Work Text:
It’s nearly midnight when she bursts into his office.
Jordan just got out of the station showers, scrubbing the last bit of ash from underneath his fingernails, so he’s still shirtless when Lydia walks in, and it takes him so off guard that he almost trips over his own two feet. Thankfully though, he doesn’t.
“L-Lydia?”
She doesn’t seem one bit affected that she stumbled in on him half naked, although Jordan does notice the quick once over she gives him before bringing her gaze back up to his face, and he can see that she’s angry.
“You died again, didn’t you?” She asks, no, demands.
“How did you find—”
“Stiles told me,” she cuts him off promptly, and then her angry expression falters and softens, her once crossed arms falling to her sides. She looks at him sadly now. “You said you would be more careful.”
He did say that, the last time he had died. And it’s not that he purposefully let himself die this time. It was either him or a civilian, and if there’s a highly likely possibility that he will come back to life, then he’s ready to take that risk if it means he can save another person who doesn’t have that possibility.
Lydia, on the other hand, doesn’t approve of this at all and he’s still trying to understand why. They’d become close in the past few months by working on cases more often together and with Lydia trying to help him figure out what he is, while he tries his best to be there for her when she needs someone to talk to. Jordan doesn’t exactly know where they stand with their relationship, and with the longing looks, late night conversations over coffee, and confiding in one another, he sometimes thinks they’re dancing around a dangerous line.
“I know I said that, Lydia, and I’m sorry but you have to understand that it’s also my job,” he says slowly, calmly, and when he tries to set a gentle hand on her arm, she flinches from him and turns away. He doesn’t try to step closer to her again, respecting her space. “Okay, okay, maybe it’s not in my job description to sacrifice my life…But if I can save an innocent civilian from danger, then I’m going to do it, even if it means—Lydia?”
She starts to tremble, arms wrapped tightly around herself, and then before Jordan realizes it, she lets out a quiet whimper. She’s crying.
Jordan immediately steps towards her, “Lydia, oh my god, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to—”
She turns around to face him so fast that her strawberry blonde locks almost hit him in the face, as she starts hitting his bare chest with her balled up fists. “Why, why, why, why don’t you understand?!”
Jordan lets her take her frustration out on him for a few moments, although he’s completely surprised by her reaction, and before she tires herself out or worse, hurts herself, he swiftly grabs a hold of her wrists, stopping her. She looks up at him with eyes brimmed with tears and all he wants to do is wrap his arms around her and let her cry into his chest. “Lydia,” he says softly instead, “please, talk to me.”
And when he’s sure she isn’t going to try and hit him again, Jordan gently lets go of her wrists and she doesn’t retaliate. Instead, she stands there, blinking away at her tears. “You don’t understand,” she says again, “I’ve lost so many people, Jordan. I-I can’t afford to lose another person that I—” She pauses abruptly then, lower lip quivering and her gaze lowering to the floor, and Jordan’s eyes go wide.
He worriedly steps closer to her again and she doesn’t step back this time. “Someone you what, Lydia…?”
Her tears finally fall, letting them streak her cheeks as she glances back up at him. “Someone I love,” she whispers, voice choked.
Hearing these words, Jordan doesn’t know what to say, and it’s not because he doesn’t love her, it’s because he does love her and he’s probably always loved her, ever since the first time they met. But he’s kept it buried inside himself for so long that he doesn’t know what to do now.
So he does the only thing he can do. He wraps his arms around her carefully, just in case she tenses up and pulls away but when she doesn’t, he pulls her in gently until she’s crying into his chest and he’s rubbing a soothing hand up and down her back. “Hey, hey…you don’t have to be afraid of losing another person,” he tells her reassuringly, “because I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, and I’ll always be here, and I’ll always come back to you.” The last two words slip out of him involuntarily, but Lydia doesn’t seem to mind as he feels her nod against him.
Jordan lets her cry it all out, and he holds her until she doesn’t want to be held no more.