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he leaves dead animals on his doorstep ― little gifts to show him that he loves him ― but lucien tosses them in the trash.
he stands outside his window and watches him sleep ― to protect him, watch over him ― but lucien draws the curtains and locks them for good measure.
"i will never give up on us."
david is a vampire and he wants lucien to be his eternal companion. he pesters him with the idea, tries to up-sell the lifestyle of the living dead ― "parties every night, strength beyond your wildest dreams… " ― but lucien won't have any of it.
"why would i want to spend eternity with you?"
it hurts david to hear lucien say these things, constantly tear him down and reject his affection, but he knows that sooner or later, lucien will come around. david will say just the right thing to convince him that immortality is the ideal choice, that spending forever with him won't be so bad.
lucien doesn't want to live forever; he thought that was apparent. he knocks back more liquor ― whiskeys and wines ― to erase david's ghostly face, but he's always there, watching lucien through the windows, sneaking up behind him in the dimly lit bars he frequents with allen, jack, and bill.
"he's a freak," jack says, as his narrow eyes glue themselves to the dark figure brooding in the corner. "a real creep." lucien doesn't say anything ― he just keeps drinking.
allen says he'll walk him home but lucien declines.
"i just want to be alone right now."
but lucien is never really alone, and as he walks back to the apartment, every step echoing in the desolate street, he can feel david's presence behind him ― bright eyes boring into lucien's back ― and when he makes it to the front door, he turns to find david right behind him.
"can i come in?" david asks. lucien knows that without his permission david can't enter, and lucien always tells him no ― but tonight…
"you can come in."
they head upstairs to the apartment and lucien gets ready for bed, stripping off his sweater and trousers and into his shorts and undershirt. david watches him undress, and lucien says nothing. lucien crawls into bed and hides underneath the covers, blankets pulled up to cover his throat, and his blue eyes stay set on david who hovers in the corner.
"what does it feel like? to be drained?"
david swoops down to perch at the edge of the bed, eyes wide and hungry as he divulges on the subject. the blankets are lucien's only barrier between david's mouth and lucien's neck.
"oh it's wonderful ― i was friends with the vampire who turned me, and before he did he used to drink from me. it's euphoric ― feeling your blood leave your body, flow into the mouth that's latched onto you…"
david's eyes skim over lucien's face, down to his blanketed throat, and lucien shivers underneath the covers, a perverse desire burning deep inside of him...
"drink from me."
it's a command, not a request.
"just this one time."
lucien lets the blanket fall and his throat is exposed, white in the moonlight that pours through the window, and david doesn't ask if lucien's sure ― he fears that if he does that he'll back out ― and he pins lucien underneath him, extending his jaws and clamping down on lucien's throat.
the pain of david's teeth digging into his skin stings and lucien's heart is beating erratically in his chest, pumping more blood to feed the creature on top of him, and david begins to suck ― the blood he's been craving pooling into his mouth and rolling down his throat in thick velvet waves that warms his body and sends pleasure to his brain. lucien's breath is caught in his throat and he tries to wiggle underneath david but he's trapped, the vampire tugging eagerly at his throat as he feasts.
there is no euphoric feeling.
"david ― david stop you're hurting me ― "
but david is lost in his feed ― he had been lusting for lucien's blood since he became a vampire, and now that he had lucien underneath him, willing to have his blood drank, he wasn't going to let him go. he had him in his jaws and it was now or never…
enough blood has been harvested and david injects venom into lucien's bloodstream, a serum that courses through the human body and creates a monster, binding them to an immortal fate. lucien yelps as the venom reaches his veins, a fire burning him from the inside out, and all he wants is to die ― die than live an eternity with david by his side ― but it's too late.
david yanks his fangs from lucien's neck and laps at the wound he's inflicted with his tongue, sealing the venom inside, and lucien thrashes in agony as the venom settles within him, as the transformation takes place. david wraps his arms around the struggle boy and lucien continues to fight, but it's hopeless.
"i will never give up on us."
― ❦ ―
it's been one month since david turned lucien into a vampire against his will.
lucien is beautiful but feral ― skin the color of paper, eyes rough cut diamonds, and a dazzling smile that can and will devour you if you get too close.
david thinks he's perfect, lucien thinks he's a monster.
there is an unquenchable thirst that brews in his belly at all hours of the day ― he must be fed and he must be fed now. david tries to teach him how to hunt ― approach a lonely stranger and ask them the time, then pull them aside and eat ― but lucien is too wild. he stutters and won't look them in the eye ― they think he's on dope ― but he's just too hungry to focus, too anxious to follow david's instructions. he tears their throat out in the middle of the road and david has to swoop in and drag him off, bringing him to a secluded brush to be scolded. lucien whines, begging for more blood, so david drags the twitching body back over so lucien can finish.
a horrible urge to be close to david follows after every feeding. there is a magnetic attraction that draws lucien to david, pulls him close to the beast he so despises, and david envelops him, encompasses his entire being, and their hearts ― two separate organs that pump in tune with each other ― mesh together to form one ceremonious beat.
it makes lucien sick.
they share more than just a heartbeat, but a connection that keeps the pair of them in step with the other. no matter where lucien goes, david knows where he is. in turn, lucien always knows when david is approaching.
there is no more running.
there is no more hiding.
lucien is filled with rage and sorrow, and with every sunrise he mourns the loss of his human life. he weeps, tries to starve himself so he can waste away to nothing, and threatens to stake himself. david calls him on his bluff and lucien doesn't eat for two days, curled up in a corner rocking himself, stomach growling with such intensity it rattles the apartment. david is so scared that lucien will actually starve that he brings back a stranger to entice lucien into eating, and even though lucien tries to restrain himself, he can't help but pounce on the stranger and drain him dry.
"i want to die."
but he can't and david reminds him of this. an eternity of darkness, feasting on the blood of unsuspecting victims, prowling through the streets like hungry animals. david is over the moon to spend forever with lucien, to have a companion of his very own to teach and care for.
lucien wants to bathe in the sun.
― ❦ ―
"where are you going?"
lucien is back in his dorm room at columbia. he hasn't spent much time here, cooped up in david's apartment feeding and adjusting to his new, unwanted life, but there are a few things that he's left here that he needs. lucien swallows a lump in his throat ― he can smell allen's blood, potent and thick ― and it takes every ounce of his being not to tackle him to the ground and drain him completely.
"sailing out. to paris."
he hasn't told allen about his vampirism ― to tell him he would have to admit that he let david feed off of him ― but allen isn't stupid. lucien has been acting stranger than usual ― the strangest thing of all is that he's trailing david, when it's usually the other way around. lucien grabs clothes, books, and his old boy scout knife and stuffs them in a canvas sack.
"is david going with you?"
lucien freezes, boy scout knife tight in his grip, and then he slips it into his bag and turns to allen, looking him dead in the eye.
"no."
allen is silent. lucien's heart is beating so fiercely that he's sure it will burst from his rib cage because he doesn't want to leave ― not allen, not like this ― but he has to go. for weeks he's been planning his escape, mulling these ideas over and over in his head, the only safe place that david can't intercept, and now he's ready to follow through with it. but he has to leave this life behind ― his friends, his vision, allen.
allen starts to cry and lucien wants to take him with, but it's impossible. the only way he could was if lucien bit him, turned him into the same monster that he is. but he won't do it ― he won't slip his fangs into his neck and drink his blood that's calling out for him, inject him with poison venom that will curse him with immortality. he won't subject allen to this unbearable life against his will.
he'll just have to break his heart instead.
"allen. leave."
there is no easy way to say goodbye when you're leaving forever.
― ❦ ―
"come with me. we're taking a walk."
lucien has his canvas sack slung over his shoulder. when david asks why he has it, he says that he had to pick up a few things from his dorm to bring back to the apartment. david doesn't press further. they've ventured into riverside park, strolling along the hudson river, and there's not a soul in sight.
the two vampires are completely alone, accompanied only by the low thud of their matching heart beats.
lucien's hands are shoved deep in the pocket of his trousers. one hand curls around a small wooden stake ― a hastily made weapon he had whittled with his boy scout knife a few hours before while david was out hunting ― and he turns it over in his palm with every step, running his index finger over the sharp end…
"why are we here? are you hungry? no one's out tonight ― we should go somewhere else if you want to hunt."
"i'm not hungry for blood."
lucien's voice is low in his throat and david stops in his tracks, turning to lucien with a puzzled expression, lips parted in confusion. both of their hearts are racing, lucien's nerves catching up to him, and david opens his mouth to speak ― but before he can, lucien pulls the stake from his pocket and drives it straight through david's heart with one swift motion.
lucien's chest tightens, time freezes, and his heart stops.
david falls to his knees, hands grasping at the stake in his chest, fingers brushing against lucien's that are still gripping the hilt, shoving it in deeper, and the expression on david's face is gruesome ― eyes bulging out of their sockets, mouth wide open in shock ― and blood oozes from the wound in his chest, wet retches spilling from his lips.
suddenly david is silent, falling sideways with his hands clenched around the stake sticking out of his chest, and lucien's breath is heavy and uneven as he watches his sire grow still, heart pounding violently against his ribs, a singular beat with no twin.
for the first time in his existence, lucien is truly alone.
― ❦ ―
lucien travels to paris.
his family and friends think he's gone ― dead ― and he feels it's better off that way. as far as lucien's concerned, he already is dead.
paris is everything he imagined it to be, but there's something missing. lucien leans against the railing off the seventh floor balcony in the apartment he's squatting in, cigarette dangling from his mouth, and his heart thumps softly in his chest, a monotone beat that aches with loneliness…
part of him misses david simply because his heart misses having a partner ― but a larger part is unbelievably relieved that he's gone for good.
he attempts to write ― little poems and short stories about his parisian adventures ― and sometimes he reads them to his prey before he sinks his teeth into the skin of their neck and drains them dry. he tries to write post-feed but the words are always jumbled and nothing makes sense, but lucien keeps them anyway to look back on and evaluate. he even tries to write poems in french.
eventually he has to leave. he always has to leave.
lucien walks the earth for seventy years with kaleidoscope eyes and crimson stained lips. he witnesses monumental events throughout the course of history ― wars and movements, elections and assassinations ― and as the world around him changes, lucien stays the same.
he returns to new york, stalking his old friends in the shadows, but they're all dead ― long gone with their memories preserved in prize winning paperbacks ― and lucien realizes that there's nothing for him here, there's nothing for him anywhere...
his loneliness eats at him and he begins to seek out a companion.
his first attempt was an experiment to see if he could figure out the correct process of transforming a human into a vampire ― but he was too consumed in the feed and sucked his test subject dry, not leaving enough blood in his body to even inject venom into him.
the second try was a disaster ― lucien had left enough blood for his venom but injected too much, and she ended up convulsing and dying, blood dripping from her nose, eyes wide open, glassy, and vacant.
the third time lucien almost succeeded ― he had harvested enough blood and administered the correct amount of venom into his subject's bloodstream. lucien watched intently as his subject began to change, pressing his palm into their chest to feel their heart pound vigorously as his venom seeped into the organ ― but suddenly their heart was beating too fast and their breathing became short and rapid. lucien watched in horror as his subject died, heart too weak to handle his venom's acidity.
he feels doomed to spend eternity alone.
he is hollow on the inside, heart rotting with neglect, and lucien doesn't think he can do it anymore ― spend another night of darkness flitting through the shadows, a ghost that belongs neither here nor there ― and he retreats into himself, hiding from the world that's rejected him...
so lucien tries to starve himself again.
he makes it three days without feeding before the pain is too unbearable. he manages to leave his hovel to try and hunt, but he's too weak, his senses faint making it hard for him to pick up the scent of human blood, brain foggy and vision blurry as he searches for food, a body to drink from…
and then he picks up a scent that calls his name ― lucien, lucien, lucien ― and deep inside lucien's hollow core, there's hope.
lucien finds andrew and his heart no longer beats alone.
he’s finally found his match.