Chapter Text
Jungwon loves days off. He also loves those days when they’re filming for a show, days that technically aren’t off but are more chill and fun. Compared to their regular daily schedules, filming days are almost like a vacation.
Especially this particular filming. The managers told them to pack things for the weekend; three days and two nights. He’s never packed up this quickly before, looking forward to getting out of the busy Seoul for a bit.
Everyone seems equally as excited. When they’re filming, they don’t have to worry about hours and hours of dance practice, work out or even dieting. They’re allowed to eat whatever they want, even if it’s just for a few days.
While most of them managed to fit everything into a backpack - Even Riki, though his backpack was ripping at the seams - Jay shows up with an actual suitcase. Heeseung gives him a look and Jay shrugs. “I’m not going to look like an idiot during filming. Just packed a few outfits.”
Jungwon knows him well enough to know that’s a bullshit and a half. Even with several outfit options, he’d do just fine with a backpack. He packed snacks for Sunoo and Riki, maybe even took his laptop to work in the evenings. He’s always working, always improving, it’s both inspiring and downright annoying.
Managers don’t say anything as they load their luggage into the small bus and then they get in one by one. Jungwon goes first, sitting by the window and watches the rest get on. Jay is the last to board. There’s an empty spot next to Sunghoon and next to Jungwon, too. Jay stops in his tracks for a bit before sitting down next to Sunghoon. Something in Jungwon’s chest clenches, probably his heart. Jungwon is Jay’s first choice in basically anything. Favorite member? Jungwon. Favorite dongsaeng? Jungwon, of course. His lifeline? Jungwon, again. Jay makes it very clear that he favores Jungwon, without a doubt. That’s why it’s confusing to the leader that he suddenly doesn’t want to be all up in his space.
Jungwon would definitely sit next to him. He wanted Jay to sit next to him so he could take a nap with his head on Jay’s shoulder.
He glances at the older man. Jay is looking back at him, smirking. “Aw, Wonnie, don’t look so sad. I’ll sit next to you next time!” Jungwon can feel his face burning. “Shut up.”
Sunghoon looks at Jungwon like he knows something that Jungwon doesn’t, then leans into Jay who immediately wraps his arm around his shoulder. The cameras stay off and the young leader is actually grateful for that. The last thing he needs is another compilation video on YouTube titled “ Yang Jungwon being a little pissbaby who’s jealous over Jay being nice to all the members and not just him ”.
~~*~~
Their first stop is at a convenience store. They’re told to pair up and each pair gets a vlogging camera on a selfie stick to film their snack hunt. Jungwon feels a little left out, being the odd one out. However, Jay grabs him by the wrist and pulls him in, smushing him between himself and Sunghoon. His fingers stay wrapped around Jungwon’s slim wrist the whole time a staff member gives them instructions. Get two snacks each in ten minutes, then they’re leaving again. No time for any hot snack meals like tteokbokki or ramen. Jungwon’s stomach makes a noise just from thinking about it.
The little red light signals that the camera is on. Jay lets go of Jungwon’s hand. “What do you want to eat?” He looks over the crown of the leader’s head at Sunghoon. He shrugs. “I don’t know. I wanted tteokbokki but that’s not happening.” He scrunches up his nose as they enter the convenience store. They’re immediately hit with the scent of spicy ramen. Jungwon pulls up his face mask a little higher as it almost slipped under his nose. “I’ll take a corndog and a banana milk,” he finally decides and walks quickly to the cooler, grabbing his milk. Jay is filming him from their spot, zooming in on his hands so it’s obvious what he’s taking. Jungwon watches his hyung as he warms up his corndog, then looks around for something for himself.
“I’m taking some kimbap, you want some?” Jay asks as he’s looking for his favorite triangle shaped kimbap. It resembles onigiri more than the traditional kimbap but it still tastes good, so it doesn’t matter. “Can you grab one for me, too? If they have spicy tuna mayo.” Jay nods and reaches to the very back for another piece. Jungwon also takes the soy sauce marinated eggs for himself and watches Jay reach for a bag of grape flavored jellies. His shirt rides up a little and Jungwon’s mouth goes dry at the sight of Jay’s skin.
He would much rather take a bite of that than his eggs-
-what the fuck. He blinks a few times, trying to get his thoughts in order. This isn’t normal. He doesn’t want to think of his favorite hyung like that. Though he does sometimes, can’t help it. He doesn’t really understand why, not that he doesn’t know about crushes, it’s just that he’s never had a real crush on anyone before, except for Rain because everyone has had a crush on Rain at some point. But this is different. What he feels for Jay is incomparable with that childhood crush on Rain. Back then, he thought that the artist was so cool and handsome and he wanted to be just like that. With Jay, it’s not only that the older man is very cool and good looking, but his personality is lovable, he’s actually such a softie. He makes Jungwon want to hold his hand and take naps with him; it makes Jungwon want to sit next to him on a fucking bus.
After they pay for their snack with the money they were given by the staff, they get back on the bus. Sunghoon already started eating because he wanted to enjoy his food warm. Their manager frowns at him but Sunghoon doesn’t spare him a look. Not because he’s rude but because he’s just trying to eat.
The cameras are still rolling as they’re all happily munching on their food. Jay stretches over Sunghoon and offers Jungwon his jellies. Jungwon offers Jay one of his eggs. Jungwon doesn’t even like grape flavored things but the smile Jay gave him made him just take it.
~~*~~
They’re staying in a fairly small cabin for the filming period. There’s three bedrooms for the members to share, a lounge area connected to a kitchen and a reasonably sized backyard. They play rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s going to room with who. Sunoo and Heeseung get to choose first so they decide to room together. Riki wins next, then Jake, then Sunghoon, who also decide to room together. Jay looks at Jungwon and shrugs. “So, we’re roomies again.” Jungwon shrugs, something in his chest clenches and his belly feels like something is crawling inside.
They enter the cabin and take off their shoes and jackets. Jay drags his suitcase behind him. Their manager leans against the door frame. “Sunoo-shi, Heeseung-shi, you can choose whichever room you want,since you won, from this one on the left or the one at the end of the hallway; those are the smaller rooms. Jake-shi, Sunghoon-shi and Riki-shi, your room is the one next to the kitchen, that’s the biggest one.” They all nod and Jungwon knows he and Jay will just take the room that’s left. Sunoo points at the bedroom closer to them, so Jungwon grabs his backpack and starts heading to the room at the end of the hallway.
“Wait, let me see what the rooms look like,” Jay speaks up and walks right behind Heeseung. Their room is not super big, it has two twin beds by the walls and two small bedside tables.
Jake, Sunghoon and Riki’s room is pretty much the same, just bigger. Two of the beds are creating an L shape in the corner of the room. They all get settled, spread eagle on their beds.
Finally, Jungwon and Jay get to go to their room.
It’s bigger than the one Sunoo and Heeseung share-
-because there’s only one bed in the center of the room. It’s not even king size, barely a queen. Jungwon groans and pushes his backpack with his foot further into the room. “This must be a fucking joke.”
Jay snorts. “It’s fine, we shared a bed before, in I-Land. Those beds were smaller than this.”
But back then, Jungwon didn’t like Jay like this, or at least he wasn’t aware. Now, the thought of sharing a bed with someone who makes him feel this strange makes him want to melt into a puddle and evaporate.
“Unless you’re really against it,” Jay continues. I can sleep on the floor, it’s okay.”
It isn’t okay, they both know it. It’s not okay for Jungwon to sleep on the bed and Jay to be on the floor, it’s not only not okay but also completely unacceptable.
“Absolutely not,” Jungwon shakes his head. “We’ll share the bed. It’s no big deal.”
“You look terrified, though,” Jay frowns as he sits on the only bed in the room. “If it’s really such a problem, I’ll sleep on the living room sofa.”
“Shut it,” Jungwon pats his head affectionately. Jay looks up and smiles at him. Jungwon feels like he could die.
~~*~~
“A birdie told me you’d be cuddling up with Jay hyung tonight,” Sunoo chuckles and dodges as Jungwon tries to slap his shoulder. “What? It’s true!” Their microphones are off for a bit and they’re far enough from the cameras so he feels comfortable saying that.
“We won’t be cuddling. We don’t cuddle!” Jungwon sighs and sits on the camping chair. “We’ll just share a bed. No biggie.”
“You’re already popping a boner just thinking about it. No biggie my ass,” Sunoo snorts. “Tell that to someone who doesn’t know about your crush on hyung.” Everything stops, including Jungwon’s heart. He can hear his pulse loud and clear in his temples. He stands up on his wobbly legs. “…you know?”
“Jungwon-ah, I only know because we’re best friends and because my gaydar is never wrong. Now go get your man, tiger!” The older of the two slaps his ass and shoos him away from the chair so he can sit down. Jungwon laughs and rolls his eyes. In his peripheral vision, he can see Jay looking at him. He waves at him and laughs again, harder, as Jay drops the piece of pork belly that he was grilling and wanted to eat, right back into the flame.
Sunoo is smirking knowingly, once again, his gaydar is never wrong, but neither Jay nor Jungwon can see that.
They play games around the campfire; Jay gently nudges Jungwon’s ankles with his foot whenever he makes fun of the older. It’s nice and comfortable, Jungwon is barely aware of the cameras and the whole staff crew around them. The sky is already dark, the air chilly, and Jay stretches the soft grey blanket over Jungwon’s shoulders. His bare face is glowing, eyes twinkling in the soft warm light of the fire. Jungwon’s heart aches.
Sunoo and Heeseung are arguing over the snacks their crew provided. Mostly because they got mint choco pies for Sunoo and Heeseung claims it’s a hate crime. Jungwon can see that Sunoo wants to call it homophobic, but obviously can’t.
After their meals and snacks, Jungwon thanks the staff on behalf of the whole group. Riki suggests they could play rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s going to clean up, but Jay doesn’t trust his judgement anymore, so he volunteers. Before Jungwon can volunteer with him, Jake offers to help.
“Shower first,” Heeseung tells Jungwon. “I’ll look after the kids.”
~~*~~
There are no cameras in the bedrooms so Jungwon doesn’t have to worry about his idol images too much when he steps into the room with his hair a mess and not so cute pyjamas that don’t even match. He hears the clinking of the dishes and Sunoo’s loud squealing. Riki’s in the shower, Heeseung and Sunghoon are cleaning up the backyard. Jungwon can actually relax for once. He opens Twitter and snoops through Engene’s tweets, laughing at some, horrified at others. (People ship him with who? He’s never even met anyone from Loona!)
Some time later, Jay comes into the room with his hair wet, glasses on and a very tight t-shirt.
“What are you reading?” He asks as he lies down, his pecs pressed against Jungwon’s arm. It’s not weird, not even intimate and Jay is a guy for fucks sake but Jungwon can’t help but be aware of his tiddies.
“Tweets about us,” Jungwon answers. “Some of them scare me.”
“Yeah no shit,” the older man laughs. “Wait until you read a few fanfictions. Then talk about scarring things.” Jungwon shoots him a look. “You read fanfictions?” He can see the red blooming on Jay’s handsome face. “Sleep, Wonnie.”
It’s almost midnight. Jungwon turns off the light and climbs back into the bed, getting comfortable. Jay snuggles up closer to him and Jungwon doesn’t protest. Even if the hand on his hip makes him want to scream. Even if the warm breath tickling his collarbones makes him uncomfortable. He enjoys the closeness.
Jay’s even breathing finally lulls Jungwon to sleep.