Work Text:
You've been excited ever since winter fell upon your hometown with beautiful white snow covering the many streets. The snow giving the trees and bushes a slight blanket when shining in both the sun and moonlight. Winter's the perfect season to cuddle into your soft bed with a hot cup of either tea or milk while watching the outside world freeze down. Not yet Christmas but the vibe already finding its way into the hearts of most people. And frankly, Saeran's not one of them.
Ever since your summer vacation to the beach and the... incident between the both of you, he'd been even more smooth and sneaky to mess with your head. You didn't let him come that close again, none of you seemed to feel like taking it a step further, or maybe, you weren't. Saeran obviously didn't have any problem when it came to intimacy, teasing the shit out of you whenever he got the chance. Neither did he answer the question you once asked him. Why are you so touchy with me when you don't like being close to anyone else? What's making me different?
Sadly, the question never got brought up again, nor did he cooperate to let you know. Back then you prayed for that to cross his own personal limit of shame, yet it only accomplished the opposite. If Saeran hadn't been touchy before, he definitely was now. So when staying over at Saeyoung's place for the holidays, you almost forgot that he's a little shit. And dear lord. Even with his own twin brother around, he could not keep his hands to himself for a period of mere hours. It's bad. Confusing, but above all, flustering you to the bone.
"You want the purple or the traditional red tinsel?~"
Saeyoung chimed the question with the same kind of excitement for the upcoming events evolving around Christmas. You made a thinking sound before gazing down to the colors, totally ignoring the other redhead on the couch who's reading a book in silence. It's torture, even when he's not paying attention to you, the tension still managed to have you flustered without any kind of stupid signal. You sighed, life's just not fair as you'd chosen the purple tinsel.
"I like this one! It has a cool vibe to it!"
"Nice! So purple Christmas~ I'll get some more from the store near by then. I'll be back with the speed of light!"
Saeyoung made a pose, causing you to chuckle at the silly sight. The one with glasses waved as he left through the door in order to get more of the tinsel you wanted to decorate the house with. As the car of the older twin's turing on, you realized a detail that might not end well. You're alone. With Saeran. Before anything could happen, you quickly turned on your heels to flee into the kitchen for the time Saeyoung's gone.
"I– I go into the kitchen for s-some hot chocolate!"
Cursing your voice to come out ask meek as always when talking to the one with minty eyes, you looked for the cups in the upper cupboard. Some hot drinks would make the evening comfortable, the thought of some chocolate's having your mouth water up. While you're busy, you could hear a book being closed and being lay down onto the table, alarming you from head to toe. Trying to not let it get to you, the milk was soon poured into all three cups, each a different color in your favorite one's. Why aren't you surprised Saeran's pitch black.
The steps that he took weren't loud, but with the way you're focused on everything regrading Saeran, it's easy to tell he's coming into the kitchen. You swallowed thick before putting a little spoon into Saeyoung's cup, as he preferred hot chocolate with lots of sugar, however that's still tasting good.
"You don't need anything hot if you have me right here, princess."
It caused your whole body to tense as his voice's much closer than you expected, he had to stay right behind you for all you knew. As you tried to turn, you accidentally poked his chest with your elbow. These goddamn nicknames, they're gonna be the death of you. With bright red ears, you quickly turned around again to avoid seeing these smug eyes at all cost.
"I-I just want to.. prepare some drinks."
The lip of yours tasted of iron as you bit down with too much pressure to suppress a squeak by the way Saeran put both hands onto your waist. Bringing your back against his chest, still the same sent and warmth you're familiar with more than you liked.
"You need a hand, perhaps? I know how to.."
He reached out to take one of the spoons between his long, pale fingers. You sighed quietly as he rubbed his thumb over the cold metal.
"Make things hot. You should know, puppy."
This unexplainable confidence seeing the surface only when you're around, it didn't even matter if someone else's around, his goddamn brother could be right next to you, Saeran would still find a way to touch or reach you with words. You tried to take a step to the side as he pulled you back against his body right away. Dying internally with the embarrassment rushing through your veins, all you're able to do's watch as he slowly put the chocolate powder into the cups one by one.
Doing your best to act like it's having no effect on you, Saeran's presence alone's enough to have your heart hammer behind the rib cage. What this guy could do to you. How was it fair. The blush increased on shade as you could feel his hips push forward an inch more, it's sending a shiver down your body. Cold enough to make the show outside jealous.
"I can– can do this m-myself, you know.."
"Oh, I know that. I have no doubt in your abilities, I just want to help."
He suddenly withdrew, leaving your body lonely. As you turned your head with curiosity, you watched the red haired man get the sugar from the counter at the left side. His face's speaking walls without saying a single word over his true intentions, yet it's all covered up by innocence sparkling in these bright eyes. But you knew better, that guy's everything but innocent. You decided to leave the rest of preparation to him when grabbing a chocolate bar from the fridge, the combination of the drink and sweets was a bliss on the tongue.
"Here, put a piece of it on the spoon's end!"
You smiled as you handed Saeran the chocolate bar, waiting for him to continue and finish what you've started. But his movements came to an standstill as he eyed the chocolate. Confused you frowned an eyebrow up, wondering if there might be something wrong with it as you didn't realize it. But then Saeran opened the bar to break off a piece. The look from underneath his eyelashes that he shoot at you had your legs weak, especially paired with the signature grin.
"You like chocolate?"
He asked, already taking steps back into your space, having you back away by reflex. Not sure what he's getting at, you lifted a hand in case he would lean in too closely. In a way where you wouldn't have the strength to push him off again.
"I- Yeah? I mean, o-of course. Who doesn't, haha.."
It's a defeat when realizing you couldn't take distance anymore as your body leaned against the kitchen counter. Slight panic crept over your face, you pressed both hands against his chest when being face to face. Too little space, no air to breath that's not thinner than a needle. You stared down to his chest in total embarrassment as his red hair tickled on the start of your hairline. Your certain. If you look up now, there's no way to escape the devil's grip. It's no use, you're feeling so helpless when being pinned against him like that.
It didn't seem to bother him as the chocolate began to melt between his fingers, instead he lifted your chin with the fingertips, just enough to see your mouth better. The voice low and rough, whenever he decided to mess with your head. Getting you heart to jump out of the chest without any effort, it's shameful.
"Hm? Be a good girl and open up."
The words ran down your legs, almost dropping you down due to the little stability. You knew this wasn't anything you could win, so instead of procrastinating your humiliating fate, you pinched your eyes close before opening your mouth an inch wide. Saeran declined with a hum, which forced you to open your mouth wider. Keep seeing black behind your eyelids, the taste of the chocolate filled your senses intensively. At least you got to eat some of your favorite sweets. The chuckle of Saeran brought you back into the moment.
"Is it good?"
Not trusting your voice, you nodded while swallowing the last bite of it. The man in front of you then broke off another piece, but instead of placing it onto your tongue, he ate it himself. You figured he's trying to anger you by eating your stuff until you quickly realized that he leaned in for a kiss. He didn't care about the way you finched, he just put down the rest chocolate to get an hold of your face. The blush reached your ears as he pulled your chin down with his thumb.
"Make it sweeter, baby girl."
He mumbled before numbing your brain with a passionate kiss. You titled your head for better access, tasting how the chocolate melted in his mouth and ran into your own, getting the kiss dirtier. His hand back on your waist, all you could focus on's his tongue being so soft and running over your own. Warm and sweet, neither something to describe Saeran, yet they fit him so well it's quite scary at times. After you pulled away to breath, he licked over his lips, a sight too good to be allowed. The way his eyes stared had you unable to resist.
The cold shine inside them ever since meeting, yet the playful touch they owned when he got an hold of you. If there's one thing neither he nor you could doubt, it's that he's capable to get you no matter what his tactic was. It's still so, so unfair. As you're still ignorant to the fact what he actually thought of you as a person. He never told you, it's frustrating in the deepest corner of your heart. It got you shocked even harder when he dropped down to his knees out of the blue. With his tongue running over his lips to provoke you, you couldn't help but gasp.
"It's been a while, hasn't it? I want to have my favorite taste on my tongue."
How could he say such things straight into your face without any hint of shame but not talk to the RFA members without getting uncomfortable by a simple conversation. This wasn't right, there's no explanation that could justify his behavior towards you. Maybe.. He was toying with you after all. Why else would he continue to act so dirty? He knew he could get it from you and be sure to not get rejected, maybe that gave him confidence to act on sexual desire for once. The more you thought about it, over the many months you'd known him by now, it became difficult to not let the possibility hurt you.
Saeran's a good looking guy, but he also could be incredibly focused, practical and was such a smart individual. It's a lie to say he didn't impress you multiple times before. All his insecurities that opened up to you over months, seeing his breakdowns from time to time. He's not prefect, even if he tried to act like it. All of it got you thinking deeper than the casual surface. You didn't want to be a simple plaything to him. And yet you gave in because it's hard to risist. But there's a heavy feeling weighting on your soul. Something you couldn't ignore. Therefore...
"I don't want this."
It surprised the two of you with the serious tone of voice with which you put the statement into the kitchen. Saeran's bright eyes widened for a short second before pulling off the grin again. He thought you're just pretending a bit of resistance like it's usually the case.
"Aren't you a cute one, playing hard to get all the time when you secretly like it."
You stared down to him, face wrinkle free as you tried to show with your facial expression that, in fact, you're not simply playing a scene this time. You couldn't. Not anymore.
"I'm dead serious, Saeran. Get back up and stop it once and for all."
As you pushed him by the shoulders to make him lose balance and get out of his grip, he stood back up quickly. It never happened that you actually pushed him away, but what could you do? It's true, you liked it. Just not like that anymore. Not in a way where you're just a time passing activity. Saeran watched you prepare the chocolate milk for a second before shifting his weight onto his left side.
"Not in the mood, princess?"
"Stop giving me nicknames I never consented for! Stop it!! All of it, just fucking stop."
It scared yourself by how loud and angry your yelling ringed throughout the room. Not able to meet his face filled with shock, you did your best to let the tears that began to rise behind your eyes die down before he could see them.
"Remember what I asked you at the beach?"
You hissed before turning your back to him and put the cups into the microwave. Saeran continued to stay silent, so you figured he forgot already. It made your heart ache, is there anything he remembered you said or even knew about you as a person? Probably not to make it all worse. You rubbed your forehead by the headache greeting you.
"I asked you why you act so different with me. Why you always toy with me, but you never gave me an answer. And.. I think I know why."
The more you spilled, the harder it became to not just cry out. You almost did back then, at the beach when he ignored how you spilled insecurities and secret thoughts to mess with you further. You watched the cups turn in a circle with your arms crossed, scared of him having audacity dodging the subject again and give zero fucks over your feelings.
"If you need a fucking plaything that bad, just go to a strip club or something. But I'm not that!! I'm done with your stupid game."
After the microwave pinged and you could take out the cups, you took both yours and Saeyoung's with Saeran's on the table. You needed space, you needed time alone before you'd cry in front of him. As you glared at him from the side when heating towards your room, you're unable to read his face, as it's so often the case. Your heart sank. Even if it meant he wouldn't touch you anymore, call you cute nicknames anymore. You'd rather get rejected than be a doll to play with.
"I have goddamn feelings. And if you can't respect me enough to say the truth and tell me what you think of me, then sorry. But I'm done with your bullshit.. Find another girl who's willing to play your fucking whore!"
The anger narrowed your throat as you couldn't keep the tears in check anymore, a little sob following as you left the kitchen to place the cup for Saeyoung onto the table. Who, hopefully, would come back soon. You didn't want to be alone with Saeran again. Fuck that hurt, but it's such a relief on your soul, liberating by how you finally managed to get the things that bothered you for so long off your chest and say them right into his face. You now prayed he would take the damn hint and leave you alone.
~~~~~~~~~~
As Saeyoung returned, he quickly understood something must've happened. Therefore, he placed the tinsel down at the table for another time to decorate the living room together. The house's dead quiet, all three of you in your rooms. And while you're trying not to think about what happened, it hurt too much and robbed the focus away from anything else. You never thought you end up being the one able to yell back, considering you've never found the courage to in the past. Maybe the anger inside your system had done the job for you this time.
Your feet felt icy as you sat on the table in your room, trying to draw a bit on your tablet with your concentration constantly wavering back to the man with minty colored eyes. Why did you even put up with any of it in the first place, what did you expect? How could you really think he might end up telling you he liked you? Why did you clinged onto such stupid hope and let him continue toy with you. Regret's now marking your bones. It hurts. Burns. But that's the price to pay for dreaming too deeply, you figured.
It's hard to believe, you're so used to his touch by now. By having him close to your side whenever he's around, things wouldn't feel the same anymore without him. You rubbed your eyes, still irritated from the tears earlier, it's not funny how they rose back up already. Hiding your face behind your hands, you tried to let it go. Give it up completely. Your beautiful Christmas's ruin, that's for sure. Maybe you should go back home and celebrate with someone else instead. You'd feel sorry for Saeyoung, but what could you do.
"Pretty drawing, (N)."
Oh no– Your head jerked back up too fast as your tendons cracked painfully. He's behind you. How did you not notice him opening the door and take steps to stay behind you? How deep in misery had you been? Unable to move, you let him place both hands onto your shoulders, having him feel how tense you're underneath. For a moment he just stood there, looking down to the drawing. His voice's smaller than usual, much more like when he talked to other people. Small and less secure, the lack of confidence clearly audible.
"Why are you here."
Not meaning to hiss like that, you bit down onto your lip. Saeran didn't respond in any way, he just rubbed his fingers with pressure over your shoulders. It's almost as if he's massaging the tension away.
"I want to answer you."
You couldn't believe what he's saying, now he's brave enough? After basically screaming into his face you're done with it all? It didn't matter, the tears burned at the corners of your eyes regardless.
"Much too late.. just.. leave m-me alone."
"You're not a plaything to me. Nor did I ever thought of you as something like a whore. I would never think that."
After slowly putting down the pen, your teeth gritted painfully as you prevented your jaw from trembling by the sobs that wanted to come out so badly. Great. Was he now trying a different trick on you? Doing whatever it took to get you back in the place where he could do with you whatever he wanted? But even after everything, it's Saeran. And Saeran would never do such a thing, regardless how cooky or annoyed he seemed to feel. He'd never use you like that. You're unsure how to react, so instead you let him continue.
"I meant it when I said you're cute. I like to mess with you because I find your reactions adorable. And.."
You stared down to the drawing yourself. And..? There's more and it's slightly concerning he didn't flat out said it, he rarely felt the need to hold back his opinion. A sigh fell from your lips as you relaxed some of your muscles, feeling his hands take care of them softly.
"I'm different with you because.. I like you more than the others. I want to be fun for you. Exciting, thrilling."
Saeran slowly ran his hands over your shoulders to place his arms around your neck instead, and you let him. His confession caused so many toxic feelings to fall from your body. You closed your eyes to take in his sent, putting both hands over his arms to make sure he wouldn't withdraw without finishing what he'd came for. You're able to hear him inhale sharp, by how close his face was to your ear.
"I want to be someone I never thought I could be. I wanted to prove us both I could be more than a.. good-for-nothing."
"Saeran–"
"I want to be more to you, too. I'm sorry I.. hurt you by trying. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry (N)."
The tingling feeling down in your stomach plastered a smile onto your face with big tears of relief running over your cheeks. Now that's an apology, that's what you waited for. Months you hoped to receive words like these from the young man with red hair and minty eyes. Although it didn't feel quite real by how overwhelming the words were, it's amazing to have him hug you again. Saeran sighed heavily as you turned your head to give his cheek a kiss. A little one, just to make sure he understood.
"Apology accepted.. You should've told me sooner."
He nodded, giving into your affection by turning his head to squeeze his cheek against yours, the feeling made you snicker. His skin's almost softer than yours, it's all so damn unfair.
"I know. I should've told you back at the beach at least. I just.. didn't know how. I'm sorry."
"You remember the one thing you did tell me?"
As he hummed curious, you huffed amsued, did he really forgot or did he chose to not think about it to trigger feeling stop bubble up at the worse given moment? Saeran let go to kneel back down beside your chair, looking up with beautiful shimmering eyes. The blush finding its way back onto your cheeks as you cracked another wide smile.
"You said I'm yours and we both know that."
Now it's his turn to fluster and have his cheeks be colored in a bright red. The look suited him just as much as the sneaky one, you really adored everything about this young man. After you leaned down and took his hot face between your hands, taking a second to inspect every little detail that's waiting to be discovered, you gave him a kiss on the top of his nose.
"Well? Am I?"
It's like the places switched by how calm you felt to be straight forward. Saeran avoided your eyes a moment before nodding, leaning back up to catch you with a kiss on the lips. You muffled against them as he stood up from the floor, hovering above your body when licking with his tongue over your lower lip. Saeran swallowed the little moans when tasting the chocolate milk on your tongue, getting your head to spin like nothing else. After a while of him exploring your mouth and pulling away with a trace of salvia connecting the both of you, which you quickly wiped away with an embarrassed wave, he smirked back down.
Back to being the way you knew him best, making your heart jump out of your chest by the way he eyed you with a certain hunger. Now though, there's a slight soft trace running along his face. You couldn't describe it, but it's definitely there.
"Am I now allowed to use pet names again, angel?"
That's a new one, so sweet and caught you on the wrong foot. You quickly hid behind your hands to make sure he couldn't detect the deep blush creping over your shoulders as well.
"Ah, s-stop! I can't take this-!"
Saeran leaned down to lick ove the shell of your ear, having you stare up at him with a bright red face, meeting such calm eyes it's almost like he's ignorant to what he's doing. But as you both knew very well, he knew exactly what he's doing to you.
"Better get used to it, baby. You're mine after all. And this time for real."