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Somehow of all things, leaving Guillermo’s suitcase behind is bothering him. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. On top of all the other emotions he’s feeling, there’s regret. About leaving behind that stupid fucking suitcase.
Of course Guillermo wouldn’t show. Why would he? What can Nandor offer him? Turning him into a vampire? Did he not want that?
Maybe he finally came to his senses. Maybe he finally realized there are better things out there than being a vampire. Better than Nandor.
The suitcase doesn’t matter. It doesn’t.
But it’s the last thing he had of Guillermo. And he left it behind.
He’s not going back for it. He’s not. It’ll put him behind on schedule and he needs to keep to the schedule now that Guillermo isn’t here to help him. He’s really not going back for Guillermo’s suitcase.
Fuck.
How can he not go back for it?
Nandor gets off at the next stop. He takes the first train that will get him to Staten Island and Guillermo’s suitcase.
There’s some unfortunate, desperate part of him that’s hoping he’ll get back to the original station and Guillermo will be there, waiting for him.
He’s not, of course.
The only thing on the platform is a lonely red suitcase. And a fresh wave of sadness crashes over Nandor again.
This is it. This is all he has.
Fucking pathetic.
Tears are making a comeback and it takes everything in him to not make a sound.
Once he’s safely back on the train, Nandor opens Guillermo’s suitcase. There’s normal things you take on vacation, clothes, maps, an itinerary. But there at the top is the Nandor and Guillermo dolls he made. Nandor picks them up more carefully than needed. They smell like Guillermo. It had only been a few hours but he missed the comfort of Guillermo’s smell. It smelt like home. A home he couldn’t have anymore.
Getting the suitcase back was starting to feel like a mistake. It was like ripping open a raw wound. All it did was remind him that Guillermo had left. That he had left like everyone else had. And all Nandor has left of Guillermo was this shitty suitcase.
He puts the Nandor doll back in the case and holds the Guillermo doll close to his chest. Hoping maybe it will fill the hole there.
Nandor zips the case shut, keeping the Guillermo doll tucked under one of his arms. He puts the suitcase away where no one else will touch it and takes a seat.
He doesn’t cuddle the Guillermo doll, he’s upset, but he’s not completely losing his mind. He does however, clutch the doll close to his chest. Which is different from cuddling. Obviously.
If he closes his eyes he can almost pretend that the smell is coming from Guillermo and not some doll. Opening his eyes brings back the harshness of reality. So he sits there, eyes closed, on a train to it-doesn’t-matter-where and pretends that everything is okay. Pretends that Guillermo is right next to him and not god knows fucking where. For a moment, Guillermo doll cradled next to his heart, everything was alright.
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Somewhere a few hours from Staten Island on a train is a vampire falling asleep, holding onto a doll like it’s the only thing keeping him on earth.