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The endroll.
No matter how many times he had watched it, every time he saw her name on the credits, he couldn't help but smile. Just like every time she appeared on screen too.
He never wanted to admit it, but, after all these years, he's still in love with her. A secret he kept hidden deep down, one he never actually told anyone. Despite the rumors they were dating and the adamant denial from both parties--
...Rui never actually told her he loved her. At least, not in the way he did. By the time he got the courage to say something, it felt like it was too late. Everyone was already on their separate ways, and before he knew it, he graduated. Nene graduated too. The two still kept in touch, updating each other on their lives. Eventually, they both moved away from the place they had called home for the past 18-or-so years.
Nene would text him about new roles she got in her freshly found stardom, and he'd respond right back with his newest project. This was good enough for him, it's not like she *had* to know. But the thought tempted him. At any moment, he could just... tell her. Tell her he loved her. He still loves her.
But it's a little late for that, isn't it? All he can do is watch from a distance now, watch as she succeeds. Maybe one day, they won't talk anymore. She's practically famous, what would she want to do with someone like him? Some random high school boy she knew?
"...Dude. Earth to Rui." A voice came from reality, bringing him back.
"Ah, sorry Mizuki. I was a little lost in thought."
"Uh-huh... whatcha thinkin' about?"
They had been preparing dinner, as a certain... someone wasn't allowed to touch the pans after a little incident. Rui quickly got up from the living room couch and joined Mizuki for dinner.
"...Same as always." He shook his head. "What's the point in telling you if it's just... the same thing over and over?"
"Man, it's been like, what, 3 years and you're *still* thinking about her? I don't wanna sound mean, but ya gotta let go sometime soon."
"I know, I know. It's hard though."
Mizuki sighed, tossing a carrot onto Rui's plate. As he looked at them with something like disgust, they held back a laugh. "You say that every tiiiiiime! You're like a broken record at this point..."
"You act like that's all I talk about."
"...It's not, buuuuut..."
They got up, grabbing both of their plates. As they walked in the kitchen, Rui followed. Clearly he still wanted to talk a little, maybe to get his mind off of the topic for once.
"...I maaaay have an idea. You two call sometimes, right?"
"Usually. Haven't had time to lately because of all the film stuff though."
"Alright. So, next time you two talk, call, whatever, just.. tell her."
"...You are insane. I am not telling her." Rui let a little embarrassment slip, he'd die if she found out somehow.
"Nah. I gotcha. Just say it was a high school crush or somethin'. Don't mention how you like her now. I mean, people have those awkward high school crushes. Surely she'd laugh about it with ya!"
"Maybe..."
He sighed. But that'd lead into another conversation... what if she liked someone else at the time?
What if she liked him back, and he could've said something this whole time? What if holding it in was all for nothing in the end?
He didn't want to think about that.
"I think I'll just head to bed now. I have work a little earlier in the morning than usual."
"Ah, really? That suuuuuucks... I'll probably be up all night if ya need me!"
"..Thanks, Mizuki. Night."
"Niiiight! Sleep well!"
"You too, if.. you actually sleep tonight."
---
He walked to his room, softly closing his door. A mess, of course, as was his style. No matter how many times his roommate had bothered him about cleaning it, it'd somehow always end up that way. He simply turned the lights off and climbed into bed, not worrying about anything else. All that lit up the room was his phone light, albeit it was fairly dim.
He checked his messages, looking through for her number. Surely, he could just say something now, couldn't he? It's not like he had to say it face-to-face. But, the second he clicked on her messages, all the courage left him. He couldn't.
He couldn't anymore. It was a little too late to tell the truth, but too late to live out a lie yet.
He simply texted her the usual, how her day was, what things were like, you name it.
Maybe one day, in the future, he'd say something. One day.
Today's not that day though.
One day, she'll leave his thoughts. She'll just be another friend of his.
...Maybe if fate had played its hand a little differently, things would be different. Maybe they'd be happily married already, they'd have a family.
She'd have that future, surely, but... with someone else. Not him.
No point in dreaming when you're not asleep yet. As soon as their chat ended, he put his phone down and tried to sleep. Tomorrow was a new day, another chance at telling her, another time he'll fail.
One day, though, he'll say it. By that point, it'll be useless.
But as long as he keeps these feelings, he won't be able to say it.