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Everything goes to shit when Daniel dies.
Buck's life is the first one to crumble. The news spreads across the kingdom like early summer cockroaches. Today, news that Crown Prince Daniel has not returned from the battlefield is brought to the royal palace, and tomorrow unrest begins on the borderlands. Daniel dies too damn inopportunely. The lazy-dragging conflict with the neighbors is gaining momentum. The drought, drying out the neighbors, licks their lands that have just recently recovered from the plague. The royal family grieves and, with letters of sympathy, they receive letters from nobles and distant relatives, cautiously wondering when it will be possible to intermarry with them through their youngest son, who is about to be announced next in line to the throne.
Buck’s that youngest son, and the last thing he ever wished upon the shooting stars, was a crown. He enjoys being a prince, somewhere in line to the throne. The plan was that Daniel would marry someone for love or for political reasons, they would have children and those children would all line up between Buck and the throne, and he would continue not to bother anyone, ride a horse, train and spend time with the people of the kingdom. Now Buck can forget about all this, because a crown, heavy as an executioner's ax, hangs over his head. His parents hadn’t been enthusiastic about him before, probably from the lack of ambition to become the battle master, as he was supposed to as a younger child, but Buck refused to make killing people his life mission. Now they turn all their attention and discontent to him. Buck's ready to swallow all his tears shed on Maddie's shoulder about how he longed for his parents’ love and how hard it was for him to feel their indifferent looks, because their attention turned out to be worse than the whips he got a taste of for crimping with a stable boy.
Sometimes Buck thinks his parents blame him for Daniel's death, wishing it was him there amid blood, mud and lifeless bodies.
Sometimes Buck is sure of it.
Daniel's body is impossible to find. Heavy rains, mud and overflowing rivers turn the battlefield into a swamp, where you will rather perish than find a crowned deadman. He is not returning home, and the queen cries at the oak table in the middle of dinner, which she never lets herself do. Buck chews bread and thinks that he wants the same love. Disruptive, honest and ugly in sorrow. He knows that no one at the table loves him that much. Replace him with a dummy doll, no one would notice. Maybe Maddie would’ve noticed, but she's too far away. Buck gets up from the table, his dinner unfinished. No one says a word or looks at him, and he feels like a ghost in this castle.
Dead Daniel is more alive right now than he is.
The position of the royal family becomes more precarious than ever. Instead of two sons, who gave the dynasty stability, they are left with one. Maddie's already married, and her rights to the throne are as much as the last breath of the captain going down with the ship. One successful assassination attempt would’ve sown enough chaos to give a chance for a revolution. Buck knows that the same distant relatives who are now in a hurry to marry him will cut his throat with the same zeal. Maybe he never wanted to become king, but he is not stupid. He knows that the only chance to ensure the position of their dynasty is for him to get married and have an heir right now, or for his father to do the same. His mother can no longer give the kingdom heirs, but the king could always beg the church for a divorce and marry someone who can. And even if Buck doesn’t remember her love, he doesn’t want such a fate for his mother. Remain a shadow of past greatness, leave the castle, forget the name that she wore for so long, give up the title to which she devoted her whole life. Buck doesn’t care that this turn of events will exclude him from the royal family as well. He never felt like a part of it, anyway.
Sometimes Buck wonders if his own father will kill him. With Buck’s death, the church wouldn't have refused the divorce to the king, because he had no heirs left. Buck is frightened by the thought, and even more frightened by the fact that the only reason for his father to keep him alive he can think of is the risk of losing his entire kingdom between his death and the birth of a new heir.
Can he beg Daniel's soul back to the mortal earth from heaven?
Life comes to the throne room with the rustle of light armor and the smooth sound of footsteps. The knight has dark eyes, dark hair, and a scar that runs across his cheek. Buck doesn't know if his skin is swarthy or he has tanned on the way through the deceptive sun, but this sets him apart from the pale-faced royal family. He looks like a smudge of paint that has fallen slovenly onto a cracked canvas. The knight kneels before Buck because now that's what people do. Because he’s the crown prince, because he’s the future king, because stability in the kingdom depends on his next breath. This knight is the new chief of his personal guard. His shadow, his faithful dog. Buck knows he was in two wars and was captured in the last one. Buck knows this job is a reward for loyal service for him - a warm place in the royal castle next to a worthless prince. Buck doesn’t trust the knight with his life, because he knows that people who have gone through hell are not enthusiastic about returning there for the sake of royals.
Buck asks him to stand. The knight has a soft look, as if he sees all of Buck's unloved parts, and Buck wants to tell him to look away. Instead, he stares at the scar as if hoping it’ll make the knight feel just as uncomfortable as Buck does. He reaches out to touch it, and the knight twitches, but doesn’t pull away, allowing Buck’s hand to stay close to his face. The scar is sloppy, angry, crumbling closer to the temple. It’s obvious that it healed without doctors’ touch, without clean water, without careful hands. Buck wonders how many more scars like that are hidden by knight’s armor.
The knight doesn’t like the closeness of his hand to the scar, and Buck considers this a small victory in a battle only he’s aware of.
“Is there a problem, Your Highness?” the knight — Edmundo, Eddie — asks when they are alone. He is extremely polite, but Buck still feels the condescension hidden behind this question. Buck knows that he lashes out on Eddie because he embodies the irreversibility of what happened. He is proof that Daniel is dead, and Buck’s going to ascend the throne and it feels the same as approaching the guillotine.
“I don’t trust you,” God, he sounds like a spoiled child, but he’s not going to back down. He decided to hate this knight, and he will stick to the plan.
Eddie chuckles slightly, as if it doesn't bother him at all.
“Is there anything I can do to change that?” he asks patiently.
Buck doesn't know what he expected. Eddie can’t express his displeasure with the situation to him, can’t say what he really thinks about the crowned prince. Buck’s ready for any reaction except the one he gets — patient and calm.
“You can't just waltz into the throne room and expect me to trust you with my safety”.
“Do I look like a person who runs from a fight?”
“You look like you know what hell feels like and people who do usually try to avoid going back”.
“Your Highness. I know that you’re scared and grieving over your brother. Your life has changed in a single night. It must be hard. But I heard a lot of good things about you outside the castle and I promise I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe”.
Eddie looks so gentle and wary, and Buck can see that it all comes from the fact that Eddie’s capable of great violence. It hides in his shoulders, in his relaxed posture, in an open hand gesture. That pisses Buck off, too. He would’ve been perfectly content with the usual guards of the castle. Athena did a great job keeping him alive until now.
It pisses him off how well Eddie understands him.
“Tell me something about yourself. Personal,” if Buck is such an open book for Eddie, then he wants to get something in return.
Eddie raises his eyebrows.
“I have a kid. His name is Christopher, he’s with my aunt right now”.
“And his mom?”
“Plague”.
Buck instantly feels guilty about this question. The plague ended not that long ago. Eddie's wound, he just so stupidly touched, is probably still fresh. The same as Buck's longing for his brother, even if they were never particularly close. Daniel was everyone’s favorite. He was special. The first son, the perfect future king, noble, brave, honest. Buck was a "spare" child, born solely to strengthen the position of the family, hoping they would never need him.
“Anything else, Your Highness?”
Whatever Eddie felt being asked about his wife, he continues to look collected and polite.
“No, you can return to your duties”.
Eddie nods and says nothing more. He follows Buck like a shadow and stays at his door.
Eddie follows Buck almost everywhere, unless Buck’s around the king and queen and their guards. In moments like that, Eddie disappears only to appear next to Buck, as soon as he emerges from the huge rooms, where his parents are desperate to make a new version of Daniel out of him. There is always one guard behind the doors of Buck's quarters, and sometimes it's Eddie. Buck wants to ask if Eddie sleeps at all, and when was the last time he saw his son.
Eddie still pisses Buck off with how easily he fits into the castle life. How he talks to Athena, how Bobby pats him on the shoulder, because, of course, Eddie communicates with him all the necessary information about the prince and his affairs. Buck is also pissed off by the way Eddie jokes about his suggestion to spar.
“I don’t want to lose my head for dumping the crown prince in the dust,” Eddie says, and Buck wants to reply that no one here really cares about his welfare while he’s alive.
“Don't worry about it, the champion's wreath from the last tournament hangs in my chambers, not yours. Maybe you're not as good in deeds as in words, war hero?" Buck teases him and Eddie laughs. They stand in an open training area with sand and dummies.
"What are we measuring here, Your Highness?" asks Eddie, throwing the sword at Buck's feet.
They fight for a while. Buck can feel Eddie holding back, and growls in annoyance. It takes time to get Eddie to show what he is capable of, but after Buck pushes that lever, he has no time to think about anything other than the sword whizzing in the air. Eddie fights the way he does everything — calmly, calculating every blow, carefully following Buck's every move. He's a great opponent for impulsive Buck, who, despite all his skills, never learned to think three moves ahead. This brings him down in sparring with Eddie. Too wide a sweep, an extra step to the side, Eddie's sword picks up his weapon, Buck senses the trip, and ends up on the ground with a blade at his throat.
Sweat drips from Eddie's face when he hovers over him. Eddie pants heavily and smiles again.
"Can I keep my job, Your Highness?" he asks.
“Only if we do it again,” Buck replies, swallowing carefully. The phantom sensation of steel at his throat persists even when Eddie rises from his knees and holds out his hand. “You’re really good. I guess you can have my back. "
“You know how to fight as well, Your Highness. If it comes to it I'd be honored for you to have mine”.
Eddie cares about Buck and it takes a while for Buck to figure it out. He gets used to Eddie's presence by his side, to his polite questions, to the way he listens to everything Buck has to say, never letting go of a word, even if Buck says something completely useless to him that he read in the book from the royal library. Eddie never doubts Buck, never looks away, never treats him with anything other than loyalty and faith even when Buck doesn’t feel worthy of them.
Buck knows Eddie gets paid to do it, but no one pays him to say in a low voice, "Do you want to get out of here?" seeing the panic on Buck's face during a reception, no one pays him so that, in response to Buck's nod, he comes up with excuses about the prince's safety and gets him out of throne room. Nobody pays him to take a breath and ask to tell more about the mating circles of worms. Nobody pays him to prepare the horses even before Buck asks him to do so after another harsh conversation with his parents. Nobody pays him to talk about his kid to take Buck’s mind off of yet another proof how disappointed his parents are with him.
Nobody pays Eddie to care so deeply about Buck's wellbeing but he still does.
Buck wakes up in the middle of the night from the sounds of footsteps and conversations outside the chambers. He puts his pants and boots on, grabs his sword and looks out into the hallway. There are two guards in full armor at his doors.
“What's going on here?” he demands an answer.
Eddie appears in the hallway before he gets it. He breathes heavily and holds the sword in his hands. The blade gleams with carelessly wiped blood.
“Go back to the chambers, Your Highness,” Eddie says as soon as he sees him. “And lock the doors”.
“What's happening?” Buck repeats, and he stares at Eddie, making it clear that he’s using every drop of his power to get the answers.
“People have sneaked into the castle, and we're pretty sure they're conspirators who want you dead,” Eddie surrenders. “Now, please go back to your chambers, Your Highness, and stay there until I get back”.
Buck doesn't like this idea. He’s not used to sitting in chambers while people die for him, while Eddie risks not returning to his son, because someone wanted to end Buck's life. Maybe he doesn’t want to devote himself to war, but he’s still an excellent swordsman. He’ll be much more useful in the corridors than locked in the chambers.
“Or I'll go with you,” Buck says. “I can fight, you know that”.
Eddie sighs heavily, as if he expected this phrase.
“And I can’t fight and worry about Your Highness at the same time. I need you to be in the safest place. Trust me. Nobody dies today”.
Buck looks at Eddie's sword expressively. Eddie lowers his eyes and shrugs his shoulders.
“Nobody who matters”.
Buck sees the lights in the windows, hears the stomping on the floor above. Eddie looks up, then returns his gaze to Buck, and there is less of the warmth and softness in his eyes that Buck’s used to see. Buck remembers his first thought he had about Eddie that he can afford to be gentle and soft, because there is violence in him, because he went through two wars and was in captivity, because he’s looking at Buck with dark, cold eyes, and there is nothing there. Buck thinks about the way Athena told him that every person has a moment of doubt, of hesitation before killing, a moment of “please give me a reason not to do this” pleading. He's not sure if Eddie has it now.
“Chambers,” Eddie repeats.
Buck feels like he hears Eddie's words again —“I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe” — and wonders how much blood Eddie’s willing to shed to stay true to his promise. Right now, he looks like he’s ready to swim in it. Buck’s never had anyone being that protective of him. It's intoxicating.
“Don’t die. I just got used to you,” says Buck.
Eddie’s “As you wish, Your Highness” dies in the sound of closing doors.
Eddie returns a few hours later. He leans against the door, looking at Buck, who freezes in the middle of the chambers he has been pacing nervously all this time. Eddie has blood on his face, and Buck is pretty sure some of the blood on his clothes belongs to him. He smiles slightly, and there's a familiar softness in his eyes.
“Seems like you’re not getting a new head of the guards, Your Highness. You’re stuck with me,” he says, and the warmth lumps in Buck's throat.
Buck does this because he wants to thank Eddie, but he has no idea what words can convey the peace that he feels every time he sees his knight or feels his presence.
"What are we doing here?" Eddie asks. Buck knows he's mentally checking his schedule for today, and trying to figure out who they might be meeting.
“Just wait a bit,” Buck says. "You always tell me to be patient."
The carriage appears in twenty minutes. The door swings open, a woman appears in a simple but elegant dress, and then a ten years old boy. Eddie's face changes. If Buck previously thought he saw tenderness in Eddie's eyes, now he saw what his eyes filled with love look like.
"Dad!"
The boy — Christopher — doesn't even start running, because Eddie's already next to him, scoops him in his arms and swings him around, hugging him. They laugh, and Buck's gut tightens from the fact that he never had it. Is this what parents’ love looks like? Is it how Daniel remembered their parents? How did Eddie find a place in his heart to care for Buck when it’s filled with so much love for his son?
"What are you doing here?" Eddie asks, lowering himself to Christopher's eye level. He looks at him like this boy makes every next breath worthwhile. Buck's cheeks hurt from smiling.
“The prince invited us to the castle,” Christopher says proudly, and Eddie turns to look at Buck. His eyes are sparkling and he looks like he would hug Buck now if he didn't have his kid in his arms. Buck doesn't know what to do with himself under this gaze.
"Then you need to say thank you, right?" Eddie says. He strokes Christopher's hair and rises from the ground.
"Thank you, Your Highness!"
Christopher is loud, smiling, happy, and Buck wants to do everything in his power to keep that smile on his face. Buck loves children. He thinks of his future children with longing and sadness, because he’s afraid that his forced marriage with someone he barely knows will deprive them of their family love, as he was deprived of it. He promises himself that he will love his children as much as Eddie loves his son, no matter what happens, no matter what he thinks about the future queen. Before Daniel died, Buck dreamed of the great love. Even if his first love had left ashes in the place of his heart, he wanted to feel it again. Meaningless sex he was famous for before Abby now felt insipid and empty, leaving Buck feeling even more worthless. Now he only hopes for as much as friendship with the future queen.
“Your dad is doing a great job protecting me. I decided to call someone who can protect him,” Buck smiles.
“I'm very strong,” Christopher nods and Eddie chuckles softly. Buck wants to hear that sound every day.
“You bet, champion,” Eddie says.
"Do you want to see the castle?" Buck asks because he knows Eddie would never dare ask him to arrange a tour for his son.
“Do you have a library? I'm just learning to read, but we have so few books”.
“Of course we have a library,” Buck hears himself laughing. He’s afraid to look up at Eddie, because he knows that there is more gratitude, tenderness and gentleness in Eddie’s eyes than he knows what to do with. He’s not ready for this. No one taught him he deserves to be looked at like that.
“I can get Christopher to live in the castle,” Buck says in the evening when Eddie comes in to check on the guard at his door.
“I can’t ask you this, Your Highness,” Eddie says carefully, and Buck wants to say that he can ask him anything if he just keeps looking at him like that.
“Then it's settled. I know a wonderful nanny who would be happy to take care of your son while you live in the castle.”
Eddie hugs him for the first time after these words. The hug is short, firm, and Buck doesn't have time to snuggle up to Eddie, because he's already taking a step back, taken aback by his emotions.
“I’m sorry, Your Highness,” he says. "I don’t know how to thank you. For today and for your offer”.
“Stop refusing to spar with me and we'll call it even,” Buck jokes, and Eddie's cheerful laugh is in his ears until he falls asleep.
Buck falls in love like never before — right away, painfully, crashing on this love like a bird on a cliff. He falls in love with every act of quiet care, every understanding look, every silent "I am here, I am on your side". He falls in love with all his stupid heart, with all his words that someone finally hears.
When Buck kisses Eddie for the first time, they are in his chambers. The wine is too strong and Eddie’s too beautiful for him not to give in. Eddie freezes, opens his lips, and then squeezes Buck’s shoulders and pushes him away.
“No,” he says. “This won’t happen”.
“Why?” Buck waits for the blood to come out of his mouth, because together with the letters, he spits out the pieces of his broken heart.
“Because you are the crown prince,” Eddie's voice’s gentle, similar to the one he uses with his son, explaining simple things to him. He looks at Buck with the same attentive and calm look, as if he sees him all, and doesn’t want to look away. “You’ll get married, you’ll have children, you’ll fulfill your duty to the country. I don’t want to be just a faceless favorite you hide in your chambers. I’ll be anything you need: a friend, a faithful servant, a knight, an ally. Whoever you want, but not a lover”.
It doesn't even sound like a rejection. Eddie puts his loyalty and his life at Buck's feet, but keeps his heart for himself, and Buck hates himself for feeling like it’s not enough. He was alone within these walls for so long, and now, when he has a man whose oaths of loyalty he believes, and this is not enough for him. Buck dreamed of a person who would be on his side, who would trust him in the first place, who would not expect him to make a mistake. Eddie stands in front of him and offers it, offers faith, offers friendship, offers loyalty. And Buck, like a spoiled child, reaches to the box with the lock, where his heart lies.
“You can make me. You’re the crown prince”.
And, God, how disgusting this thought is to Buck. He's the crown prince. He can make Eddie do whatever he wants. Buck can order him. He can get Eddie in his bed right now with just a few words. Buck’s scared to have such power in his hands, and even more scared by the calmness Eddie gives it to him with.
Buck fucks the mistress of whisperers, thinking with disgust and pleasure that Eddie’s still behind the heavy doors of the chambers. Taylor slips out of his bed even before he asks her to, because she probably can taste the desperation in every thrust. Buck wants Eddie to open the doors and ask what the hell he was doing. He revels in shame that Eddie heard all this and must’ve watched Taylor leave with petticoats in hand.
Ana is beautiful. She has delicate features, a dazzling smile, and she sinks into Christopher's eyes level, as if she’s been doing this all her life. Christopher laughs at something she says, throwing his head back, and Ana doesn't care that the hem of her skirts is covered with dust from the rustling on the ground. Ana spends more and more time with Christopher, while Eddie is busy with work and, obviously, when he is free, she is with them too.
Buck hates her.
Especially when she gives Eddie her handkerchief during the knight tournament. Buck wants to say that this is his knight, but Eddie made it clear to him he has the right to anything but his heart. Eddie didn't want to participate in this tournament at all, Buck thinks angrily. Buck dared him to, joking too much about what people would think if the knight who’s in charge of the prince's safety refuses the tournament. He has no one to blame but himself.
Eddie wins and Buck cries for hours after finding a sword on his bed. Eddie should’ve given it to Ana. This is what knight tournament winners do. They give their swords to the ladies, who gave them their favor. But Eddie says that his sword is too damaged, and then Buck finds it completely intact on his bed. Eddie feels the same way about him, and if it wasn't for that damn crown, Buck would've been in his arms now, not Ana.
If this is the great love he dreamed of, Buck doesn't want it anymore.
When a war starts, no one is ready for it. The same border where Daniel perished flares up with conflicts again, and Buck goes there because he no longer has excuses and reasons to stay away from pain and death. Eddie goes with him and Buck hates his crown when he watches him hugging Christopher goodbye. There was enough war, dirt, and blood in Eddie’s life. Eddie has given enough to the kingdom, and Buck asks him to stay. Eddie looks at him with the same softness and says that Buck’s not going anywhere alone, especially if it's half as bad as Eddie remembers.
Everything is much worse there and Eddie's squad goes missing.
They were supposed to go on a short reconnaissance, but a day passes, and they don’t return. The wait slowly drives Buck crazy. Soldiers ask him questions, wait for orders and decisions, and all he can think about is how he now has to return to the castle and tell Christopher that his father is dead. The memories of Daniel's death are all too fresh, and Buck can’t let this place take another person in his life.
Buck prays to all the gods he knows for Eddie to return. He promises to be a righteous king, promises to marry, promises to give Eddie and Ana land and never be angry that Eddie didn't want to be with him. Promises fall from his lips like clods of ground into a fresh grave. The weather is getting worse, and on the second day Buck wants to declare a full-fledged war on the neighbors, who can’t calm down, get enough of the taken away lives and Buck’s grief.
The clatter of hooves breaks the evening silence on the third day.
Eddie has blood and dirt on his face and armor. There is so much blood that Buck doesn't know who it belongs to. Eddie sees him and the tension leaves his shoulders, as if the last of his strength is leaving him. They meet halfway. Eddie falls to his knees in front of Buck and rests his forehead on his stomach. Buck wants to cry and laugh. His hands find the back of Eddie's head and he strokes his short hair and dirty skin. Eddie sighs and relaxes in his arms.
“You scared me,” Buck almost whispers. “Why do you have to constantly put yourself in danger for me?”
“I'd bleed on every battlefield if it meant you didn't have to,” Eddie sounds like he's holding himself awake just to speak the words like they're not shaking Buck's entire world and tearing his heart apart.
“Your Highness!” someone calls, and Buck wants to say that they can go to hell. He's not letting Eddie out of his hands when he thought he had lost him. Everyone can go to hell. Maybe he can't have Eddie as he wants him, but he can feel his breath and know that he's alive in his arms. Today that’s enough. “You will want to see it”.
“Whatever it is, not now!” Buck snaps back.
“Buck?”
The voice is so familiar it makes Buck dizzy. Apparently, he lost his mind while he thought Eddie was dead after all, because it was Daniel's voice.
Buck helps Eddie to his feet and turns towards the sound. Daniel stands in the middle of the camp, dressed in rags, face covered in a horrible beard, hair’s a mess, but he’s healthy and alive.
Alive.
“Daniel? What? How? We thought you were dead!”
“I thought I was dead, too,” Daniel grins, and Buck can’t breathe. “I was pulled from the battlefield by a forest savage. She came there to rob the corpses, but found me on the verge of death. She helped me heal, and I was going to return home, but then a new conflict began. You can imagine my joy when I ran into your squad”.
Buck looks at Daniel as if an ancient god appeared before him and spoke.
“I hope you didn't get used to the crown too much, brother,” Daniel says, and Buck finally realizes what that means. He is no longer the crown prince. He is just a prince again. He again has no duty to the country, and all marriage letters will be sent to Daniel again.
Buck looks at Eddie standing next to him, who gives him a tired smile, biting his lip.
“I'm not the crown prince anymore,” Buck whispers.
“No, you are not,” Eddie whispers back.
“Whoever you want,” Buck echoes Eddie’s words with his heart in his throat.
“A lover”.
When Daniel comes back, everything is perfect.