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“She won’t speak. I don’t understand, Persephone. I’ve tried everything.” Hermès rested his chin on his hands and stared at the counter. His eyes traced the long dark brown lines twisting across tan wood. Somewhere along the way, he saw the face that someone had spotted. What appeared to be an owl’s face, trimmed with lighter lines. They pointed out every time they visited and he kept it in his mind in case there came a time when they forgot.
“You’ll have to give her time.” Persephone put her hand on his shoulder comfortingly. It’s been a while since he was so distressed and she truly wanted to make him feel better, but even after all this time she was still so clueless.
“I just wish I could make her feel comfortable here sooner.” Despite his wishes, he knew that they may never feel at home here. No matter how hard they would try, there was always a chance he would leave the first chance he got. A little piece of his old heart would be chipped off then, but he would need to brush it off. Though he had only met the kid a couple of times, he wanted nothing more than to protect him as if he was his own.
“It won’t be long. We need to give her a bit of space. I mean, she just lost her mom.”
It was silent for a moment. He was not used to the whole parenting thing, that’s for sure. All he wanted to do was make this child feel at home, but he didn’t know how to do that.
Was there really nothing that could be done? He usually had the answer. It was weird to feel so confused and afraid. A feeling such as failure was there, but not prevalent.
“Don’t think on it too much. She’ll come around eventually..”
Hermès sighed at her words. Neither of them had really been expecting Calliope to fall ill. She was healthy the last time they saw her. What had gone wrong? What was he going to do?
“I’ve met so many kids throughout the years and I still don’t know how to take care of one.”
“Brother, nobody said it was gonna be easy from day one. Least we can do is make her feel welcome.”
Footsteps came down the stairs and ahead slowly poked out from around the corner. Persephone lifted her hand up and walked over to the child standing there, looking nervous and red-eyed. Their jacket from earlier remained on them much against Hermes' offer of hanging it up to dry from the cold snow.
“Hello, Lydia.”
He just stared at the ground, fidgeting with his bright red bandana tied around his neck. There were a few moments where no one said anything and the child merely wiped their eyes a few times. Dark hair hung in front of their face as they accidentally brushed against the areas it was tucked behind their ears, but they didn’t move it back.
“Do you need something, hun?”
Persephone asked, but Orpheus didn’t reply. He wanted to speak, he really did, but he just couldn’t get the words out. They were resting on the tip of his tongue, but something was weighing him down and preventing him from getting them out.
She watched him fidget with his bandana quietly, like he was feeling the cloth it was made out of. They didn’t know what to think of the situation they were in. Their mother was gone and he was in a completely new space. He hated every second he was here, despite having known Hermes and Persephone for years. All he wanted was to wake up and be at home with his mother, laying next to her in her bed. Maybe if he squeezed his eyes shut enough, he wouldn’t be in this nightmare anymore. And so he did. The lights above shined through his eyelids and he shifted his head so he faced the ground. At this point, he didn’t care what they said. Whatever they asked at this point was irrelevant
Orpheus just wanted things to go back. With all of his heart, he hated change. He hated the rain that had dampened his bandana and he hated the buzzing of the lights above. He hated the wind sneaking in from a slightly open window near the door. But most of all, he hated himself for whatever he had done wrong. There had to be something he could’ve done to prevent her death. If he had paid more attention, asked for help, or gods above did something more, he would be in her arms right now. His mind wouldn’t be swarming with regret and his eyes would be empty of tears.
Orpheus covered his ears to try and stop the thoughts, but they poked and prodded at him like he was nothing. Every single question and insult ended with “you could’ve done more.” Everything was too loud and he felt like he was going to die. Perhaps if he did, there could be a chance to have her back. His hands moved to the back of his head, almost cradling himself in his arms.
“Lydia? Are you okay?”
He hated his name. He hated being here. Here in this place, in this mind, and in this body. As a hand found itself on his shoulder, he jerked away, not caring if he accidentally hit something. The person stood in front and they knew because they could hear their shoes settling on the wood. It creaked slightly and he felt so overwhelmed. Weight was building up in his arms and he wanted to scream. To try and alleviate the heaviness, he let his arms drop down. As they did, they found that as his hands moved, they felt better. Because of this, he shook them quickly and the pressure in his head began to clear a little.
After a couple of minutes, he opened his eyes a bit but still stared at the ground. His breath was evening out and he didn’t even know it was unsteady. To help, he sat on the stairs nearby and took off his bandana. As he felt the cloth closely, he found his head clearing up. Instead of focusing on the negative thoughts intruding, he turned his attention to the texture of the cloth. It was worn down and softer than a normal one, but he loved it. It was his comfort item and helped him in moments like these. Though, now the moment had passed, he felt slightly embarrassed.
Orpheus couldn’t bare to look up at the two, but he didn’t have to since one of them slowly joined his side. They didn’t speak to him for a moment and he tugged on his bandana nervously.
“You okay?” Persephone wanted to put her hand on his shoulder, but figured it best not to at that moment.
“Need space.”
And he needed space for 6 years. Orpheus finally gained the courage to come out a little while before they’re fourteenth birthday. Hermes and Persephone fully supported him and made him feel safe. Some patrons stopped coming to the bar because of it, but Hermes merely grinned and said “we don’t need ‘em anyways.”
But Orpheus had to come out again. At least, that’s what he felt he had to do. They had fallen in love with someone named Eurydice and he knew that she was kind, but he still wasn’t sure how she would react to this. With all the courage he could muster, he broke a brief silence on one of their dates. Sitting under the night sky with her, he finally decided to do it.
“I need to tell you something.”
Eurydice looked up from where she sat next to him, expecting the worst.
“I’m er..” Now that the moment was approaching them, they suddenly felt unable to speak. That is until Eurydice cupped his cheek and traced the area just underneath his eyes with her thumb soothingly.
Orpheus leaned into it and let the tears drop from their face.
“I’m transgender. I haven’t always… presented like this.”
She didn’t reply at first and kissed his nose, keeping her hand on his face.
“So.. what do you go by?”
He stared at her for a moment, his lips curving into a bright smile.
“He or they. Like both of them.”
“If it makes you feel better, I go by she and they myself.” Their other hand found his and held it gently.
“Half matching pronouns.”
Eurydice laughed and removed her hand from his face to ruffle his hair.
“Half matching pronouns, Orpheus.”