Chapter Text
An exquisite woman was sitting at the bar lazily stirring her drink with a straw. Her delicate features were marred by an unhappy frown. She was thinking too much about things that mattered too little, and yet spoiled her mood frequently.
She was watching the alcohol swirl in a glass and thought about the pointlessness of existence. On a big scale, they were but a spec of dust. The action they took, the heartache they felt, the losses they survived, the scars they acquired were unimportant. The big picture existed outside their control. The universe did not care for the pain it inflicted.
The life was a mere illusion – nothing truly mattered, and everything could be replaced. She acknowledged that purpose did not exist, and yet, she longed to have one.
She could not just float, and she refused to give in into the whispers. She was better than that. At least, she hoped she could be. And yet if this all equalled to zero, what was she doing here?
“Hey there, fancy a dance?”
She rolled her eyes and turned; a snarky remark ready to fall from her sharp tongue and stilled. A familiar face was looking at her with unmistakable desire. It amused her enough to soften the blow that she was about to deliver.
“You almost made me regret my foul mood.” She said pleasantly, watching how he grinned at her and sat on the empty stool beside her.
“That impressive, huh?” He flirted.
“Admittedly so. Regrettably not enough to change my mind regarding company.” She remarked blandly.
“Are you sure?” He asked sweetly, making her lips twitch in involuntary smile.
“Yes.” She confirmed, despite feeling a bit better. His presence was strangely soothing. She had noticed that from day one, and even though he rarely spoke civilly with her male from, he still had this effect on her.
“Ok. What do you want then?” He asked unperturbed, smiling at her invitingly. She chuckled, shaking her head. He was unrelenting. No matter what it was that he wanted, he made sure to get it. Tonight, he obviously chose her. It was ironic, since normally he wanted nothing to do with her.
She smirked, taking her sweet time, sipping her drink, and stretching the silence.
It did not bother him. He ordered a drink for himself and kept smiling at her as if nothing was wrong in the world.
They sat side by side, drinking. He did not pester her, patiently waiting for her to speak. She kept quiet, interested to know how long he could go on without talking.
A tipsy, young male spoiled her experiment. He swaggered, leaning on the bar and grabbed her hand, demanding to dance with him. She scoffed, but before she could dislocate his shoulder, Tony got between them and told the male to fuck off. The man recognised him, and quickly lost his superior look, scrambling away and apologising pathetically.
Tony glared at the male till he got lost in the crowd. Then he exiled and turned to her with a concerned look on his handsome face.
“Are you all right?” He asked gently. She nodded transfixed, trying to remember the time when she felt protected, and was coming up with nothing. It was a bittersweet moment since she was aware that if he knew who she was he wouldn’t have done that. But he wasn’t aware, and she wasn’t good enough to refuse such opportunity.
“Peachy. I’m used to being objectified.” She shrugged. The grimace of distaste that appeared on Tony’s face was hilarious, so she laughed.
“Are you really?” He asked, taking his seat.
“Hmm, not yet, but soon I will be. All my life I tried to prove something or other, never succeeding in anything. Whatever I did got harshly criticized. I didn’t get any recognition for any of my sacrifices. I was frequently told that I am not good enough, that I am defective, useless. Thus, at some point I started to believe it, and then…well, I got the proof of it. It broke me. I’ve realised that I was nothing but a mere object to be tossed around by those who were more powerful than me. It pissed me off, so I fought back and guess what? I lost again.” She ranted, starring unseeingly into the nothingness. “If to be frank, I’m exhausted.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Tony whispered dejectedly.
The sadness she heard in Tony’s voice caught her attention and she focused on him again. He looked shocked and heartbroken. It warmed and annoyed her simultaneously.
“The reason I don’t want to socialize today is simple: I have no patience for small-talks and pleasantries. I don’t wish to know “what’s up?”. I wish to get drunk and throw a pity party. So, you are free to get lost.”
“Neah.” Tony said and called the bartender. Then he ordered a bottle of scotch and invited her to join him in a VIP room. She didn’t refuse.
@->--
They drank half of the bottle when Tony suddenly blubbered: “Don’t take it the wrong way, but you remind me of Loki.”
She stopped breathing and got significantly soberer in a moment, franticly thinking what to say. Tony laughed.
“Oh my God, your face!”
“Hey!” She hissed, punching him lightly.
“Don’t pout. It’s a compliment.” Tony said confidently, confusing her further.
“You better explain…” She said, hiding curiosity behind annoyance.
“Loki he is…much, like you. He, also, snarls a lot, trying to alienate everyone.” Tony shared carefully.
“It doesn’t make us similar. Many people are like that. Take you, per example.” She waved her hand dismissively.
“Hmm, but I’m not, like you two. You are sweet and kind inside.” He said, and she choked on her drink. Did her ears fail her? Tony had the goal to laugh at her again. She scowled, getting irritated for real.
“Very similar.” He hummed. “Loki would throw me out of the window, though.”
“Maybe I should tell him, so he would avenge us both.” She commented darkly.
“Maybe you should.” Tony said, and toasted her, enigmatic smile playing on his lips. Her heart jumped, and cold fear settled in the base of her spine. Did Tony guess who she was? Impossible.
“You sure talk sweetly about the guy who swore to decapitate you on live-TV. Do you have a crush on him or something?” She noted nastily.
“It’s hard not to.” Tony said nonchalantly, making her snort.
“Sure, sure.”
“I swear.” Tony said, smiling dreamily.
“That cannot be. Everyone knows that you cannot have a conversation without getting at each other throats.” She sputtered.
“Never said he is not infuriating. Doesn’t make him any less desirable, though.”
“That’s bullshit!” She growled, forgetting for a second that she supposed to be someone else, probably not caring about this topic at all.
“Yeah, I imagine he would think the same. But, hey, good news he is not here, and you are much softer.” Tony purred, leaning closer. Her eyes widened, but she did not move away. She abruptly realised that she wanted this, maybe even craved, for a time.
“So, you’ll use me as a substitute?” She mumbled, rooted to the spot. Tony’s eyes appeared gorgeous up close. She hadn’t noticed how many different specks of colour were imbedded in his irises. It reminded her of the Universes unexplored, and she wished to know what they were hiding.
“I don’t know if it really counts as a substitute.” He proclaimed, and before she could react in any way, he kissed her.
His lips were warm and firm, moving in confident manner. She melted under the caress. It became unimportant if he knew. The touch was all that mattered.
@->--
In the morning she woke up in Tony’s bed and cursed the Nines. It was the stupidest decision she has ever made.
“Good morning.” Tony greeted her from the bedroom door. He had a tray in his hands. Unmistakable aroma of mint tea hit her nose, and she groaned. She was busted and, probably, in a lot of trouble.
“Tony…” She started, but he shooshed her, bringing the tray and putting it on the bed. She stared at the bagels and fruits that she loved and wondered when he managed to study her so well.
“I hope your preferences do not change with your gender.” He said amusingly, making her blush beet-red.
“You knew.” She whispered, mortified.
“Right from the start.” He confirmed. She bristled at his arrogance, and turned to him, glaring.
“You couldn’t have. I look nothing, like my male self.”
“That’s true and fascinating, but you cannot completely change your mannerism.” Tony argued.
“You do not know me that well!” She hissed on principle. It was frightening to think that he did.
“I do not claim to but let me remind you that I have spent a lot of time arguing with you. I would recognise your drawl out of billions, sunshine.” Tony teased. She huffed.
“Was it fun, fooling me like that?” She asked, taking the tea, and making a sip.
“Yeah. Also, I relished in the opportunity to talk to you without the usual spectacle.” He admitted easily.
“You did enjoy much more than a conversation.” She reminded petulantly.
“An unexpected bonus.” Tony said. “However, you enjoyed it just as much.”
She could deny that, but the night had been highly pleasant, and she didn’t wish to spoil it with pettiness. Tony was right, she was softer in this form.
“I hope this will stay between us.” She finalised, putting her tea on the tray, and getting up.
“Like a secret relationship or one night stand?” Tony inquired levelly.
She paused. She, frankly, didn’t think about it. She was aware that Tony meant something to her, but she didn’t look closely at those feelings. Yesterday, she was not quite herself. Thus, it was hard to say what she genuinely wanted. Her indecision, though, hinted that that something won’t leave anytime soon.
“I don’t know.” She said and transformed. The attraction did not fade with it, as he expected. He messed up royally this time. “I’ve never been interested in someone regardless of my gender.”
“That impressive, huh?” Tony flirted, smiling at him invitingly.
Loki chuckled. He didn’t know why, but he was certain that they would be glorious together.
“Admittedly so.” Loki said, following his instincts and kissing Tony deeply. Tony’s taste made his head spin, and his heart fluttered gingerly.
In the end, Tony was wrong. Loki’s gender wasn’t responsible for softness, Tony was.