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Published:
2015-03-03
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That Time Shepard Swore It Was Garrus's Window, No Really, She Did

Summary:

Shepard really should stop drinking with Tali and Garrus. Bad things happen. And by bad things, she means "accidentally crawling through Garrus's neighbor's window and falling asleep on her couch and scaring the crap out of her when she wakes up." At least she's cute though...

Notes:

originally posted on my tumblr, borrowed an AU idea and ran away with it. 21st century, everyone's human AU, warning for fluff and lesbians and everything is femshep/liara and nothing huuuuuuuuurts.

Work Text:

Shepard is vaguely aware that there are lace curtains on the window as she clambers through, scraping her arm on the windowsill as she does, cursing softly. Garrus doesn’t have lace curtains…does he?

She decides she doesn’t care because oh look there’s the couch, soft, warm, comfy couch. She falls down on it with a graceless oomph and immediately falls asleep, her head still buzzing from tequila.

She is awoken several hours later by the most girlish scream she has ever heard. She rolls over, almost falling off the couch in the process and oh my god my head fucking hurts. I am going to kill Tali.

“Who are you?” the voice screeches. “What are you doing in my apartment?”

Shepard finally manages to open her eyes despite the pounding in her head. A gorgeous girl is standing in the doorway, clutching at her blue robe with white knuckles. Shepard notes with mild curiosity that she has the most beautiful blue eyes and freckles all over her cheeks and nose. She also, more importantly, notes that she is not Garrus Vakarian.

“Um…I’m not sure?” Shepard responds, rubbing her eyes. “I thought I was climbing in Garrus’s window….”

“Garrus?” the girl asks confused. She blinks for a few seconds and then realization dawns on her. “Garrus is my neighbor…”

“Aw shit.” Shepard tries to stand and can’t, the room is spinning too much. I’ll never drink again. Apparently, it makes me forget which apartment is my best friend’s. “Look, I’m so sorry. I was just trying to crash on Garrus’s couch…we were out late and I got separated from my group and…uh, yeah.”

The girl still looks extremely uncomfortable, but her expression softens a bit. “I guess, it’s okay. I mean, it could happen to anyone. 

There’s a knock on the door then, breaking the awkward silence. The girl goes to answer it, and Shepard tries to get herself properly upright. She hears Garrus’s voice in the doorway, “She’s here? Shit, Liara, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Garrus,” the girl—Liara—says, laughing slightly. “Just an honest mistake.”

“An honest drunken mistake,” Shepard says as Garrus comes into the small living room. “Was wondering when you got lace curtains though.”

Garrus smirks. “Oh please, mine are much nicer than those.” He pauses. “No offense, Liara.”

Liara rolls her eyes. “None taken.”

Shepard watches the exchange with a bemused expression at her best friend and his neighbor. It appears they’ve had many similar exchanges of gentle teasing and sarcasm, and Liara seems to have let her guard down a bit since his entrance. Instead of clutching her robe closed over her chest, it hangs loose and open, revealing her nightgown underneath. Shepard tries not to stare at her shapely legs and instead focuses on why Garrus never mentioned his hot neighbor before.

“Well, I was going to make coffee anyway,” Liara says, breaking Shepard out of her thoughts. “Would you both like some?”

“Sounds good,” Garrus answers at the same time that Shepard shakes her head. Liara disappears into the kitchen, and Shepard flops back over on the couch. “A little hungover, there?” Garrus teases.

“Fuck you and fuck Tali’Zorah,” Shepard groans, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes.

“If you didn’t try to match her shot for shot, this wouldn’t happen,” Garrus points out.

“She’s such a small person,” Shepard mumbles. “How can she drink so much?”

“One of life’s great mysteries,” Garrus says solemnly. “Are we truly alone in the universe and how does Tali consume so much alcohol without literally dying?”

Shepard snorts, the pounding in her head subsiding slightly. Liara returns with a mug and a glass of water. She hands the mug to Garrus and the water to Shepard. She also produces two asprin hidden in her hand.

“You are a goddess,” Shepard breathes, gulping down the water. “Seriously.”

Shepard swears that Liara blushes, but she’s still hungover and doesn’t trust her own brain processes.

They finish their coffee (or water, in Shepard’s case) and Garrus drags Shepard from Liara’s ridiculously comfy couch. Liara walks them to the door and Shepard lingers just a moment to apologize once again for breaking into Liara’s apartment.

“It’s really fine,” Liara says, chuckling. “Just don’t, you know, make a habit of it?”

Shepard laughs. “Are you kidding? I plan to sneak in and scare you on a weekly basis. Besides that couch is insane amounts of comfortable. Just saying.” Shepard pauses, then smirks.  “And the look on your face was kind of worth it.”

“Shut up.” Liara tries to look outraged, but she’s laughing too.

“I mean, it was pretty adorable.”  

Now Shepard knows Liara is blushing. She’s close enough to count the freckles on her face and to see the way they trail down her neck, disappearing into the cloth of her robe to her shoulders. Hmm, shoulder freckles.

“Maybe we could start with dinner or something instead?” Liara asks, fiddling with the fabric at her collar.

Shepard tries to form words, but being hungover plus being asked out by a hot girl means her brain isn’t quite working properly. “You asking out the weirdo who broke into your apartment last night?” she finally manages to say.

Liara presses her lips together, but Shepard can see she’s trying not to smile. She produces a pen from seemingly nowhere and scribbles her number on the inside of Shepard’s arm. Her hands are soft, but her touch is firm and sure. Shepard’s knees feel weak, but she grins.

“Text me later,” Liara says, smiling. “When you’re recovered, I mean.”

Which reminds Shepard of the incessant pounding in her head. “Yeah…I will.” She finally heads out the door. She almost makes it to Garrus’s when she notices Liara standing in her doorway, watching her.

“You checking me out?” she calls.

Liara just shrugs, grinning from ear to ear. “It was nice to meet you, Shepard,” she says with a little wave. She likes the way her name sounds on Liara’s tongue.

“You too, Liara.” She closes the door and leans against it, staring at the numbers carefully written on her arm.Best. Drunken. Mistake. Ever.

She waits an hour before texting her, after a nap on Garrus’s couch and after interrogating him about his gorgeous neighbor.

Hey. So I heard you liked seafood? :)

I’m not opposed… ;)

Cool. Pick you up at 7 then.

Ok. Just don’t come in through the window please.

Aw man, you ruined my whole plan for seduction.

Well you ruined my curtains, so we’re even.

Oops. Sorry :(

I think I can figure out a way for you to make it up to me ;3

Um, yeah I have no response for that…

See you tomorrow :)

Can’t wait :)