Chapter Text
Chapter 22
adiosToreador [AT] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG].
AT: hEY vR1SKA,
AT: aRE YOU THERE,
AT: 1 HAVEN'T SEEN YOU 1N L1KE A DAY, wHAT'S UP,
AG: Oh, Tavros!!!!!!!! Yeah I'm here.
AG: Sorry, the past twenty-four hours have 8een reeeeeeeeally complic8ed.
AG: And more than a little exhausting, quite frankly.
AT: yEAH, 1 SHOULD TH1NK SO,
AT: wHAT W1TH YOUR WHOLE TH1NG W1TH sOLLUX,
AT: sER1OUSLY, fOUR HOURS,
AG: Yeah, I know!!!!!!!! God, it was awesome.
AG: It was easily TWICE as gr8 as I thought it would 8e.
AG: Oh, the red miles of destruction we carved across LO8AF together........
AG: I mean, the guy's still a twerp, don't get me wrong, 8ut he's got it where it counts.
AT: yEAH, wELL,
AT: 1'M GLAD YOU GUYS F1NALLY MADE 1T HAPPEN,
AG: Not as glad as I am, 8elieve me.
AG: I've 8een needing to 8low off some steam for a while, and this little romp is exactly what the doctor ordered.
AG: I h8 to talk your ear off a8out all of my exploits, 8ut good lord, the things that guy can do with his psionics!!!!!!!!
AG: And, of course, the things I can do to him with mine.
AG: And with his. >::::)
AG: I just kneeeeeeeew he'd 8e a gr8 kismesis once he got his shit together and decided to play 8all.
AT: r1GHT, wELL,
AT: 1'M SURE THAT WAS ALL VERY ENJOYABLE,
AT: bUT 1T'S BEEN A DAY S1NCE THEN, aND YOU HAVEN'T CONTACTED ME UNT1L R1GHT NOW,
AT: jUST WHAT HAPPENED 1N THE 1NTER1M,
AT: wERE YOU 1NJURED OR SOMETH1NG,
AG: Nononononononono, nothing like that!!!!!!!!
AG: Well, just a few 8roken 8ones, no 8ig deal.
AG: Nothing a little convalescent care from my m8sprit couldn't handle.
AG: If you know what I mean. :::;)
AT: yEAH, 1 TH1NK 1 CAN PUZZLE OUT YOUR MEAN1NG,
AT: jUST BARELY,
AG: Hahahaha.
AT: bUT ANYWAY, wHY D1DN'T YOU CONTACT ME,
AT: 1 WAS K1ND OF WORR1ED,
AG: Shit, yeah, sorry, I should've trolled you a8out it.
AG: 8ut 8etween the whole thing with Sollux and the whole other thing with Kanaya, it was just........
AG: Honestly, the whole day was just kind of a 8lur.
AG: I was just 8lissed out of my goddamn mind the entire time.
AG: So sorry.
AT: wELL,
AT: 1T'S F1NE, 1 GUESS,
AT: yOU'RE PERFECTLY W1TH1N YOUR R1GHTS BE1NG HAPPY,
AT: gETT1NG A K1SMES1S 1S K1ND OF A B1G DEAL, aFTER ALL,
AT: bUT ST1LL, yOU SHOULD'VE CONTACTED ME,
AT: tO ASSURE ME THAT SPAZ D1DN'T K1LL YOU, 1F NOTH1NG ELSE,
AG: Hahahahahahahaha, yeah, you're right.
AG: 8ut I mean, I would've if I was thinking str8, 8ut I was reeeeeeeeally out of it at the time.
AG: Like, after I left Kanaya's hive, I set off for... LODAG, I think?
AG: Not really sure what my thought process was there.
AG: May8e I wanted to 8ug Feferi a8out something???????? Or may8e I was going 8ack to LO8AF for some reason, I don't know.
AG: Anyway, I had another run-in with Sollux.
AT: oH, sER1OUSLY,
AG: Yeah, this time on LOQAM.
AG: And Aradia was with him.
AT: oH GOD,
AG: Yeah, that escal8ed quickly.
AG: I mean, it really got out of hand fast!
AG: Like, I can't manipul8 Aradia even when she's 8y herself.
AG: 8ut when those two are together, they do some kind of freaky psychic mind meld thing, and then I can't touch either of them!!!!!!!!
AG: And then they 8oth proceeded to just completely dou8le team me with their com8ined psionics, which are incidentally REALLY FUCKING POWERFUL.
AT: wHOA, wA1T A M1NUTE, hOLD ON,
AT: aRE YOU TELL1NG ME THAT sOLLUX AND aRAD1A BOTH TEAMED UP AND BEAT THE SH1T OUT OF YOU W1TH THE1R PSYCH1C POWERS,
AG: Kind of, yeah.
AG: 8ut really, it's not that 8ig a deal.
AT: nOT THAT B1G A DEAL,
AT: nO, 1 TH1NK YOU'RE WRONG, 1T K1ND OF 1S A B1G DEAL,
AG: What?
AT: lOOK, 1F 1T WERE JUST sOLLUX, tHAT WOULD BE ONE TH1NG,
AT: hE'S YOUR K1SMES1S, tHAT MUCH 1S TO BE EXPECTED,
AT: bUT 1F aRAD1A'S JO1N1NG 1N, tHAT'S,
AT: wELL, 1T'S E1THER BLACK 1NF1DEL1TY, oR SHE'S JUST STRA1GHT UP TRY1NG TO MURDER YOU,
AT: aND BOTH OF THOSE SEEM TO BE K1ND OF AN ENORMOUS FUCK1NG DEAL TO ME,
AG: Wow, Tavros, calm down!!!!!!!!
AG: I mean, I get why you might 8e concerned, 8ut seriously, you don't have to get all worked up just for my s8ke.
AG: I'm totally okay with the way the whole incident transpired.
AG: Honestly, I kind of enjoyed it!
AT: wHAT,
AG: I'm just saying!!!!!!!!
AT: vR1SKA, yOU ARE,
AT: rEALLY STRANGE SOMET1MES,
AG: Whatever, don't judge.
AG: I know fully well all the weird shit you and Gamzee do together.
AT: hAHA, yEAH, 1 GUESS YOU DO,
AT: bUT ST1LL,
AT: yOU DON'T TH1NK aRAD1A ASSAULT1NG YOU 1S K1ND OF AN 1SSUE,
AT: 1 THOUGHT SHE FORGAVE YOU,
AG: Yeah, well, I guess she just doesn't like me.
AG: Fair enough, I guess. She never really liked me 8ack 8efore I killed her, and I guess there's no reason she'd start liking me now.
AG: Or may8e she didn't forgive me at all! Wouldn't surprise me.
AG: Some people just hold grudges, I guess. Not that I would really know what that's like.
AT: uH,
AT: wHAT,
AG: What?
AT: vR1SKA,
AT: d1D 1 SER1OUSLY JUST SEE YOU SAY,
AT: tHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT 1T'S L1KE TO HOLD A GRUDGE,
AG: I don't!!!!!!!!
AT: aRE YOU FUCK1NG K1DD1NG ME,
AG: I'm serious!!!!!!!!
AG: Grudges are for people who can't immedi8ely get even.
AG: I've never held one for longer than it took to orchestr8 my vengeance upon the offending party.
AG: 8ut not every8ody can 8e as forgiving as me, I guess.
AT: tHAT'S,
AT: a REALLY FUCKED UP DEF1N1T1ON OF FORG1V1NG,
AG: Whatever! Anyway.
AG: So two trolls out of eleven don't like me. Them's the 8r8ks.
AT: wELL, 1'M GLAD YOU'RE SO COOL ABOUT 1T,
AT: bUT DO YOU TH1NK TH1S WHOLE TH1NG BETWEEN YOU TWO M1GHT BECOME A PROBLEM,
AG: I don't know, may8e!
AG: 8ut even if it does, what can we really do a8out it?
AT: wELL,
AT: 1F 1T COMES TO THAT,
AT: yOU GUYS M1GHT NEED AN AUSP1ST1CE,
AG: Whoa, what????????
AG: You seriously think Megido might 8e ashen for me????????
AT: 1'M JUST SAY1NG, 1T'S A POSS1B1L1TY,
AT: oNE YOU SHOULD PROBABLY ACCOUNT FOR,
AG: Well, shit, I'm not even sure where to start.
AG: Look, may8e we just shouldn't even worry a8out this right now.
AG: Even if she does h8 me like that, I'm sure Sollux isn't a8out to let his m8sprit murder me.
AG: He still owes me for not letting him 8leed to death from his 8lasted out eye sockets, for one.
AT: hAHA, yEAH, 1 HEARD ABOUT THAT,
AG: It was totally his fault, just for the record!!!!!!!!
AG: I thought I might 8e pushing his eye 8eams a little too hard, and I told him as much, 8ut he just kept egging me on!
AG: And he never said the safeword, either.
AT: sO 1 HEARD,
AG: 8ut whatever, he was 8lind and useless for like eight minutes, and then I threw him onto a sla8 of dark green rock and m8de him a god.
AG: The second one I've 8een directly responsi8le for, not counting myself, if you're keeping track of these things.
AT: nOT REALLY, nO,
AG: And let me tell you, those Doom powers of his are a 8itch and half!
AG: I figured since we were 8oth God Tier, it wouldn't 8e too unfair to 8ring our powers into the mix.
AG: 8ut every time I ganked all of his luck, he just took the deficit and dumped it right 8ack in my face!!!!!!!!
AG: And that's pro8a8ly just a small fraction of the repertoire of doomy things he's dou8tlessly got up his sleeves.
AG: 8ut anyway, don't worry a8out me and Aradia.
AG: I'm not a8out to try to kill her, and I'm pretty damn sure she's not a8out to try to kill me.
AG: And if things really do come to a head, I'm sure we can find SOME8ODY to medi8 8etween us, though I can't imagine who right off the top of my head.
AG: Not Kanaya, certainly.
AG: Nepeta, may8e? I'm pretty satisfied with my last ashen liaison with her.
AG: Whatever, we'll 8urn that 8ridge when we get to it.
AT: wELL,
AT: 1F YOU REALLY DON'T TH1NK D1RECT 1NTERVENT1ON 1S NECESSARY,
AT: tHEN 1 GUESS WE CAN PUT THE 1SSUE TO REST FOR NOW,
AG: Yeah, seriously, enough a8out me already.
AG: What a8out you? How are you reacting to this whole thing?
AT: uH,
AT: wHAT WHOLE TH1NG,
AG: The whole thing with Aradia coming 8ack to life!!!!!!!!
AG: You guys used to 8e really good friends, didn't you?
AG: So you must 8e psyched that she's alive again!
AT: wELL, uH, hONESTLY,
AT: 1'M K1ND OF FREAK1NG OUT ABOUT 1T,
AG: Yeah, "freaking out" sounds a8out right!
AG: It's not every day that one of your friends gets 8rought 8ack from the dead after god knows how long!
AG: You pro8a8ly want to reconnect with her, right?
AT: uHH,
AG: W8, shit, I just realized.
AG: This whole thing with me and her is totally going to get 8etween you guys, isn't it????????
AG: Fuuuuuuuuck, I'd 8e such a shitty moirail to let my own personal vendettas mess with your own personal friendships!!!!!!!!
AG: May8e I should just look for an auspistice now, I don't want this to 8ecome a 8ig issue for you guys.
AT: vR1SKA, sTOP,
AT: yOU'RE NOT LETT1NG ME F1N1SH,
AG: Oh.
AG: Um, okay, go ahead.
AT: wHEN 1 SA1D 1 WAS FREAK1NG OUT,
AT: 1 D1DN'T MEAN 1N A GOOD WAY,
AG: Um.
AG: What did you mean?
AT: lOOK, 1T'S,
AT: 1T'S COMPL1CATED,
AG: What's complic8ed?
AT: tHE WHOLE TH1NG W1TH aRAD1A,
AT: 1 MEAN, yEAH, wE USED TO BE FR1ENDS,
AT: bACK BEFORE SHE D1ED,
AT: bUT A LOT HAS CHANGED S1NCE THEN,
AT: 1 MEAN, nOW 1'VE GOT AN AMAZ1NG MATESPR1T,
AT: aND A GREAT MO1RA1L,
AT: aND NOW,
AT: oKAY, wOW, tHERE'S NO REALLY GOOD WAY TO SAY TH1S,
AT: 1 MEAN, 1T'S GREAT THAT SHE'S AL1VE AND ALL,
AT: 1'M NOT TRY1NG TO SAY SHE SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD OR ANYTH1NG,
AG: Well, yeah, I sure hope not!!!!!!!!
AT: bUT 1T'S JUST,
AT: nOW THAT SHE'S BACK,
AT: 1'M HAV1NG ALL THESE FEEL1NGS,
AT: uNWELCOME FEEL1NGS,
AT: tHAT 1 WAS K1ND OF HOP1NG WERE GONE FOR GOOD,
AT: aND 1'M JUST AFRA1D,
AT: 1 DON'T KNOW, mAYBE 1'M JUST BE1NG R1D1CULOUS HERE,
AG: No, w8, hold on!!!!!!!!
AG: Just what are you talking a8out here????????
AG: What are all these feelings that Aradia's apparently 8ringing 8ack, and why are you getting so worked up over them?
AT: uGH, 1T'S JUST,
AG: Does this have something to do with me?
AG: This isn't triggering any traumatic flash8acks a8out the whole thing that happened 8ack then, is it????????
AT: nO NO NO, 1T'S NOTH1NG L1KE THAT,
AT: yOU DON'T HAVE ANYTH1NG TO DO W1TH 1T,
AG: Then what is it?
AT: 1T'S JUST,
AT: 1T'S NOTH1NG, 1T'S STUP1D,
AT: gOD, 1'M SUCH A FUCK1NG 1D1OT,
AT: jUST, fORGET 1 BROUGHT 1T UP,
AG: Are you sure?
AG: 8ecause it sounds like kind of a 8ig deal!
AT: yES, 1'M SURE,
AG: Is there some kind of pro8lem 8etween you and Aradia?
AG: 8ecause if there is, I need to know a8out it.
AG: Terezi and Eridan and I are planning this whole 8ig FLARPing night for you two, and if you don't want to roleplay with her, we're going to need to m8ke some changes.
AG: Replacing her won't 8e too hard. We could just 8ring in Nepeta, she'd pro8a8ly 8e down for it.
AG: Are you cool with teaming up with her? I helped her m8ke a new character, and it's actually pretty awesome.
AG: Failing that, I guess you could team up with Dualscar, 8ut there's kind of a huuuuuuuuge level difference there.
AG: Anyway, whatever you want to do, I need to know now so we can m8ke all the necessary changes to the campaign in a timely fashion.
AT: lOOK, 1 APPREC1ATE THE OFFER,
AT: bUT YOU WON'T HAVE TO MAKE ANY CHANGES,
AT: 1'LL PLAY W1TH aRAD1A,
AG: Really?
AT: yES, rEALLY,
AG: Well, if you insist.
AG: Though I should warn you that this campaign could possi8ly put some........ strain on your friendship.
AG: We're crafting the most dia8olical series of traps, puzzles, and monsters ever to 8e seen in the history of FLARP.
AG: 8ut perhaps the most fearsome adversary you will face will 8e........
AG: Each other!!!!!!!!
AT: wHAT,
AG: You'll see.
AG: I am whispering that and it is echoing and ominous.
AG: You'll seeeeeeee........
AG: You'll seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
AG: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........
AT: oKAY,
AT: 1 TH1NK THAT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH E'S FOR A L1FET1ME,
AT: pLEASE STOP,
AG: Hahahahahahahaha.
AG: 8ut yes, it is going to 8e devious. Soooooooo devious, you don't even know.
AT: 1'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR 1T, 1 GUESS,
AG: Yes you will! That is exactly what you will do.
AG: 8ut I mean........
AG: Okay, I still don't really get this thing that may or may not 8e going on with you and Aradia.
AG: Seriously, what's up? Talk to me here.
AT: lOOK, 1 ALREADY TOLD YOU, 1T'S NOT THAT B1G A DEAL,
AT: bUT TH1NK1NG ABOUT HER JUST MAKES 1T WORSE,
AT: sO COULD WE PLEASE JUST,
AT: nOT TALK ABOUT 1T,
AG: You don't want to talk a8out it.
AG: You realize that's 8asically the pale equivalent to "I have a headache," right????????
AG: You're totally pale8locking me here, and I have to say that I don't really like it!!!!!!!!
AT: vR1SKA, tH1S 1S START1NG TO MAKE ME UPSET,
AT: sO JUST DROP 1T,
AT: sER1OUSLY,
AG: Tavros, if there's some kind of pro8lem here, then I want to know just what the fuck is going on!!!!!!!!
AT: vR1SKA,
AT: yOU BROKE MY SP1NE,
AG: ::::O
AG: Well fuck, if you're gonna deploy the goddamn nuclear option on me, then fine, I'll drop it already!!!!!!!!
AG: Don't flip the fuck out over it, Jegus.
AT: sORRY, 1T'S JUST,
AT: uURRRGH,
AG: Soooooooo........
AG: Oh hey, I just remem8ered something I heard from Eridan!!!!!!!!
AG: He told me he was auspisticizing for you and Equius????????
AT: yEAH, tHAT'S R1GHT,
AT: 1T HAPPENED 1N THAT MEMO, aFTER YOU LEFT,
AG: Well, that's gr8!!!!!!!!
AG: Got yourself another quadrant filled, that's awesome!
AG: I mean, sure, it's just an auspistice, and it's not really necessary or anything........
AG: 8ut still, one step closer to troll serendipity! If you 8elieve in that kind of thing.
AT: yEAH, 1T'S,
AT: aLR1GHT, 1 GUESS,
AG: I always thought there was something going on 8etween you and Equius.
AG: I was kind of hoping it was the stirrings of a kismesissitude, honestly!
AG: 8ut I guess you weren't interested in him like that or something.
AT: nOT REALLY,
AT: 1 MEAN, hONESTLY, 1 DON'T EVEN KNOW H1M,
AT: hE JUST HAS A PROBLEM W1TH ME, fOR SOME REASON,
AG: He's got more pro8lems than that, trust me.
AG: 8ut yeah, I guess you guys don't really have any history to speak of.
AG: Still, though, it seemed like a decent opportunity.
AT: wELL,
AT: mAYBE 1T WAS,
AT: aND 1 M1GHT'VE ACTUALLY BEEN 1NTERESTED,
AT: bUT, 1 HAD OTHER REASONS FOR NOT PURSU1NG 1T,
AG: Those reasons 8eing........?
AT: wELL, aS MUCH AS 1 HATE THE GUY,
AT: 1 TH1NK gAMZEE HATES H1M EVEN MORE,
AT: sO 1 F1GURED, hE DESERVED 1T MORE THAN 1 D1D,
AG: Awwwwwwww, Tavros, that's so sweet!
AG: 8acking off the guy just so your m8sprit can have a shot at him!
AT: yEAH, wELL,
AT: 1T JUST SEEMED L1KE THE R1GHT TH1NG TO DO,
AG: Well, suit yourself, I guess.
AG: Actually, thinking a8out it now, you could still have a maroonion. All you're doing is just moving the same vertices around.
AT: uH,
AT: a "mAROON1ON,"
AT: wHAT'S THAT,
AG: Oh man, if I even started to explain it, it'd just degener8 into an endless tangent on how gr8 it is.
AG: So I'll keep it short.
AG: 8asically, a maroonion is the 8est thing ever, and that's pretty much all there is to say on the matter.
AT: uH,
AT: oKAY, 1 GUESS,
AG: You'll love it, trust me.
AG: 8ut anyway, that's gr8 for Gamzee and all, 8ut what a8out you?
AG: You've got to start thinking a8out your own 8lack quadrant here, Tavros!!!!!!!!
AG: I feel kind of 8ad for you, honestly, always putting your other quadrants 8efore yourself.
AG: First with me and Sollux, and now with Gamzee and Equius.
AT: 1'M NOT BLACK FOR sOLLUX,
AG: You're not?
AG: I thought you had a pro8lem with him or something.
AT: mY PROBLEM W1TH H1M WAS HE WAS PLAY1NG HARD TO GET W1TH YOU,
AT: tHAT'S ABOUT THE EXTENT OF 1T,
AG: Oh.
AG: Really? That's it?
AT: wELL,
AT: tHERE ARE SOME OTHER M1NOR 1SSUES,
AT: bUT NOTH1NG REALLY S1GN1F1CANT ENOUGH FOR EVEN AN AUSP1ST1CESH1P, 1 DON'T TH1NK,
AG: Huh.
AG: 8ut if you're not 8lack for either of them, that doesn't really leave you with many choices!!!!!!!!
AG: I mean, there's what, Karkat and Terezi?
AG: Do you h8 either of them?
AT: nO, nOT REALLY,
AG: Well shit.
AG: Other than that, there's only like three eligi8le 8achelors.
AG: And you're not 8lack for Kanaya or Feferi, riiiiiiiight????????
AT: oH NO, aBSOLUTELY NOT,
AT: 1 HAVE NO 1NTENT1ON OF TRY1NG TO PLUCK THAT PART1CULAR 1RON OUT OF THE F1RE, bEL1EVE ME,
AG: Okay, good.
AG: I mean, if you were, I could try to come up with something else, don't get me wrong!!!!!!!!
AG: 8ut you aren't, so that kind of puts us in a tight spot!
AG: All that's left after that is Aradia, and I'm just kind of assuming you're not gonna end up 8lack for her.
AT: uH,
AT: yEAH, 1 DON'T KNOW,
AG: Shit.
AG: Okay, let me m8ke you a deal.
AG: If it comes right down to it, and the only two people who don't have kismeses are you and Aradia........
AG: We can switch.
AT: uH,
AT: wHAT,
AG: I'll 8r8k up with Sollux and t8ke her, and you can have him.
AG: How does that sound?
AT: wHOA, hOLD ON,
AT: yOU'D BREAK UP W1TH sOLLUX JUST FOR ME,
AG: Of course I would!!!!!!!!
AG: We're moirails, after all! It's my jo8 to m8ke sure you fill up your other quadrants!
AG: It's kind of a 8ig deal, Tavros.
AT: yEAH, bUT,
AT: yOU'RE REALLY BLACK FOR H1M, aREN'T YOU,
AG: Well, yeah, 8ut I've got other options here!
AG: Maaaaaaaay8e Aradia won't 8e as fun of a kismesis as Sollux is, 8ut she's still got enough fight in her to m8ke it interesting.
AG: Trust me, she's still the same shithive 8road that 8eat the shit out of me 8ack on LOMAT.
AT: uGH,
AT: dON'T REM1ND ME OF THAT, pLEASE,
AG: Oh, right, sorry.
AT: bUT ST1LL,
AT: tH1S SEEMS REALLY EXTREME,
AG: Look, it's just if you don't find a kismesis 8efore then!
AG: May8e you can spark something with Terezi or Karkat 8efore it comes to that.
AG: Or may8e Gamzee'll find some8ody else, and you can go after Equius properly!
AG: Or fuck, I don't know, you could even start up some kind of rivalry with Aradia, however the fuck that would work.
AG: I'm just saying we should have a contingency of some sort here.
AT: wELL,
AT: 1F 1T ACTUALLY DOES COME TO THAT,
AT: tHEN 1 GUESS WE COULD TRY 1T,
AG: Gr8!
AT: wHAT,
AT: 1T'S NOT GREAT,
AT: 1F TH1S COMES TO PASS, 1T MEANS YOU'LL HAVE TO G1VE UP YOUR K1SMES1S,
AG: Hey, nothing's more important than m8king sure my moirail gets a proper h8m8!!!!!!!!
AG: And as much as I do h8 the guy, I can't say I would mind having a 8ig juicy chunk of Megido aaaaaaaall to myself. >::::)
AT: uH,
AG: Aaaaaaaanyway, I think you're more than a match for Sollux.
AG: He may have all his fancy glowing psionics and eye 8eams, 8ut none of that even comes close to all the windy shit you can do!
AT: hEH, yEAH, yOU'RE PROBABLY R1GHT,
AG: 8ut still, I'll do everything I can to m8ke sure it doesn't come to that.
AG: I already talked to Eridan a8out may8e finding you a kismesis, 8ut he's 8eing really cryptic a8out it for some reason.
AG: He assures me he's got a plan, 8ut I can't imagine what it could 8e.
AT: rEALLY,
AG: Yeah, I don't know! He just tells me to focus on my whole plan with Kanaya and Feferi.
AT: yEAH, aBOUT THAT,
AT: 1 TH1NK 1T M1GHT BE GETT1NG A L1TTLE,
AT: oUT OF HAND,
AG: 8luh, yeah, tell me a8out it.
AG: I saw that things nearly came to a head once again on that last memo.
AG: Thank god I had Eridan running damage control for me.
AT: r1GHT,
AT: bUT DO YOU TH1NK, mAYBE,
AT: yOU M1GHT BE GO1NG A L1TTLE TOO FAR HERE,
AG: What do you mean?
AT: 1 MEAN, w1TH YOU GO1NG BEH1ND kANAYA'S BACK ON ALL TH1S,
AG: Look, it's not like I WANT to deceive Kanaya, okay?
AG: 8ut a certain amount of su8terfuge is necessary in order to gener8 the proper amount of h8 8etween her and Feferi.
AG: If she knew this little spat 8etween the two of them was a deli8er8 ruse on my part, she'd discount it completely out of hand!
AG: So 8ehind her 8ack I must go.
AG: It sucks, 8ut it's what I have to do to find her a kismesis.
AT: lOOK, 1 GET WHAT YOU'RE TRY1NG TO SAY,
AT: bUT D1D YOU EVER STOP TO TH1NK THAT TH1S WHOLE SCHEME M1GHT HAVE,
AT: oTHER CONSEQUENCES,
AG: Like what?
AG: W8, you don't mean........
AG: You don't think she'd 8r8k up with me if she f8und out, do y8u????????
AT: nO, nO, nOTH1NG L1KE THAT,
AT: 1 WAS WORR1ED ABOUT THE OPPOS1TE, aCTUALLY,
AG: Um........
AG: Not following.
AT: oKAY, lOOK,
AT: tH1S WHOLE TH1NG 1S TO MAKE HER JEALOUS OF fEFER1, r1GHT,
AG: Yeah, exactly.
AG: The idea is that Kanaya's supposed to think that Feferi's constantly putting the moves on me.
AG: And then Feferi's supposed to think that Kanaya's just 8eing an overly-sensitive shrew a8out the whole thing.
AG: 8am! Instant mutual animosity.
AT: r1GHT,
AT: aND 1T'S A SOUND PLAN, dON'T GET ME WRONG,
AT: bUT THE WHOLE TH1NG 1S H1NGED ON THE 1DEA THAT kANAYA W1LL TH1NK fEFER1 1S TRY1NG TO STEAL YOU AWAY FROM HER,
AG: Yeah, 8ut she's not reeeeeeeeally gonna steal me away!!!!!!!!
AT: bUT kANAYA DOESN'T KNOW THAT,
AG: Of course she does!!!!!!!!
AG: Right????????
AG: W8, you don't think she actually thinks I'm a8out to 8r8k up with her, do you????????
AT: 1 DON'T KNOW,
AT: bUT SHE DOES SEEM A L1TTLE D1STRESSED LATELY,
AG: 8ut I would n8ver do that!!!!!!!!
AG: I would NEVER 8r8k up with Kan8ya in eight 8illi8n years!!!!!!!!
AG: She's the most am8zing person I've ever m8t, and if she ever l8ft me, I'd........
AG: I don't even know wh8t I'd do!!!!!!!!
AG: She kn8ws I'd never do that, r8ght? She H8S to know that!!!!!!!!
AT: sHE M1GHT NOT,
AG: Fuck.
AG: F8CK.
AG: That's not how it's supposed to go!
AG: She's just supposed to 8e pissed off at Feferi and that's it!
AG: If she's actually freaking out a8out the possi8ility that I might r8n off with h8r........
AG: 8ased SOLELY on this pl8n m8de up 8y ME, mind you!!!!!!!!
AG: Just the thought that she might 8e s8ffering 8ecause of this whole stupid half-8aked sch8me of mine........
AG: F8ck.
AG: I'm the worst m8sprit ever, aren't I?
AT: yOU'RE NOT THAT BAD,
AG: Yes, I am that 8ad!!!!!!!!
AG: Like, it isn't even just this whole thing with Feferi, either!
AG: There's also........ y'know, us.
AG: God, Kanaya must think I'm the flooziest harlot to ever stum8le half-dressed out of Trolloptown.
AG: Especially after what happened just recently.
AT: nO, lOOK,
AT: tHAT'S D1FFERENT,
AG: How is that any different?
AT: bECAUSE WE'RE MO1RA1LS,
AT: 1 MEAN, yEAH, wE L1KE EACH OTHER,
AT: bUT THAT AFFECT1ON 1S A KNOWN QUANT1TY,
AT: aND 1T'S NOT THE SAME TH1NG YOU AND kANAYA HAVE,
AT: aND NOTH1NG WE DO 1S GO1NG TO CHANGE 1T,
AG: 8ut are you sure a8out that????????
AG: Can we actually get away with stuff like this?
AG: I mean, I'm glad that you're cool with it, and that apparently Kanaya is too, 8ut........
AG: I don't know, it just feels weird.
AG: Like we're 8r8king the rules or something.
AT: wHAT RULES,
AG: The rules of society!
AG: Moirails aren't supposed to do stuff like this.
AT: sOC1ETY,
AT: vR1SKA, sOC1ETY R1GHT NOW CAN BE COUNTED ON THREE HANDS,
AG: Haha, yeah, I guess.
AG: It kind of seems like most of us are okay with the whole idea, too.
AG: 8ut still, it just doesn't feel right to me.
AT: oKAY, lOOK,
AT: vR1SKA, 1'M JUST GO1NG TO TELL YOU TH1S STRA1GHT UP,
AT: 1'M NOT FLUSHED FOR YOU,
AT: l1KE, nOT 1N THE LEAST B1T,
AG: Um, okay.
AT: 1 MEAN, 1 L1KE YOU,
AT: a LOT, aCTUALLY,
AT: bUT 1 DON'T TH1NK YOU'RE PERFECT 1N ANY SENSE OF THE WORD,
AT: yOU AREN'T MY EVERTH1NG,
AT: mY OTHER HALF, mAYBE, bUT THAT MAKES YOU MY EQUAL AT BEST,
AT: fRANKLY, yOU ARE, aND YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, a HOT PALE MESS,
AG: Um........
AG: is that supposed to 8e a compliment or a 8urn?
AT: lOOK, aLL 1'M SAY1NG 1S,
AT: 1F YOU'RE HONESTLY AFRA1D WE'RE GO1NG TO SL1P 1NTO THE FLUSHED QUADRANT,
AT: sTOP FLATTER1NG YOURSELF,
AG: Wow, Tavros, you're soooooooo romantic.
AG: I'm getting the pale vapors all over again.
AT: yEAH, eXACTLY,
AT: wE'RE AS PALE AS 1T POSS1BLY GETS FOR EACH OTHER,
AT: bUT AT THE SAME T1ME,
AT: 1'M GLAD WE F1NALLY WENT THROUGH W1TH,
AT: tH1S WHOLE TH1NG,
AG: You are?
AT: yEAH,
AT: hONESTLY, 1 ALWAYS WANTED TO DO 1T,
AT: mAYBE AS MUCH AS YOU D1D,
AG: Seriously????????
AT: wELL, eVER S1NCE OUR F1RST, uH,
AT: eNCOUNTER, oN lomat,
AT: tHERE'S BEEN TH1S VO1CE 1NS1DE MY HEAD,
AT: sCREAM1NG AT ME TO K1SS YOU,
AT: aND WHEN 1 F1NALLY D1D, 1T WAS, uH,
AT: pLEASANTLY SURPR1SED, tO SAY THE LEAST,
AG: A voice in your head????????
AG: I don't remem8er hearing anything a8out this during our feelings jams.
AT: wELL, 1T'S,
AT: k1ND OF EMBARRASS1NG, hONESTLY,
AG: Fine, whatever.
AG: Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it, I guess.
AG: I did too, of course, don't get me wrong!
AG: 8ut still, aren't you afr8d it might m8ke things weird 8etween us?
AT: 1T W1LL ONLY MAKE TH1NGS WE1RD 1F WE LET 1T,
AT: aND 1T W1LL ONLY BE A PROBLEM FOR ANYONE 1F 1T MEANS WE'LL BECOME ANYTH1NG OTHER THAN MO1RA1LS,
AG: Hmmmmmmmm........
AG: I guess that's reasona8le enough.
AG: 8ut do you really think Kanaya's okay with it?
AG: Hell, do you think Gamzee's okay with it?
AG: Sh8t, did we even t8lk to him a8out it????????
AT: yEAH, 1T'S F1NE, 1 TALKED TO H1M ABOUT 1T,
AT: bEFORE 1T HAPPENED,
AT: hE'S F1NE W1TH 1T, tRUST ME,
AT: 1 THOUGHT 1 ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT,
AG: What? I don't remem8er that.
AT: yEAH, hE'S TOTALLY COOL,
AT: hELL, hE AND eR1DAN ENDED UP DO1NG THE SAME TH1NG A WH1LE AGO,
AG: Whoa, wh8t????????
AT: eR,
AT: sH1T,
AT: dON'T TELL E1THER OF THEM 1 TOLD YOU THAT,
AG: Hahahahahahahaha, okay, my lips are sealed.
AG: Alright, fine, so Gamzee's o8viously cool with it.
AG: 8ut what a8out Kanaya?
AT: wELL,
AT: 1 WANT TO SAY SHE'S OKAY W1TH 1T,
AT: bUT 1F YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW, yOU SHOULD JUST TALK TO HER YOURSELF,
AG: Yeah, that's pro8a8ly a good idea.
AT: aND, wH1LE YOU'RE AT 1T,
AT: mAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER ABOUT fEFER1, tOO,
AG: Uh........ what a8out?
AT: wELL,
AT: tHE WHOLE TH1NG, 1DEALLY,
AG: Whoa, no, I can't do that.
AG: I mean, I want to, don't get me wrong, 8ut I can't.
AG: If I tell her just what I've 8een up to, all of my work will 8e undone.
AT: uGH, sER1OUSLY,
AG: I'm sorry, 8ut I'm putting my foot down here!!!!!!!!
AG: Look, I'm willing to compromise.
AG: What if I just tell her I'll stop talking to Feferi?
AG: Just stop hanging out with her entirely, or at least significantly decrease the amount of time I spend communic8ing with her?
AG: Just as a show of good faith.
AT: tHAT'S,
AT: aCTUALLY NOT A BAD 1DEA,
AG: I know, right?
AG: Oh, and then once I do that, it'll pro8a8ly m8ke Feferi think that Kanaya m8de me do it, which will m8ke her h8 Kanaya even more!!!!!!!!
AG: Man, this is such a gr8 idea, why didn't I think of this earlier.
AT: uH,
AT: r1GHT,
AT: bUT ARE YOU SER1OUSLY W1LL1NG TO JUST CUT fEFER1 OFF L1KE THAT,
AG: Look, if that's what it t8kes, then that's what I'm doing.
AG: I mean, Feferi is a good friend, and I like her, 8ut if Kanaya is seriously 8othered 8y this whole thing 8etween us, then I'll put an end to it.
AG: Feferi's gr8 and all, 8ut........ she's not Kanaya.
AG: And if I have to choose 8etween Kanaya and any8ody, I'm sticking with the former.
AT: yEAH,
AT: tHAT'S ALL A GOOD PO1NT,
AT: yOU REALLY ARE A GREAT MATESPR1T, vR1SKA,
AG: Pshhhhhhhh, whatever, I'm okay at 8est!
AG: Not anywhere near as gr8 as you are, at any r8.
AG: You and Gamzee never have to worry a8out shit like this.
AT: hMM,
AT: nO, nOT EXACTLY,
AT: bUT WE'RE NOT PERFECT, e1THER,
AG: Well, sure, 8ut who's perfect anyway?
AG: No8ody, that's who.
AG: Not even Kanaya, though she's a8out as close as it gets.
AG: Haha, wow, I sound so lame right now, don't I.
AT: yOU SOUND F1NE,
AT: lOVE JUST MAKES YOU STUP1D, tHAT'S ALL,
AG: Hahahahahahaha, yeah, you're right.
AG: Anyway, if this whole issue is resolved, I'm pro8a8ly gonna go talk to Kanaya.
AT: yEAH, tHAT'S A GOOD 1DEA,
AT: 1N FACT, 1'LL PROBABLY GO TALK TO gAMZEE,
AG: Yeah, cool.
AG: Well........ thanks for hearing me out, I guess.
AG: You're pro8a8ly sick of 8eing "the reasona8le one" 8y now, aren't you?
AT: aM 1 THE REASONABLE ONE,
AG: It sure seems like it to me!!!!!!!!
AT: wELL, 1F YOU 1NS1ST,
AT: tHOUGH 1'D SAY 1'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF BE1NG UNREASONABLE MYSELF,
AG: Riiiiiiiight.
AG: Well, if the ta8les ever turn, I'll 8e here to shoosh you 8ack in line, I guess.
AT: yEAH, tHANKS,
AT: <>
AG: <>
AG: Anyway, I should go.
AT: yEAH, mE TOO,
AG: Okay, well, 8ye Tavros.
AT: sEE YOU, vR1SKA,
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT].
***
terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA].
TC: Hey sister.
GA: Oh Um
GA: Gamzee
GA: Just What Brings You To My Trollian Window This Evening
TC: Haha, ain't all that much, really.
TC: Just wanted to talk up at you, maybe get my thanks on once again what for the excellent outfit you all made for me.
GA: Oh
GA: Well It Was No Trouble Really
GA: Im Always Pleased To Find An Opportunity To Put My Skills As A Seamstress To Work
GA: Although I Must Admit Those Opportunities Are Beocming Increasingly Prolific As Of Late
GA: Not That Im Complaining Mind You Just The Opposite Really
GA: Though I Do Kind Of Wish There Were More Requests For Proper Fashionable Apparel As Opposed To The Silly Flarping Costumes Everyones Asking Me To Make
TC: Yeah, I guess every motherfucker's gettin all up onto this FLARPing business real hardcore, huh?
TC: First it was just the usual suspects, but now Tavbro's all tellin me he's hookin back up to the former robosister and Team Charge is about to up and desecrate some mystic motherfuckin ruins together.
GA: Yes So Ive Heard
GA: Vriska Wont Stop Talking About All The Brutal Creature Encounters And Devious Traps She And Terezi Have In Store For Them
GA: I Assume Tavros Is Equally Excited
TC: Well, I'm not sure excited's the proper word for it.
GA: Oh
GA: What Do You Mean
TC: It seems as he's more nervous around it than anything.
GA: Nervous
GA: Well Thats Kind Of To Be Expected I Would Think
GA: I Mean Up Until Recently Aradia Has Been Thoroughly Deceased And She Was Almost A Completely Different Person For The Duration Of Her Undeath
GA: So I Think Its Only Natural He Would Approach The Matter With Some Trepidation
GA: Its Like Reuniting With An Old Friend After Theyve Been Gone For Sweeps
GA: Only Where Shes Been Is The Afterlife
TC: Hahaha, shit, I guess.
TC: Still, though, I'm kind of worried on it.
TC: His self-esteem is through the motherfuckin roof lately, so it doesn't make any sense for me what he'd up and let his confidence slip to somethin as simple like this.
GA: Hmm
GA: That Is A Little Strange
GA: But Then Its Just A Flarping Session Between Friends
GA: Whats The Worst That Could Possibly Happen
GA: Er
GA: Given The Assumption That Vriska Wont Attempt To Maim Or Kill Either Of Them Which I Think Is A Perfectly Fair Assumption At This Point
TC: Yeah, that's fair.
TC: Fuck, I don't know, maybe I'm all just readin too much onto it.
TC: They'll probably just both fuck up some holographic game constructs together and have themselves a rowdy motherfuckin time.
GA: Yes I Think Thats A Likely Outcome
GA: Given The Result Of The Most Recent Flarping Session Im Sure It Will Simply End Up Being A Relatively Lighthearted Romp For All Parties Involved
GA: And Even If Something Does End Up Happening At Least Hell Still Have A Lovely Costume
TC: Yeah, he really digs the vestments you all made at him, by the way.
GA: I Figured He Would
GA: Honestly Im Not Sure Why I Didnt Fabricate Such A Garment For Him Earlier
GA: After All Im The One Who Gave Him The Idea To Seek Rufio As A Source Of Confidence In The First Place
GA: Surely It Would Have Only Been Natural For Me To Extrapolate That The Clothes Make The Man So To Speak
TC: Haha, yeah, they've made quite a man out on the brother.
GA: Well Im Glad You Like It Too
GA: I Crafted A Similar Outfit For Miss Megido As Well
GA: Inspired By That Old Series Of Movies Starring Troll Harrison Ford She Always Seemed So Fond Of Back Before She Died
GA: I Even Ended Up Making An Outfit For Nepeta Because Apparently She Ended Up Making A Character As Well
GA: I Have To Say Working With Animal Hides Is A Unique Challenge
GA: Though Unfortunately My Metallurgical Skills Are Almost Exactly Nil So I Was Forced To Outsource The Armored Cholerbear Plates She Requested To Equius
TC: Huh.
GA: But Anyway Im Sorry Ive Gone Off On A Tangent
GA: I Really Do Enjoy Making Alterations To The Stock God Tier Garments
GA: Although The Grist Required To Alchemize The Tools Necessary To Work With The Fabric Was Quite Absurd
GA: The Game Really Has Some Questionable Attire For Some Of The Roles
TC: Yeah, tell me around that shit.
TC: That Bard getup was ridiculous like fuck, codpiece and all.
TC: Shit made me look as a clown, and quite frankly, I'm startin to get pretty motherfuckin sick of clowns lately.
GA: Yes So Ive Heard
GA: But This Seems Like Quite A Change For You
GA: Didnt You Used To Regard Jubilant Minstrels With Some Reverence
TC: Yeah, but that's all on the past now.
TC: The legend of the Mirthful Messiahs wasn't ever shit but a myth all spun up to sway me unto servitude like a proper Subjugglator.
TC: My palebro all tried to explain that at me once, around how miracles and magic and shit ain't any such bullshit except what can be explained by perfectly scientific reasons.
TC: But I was comin down from a sweeps-long sopor high all when he was expositing over that shit, so maybe that wasn't such a hot motherfuckin idea.
GA: Um
GA: No Maybe Not
GA: Still Though I Think Youre Right
GA: Frankly The Idea Of A Band Of Rowdy And Capricious Deities Sounds Absolutely Absurd To Me And Doesnt Deserve To Even Be Diginified With Serious Consideration
GA: No Offense
TC: Nah, you're right on.
TC: I already made out all who the fuck the real motherfuckin Messiahs were supposed to be at all along.
TC: They were always both Tavros.
GA: I See
TC: Wait, shit, I forgot.
TC: Tavros isn't the Verbal Messiah, he's just the First Prophet, and throughout his strong connection onto The Flow, he conducted the divinations what brought the Precepts all up onto this world.
GA: Wow
GA: Thats A Little Convoluted
GA: It Sounds Like Quite A Lot Of Thought Has Been Put Into This New Religion Of Yours
TC: Yeah, the mythos is pretty motherfuckin complex.
TC: See, the Verbal Messiah is The Flow incarnate, the deity what's all gonna deliver rhythmic salvation unto all peoples in this world and the next.
TC: But he ain't scheduled to make his glorious appearance until an unknown point on the future.
TC: On an unknown time and place, he shall be born a mortal, no different to the others save for the bright crimson mark of shame he bears on eyes and veins alike.
TC: In the trials and tribulations what constitute his maturation, the Strident (so he shall be called, so has it been forespoken) will master the art of slam poetry, and the magnitude of his verbal pulse shall herald the upheaval of society as we know it.
TC: In the end, his mastery of The Flow shall be so great, he will be named the King of Kings of Wordtech, and ascend to Godhood, looking down upon us from the celestial firmament patriarchally like a great urban watermark emblazoned upon the sky.
TC: Shall I continue?
GA: Please Dont
TC: Yeah, okay.
TC: Still, though, this shit's important to me.
TC: Even if miracles are all just fake like shit, there's too much in this universe what I don't understand that I've got to all up and put my stock into something, you know?
GA: Yes Thats Perfectly Fair
GA: I Can Understand Why Such Beliefs Might Bring You Comfort Even If I Personally Dont Share Them
GA: And As Long As You Respect My Personal Views I See No Reason Why I Shouldnt Respect Yours In Return
TC: Of course, sister, do your own thing. I come not to condemn.
TC: In the time of his ascension, the Verbal Messiah shall bless all with his providence, believer and heretic alike.
TC: As his disciples, we seek not salvation, for that is already guaranteed, but simply self-actualization via strengthening our bond with The Flow.
GA: Well Thats A Very Noble Goal
GA: And Though Im Afraid I Have No Intention Of Indulging In Your Faith At This Time I Wish You And Tavros The Best Of Luck In Any Future Proselytization In Which You May Participate
TC: Much obliged, sis.
TC: Bangarang.
GA: Right Anyway
GA: Harlequin Sensibility And Groin Focused Accessories Aside Im Not Even Entirely Certain The Bard Costume Is The Worst Among The Classes
GA: Apparently The Page Outfit Tavros Had Donned After His Ascension Was Completely Lacking In Pants For One
TC: Haha, yeah, he actually showed me that.
TC: Unfortunately, he got it all in his think pan to alchemize himself a proper set of trousers not too long before.
GA: Unfortunately
TC: Well, I understand a brother's concerns what for wantin to cover over his legs and all that...
TC: But I appreciate the view the original outfit affords a little better.
GA: Haha
GA: Yes I Suppose You Would
GA: Anyway Speaking Of Tavros I Understand He Entered An Auspisticism Lately
TC: Ugh.
TC: Yeah, with that patronizing, hemoscraping, lakefowl-stepping, blueblooded, sweaty asshole stooge of a motherfucker what has the nerve to all up and call himself a noble.
TC: Noble piece of shit, more like.
GA: Um
GA: I Take It You Dont Like Equius
TC: If that's all you took, then you took a little slice of a big pie.
GA: Er Right
GA: Anyway I Understand Things Have Been Tense Between Him And Your Matesprit For Some Time Now
TC: Not all that much time.
TC: Certainly not as much time like the time he's spent tellin me I'm a worthless piece of shit what for all havin myself the gumption to up and be hatched higher in the Hemospectrum than his own worthless ass.
GA: Um Wow
GA: I Have To Say This Reaction Is A Little Unexpected
GA: Not Your Animosity Towards Mister Zahhak In Particular Mind You
GA: Just Seeing You So Angry About
GA: Well About Anything Honestly
TC: Yeah, well, what can I say?
TC: That motherfucker just seems to know exactly how to maximize my livid motherfuckin contempt for him.
TC: Brother always had a chip under his shoulder to me, but it wasn't until recent events what I realized what an enormous tool he had.
GA: Uh
TC: Been.
TC: Had been.
TC: Had been... being?
TC: Fuck, man, I don't get language.
GA: Right
GA: Anyway
GA: I Suppose I Never Realized The Extent Of The Conflict Between You Two
GA: Perhaps Youre The Ones Who Need An Auspistice
TC: Well, actually...
GA: What
GA: Youre Not Attempting To Solicit Me Are You
TC: No, no, ain't any such shit like that.
TC: Well, I guess I am performin something what's a solicitation of one sort or another, but I'm not askin' you to do any such ashen duties on my personal motherfuckin regards.
GA: Um Okay
GA: So What Are You Asking Me For
GA: If Im Even Parsing That Sentencelike Word Cluster Correctly
TC: Well, to speak the plain motherfuckin truth to the matter, I'm not interested in havin some motherfucker auspistice at me.
TC: And the reason at that is all because I was thinkin I might get me the gumption to up and auspistice on some other two motherfuckers.
GA: Oh
GA: Youre Interested In Being An Auspistice Yourself
TC: Short of it, yeah.
GA: Interesting
GA: I Cant Say I Really Expected This Either
GA: Actually Wait Come To Think Of it This Isnt Even The First Time Youve Expressed Your Interest In Performing An Arbitration Of Some Sort
GA: Weird
TC: Is it that bad?
GA: No Its Not Bad Its Just
GA: Im Just Kind Of Wondering Where This Came From
TC: Well, I've never been a motherfucker what ever wanted to sit about while two other motherfuckers got their harsh on at each other.
TC: Just wondered why we couldn't all settle down and spill some Faygos and maybe chill out a bit together.
TC: Never really took the whole thing serious, though.
TC: But now that I've ascended and all gotten to get up onto a better understanding of Rage, I thought auspisticism just might be a duty onto which I would be uniquely motherfuckin suited.
GA: Hmmm
GA: I Hadnt Considered That
GA: But I Suppose There Might Be Some Logic To It As Shocking As That Thought May Seem To Me
GA: But How Exactly Do I Factor Into This
TC: Well, uh...
TC: Don't take this shit the wrong way or anything...
TC: But I was just kind of wantin to maybe get some advice out of you cause you're all the most, uh, experienced auspistice what's in all of us.
TC: No offense.
GA: Its Fine I Get It
GA: I Understand That Despite My Protests My Meddlesome Nature Has Made Me Something Of A Village Two Wheel Device when It Comes To Mediating
TC: I didn't say shit.
GA: Anyway I Like To Think Ive Settled Down A Bit Now
GA: This Little Arrangement With Nepeta And Terezi Has Worked Out Quite Nicely And I Think I Can See It Being Sustainable Well Into The Future
TC: Yeah, that shit's all kinds of messed up, though.
TC: Those two sisters used to be best motherfuckin friends, but now they're all up an gettin snappy towards each other.
TC: Where'd that shit come out of?
GA: Well Its Complicated
GA: In A Vacuum Im Sure They Would Get Along Perfectly Well As They Did Before
GA: But The Impetus Of The Conflict Seems To Be In Their Relationships With Others
GA: After All Miss Pyropes Matesprit Is The Same As Miss Leijons Kismesis And Its Only Natural That Such An Arrangement Might Lead To Disagreements Between The Two Parties
TC: Aw shit, that's right, the oldest situation on the book.
TC: The old matesprit-kismesis auspistice triple triad reacharound.
GA: Thats Not What Its Called
TC: Oh.
TC: Then what is it called?
GA: It Isnt Called Anything
TC: Well, shit, it's got to be called something.
GA: No It Doesnt Just Shut Up
TC: Fuck, okay, droppin that shit already.
GA: Sorry Its Just
GA: An Absolutely Terrible Name
TC: Yeah, shit, I guess.
TC: But anyway, I could see some motherfucker hatin on your matesprit all to be a matter of some motherfuckin debate what's across the two of you.
GA: Exactly
GA: And If That Werent Enough I Daresay The Two Of Them Might Find Themselves In An Identical Predicament With The Quadrants Reversed
TC: Wait, you mean...
TC: You think the catsister's gonna get her flush on up towards the same motherfucker what the dragonsister'll get pitch at on top of all that shit you all up and said earlier?
GA: Its Just A Theory
GA: But Things Just Seem To Be Shaping Up That Way
TC: Well, shit, that's one fucked up kind of scenario, sister.
TC: One messed up trainwreck of a multicolored quadrilateral what's if I ever heard around one.
GA: Yes It Promises All Sorts Of Minor Conflicts In Need Of Resolution By A Neutral Third Party In The Future
GA: Lovely Isnt It
TC: Sounds as a dream come motherfuckin true.
GA: But Anyway Enough About My Ashen Endeavours As Fruitful As They May Be
GA: Just What Sort Of Questions Did You Have For Me
GA: And Keep In Mind That In Order To Protect Valuable Trade Secrets I May Not Be Permitted To Answer Certain Inquiries
TC: Right, right, of course.
TC: I get that you might all need to be up and getting your protection on towards your intellectual property, sister.
TC: I got my own secret recipes and you got yours.
GA: Okay Then
TC: Anyway, i guess I was just kind of all wondering...
TC: How you approach this shit.
GA: What Do You Mean
TC: I mean, just like, how you start it up.
TC: Like, if you see two motherfuckers gettin harsh at each other, and you all want to put a stop on that shit, how do you go around it?
GA: Oh I See
GA: So Youre
GA: Youre Asking Me For Advice On How To Initiate A Relationship
TC: Yeah, pretty much.
GA: Thats
GA: Thats A Terrible Idea In So Many Ways I Cant Even Begin To Describe Them
TC: Uh...
GA: I Mean
GA: I Could Try I Guess
GA: But This Is Kind Of My Um
GA: Blind Spot
TC: I don't know about that, sister.
TC: You put the lockdown all up on your own auspisticism like a consummate motherfuckin professional.
TC: All up and just defused that shit like as you just cut the fuse out of a shiny black cartoon bomb.
GA: Well I Guess
GA: But That Was Kind Of A Special Case
GA: Nepeta And Terezi Have Been Friends For A While
GA: So When They Started Arguing With Each Other So Heatedly On That Memo It Was Shocking Just How Blatantly Ashen They Were For Each Other
GA: In Retrospect I Almost Feel Like I Took Advantage Of Them By Intervening So Forcefully
GA: But They Dont Seem To Have Any Problem With It
TC: So is that all how I should make my approach?
TC: Just wait until two motherfuckers get into a fierce squabble, and then put my foot all down upon it and get my conciliation on?
GA: Well
GA: I Guess Thats Generally How It Goes Isnt It
GA: Eridan Did Pretty Much The Same Thing Just Recently
TC: Well, shit, okay, I can do that.
TC: But on the same time...
TC: I don't want to be all tryin to get my meddle on if two motherfuckers are actually properly black at one another, you know?
GA: You Dont
TC: Shit no, sister.
TC: I don't want to be the motherfucker what smothers what could have all rightfully been a beautiful hatemance.
TC: Like, just in an example, I was kind of all thinkin maybe I should try to settle the shit what's been goin up with you and the fishsister.
GA: What
TC: But I could maybe see that actually movin into what's all could be a legitimate kismesissitude, so I was thinkin maybe I shouldn't interfere.
GA: Whoa Okay Hold On Just A Seocnd
GA: Lets Just Be Clear About One Thing Here Okay
GA: Im Not Black For Feferi
TC: You're not.
GA: No
TC: You sure around that?
TC: Cause that shit all looks to me to be pretty motherfuckin contentious.
GA: No Listen To Me
GA: I Dont Hate Her Like That
GA: The Only Reason Im Upset With Her Is Because
GA: Well Its Because Of Her Constant Advances On My Matesprit
TC: Whoa, what?
GA: Shes Flirting With Vriska
GA: Almost Perpetually From What I Understand
GA: And Vriska Assures Me Its All In Good Fun And She Has No Intention Of Leaving Me For Miss Peixes And I Believe Her
GA: But
GA: Well
GA: Theres This Small Part Of Me That Just Has To Wonder
GA: What If She Does
GA: What If She Eventually Gives In To Feferis Advances And Does Something Regrettable
TC: Wait, wait, slow the mother fuck down.
TC: You're actually thinkin the spidersis might break up with you to run off after Feferi?
GA: Well
GA: Theres No Real Reason Why I Should Think That
GA: Its Just One Of Those Niggling Little Concerns I Cant Do Anything To Dispel No Matter How Hard I Try
GA: Its Horrible Of Me To Even Consider That Isnt It
TC: Nah, we all got little things what we all worry too much around, even if there ain't no reason what for us havin em.
TC: In all honesty, I'm kind of worried on Tavbro recently.
GA: You Are
TC: Yeah, I mean...
TC: He's been all sorts of irritable and angry about some shit he never feels like talkin on.
TC: And since after yesterday, it's gotten even worse.
TC: And he doesn't take it out on me or anything, but...
TC: I just wish I knew what it was.
GA: Hmmm
GA: You Dont Think
GA: It Has Anything To Do With
GA: Him And Vriska Do You
TC: I don't know.
GA: You Know About Their Um
GA: Their Thing Right
TC: Yeah, he talked about me to it before.
TC: Some kind of tension runnin across them.
TC: I don't think it's that, though.
GA: So
GA: Youre Completely Okay With The Two Of Them
GA: Bonding
TC: Kind of, yeah.
TC: You got a problem at it?
GA: I
GA: Thats The Thing
GA: I Really Dont
TC: So... there ain't no problem, then?
GA: But There Should Be A Problem Shouldnt There
GA: I Mean
GA: Moirails Arent Supposed To Do That Kind Of Thing
GA: Its Supposed To Be Frowned Upon
TC: Uh...
TC: Yeah, I guess...
GA: Id Certainly Never Do That Kind Of Thing With My Moirail If I Had One
GA: Unless Of Course There Were Some Extraordinary Circumstances In Which Doing So Was Absolutely Necessary
GA: But I Cant Imagine What Kind Of Contrived Situation Would Require Something Like That
GA: It Sounds Like Something Out Of A Really Trashy Romance Novel
GA: Or Maybe Some Kind Of Horrible Erotic Fanfiction Like The Kind Nepeta Apparently Produces Did You Know About This
TC: I don't know, I mean...
GA: But While I Feel That The Whole Idea Of Moirails Being Intimate Like That Is Strange And Maybe A Little Creepy
GA: I Dont Have A Problem With Tavros And Vriskas Relationship At All
GA: I Understand Why She Would Still Have Some Latent Attraction To Him But
GA: Its Different
GA: From What She Has With Me
GA: And I Just
GA: I Dont Know
GA: I Guess
GA: Im Just Having Trouble Reconciling The Reality Of My Feelings With The Situation With My Personal Ideology
GA: I Have To Wonder If Maybe Im Being A Little Too Forgiving
GA: You Know What I Mean
TC: Kind of, yeah.
TC: But maybe it's just best what we all just keep up an open motherfuckin mind over this whole subject.
GA: You Think So
GA: You Dont Feel Like Youre Allowing Yourself To Be Shamelessly Cuckolded
TC: Nah, not really.
TC: It's just how matesprits all work, I guess.
TC: You take the bad with the good and do your best to ignore it.
GA: Haha
GA: Yeah I Guess Thats About The General Strategy
TC: I'm content to let that shit lie for now.
TC: If it does up and become a problem, I trust Tavros to do the right thing.
GA: Yeah
GA: I Guess You Should
GA: And I Should Trust Vriska To Do The Right Thing Too
TC: Now, I ain't so motherfuckin sure around that.
TC: No offense on your matesprit, but she's a notorious schemer.
TC: Hell, she might all be weavin her spidery magicks and gettin irons all up in her fire what so she can get you tangled up on some big sneaky plot.
GA: Ha
GA: Im Not Too Worried About That
GA: As Manipulative As Vriska May Be Im Confident She Would Never Do Anything To Hurt Me
GA: At Least Not Intentionally
TC: Yeah, I was all just yankin on your leg, anyhow.
GA: Well
GA: So Youre Really Okay With Her And Tavros
TC: I ain't too worried on it.
TC: They're too deep in the pale shit together for anything to really come out of it.
TC: Once somebody opens up like that at you, I don't think you can idealize them enough to make em your matesprit.
GA: Hmmm
GA: Well Then
GA: I Guess There Really Isnt Anything To Worry About Is There
TC: Nah, we cool.
GA: Thats
GA: A Bit Of A Relief Actually
GA: I Was Worried That This Whole Thing Might Be The Earmammoth In The Respiteblock For Quite Some Time
GA: In Fact I Was Concerned That They Might Go Ahead With It Without Your Consent And It Might Lead To Some Sort Of Animosity Between You And Vriska
GA: Possibly Even Leading To The Two Of You Requiring An Auspistice
TC: Awww, shit no, sister.
TC: I ain't any motherfucker what's ever gonna need an auspistice, I'm way too chill all up for that shit.
TC: Mind you, if your spidersis had done that shit without my knowledge, I'd have all been required to give her a stern motherfuckin talking to.
TC: And I mean really motherfuckin stern.
TC: Beats set to lecture, and goin hog motherfuckin wild on the curmudgeon knob all up at that bitch.
TC: But I ain't a brother to hold a grudge.
GA: Well
GA: Thats Good To Hear I Guess
GA: Honestly I Was Mostly Afraid I Might Have To Intervene Myself
GA: Ive Been Down That Road Before And It Wasnt Something I Was Looking Forward To Potentially Repeating
TC: Well, shit, nobody says you've all got to mediate for your matesprit, that shit would be all kinds of out of whack.
GA: Yes I Completely Agree
GA: But If Not Me Then Who
GA: This Is Kind Of An Ongoing Concern For Me Honestly
GA: Even Though Shes Gotten A Lot Better Recently Vriska Isnt The Most Agreeable Person
GA: And I Could Easily See Her Falling Into A Feud With Someone That Would Require The Intervention Of A Mediator
GA: But Im Just Not Sure Who Would Be Willing To Serve As An Auspistice For Her
GA: Nepeta Maybe
GA: Technically She Already Did It Once
GA: Though Im Not Sure Just How Willing She Would Be To Perform An Auspisticism Now Considering That Shes Already In One
TC: Well, hey.
TC: If it ever comes up at that, I might be willin to do it.
GA: Oh
GA: Well
GA: That Could Actually Work Couldnt It
TC: Sure, I mean, if it was cool on you.
GA: Hmmmm
GA: I Guess Id Be Okay With That
GA: I Can Certainly Think Of Less Desirable Candidates In Any Case
TC: Well, alright, if it ever comes down with Vriska and somebody, I could all try to put a stopper in that shit.
GA: Well Thank You Gamzee
TC: No problem, sister.
TC: Though I've got to all wonder...
GA: About What
TC: This whole thing with you and the fish princess, mainly.
GA: Urrgh
GA: Really
GA: This Again
TC: Now, I ain't sayin you're black for her or any such nonsense like that.
TC: But if you really aren't, then maybe that's some shit what would require a mediator
GA: But
GA: You Dont Really Think Its That Bad Do You
TC: I'm just sayin, shit looks pretty motherfuckin bitter for me.
GA: Look I Just
GA: Okay Maybe Ive Been Bad About Responding To Her Taunts
GA: But Im Not Sure We Need An Auspistice
GA: I Could Just Ignore Her Really
TC: But what if it's not that simple?
GA: Uh
GA: What Do You Mean
TC: I mean, I know you're all sayin you aren't black at Feferi...
TC: But what if she's black at you?
GA: Um
GA: What
GA: You Seriously Think She Might Be
TC: It's a possibility, is all.
TC: Might explain some shit, honestly.
TC: Could be she's startin all these conflicts up with you like some way of tryin to flirt with you.
GA: Oh God
GA: I Hadnt Even Considered That
GA: But As Terrible As It Is To Admit It Makes Sense
GA: Maybe Shes Jealous Of Me For Taking Vriska Away From Her After She Realized Too Late She Was Flushed For Her
GA: Or Maybe She Hates Me For Some Other Reason And This Whole Thing Between The Two Of Them Is A Ruse To Make Me Despise Her
GA: Good Lord
TC: So you think you might need yourself a motherfuckin auspistice after all?
GA: I
GA: I Dont Know
GA: I Mean If She Really Is Black For Me Then I
GA: Guess Im Flattered
GA: But Im Just Not Interested In A Kismesis At This Time
TC: Yeah, fair enough.
GA: I Mean
GA: If I Was
GA: Then I Guess She Wouldnt Be A Bad Choice
GA: Shes Not An Unattractive Woman By Any Measure
GA: Though Frankly I Find Her Fashion Sense To Be Absolutely Dreadful
GA: And She Does Seem To Be A
GA: Uniquely Infuriating Person
GA: But No Im Not Interested And Thats Final
TC: So you might actually require yourself an arbitrator.
GA: Well
GA: I Guess I Can See Why We Might Need One
GA: But Im Not Sure Its Really Necessary At This Point In Time
TC: Yeah, I think I'm all understandin where you're comin out of.
TC: You ain't interested in a kismesissitude now, but you don't want to get locked onto an auspisticism in case you up and change your mind later.
GA: What
GA: No Thats Not What Im Saying At All
TC: It's fine, sister, I get it.
TC: I can totally understand you all wantin to maybe hold off at approachin that particular relationship right now.
GA: But Im Not
GA: Im Not Holding Off On
GA: Urrgh
GA: Fine Whatever
GA: Believe Whatever You Want To Believe
TC: Haha, alright then.
TC: Anyway, thanks for hearin me out over all this shit.
TC: Glad to know there's people I can count on what if I'm ever lookin to get at some romantic advice.
GA: Yes Of Course Its No Problem
GA: I Can Understand Why You Might Be Concerned About Your own Ashen Quadrant
GA: Try As You Might You Arent A Very Unlikable Person
TC: Hahaha, yeah, so I've heard.
GA: Well Anyway
GA: Oh
GA: Hang On Vriskas Trolling Me
TC: Yeah, okay.
TC: Oh, hey, now Tavbro's all trollin me.
GA: Well
GA: I Guess Shes Coming Over Here
TC: Yeah, and now he's comin over here.
GA: Well Then
GA: I Guess This Is As Good A Time As Any To Conclude This Conversation
TC: Makes sense, I guess.
GA: Okay Then
GA: So
GA: Talk To You Later I Suppose
TC: Sure.
TC: Good luck with all your shit with Vriska.
GA: Yes Thank You
GA: And Likewise With Your Shit With Tavros
TC: Haha, much appreciated.
TC: Anyway, see you sister.
TC: And lest I up and forget, bangarang.
GA: Haha Of Course
GA: And Bangarang To You As Well
GA: Anyway Bye Gamzee
TC: Yeah, talk at you later, sis.
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC].
***
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA].
CG: HEY.
CA: oh kar
CA: thank fuck you finally unblocked me
CA: ivve been wwantin to say somethin to you in privvate for a wwhile noww an i nevver had the opportunity
CG: IF YOU APOLOGIZE TO ME, I'M BLOCKING YOU AGAIN.
CA: wwh
CA: wwhat
CA: wwhy
CG: BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING
CG: I AM.
CA: no kar you dont havve anything to apologize for
CG: LOOK, JUST SHUT UP, OKAY?
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DELIVER MY APOLOGY.
CG: YOU CAN GO ON SPEWING WHATEVER IDIOTIC DRIVEL YOU FEEL LIKE AFTER I'M DONE, OKAY???
CA: i
CA: ok fine go on
CG: OKAY.
CG: ERIDAN
CG: I, KARKAT VANTAS
CG: LOUDMOUTHED ASSHOLE EXTRAORDINAIRE
CG: HAVE BEEN AN UNBELIEVABLY SHITTY FRIEND TO YOU.
CG: I TOOK A GIANT SHIT ALL OVER YOUR FEELINGS IN THE MIDDLE OF A PUBLIC MEMO
CG: MADE A BUNCH OF INCREDIBLY INFLAMMATORY REMARKS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER
CG: AND JUST COMPLETELY FLEW OFF THE HANDLE AT YOU IN A REALLY EMBARRASSING WAY ABOUT SOMETHING I HAD NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY AT YOU ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE
CG: AND I'M JUST
CG: I'M SORRY.
CA: ok
CA: is that it
CA: apology ovver
CG: PRETTY MUCH, YEAH.
CG: UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO GO ON.
CA: nah thats fine
CG: WELL
CG: OKAY, THERE IT IS.
CA: ok
CA: wwell that bein said
CA: kar im not mad
CG: BULLSHIT.
CA: im serious
CG: HOW CAN YOU NOT BE MAD AT ME?
CG: I CALLED YOU A LIAR, A TRAITOR, AND AN ASSHOLE IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY, AND IMPLIED YOU WERE JUST HOOKING UP WITH TEREZI IN AN ATTEMPT TO PISS ME OFF.
CA: yeah i knoww but
CA: look i just get wwhat you wwere goin through ok
CA: i mean honestly the wwhole thing wwas pretty despicable a me
CA: goin behind your back just to put the movves on ter
CG: YOU DIDN'T GO BEHIND MY BACK.
CG: HONESTLY, IT WAS RIDICULOUS OF ME TO EXPECT ANYBODY TO ASK MY PERMISSION BEFORE DOING ANYTHING INVOLVING HER IN THE FIRST PLACE.
CA: yeah but i kneww you wwere flushed for her an i wwent for it anywway wwhat the hell does that say about me
CG: YOU DIDN'T KNOW FOR CERTAIN I WAS FLUSHED FOR HER.
CA: wwell i had a pretty good hunch ok
CG: LOOK, THIS DOESN'T MATTER.
CG: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HOW I FELT FOR TEREZI AT THE TIME ANYMORE.
CG: IT'S OVER AND DONE WITH, LEAVE THE PAST MES TO BITCH ABOUT IT.
CG: ALL THAT MATTERS RIGHT NOW IS THE PRESENT
CG: AND IN THE PRESENT, I DON'T GIVE THE SLIGHTEST WHIFF OF A FUCK ABOUT TEREZI, SO THE WHOLE THING IS A COMPLETE NON-ISSUE.
CA: seriously
CA: youre completely ovver her
CG: ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-THREE FUCKING PERCENT.
CG: HONESTLY, IN RETROSPECT, MY WHOLE ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENT WITH HER WAS NEVER ANYTHING MORE THAN A MIGRAINE-INDUCING QUAGMIRE.
CG: GOD, I CAN'T EVEN SEE WHY I WAS FLUSHED FOR HER IN THE FIRST PLACE, SHE'S PROBABLY THE MOST IRRITATING PERSON IN EXISTENCE.
CG: I GUESS LOVE HAS TO BE BLIND, BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN EXPLAIN WHY IT WOULD LEAD ME INTO THAT DITCH FULL OF BROKEN GLASS AND DISCARDED PAILS.
CA: uh
CA: kar
CG: WHAT.
CA: look i get that youre upset an all an im not by any means tryin to take that awway from you
CA: but this is still my matesprit wwere talkin about here
CG: SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO HERE?
CG: ARE YOU ASKING ME NOT TO SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT THE UNBEARABLE SHRIEKING HARPY OF A WOMAN WHO TOOK THE COUNTLESS HOURS OF AFFECTION I WASTED ON HER AND THREW THEM IN A FUCKING BONFIRE JUST TO PROVE A POINT??
CA: no im not
CA: its just
CA: look howw about wwe just dont talk about ter at all is that acceptable
CG: OKAY, FINE.
CG: THAT'S A FUCKING CAPITAL IDEA IF EVER I'VE HEARD ONE.
CA: ok wwell
CA: evven wwith your current feelins taken into consideration i still feel like a shitty friend for wwhat i did an i wwanted to apologize
CG: WELL, IF YOU DO, MY CURSOR IS PERCHED AND HOVERING OVER THE BLOCK BUTTON.
CG: TRY ME.
CA: god damnit
CA: youre seriously not evven gonna let me try to apologize
CG: ARE YOU GOING TO TRY TO LET *ME* APOLOGIZE?
CA: theres nothin to apologize for i told you im not mad
CG: UGH.
CG: WHY IS NO ONE MAD ABOUT THIS???
CG: IT'S JUST MAKING ME FEEL LIKE AN EVEN BIGGER PIECE OF SHIT THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO LOST MY TEMPER OVER IT.
CA: if its any consolation i think ters still mad about it
CG: YEAH, WELL, I GIVE PRECISELY NEGATIVE ZERO POINT TWO ONE SIX FUCKS ABOUT WHAT SHE THINKS.
CA: just sayin
CG: SO I GUESS WE'VE REACHED AN IMPASSE HERE.
CG: NEITHER OF US IS WILLING TO LET THE OTHER APOLOGIZE
CG: SO WE'RE JUST BOTH GOING TO STAND HERE FOREVER, HANDS PRIMED AND HOVERING AT OUR HIPS, IN WHAT JUST MIGHT POSSIBLY BE CINEMA'S SHITTIEST STANDOFF.
CA: wwell
CA: ok look
CA: howw about wwe just say wwere both sorry an wwe both forgivve each other an then wwe both just movve on wwith our livves
CA: can wwe do that wwould that be a fair compromise
CA: cause i certainly think it beats starin each other dowwn for the rest a time in paradox spaces slowwest quick draww
CG: YEAH, I GUESS.
CA: so
CA: wwhat do you say
CG: WELL
CG: ALRIGHT, FINE.
CG: ALL APOLOGIES ARE ACCEPTED AND ALL IS FORGIVEN.
CA: wwell ok then
CG: SO
CG: WE COOL?
CA: wwe cool
CG: WELL
CG: OKAY.
CG: THAT WAS A LOT EASIER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE.
CA: look kar wwere friends
CA: an friends forgivve each other thats just wwhat they do
CA: i get wwhy you did wwhat you did sometimes wwhen emotions are runnin high you just say stupid things that you regret
CG: LOOK, CAN WE JUST
CG: NOT TALK ABOUT THAT ANYMORE, MAYBE?
CA: yeah alright
CG: THANK YOU.
CA: so uh
CA: did you wwant to talk about anything else
CG: I DON'T KNOW
CG: LIKE WHAT?
CA: wwell
CA: wwe could alwways talk about romance i guess
CA: like wwe alwways used to
CG: WELL, THERE'S NOT MUCH TO TALK ABOUT THERE, HONESTLY.
CG: THIS WHOLE SHIPPING THING HAS JUST COMPLETELY PASSED ME BY SO FAR.
CG: ESPECIALLY COMPARED TO YOU.
CG: SERIOUSLY, ALL YOUR QUADRANTS FILLED ALREADY?
CG: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO IT, AMPORA?
CA: its not that big a deal
CG: ERIDAN
CG: IT'S AN ENORMOUS FUCKING DEAL.
CA: ok fine so it is
CA: but still i dont wwant to brag about it like a tool
CG: YOU'VE GOT EVERY RIGHT TO, IT'S A HARD-WON ACCOMPLISHMENT.
CG: I MEAN, BEING PERFECTLY HONEST, I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE KIND OF A LOST CAUSE.
CG: WHAT WITH YOUR DYSFUNCTIONAL KISMESISSITUDE WITH VRISKA AND THE WHOLE UGLY RED SITUATION WITH FEFERI.
CA: wwell bein perfectly honest i really wwas
CA: it took nep givvin me a full broadside of her feelings attacks to make me shape up an get my shit together
CG: YEAH, I STILL DON'T GET THAT.
CA: wwhat
CG: THE WHOLE THING WITH YOU AND NEPETA.
CG: I MEAN, I JUST
CG: I'M COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF WRAPPING MY MIND AROUND HOW YOU TWO BECAME KISMESES.
CA: yeah i nevver really considered it before but the girls fierce
CA: under that swweet an innocent exterior a hers theres alwways been a bloodthirsty monster just wwaitin to get out
CG: NO, I GET THAT.
CG: I CAN COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WOULD HATE YOU.
CG: NO OFFENSE.
CA: no i get it
CG: BUT I'M HAVING TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING WHY YOU WOULD HATE HER.
CA: wwell
CA: its not that i hate her per se
CG: WHAT.
CA: wwhat
CG: DID YOU JUST TELL ME YOU DON'T HATE YOUR KISMESIS?
CG: THAT MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER.
CG: YOU'RE NOT VACILLATING FOR HER OR SOMETHING, ARE YOU????
CA: no no no let me finish
CA: wwhat im tryin to say here is that evven if i dont necessarily hate her im not sure hatred is actually a necessary component of a kismesissitude
CG: OKAY, CONGRATULATIONS, THAT MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE THAN THE LAST THING YOU SAID.
CG: YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY DIPPED INTO THE NEGATIVES.
CG: WHICH MEANS THAT EVEN IF YOU DO START SAYING THINGS THAT AREN'T COMPLETELY GLOBES-UP RETARDED, YOU'RE STILL NOT GOING TO BE MAKING ANY SENSE, BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY OFF THE DEFICIT.
CA: look i can understand wwhy this might be a controvversial idea but ivve put a lotta thought into this
CA: see the thing is you dont necessarily hate your kismesis you just hate wwhat they can do to you
CA: wwhich is to get under your skin an pick out all your wweaknesses an flawws an basically just make you feel like a piece a shit
CA: but a course you can do the same goddamn thing right back to em
CA: see a kismesis is basically a rivval an a competitor wwho youre alwways tryin to provve youre better than
CA: but paradoxically if you actually did that then you wwouldnt havve a wworthy rivval anymore
CA: so if you evver actually begin to pull ahead youvve got to drag em along to greatness wwith you wwhether they like it or not instead a just leavvin em in the dust
CA: so despite all the trappins of hostility i honestly think its a positivve thing an might evven be more rooted in lovve than anything
CG: OKAY, NO.
CG: YOU DID NOT JUST USE THE L-WORD IN REFERENCE TO BLACKROM.
CG: I MEAN, IF YOU WERE BUSTING OUT THAT PIECE OF SHIT WORD IN REFERENCE TO MATESPRITSHIP OR MOIRALLEGIANCE, THAT'D BE ONE KIND OF BLASPHEMY
CG: BUT IF YOU'RE SERIOUSLY TRYING TO TELL ME THAT KISMESISSITUDE HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH "LOVE," YOU'VE GOT A HOLE RUSTED IN YOUR THINK PAN.
CA: im serious kar
CA: i realize that the general transactions that take place in a kismesissitude naturally tend to produce feelins of animosity
CA: but ultimately i think the wwhole relationship is based on twwo people wwho care about each other an lovve each other at least on some levvel
CG: BULLSHIT.
CG: SO YOU'RE TELLING ME, SAY, SOLLUX AND VRISKA LOVE EACH OTHER.
CA: to an extent
CA: i mean wwhen she nearly killed him she wwent outta her wway to bring him back to life didnt she
CG: THAT'S DIFFERENT.
CG: YOU DON'T KILL YOUR KISMESIS, THAT'S JUST OBVIOUS.
CA: yeah but she couldvve just dream revvivved him
CA: or evven just patched up his eyes an told him to suck it up
CA: but instead she powwered him up to god tier just to make evverything a little more sporting
CG: WHATEVER, THIS PROVES NOTHING.
CG: THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT THOSE TWO DESPISE EACH OTHER.
CA: wwell sure they do noww but they just hooked up
CA: givve em a little more time an theyll be vvitriolic best buds before you knoww it
CG: NO, THIS IS INSANE.
CG: KISMESES DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
CG: THE WHOLE QUADRANT IS ROOTED IN SHEER, UNADULTERATED HATRED.
CG: IF TWO KISMESES ACTUALLY DO START TO HAVE ANY SORT OF FONDNESS FOR EACH OTHER, IT JUST MEANS THEY'RE VACILLATING.
CA: eh
CA: im not so sure about the vvacillation thing honestly
CG: WHAT.
CG: NO, YOU CAN'T "NOT BE SURE" ABOUT A WIDELY ACCEPTED, SCIENTIFICALLY DOCUMENTED OCCURRENCE BETWEEN CONCUPISCENT PARTNERS.
CA: look im not sayin it doesnt happen i just think its a mischaracterization
CA: i mean people think kismeses are supposed to hate each other the entire time but wwhy should they its a mutually satisfyin arrangement
CA: i think its only natural that they might be a little amicable wwith each other
CA: an i think wwhen people think that twwo kismeses are vvacillatin for each other it just means theyvve reached a point wwhere theyvve got a better feel for each other an are startin to see more than just wwhat they hate about each other
CA: because lets be honest its incredibly fuckin unlikely that you can find somebody that you hate literally evverything about
CG: OKAY, FINE, LET'S SAY THIS INSANE THEORY IS TRUE.
CG: THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN VACILLATION BETWEEN MATESPRITS, MISTER QUADRANT EXPERT??
CA: honestly im not sure if vvacillation is somethin that should evven happen betwween matesprits
CG: WH
CG: OKAY, NO.
CG: ERIDAN AMPORA, YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE OFF THE DEEP END.
CG: WHATEVER RIDICULOUS NARCOTIC YOU'VE GOT SLOSHING AROUND IN THAT THINK PAN OF YOURS, YOU SHOULD BOTTLE IT AND GET A FUCKING PATENT ON IT, BECAUSE IT'S GOT YOU HIGHER THAN IF YOU WERE EATING SOPOR.
CA: look kar just hear me out ok
CA: i knoww this sounds crazy but i seriously think that vvacillation in a matespritship isnt right
CA: i mean a matesprit is somebody wwho you lovve wwholly an unconditionally
CA: wwithout any deal breakers or anything like that
CA: if you can honestly find somethin in your matesprit that makes you wwax darker for em then i think thats a serious problem
CG: I GET WHAT A MATESPRIT IS SUPPOSED TO BE, ERIDAN
CG: BUT WE LIVE IN THE GODDAMN REAL WORLD HERE.
CG: NOT EVERY MATESPRITSHIP CAN BE SOME AMAZING FAIRY TALE ROMANCE ABOUT TWO PEOPLE WHO LOVE EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING ABOUT EACH OTHER.
CG: NOBODY'S PERFECT, ERIDAN.
CG: ESPECIALLY NOT FOR EACH OTHER.
CG: THAT'S WHY VACILLATION HAPPENS.
CA: no i dont believve that
CA: i dont think twwo matesprits should evver hate each other evven if theyre as far from perfect as it gets
CG: REALLY.
CA: yeah
CG: SO
CG: WHAT ABOUT YOU AND TEREZI?
CA: wwhat
CG: CAN YOU HONESTLY TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER VACILLATED WITH HER?
CA: kar should wwe really be talkin about this
CG: I'M THE ONE WHO'S ASKING, AREN'T I?
CG: JUST INDULGE ME.
CA: wwell
CA: ok look ill be honest
CA: ter isnt perfect
CA: shes got flawws just as much as anybody else
CA: especially me
CA: but at the same time
CA: ivve nevver hated her
CA: i mean i dont HATE anything about her
CA: evverything i either lovve or i like or i can just pass by
CA: i just
CA: i lovve her too much for it
CG: YEAH, WELL, I WAS FLUSHED FOR HER, TOO
CG: AND I'VE GOT A WHOLE FUCKING RAP SHEET OF THINGS I HATE ABOUT HER.
CG: OR ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN I EVER DID?
CA: no im not sayin that
CA: but
CA: wwell
CA: ok maybe i shouldnt say this
CG: SAY WHAT?
CG: SPIT IT OUT, AMPORA, I KNOW YOU'RE DYING TO ANYWAY.
CA: wwell ok
CA: im not sayin you didnt lovve her
CA: but maybe
CA: maybe you didnt lovve her the wway you think you did
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN.
CA: i mean
CA: maybe you wwere somethin other than flushed for her
CG: WHAT.
CG: I JUST
CG: WHAT?????
CG: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYING TO IMPLY I WAS *BLACK* FOR HER???????
CA: look im just sayin
CA: evven back wwhen you twwo wwere on good terms things alwways seemed pretty caustic betwween you
CA: its perfectly likely that it couldvve been a purely caliginous thing
CA: an the points wwhere you thought you wwere flushed for her wwere just the mellowwer points of a typical black rivvalry
CG: NO, YOU'VE GONE COMPLETELY OFF YOUR GOURD.
CG: YOU'RE CURRENTLY ROCKETING AWAY FROM YOUR GOURD SO FAST THAT YOU'VE REDSHIFTED INTO A RUSTBLOOD AND GAINED THE AMAZING PSIONIC POWER OF COMING UP WITH ROMANTIC THEORIES SO INSANE, THEY MAKE PEOPLE'S THINK PANS EXPLODE AT THE MERE THOUGHT OF THEM.
CA: wwhat
CA: kar that doesnt evven make any sense
CG: WHAT THE FUCK EVER, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
CG: LET ME JUST MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR, ERIDAN:
CG: I HAVE *NEVER* BEEN BLACK FOR TEREZI PYROPE.
CG: IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T EVEN HATE HER.
CG: SHE IS NOT ***WORTHY*** OF MY HATE.
CG: THE BEST SHE WILL EVER GET FROM ME IS COPIOUS HELPINGS OF ANTIPATHY AND SCORN, AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.
CA: are you sure
CG: I'M POSITIVE.
CG: I'M SO POSITIVE ON THE MATTER, IN FACT, THAT I REFUSE TO DEDICATE EVEN A SINGLE ELECTRON TO IT.
CA: wwell thats too bad i guess
CG: WHY IS THAT TOO BAD.
CG: IN FACT, WHAT'S BAD ABOUT THAT AT ALL.
CA: wwell
CA: i probably shouldnt be tellin you this
CA: but she really doesnt like you kar
CG: WOW, BIG SURPRISE.
CG: HERE, LET ME PUT THAT IN THE "THINGS I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW" PILE.
CG: OOPS! MY AIM WAS OFF, AND I THREW IT INTO THE "THINGS THAT WERE ALREADY BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS" PILE BY MISTAKE!
CG: I'D CLIMB DOWN AND CORRECT THE ERROR, BUT THE "I ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT" LADDER WON'T SEEM TO DEPLOY FOR SOME REASON.
CA: yeah i knoww things are alwways tense betwween you twwo
CA: but seriously she is really hung up on it
CA: like shes still pissed off about the wwhole thing that wwent dowwn on that memo like four or fivve days ago
CA: evven the mention a your name is enough to put her in a bad mood
CG: OH GOD.
CG: ARE YOU TELLING ME SHE'S SERIOUSLY BLACK FOR ME????
CA: wwell shed nevver say as much
CA: her ships moored as deeply in the rivver a denial as yours is
CG: I'M NOT IN DENIAL.
CA: yeah THATS somethin that a person in denial wwould nevver say
CG: FUCK YOU.
CA: look all im tryin to say here is that this wwhole thing betwween you twwo isnt goin to go awway easily
CA: an i could easily see it as bein the basis for a kismesissitude
CG: OH DEAR LORD.
CG: YOU'RE HONESTLY TRYING TO SHIP ME.
CA: kar im not tryin to force you into anything here
CA: im just sayin i think you should givve it a shot
CG: OR HOW ABOUT I GIVE MYSELF A SHOT
CG: IN THE HEAD, AT THE MERE THOUGHT OF THAT.
CA: look just consider it
CG: I'M NOT CONSIDERING ANYTHING!
CG: ALL I'M CONSIDERING IS HOW CREEPY IT IS THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO PIMP OUT YOUR MATESPRIT TO ME FOR SOME BIZARRE REASON.
CA: its a different quadrant kar
CA: god youd think that in a naturally polyamorous society wwe could actually talk about this like adults
CG: LOOK, DUDE, I'M FLATTERED AND ALL
CG: BUT SERIOUSLY, JUST DROP IT.
CA: ok fine
CA: just tryin to do a good thing for my friend an my matesprit but wwhatevver
CG: HMM
CG: SO
CG: YOU ACTUALLY LIKE HER, HUH.
CA: i lovve her kar
CA: more than anything
CG: WELL
CG: THAT'S GOOD, I GUESS.
CA: yeah
CG: AND I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAPPY WITH HER AND ALL.
CA: wwell thanks kar
CG: YEAH.
CG: TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST
CG: PART OF THE REASON WHY I GOT SO MAD AT YOU ABOUT GETTING TOGETHER WITH HER IN THE FIRST PLACE
CG: IS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T SERIOUS ABOUT IT.
CG: I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME KIND OF SCHEME ON HER PART, AND YOU WERE JUST GOING ALONG WITH IT FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF FILLING A PAIL WITH HER.
CA: seriously
CG: YEAH, I KNOW, IT'S A SHITTY THING TO ASSUME
CG: BUT I ALWAYS TOOK YOU FOR KIND OF A ONE-DAY STAND KIND OF GUY.
CA: kar come on
CA: i took a blind wwoman to her hivve wwith no intention a datin her again
CA: please
CG: I KNOW, I KNOW.
CG: I REALIZE YOU'RE SERIOUS ABOUT THE WHOLE "TAKING IT SLOW" THING NOW.
CG: HONESTLY, YOU GUYS PROBABLY HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING BEYOND SLOPPY MAKEOUTS AT THIS POINT, RIGHT?
CA: uh
CA: yeah
CA: wwere still wwaitin
CA: yknoww no use rushin into things
CG: YEAH, I FIGURED AS MUCH.
CG: TO BE PERFECTLY FRANK, I ALWAYS KIND OF TOOK YOU FOR KIND OF A SLIMEBALL
CG: BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG.
CA: its fine really
CG: NO IT'S NOT FINE.
CG: I MADE YOU OUT TO BE A TOTAL CREEP, EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE JUST BEING A STAND-UP GUY ALL ALONG.
CG: AND IT'S ESPECIALLY BAD BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING YET!
CA: wwell
CG: LOOK, I'VE BEEN A TOTAL JERK TO YOU, AND I'M SORRY, OKAY?
CA: ok fine
CA: apology accepted dont wworry about it
CG: OKAY, GOOD.
CG: ANYWAY, IT'S COOL THAT YOU FOUND A MATESPRIT, AND I'M
CG: I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, I GUESS.
CA: wwell thanks kar
CA: it means a lot really
CG: EH.
CA: an dont take this the wwrong wway or anythin
CA: but i hope you can find yourself a matesprit too
CA: somebody better for you than ter evver wwas
CA: somebody wwho wwould only evver drivve you crazy in a good wway
CA: an wwho evven thinkin about hatin em wwould make you sick to your stomach
CG: YEAH
CG: THAT'D BE NICE, I GUESS
CG: FINDING SOMEBODY LIKE THAT
CA: i mean
CA: if i can be perfectly honest here
CA: part a the reason i wwent ahead wwith my wwhole plan wwith ter
CA: evven though i kneww you wwere flushed for her
CA: is cause i thought there might be somebody else you actually felt that wway about
CG: YEAH, GAMZEE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.
CG: AND JUST WHO DID YOU THINK IT WAS?
CA: wwho do you think
CA: karkitty
CG: WHAT
CG: YOU MEAN
CG: YOU MEAN NEPETA.
CA: yeah
CA: i mean just from your interactions on her memos it seemed like you had a lot a respect for her
CA: an likewwise she seemed to like you a lot too
CA: an really wwith all your fixation on the quadrants this wwhole shippin thing seemed right up your alley
CA: i just kinda thought from the wway you talked to her an the wway you talked about her there might be the beginnins of a flushcrush there
CA: wwas i just completely off base on that
CG: WELL
CG: OKAY, LOOK
CG: BEFORE I CAN GO INTO THIS ANY FURTHER, YOU HAVE TO SWEAR TO ME THAT YOU WON'T TELL ANOTHER SOUL ABOUT WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE.
CG: UNDERSTAND?
CA: sure kar
CA: its all completely a hundred percent confidential
CG: OKAY
CG: WELL
CG: THE TRUTH IS
CG: YOU WERE COMPLETELY SPOT ON.
CG: I AM SO UTTERLY FLUSHED FOR NEPETA LEIJON THAT I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT DO WITH MYSELF.
CA: seriously
CG: YES, SERIOUSLY.
CG: I MEAN, EVEN BEFORE YOUR THING WITH TEREZI.
CG: HONESTLY, I THINK I WAS DOOMED AS SOON AS SHE FINISHED HER FIRST SHIPPING THING WITH VRISKA.
CG: IT'S JUST
CG: THE WHOLE WAY SHE HANDLED THAT SITUATION
CG: SORTING OUT THE WHOLE QUAGMIRE WITH VRISKA AND TAVROS BY MAKING THEM MOIRAILS
CG: HELPING KANAYA TO CONFESS HER TRUE FEELINGS
CG: IT WAS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A ROMANTIC COMEDY, BUT REAL.
CG: I COULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
CG: BUT SHE DIDN'T EVEN STOP THERE.
CG: SHE'S JUST KEPT DOING HER SHIPPING THING, AND WITH EACH TRIUMPH, SHE'S ONLY GOTTEN MORE AMAZING.
CG: I MEAN, SHE BROUGHT ARADIA ***BACK FROM THE FUCKING DEAD*** JUST SO SHE COULD SHIP HER!!!!!
CA: that wwas actually fef yknoww
CG: WHATEVER, THE SPECIFICS DON'T MATTER.
CG: THE FACT IS, SHE'S THE ONE WHO ENABLED IT.
CG: SHE'S SO SELFLESS, AND GENEROUS, AND CARING
CG: AND SHE JUST *GETS* ROMANCE IN A WAY THAT I DON'T THINK I COULD EVER HOPE TO.
CG: AND I'D BE JEALOUS, BUT SHE'S JUST
CG: SHE'S SO FUCKING AMAZING, I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO IT.
CA: wwoww
CG: SORRY.
CG: I JUST KIND OF WENT OFF THERE, DIDN'T I.
CA: its fine i get it
CA: i can certainly understand wwhy youd be flushed for her
CA: i mean shes pretty much your dream girl
CG: YEAH SHE IS.
CG: I JUST WISH I'D KNOWN SOONER.
CA: wwell in all fairness
CA: she hasnt alwways been the wway she is noww
CG: ARE YOU SURE?
CG: I MEAN, WHAT IF SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS?
CG: AND I JUST NEVER REALIZED IT BECAUSE I WAS AN ENORMOUS ASSHOLE WHO WAS NEVER WILLING TO GIVE HER THE TIME OF NIGHT?
CG: IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME, HONESTLY.
CA: wwell i dont knoww really
CA: i didnt evven really knoww her before wwe started playin this game
CA: but evven goin just from wwhen i first brought her into the game it seems like she changed after she started this little shippin quest a hers
CG: YEAH, I GUESS.
CG: SHE SEEMS A LOT MORE
CG: AWARE, I GUESS.
CG: AND ACTIVE.
CA: and assertivve dont forget that one
CG: UH
CG: I GUESS?
CA: its important yknoww
CA: if she wwere just the same naivve carefree little cattroll she apparently wwas before id nevver a wwanted to be her kismesis
CG: OH GOD, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT.
CG: THIS IS PROBABLY REALLY AWKWARD, ISN'T IT
CG: HEARING ME GUSH ABOUT HOW MUCH I PITY YOUR KISMESIS.
CA: no its fine i get it
CA: its not like im completely opposed to hearin positivve things about her
CG: ALRIGHT, COOL.
CG: BUT YOU AT LEAST UNDERSTAND WHERE I'M COMING FROM WHEN I SAY I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU WOULD HATE HER, RIGHT?
CA: yeah it makes sense
CA: honestly evven if you wwerent flushed for her it wwouldnt make all that much sense wwithout a little context
CG: CONTEXT?
CA: wwell
CA: here just read this its from wwhen i first wwent pitch for her
CA: i think youll get a kick out of it
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] sent carcinoGeneticist [CG] the file ihavvethewweirdestbulge.txt" --
CG: OH GOD
CG: SHOULD I EVEN OPEN THIS??
CA: its just a silly filename theres nothin pornographic in it
CG: WELL, OKAY
CG: GIVE ME A SECOND HERE.
CG: I
CG: WHAT
CG: HOLY SHIT.
CG: ERIDAN, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER????
CA: nothin honestly
CA: i wwas just bein melodramatic about fef an threatenin to givve myself up to the angels wwhen she just snapped
CG: YEAH SHE FUCKING DID.
CG: DEAR LORD, SHE'S JUST GOING BERSERK HERE.
CG: I MEAN
CG: SHE CALLED YOU A STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!
CA: i knoww right
CG: GOD.
CG: SHE JUST COMPLETELY *EVISCERATED* YOU.
CA: yeah tell me about it
CA: thats wwhen i kneww i wwas horns ovver heels obsidian for her
CA: if it wwerent for that caliginous diatribe id a nevver shaped up into the douche i am today
CG: YEAH.
CG: MY GOD.
CG: I THINK I JUST BECAME FLUSHED FOR HER ALL OVER AGAIN.
CA: hahahaha
CA: yeah i get you
CG: SEE, THIS IS WHY I'M NOT EVEN THAT MAD ABOUT YOU AND TEREZI.
CG: BECAUSE SOMEBODY LIKE THIS *EXISTS*.
CA: yeah wwell
CA: you evver consider approachin her about it
CG: WHAT, YOU MEAN
CG: YOU MEAN TALKING TO NEPETA?
CG: ABOUT BEING MY MATESPRIT?
CA: yeah
CG: FUCK, I DON'T KNOW.
CG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE'S INTERESTED IN ME LIKE THAT.
CA: wwell shes really fond a you kar
CA: i can tell you that much
CG: WHAT, DID SHE TELL YOU SHE WAS FLUSHED FOR ME?
CA: wwell no nevver in so many wwords
CA: but you knoww howw people are about this kind a thing
CA: the harder theyvve fallen for somebody the louder theyll deny it
CG: I'M NOT SO SURE.
CG: I MEAN, I KNOW SHE HAD A THING FOR ME BEFORE
CG: BUT THAT SEEMS LIKE AGES AGO.
CG: AND SHE'S MATURED SO MUCH SINCE THEN, I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S HELD ONTO THAT AT ALL.
CG: MAYBE SHE REALIZED WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT I AM AND JUST GOT OVER ME COMPLETELY.
CA: noww kar wwhy wwould you say a thing like that
CG: LOOK, IT'S JUST
CG: IT'S REALLY EMBARRASSING.
CG: BUT RIGHT AFTER YOU AND TEREZI GOT TOGETHER, I TROLLED HER
CG: AND I SAID SOME REALLY STUPID THINGS TO HER.
CG: I WAS REALLY UPSET, AND I TRIED TAKING IT OUT ON HER, AND I JUST FEEL LIKE SUCH A FUCKING MORONIC SHITSPONGE FOR EVEN THINKING OF DOING THAT.
CG: AND I REALIZED WHAT A GLOBE-GARGLING FUCKSTICK I WAS BEING AND TRIED TO APOLOGIZE TO HER, BUT I'M NOT SURE IF IT EVEN MATTERED.
CG: I'M JUST
CG: I'M REALLY AFRAID I FUCKED THINGS UP BETWEEN US ETERNALLY.
CA: wwell
CA: i dont think she took it that hard
CA: wwell she did but i dont think she wwas evver mad at you
CG: SHE WASN'T?
CA: no
CA: i knoww she wwas really upset around then
CA: but she seemed more concerned that she hurt your feelings than anything
CA: she nevver seemed to be angry wwith you
CG: SERIOUSLY?
CA: she cares about you a lot kar
CA: i mean just look at this wwhole thing wwith her an ter
CA: they used to be like best fuckin friends right
CA: but noww things are all tense betwween them
CA: an the wwhole reason for it is cause ter wwont stop houndin you on these memos an shit and neps afraid shes hurtin your feelins
CG: REALLY?
CG: THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON FOR IT?
CA: pretty much
CA: i wwish i could say i wwas contributin more to the conflict betwween em but id be lyin
CA: ter doesnt really givve a shit howw much nep lays into me she finds the wwhole thing kinda hilarious
CG: WOW.
CG: AND THAT'S THE WOMAN YOU CHOSE TO BE YOUR MATESPRIT.
CA: hey i dont blame her
CA: frankly i think neps blackrom game is kinda hilarious too
CA: she isnt the most skilled insultramarine but she makes up for it wwith sheer spunk
CG: OKAY
CG: IF YOU EVER MENTION NEPETA AND SPUNK IN THE SAME SENTENCE AGAIN, I'M BLOCKING YOU.
CA: hahahaha
CA: wwhatevver thats not wwhat i meant an you knoww it
CG: YEAH, BUT STILL
CG: IT'S JUST A LITTLE WEIRD TO EVEN APPROACH TALKING ABOUT HER LIKE
CG: WELL, YOU KNOW, LIKE THAT.
CA: oh come on kar shes a growwn wwoman
CA: a wwoman wwith a damn fine set a curvves if you dont mind my sayin
CG: NO, SEE, I DO MIND YOU SAYING.
CG: THIS WHOLE TOPIC JUST SEEMS REALLY CREEPY TO ME.
CA: kar please
CA: im her kismesis an youre vvyin to be her matesprit
CA: is it really so strange that wwe might talk about just howw physically attractivve she is
CG: WELL
CG: NO, I GUESS NOT
CG: BUT STILL, IT'S JUST
CG: I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT OF HER AS ANYTHING BUT A WIGGLER BEFORE
CG: BUT RECENTLY, SHE JUST SEEMS
CG: SHE SEEMS REALLY FUCKING HOT, HONESTLY.
CA: i knoww right
CA: wwomans got a derriere you could break cinder blocks on
CG: SERIOUSLY!
CG: LIKE, WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
CG: WHEN DID NEPETA BECOME SO GODDAMN *FINE*???
CA: shes been that wway for a wwhile kar
CA: honestly i saww it back wwhen i first met her on lowwaa
CA: an you called me crazy
CA: wwell wwhos the crazy one noww kar
CA: wwhos the crazy one noww
CG: OKAY, FINE, I'LL ADMIT IT.
CG: NEPETA WAS PROBABLY JUST AS PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE TWO OR THREE WEEKS AGO AS SHE IS NOW.
CG: BUT I STILL THINK IT WAS A CREEP MOVE TO GO AFTER HER.
CA: hey im not denyin that
CA: im just sayin
CA: i called it
CG: WHATEVER.
CG: ANYWAY, EVEN IF SHE IS PHYSICALLY THE SAME AS SHE WAS BACK THEN, I STILL THINK SHE'S BECOME MORE ATTRACTIVE SOMEHOW.
CG: MAYBE IT'S JUST A PSYCHOLOGICAL THING.
CG: OR MAYBE IT'S THOSE GOOFY CLOTHES KANAYA KEEPS MAKING FOR HER.
CA: thats a distinct possibility right there
CA: i mean that ratty old trenchcoat a hers concealed a lot a the goods
CA: noww that that fine posterier a hers is allowwed to be on display the wway god intended the vview has improvved significantly
CG: GOD, I KNOW.
CG: I MEAN, I REALIZE THIS PROBABLY SOUNDS CREEPY, BUT
CG: SHE HAS A *REALLY* NICE BUTT.
CA: youre preachin to the choir my friend
CA: it feels just as good as it looks trust me
CA: firm but not too firm yknoww
CA: like steel wwrapped in vvelvvet
CG: OKAY
CG: THAT'S A LITTLE TOO MUCH CREEPY FOR ME.
CA: im just SAYIN its one of her strongest features
CA: especially since shes got no vvestigial thoracic brucite glands to speak of
CG: WELL, YEAH, BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THOSE.
CG: WE ALL KNOW WHAT'S BELOW THE WAIST IS WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.
CA: noww see kar this is part a wwhy wwere such good friends
CA: wwevve both got our priorities straight
CA: any distinguished lady or gentleman knowws the rump is all that matters
CA: an youvve got good taste too
CA: neps got a fine booty
CA: ters got a fine booty
CA: hell evven youvve got a fine booty
CG: OKAY, WOW, NO.
CG: YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE TOO FAR.
CG: WHEN YOU START TALKING ABOUT *MY* ASS, THAT'S IT.
CG: THE CONVERSATION IS OVER.
CA: look kar im not tryin to hit on you here or anything im just makin an observvation
CG: WELL, POINT YOUR GODDAMN OBSERVATORY SOMEWHERE ELSE, TROLLILEO.
CG: I MEAN, I'M FLATTERED AND ALL, BUT SERIOUSLY
CG: WE'VE DELVED TOO DEEP INTO BUTTCHAT, AND THE ABYSS HAS STARED BACK AT US.
CG: HONESTLY, IN RETROSPECT, THIS WHOLE DIVERSION HAS BEEN REALLY CREEPY AND OBJECTIFYING.
CA: alright alright fine
CA: sorry for tryin to pay a guy a compliment
CG: APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED.
CA: haha fine
CA: but anywway
CA: if you really are flushed for her i think you should go for it
CG: SERIOUSLY?
CG: YOU ACTUALLY THINK SHE'D WANT TO BE MY MATESPRIT?
CA: sure
CA: i dont knoww for certain that shes flushed for you too
CA: but im almost fuckin positivve
CG: YEAH, BUT
CG: IF SHE REALLY WAS
CG: WHY WOULDN'T SHE COME TO ME?
CG: I'M OBVIOUSLY RECEPTIVE HERE, I DON'T SEE WHY SHE'D PUT IT OFF.
CA: wwell you knoww howw she is
CA: shes got these stupid rules
CA: about howw she cant ship herself before she ships evverybody else
CG: WHAT?
CG: THAT'S STUPID.
CG: SHE SHOULDN'T PUT OFF HER OWN HAPPINESS JUST TO MAKE SURE EVERYBODY ELSE IS SATISFIED FIRST.
CG: THAT'S TOO SELFLESS, EVEN FOR HER.
CA: wwell
CA: maybe you should make the first movve
CG: HMMM
CG: MAYBE I SHOULD.
CG: BUT YOU REALLY THINK SHE'D GO FOR IT?
CA: she likes you kar
CA: no twwo wways about it
CG: WELL
CG: OKAY.
CG: I'LL TALK TO HER ABOUT IT.
CG: EVENTUALLY.
CA: sooner rather than later hopefully
CA: really kar youvve gotta get yourself some quadrants sometime soon
CG: YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW, BUT
CG: I DON'T WANT TO RUSH THIS.
CA: wwell fair enough
CG: AND ERIDAN?
CA: yeah
CG: PLEASE DON'T LET HER KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.
CG: I WANT TO BE THE FIRST ONE TO TELL HER.
CA: of course kar
CA: this is all in confidence remember
CG: RIGHT, I KNOW.
CG: BUT THANKS.
CA: no problem
CA: oh but kar
CA: theres probably one thing you should knoww about nep
CG: WHAT?
CA: wwell
CA: im not really sure howw exactly to say this
CA: but she has kind of a
CA: wwell
CA: a blood thing
CG: WELL, YEAH, OF COURSE SHE DOES WITH YOU.
CG: YOU'RE HER KISMESIS, YOU GUYS ARE PRACTICALLY OBLIGATED TO GET INTO WEIRD BLOOD STUFF.
CA: no i mean
CA: evven for blackrom shes really wweirdly into it
CA: like she does some really bizarre shit wwith it kar
CA: tastin it and playin wwith it and makin little drawwings wwith it
CA: an ivve read some of her fiction so i knoww she doesnt havve any compunction lettin that kinda thing bleed into the redder quadrants
CA: heh pun not intended
CG: UH
CG: SERIOUSLY?
CA: yeah
CA: i knoww youvve got this wwhole thing wwith your blood so i figured i should let you knoww
CG: FUCK.
CG: I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT.
CG: I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SHE'D REACT IF SHE KNEW WHAT COLOR MY BLOOD WAS.
CA: wwell
CA: if she really likes you it shouldnt make a difference should it
CG: MAYBE NOT
CG: BUT WHAT IF IT DOES?
CA: look i wwouldnt wworry about it too much
CA: wwherevver it falls on the spectrum she probably wwont care
CG: UGH.
CG: THAT'S NOT REALLY REASSURING, BUT THANKS FOR TRYING.
CA: thats the best i can do i guess
CG: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
CG: BUT ANYWAY
CG: I'M GLAD THINGS ARE COOL BETWEEN US.
CA: of course kar
CA: wwere friends
CA: wwere not to let a couple girls get in the wway a that
CG: OF COURSE.
CG: ANYWAY, THANKS FOR HEARING ME OUT.
CA: sure thing kar
CA: im glad wwe actually got a chance to talk about all this shit
CA: i mean
CA: romance is hard
CA: but wwe dont havve to go at it alone
CG: YEAH
CG: I GUESS NOT.
CA: anywway if you evver wwant to talk ill be here
CG: I APPRECIATE IT.
CG: ANYWAY, I SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING.
CA: wwell alright then
CA: good luck wwith your thing wwith nep
CG: YEAH, THANKS.
CG: I'D WISH YOU LUCK ON SOMETHING, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE ALL OF IT ALREADY.
CA: haha
CA: wwell i appreciate the sentiment regardless
CG: SURE.
CG: ANYWAY, BYE, ERIDAN.
CA: see you later kar
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA].