Work Text:
・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・
There aren’t many things that Jun likes to hide from his members. They know all his secrets; from his embarrassing baby photos to his high school crushes. They know every bit of him, so much so that Jun sometimes wonders if they know him more than he knows himself.
There’s one thing, though, that Jun can’t tell the members. It isn’t a selfish desire or something personal that he keeps to himself, but rather something that protects his boyfriends.
You see, there’s a secret that Jun’s been keeping for over a year now. It has to do with an older staff, maybe thirty or forty years old, who took a special interest in Junhui. It always happens when no one else is around, though there have been times where he was caught slipping up in front of the members. His boyfriends never noticed, though sometimes Jun wishes they did.
As much as he wants his boyfriends to know, he can’t tell them. In between beatings, the staff threatens that he shouldn’t tell anyone of what he did. With the members’ safety on the line, Jun simply can’t risk confiding in them; not if they have to suffer through the same things as he does.
It all started on a Thursday; it was a rough day full of dance practice that Jun couldn’t keep up with. Everyone was dancing as hard as they could but Jun just couldn’t match their energy. A staff had pulled him to the side and when Jun tried to defend his tiredness, the staff easily shut him up with a blow to his cheek.
Jun had cried that day, but he couldn’t tell the members why.
I’ll hurt them too, the staff had said, and it was more than enough to cease Jun’s tears.
The second time it happened was around a month after the first incident. The staff had pulled Jun to the side and punished him again, hitting him harder this time. Jun cried again, which only earned him more blows to the side of his face.
He hasn’t cried since.
On more than one occasion the members have asked about the bruises on his sides and arms, and he’s said the same excuse every time. “It’s just from my extra dance practice,” he would explain, and the members seemed satisfied.
Jun isn’t satisfied, though. He so desperately wants help, someone to turn to, but he can’t risk the other members getting the same treatment as he does. He doesn’t know if telling on the staff will do anyone any good, so he’d rather just put up with the consequences as long as it means his boyfriends are okay.
Today is a Monday, a few months since the first time he was assaulted by the staff member, and only a few days since the last time. Jun is practicing hard, doing his best to not draw himself any attention, but his efforts never prove to be good enough.
“Jun, a word please,” a staff calls out, and Jun knows he can’t pretend to not hear the words. Eyes settle on him as he follows the staff out of the practice room.
Words can’t make their way from Jun’s throat no matter how hard he tries. The staff raises a hand, striking a blow to the side of his cheek.
“You’re dragging the members down,” the staff hisses, the quiet pause between his sentences only interrupted by the loud smack that hits Jun’s arm. “You’re going to be the cause of their downfall.”
Jun doesn’t want to believe the words; he wants to tell himself they aren’t true, that he’s a part of the team for a reason, but he can’t. After months of trying to convince himself he’s finally given up at trying to comfort himself.
I know, he thinks. He knows.
It doesn’t even hurt anymore, he realizes, barely flinching when the staff member tugs his hair harshly. He just closes his eyes and waits for the vulgar stream of words to come to an end.
“The group would be so much better without you dragging them down,” growls the staff, and Jun sees the truth behind the words. He’s thrown back against a wall, the breath knocking out of his throat.
He wants to cry, but as always, no tears come out.
“You’re so stupid, you can’t even keep up with the dance practice. You’re an absolute disgrace.”
“A disgrace?”
Jun’s heart stops. His eyes flinch open, feeling the hands leave his shoulders suddenly. There’s a loud thump and when his eyes focus, Mingyu has the staff member pinned to the wall.
“A disgrace?” Mingyu repeats, his tone alone enough to make Jun’s stomach churn.
The ruckus must have drawn attention because when Jun steps back, he feels his back hit something behind him. He turns to see Soonyoung standing behind him with wide eyes.
“What’s this about?” Comes Seungcheol’s voice, startling Jun to look forward again. With much arguing Mingyu lets the staff go, his spot replaced with their leader. Seungcheol stands close enough to the staff for the man to shrink away from his gaze. Then he seems to muster up courage and steps closer to Seungcheol, the two of them having a stare-down.
“What’s it to you?” The staff asks, puffing out his chest as if it makes him seem scarier. It doesn’t, not to Seungcheol, who doesn’t even flinch.
There’s a few moments of silence before a loud slap resonates through the room and Seungcheol stumbles backwards. People are suddenly rushing forward but no one can get to their leader’s side before he aims a punch right at the staff’s jaw, retaliation for being slapped seconds earlier.
There’s a sudden chaos, people pulling the two apart and trying to figure out what was happening. Jun felt his face becoming moistened with tears, his eyes closing tightly and his hands coming up to cover his ears. The earlier sting from being hit has subsided and now he’s just scared, worried that he caused problems he never meant to cause.
It feels like seconds but must be more because when he opens his eyes he’s sitting and his boyfriends are next to him, leaning into his side. He glances at the clock on the wall and confirms that only a few minutes have passed.
“Where’s the guy?” Jun asks, his voice smaller than it ever had been. His voice cracks from the stress.
“Just in another room,” Wonwoo explains. Jun can feel a hand wrap around his own and he squeezes back.
“What’d he do to you?” Comes Minghao’s strained voice, his eyebrows furrowed as if he’s angry. His hand is gentle when it comes to feel Jun’s arm, undoubtedly covered in bruises.
Jun remembers the man’s threat to hurt the members and realizes it’s true; that he’s in this alone if he wants his boyfriends to stay safe.
“Nothing,” he lies, his mind racing to come up with an excuse. He falls short, closing his mouth in defeat.
“I saw him hit you,” Mingyu whispers, and that’s enough to end Jun’s worrying. There’s nothing he can do.
“It’s been happening for a while now,” Jun confesses, and the members don’t reply. The hand on his tightens their grip and he feels a hand pat his head.
“I love you,” whispers Seokmin, and it causes a train of whispered praises to leave his boyfriends’ mouths. He’s being held, pulled into their arms one at a time, and it feels nice. Comforting.
“Let’s end this,” says Vernon, and everyone seems to agree. No one makes an effort to leave though, too busy giving Jun his much-needed affection.
“I love you guys,” Jun finally answers, earning himself a second round of compliments. The hard floor beneath him is starting to make his butt ache and his arms are bruised up, but inside the imbrace of his boyfriends, he can’t even bother to care. He feels warm, cared for, and most of all, important. He slowly realizes that everything that man said to him is a lie, something to scare him and make him struggle. But now, his struggles would come to an end. Slowly but surely he’d be happy again.
“Let’s get you some ice for your bruises,” says Woozi, and Jun thinks it’s a wonderful idea. He’s pulled to his feet and placed on Mingyu’s back, earning a piggyback ride to the mini fridge in their studio.
Joshua holds the ice pack to Jun’s arms, and though it’s cold, Jun can feel the pain seeping away. He’s set onto the swivel chair of their studio and once again surrounded by twelve warm bodies who have started to hum a quiet tune. He hums along as well, recognizing the song as one of their own; it’s Home, a song that always makes Jun feel warm and fuzzy inside.
It’s now that Jun realizes just how much his boyfriends love him. The fact that he’s admired and cared for sends shivers down his spine; it’s the feeling he’s been waiting for all his life, and here it’s been, in front of his eyes for so long now. The realization hits him like a truck.
The words leave Jun’s mouth without a second thought. “You guys are everything I’ve been needing.”
There’s silence for a few moments, only interrupted by Minghao’s voice saying, “Me too.”
A chorus of agreement rises and he’s pulled closer to Seungkwan’s chest, Hoshi suddenly sitting in his lap. He’s smothered with kisses that tint his cheeks a rosy pink and brings the biggest smile to his face.
You’re my home, Jun thinks, and in his mind the words are repeated by twelve distinct voices.
Me too.
・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・