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Heh.
She never had the opportunity to call his name.
Lumine could always do it now, but she would be wasting his time. After all, what would be the point of calling him if there was no hope? She couldn’t move, there was no place that could help nearby, and she didn’t have any supplies.
It would be futile, not to mention she would be adding to his already unbearable suffering, and that was the last thing Lumine wanted. Be a burden, a bad memory. Surely he must’ve enjoyed their time together at Wangshu Inn? The chuckle that escaped her lips at the memory was painful in her abdomen, and she coughed out blood in consequence, wincing.
How would he find out? Would he ever find out? There was a chance he’d believe she just continued with her journey, and left all acquaintances behind once she found her brother. With how pessimistic the Yaksha tended to be, Lumine didn’t rule out the possibility. Then again, they considered themselves to be friends… he might begin to question why she stopped visiting Liyue altogether.
Lumine sighed with difficulty, and despite her vision being hazy, she could see her cold breath, which blended perfectly with the snow surrounding her. She yearned for warmth. His warmth, to be more specific, let it be the one he gave her whenever he helped her climb mountains with his Adeptus Art, or the one that came with her rosy cheeks at his affectionate gestures.
Closing her eyes, she tried to picture him in her mind. His Cor Lapis eyes every time they softened just by looking at her, the smiles of his she’d caught after she laughed at something he had said, the way her entire being fluttered at his hand squeezing hers on the rare yet precious occasion they’d be holding hands in the first place.
He was so precious to her, so invaluable, Lumine couldn’t help but feel bad she didn’t spend more time with him. Those unspoken words that always got stuck on the tip of her tongue, no matter how hard she tried to get them out, she never could. And now, she would never get another chance to try. Maybe it was for the better, anyway; reciprocated feelings would only make her death worse.
…
They never went to Liyue Harbor together, either.
There were many things they never had the opportunity to do.
…
Left with only her thoughts, Lumine felt alone. What would Paimon say to her, if she were to hear her thoughts? Accuse her of being completely smitten, maybe, or maybe she would complain about the cold and the lack of food.
Her eyes began to sting and she tried not to cry at the thought of Paimon returning with help, only to find that she got there too late. The second Lumine saw the wound, she knew there was no hope left for her, yet Paimon insisted, and the starborn traveler didn’t have the heart to deny her. If only he had come to mind earlier, there might have been a chance.
It was too late now, though.
Lumine coughed again and she could feel herself slowly fading away, her soul scratching at her body, begging to be free from the horrible pain, yearning for the stars. Despite her current state, she managed to smile and the moment of weakness allowed those tears to stream freely down her cheeks. The stars… She would be able to look after him from above, as an apology for never being fully honest with him.
…
She wanted to apologize.
She needed to apologize to him, and the sudden urge to call him itched at her hoarse throat, as if poking at her wounded side to do one last good thing in her life. Her mind sought for comfort and now it insisted on finding it only by uttering his name out. With desperation lacing her thoughts, Lumine wasn’t at peace anymore, her resolve had come down to mere crumbs once she realized she wouldn’t be able to ever say sorry, for the pain she would cause him and for being so reckless, for never voicing her true feelings and for not keeping her promise. So many things, so many things-
Opening her mouth, she tried to muster the strength to say his name, though her lungs definitely didn’t cooperate, and she found herself coughing out blood again. Her eyelids were heavy and Lumine was tempted to just close her eyes then and there, but the need hadn’t left. His eyes, his face—she needed to see them one last time.
Just once.
She tried inhaling to the best of her capabilities, and despite her best attempts, only a whisper left her pale lips. It wouldn’t be enough, he wouldn’t hear her.
“Xiao…”
Her body slumped against the rock and the bloodied hand covering her wound fell to the side as Lumine closed her eyes, slowly falling prey to the darkness and exhaustion. Soon the pain dissipated and that need of hers just wasn’t a priority anymore, and in spite of her mind screaming at her to try again, to call him again, she just wanted to sleep, to reach the stars and hope she’ll meet her brother there eventually.
The cool, unforgiving winds were lulling her to sleep effortlessly. Images of her life flashed in her mind; the different worlds her and Aether had visited, her adventures in Teyvat, him…
Her last breath of life allowed her to recognize a faint “Lumine!” in the distance. The voice sounded familiar, and in spite of the shock and desperation that accompanied that call, it strangely helped her—it gave her that warmth she had craved for earlier, yet forgot about—and she finally, finally, fell asleep, with one last thought in her mind.
I’m sorry.