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Zhongli lets out a deep sigh as he puts down the scroll back to the desk. He slowly massages the top of his nose, a little bit dizzy with the numerous books and scrolls he has gone through in the span of four hours. His desk and the floor around it are also littered with stacks of books and ancient scrolls.
He’s been doing this for months, but it’s fruitless. With each day that goes by, his worry and anxiety goes deeper and deeper.
He glares at the useless diary, before his rationality kicks in and Zhongli sighs. He’s been hoping that this diary of former Fontaine Archon’s lover can give him some kind of clues, but to no avail there’s none that he can use.
None of these books, scrolls, notes, anything, could give him any semblance of guidance on how to handle Childe’s dangerous pregnancy.
Honestly speaking, he didn’t even consider that Childe, his lover, his very mortal wife, could get pregnant from his seed. They’ve been having unprotected sex so many times even before they’re tied together in a holy matrimony and Childe was fine. He didn’t get pregnant or have any hints that he’s carrying so they never entertain the possibility.
Until four months ago.
At first, they genuinely thought that he only caught a very bad case of persistent cold. They didn’t think too much of it.
It changed when Childe suddenly fainted in the middle of the sparring with his Fatui agents. His underlings, who were heavily alarmed by it, immediately called him.
Their concerns were justifiable. Their boss never, ever lost consciousness out of nowhere like that. Not when he’s half-dying on the battlefield, not when he has just used his Abyss Legacy. So to think a mere spar would take him out was highly questionable and he agreed with them.
Thus they went to Baizhu, who dropped the bomb.
.
.
Four months ago
“He’s pregnant.” Baizhu says calmly as the glow from his hands fade away. “Three months along, to be exact.”
Both of them snap their heads to the owner of Bubu’s Pharmacy. Shock and incredulity paint both of their faces.
“What the hell are you talking about? I can’t possibly be pregnant!” Childe confronts. “Not to mention I’m already in my thirties and I don't exactly have the right sparepart for it.” He hisses.
While his wife is bristling, Zhongli himself feels a little bit lightheaded with the revelation. His seed was strong enough to make Childe pregnant? He can impregnate somebody?
“Childe is carrying a baby?” Zhongli confirms to the dendro wielder.
“Yes.” Baizhu nods confidently. “I suppose it’s because of your adeptus power. It’s probably not an instant process, but rather, years of exposure and well…” He gestures to the former Archon. “You’re not exactly a normal adeptus in the first place.”
Both Zhongli and Childe look at each other as the information starts to dawn on them. He reaches for the younger’s hand and squeezes it assuringly.
“Is that why I fainted out of nowhere?” Childe looks up to Baizhu.
“The thing is… I suspect that your fetus is actually absorbing your elemental energy.” Baizhu bites his lips in worry. “We have to monitor you for a few days to make sure of it.”
“The baby is taking Childe’s energy?” Zhongli skeptically asks.
“The fetus is clearly not a normal human so it’s not entirely impossible.” Baizhu replies. “It must be an adeptus or a halfling. Again, I need to monitor him for a few days at the very least to make sure of everything. If it consumes his energy, we can probably think of a substitute. Yours, for example.” He gestures to Zhongli. “You’re still its other parent and cross-pregnancy like this isn’t uncommon.”
The former Archon nods in understanding. Indeed, a mortal pregnancy with an adeptus isn’t as rare as people think. Throughout his six thousand plus life, he has attended and or blessed numerous newborns with this type of parents.
But this is definitely the first time he hears that the baby is sucking the mother’s energy.
.
.
A few days later, Baizhu's suspicion is confirmed.
Their baby absorbs Childe’s own hydro energy, hence when the Harbinger uses his power to fight, he’s almost immediately drained out.
Initially, he's against this pregnancy. It looks dangerous and alarming enough as it is. He will always prioritizes Childe’s safety and health on top of anything else, his own offspring notwithstanding. But Childe has always liked children and the idea of having his own is enough to make him decide to keep it.
Unfortunately, with the pace the baby consumes his energy, it starts to put a heavy strain on his body. What starts as a random faint turns into a full blown fatigue.
Childe is left exhausted thrice times faster even when he does nothing and the intensity between the drops gets more often. He starts to need to sleep around twelve hours each day just to keep up with the demand. Once, the Traveler genuinely thought that he’s dying since he wouldn’t open his eyes no matter how hard the shorter being tried to wake him up.
In order to ease and help Childe, Zhongli tries to infuse his elemental energy. He has plenty of it and being an adeptus, he can easily keep up with his child’s demand.
The thing is-
His child vehemently refuses his Geo elemental infusion and stubbornly devours Childe’s energy instead.
No matter how many times he tries, his infusion is always being shoved back to him.
.
.
Zhongli lets out another deep sigh before he gets up from his seat. He’s quite lost on what to do anymore. This is the first time that a child rejects any kind of elemental energy that’s not its mother and Childe’s condition only worsens as his pregnancy grows.
The former Archon quietly slips back into their bedroom, where his wife is still sleeping soundly on his back. Without any sound, he approaches the edge of the bed and sits next to Childe.
He lovingly stares at his face, noting and burning his beautiful features to his mind. His right hand gently touches Childe's forehead and slowly massages the heavy frown on his eyebrows.
Tinge of sadness and sorrow fills him.
Even in his sleep, his rest is not one of peace.
Now that he’s in his seventh month, their baby has grown big enough to start kicking. What’s supposed to be a joyful event turns into something that he (sometimes) wishes doesn’t happen. When their son (they have a baby boy, apparently), kicks or even move within Childe’s body, he’ll be pressing up onto his mother’s internal organs. Lungs, bladder, even as far as messing it up if he kicks hard enough.
Obviously, it causes Childe a tremendous amount of pain.
And yet his fearless wife would just smile proudly and happily, albeit holding off his own pain. When it subsides and their child goes motionless again, he will affectionately rub his bulging stomach while gently whispering, “That’s Mama’s boy. You should kick harder and stronger next time, okay? ”
As if he’s fulfilling his mother’s wish, their son actually kicks harder and stronger with each occasion and Zhongli almost almost couldn’t bear the sight of Childe wincing in pain almost everyday.
Their baby clearly drains Childe so much of his life. Pale and thin, always on bed rest while constantly withholding so much pain and barely has any energy in him.
Zhongli begins to honestly fear for his wife’s well-being.
As of now, he can’t even touch the baby bumps anymore if Childe’s conscious. His mother instinct has kicked in fully as overprotectiveness for their son blinds him entirely.
He’s already so weakened to this point and he still insists on protecting their child on his own.
Unbelievable his wife is, Zhongli shakes his head. After massaging Childe’s temple, he gently rubs the bulging belly.
Begging, praying, wishing.
“Zhongli?” Childe hoarsely rasps. The man in question snaps his head to his wife and smiles apologetically. He must’ve triggered Childe’s protective instinct when he touched his belly.
“Go back to sleep, love.” Zhongli apologetically murmurs.
Childe exhales deeply as he shakes his head. He pats the empty space on his side. “Come back to sleep with me.”
“As you wish.” Zhongli nods as he settles himself beside him. He fixes both of their positions so Childe can cuddle to him more comfortably, mindful of the bulge of his stomach.
“You look so stressed.” Childe chuckles lightheartedly as he caresses his husband’s temple.
Zhongli just sighs as he presses his lips to Childe’s forehead. “I deeply worry for you.”
“You always get excessively worried.“ Childe replies. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”
The former Archon raises his eyebrow at the remark. “How couldn’t I, when we both know how hard our son kicks you these days?”
Childe laughs happily at the reminder, completely in contrast with his husband. “It’s a good thing! The harder it is, the better.” He proudly says. “It means he’s growing healthily, Zhongli.” The off-duty Harbinger lifts his head a little bit. The adeptus dutifully leans his face closer to him and lets his wife kisses his cheek and lips briefly.
As if it’ll be enough to appease his worry.
“So be a proud and happy parent like I am.” Childe whispers as he rubs Zhongli’s arm up and down.
“Let’s just go back to sleep.” Zhongli sighs before he leaves another kiss on Childe’s lips.
.
.
When the other’s finally fast asleep once again, Zhongli slowly pulls their blanket to properly cover Childe’s body. His hand grips the edge of the blanket tightly as a heavy burden rests silently within his heart.
Please, have mercy on your mother.
.
.
And yet, it seems that his endless, silent prays are futile.
A few weeks later, Childe goes into labour and that’s the first time in his life, Zhongli learns what it feels like to be irrevocably helpless and in pure, torturous agony.
.
.
“Where the fuck is Baizhu!” Zhongli yells angrily as Childe’s own pained screams echo in their chamber.
Childe is first and foremost a warrior. A fighter at heart and to think that he’s reduced to this screaming mess means the pain is really insurmountable.
His gaze anxiously shifts back and forth between Childe and how more water and blood wettens their bed in deep red.
Even if he’s no healer, he can clearly sense how Childe’s heartbeat is going off tangent as abnormal amounts of perspiration also wet his body. As if they’re the consequence of how their child seems to endlessly suck Childe’s energy even worse than before.
Another pained scream and Zhongli is ready to kill Baizhu, when the green haired healer finally appears inside the room with Madame Ping in tow.
“My Lord!” Madame Ping shouts in surprise when she sees how much red has stained the bedding.
It’s like their Lord’s wife is bathing in his own personal pool of blood.
“Help him, now!” Zhongli orders gravely as Baizhu immediately checks on Childe.
“Madame Ping, please infuse him with the human blood like I’ve told you.” Baizhu says without looking at the elderly adeptus. His hands are already glowing bright to stabilize Childe while periodically checking on the opening. After a while, he looks up to the former Archon.
“This is too dangerous.” Baizhu declares. “He’s losing too much blood and too much of his energy at the same time. He won’t be able to last through the childbirth.” He grimly, bluntly says.
“Then you better make sure that he does, Baizhu.” Zhongli threatens. His eyes are glowing golden as his hackle is raised at the dire situation of his mate.
“I’m merely stating-” Baizhu fearlessly says before he flinches and curses. “Shit!”
The healer’s curse overlaps with another painful scream from Childe, whose hand is immediately being held by Zhongli.
His heart feels like it’s torn in pieces with how weakly Childe tries to hold his hand back. His hand is so cold against his warm palm and Childe’s complexion is also so pale.
Almost like he’s on the death door.
Zhongli’s own eyes moistens at the sight of extreme pain and distress his wife is going through. “Childe, Childe.” He whispers urgently, trying to ground him as he really fears for his wife’s life. “Childe, I’m here. You have to be strong for me. Childe, Childe-” He babbles endlessly, not knowing what he’s saying anymore. His mind starts to blank and full of his own distress at the sight of Childe fighting for his life.
Faintly, he can smell the herbal almost bitter scent wafting through the chamber, twistedly mixed with the heavy tang of iron.
“It’s not working as fast as we’d hoped.” Madame Ping worriedly says to the healer. “The herbal energy stimulant can’t keep up with the baby’s demand for his energy.”
“My Lord, he won’t be able to last if the baby doesn’t stop sucking his energy at this pace.” Baizhu says rather loudly, taking Zhongli’s attention back to the healer. “You have to choose.” He states.
“What?” Zhongli faintly says as his energy feels like being drained out of him too at the question. His jaw is slack with disbelief as dread paints his face.
“You have to choose. The mother or the baby.” Baizhu shakes his head grimly. “We can barely save one, two is simply impossible. I’m sorry.”
Immediate grief and despair fill Zhongli’s entire being.
Even when he was an Archon, he’s never faced such merciless, cruel choices.
His mate or his child.
He had hoped, had wished that it wouldn't come to this.
To think that in the end, he truly has to choose whether it’s Childe or their baby to be saved.
“At this rate, I can’t even ensure Childe’s life even if you choose him.” Baizhu adds regretfully. “The baby has taken too much of him. His energy, his spirit, his soul, his blood. There’s almost no chance of him staying alive when everything’s done.”
What?
“On the other hand, even if we save the baby… If the mother can’t supply enough energy before he can be born then…” Baizhu shakes his head ruefully.
“Baizhu-” Childe hisses lowly as he tries to anchor himself to the leftover of his rational mind amidst the onslaught of pain. “If you don’t save my baby- I’ll terror you in my afterlife.”
“Childe-” Zhongli turns his head to his wife. Despite the apparent pain and the sweats that mats his hair, the fire and determination burns bright on his eyes. “Childe, please. You heard it yourself- Baizhu you have to save Childe -”
“If it comes to it, Baizhu, save my baby.” Childe cuts his husband off. “This is my-” He grunts out another hiss of pain. “This is my precious child. I don’t want to die but if I have to- then so be it.”
Zhongli throws his head to the side, away from Childe as he takes a shaky breath. His hand starts to shake as utter unwillingness, mixed with fear and helplessness washes all over him.
A tear involuntarily slips out from his eyes out of his frustration at the unfairness of it all.
How could he wish for one’s safety when it means the other’s highly possible demise?
Would any of his loved ones survive this?
Minutes ticks by and in each weak breath Childe takes, his heart breaks into tinier little jagged pieces as desperation completely overwhelms him.
When it’s time for the push, Childe’s barely hanging by the thread of life and Zhongli breaks.
Never in his life, he despises his constitution as an adeptus.
Never in his life, he feels this intense vulnerability and agony as he has to watch his mate’s life slowly ebb away right in front of his eyes.
The raging tides that reside in Childe’s being have been willingly offered and evaporated by the fire that is his own child.
And he is nothing but a spectator, useless and completely helpless.
The second a baby cry echoes in their bedroom, is also the time Childe’s head limply slides to the side.
Zhongli acutely senses how Childe’s heart stops beating all together and Celestia might as well physically rips his heart out for the pain must be less severe than this.
“Childe…” Zhongli sobs as he holds his wife's slack body closer to him. The heartbreak and misery are too much for him to bear anymore as tears fall from his eyes for the first time in a thousand years.
Intense regret heavily burdens him down.
Had he stopped Childe much earlier, had he begged Childe harder not to leave him behind, would he choose him over their child?
Would Childe be here, alive and well instead of leaving his cold vessel behind for him to hold?
“I will cut his umbilical cord.” Madame Ping says softly as sorrow stains the atmosphere between them all with the cries of the baby to fill in the silence.
They all take a sharp inhale, when Childe roughly gasps for a breath as his heart suddenly begins to beat once more.
“Childe?” Zhongli grasps his body tightly as his eyes shift back and forth between his chest and his face.
The three adepti are left dumbfounded as a trace of energy suddenly appears within Childe’s chest. Slowly and steadily, his breath and his heartbeat start to even out as the energy begins to spread slowly like a ripple on a calm pond.
Zhongli snaps his head to their child as realization dawns on him.
“It seems that this child has left a parting gift.” Madame Ping says as disbelief colors her voice.
“Unbelievable.” Baizhu murmurs as he takes a glance at both mother and child.
Such a peculiar bond this adeptus baby shares with his mother.
When Childe opens his eyes, he’s facing the ceiling of their bedroom in Zhongli’s domain.
Exhaustion is so deep in his bones that he wonders how he manages to open his eyes. His hips, back and thighs are terribly sore and everytime he moves his ass he winces from the sharp pain from his waist below. He gives up on trying to get up after a few tries and instead lets his head wander left and right.
Aside from the soft glow from the moon, the room is so silent.
Empty.
Dread begins to fill him. He’s pretty sure that he hears the cry of a baby before he passes out, did his son-
Fueled with adrenaline and fear, he pushes himself to get up and crawls to the edge of the bed. His feet have just touched the cold granite floor when the door is opened.
“Love?”
He snaps his head to Zhongli, who closes their door and briskly walks to him. Worry and exhaustion are also painted so clearly on his face.
In all honesty, this is the first time he sees Zhongli this haggard.
“Why are you moving?” The former Archon scolds lightly as he sweeps his mate into his hold. Steadily, he brings Childe back to the top-center of their bed.
“Where is our baby?” Childe grips his arm. “ Zhongli, where is our son? ”
“He’s safe and well.” Zhongli immediately assures when realizes the source of his mate’s agitation. “You need plenty of bedrest to recover your energy, so I put our baby in the room next to ours for the time being.” He calms him down. “I’ve just checked on him in fact.”
“Take him here.” Childe demands. “I can’t rest peacefully otherwise.”
“I will, I promise.” Zhongli kisses his forehead. “But he’s asleep for now. I will bring him back to our room once he’s awake.”
“Fine.” The off-duty Harbinger takes a deep breath as the tension leaves his body. Now that the adrenaline shot has worn off, he can feel the intense soreness and pain are back again.
Zhongli frowns in worry as he tuck Childe back underneath the fluffy, thick blanket. “I’m sorry.”
“What for?” The younger man chuckles rather weakly.
“For making you through these horrible months. Making you go through that excruciating childbirth.” Zhongli shakes his head as he settles down beside him. “I will never impregnate you again.” He seriously declares as he brings Childe’s left hand to his lips and gently kisses the knuckles.
A promise.
“They were.” Childe laughs as he’s reminded of the hard months and the intense, gut-wrenching pain he experienced. “But that was worth it.”
Zhongli feels like he should’ve expected this kind of response from his wife, but he’s still filled with disbelief.
Celestia, his Harbinger wife is. Truly insatiable.
“I’m serious, Childe.” Zhongli whispers. “I can’t- I’ve almost lost you once to childbirth. I can’t possibly bear it if I have to endure another, unknowing whether you will survive or not.”
“Oh, Zhongli.” Childe gently coos and lifts his right hand. He gently touches the eye bag under his right eye before ascending to his temple, massaging it. “Okay then, I can live with one kid for the rest of my life.”
“Thank you, love.” Zhongli replies quietly.
Childe’s a little bit amused with Zhongli's apparent relieved sigh, but he keeps his mum.
“And thank you too, for enduring everything. For giving me such a precious, incomparable gift. For coming back to me.” Zhongli kisses his lips.
“Thank you, for being the greatest blessing in my life.”
Five years later
“Mama! Mama! Look at what Shui found!” A boy who barely reaches his hips excitedly runs towards his mother.
“Shui, don’t run on the sand. You’ll fall down.” Zhongli scolds gently when his son arrives in front of them.
“Yes, father.” Shui nods dutifully still with the same excited smile before he averts his attention back to his mother. “Look, Shui found this.” He bashfully says as he presents a blue conch on his hand to Childe.
“Shui found this?” Childe hums happily as he takes the shell from his child’s hand. “Such a beautiful conch, Shui.” He praises him as he pats his son’s head. “Good job.”
“Shui finds it for Mama.” He shyly remarks.
“Ah, Mama is so happy.” Childe exclaims before pulling his son into his embrace and ruffles his hair. “Shui is so kind, giving Mama such a beautiful conch.”
“Mama is prettier than this conch though.” Shui giggles. “Right, Father?”
“Of course.” Zhongli nods sagely. “There’s no one in the whole Teyvat as beautiful and enchanting as Mama.”
“Zhongli!” Childe hisses in embarrassment at the cringey statement and lightly slaps his husband’s shoulder.
“It is! Mama is the most beautiful!” Shui vehemently agrees. “Like this big. Bigger! A lot Bigger!” He emphasizes by stretching out his arms and wiggle them as far as he can.
Both Zhongli and Childe chuckle in amusement at their son’s behaviour.
The former Archon’s eyes soften as he watches his son nuzzle his head to his wife’s chest afterward, giggling freely as Childe’s own face is glowing with the same happiness.
His precious little family.