Archive of Our Own

There was no definitive answer as to when things began between Karl and Sapnap. Or, even, what things were between them. Answers to questions they were too scared to ask, they presumed.

But Karl liked to amuse himself by believing all stories have a beginning, a middle, and an end, and there is certainly a story to tell, so a beginning should be found.

Nobody heard Sapnap when he was sitting in the corridor, since there was no reason to. Plenty of freshmen got homesick, and there was no distinction between those crying in their dorms, and the ones blasting music into their airpods around the building.

To Karl though, it didn’t matter. Anyone that looked remotely worried became his top priority, and Sapnap definitely did look it.

The music was so loud Karl could hear every lyric clear as day.

So he took a place cross-legged next to the boy, then tapped his shoulder gently to get his attention.

“Hey.” He offered up warmly.

“Hi.” It sounded weak. Like words forced out of someone held hostage; Karl wasn’t having that.

“What’s up?”

“Not my dad. Said he’s never coming up to visit me. Apparently it's none of his business what I do here.”

Taken aback, Karl patted the other person’s shoulder. His mom hadn’t stopped fussing over him from the day he left for college, constantly texting to make sure he had a toothbrush or a hoodie. Never once had anything he did not be her business. The sheer idea of that made him upset.

Understanding how much of a hit to take that must’ve been came easy, and he put an arm around this person. “What’s your name?”

“People tend to call me Sapnap, but I don’t know why it bothers you. Or why any of this bothers you.”

“It just does. Don’t wanna see you upset and not know if I can help. Also I’m Karl. Jacobs.”

“Pretty.” Sapnap mumbled, before handing Karl one of his airpods. Silently, Karl took the small earpiece and allowed the music to fill his ears.

“Dude, that is ridiculously loud!”

Sapnap, for the first time around Karl, laughed. It was a cheerful laugh, like petals coiled around his head as he ran around playing in a cornfield. Karl immediately became fond of it. That was a sound he wanted to hear as often as he could.

About an hour into their listening session, having talked themselves sick and gotten to know each other pretty well, Karl headed back to his dorm. Noticing where he was headed, Sapnap grinned slyly. “We’re neighbors, y’know.”

Karl matched his smile suddenly, and turned to face him. “Who’s your roommate?”

“Dream.”

Giggling, Karl announced, “Mine’s George. Looks like we’re gonna see a lot more of each other at this rate.”

“I’ve known both of them for years, so yeah, knowing them, I’m sure we are.”

~~~~~~~~~

George was fumbling around the kitchen with all the cabinets open when a bleary eyed Karl approached him. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Well, in theory, cooking for hanging out with someone. Not that that's going to plan.”

Despite wanting to be an accommodating roommate, Karl found himself chuckling under his breath. “A hangout, huh? By any chance is Mr Dream going to be making himself comfy here?”

George almost choked on the apple he was eating with a start. “Well- the thing is- listen, I won’t invite him here if it makes you uncomfortable or anything, but-”

“Don’t worry,” Karl gave him a hearty grin, “just don’t have sex on my bed or anything.”

Still a little fidgety, George nodded in agreement. “I feel like I’d be lucky if this even becomes a date. It’s pathetic, in all honesty. Our other friend’s coming over and everything. I’m willing to bet on whether Sapnap or I become the most uncomfortable. Who’ll be more of a third wheel to the date that isn’t?”

Suddenly, at the sound of Dream’s roommate, Karl’s ears pricked up. “Sapnap?”

Absentmindedly, George hummed in affirmation. “Yeah. I am best friends with him, but it’s not really helping my date case. Why?”

Smirking to himself, Karl shook his head. “Oh nothing, just spoke to him the other day.”

“Yeah, he’s nice enough when he wants to be.”

“He is.”

With a barely hidden giggle, George continued to get the food ready for his date, while Karl thought out how to have a conversation with someone when your friends are on a date of their own.

Several hours later, George had pulled something together that looked vaguely edible, and welcomed Dream into his and Karl’s room with an embarrassed tone. Being the seemingly smitten nice guy he was, Dream was having none of it, talking about the food as if it wasn’t slightly charred and chewy.

Deciding not to dedicate the whole evening to mocking the pair, Karl found Sapnap curled up in himself on an armchair, and led him away to his room as an escape from all the romance.

“They’re so sappy, dude.” Sapnap announced out of the blue, before flopping onto Karl’s purple cushioned desk chair with a dramatic huff.

“Hello to you too, Sap.”

Sapnap looked up like a whip. “Sorry, yeah, hi to you too. Should’ve started it with that.”

“No problem.” Carefully, Karl maneuvered his firebird orange bean bag so it was next to Sapnap by the desk. “Anything changed with your dad?”

Sighing, Sapnap gave Karl a pout. It was a little cute, he had to admit. “Nothing yet, honestly. Thought maybe he’d try and be involved with my life now he doesn’t have to drive me places and fight with my mom over housing and shit, but apparently not. My step mom’s been trying to show him sense though.”

His grin widened slightly at the mention of his stepmom, something Karl was beyond glad to see. “So she’s on your side?”

“Always is, basically. She’s awesome though, and makes me the greatest dinners whenever I’m ‘round at theirs.” That only widens his smile, and the both of them chuckle a little.

“I’m sure he’ll come around.”

“He probably won’t, but it’s alright. You’re here, that sorta makes up for it.”

Despite having sworn to himself nothing about this was weird, Karl knew his face was a little pink tinged when Sapnap gave him a judgemental look, before turning on his computer.

“Woah, there!” Karl giggled, as he moved the keyboard from his friend’s grip, “I don’t think that’s how personal belongings work!”

“Well, guests get privileges!”

“Not when it’s my computer!”

“What’s your password?”

“1-9-0-7- Sapnap is a dumb idiot!”

“C’mon, dude!”

“No, let me do it!” Hastily, he snatched the mouse from Sapnap’s firm grasp on it and logged on. “Honestly!”

Sapnap paused for a second, and pointed at Karl's nails. “They’re purple?”

Ready for a tense conversation, Karl nodded. Instead, Sapnap just hummed in understanding and started to stare at his own nails. “I don’t think I’d suit it honestly.”

As he set up Netflix, Karl turned to face the guy. In all honesty, he couldn’t imagine anything that wouldn't suit Sapnap. A beanie, nail polish, flannels, big leather boots. Hell, he could probably even pull off a trash bag. He just had soft enough facial features, and a shy cuteness. Nothing could really change that.

Snapping himself out of thoughts like that, since most straight guys tended not to imagine how their friends would suit everything, he gestured to the screen. “Whatcha wanna watch?”

Pondering for a few seconds, Sapnap noticed something. “Dude, why is one of your last watched shows Miraculous Ladybug?”

Shit, he should’ve thought this one through better. Deciding to lie through his teeth, Karl justified it with his younger brother’s “childish watching habits”. Being fourteen, Sean possibly would’ve watched it if he wasn’t obsessed with Marvel, he argued internally.

“I sense bullshit, but it’s not even that bad a show.”

“You like it?”

“Uh, yeah, sorta.”

“Okay but like, they’re sort of a ship, right?”

“Whatever you say, Jacobs.”

Into the night, the two binge watched the entire first twelve episodes of the show, making commentary and laughing until they cried throughout. By the time George walked in to let them know the hangout was over (and the two were still platonically involved only), Karl was curled into Sapnap’s chest on he bean bag with a resolute grin.

“How is it that I schedule a date with my oblivious best friend of fifteen years and nothing happens, but you guys met the other day, and are already acting like a couple?”

Sapnap rolled his eyes, slowly pulling Karl’s head from his stomach. “George, it’s not my fault you’re a disaster bisexual. And we’re both straight, right Karl?”

Whenever he thought about it, that was always his answer. So now, when he was staring at Sapnap, was he beginning to doubt that?

“Um- yeah, and asexual.”

Sapnap nodded, and George raised an eyebrow. “Whatever you say. Give it a week and you’ll have the historian treatment.” He cleared his throat at the furious look Sapnap gave him. “Anyways, best you and Dream go back to your dorm, it’s almost midnight.”

Begrudgingly, Sapnap clambered up to his feet, allowing himself to laugh when Karl whined at his absence besides him.

“Jacobs, I need sleep.”

“Why not sleep here then?”

“Because I have places to be, you nimrod.”

“Sure you do, Mr Extrovert.”

With warm smiles and joking insults, Dream and Sapnap left the dorm, as both its occupants slid into their armchairs with a sigh.

“How’s that heteroromanticism going, then?” George whispered.

“Shut up, or tell me how being in love with your childhood best friend is going.”

Both snorted amusedly at their situations before heading to bed. Karl was confused, but on the bright side, nothing could’ve brought him down from his high.

Sapnap’s chest had been blazing hot, like the embers of a flame. Roaring laughter licking up Karl’s insides and bringing him along into the fire to laugh along with. The sensation of being close to him was a burning one. He liked it, Karl thought. He could get used to it.

He could hear Sapnap’s heart there, steadily beating, and hoped his own mimicked it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Never mind Sapnap, he decided one early morning. He was straight. That was something he’d stand by. It just made sense.

However, he realised they shared a seminar that very morning, so processing that information became a little harder when he was staring at the back of a curly haired head for two hours.

With a kind greeting, Karl sat down behind his friend, and was taken aback when he realised in his own panic he’d managed to forget a pen.

“Hey, Sap,” he whispered, but the sound still caused Sapnap to jump slightly, then turn his head around, “would you happen to have a spare pen?”

“Uh yeah, here.” it was passed up to him, and he made a harsh reminder to himself that he owed Sapnap.

As though he were transparent, Sapnap witnessed the guilt unfurl on Karl’s face and groaned. “Christ, Jacobs, calm down, it’s a pen. Anyways, I’m pretty sure I owe you anyway, for listening to music with me and cheering me up by just being there.”

Karl shot him an inquisitive look. “I cheered you up that day?”

“Pretty obviously, yeah. You better give yourself more credit, Karl, you’re a damn good person if I’ve ever seen one.”

A damn good person. He rather liked that.

“Thanks dude.” The entire rest of the lesson was lost to thoughts of friendship, and various other pictures Karl painted with the brush of his mind. The lecturer’s ramblings became a white noise machine, and Karl cursed himself for not paying attention, but wasn’t really annoyed. The brief conversations he and Sapnap interspersed during it were enough to make up for his missing education. At least to him.

After the lecture, and another one just after lunch neither had in common, they walked together to Sapnap’s dorm, since Dream was with George and Quackity next door. Without realising, Karl wrapped his pinky finger around the other man’s, and failed to notice the slight wobble in Sapnap’s footsteps following that too.

When they were sitting on the sofa, Sapnap grabbed them a monster can each, while Karl babbled about just about anything under the Sun.

In the late Autumn chill, they gathered together under a blanket, limbs tangled together while they watched Friends.

Arm draped casually around Sapnap’s shoulder, Karl had just finished his rant about Ross, when Chandler and Monica were revealed to have slept together.

“Jesus Christ!” He exclaimed, gripping Sapnap’s shoulder blades fiercely.

“You didn’t know they ge-sleep together? God Karl, I’ve never watched a full episode in my life and even I knew that one.”

“Shut up! I think it’s cute. They had the whole thing of Chandler being a good boyfriend last season, it makes sense.”

Some things, to Karl, worked. Like when, in the following episodes, Chandler and Monica began to see more than friendship in one another. And how his head was comfortably leaning on Sapnap’s shoulder as he watched. There just never had to be an explanation, because there wasn’t a need for one.

So when his fingers went from drumming excitedly on Sapnap’s knees to holding his hand, and Sapnap had his free hand on Karl’s thigh, neither of them had the energy nor the reason to question anything.

Straight guys being friends. That was all it was, and all it was ever going to be.

“Pregnancy looks painful.” Karl winced at the sight of Phoebe’s face. Sapnap simply hummed, knowing full well he wasn’t paying half as much attention to the screen as his friend. Instead, his eyes were trained on Karl, who looked so happy. Like a puppy, when you gave it a squeaky toy for the first time. Eyes all big and round with inquisitiveness, and upbeat. Barely closing their eyes or stopping their movement for a moment.

Endearing, Sapnap thought. All of Karl was. From his scruffy dark hair sticking out at angles defying gravity, to his sing-song tone even at the worst times, right down to the saccharine giggles that escaped his soft lips.

Friends probably weren’t supposed to call their friends lips soft, or lush, or pink. Or perfect to kiss. But, in fairness to him, plenty of straight guys made out with their best friends. And Dream had managed to be in fifteen relationships, yet never fully gotten over George. Things were just funny like that. There was probably no issue.

Probably.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The blistering sun had faded into a cool pink expanse, drenching Karl in pinklight. Lurking on the roof wasn’t an unusual thing for him, almost a tradition in the five weeks since he’d begun his college experience. Alone. Just him and the sunset. As he enjoyed it being.

Until a shadow appeared in front of him, and a figure behind. Instinctively, Karl waved behind him, sensing the friendliness in the footsteps of the other person. “I knocked on your door, and George said this was where you spent evenings,” Sapnap whispered, as if the moment was so fragile it would shatter if he raised his voice even slightly, “I was wondering if I could join you? I won’t be too loud!”

Karl beckoned Sapnap over to where he hand flung his legs against the railing, hanging over it as his back fell onto the floor. Mimicking his position, Sapnap finally tore his glance from Karl to notice the chilling strawberry painting the sky. He swallowed, turning to face Karl once again, as he started to list off things.

“Y’know, they say Venus is the first star to appear at night, and the last to disappear in the morning. Guess it’s time to test that theory.”

“Whatever you say. Jacobs.” was the response he got, but Sapnap’s eyes seemed to trail his every movement all the same. Karl found it oddly mesmerising.

In a gap between conversation, the stars had begun to dance across the sky, waltzing into the eyeview with an elegance Karl only wished humans could possess. Up there, it always was perfect, a ballroom of Suns celebrating their light across the galaxy. Peace among their own, a certain freedom he couldn’t put a word on.

“It’s beautiful, Sap, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is,” came the mumbled reply. Although he’d promised himself not to, Karl saw the way that as he responded, he never actually looked to where Karl had pointed enthusiastically. Instead, his eyes remained trained on the boy lain in front of him, basking in the early night glow.

“Which Greek God created the stars?”

That took Karl out of his daze. “You like Greek Mythology?”

Sapnap chuckled, low and hearty. “In small doses. George is a little obsessed. So, who conjured them up, smart boy?”

Liking the nickname, Karl giggled in return. Who was it? He knew, that was certain. Hours of pouring through Percy Jackson books, rereading children’s versions of the Odyssey, and even once finding himself enjoying the Song of Achilles, Karl knew his stuff on the subject. Norse and Roman history intrigued him too, almost as much, but as a kid, he’d always wished to be an Olympian. Son of Hermes or Chronos, in Half Blood Camp with all the other rejects, at home.

“Oh, they have a lotta star stories for all of them. Most of which I actually don’t know. But I think the goddess of the Stars is the daughter of two Titans. Asteria, I think her name was.”

In a trancelike state of Sapnap’s creation, Karl nudged his hand towards the other’s, allowing him to intertwine their fingers over the themselves interwoven stars. One shot past them at lightning speed, and they both hummed in excitement.

“What are you wishing for?” Sapnap asked.

“Can’t tell you, then it wouldn’t happen!”

“Whatever you say, pretty boy.”

Blushing up at the purpled and bruised sky, beginning to fade to a humble navy, Karl knew exactly what he had wished for, with all the confidence he had left.

For his eyes to be Sapnap’s home like the sky and Sapnap’s own to be his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Halloween knocked on Karl and George’s door in the form of a few people, all in various states of fancy dress. Most looked only slightly more dead than they did every other day in college. Without commenting on that however, Karl gracefully led them all into the living room with the widest smile he could muster.

Frankly, he was very proud of his costume, having never thought he’d do Halloween again after turning sixteen. But his favourite holiday had brought a new opportunity in the form of Sapnap. After realising how willing Sapnap was to go along with it, Karl made a silent decision that it would be an annual tradition. If Sapnap even knew him by the end of college. Hopefully he would.

Somehow, he resisted the urge to burst out into hysterical laughter at the sight of his friend in a full on Tails outfit. At least he’d gone for it. Not that Karl hadn’t. He made a very good Sonic the Hedgehog, he wanted to believe.

Side-stepping George’s “period-accurate” Jekyll chatting animatedly to Dream’s Hyde, Karl approached Sapnap on light feet.

“You’ll pay for this, Sonic!” Through giggles, Sapnap met him in the middle of the room with a brush of hands.

“You’re too slow!” Finally giving into his chuckles, Karl interlocked his arm with Sapnap’s before leading him over to the sofa, where a couple others were gathered.

“Oooooh!” Quackity cooed over at them, “Looks like Karl and Sappitus are doing a couple’s costume!”

“And a very classy one at that!” Puffy yelled from across the room, nodding at the hedgehog attire.

“Karl, I’d take a leaf out of your fashion book any time!” Connor smirked.

Ignoring all of their friends being idiotic as usual, the two collapsed onto the cushions in the middle of a circle of people, all gossiping about something or other Karl feigned interest in.

When it came to it, his interest only fell onto the person sitting in front of him in what looked bizarrely like a vibrant yellow fursuit. Maybe that was strange. Maybe he shouldn’t have been curling his lips around concepts he hadn’t even voiced to himself before, and that was dangerous.

Maybe Hallow’s Eve wasn't supposed to be when reality came to.

So Karl made the decision it wasn’t going to.

About an hour into the event, Karl was past the point where he could call himself tipsy. By the looks of it, he wasn’t alone. Even George and Dream looked dazed, still curled up in their corner of the universe discussing Mary Shelly and CaptainSparklez simultaneously.

On instinct, he caught the glass Sapnap dropped. Or at least it seemed that way. He didn’t want wine dripping down his blue tassel costume. Least of all sticking his socks to his already sweaty skin. It was an unpleasant sight, Karl covered in Sapnap’s spilt drink, unable to celebrate the victory of not letting it smash too.

“Um-” Sapnap spluttered, failing to find words, “Karl, sorry- uh, well-”

“Shut up! I’m not a baby, I’ll just grab a towel.”

He made his way to the bathroom. Footsteps echoed behind him on the journey, no doubt his friend’s. By the time he was kneeled down, wetting the ragged thing in the sink, the figure of the strange Texan boy he’d adopted into his life loomed over him ominously.

“If it helps, you look like no more of an idiot than you have all night.”

“I know. I suggested the costumes for a reason.”

Sapnap snorted in faint amusement. “So it wasn’t just because you grew up as a nerd watching shitty cartoons of animals fighting mustached men-”

“Hey! That’s harsh.”

“Is it wrong though?” His words had no audible bite in them whatsoever, but Karl felt blood rush up his neck anyway. Clamping a hand to the surge, he had the idea that maybe he was flustered. Again, no. Not the sort of things he wanted to deal with.

Scrubbing at the wine-speckled fur clump, Karl began to hum a tune to himself. One he wasn’t sure he had heard in many years. There had been a time where he and his siblings had snuggled up to their mom as she sung songs, and told stories of far off lands. His favourite story was easy, he was always intrigued with the idea of Jack and the Beanstalk. Wondering about how the beans were created, what was in them and why the giant was so angry had become a nostalgic memory. When she sang, though, it was as if the songs bled into each other a little. All moonbeam laughs and honeydew tones.

If he had to put his finger on the one that had resolutely crawled under his skin without permission nor mention, he forgot to. But, as he began to verbalise the tune, with lyrics he didn’t even think he knew anymore, it became clear to him all over again.

“Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my Ma and Pa.”

Home.

What had brought him and Sapnap together, he thought with fondness.

Water dripped down his pruney fingers as he wound the sink to a close, still singing the song under his breath. By then, he had caught Sapnap’s attention. Yet he barely acknowledged it, walking towards his room to avoid the crowd, lyrics still on his tongue when he collapsed onto his bed, with Sapnap at his heels.

Suddenly, another voice joined his, raspy and gentle. “Home is wherever I’m with you.”

Briefly, their eyes met, and Karl could’ve sworn a confession was hidden in that gaze, but he tugged at the thought with a vigour.

“Home,
Let me come home,
Home is wherever I’m with you.”

And, if he had looked hard enough, there was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sapnap barreled into his own dorm the moment he knew Dream was there too, already feeling his pulse rising concerningly.

If anyone could help, it had to be his brother. Or, at least, the closest he had to one.

He only had to knock once, curtly, to get a familiar “It’s open, Sap!”, in Dream’s usual warm tone. Sapnap knew how much more joyous his best friend had been ever since George had joined them, and he somewhat shared the feeling. At the least, he understood it. George was awesome, and him and Dream had a connection, whatever that meant. Hopefully, Dream would recognise what he felt reflected in Sapnap and offer something useful.

“Hey dude, how was the party for y-” he faltered, stuttering on his own words, “you’re crying.”

Wordlessly, Sapnap sniffled, rubbing his eyes with his fluffy sleeve. “Oh, am I?”

In spite of the tenseness in his brother’s stature, Dream snorted derisively. “Yeah, unless you have really bad hay fever or something.” After a brief pause, he tapped on his vermillion bed so Sapnap could join him, muttering, “What’s up?” just loud enough for the other to hear.

“My idiocy levels, apparently.”

“Stop talking like a smart guy. Explain it to me with normal English.”

Groaning at how annoying Dream was, Sapnap flopped himself against him, trying to control his breathing and instead drawing it to a miserable halt. “I was.”

“Well, do it humanely now-”

“Fine, alright! Okay, so uh, you know the party?”

“I did just leave it, so yeah, I think so.”

“Well then, it really hit me. While I was just talking to him.”

Dream looked at him like he needed to expand, so he cooperated. “Karl. You know him, George’s roommate? Handsome guy, pretty tall, just wore the Sonic costume with me. Has these vivid green eyes? You’d recognise him based purely on them, I think. Pretty long hair. Not like, long long. But long enough to stand out. A sorta chestnut brown? Sweepy. Wavy, even. I think I’m rambling about him. He’s cute, okay? Dream, put me out of my misery, because he’s awesome, and funny, and he showed me fucking Miraculous Ladybug because-”

“Chill, Sap, breathe.”

Quietly, Sapnap adhered, slowly inhaling and exhaling to the rhythm of the song he and Karl had sung mere hours before.

“Being around him, it reminds me of the forest we used to go to whenever you visited me when we were younger. Like, I’ve planted the roots of my own soul in the ground, to grow in every direction. I’m safe, enveloped, if you get what I mean. In a not pretentious way, I think the roots are, well, rooted.” After a shallow gulp and a sob he tried to muffle in a cough, he added, “He showed me the whole fucking sky at night. Like George, but stranger, somehow. He’s- he’s far too interesting for me.”

Watching his friend slowly devolve back into hysterical tears, Dream’s face was overtaken by pondering wisdom. He knew George had always been the one who wielded the English language like a weapon. But Sapnap didn’t need intellect, or metaphors to add beauty to the mundane, he needed advice. As his brother, Dream knew he was the only one able to provide.

“Frankly, I have no idea what you mean, Sap. You’re my coolest friend, remember? Whatever George and I- our history might be longer than yours, but you are so different from him in the best way. If Karl can’t see that, he’s not worth the trouble, nor the apparent sexuality crisis.” Chuckling at his own joke, Dream only laughed more at the sight of his best friend’s frustration burning at his neck. “He sounds sweet, though. Don’t let him go, whatever you feel.”

Sapnap’s quivering hands met his neck. “I don’t want to.”

Dream grinned at him. “Good. Maybe try and figure out if he likes you, or just spend some more time around him. I haven’t seen you this happy in a while.” Dream’s voice lowered cautiously, “The face you made earlier reminded me of myself. How much do you like him?”

That was something Sapnap was still trying to wrap his head around. Five weeks ago, he had been happily straight, and single. What the hell had become of him, and why was the feeling so strangely exciting?

“Way too much.”

“Alright then, time you learn what that means!”

“How will I know?”

“If he feels like home. To me, that’s when you know.”

It went without saying why Dream knew. With them, he didn’t have to say it, Sapnap was well aware Dream had fallen in love with George many years ago, he’d just never admit it without the words evoking bile on his tongue. They had known each other since the sky was blue, and that feeling was their home. Karl, he was new. The smell of fresh parchment as it was pressed into ink on a Summer’s morning. Karl was the sea at the edge of an undiscovered shore.

What was home to him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karl couldn’t find a way around it.

There were seven Monsters in the fridge, George was demanding he get rid of all of them by the end of the day (something about the smell), and he was already on a slight sugar rush from guzzling down a packet of skittles before his computer science and videography classes.

Taking every class physically possible and then a few more was the worst idea he’d had in a while, in retrospect. It was just going to be chaotic fun. Now he was going to have to invite over one of his closest and only friends to guzzle down energy drinks and marathon shitty romcoms.

Not that the latter part bothered him too much. Just being around Sapnap in three different classes- it was a little overwhelming. So many undesired thoughts trailed his journeys through campus by then, and he was beginning to miss being around the man whenever his company was lost to the excessive amount of classes Karl had signed up for.

So he’d done the second most logical thing and asked the resident wallflower nerd, Charlie. Nobody really knew who the guy was, he was just everywhere, seemingly at once. A strange, attentive, slightly stupid sophomore who took far too many classes to be physically and mentally alive. Everybody had met him, and he seemed to remember all of them.

“Hey Charlie!” Karl had announced, approaching him on the bench he was hastily studying on.

“Karl! From… everywhere?” There was barely a class they didn’t have together, and the thought alone brought Karl to fits of giggles. The greeting, Charlie in general, was bizarre, and he adored it.

“So Charlie, I was wondering, by any chance would you know a lot about Sapnap?”

“Sapnap from Texas?”

“Yep! That one. Would he happen to have ever mentioned me, or stared at me, or anything?”

By the astounded look on his face, Karl could tell the man hadn’t before been actually talked to. More of an oddity, an answer book, or just someone to laugh with. Charlie’s face screwed up in concentration, and Karl wondered how the cogs in his brain turned. With all of the thinking he must’ve done, Karl wouldn’t be surprised if he was reduced to goop.

“Oh yeah, a couple of times. Asked me almost eleven weeks ago what classes you have, and six and a half weeks ago if I knew who was going to be at your halloween, and if you had already planned a costume with anyone. I knew you were wanting to do one with him. He came to me twenty five days ago to ask if you always looked tired by lunchtime. Um, then seventeen days ago, he asked if you’d ever mentioned him to me, to which I said no, because you hadn’t. He seemed disappointed. And twice in the last two weeks. The first time was to ask if you had Christmas plans. I think you said you were going to see your mom. And, the other time, yesterday, to see when your next free period is. Which is in three hours, right?”

“A-” Karl stuttered, half wishing that, with the pace his brain was whirring, he was on his meds again. “Charlie, that was a few more than a couple times.”

Innocently, blissfully unaware of the confused revelation of his friend, Charlie beamed. “Sorry, my bad. Yeah, he doesn’t really talk to me about anything but Texas, computers and you. Funny, right?”

Huffing out his frustration, Karl mustered a weak smile in return. “Yep, real humorous.”

Well, it was safe to say he was in a bit of a conundrum.

That was three days ago. Now, he was sat in an armchair, sending Sapnap a text to invite him over so they could drink energy drinks together in high amounts, and time had failed to give him answers.

Maybe he should’ve just asked. But ‘Hey Sap, are you really straight, or crushing on me and in denial? Oh hey, also I was lying and I’m definitely gay or something’ didn’t feel like the right approach to any conversation.

Within several minutes, Sapnap was at his door, and in his hands rested a packet of chips so large it made him look like a gremlin in comparison. “Hey Jacobs, what’s up?” The way his voice dragged itself over the a in his last name somewhat satisfied the burning feeling under his chest, and he let the other in graciously.

George hadn’t yet noticed, still fast asleep as usual, having stayed up until the Sun had been buried six feet under, on call with Dream. Karl had heard it through the wall. Giggling, ramblings about authors whose names Karl couldn’t remember the second George had stopped pronouncing them. Unlike him, Dream seemed hooked on every syllable, responding with stories of their childhood together, and other things. Even Karl had heard George’s squawk at being compared to a MineCraft mushroom in nature. Karl had to agree. He liked Dream. Whatever him and George had, it was what kept them going. In the mornings, when George had finally gained reality, he would bring up to Karl the funniest or most interesting things Dream had said the night before. Sapnap had recalled Dream doing something similar.

Regardless, Karl saw it. The way George’s eyes lit up whenever he heard his best friend’s name, the pacing of his dorm before he visited, pitching important texts he would send Dream to Karl first, just to ensure he had written them eloquently and kindly enough (he always had). Undeniably, George was helplessly in love, and everyone else could see it. Even George knew, and he knew it was both ways. Nothing slipped past him, George. Karl respected it. He wondered idly if George had noticed whatever he was feeling for Sapnap.

“Only my amount of energy drinks to get rid off. Welcome, Mr Sapnap.”

A quick wink later, Sapnap had settled into Karl’s usual armchair, soft leather hugging him for warmth. Something told Karl he was supposed to be mad, but he just couldn’t pretend the sight was anything but endearing. Throwing caution to the wind, he huffed, perching on the arm of the seat as a compromise. “That’s my seat.”

A sly smile spread across Sapnap’s face. “Oh, trust me, I know.” Karl had gotten to know the other man well enough to realise what he was playing at. This was a challenge. Sapnap was daring him to respond. Knowing Karl, that was playing with a temptress too desirable for his own good.

Like alcohol, he took a swig of his mango can, before slipping himself onto the main seat of the chair. Or, more specifically, the lap of his friend. Which was exactly what he had meant to do. It was also the worst idea he could ever remember having. The shocked silence following was enough to prove that. What, he thought, had happened to not being overly confident and way too cocky for his own good?

“Uh, Jacobs,” Sapnap’s voice had lowered, soft as silk, like it was made for that moment, “I’m not exactly a seat?”

Ignoring him, Karl took the chips from Sapnap’s pale hands and took a bite out of one. Revelling in the way Sapnap’s look of indignance was fading the longer he had Karl there, he put on the first rom-com he could think of. It was admittedly one of the best ones. When Harry Met Sally. Two best friends falling in love over the course of many years. Just perfect for his current predicament, he guessed.

Like it had basically every single time, there was barely any time gone before the two were holding hands, and Sapnap’s hands idly played with Karl’s hair, occasionally complimenting its fluffiness. “No, Sap, it’s just because I don’t wear eight in one shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, body wash, sun tan lotion, motor oil, toothpaste, skin cream and deodorant, unlike some heathens.”

“Jacobs, first of all that was nine. Second of all, how dare you! I get my motor oil from good ol’ Texan barbecue sauce, I’ll have you know.”

Unfalteringly, the two burst out into simultaneous, hysterical laughter. Inseparable. That was what George had told Karl they had become a few days before. He preferred tethered together, but it sounded too pretentious.

The film went by like a haze, drenched in spilled Monster and prolonged eye contact. As the end credits rolled, it occurred to Karl that he was still in Sapnap’s lap. And then, more weird still, Sapnap’s hands had seemingly unconsciously wrapped around Karl’s waist. They were sat like a couple, they could both see it.

“So Karl, in the film, they say no guy and girl can be best friends without falling in love?”

Karl was dazed, still hanging onto the tautness in Sap’s voice, “Yeah?”

“What d'you think? You reckon best friends can avoid ever liking one another?”

There was no denying it then. The strain on Sapnap’s voice, as if he were stopping himself from saying something he might grow to regret. A confession, Karl’s antagonistic hope whispered.

“Depends, I guess. What’s the line between friends and more?”

“Well, on the one hand, there’s Dream and George. And on the other, there’s us.”

Knowing the implication that Dream and George were the romantic side of the spectrum and he and Sapnap the platonic, Karl fought a losing battle not to let his face fall.

“What’s wrong, Jacobs?” Sapnap eyed him expectantly. Devilish, spectral voices said that behind those mellow, dark amarillion eyes was intention. That Sapnap knew what he was doing, asking Karl stupid questions like that. Like Sapnap was daring Karl to step outside the line they had wordlessly drawn up for themselves.

Well, Karl was never one to back down. “Cat got my tongue, I guess. What about you, Sap?”

A little scowl. Faint, but noticeable. They had started playing a game. Russian roulette of who had to take the bullet of their tension. Neither wanted to make a wrong spin.

“Just wondering. I mean, they were really close near the end. Reminds me of… real life stuff.”

Karl walked the line, toed it. “They were pretty close.” Then he jumped the court altogether. “But what real life stuff do you mean? Like Dream and George, or us?”

That was a grave mistake.

Sapnap’s mouth fell agape. Words wrapped around his tongue, unspoken syllables choking him into silence.

One of Karl’s favourite stories had been that of Icarus. Wicker wings flying too close to the Sun. Certain to burn. As a kid, he had always believed Icarus had known the fate he would befall, and embraced it. Understood that the price of the beauty was enough to suffice. The man had been smart, hadn’t he? So he traded his life for the Sun. Karl could understand that.

“Sapnap, did you mean like us, or not?” Icarus had been right about something. The Sun was the purest way to die of all. And Karl had flown to its surface, touched it with his full palm.

“I- Karl.” Sapnap’s voice was shaking.The way he rolled the r was like it could succumb to a sob. He recognised the tone from the day they had met in a lone corridor. Sapnap had called his name pretty that day. He still said it the exact same way. Like Karl’s name on his lips would bring him closer to that same Sun Karl was hurtling downwards from. It made him wonder how Sapnap saw love.

To Karl, it was a silvery purple. Translucent, almost. A spectral thing, so that no matter how far you reached out for it, the violet hue would never meet your hand. It was courage, comfort, a warm tone to relax your eyes with. One of the colors that remained marvellous no matter how many times you saw it.

He wondered if Sapnap’s color was orange. He’d pointed out the colour once to Karl. On the roof, as they lay together witnessing the sunrise. “It covers the sky like a blanket.” his friend had muttered through sleepiness.

Did Sapnap look at Karl and feel an orange warmth pool in his throat?

“I guess I meant us, Karl.” his voice burnt down to embers, it sounded vulnerable and rushed.

“So, do you think we can stay friends and not fall in love?”

Too fucking late.

“I don’t know, Karl. I really don’t know.”

Karl put his monster down on the coffee table, relaxing in his position to turn around and face Sapnap. Carefully, with tender touches and cautious eyes, he moved Sapnap’s hair from his forehead, so their eyes could finally meet, with nothing melting but the fire in their eyes and wings on their backs.

Karl’s voice was nothing more than a reeze when it said, “Have you? Fallen in love with me?”

Three months ago, Karl had approached a freshman kid sitting on the floor, blasting music and practically begging to go home with the look in his eyes. Now, he was asking the same boy if he had fallen in love with him, with both his hands still resting on the man’s chin.

“I think so.”

Carmine lips collided with the Sun as Karl kissed Sapnap.

They brushed against each other, friction causing flames, only for several seconds. Barely enough to breathe in a fire. Or figure out if Sapnap was kissing him back.

The answer is evident when he finds burning hands around his waist, trying to bring him even closer than he already was. Nose to nose, his eyes simmering hot, Karl found himself unable to breathe.

“Jacobs?”

“Yeah.”

“You haven’t blinked in almost ten seconds.” And then, in a sofer tone, “Relax.”

“Oh. Right.”

He slowly inhaled, allowing his eyes to flutter shut. While they were, he felt Sapnap’s arms move from around his waist to trail up the back of his spine oh so gently, to eventually rest around his neck. Slowly, he was pulled into a hug. Hands brushed through his tufts of hair with a wobbly laugh. “Jesus, Jacobs. You’re so pretty.”

Karl blinked his eyes back open, and pulled his head back, so he could lock eyes with Sapnap once again. “Not particularly straight of you there, Sap.”

“Karl,” he whined, stretching out every letter of his friend’s name like he couldn’t get enough of it, “it’s not my fault. You said you were straight too!”

“Well at least when I said it, I knew I was lying.”

“Shut up.” Sapnap mumbled, before pulling Karl back into another, longer, softer, more bruising kiss.

He betrayed himself by giggling as they pulled apart, burying his head into Sapnap’s shoulders to try and muffle them.

“What’s so funny? Am I that bad of a kisser?”

Karl only laughed more, trying to dig his porcelain features further into Sapnap’s shoulder.

“No, that was actually pretty close to perfect. It’s just- we’re so dumb. We witnessed our roommates in gay denial for so long, made fun of them, then did the exact same thing!”

A gentle kiss was pressed into Karl’s hair. “At least we noticed after three months rather than five years and counting.”

“True.”

When George arrived home in the late evening, he was not expecting what he found. All but one of the seven monsters had been drained, and Karl was tucked under Sapnap’s arm on the sofa. Both were amused by something on T.V, and by the looks of it, they had just kissed.

“So, uh, I feel as if I missed something.”

Sapnap burped. “Yeah, sorta.”

“I knew you weren’t straight, Sap. See? Great gaydar! Historians' treatment in the works!”

Karl adjusted himself so he was propped up on one elbow. “Admit to Dream that you’re hopelessly in love with him and then we’ll talk, Davidson.”

With a frustrated sigh that melted into a chuckle, George walked idly off to his room. They were right, but it wasn’t as if he wanted to anytime soon.

Well hey, at least the dorm didn’t smell of putrid mango and lime anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wasn’t sure why he had done it. At least, he thought he didn’t.

Just, someone brought six cans of beer, and he had thought the height of humor would be if he shotgunned them all in the space of twenty minutes.

He wasn’t a heavy guy. He was tall enough, but he wasn’t a giant. He wasn’t overly athletic, and hadn’t played football in years, despite the odd workout. He could often be perceived as a lightweight, too.

Sapnap had arrived to the party late, and hadn’t expected to arrive and find his boyfriend in a crowd of people, alabaster skin turned a spectral white.

Luckily, Sapnap wasn’t the first one to notice Karl’s lack of usual puppy dog eyes and wide grin. Quackity had slung an arm around him (although he was beginning to topple over with the height difference), while Dream and George seemed to take turns checking in on him. Bad was draped across the sofa, bucket in hand. All four looked impressed, but slightly careworn. Sapnap didn’t blame them, he knew drunk Karl, and that man was astoundingly needy.

“Oh thank God.” Quackity murmured, hoping Karl hadn’t heard, as Sapnap approached the two of them. He almost threw Karl at his boyfriend before rushing to crush Bad on the sofa. “I’m sorry Sap, but he’s like a sick little kid.”

“No, you make a good point.” Sapnap twirled Karl around so that he was in a more comfortable position propped against Sapnap’s side. “I really thought he wouldn’t become a partier. Apparently that only applied for freshman year.”

Quackity shrugged, spitting his drink out at the indignant frown Karl was sporting, and wandered off to jeer at George. Which just left Dream, Sapnap and Karl (and Bad if you counted him, but he was already babbling with Skeppy and Puffy, so most didn’t).

Like a petulant child, Karl scrambled in Sap’s grasp of him, whining about “not being that drunk” while simultaneously tripping over his own feet every time he was let go of. Dream was smirking at the sight, warmth in his eyes at the love they both shared. Sapnap knew that, to an extent, he owed it to Dream that he had the privilege of getting to love Karl every day. If Dream hadn’t talked sense into him, he might’ve grown shy and distant, and he would never have been able to live that feeling down.

And Dream definitely thought he was at fault for the pairing, since he demanded that to be the case almost every time he saw the two embrace. There were signs in the way he said it too, and Karl heard them, loud and clear. He was so glad to be responsible for someone’s relationship going well. Because he’d dated three people in freshman year,and not a single one had lasted. Each time, Dream had walked home, either drenched in rain, or boots unlaced with how little care they had been tied, and professed to Sapnap that nothing was working out for him anymore.

Sapnap didn’t have the courage nor such pity to tell Dream why. They both knew anyway, and it was fruitless. Dream had to figure it out on his own eventually, and then one day he could come crying to Sapnap with the truth. Then he could help. For the time being, though, he seemed to have problems of his own to attend to. Like Karl reaching for a glass of wine.

“Babe, I refuse to let you get alcohol poisoning less than a month into the academic year.” Karl seemed to mope for another several seconds, before it dawned on him that Sapnap had a point, and he gave him a hug sullenly.

“Dude, I’m drunk.”

Dream snorted with laughter at that, before his ears went red at the fierce look his best friend shot at him. “Jesus, Sap. Anyways, Karl, how drunk would you say you are?”

“Enough that I probably shouldn’t be this far away from a bed. I’ll crash here if I-” he hiccuped slightly, catching himself on his syllable with a groan, “if I’m not careful.”

Dream seemed intent on something for a moment, scanning the room owned by their friends Punz and Sam like a hawk searching for prey. Within a minute, his eyes glowed with gratification. “George!” he yelled, beckoning the other from where he seemed deep in conversation with a cotton candy haired girl. Intently, George listened for the source of the noise, before dragging himself and the girl over.

Inhesitantly, Dream drove into conversation, “So, George, Karl’s wasted.”

“I can see that, thank you very much.”

“And Sapnap is probably going to take him home.”

“Dream, you’re rambling. Get to the point, I was talking to Niki about a German poet she liked.”

“Jesus, you and your bisexual nerd coven can wait. I was thinking that Sapnap could crash at Karl’s place, or vice versa, and you and I could too?”

Confliction barely even flitted through George’s face before he muttered, “Yes. Riveting stuff really, Clay, but one second.” he gave his best friend an apologetic glance before turning back to face Niki for a moment. While he reminisced with her over literature, Dream watched them like George had hung the moon. Which in Dream’s eyes, he probably had. Sapnap just fake retched, pretending he wasn’t watching his best friends with fondness.

He locked eyes with Dream again. “So, we leave in twenty?”

“I was thinking an hour. I haven’t drank much yet and Quackity had this game he wanted us to play.”

“Alright, well I’ll leave before you. Keep the bed war-”

“No, it’s alright, twenty minutes is fine.”

Pretending none of them had seen the desperation to be near George ebbing into his every word, Sapnap and George just sighed at Dream’s nonsense. Niki’s eyes were bright with intrigue.

“Hey, sorry to intrude, but are those two not together?”

Used to the same explanation, Sapnap delivered. “No, but I’m sure you can take a hint. Dream called you bi, and I saw you and Puffy earlier, so I’m guessing you can read signals here.”

“That’s not a signal, that’s a whole national flag.” Niki looked over at George with a grin. “Poor guy, he’s sweet. Wouldn’t stop talking about Von Schiller. And Dream. He reminds me of one of my other English friends. I wonder if they know each other.”

Sapnap chuckled. “Niki, I’m pretty sure not all English people know one another.”

“Okay, does he know Wilbur Soot? Or Will Watson?”

Sapnap strangled down a burst of laughter as both he and Karl caught on to who she was referencing. “Oh, Wilbur, yeah. Best friends in British high school.” All three burst into laughter, remembering the strange, nerdy theatre kid. Not that Karl or Sapnap knew him incredibly well, but George would always tell them stories, and introduce them to him on call. A larger than life (and well, large, height-wise) man, who frequented the O2 and wrote various songs that made no sense to anyone but him.

Sapnap liked Wilbur. And Niki.

“Sorry Niki, it’s been nice meetin’ you, but I should probably get Karl home before he collapses.”

“I wouldn’t!” Karl exclaimed, bouncing on his toes as if he hadn’t giggled until he spluttered and keeled over moments before.

Niki nodded in understanding, pointing them to the door. All the event had reminded him of was how little time he spent socialising with anyone that wasn’t in his immediate circle. That was just how he was. Intimate, boisterous groups fit him best. He fit like a puzzle piece with George, Dream, Bad, Karl and Quackity, and that was more or less it, bar a couple. Karl went without saying though. He amused himself by pouring over nostalgic evenings spent with his boyfriend as they walked through the dusk streets of campus to Karl and George’s dorms.

Once the door was thrown open, Karl haphazardly made a bee-line for the bed in his room, leaving Sapnap to follow behind him. They both reeked of alcohol, sweat and cat fur, courtesy of the cat Karl had insisted on petting on their way back.

Under his breath, Karl whispered his boyfriend’s name. Like he was summoning an angel, to retrieve him from a land of sin. “Sapnap?”

“Yeah, darlin’?

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Sapnap snorted derisively. They had been together for almost ten months, he fucking hoped so. “Well yeah, you’re my boyfr-”

“No, no, Sap, I know that. I’m not that drunk. Well, I am, but- still. I mean, I really love you. In the way that Icarus loved the Sun. He was willing to fall so far that- I don’t actually know how far, but a long long way, since he died and all. Except I love you, but without the sacrifice. Like, instead of giving up my life for you, and having it taken, I’m spending it with you? Does that make sense? That didn’t feel right. I should repeat it. I shouldn’t.” While externally debating with himself, Karl sunk yet further into the leather of Sapnap’s sofa, with a small whine.

Beguiled at the words just spoken, Sapnap merely stood dead still, his eyes wide. If Karl weren’t even drunker than him, he’d kiss him at that moment. Not a cold person, Karl doused out his affection when he thought it kind. Always was he in the mood for a hug, taking any opportunity to intertwine himself with his friends and boyfriend. When it came to verbal communication of any kind, let alone affection, Karl was futile. Barely able to summon a romantic statement for his life.

This sort of outburst was unfounded, novel to Sapnap.

Only once had Karl said anything of the like, in bed in such an hour of morning Sapnap found it unbelievable Karl was still wide awake. His boy had tapped him awake, coerced him into consciousness belligerently, and then only said one thing. “When we get married, does that mean your initials will be NJ or SJ?” Then, having barely even heard Sapnap’s confused groan of a response, he had fallen promptly asleep, still propped up on his elbows.

When. That had made Sapnap smile.

The moment had faded mostly into the night, never to be mentioned again. Sapnap was forcibly reminded of the tender moment, the tangerine aura peeled back.

Unpredictable. Karl was impulsive. Volatile at the worst of times, whimsical at the best. You never knew what you were in for. He was the same in love. The measures of which he loved seemed incalculable, illogical by every way you could know. Karl’s love lay beyond the very boundaries of love itself, and the closer Sapnap came to him, the more he felt connected to the rush of implausible shine that was Karl.

Karl, who was still babbling about his feelings and drunkenness to his astounded partner.

“I’m going to sleep. Love you baby.” Karl slurred the sentence together so it read more sloppily, but Sapnap just beamed.

“Night, lovely.”

“Come back here when you wanna sleep so we can cuddle. Socks.”

“Socks?”

“No homo.”

“Right.”

“We’re way too drunk.”

They were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was arguably Karl’s worst decision of his life. As usual, done on impulse, to impress nobody except himself.

As usual, it had failed. Because why the fuck would breaking up with his boyfriend because they were twenty be a good idea?

Something had gotten to him. Most likely that conversation with his mom. She hadn’t even meant it like that, but- well, it was hard to think of it in any other way.

They had been calling for almost an hour, her chastising him over the state of his desk, and any parties he had been within fifty feet of. Tiredly, he remarked that Sapnap was good enough at keeping him in check. Trying not to giggle at her own motherly immaturity, his mom whispered back, “As your mom, don’t answer, but that kid must be getting laid big time, for basically having your back thus often.”

It probably was then that he realised he was dragging Sapnap down. He partied more than his boyfriend, collapsed in his bed afterwards, trying not to throw up on the hoodie Sapnap always offers him, and slept until midday the next day. It was weekly, nearly. So was the studying. Cramming until past midnight, and finding Sapnap already asleep on the couch, the film they were going to watch together paused at 0:00.

And there was sex. He didn’t like considering it all too much. But he was failing him there, too. It wasn’t that he was averse to the idea. They did it occasionally, once every month or so, but it bored Karl. He just liked seeing the look in his boyfriend’s eyes, so he dealt with it. But he couldn’t help but feel like he was letting Sapnap down, in not giving him everything that he had wanted in a relationship.

So, instead of dealing with it, he got Dream, in a comp sci lesson, to forward a letter to his boyfriend. It read, simply,

My Darling,
I’m sorry. Really, I am. I don’t have words.
I think I’ve burdened you, being your boyfriend and all.
Here’s a lock and key.
You deserve it.
~Karl.

When Karl handed it to Dream, the lanky blonde scanned its contents over before giving Karl a deadpan stare. “Please don’t, Karl.”

He had just shaken his head sullenly, and ignored his phone for the next three days.

Two weeks into the endeavour, he was dismal, barely able to wake up in the morning on days he was sober. Neglecting all of his schoolwork, all of his friends, all of his classes. Diminished.

Everybody could tell. Rumours worked their way around campus of why happy-go-lucky Karl Jacobs was barely gracing a single lecture. Especially true ones, the ones that brutalised the truth moreover.

George was the one to finally get through to him. It had been three weeks since he had broken up with Sapnap, and he was already idly wondering if the man had moved on. With some blonde, athletic model, probably. He shook Karl awake on a blisteringly hot May morning, shaking him until his eyes crossed.

“George? Stop.” Karl whined before turning over.

“I’m trying to knock some sense into you. Keyword, trying.”

In irritation, he whacked George’s hand off his bed, sighing. However nerdy he was, George could put up a fight, and he would have to give in eventually. “I don’t need to hear it. It’s all good, I’m just recovering.”

A thin-lipped smirk curled around George’s lips. “So you admit that it was difficult?”

“Of course it was, don’t even try that on me. Worst thing I’ve done in a long while.”

“What?”

“I mean, worst thing I’ve had to do-”

George was grinning by then. “No. No you don’t. You regret it. You’re just as miserable as you look, Karl. Sap showed me that letter, it’s all utter shame. You’re ashamed. Give me one good reason he shouldn’t love you half as much as he does.”

Karl pushed himself up onto his elbows, wishing George were less persuasive. “I’m a lot to handle, and he shouldn’t have to handle me all the time.”

“Alright,” George looked oddly like a therapist, brushing back his hair, and adjusting his seating with an affirming hum. Karl felt disoriented by the sight. “And has it occurred to you that you’re projecting your own insecurities about what others might feel about you into a perfectly healthy relationship? Because I have never seen Sapnap give you kindness without you trying your best to return it tenfold.”

Why did George have to be so goddamn smart, and one of his best friends?

“I have to call him, don’t I? Try to see if he’ll forgive me?”

George rolled his eyes, before brandishing a bottle of water from behind his back. “First, you have a drink, you look like a vampire. Maybe go on a walk later, fresh air and all. But, yes, I think you should call him.”

He knew Karl wouldn’t call him unless he stayed, so George did. The small slab rang dully, ringing ringing ringing, until a message played. “Sorry, there is nobody here to take your call. Please leave a message after the t-”

“Fuck.”

Nothing was going to damper George’s bright mood. “Well, he goes up to the balcony every night in hopes you’ll be there, so that’s a start.”

After almost two years, the stars felt colder without him. They grew dim, and lost their light, and Karl didn’t want the reminder that his Sun had faded. Every night had become never. He avoided even glancing up at them if he could help it.

That night, the stairs were tangling around his feet, tripping him up to prevent him prevailing and making it to the rooftop. In spite of that, he knew what was at stake, and he realised he couldn’t risk leaving it alone. He had to see Sapnap, had to at least try to bring him back. Some things really were too good to lose. Stars are too bright to burn out.

His hands looked rawer than usual, like they had rubbed against his t-shirt too often. Face dampened, darker, more desolate. Eyes fluttering shut every time a star seemed to sparkle under its own light. Each shiver he made rippled through his body, lacking rhythm and rhyme and reason and joy.

A tether between the feathers crumpling on his back and the remaining light kept him suspended in the air. His wings beating. Slower, ever slower, but with more hope at the sight of his Sun.

“Hey.” Sapnap whispered, like his voice had grown accustomed to the absence of feeling.

“Hi.”

“What’s up?” There was a small, bitter chuckle at the end of his words, packing that extra bite. With a disgusting fondness, Karl remembered back to their first ever conversation, in a dimly lit corridor almost two years before.

“The stars. Where you belong.”

He hadn’t meant for the last part to sound so sickeningly symbolic. Just a figure of speech. When he considered it, it didn’t feel all too out of place, the idea that maybe, his (ex?) boyfriend was a gift brought from the night sky to bring the Earth that bit more light.

With Karl, it had definitely worked.

They moved to sit together on the end of the balcony, legs dangling into the precipice of below through the railing. Wishing he had more to say, Karl tried to shoot Sapnap as many meaningful looks as it took to give them meaning, but Sapnap only smiled before his gaze darted back to the sky. Maybe he was scared. Wasn’t love supposed to be petrifying?

“Sap, I made a mistake”

“Took you long enough.”

Sapnap seemed more than happy to smirk, and settle for brushing his hand against his boyfriend’s, still admiring the dust scattered lazily by the galaxy. Nothing interrupted them for what felt like hours, so they didn’t try to change that.

After an hour, a single shooting star flew by, given a screen on the side of campus not lit by lamp posts. It burnt bright, twirling through the sky before dissipating to a mere memory. Karl hoped that that was not love.

“Am I really good to you? Or am I just pretty enough to lie to?”

He had to know. Ever since it had occurred to him, scrambling junctions of thought had spiralled him into a shroud of self-doubt, rewriting every moment to include a new way to loathe himself. Maybe he had woven himself into Sapnap’s skin so far he had wrapped around his lungs, suffocating him?

If this was the end of all of it, he’d be happy to know.

“Jacobs, I have never met someone so incredibly thick, and yet so smart at the same time.”

It took an inhale, a blink, and a cock of his head to process what had escaped Sapnap’s mouth. “What d’you mean?”

“I mean that you have to be insane not to realise how much I am tripping over my own feet just to hear you say my name, after two whole years.”

“I’m a human, Sap.”

“That’s the most beautiful part. You’re my moon. So real, so handsome, so far away in your own universe. And if you don’t think you’re enough for me, I’ll counter with this: you are a part of me. I’ll be damned if I can’t let you know every single day how much I need you.”

He coughed. “If you want, that is.”

Karl knew he had his time to speak. Courage swelled up, and bled out promptly. Never one for grand gestures, the perfect balance to mister “How awesome or awful would it be if I invited a clown to your not-so-surprising party?” Sapnap. He mostly spoke through actions, gestures and eyes. Language didn’t matter when you had expression. Or, at least, it was easier to convince yourself of such than accept the fact that you might have a fear of abandonment the moment you reveal who you might be.

“I'll be honest, I’m terrified. But hey, I’m speaking and that’s a start. I’m not gonna pretend I broke up with you for any reason to do with you. Because that wouldn’t be dumb, more idiotic. You’re the perfect human, and well, I don’t think that could change if you tried. You’re sweet, and pretty, and you sing with passion, and roll the r in my name like a typical Texan, and you call your sisters and your voice softens, so much. This isn’t your problem to fix, it’s mine. I think I might be the problem.”

“Karl, darling, give me one good reason I shouldn’t love you enough to come up here every night and see you in every star.”

The response made Karl want to hurtle towards the ground once again. Like a meteor, driven by an insane force beyond his control.

“I’m always busy, tired, stressed, or drunk every weekend, and I’m ace. More than one, actually.” He took himself by surprise at the venomous bite his words had taken. Like they were grieving the time they had stored up in the back of Karl’s throat. Sapnap only nodded. None of this was new to him. It was just the shared truth. Karl was far out of his depth at school, in life, and in general, and Sapnap shouldn’t have had to cope with it. Sapnap had to have known that by then right?

“True, but wrong.”

How had Karl found the most beautiful, stubborn, strange, hilarious guy and then decided to still fall in love with him regardless?

“What?”

“All facts, but wrong. Better still, some of them are my favourite things about you. You’re busy, and you’re stressed, and you’re tired. And God forbid if I didn’t force you to sleep on nights when you’re cramming. But you’re prettier when your hair gets all lopsided, and poofy. You are the dumbass that thought it was a good idea to take any class that sounded remotely interesting for two years in a row, and it’s incredible. George is a nerd, and even he reigned it in at five. You’re just a genius of an idiot.”

“College is only two more years, and for these years, you should get to have your moment. If that’s sleep deprived, drunk, tired Karl, I’ll still cuddle him half to death. You’re still one of the nicest people I know. How’d you manage that? You’re the only reason I passed half my classes last year, and the only reason I got to marathon Miraculous season 3 with a giant teddy bear last Valentine’s day with a handsome boy. And you’re asexual. So what? If all I wanted you for was sex, Jacobs, we wouldn’t be here. I’ve known the whole time, and I still dated you. You’re the only boy I wanna love, sex or not. Whichever you’d rather.”

Sapnap sighed, this time with relief. “Is that all you wanted?”

Then he noticed that Karl’s eyes were red-rimmed, and his own had gone glassy, and they both burst out into fits of giggles at the sight of each other’s brashly held back tears. “All I wanted?” Karl whispered in the intervals between gasping for air and laughter. “Jesus Christ, I love you.”

Sapnap’s ears turned a dreadful shade of hibiscus, and he ceased up petals of words, “Next time you break up with me, don’t do it because you've gone mad and decided I’m out of your league. It’s dumb.”

Karl grinned, a burgundy ghost dancing on his irises of a forgotten Sun. “The aim is for there not to be a next time.”

The rumours had to be abruptly stopped when a freshman caught the pair giddily studying for a computer science test the next week, sharing a singular armchair and mango monster can.

Everyone was glad. Most of all Karl and Sapnap themselves, who felt like they had lit a Sun together with a match and the burning flames of their hearts alone.

I have no words.

They had a lifetime of words, and a first draft left in a desk draw finding sentences for them to fall into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I know when I’m gonna propose!”

Dream’s beer dribbled down his chin as George’s pint glass fell from his grip to lamely shatter.

“I’m sorry, you’re gonna do what?”

Nightfall was steadily approaching in the apartment the three seniors shared, and a sloppy night of drinking and horror movies that was supposed to be a precursor to exams ending in three days time had vastly changed in tone. Sapnap couldn’t help but feel proud of the exasperated expressions on the faces of his two best friends as they tried not to choke on their drinks. Even Patches seemed alarmed, her movements seeming like mere flashes of her furry form.

Maybe in retrospect, his timing of the news hadn’t been ideal. Being twenty two, and his friends on the verge of a relationship of their own, perhaps his engagement plan was one for later. A year and some other amount ago, he had heard Dream admit he was in love with George. His own love life should’ve been second priority, but-

“I wanna propose to Karl, obviously.”

George threw the hoodie of Dream’s he had been given seven years before onto the glass mess with a scoff. “Obviously?”

Admittedly, everything about it sounded idiotic. But that was about the only part that really made sense to Sapnap, and so he just beamed at his unamused roommates.

“Don’t worry, it won’t be like tomorrow, or anything. It’s just, he loves the stars, and he’s made me love them. And I was talking to that Ancient History major guy in my class, the one with the pink hair, and he told me all about the Draconids. And, well, it sparked an idea. I couldn't resist.”

Both Dream and George were unimpressed, Dream still limply clutching his glass, ignoring the stain on his formerly cream white t-shirt.

“So,” he mused, “ Techno from one of your classes told you about some nerdy shit, and now you’re going to propose to Karl?”

“Yeah, more or less.”

A begrudging smile warmed into Dream’s features. “And you know I’ll need more details than that, right?”

After Techno’s mention of them, Sapnap had taken it upon himself to explore all of the textbooks on astronomy he hadn’t before. Which hadn't helped all too much (and keeping it from Karl had been a pain in the neck at times), but he’d learnt a few of the reasons the rare meteor shower was so captivating.

First of all, that it was a rare meteor shower in the first place. One of Karl’s hyperfixations, and their first bonding place. Meteor showers. Your home falling, crashing down on you, only to be met with wistful grins and wishes jutted into them.

He kept talking of how he and Karl would watch the stars together every evening, and bring each other new facts they had learnt. The Draconids had only come up once, briefly, and in passing. Karl had described them as a sort of experience you always impossibly wanted to experience twice. And every October 6-10th, in the evenings, Karl would try and find them. Apparently, when he was tiny, he had seen them with his father, a memory he cherished, but could only recall foggilly.

Sapnap had heard it mentioned again by a boy obsessed with fencing and took it upon himself to rediscover the phenomena, and let Karl see it again.

“According to my research, the next likely major one is next October, around the eighth. I know that’s seventeen months away, but I wanna warn you, and think about it and all that shit. Y’know, be prepared and all to propose to the man I love.”

The other two nodded unanimously, faltering for a second to meet eyes with one another. Sapnap was in half a mind to urge them to just skip the middleman and passionately make out already, but rough fingernails scratched against the door, letting his eyes jerk towards the odd sound.

For some reason, Karl hated entering the apartment like a normal human being. Instead, he dug and scraped the oak so it was easy to tell him apart from all other guests. Which was lucky in this situation, being that George’s eyes were still popping out of his head, beer was pooled in the creases of Dream’s shorts and Sapnap looked like he was about to combust of excitement.

They haphazardly fixed the scenario before Karl could turn the handle.

“It’s open, darlin’!”

Hastily, Karl fell into the living room, a stressed smile pressed across his face. That day had been his final exam of many, and it was no wonder if he was exhausted. Sapnap couldn’t conceal how proud of his boyfriend he was.

“Is the shower set on 3?”

Sapnap snorted with laughter, before entangling Karl into a suffocating hug. “O’course, I set it up in advance. I’m guessing you’re dead in every way but physically, but I know you managed it. You’re done now, baby, you can breathe.”

It was nice to feel the tension start to bleed from Karl’s gaunt face as he clung onto the other boy. Luckily, George and Dream had had half the sense to retreat to the couch and put on TV while the couple had their moment. While their arms wrapped around each other’s spines, creeping into their bone marrow to become a part of each other.

Three and a half years, Karl had been the only place his heart belonged.

The plan was to make it as many as it took for them to bleed out into each other’s graves.

“Σε αγαπώ.” Karl whispered back, only slightly mispronouncing the phrase.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why’re we doing this again? You look petrified!”

Karl was right, Sapnap’s eyes were boring into his own face with the rapidity of his blinks, his glance askance and hands fidgety.

Not because they were visiting his family in mid-October.

The Draconids were supposed to be that night, and “coincidentally” it matched up with them being in the blistering heat of Texas to visit Sapnap’s family.

Karl was nervous himself, rigid in motion, and with eyes zipping from random object to random object, but he was more concerned for Sapnap. Especially after the unfortunate description of Sapnap’s father he had gotten so long ago.

Maybe Sapnap had chanced it a little too much, gone a little too close to the Sun. But he’d never been one to take notice of risks, and he knew he couldn’t avoid his father like the plague until he was married.

“Don’t worry. They’ll love you. And I. We’re here because they're my sisters, and my step mom, and my dad, and they care about me, and wanna meet you. Simple as that.” It wasn’t that simple, but Karl wasn’t to know that until that night.

Relieved by the lack of shaking in Sapnap’s voice, Karl let himself be pulled by the wrist up to the doorway as Sapnap fiddled with his keys before ditching them entirely. The doorbell seemed ominous from the outside. He’d never noticed that. Growing up, he’d always been inside. Seeing his house fall before him was a rarity, and being with Karl made it even more interesting.

“Nick!”

Sapnap was only slightly startled by the four voices that started chanting his name in chorus. All of them approached on steady feet, taking in the sight before them.

Emilia, Sapnap’s youngest sister, squinted up at Karl first. Between her hands were a teddy bear, but it was starting to droop towards the floor as the unconcerned girl scanned her brother’s boyfriend. “So you’re the guy Nick’s in love with?” Her tone was casual, but also inquisitive, as if she had to check just to be certain. Karl nodded, shooting a scared look at Sapnap. He had siblings too, sure, but they were both close enough to his age that stuff like relationships didn’t phase them. They barely even wanted to know (although Corry did have a habit of interrogating him whenever he blushed looking at a text mid family gathering). In return, he got a small laugh from his boyfriend that did little to comfort.

“Uh, yeah. I’m Karl.” He breathed a sigh of relief that at least he was getting it out of the way.

Both girls, Emilia and the taller, darker haired girl with glasses looming behind her, gave him satisfied looks. “I know you’re Karl,” Emilia whispered back, “I’m Emilia.”

“Hi Emilia.”

The taller one, Serena, Sapnap had told him, beamed with pride. “Break his heart and I’ll kill you. That’s how stuff works here.”

Slightly taken aback by such a small girl being so aggressive, Karl raised an eyebrow. “Sure, sounds like a deal to me. Provided I get to kill your brother if he breaks my heart?”

Serena giggled, nodding. “Deal.” Sapnap seemed not to like the deal, rolling his eyes at his sister and boyfriend, but laughed along all the same.

Pausing her pondering for a few seconds, Emilia ran right up to Karl with a smile. Then, taking him by surprise, she wrapped her tiny arms around his legs. “You’re very warm, Karl.” The way she pronounced his name was so Southern, it made Karl grin. Her accent was stronger than Sap’s, and she rolled the r strangely. Without any more hesitation, he curved his own arm around her waist, before hoisting her up to his eye level.

“Watcha doin’, Karl?”

“Letting you fly!” He exclaimed before throwing her a few inches out of his grasp, and catching her once again. She screamed with glee, and Serena and Sapnap both gave them wistful looks.

Several hours later, the six of them were gathered around the table, eating Sapnap’s stepmom’s Filipino food.

“Jesus, darling, you were right, this is incredible!” Karl mumbled in between massive mouthfuls, “Thanks Mrs Armstrong, this is some of the nicest food I’ve had in months!”

The food was gracefully passed in between the family and its guest, excited chatter of Emilia starting kindergarten, and Serena’s fifth grade show. Eventually, it carried onto Karl and Sapnap’s jobs and relationship, and the churning weight in Karl’s stomach grew heavier with every baited breath.

“So Karl, I heard that you’re a software engineer?”

A prolonged silence followed Sapnap’s dad’s question, before Karl remembered he was supposed to be able to answer simple things like a regular human.

“Uh yeah, so if your PC ever crashes, you know who to call!” There was a faint giggle from one of the girls that died instantaneously. Sapnap’s dad seemed to weigh out the silence. “So, good figures financially, but no grandchildren. I reckon I could deal with that compromise.”

This was not what Karl had expected when his boyfriend offered to take him down to Texas for the weekend. Maybe some judgement, that was what came with a Texan man having a queer son, but not reluctant compromise and the idea of having children. Sure, it wasn’t as if the thought had never occurred to him, but when it came so simply from his boyfriend’s dad’s mouth, it was a little concerning. Was that the expectation? Was his boyfriend supposed to have married a quiet blonde girl and had four kids by now?

“Dad, it’s not as if adoption doesn’t exist anyways.” Sapnap muttered, before mouthing at Karl, “Don’t worry, this is a good sign.”

Serena’s eyes darted right to her brother’s. “So I get to be an aunt? When?”

A glint in Sapnap’s eye seemed to hint otherwise, but he stated nonchalantly, “Not until you’re at least fifteen, that's for sure.”

Everyone at the table laughed at Serena’s adorable pouty face, and Karl decided that maybe the visit wasn’t half as morbidly prophetic as he had thought it would be. Which meant there was only one thing left to do.

“You’re kidding!”

“Look up, I’m not.”

The couple were running through the dusty pathway of the hill by Sapnap’s backyard, hands flailing behind them as they got a good look at the night sky. Quite simply, Karl downright refused to believe what lay before his eyes. “You found them, you fucking brought me here and found them.”

Abashedly, Sapnap turned away while Karl collapsed onto the floor to lie on his back and get a better look. “The fucking Draconids. You remembered.”

Sapnap was still facing away, fiddling with his pant’s pocket. “O’course I did, darlin’! That's not the kinda thing you think I’d forget, right?”

“Honestly, I didn’t think it was worth remembering. But it’s so beautiful, it really is. Jesus Christ I love you.”

The proof was in his jacket pocket back in Florida, but it went without saying.

For a few more seconds, Karl continued to point at every star he could justify having his attention on, letting his eyes trace every meteor that fell past his eye view. Heaven, being where he’d always wanted to be, with his favourite person. It was better of a deal than he ever thought he deserved.

After telling the story of the Icarus star for the fourth or so time, he realised Sapnap still wasn’t laid beside him. So he rolled over to get a better look at the man he loved, and promptly choked on his own spit.

“Oh fuck off!” he grumbled at the man kneeling in front of him, hair messily clumped the back of his neck, and eyes swirling with adoration.

“Hey, what’s that for?” Sapnap snapped back, trying not to look too incredulous.

“You stole the proposal from me. The ring I was gonna give you is in George’s desk drawer back in the apartment!”

A snort escaped from Karl’s boyfriend as he placed his palm into his face. “So then why did Dream literally paint your nails yesterday just to help me make this the perfect proposal? He literally organised almost all of this, and the party for when we get back!”

Karl burst out into a fit of laughter. “Those lovebirds conspiracised against us, I bet you money.”

“I agree, we’ve been scammed.” There was a small pause, as Sapnap’s laugh started to sound a little more like a sniffle. “Anyways, Karl. If you’ll allow me, I’d like to steal your proposal for a minute.”

Karl’s neck flushed pink. “Feel free. Take anything you want.”

“Well, this wasn’t supposed to be cliche, but the longer I wrote it, the more cheesy it seemed. So, here goes. I’m sure not all friends fall in love. I mean, you’ve never seen me swooning over Dream, and for good reason.” Karl gave a nod of amusement, and gestured for his boyfriend to continue. “But, when it came to you, I think I was screwed from the first minute. Sitting all alone in a college corridor, about to cry my eyes out to literal rap music, you made me feel something. At home, maybe, in a place that was new. The place I’d used to run away from my own home, here.”

“Karl, I used to fear being at home. Especially around when my mom passed, and it felt as if my step mom was trying to fill the hole she had left behind. College felt new, and different. Not Texas, at least. But it was terrifying. And only one person seemed to notice how out of place I felt, and sat there, and just listened to my shitty music with me. Spoke with me about the dumbest stuff, and then still let me watch his favourite kid’s show a few days later.”

“Once, I came home crying from a party. Sobbing, even. Because a boy, the same boy in fact, was far too pretty, too kind, too funny, to even look in my direction. I was scared, because the place in my heart this boy held was already like a Kingdom. Somebody I care about helped me out with it, and he said something I’ll always remember. ‘If he feels like home. To me, that’s when you know’. And I already knew to an extent.”

Karl coughed to get his attention. “Can I try and take it from here?”

Sapnap nodded, shrugging off the sob that was overcoming him.

“Alright, so long emotional talks have never been my thing. Obviously, you know that. We both know so much about each other, it’s so interesting to me. The littlest things. Like I know that sometimes you sleep talk, but it’s always in Greek; that you pretend not to be a gossip, but you love hearing a good rumour. Or, that as much as you pretend that you hate it, your favorite pony in My Little Pony is Applejack, because she reminds you of your mom. And that your second favorites are tied Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, because one’s gay and the other’s socially awkward.”

“Uh, anyways, I know you. Not well enough to see this coming, though. Or to remember that you’d have something already written. Sorry for the improv. But, I know you well enough to know that you’re just happy I’m finally doing the big speech. So, I love you. Full homo. As much as Harry loved Sally, as much as Chandler loved Monica, as much as I’m convinced Adrian loved Marinette. As much, even, as Dream loves George. Except differently. You’re- well, you’re the Sun to my Icarus. You bring me the sky, and you bring me the heat, and you bring me the loathsome grace of the fall. And for that, I’m asking you to marry me.”

Sapnap wobbled on the knee from which he was propped up on. “Um, my love,” he murmured, “wasn’t that part my job?”

Karl sloppily pushed himself up to one knee. “Can’t we both have that job? I have purple nails and I just proposed. Don’t you dare ruin this for me!”

Throaty laughs erupted out of the fiancees as they fell back into the Texan dirt roads to admire the night sky.

“So what’s it going to be, Sapnap Jacobs, or Karl Armstrong?”

Sapnap made sure to shove Karl into the dirt for that one, before allowing the stars to envelop them instead.

“Don’t be too hasty, darlin’. The Sun hasn’t even melted you yet.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weddings, Karl was told, consisted of a lot of cheesy monologues about commitment, and big steak dinners with alcohol that often lead to a pregnancy or two.

So, when planning his own, he had made sure to avoid everything he thought might return to bite him (partly to prove he and Sapnap were meant to last, partly just to piss off his soon-to-be husband). And when he said everything, he meant it by the bare bones meaning of the phrase.

“I told you Karl, it’s either I’ll cave in and wear the nail polish, or we keep the Tails and Sonic costumes on show for the whole ceremony.”

“Okay fine, I relent. You get the orange nails, and we don’t wear the fursuits until after the ceremony. Deal?”

In response, Sapnap kissed him breathless.

On the day in question, Karl woke up with lavender bags welling up under his eyes that Quackity was forced to scrub away. The setback on unfortunate acne collecting on his nose almost resulted in George postponing the wedding, but in the end, they arrived at the building on time (God only knows how George barely even spilled purple nail polish all over Karl’s hand in the rickety taxi ride).

Like magic, the venue reflected the exact plan he and Sapnap had agreed upon a year before. The sangria night sky was counterbalanced by the wooden pillars adorned in pale clementine lanterns, revealing oak carved seats for the few people they had deemed guests.

Although someone had said seeing the bride before a wedding was bad luck, Karl reckoned that both the beauty of the venue and the fact that neither of them were brides might break the curse. Yet George wouldn’t relent. “Dream’s with him, don’t worry. He’ll make sure Sap doesn’t burst into tears too early.”

“Bold of you to assume Dream wouldn’t be the one crying.” Quackity retorted with a laugh.

“Speaking of which,” Karl whispered, “you’re engaged too, when’s that wedding happening?”

George went a spectral shade of white, and signalled to change the subject. When neither Karl nor Quackity were inclined, he sighed, “Soon. Clay keeps insinuating there’ll be some big plot twist, and with that fucker being impulsive, I’m scared I’ll be getting married by Floridian alligators.” George cleared his throat. “Anyways, Alex, has anyone caught your eye lately?”

“Isn’t this supposed to be my little Karl’s wedding? Alas, no, unless you mean Taylor Swift. Or your friend Wilbur, George. He’s kinda hot.”

All three choked down laughs at the seemingly accidental confession from Quackity, who went crimson from Adam's apple to the parts of his forehead vanishing into his beanie.

In a little closed off room, Sapnap’s throat bobbed up and down as he chugged down way more water than was advised before a wedding ceremony. It was the best day of his life; if it wasn’t perfect, was there even any point? Karl had changed his life. This was his day to prove it.

“Hey, buddy.” Dream put a light touch on his forearm in an attempt at comfort. It didn’t do much, but the gesture was well-intended enough.

“Shit. My vows, where are they? Did I leave them back at the lobby? Could I have-”

“Sap-”

“Oh it’s there! Is it done? I thought I’d finished it, but-”

“Sapnap?”

“Did I even mention the stars? I had to have-”

“Nick!”

Sapnap’s attention immediately rose to his best friend. They almost never used their real names for each other. “What?”

“You’ve got this. You love him. No matter what, you guys are gonna make this work.”

Sapnap raised an eyebrow at Dream as he glanced intently at the floor. “Dream, are you crying?”

Sniffling a little, Dream grinned. “Damn it, I told George I wouldn’t.”

“You told George alligators will be at your wedding, you guys can make it.”

The officiant, by popular demand, was Wilbur, who did all he could not to split into a grin at two of his best friends getting hitched. Dream and George were on either side of the two grooms, making eyes at each other that could only read “Soon, this’ll be us”, and Quackity and Bad were chucking flowers every which way. An orange-painted pinky finger wrapped around a purple one, and both knew they were gonna make it through.

“Dearly beloved,” Will announced, “we are gathered here today to see the union of Nick Armstrong and Karl Jacobs in holy matrimony. If anyone has any objections, speak now, or forever hold your peace.”

Everyone in the room collectively looked around, making sure nobody was about to ruin this. Quackity opened his mouth as if to say something funny, but with the look Karl shot him, promptly closed it with an eye roll.

“We got any speeches, boys?” Wilbur asked.

Karl ruffled the piece of paper from out of his pocket. “I’ll go first.” His voice was already wobbling, but Sapnap nodded encouragingly, and he levelled it out. “So, seven years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life.”

The whole room sat in silent bewilderment, and Karl let them.

“I ordered a turkey ham sandwich when actually, I wanted a bacon one.”

Sapnap playfully flicked his boyfriend on the shoulder, sighing with relief as the room did.

“Coincidentally, I also met a man seven years ago. Dashingly handsome, hundreds of unresolved issues, a love for cats our dorms wouldn’t allow us to buy. You were the whole package. And those are just your good qualities.” His tone abruptly softened to welcome a rawer feel to his words. “From the first time I met you, I was utterly done for. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as willing to put up with me. God, you watched Miraculous with me and then still thought being my boyfriend was a good idea.”

“Today won’t change all too much. It’s just being able to call you my husband rather than my boyfriend. Which I’ve sort of been doing anyway, or I would be if my mom didn’t almost cry every time I mention it. Thanks mom, I’m devastated too. Nick, you’ve been my best friend since we were eighteen, and today, that’s still the case; I love you just as much, too. So, um, here’s to being each other’s best decision. And for good measure, I love you.”

Despite being on the verge of tears, Karl giggled as Sapnap fumbled with his vows, before clearing his throat ominously.

“Karl. Such a pretty name. I don’t remind you how pretty you are enough, y’know. You were never much for sentimentalism, but I’m sorry, because that’s practically all I have.” Karl brushed a thumb along his knuckles. “I’ve loved you for so long it hurts. The good way. Ever shining, like the stars in the night sky. I’m going to keep this short, shut myself up for once. I will never find another person that makes me laugh, smile or talk endlessly as much as you do. And someone with a face I’d struggle so much not to see every moment I can. I love you, Karl Jacobs. Full homo.”

“Well, that was beautiful.” Wilbur was obviously trying his best not to stumble over his words, and the entirety of the room were trying their best not to burst into tears. Least of all the grooms, and their moms, who already had tears streaming down their cheeks. Even Corry, Sean and Sapnap’s dad were drying their eyes with their suit sleeves. Dream and Quackity didn’t even try hiding their sobs, and George and Bad were flashing the spouses soft smiles, their blinking quick.

“Nick, do you take Karl to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”

Sapnap took a moment to even out his breath before whispering, “O’course I do.”

“And Karl, do you take Nick to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death do you par-”

“I do.”

“When they say no hesitation, they tend not to mean to interrupt the officiant, Karl.”

“Sorry Will!”

“No problem. With that, I pronounce you husbands. You may now kiss.”

And they did. Slowly, carefully, like they had a lifetime to perfect the feeling, because they did.

The first dance started before Karl had time to put on his Sonic suit, something everyone except Karl was relieved about. After waltzing with Sapnap, Karl started twirling around Emilia while Sapnap did the running man with Emilia, all four giggling hysterically.

“Why is Quackity dancing with your mum?” George whispered to Karl near the end of the second song.

“Why is Wilbur dancing with Sap’s stepmom?” Karl responded incredulously with.

Sapnap, overhearing the discussion, muttered, “More importantly, why haven’t they broken eye contact with each other in almost ten minutes?”

Ten minutes later, Karl was dragged into the centre stage by his husband. “What are you doing?” he exclaimed, as a hand fastened onto his waist.

“Dancing with you. Listen!”

So they listened.

“Alabama, Arkansas
I do love my ma and pa
Not the way that I do love you.”

The two spouses started singing along, doing a mash up of a waltz and just swaying together on the floor.

They were home, together.