Work Text:
INTRODUCTION
9 PM August 21, 2013
It was getting late, he realized. He could tell by how dark it had gotten out so suddenly on this hot summer night. With sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his suspenders laying loosely at his sides, Rafael sat back in his seat and sighed heavily. He looked down at his papers, sprawled carelessly over his desk with his briefcase overturned on its side for easy access. Leaning over, he put his elbows on the cool monogamy wood and placed his head in his hands.
His head was pounding this evening. There was so much work to do, so many things to look over. He shook his head, pushing his palms into his eyes. He could practically feel his blood pressure rising just thinking about all his work that needed to be done. He was loosing patience for this career.
Marcie, his receptionist rapped her thin knuckles against the oak door to his office.
"I’m heading out for the evening, counselor. I hope you don’t mind." She spoke softly.
He rubbed his eyes, head still bowed and nodded “No, you’ve done enough. Thank you. Enjoy your evening, Marcie.”
"You too, counselor. Don’t work too hard." He didn’t look up at her, but he knew she had left. The front door locked and the lights outside his office were now off. Back to work, he thought picking up his pen once more.
•~||~•
7 AM August 22, 2013
“Barba,” Amaro commented, looking up from his desk. “You’re here early.” Barba stopped abruptly in his path and turned to the detective.
"Would you like me to come back later, Detective? Would that be more convenient for you to handle?" Rafael blurted before he thought. Nicks eyebrows knitted together.
"Excuse me." Nick scoffed, looking back at his file. Rafael shook his head. He could feel eyes on him as he made his way to the sergeants office in the back of the precinct. His tired strides didn’t waver as he thought about the tone he had just used. It was uncalled for, yes, but he was operating on little to no sleep. He hadn’t slept last night. He hadn’t slept at all this week actually, and the times where he had he had woken up in a cold sweat. There was so much work to do and not enough time in the day to do it all. The bags under his eyes were getting darker and puffier every morning. His body feeling more fatigued with every step. With a coffee in his hand and a briefcase in the other, Rafael pushed the door of Olivia’s office open to find her hunched over her desk.
“Sergeant.” He addressed, making an effort to sound lighter.
"Counselor," She responded "Can I help you?"
"I heard there might be a new case for me."
“You sure you want to take on another case? You already have your hands full, counselor.” She gestured to the chair opposite of her. “Take a seat.”
“I know what I can handle.” He spoke clearly. “So the new case?”
"Yes," Olivia opened a file near her. "Penelope Proctor, age 23, has a toddler in her custody. She was transported to the hospital last night after suffering from a panic attack at her home in lower Manhattan that she thought was a heart attack. Amaro was the only one on and he did the intake. She claims her boyfriend, Karnel Lorenz - who is the son of the famous Luther Lorenz of Brooklyn 934 Records - had raped her during a family barbecue yesterday."
"I’m sorry, you said her boyfriend?"
"Yes. She claims they’ve been dating for a few years now. Up until last night, everything was consensual. She told Amaro he came up on behind her while she was washing dishes away from his family and tried to seduce her. When she said no, Penelope claimed he then got violent, put his hand over her mouth and dragged her into his room to rape her in front of her son."
"Is the son Lorenz’s?"
“Yes.” Olivia frowned.
"And where is Lorenz now?" Rafael asked.
“Being questioned.This isn’t his first offense. Rollins did some digging before you came. He was accused of a domestic abuse case back 2003 in Omaha, Nebraska.”
"No good." Barba flicked his wrist. "If he wasn’t convicted, the jury won’t take it. Same with this. How can we be sure she isn’t being vindictive of something and the bruising is from rough sex?"
"We can’t." Olivia retorted, "but when a victim comes forward to us and says she was raped, it’s our job to believe them."
“And the rape kit?”
"Comes back positive for him. It is still being processed through. He refuses to admit that he raped her. Says that she’s his girlfriend and you ‘can’t rape your girlfriend.’"
“Ah, the more you know.” Rafael quipped. “Where is the victim?”
“She’s at a shelter with her son. She had been living with Lorenz. We questioned her son as well. He was-…” Olivia was speaking, but suddenly something didn’t feel right. His ears were ringing. It’s like someone was tightening a brace around his chest. He winced, feeling a cold sweat come over him and his breath catch. On the edge of the chair, his knuckles grew white against the leather arm rest and he leaned forward.
“-… Barba? Everything all right?” Olivia leaned forward, rising from her chair. He took a deep shaky breath and just as everything came on, it went away.
He rubbed the center of his chest, “Fine. I’m fine.”
Olivia rounded her desk, “you don’t look fine.”
Rafael looked up, half smiling.
“I’m fine.” He was faking it. And by the unsettling look she was giving him, she didn’t believe him either.
“I have to go. Thank you for the info. Fax me over the files.” He quickly felt the urge to leave. He got up from his seat and grabbed his briefcase and coffee.
"Have a good day, Liv." Just before he reached the doorway, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Rafael,” he’d never heard her call him by his first name and it sent a chill up his spine. “Are you sure you’re doing okay?”
His mouth formed into a tight smile, “I’m fine. Thank you, Liv.”
Leaving her office a moment later, Rafael made a b-line straight for the men’s bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw a thin coat of sweat over his brow. He stuck his finger between his collar and pulled it away before splashing cold water on his face. He felt out of breath. ‘You’re fine.’ He told himself. ‘Just a little anxiety. Or something.’ Despite his reassurance, Rafael still couldn’t shake the feeling that someone bad was going to happen.
•~||~•
1PM August 25, 2013
"Maybe you should schedule a physicians appointment, Mr. Barba?" Marcie suggested from the doorway.
She normally didn’t butt in, but he had felt her presence in his office this morning during another episode. ‘It’s anxiety’ he told himself. But he knew it wasn’t. Marcie had come to give him paper work she had finished about a potential client and found him leaning on his desk, coughing and sweating. When he caught her eye in his doorway, he tried to clear his throat but only made it worse.
“Would you like a drink, counselor?” Marcie had suggested wearily. He shook his head and had sat down in his chair. Now, it was five or so minutes later and he sat in his chair staring up at the decorated ceiling tiles. His chest ached, but he couldn’t tell if it was from coughing or breathing heavily to catch his breathe. Or something else.
“I’m alright. Thank you, Marcie. I’m probably just coming down with something.” Barba said, leaning back in his chair. He stripped himself of his vest, hanging it over the back of his chair. Marcie put the papers on his desk and retreated out of the room with uneasy glances back towards him. Marcie was right, maybe he should make an appointment. Just before he could look through his contacts for his physician, he heard Marcie call out from her desk,
"Mr. Barba, there’s an Olivia Benson on line one."
“Rafael Barba.” He answered.
“Counselor,” Olivia’s voice rang on the other end. “I have some news about the rape kit.”
"I thought you gave me the information?" Barba questioned, getting his legal pad out.
“The lab reports came back this morning, and there was traces of semen in her vaginal canal.”
"Yes? We knew this."
“I mean another sample. Which means that she had intercourse with two separate men in the same evening. And the second sample was a familial match to Lorenz.”
"Interesting." Barba rubbed his shoulder. "I’ll be down in a few minutes."
•~||~•
2:30 PM August 25, 2013
"Penelope," Olivia sat opposite of the victim, her pen perched between her two fingers. "The lab reports came back this morning from the rape kit."
“He raped me in front of my son.” Penelope stated again. Olivia nodded her head understandingly.
"Yes, but there was also another semen sample that came back in the reports." There was a gap of silence.
"Is there anyone else you’re seeing?" Barba interjected, uncharacteristically wringing his fingers together.
A blush crept up Penelope’s face and she shook her head.
"Was there someone else-…?" Olivia began.
"I would never cheat on my fiancé." Penelope responded defensively.
"I thought you weren’t going to marry him after this?" Olivia inquired.
"I-I’ve changed my mind." Penelope said.
“You’re still wearing an engagement ring, I see.” Barba pointed out.
"You still want to marry your rapist?"
"I-I still love him."
“But Penelope, if he hurt you, we need to know. Or if someone else hurt you, …. we need to know.”
Penelope’s eyes glistened over, staring at Olivia.
"I-… I can’t."
“You can’t what, Penelope?”
“I can’t tell you. It’ll ruin -…”
"Ruin what?" Penelope gave a pained look.
Gaps of silence in her breathing as she tried to figure out what to say next.
"It was his father." Penelope broke. "His father raped me. But please dont- don’t tell Karnel! It’ll ruin everything."
“Penelope,” Olivia started, “why didn’t you tell us before?”
“Why did you lie to us?” Rafael hissed.
Olivia placed a gentle hand on his forearm without a glance. Penelope looked between them both, trying to contain herself. Tears were spilling from her eyes and on to her cheeks.
"Because if Karnel knew about his father touching me, he would have a gun to his head in an instant."
"So you accused your boyfriend of raping you instead?" Barba questioned, leaning forward. "None of this makes sense and there is no case. The jury won’t have any of this because you originally lied about your accusation. Do you know what this means?"
“I didn’t mean to…!” Penelope stammered.
“But you did -“
“Barba,” Olivia cut him off, “Can I have a word?”
Olivia stepped out of the office, Rafael tailing closely behind.
"You’re really on edge today, counselor." Olivia touched his shoulder, turning away from a traffic cop passing by.
"Is everything alright?"
“I’m fine.” Barba said defiantly.
"This case? It’s gone to the dogs. I knew she was hiding something when I heard this - …"
"Let me handle it." Olivia told him, holding up two hands.
"Fine." Barba said, gripping his briefcase. "Call me later with the details. I have other things to be doing."
Turning on his heel, Olivia watched him leave the hallway. His body languages seemed different. - tense. More so than normal. She shook her head, running a free hand through her hair before returning to business.
•~||~•
2:30 PM August 26, 2013
"So she lied because Karnel’s father, Luther - her actual rapist - told her that he would take away her record deal with him if she didn’t keep the rape quiet."
Olivia told Rafael over the phone. “And if she opened her mouth, he would make her regret it.”
"This is ridiculous." Rafael mumbled, tapping his pen against his desk. He took sip of his coffee and sighed. "Arraignment court is in a half hour against Luther. Now she decided to finally come clean?"
"She was afraid, Barba." Olivia sympathized.
"Afraid she would loose her record deal?" Rafael retorted.
"Rafael -" Olivia stopped him, hushing her voice into her cellphone. "Listen to me."
On the other line, Rafael sat hunched over his desk now. He held the phone close to his ear and his head in the other. She could hear his shallow breath over the receiver.
"Will you be truthful with me for a minute?"
“I suppose.” Rafael said.
"Is everything all right in your life?" She asked. "Are feeling alright? Health wise, I mean? We’re all worried about you over here. Rollins said that when you left my office the other day, you were white as a sheet."
There was a silence on the other end as Barba played with the tips of his greying hair. He felt nauseous.
"I don’t know, Liv." Barba finally answered quietly. He sounded defeated. As if he’d finally been caught. "I’ve been out of breath lately. I’m sore. I keep-… I keep having these -… episodes, I guess you can say. Where I can barely breathe and my chest -… It feels like someone is tightening a vice around it."
"Barba - " Olivia’s voice was filled with concern suddenly.
"I’m fine. I’m sure it’s just… Some pfluke-y thing. It’ll go away." Rafael reassured her. "I have to get going. Will you be there?"
There was a pause on the other end as Rafael got his briefcase together.
"Olivia?"
“I’m here.”
"I’m fine." He reassured her, rubbing the center of his chest.
"Are you coming to court?"
“Yes.” She said quietly. “I’ll be there.”
•~||~•
3:00 PM August 26, 2013
“Luther Lorenz - you are here on the charge of second degree sexual assault. How do you plea?”
"Not guilty, your Honor." Luther stated. His suit was pressed, his tie straightened and his lawyer standing tall closely next to him. Behind them, Karnel and Penelope sat with straight faces on. As soon as those words slipped from his fathers mouth, Karnel’s fists pounded against the wooden railing.
"You disgusting pig!" Karnel screamed. Bailiffs edged near the accused’s son and the judges gavel pounded.
“Order.” She called to the court. “People on bail?”
“Your honor, Mr. Lorenz threatened Miss Proctor in his home after sexually assaulting her, claiming that he would take away her record deal and ‘make her regret she ever opened her mouth’.” Barba articulated, shuffling through his files.
"Your honor," Luther’s lawyer directed. "Miss Proctors story was inconsistent and changed midway through the investigation. Cue unreasonable doubt."
"You raped my girlfriend!" Karnel bellowed from the back. Penelope sat opposite of him, tears streaming down her face. Her family around her yelled in unison with Karnel.
"Order!" The judge called, her gavel pounding. "One more outburst and I’m clearing the gallery."
“Miss Proctor confided in one of the SVU detectives that Mr. Lorenz had made continuous threats to her after she came forward to the police. Text messages, your honor.” Barba continued. “She was afraid, your honor.”
"I’m sorry, Mr. Lorenz. Bail is set at $50,000."
Barba closed his file and turned to the gallery. Olivia and Amaro sat in the back, giving him stiff, satisfied nods. He turned back to the defense attorney, whom was giving him a glare while whispering to his client. The bailiffs cuffed Mr. Lorenz and took him out of the courtroom as the gallery began filing out.
"You disgusting slob!" Penelope’s mother screeched from the back towards Luther.
One second fine, another second everything was under water.
He felt dizzy, lightheaded. The room was moving, but he was standing still. Rafael hissed in pain, clutching his chest. He squeezed his eyes closed. His chest felt like someone threw a sledge hammer against the center of his ribcage. There was noise around him, but he could barely make it out. His ears were ringing, sounding like white noise surrounded him and a cold sweat of fear engulfed his skin.
Someone yelled his name, and he gripped the table, dropping down to one knee. He couldn’t breathe.
"Barba!" Olivia was kneeling down next to him, people looking down at him behind her. His eye lids were sagging, his breathing shallow as he winced in pain and gritted his teeth.
"Rafael!" She took his face in her hands, patting his face as his eyes began to close. "Stay with me. Hey! Stay with me, counselor."
"Someone call a bus!" Amaro yelled, grabbing Barba before he hit the floor.
•~||~•
Midnight August 27, 2013
His ears were ringing again. It’s like he was trying to tune an old television. There was beeping noises all around him as he stirred in his hospital bed.
Rafael opened his eyes, trying to figure out where he was and what happened. His body felt heavy and fatigued. There were wires coming out of his chest, an IV stuck sloppily in his hand. There was blood stains on his hospital gown. He looked down and underneath his gown was a patch of bloody gauze in the center of his chest. Surgery? What happened…?
Next to him, Olivia Benson sat with her feet crossed and her head tipped back. A blush crept up his neck when he realized her fingers laid lightly over his. Suddenly, her eyes fluttered open at the sound of his rustling in bed.
“Barba,” she breathed. She moved closer. She held her heart, the concern in her eyes glazing over.
"What happened to me?" His voice croaked like he had been sleeping for days. She shook her head,
"The doctor said you had a major heart attack. Y-you’re lucky to be alive." Rafael face scrunched up in confusion.
"A heart attack?"
Olivia nodded.
"I knew something was wrong." She told him, staring down at his IV clad hand. "I knew something was wrong that day in my office. I shouldn’t have given you that case. I should have had someone else take care of it."
“It’s my job.” Rafael smirked, his voice cracking.
"We watched you go down in the court room. You were fine, then you went white. Your lips turned blue. They called the ambulance, and you had stopped breathing."
Olivia’s eyes were glassy as they stared at him. A small tear slipped over her lid and without blinking she let it slide down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away.
"I should have done something." She said. "I’m supposed to make sure my team is okay. And i failed to see that. I’m sorry I didn’t help you earlier."
His long fingers enclosed over hers and he shook his head.
"It was my fault, not yours. Don’t blame yourself."
Silence filled the room. Olivia looked up at the heart monitor, beeping normally now.
"Your heart stopped beating, Rafael." She whispered. It was strange hearing her say his name. Every time she did, he felt a ping in his heart that wasn’t related to his condition.
“You went into cardiac arrest.” She paused. “I’m a Sergeant. I’m supposed to stay calm, but when it’s my team… When it was you… I didn’t realize… We watched them rip your shirt and give you CPR… Shock your heart back into beating… They thought you were gone. Amaro and I …. We thought you were gone.”
Her mouth moved into a forced smile as he squeezed her hand.
"I’m okay. It’s gonna be all right." He said, giving her a reassuring smile.
"Liv?" Wearily, he lifted her hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles.
His gaze met hers, green eyes to brown, and she smiled.
"Thank you for being here." He said wearily.
“You’re welcome, Rafael.” She breathed.
Leaning his head back against his pillow, Rafael closed his eyes. He felt her fingers lace through his and suddenly, nothing else really mattered.
•~||~•
9:13PM December 19, 2013
It was late. He could feel it. Hunched over the kitchen table, he leaned back in the wooden chair and itched his chest. His life was much different than it had been 4 months ago. He vowed no more late nights, no more extreme bouts of coffee intake, no more taking on stressful cases - all for now, at least.
Rafael looked down at his case in front of him. It was late, he frowned. The bedroom door down the hallway opened and the sound of feet shuffling on the wooden floor filled his ears. His mouth lifted in a smile when he felt arms wrap around his neck.
“It’s late.” Olivia whispered in his ear. She slipped her hand into his shirt, the hair on his chest brushing under her fingertips. She stopped at the scar from surgery and ran a gentle finger over it while planting a kiss on his jaw. He needed to shave, he thought. Somehow, he didn’t care much anymore.
"Come to bed." It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.
"I just have to finish this one thing." Barba protested.
She kissed his jaw again and leaned forward, closing the file.
"Come to bed." She repeated, smiling in his ear. His lips lifted into a smile. He took a minute, leaning back into her.
“I love you, Liv.” He whispered.
“Tell it to the judge.” She laughed lightly in his ear, loosening his tie. He looked at her and smiled.
"Good one, detective." She kissed him lightly and smiled.
"I love you too." She breathed. "Now come to bed."
•~||~•