Work Text:
Neil Watts wasn't one for regrets, he wasn't one to mull on the 'what-if's and 'if-only's. He was awesome, after all, and he lived in the moment.
Joining Sigmund Corporation had brought with it a thick, luscious paycheck at the price of countless sleepless nights, overtime, and many more conundrums beyond what was written in the job description.
Endless trouble, to say the least.
It was hard, watching from an almost omnipotent point of view, to not subconsciously look down on all those people. For their life's regrets, for their many hesitations that do nothing but hinder their chances in the ebb and flow of time.
For how their petty fears prevented them from attaining what they wanted— what they could have gotten had they just opened their mouth, or taken that one step.
Neil Watts wasn't one for regrets, he wasn't one to mull on the 'what-if's and 'if-only's.
He was awesome. He lived in the moment.
But...
Occasionally. Just occasionally, he'd allow his mind to wander back to his highschool days. To the land of 'what-if's he proclaims to detest.
What if he took her hand? Asked her out to prom?
What if he was just a tad more honest with his feelings? Perhaps even confessed? What if he had just...
Neil concluded he did have regrets, accumulating long after his childhoood days, and growing to more than he'd readily admit.
All those missed opportunities to make Neil Armstrong jokes, to stuff each case with even more fandom lore, to prank his coworkers and...to have gotten closer to Eva.
Sometimes he'd close his eyes and recall the times they spent together. Having known Eva for over ten years, she still never ceased to surprise him. For better or for worse.
He never expected himself to remember the Johnny and River case as much as he did. The dull ache in his chest he had felt that day seemed just as recent as it had been months before.
To see River erased from Johnny's memories, it took him a long while before he realized why it rubbed him the wrong way.
They weren't there to play god, Neil knew that. Their job was to fulfill Johnny's wish, get him to the moon. It wasn't up to him to decide what would make Johnny the happiest, neither was it his choice to prevent the removal of River from Johnny's childhood. Yet it felt off, somehow. Just plain wrong.
Not because he felt bad for the old chap, no way.
Neil Watts wasn't one for sentimentality, just as much as he didn't cry at weddings. Which, of course, he never did. Ever.
It just placed things in perspective, made him wonder how things would have been if that was his life. If that was Eva being removed from his memories instead. With the push of a few buttons, a few wrong steps... everything could have been different.
A life without Eva? He could hardly imagine it.
The comfort of her presence, the softness of her touch, the sound of her voice (even as she hollers self-coined curses at him for goofing off).
She was a part of his childhood. His past, his present, his...his life.
And oh, those eyes that sparkled in awe, hands pressed up against the cool aquarium glass. He could do nothing but gaze at her, stiff and tight-lipped to hide how breathless the sight had left him.
Neil had never seen Eva grin like that before. Not in highschool, not after graduation. Hell, he'd hardly ever see her crack a smile, much less...this!
He had half the heart to approach her with some snarky comment, to ask her if she was possessed or something to that effect, but he couldn't find it in himself to interrupt her.
Instead, under the artificial glimmer of lights riding to the tide of swaying waves. Under the shelter of a memory, and in the projection of a moment, they stood.
In seconds it would be over, another instance stockpiled up on that dreaded list.
All it took was
Three steps towards her,
Two pinkies lingering a hair's breath away,
One hand reaching out, and
Zero regrets.
But maybe Neil Watts was one for regrets, maybe he he was one to mull on the 'what-if's and 'if-only's.
And maybe he wasn't so awesome after all,
for he failed to live in the moment.