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Merlin blinked languidly, seeing hazy figures in front of him. Slowly, Morgause’s smirking face came into focus.
“Well, hello there, Merlin. Pleasure to see you.”
Merlin grunted, trying to free himself of the chains currently binding him to the wall. “Can’t say the same, it’s really been wonderful without you there.” Sighing, he rolls his eyes, resigning himself to the situation.
Morgause strolled over to the middle of the room with a crystal in her hand. Murmuring some incantations that Merlin recognises as an old communication spell (what the fuck is she up to with that ?), she sets the crystal down. The screen that emits from it shimmered to form an image of Arthur, seemingly in the middle of a council meeting. Upon seeing the image of Morgause, presumably on top of the table, he yelps in an uncharacteristically high voice. In case you were wondering, yes. Merlin has now stored that sound in his brain for the rest of time and yes, he is so going to tease Arthur about it later.
Clearing his throat, Arthur grumbles, “What is it now, Morgause?”
“I have your lover, Arthur. If you want him back, give me back the Cup of Life.”
Arthur snorts in a very un-royalty like fashion.
“I’m sorry, what? You have Merlin ? Let me correct you there, Merlin has you . Really, what you hoped to accomplish by abducting him, I’ve no clue.”
Morgause, understandably, looked utterly clueless. Merlin slowly creeped towards her, made a shushing gesture at Arthur, and whispered in her ear.
“He’s right, you know.”
Before Morgause could even whip around to catch a glimpse of him, Merlin struck her head with a concerningly large piece of wood. Snickering, he turned to look at the twenty odd guards charging towards him at frankly inhuman speeds. With a small flick of his hand and a long-suffering sigh, all the guards were transformed into - wait for it - toads. Merlin really should pat himself on the back for his outstanding sense of humour. No one else was appreciating it anyway.
As he leisurely strolled through what had once been Cendred’s castle, more guards attacked him. One of these days the castle was going to have a toad infestation honestly. Also, they should give them better training. What kind of guard would abandon the gates to the citadel for a pair of rolling barrels? Although, he supposes, the Camelot guards do that too, so that’s another matter to bring up to Arthur when he gets home. And how could he forget the grand finalé? Reaching a small village next to the castle, he incants a spell, eyes flashing gold to match the fireworks on top of the castle, spelling out- ‘MORGAUSE IS A STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.’
Stop judging him, he’s allowed to have some fun.
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Later, back in Camelot, Arthur asks him about the incident as they eat lunch in the woods.
“So, cariad, how did it go with Morgause?”
“Oh, the time you screamed like a girl in front of all the knights and the entire council when you saw Morgause’ face on top of your table?” Merlin asks, hiding his snigger behind a sausage.
“Oh my gods, please shut up Merlin,” Arthur says as he eats the entire sausage right out of Merlin’s hand.
Indignant, Merlin tackles Arthur to the ground. Obviously, Arthur is strong enough to resist it, but he doesn’t, because he knows what’s to come. Koala mode. Merlin latches on to Arthur, and refuses to let got until Arthur agrees to whatever condition Merlin has. This time, he wants food. More specifically, he wants Arthur to feed him. And who is Arthur to deny his beloved the privilege?
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“You know, I can’t believe you’re the same person who single handedly took on three hundred guards and a sorceress while also emerging unscathed.”
“Are you saying that I can’t be scary?”
Arthur glances at Merlin, who is currently swaddled in blankets, has hair sticking out everywhere, a bit of drool on his chin, and a very pouty, angry expression on his face.
Smiling, he shakes his head. “You’re the most terrifying sorcerer in all the lands, darling,” he softly speaks, as Merlin snuggles into his chest.