thinks he’s finished. If he’s gonna get wet might as well go swimming. “I’m afraid I’ll feel left out. I don’t know how I’ll react when I’m together with you, and then you two set me aside.”

“Taehyung-ah, we won’t do it like that,” Yoongi says with a frown. “I don’t know how we’ll handle it, and I feel like this is a conversation we need to have with Jimin. But I love you. We both do. We don’t ever want you to feel left out.”

Taehyung believes him.

This isn’t the first time Yoongi has said those words to him.

And it doesn't ring any differently, either. He knows that right now, Yoongi doesn't mean that as a confession. He means it as caring — love plain and simple. And Taehyung cares for him just as much. “Love you too, hyung,” he whispers, going back to his arms, feeling lighter, like he can finally breathe. “Thank you.”

Jimin shouts for them less than five minutes later, with the counter ready and organized in the kitchen. Taehyung asks him for a hug, and he joins in without questioning, hugging them both.

And while the food might get cold, Taehyung has never felt warmer.

They spend the morning together, and their date continues past the afternoon, making justice to Jimin’s cute nickname for it.

And even when they take a couple of hours to reach for the books — with Jimin studying, Yoongi reading, and Taehyung writing down his proposal for the school camping trip — they still enjoy it as a date. They focus, and they take small breaks, sharing a funny thought, stopping for snacks, or just recharging together until they pick it up again.

They order food for dinner, and then they find themselves sprawled up on the couch, determined to find something to watch — which turns out to be harder to agree on than anything else they’ve had to decide on the rest of the day.

Taehyung goes first, clicking the buttons without letting them read the blurbs.

Yoongi teases him. “You know, you really shouldn’t judge a movie by its cover.” He used to say that about books, too. But Taehyung would always do so regardless; he always had the heart of an artist, anyway.

“Of course I should. It's what they exist for.”

The cover does matter, is what he’d always say.

Jimin playfully rolls his eyes. “He always does that. You’ll get used to it. Just give it five minutes, and I’ll find something.”

His turn comes, but he doesn’t settle on any pick either. He spends minutes looking, and then he gives up and passes the task on to Yoongi. Which, in turn, suggests three movies that make Jimin scream louder each time.

“No, not again! We’ve watched that already! Twice!”

So they keep passing on the remote.

Taehyung gives up after forty minutes, sitting upside down on the couch, his legs straight against the back, Yoongi beside him, and Jimin on the floor between them, his head resting on the seat, snacks scattered on the coffee table.

“Your fifteen minutes are up, Jimin-ah,” he announces when Jimin comes back to the beginning of the catalog for the second time, extending his hand to take the remote back as he sits up next to Yoongi. “Let me try again.”

“Noo,” Jimin complains, hiding his hands under the table. “I’ll find something cool.”

“Just say you want to watch Lump of Sugar again and go,” Yoongi jokes.

Jimin turns around and sticks out his tongue, but he lets Taehyung have the remote, throwing himself upon their lap as he lets go, his head falling on Taehyung’s thighs, legs on Yoongi’s. “You’re both so annoying teaming up on me,” he pretends to be mad. “You're lucky I love you,” he adds, biting Taehyung’s forearm when he points the control at the television.

Taehyung yelps. “Hey!”

Yoongi pinches Jimin’s thigh, and Jimin presses his knee on his chest as payback, pressing him back on the couch with a laugh.

“Yoongi-yah!” Jimin dares playfully.

Taehyung watches with a curious gaze as they challenge each other to move by just staring.

Somehow, it's like he's seeing them together for the first time; Yoongi and Jimin as a couple, carefree and joyful, without his anxiety clouding him up with thoughts — without wondering where he fits, or even if he might.

(They're his boyfriends — soon to be made official, he’s sure, though it already feels like it.)

He wonders what Yoongi will do, call Jimin a brat, or pinch him again. But to his surprise, Yoongi bends down and kisses Jimin’s bare knee instead, his shorts ending in the middle of his thighs.

“Say that again,” Yoongi whispers, but Jimin just shakes his head.

It’s domestic and cute, and Taehyung can’t tear his eyes away. He lets the remote fall on the cushion and admires the way Yoongi looks at Jimin.

The screen stays frozen in place, but Taehyung doesn’t hesitate when he moves.

He assumed the first time they’d kiss each other together like this would start with Jimin, but in the end, he’s the one who doesn’t hold back, taking the first step. Taehyung leans down, pulling his legs up to raise Jimin’s head closer to his chest, and then he kisses his lips.

Jimin gasps into his mouth, probably just as surprised, but Taehyung feels him raise a hand to his neck, returning the kiss despite Yoongi’s eyes on them. And at this moment, Taehyung has no problem convincing himself that this is simple. They’re on a date. They’ve had a good day. He’s in a good mood. They love each other.

He wants to kiss them both, and so he does.

Taehyung kisses Jimin, opening his mouth to draw him in, and then he pulls back.

(Not to stop, just to check.)

“Is this okay?”

He already knows the look in Jimin’s eyes — he’s already familiar with the smile he flashes him, the partnership written in invisible lines, but Jimin still makes sure to answer. “Mhm.”

His gaze drifts to Yoongi next. “Hyung?”

Yoongi nods, lips slightly parted before he captures Taehyung’s mouth to himself.

Taehyung hears the echoes of his heartbeat. Yoongi’s lips taste like lemon drops, and his own tastes like Jimin’s — like the sweet apple gummy now left forgotten on top of the table. Sweet and sour blend in his mouth, and he grips Jimin’s hoodie.

Jimin caresses his waist over his shirt, but it’s Yoongi who kisses him deeply.

And it fits.

Yoongi pulls on his bottom lip, but when he speaks, their mouths still connected, brushing past each other, he’s not talking to him. “Jimin-ah.”

Jimin instantly understands, pushing himself off the couch, letting Yoongi free to slide without his knees keeping him out.

Taehyung opens his eyes, watching as Jimin moves to straddle him, legs on either side of his thighs, head tilting to the side to try and catch any red lights, but he doesn’t because there aren’t any. Running through Taehyung’s mind, there are no warnings — just the quiet desire to feel them both close.

He lets his hands circle Jimin’s hips, turning to Yoongi when Jimin settles against his neck.

His eyes flutter shut when Yoongi kisses him, and soon Jimin presses a soft kiss under his ear. But as innocent as it is, it still drives Taehyung to react, biting Yoongi’s lips.

Jimin laughs, shaking in his arms, and Taehyung joins him, the puff of air on his neck making it tingle.

“Sorry,” Taehyung murmurs. “His fault,” he points at Jimin.

Yoongi shakes his head with an amused grin, trying to find a better position between the two smiling beings. Even if the couch is more than big enough for them to watch television, it isn’t as comfortable to have them sitting on top of each other without the risk of falling.

(Or maybe they’re just new at this.)

Taehyung sees Yoongi’s eyes scanning them like they’re tetris pieces, so he bites down his laugh and taps Jimin’s waist in an attempt to rearrange them. Jimin jumps from his lap, and Taehyung decides to sit against the armrest, letting Jimin take the place in the middle.

“Okay, good,” Jimin shouts. “Hyung, come kiss me,” he adds as soon as he settles, and Yoongi does find a good spot, sitting on Jimin’s other side — facing Taehyung instead of the television.

Yoongi kisses Jimin, but their kiss doesn’t turn heated.

Taehyung doesn’t know if it was his words earlier — Yoongi’s attempt to make sure he doesn’t feel left out before they can talk — or just him genuinely wandering to him, but as he kisses Jimin, Yoongi reaches out for him.

And when Jimin kisses him, Taehyung hums Yoongi’s name into his mouth, letting out a soft moan when Jimin twirls his tongue above his upper lip.

Taehyung begins to slow down, and Jimin easily picks up on the signs. They breathe each other in, and the sight ignites something in him, but the adrenaline spiking is what keeps his head spinning.

(And maybe the sight of Yoongi’s messy hair, and the way his eyes never leave him.)

They end up cuddling again when Jimin sprawls himself back into Taehyung’s chest, sneakily picking up the remote for himself before throwing his legs on top of Yoongi’s.

“I’ve got it.”

Taehyung smiles when he presses play on cat videos, which unsurprisingly pleases them.

Yoongi keeps one hand laced with Taehyung’s, the other resting on Jimin’s thigh, tracing small circles on his skin. It takes no more than a few minutes like that for Yoongi to lure Jimin to sleep, his head growing heavier as it rests on Taehyung’s shoulder.

(Maybe Jimin was right, and it’s not that different.)

“Hyung,” Taehyung whispers, trying not to wake up Jimin, which Yoongi mirrors.

“Yeah?”

“I’m happy you’re here,” Taehyung says softly, squeezing his hand and holding Jimin closer.

Yoongi nods, shifting to press a light kiss on his cheek and another on Jimin’s forehead. “Me too.”

Maybe his wounds will open again later. Maybe they haven’t yet completely healed. But for now, all Taehyung can process is happiness. He feels Jimin stirring, tugging on his shirt, and he gently shushes him, kissing his forehead the same way Yoongi did, their eyes briefly meeting.

They all know Jimin will go back to studying as soon as he wakes up — which is why they try to keep him sleeping. Taehyung knows they’ll go back to their place later, but that doesn't matter, either.

Because even when they leave, they won’t leave him.

And at last, Taehyung knows just as clearly that when life inevitably throws punches at him, he won’t be alone to take them.

“Hyung?” he whispers again a few minutes later, feeling his eyelids weighing.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Yoongi promptly reassures him. “Go sleep, too. I’ll wake you both up later.” Taehyung doesn’t know if he’s that transparent, or Yoongi is just good at reading him, but that settles it.

He allows his body to sink, and in his dreams, he sees them.

(If soulmates were real, Taehyung likes to believe he’d have two.)