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Benrey hates every time Gordon kisses him in the middle of the kitchen. Not the kiss part, that’s Benrey’s specialty, but standing up without leaning against a wall while doing so always makes him feel awkward, and Gordon would always happen to be the one nearest to the wall to press his back against it. Benrey had told the universe that that’s a mean prank to play on Friend Benny, but apparently the universe thinks this prank is hilarious because it’s happening again and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He just leaves them at his sides out of habit.
He can’t say he doesn’t enjoy it though, he always enjoys it. He’s accepting Gordon’s advances with open arms, and Gordon’s sad, needy, and in the middle of a late night cry. He’s trying to get Benrey’s helmet off with one hand (and failing). Benrey lets him struggle with it.
Gordon pulls away after a while, trying to blink away tears that just end up spilling over anyways.
“I hate you.”
Benrey knows from experience that Gordon doesn’t mean that, but he plays along anyways. “Yeah? I can uhh, I can leave then, if you want.”
“No, wait, I- that’s not what I said.” Gordon’s grasping at the guard’s blue work shirt, more desperately than anything forceful. “You know that.”
Benrey just shrugs as a response.
“God, you’re just- god.” Gordon gives up trying to say something without leaking anything Benrey shouldn’t know. “Just come here.” He pulls Benrey forward by his shirt into another kiss, weaker this time.
Benrey can’t say he doesn’t welcome it again, tilting his head slightly so that Gordon can get in deeper. Gordon always fumbles with it, awkwardly shoving his tongue in (even when he doesn’t mean to), but Benrey thinks it’s cute and dorky so he doesn’t complain. Plus, it provides the opportunity for Benrey to slip his own tongue in, which makes Gordon flinch and grab on tighter. A sob forces its way through Gordon, causing him to almost choke, but he powers through it by pressing closer into Benrey.
After some time, Gordon breaks them apart gently. He leans back against the wall, breathing heavy. Whether it’s from the crying or the lack of air during kissing, Benrey can’t really tell.
“S’ pathetic.”
Benrey’s sure Gordon’s mumbling it to himself, and not at Benrey, but it still hits just a little bit.
“Hey, stop talking? You’re too loud.” Benrey moves his hands from their awkward stance, and upwards towards Gordon’s face. He holds Gordon’s jaw in his hands, ignoring the uncomfortable scratchiness of Gordon’s beard, and presses kisses to his cheeks at random. His face tastes salty.
Gordon just sighs and leans forward again, pulled in by Benrey’s kisses.
“I hate you. I hate how you do this to me.”
“You’re doing it to yourself, friend.”
Gordon exhales deeply out of his nose. “Yeah, I know.”
“Can’t blame me forever.”
“I know, I know! Just let me have this.”
Benrey grants him mercy just this one time and brings him back in.
Not satisfied with just Benrey’s mouth this time, Gordon tries to messily kiss along his cheek and jaw as well, although being hindered by Benrey’s helmet again. He once again tries and fails to get the helmet’s chinstrap unlatched with his one hand. Planting one last kiss to Benrey’s mouth, Gordon pulls away reluctantly.
“Can you, uh,” Gordon stumbles with his words. Benrey knows how much he hates asking for things, so he gives him time to force out the request. “Can you take off the helmet? It’s just, uh, it’s in the way.”
Benrey grins. “If you want it, why don’t you do it yourself? Holding up the line here.”
I can’t, asshole,” Gordon grits, wiping away the last of his tear streaks. “I put my prosthetic away for the night already. It’s hard enough to do it with my non-dominant hand, I don’t need you moving around to make it worse.”
“That sounds like a you problem,” Benrey replies, but he goes to take off his helmet anyway.
Once it’s off, Benrey drops it to the floor with a clang, and Gordon runs his hand through the dark mop of hair on Benrey’s head.
“Your helmet hair looks like shit.”
“Yeah, well, you’re the one all hot n’ bothered to see it, so…” Benrey trails off indignantly.
Gordon’s face flushes. “I’m not “hot n’ bothered”, your helmet was just getting in the way.”
“In the way of what?”
“Oh, fuck off. Fuck you.”
Benrey can’t tell whether Gordon’s face is red from anger or embarrassment. Probably both, knowing him. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”
Gordon exhales sharply. “You’re gonna kill me,” he chokes out, grabbing onto the back of Benrey’s head and forcing him forwards into another kiss.
Benrey snorts with laughter at the absurdity of it all, especially Gordon holding onto his hair for dear life after insulting it moments before. Benrey nips at Gordon’s bottom lip to mess with him, but when Gordon makes a noise and melts into him, Benrey thinks it might’ve backfired. Gordon all but slumps against him, and the guard has to shift his weight to accommodate for supporting the physicist up to keep them liplocked. It’s clumsy, for sure, and they’re stumbling a little bit, but it’s certainly not anything new for either of them, so they continue to tangle up into each other as they try to grasp on for support.
Gordon begins trying to kiss at Benrey’s jaw again, forcing the guard to tilt his head up for the taller man. Benrey thinks to himself that it’d be better if they were on the couch, his favorite place to kiss Gordon by far, but he supposes that beggars can’t be choosers. The last time Gordon had invited him over, they watched a movie on the couch, practically latched onto each other under the throw blanket. When Gordon finally made an advance, it was easier and comfier to be curled up on the sofa, sleepy and warm and bored enough to do anything than watch that shitty movie.
It takes Gordon coughing and breaking away again for Benrey to realize he’s accidentally let out some sweet voice, a mix of orange and pink this time. It’s probably from the memory combined with the current situation, kicking his emotions into overdrive.
“Oh shit. Sorry.”
“It’s cool. Tastes nice anyways.” Gordon wipes away a trail of sweet voice leaking from his mouth and licks it off his finger. “Is this peach?”
Benrey just stares.
“It’s your own sweet voice, man. You don’t know what flavor it is?”
“I’m kind of busy right now? Rude.” Benrey rolls his eyes. “I’m mackin’ on this totally hot guy and you’re asking me to inspect my sweet voice flavors.”
“I’m not asking you to inspect- hey,” Gordon registers Benrey’s comment. “Hey.” He presses his forehead against his companion’s. “None of that. Please.”
Gordon’s voice is so uncharacteristically soft and pleading that it makes Benrey’s throat close up full of sweet voice, so he just slightly nods in response.
“But, um…” Gordon furrows his brow, still pressing his forehead against Benrey’s. “What I would like… maybe, is, um…” He leans his head back, returning to full height and supporting himself on the wall behind him again. “Oh, god, this is so embarrassing.”
Benrey swallows down his sweet voice. “What?”
“I-” Gordon sighs, glancing off to the side. “I want some sweet voice; or, more of it, I guess. When I’m actually prepared for it, y’know.”
“Like, in your mouth?”
Gordon’s face turns at least three shades redder. “Shut up, dude. Yes, in my mouth.”
Benrey nods as if given an executive order. “Kay, I can do that. C’mere.”
Gordon tentatively brings himself back in, though not enough for them to touch lips. Benrey scoffs as he has to be the one to initiate the kiss this time, pressing his open mouth to Gordon’s and grabbing his face for stability. Gordon’s beard is scratchy on his hands again, but Benrey brushes off the slight discomfort. It takes a moment for him to form sweet voice on purpose, and he decides to keep the orange and pink peach flavor.
He gingerly sings it into Gordon’s mouth, letting Gordon press in deeper to keep stable. He stops after a short string to start out slow, and he finds that when Gordon continues to kiss him, the man does taste like peaches. He sings out a couple strings more for good measure, grinning as Gordon sharply inhales and tries to get impossibly closer.
It’s only when some pink starts to leak out that Benrey pulls back, letting a string of sweet voice hang in the air between them. Gordon coughs again, but just a little bit, and swats away the pink surrounding him. He then rubs his eyes tiredly.
“You good?” Benrey asks.
Gordon nods, swallowing down the last of the pink and orange. “Y’know, I should go to bed soon,” he murmurs. “Joshua has school tomorrow.”
“Yeah, and what’s that got to do with you?” Benrey smirks, brushing a curl out of Gordon’s face. “You goin’ in with him? Gordon going back to kindergarten to learn his ABC’s?”
“First of all, Joshua is not in kindergarten. He’s in first grade.”
“Same thing.”
“No it’s not. Second of all, I don’t want to wake him up with us talking out here.”
“Us doing what?”
“Talking.” Gordon says the word more forcefully this time, as if he’s trying to convince even himself.
“...huh?”
“You’re insufferable, you know that?” Gordon narrows his eyes.
“You’re the one who wants to make out with me, bro.”
“I don’t- we’re-” Gordon short circuits. “This is not making out. We are not making out.”
“Yeah? Then why’d you whine like a little baby when I bit your lip? Dumbass.”
“Because- because it hurt, dickhead! You don’t just bite people like that!”
“And yet you held on tighter? Your story makes no sense.”
Gordon is almost fuming in embarrassment. “You- you- stop. Be quiet.”
Benrey smirks. “Why?”
“You’re not being quiet.”
“Make me.”
“I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work.”
Benrey leans forward, close enough that he can feel Gordon’s breath on his face. “Yeah?”
Gordon clears his throat and looks away. “Yeah.”
Benrey can’t hold it in anymore and breaks into a cackle, backing down from intimidating the scientist. “You’re such a nerd.”
“Wh- no I’m not!”
“Mhmm,” Benrey mocks, looking at Gordon with knowing eyes. He’s not big on eye contact, but when it comes to Gordon he can bend the rules a little bit.
“I don’t know why I let you in my house when you just try to bully me like a middle schooler every time,” Gordon groans, rolling his eyes. “Are we done, then? Can I go to bed now?”
“Uhhh,” Benrey thinks for a minute. “Wait, wait, I was uhh… I was thinking of doin’ something, if that’s cool. No pressure.”
Gordon raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“You’ll see. But, uh, couch first, please? Move to couch?”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s not bad,” Benrey tries to convince him. “I just hate standing. For it.”
Gordon snorts. “Lazy ass.”
“Come onnnn.” Benrey pulls him from the kitchen into the living room, and Gordon lets himself be dragged over to the couch.
“This better be worth it, man, or else I’m kicking you out.” Getting too comfortable on the couch so late at night is a dangerous game, but Gordon settles into his usual spot nonetheless, with Benrey right beside him.
“It is if you’re not a baby about it. Give.”
“Give what?”
Benrey lifts his hand wordlessly and reaches across to Gordon. He lets it hover there for a moment, leaving an awkward pause in the air. He blinks, mulling over what he’s about to do, feeling the pressure as Gordon silently watches him.
He brushes his fingers against Gordon’s right arm. Gordon flinches away, but after a moment, relaxes it again back in place as he realizes it’s not an act of aggression. Benrey looks at him for permission before touching him again, and Gordon hesitantly nods, although his face shows an expression of uncertainty. He tenderly takes the stump in his hand, brushing his thumb over the end of it.
The scar tissue feels slightly different than the rest of Gordon’s skin, and Benrey switches between feeling each of them. He might be getting too caught up in running his hand over the textures, honestly, but he flicks his eyes upwards to check on Gordon and the man is staring at him with an intensity he can’t place.
“Is this… okay?” Benrey asks, barely above a whisper.
Gordon nods dumbly, eyes wide, causing Benrey to swallow another bout of sweet voice.
With the go-ahead, the guard hesitates for another moment, before carefully bending down slightly and pressing a gentle kiss to where the scar tissue begins. He hears an almost inaudible gasp from the other man. He continues in his soft kisses around the amputated arm, treating Gordon with a gentleness as if the man was going to break.
“Benrey, I think I’m going to faint,” Gordon gasps out, leaning on the couch’s back for support. Even sitting down, his head is spinning, making an upright position feel almost impossible.
“Hm? Why?”
“I'm pretty sure I’m feeling so many emotions at once that my brain’s overloading.”
“Well that’s dumb, tell it to stop.”
“I can’t, that’s not how that works.” Gordon makes a face, but doesn’t stop Benrey from giving attention to his arm.
“Mm, maybe for you.” Benrey peppers more kisses to the arm.
“Wh- why are you doing this, after you…” Gordon chooses his next words carefully. “After you helped cause this. And you mocked me.”
Benrey shrugs, refusing to look Gordon in the face. He stares at a freckle on Gordon’s arm instead. “I dunno. Maybe… sorry about it. Care ‘bout you.”
“Benrey…”
Gordon’s sigh leaves a pit in Benrey’s stomach.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say. It’s late.” Gordon brings his left hand up to Benrey’s cheek, forcing the guard to look up at him. “We can talk about this some other time, maybe.”
Benrey nods, leaning into the touch on his cheek. He keeps his hold on Gordon’s right arm, refusing to let it go as he cradles it delicately.
“I hate you,” Gordon whispers. “God, I hate you. I hate you.” He mumbles in circles, repeating it over and over as he holds Benrey’s face, softly stroking his cheek with his thumb.
Benrey’s known for a while now Gordon substitutes “hate” for something else. The way he says it so tenderly, with a gentle look in his eyes that makes Benrey’s insides flip, is so incredibly obvious as a falsity that even Benrey of all people can pick it up.
Still, he’d rather deal with an upfront admittance of how Gordon feels about him. Denial is a river in Egypt and Gordon needs to build a bridge and get over it-- or at least that’s what Tommy said once, anyways. Gordon can’t keep up their game forever, no matter how much Benrey likes to play along.
But as he sits there, wrapped around Gordon’s little finger, Benrey figures it’s okay for now. They can continue their secret little moments, their little rendezvous where Gordon insists it’s not romantic, it doesn’t mean anything. Benrey knows better than that.