Work Text:
“Was.”
“Was not.”
“How could you know what … he meant, you weren’t even there!” Steve sputtered.
“I know because Rocket told me earlier,” Bucky said, as if the answer was obvious.
“Right, Rocket. Is that… No, I don’t know. Who is that again?”
“The racoon”
“The… racoon,” Steve enounced, slowly. “The racoon told you. Okay, yeah. Totally makes sense.”
“Not more and not less than a fucking talking tree, Steve.”
Steve sighed then ran a hand over his face. “You’re right. This is completely crazy. When did our lives get like this?”
“Oh I don’t know,” Bucky snorted. “How about… aliens? Finding each other 70 later? Sorcerers? A super serum that cured everything except the stupid in your head?” Steve glared at his friend. “Don’t look at me like that punk. You were the one who jumped over a grenade before you got the serum. And that’s not even talking about all the fights you got into without having a chance to win."
"You know perfectly why -"
"Yes, yes, stand up, yada yada yada. Don't try to steer this conversation away. You were plenty stupid before the serum, and that stayed. In fact, it probably got enhanced with everything else."
Steve crossed his arms, suddenly looking very much like he had as a teenager. "You're as bad as I am Buck!"
"I may have my moments, but that's all Hydra's fault. And I'm not nearly half as bad as you are," Bucky retorted with a glare of his own. "Have you already forgotten jumping out of a plane without a chute, trying to catch a helicopter with your bare hands? Also on the dum dum side but less reckless, Natasha told me you'd tried strangling a robot. Did you think it would cut the circulation of electricity or something? What else do we have?" Bucky continued, tapping a finger on his chin. Beside him, Steve's shoulders were rising. "Oh well. Very recent one. Why did you think taking on that purple grape on your own would - AH!"
Bucky never got to finish his sentence, because Steve grabbed him in a headlock, grumbling all the while.
“Oh and apparently” Bucky gasped, getting out of it, “you jumped out of SHIELD’s headquarters, from the 41st floor ?” Bucky said, between fake punches.
“You’ve made your point,” Steve grumbled before tackling Bucky on the floor.
The two men continued roughhousing for a couple minutes, just like they used to do when they were kids, when suddenly a furry face appeared over them both.
“Hey, you alright here? I can’t decide if you are both behaving like children, attempting to train or if this is a mating ritual. Is this a common Terran behaviour? I’ve seen Quill do weirder shit.”
Steve’s elbow slid down completely and both men ended up laying on the ground, limbs tangled. They were both too stunned to react in any way. ‘Cause the raccoon was talking to them, and behind him was the tree, then a blue woman, a green one, a guy that looked like he had markings on his skin and… a young woman … with antennas. What the hell.
The raccoon lifted an eyebrow - or would have done that if he had been human, probably - “Anyway. Sure I can’t buy your arm?”
That dragged Bucky out of his stupor and his squawked an indignated No at Rocket. The raccoon shrugged and started walking, his group trailing behind him.
"I am Groot," the tree said, branches moving around.
"Yes, I know. Damn shame."
Bucky and Steve stayed silent and focused on the group of six until they disappeared from their line of sight, then looked at each other.
"See? I told you, that tree wasn't saying hi!"
“Yeah, you were right.”
“I’m always right punk.”
"Jerk.”
They started fake fighting on the floor again.