Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Neither of them spoke. Words were draining, so they just sat in silence under thin artificial lights in the ship’s hull. Each of them wrapped up in their own inner turmoil.

After four days at sea, Nadja had awoken from her slumber, longing for her husband. She had wanted to climb into his coffin in search of bliss, but all she had found was a tear-stained Guillermo.

At first, Nadja had refused to accept what Laszlo had done, wrecking her brain for an explanation. Then, when it had become clear that he had indeed abandoned her with their bodyguard, she had nearly punched a hole into the side of the ship out of rage and heartbreak.

Guillermo had never seen her so upset. Her fist had left an impressive dent in the steel. She had made no attempt to hide her tears or her anger, which had allowed him to free his own emotions.

Franticly, they had discussed their options, each one of them desperately trying to figure out what to do. Getting back to Staten Island had been their first instinct. Nadja had lamented not being able to fly the distance. She would never make it back out of her own power before sunrise, regardless of what type of bird she’d morph into. Hypnotising the ship’s crew and getting them to turn the boat back around was on the table, but they also abandoned that idea. They were already more than half-way across the ocean, it made no difference what direction they travelled in.

So, reluctantly, they had accepted that they were on their way to England. And now, there was only silence.

*

At some point, they reached a mutual consensus that they needed to find something to eat. They were not sure how they had actually come to that conclusion without saying anything to the other, but it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

Guillermo had only had Oreos for the past few days, and since there was no way Nadja would be able to go back to deep slumber in her present emotional state, they needed to find some sustenance. So, they grabbed one of the crew members who was checking the machine room.

Guillermo took the guy’s jacket, wool hat, keys and identity badge. He was a Fourth Engineer. Good. That sounded like it could work. Giving Nadja a minute to herself, he made his way through the belly of the vessel.

He found a bathroom where he could at least wash his face and freshen up a little. His eyes were red from crying. He wondered if they would stay like that forever. Then, he made his way towards the canteen.

The place was completely abandoned at this time of night, safe for two men drinking coffee at the far end of the room. Nobody paid him any mind. The thing was to act like whatever you were doing was the most normal thing in the world - a trick that had proven useful time and time again in his life.

He took a sandwich and a large fruit cup. It seemed like a good idea to get some vitamins into him. While he slowly ate, he studied the map of the ship’s layout that hung on the wall. Know all you exits. That was another thing to always keep in mind.

The desire for fresh air was overwhelming, so he took the rest of his fruit and walked up to the boat deck. Navigating his way through the giant containers, he was looking for a wind protected spot. It was freezing, but he had never been gladder for the feeling of cold air on his face. His legs still felt wobbly after days locked in a coffin.

“Watch out.”

The voice came out of perfect darkness, causing Guillermo jumped. “Dios mío!”

Nadja glared at him in response to the invocation of God, then directed her gaze to the ground. It was the guy, the engineer, dead at Guillermo’s feet. His neck was broken, and he had two marks at his throat.

Well, she had eaten a little, that was good. He sighed. “Come on, let’s get rid of him.”

Normally, she would have hissed at him for the insolence of asking her to get rid of her kills herself, but this time, she just got up quietly and helped him lift the guy over the side of ship. Guillermo watched as the body plummeted into the depth. He could barely hear the guy hitting the water. The vessel, the wind, the waves, it made all too much noise.

“Come away from there. These are mermaid waters. And those bitches can climb”, Nadja said, tiredly, as she sat down on top of a storage box containing emergency equipment.

“What? Mermaids?” he asked, stunned, turning to look back down at the waters.

“Yes, mermaids. The pretty girls with the tails”, she waved her hand about like a fish moving in water. “They only eat the hearts of young men. Just the heart, nothing else. I mean, I respect anyone’s diet, but this just seems wasteful.”

And indeed, there was a flash of silver near where the body had hit the surface, and the laughter of girls in the distance.

His heart skipped a beat in fright. But then again, he had seen witches, werewolves, ghosts, necromancers and a bababook. Were murderous mermaids really that surprising, at this point?

“How do you always do that?” he asked, and carefully sat down next to her.

“Do what?”

“You always seem to know when mermaids or ghosts or whatever supranatural things are around.”

“Nothing supranatural about any of them”, Nadja shrugged dismissively. “You just need to know what to look out for.”

“The others never notice”, he said, then immediately regretted bringing up their companions.

Nadja remained quiet for a moment. “The others never look.”

They sat in silence for a long while, staring into the night. Almost immediately, his thoughts travelled back to Nandor. Where was he right now? Was he safe? He couldn’t bear to think of him out there on his own. A six-foot vampire dressed like Genghis Khan always attracted undue attention wherever he went. If he could only send a message to him, if he could let him know what had happened! Guillermo’s heart clenched up his chest. The anger he felt at Laszlo was beyond words.

Next to him, Nadja’s face was unreadable, like a blank page. She was pale as the moon, paler than normal. The only remnants of the tears she had cried were the faint traces of mascara on her cheeks.

Guillermo sighed. None of this was helping, even if it couldn’t be helped.

“What else is out there?” he finally asked, pointing at the black waves. It seemed healthy to make conversation. “Are there sea monsters? Snakes and dragons?”

The corner of Nadja’s mouth lifted ever so slightly. She knew what he was doing, of course.

“Not many of them left. Though there were plenty, back in my day”, she said, her eyes unfocused for a moment. “There is still a bunch of sirens, though. Better stay away from them as well.”

“Sirens? Like in the Odyssey?”

“Yes. Selkies, too, but they are fine. Sad girls, mostly.”

‘Sad girls’, Guillermo thought, looking into the darkness.

Chapter Text

“Was he really going to turn you into a vampire? At the banks of the Tigris?”

Guillermo was taken aback by the question. He hadn't been sure if she had even listened when he had first told her about the plan, but now she was looking at him from the other end of the room with these searching eyes…

They had found an empty cabin with two beds and a bathroom. Guillermo slept here, and Nadja came to spend time during the nights. He was not sure how much she actually rested during the day, they were both overtired. Perhaps that was why she had even broached the subject. She was not herself.

Sitting on the other bed, she crossed her legs underneath her. In the dark-coloured dress, billowing around her, she looked a bit like a crow.

He took a moment before he answered. “It’s what Nandor promised.”

She slowly nodded, though it was barely noticeable.

“I think I know why you want it”, she said. “To be a vampire.”

He had not expected that. He had not expected that at all. “Oh?” was all he could respond.

“It’s power. And who ever felt powerless, covets power. No point in my telling you it may not be worth it, I suppose.”

He could only stare at her.

“It’s lonely, you know. Have no illusions about that”, her voice was low, quiet, yet it still cut the air. “Your family will die, as will your friends, and everyone you ever knew. And you will still be here, alone. True, there are other immortal beings in this world. But they are all on their own path down to eternity. And on some days, your body will be a cage.”

He swallowed, trying to think of an answer. “I know”, he said, lamely.

“You say you know, but how could you? There is no way for a mortal to see the other side. And if it is love or acceptance that you seek, then this may not be the thing for you.”

Guillermo’s emotions boiled to a queasy soup in his stomach. What she was saying had to be true, of course, and intellectually, he knew that. He had seen with his own eyes how Nandor had struggled. She might have been right, but still, it oddly stung. He swallowed the bitterness he tasted.

“You have someone who loves you”, he stated, matter of fact, though he knew he was on very thin ice.

“Or so I thought.”

Again, this silence between them, each one studying the other.

“How was it for you, then?” he asked. “Becoming a vampire?”

It was Nadja’s turn to hesitate.

“It was not something I chose. It was done to me”, she eventually responded. “And in those days, it was not particularly advantageous or glamorous to be a vampire. People saw you as a walking corpse, something that needed to be expelled from their midst. And they were completely right to do so. I was a threat to the people I loved, and they did what had to be done.”

She let her words sink in before she spoke again. “There are plenty of us who cannot bear it. They walk into the sunlight.”

He blinked at her. “But you, you didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t. I wanted to live. I was sick of having things done to me. As I said, if you ever felt powerless, power is something you covet”, she explained. “My mortal existence didn’t hold a lot of possibility, so I’d be damned if I let go of this life.”

The atmosphere between them shifted again. For the first time ever, Guillermo considered that, perhaps, Nadja’s human experience may not have been so very different from his own, despite taking place over 500 years ago.

What a peculiar situation they found themselves in. Both trapped on this ship, with each other and their own misery for company. He had no idea how much time passed before she spoke again.

“I can do it, you know. If it’s what you really want.”

“Do what?”

“Make you a vampire.”

His heart skipped several beats. He knew he was terrible at hiding his feelings, especially from someone like Nadja. Especially when she was looking at him like that, her green eyes piercing. Suddenly, he felt very exposed.

“But that’s not really what this is about, is it?” she said. “You are sick for him, I can tell. If he was as ugly as the devil himself, you’d still see the sun shining out of his breeches. It could only ever be him.”

It was obvious who she was referring to. Guillermo felt the heat rising in his face. “I…I don’t…it’s not…”

“Guillermo, calm down, it’s fine”, she raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m Greek.”

---

The man on the floor still let out the occasional ratting breath. Nadja had not yet finished him off. She barely ate, these days, drank only enough from the crew members to get by. She let them live, for the most part, sending them away hypnotised. That was perhaps wise. It would draw too much attention if suddenly a significant number of crew members started disappearing.

Guillermo would need to wait and see what she planned on doing with this one. If he didn’t expire too soon, perhaps she would eat a little more. He was worried about her. She was quiet, introspective, without appetite. The Nadja he knew was tempestuous, easy to anger, foul-mouthed. This subdued version of her, it frightened him a little.

It was difficult to tell what was really going on inside of her, but her pain was obvious like a physical, gashing wound. He knew her thoughts dwelled on her husband. It was all she could think about. Like Nandor was all he could think about. Her trust in Laszlo had been so complete. But now… It seemed that a heart, even if it was no longer beating, could still be breaking.

“Are you looking forward to joining the World Vampiric Council?” he asked, trying to distract her.

She hugged her knees to her chest, staring at a non-existent point in the distance.

“I don’t know”, she finally said. “It feels like a trap now.”

“Oh”, that wasn’t quite the answer Guillermo had hoped for, but he understood why she would feel that way. “It might be a genuine offer”, he said, sounding as hopeful as he could muster.

She shrugged. “Maybe. With Laszlo by my side, I could have dealt with anything, but now I am on my own.”

“You are not on your own. I am here.”

At that, Nadja turned and looked at him for a long time.

Then, she shook her head.

“No, this isn’t right.” She got up and dug through the bag of belongings she had brought to the cabin, pulling out the laptop Guillermo had given her to watch Drag Race.

“Here”, she said. “They have to have Wi-Fi on this ship, right? You know where Nandor is, so book a flight and go there. Or return to New York, do whatever you want. We are arriving Friday evening. You can go straight to the airport.”

He took the laptop but didn’t open it. “Laszlo told me to take care of you. To be your bodyguard.”

Nadja scoffed at that. “For fuck’s sake, Guillermo, you are not my familiar, and you are not my bodyguard. You don’t have to do anything, just because Laszlo thinks he can command it. And you have to stop living your life for others.”

Still, he hesitated, looking up at her. “You said it yourself, this might be a trap. I cannot leave you.” His gaze was so sincere, it softened her, just a little.

“If it’s a trap, I’ll have to find my own way out of it, won’t I?”, she shook her hair. “Don’t you worry about me, dear boy. I’ll be fine. I was fine for centuries before any of you came along and I will be fine again.”

“Laszlo will kill me”, he muttered in response, slowly opening the laptop.

“It’s rather Laszlo who has something to fear from you, not the other way round. And neither one of us is Laszlo’s business anymore. I am sure he had his good reasons for what he did, but whatever it was, he made his decision not to come with me. So, it is now my turn to decide a couple of things for my own sake. And the same goes for you.”

Slowly, Guillermo nodded.

“Since when do you know what Wi-Fi is?” he asked, as he typed in the web address.

He could hear the slight grin in her voice. “I sometimes listen to what you say, you know.”

Chapter Text

Finally, after days at sea, they reached England that Friday.

They had nailed up the boxes containing the two coffins again. Guillermo checked the delivery tags to make sure they would be delivered to the correct location - a shell address provided by the Vampiric Council. And now, all they had to do was to wait until they docked. It would take a while before the unloading of the light cargo began.

Refusing to sit out the time in her coffin, Nadja had stayed with Guillermo. The stress of the days at sea – the confusion, the waiting, the ache and the anger – had drained them both, and yet left them with amounts of pent-up energy.

Not sure what to expect at their arrival, Nadja had put on a simple black dress. Her make-up was immaculate. Instead of the elaborate hair styles she usually favoured, she had let her dark tresses fall loosely. Guillermo made sure the curls cascaded down her shoulders neatly.

Soon, their paths would part again. She had decided to take her chances with the Vampiric Council, and Guillermo had booked a flight to New York early Saturday morning. He had thanked all his angels for having put his passport into the breast pocket of his jacket the day he had meant to leave with Nandor.

Still, he felt guilty for leaving Nadja to her own devices, even though it had been her choice to go it alone. She was not his responsibility anymore – never really had been – and was certainly strong enough to fend for herself. He remembered the dent her fist had left in the ship’s hull.

“I wish we could go out and get drunk or something”, he said, absentmindedly, as he put on a white shirt he had nicked from one of the crew. “Seems like the thing to do.”

Nadja blinked at him, thinking for a moment.

“You know, that would not be a bad idea actually.”

*

When their turn to disembark finally came, they simply followed the last of the crew members. A wave of Nadja’s hand silenced all questions.

The night air that greeted them was slightly warmer than the one in New York, but otherwise not much different. The streets were wet from the rain.

“Nadja of Antipaxos”, the voice, more of a hiss than anything else, came out of the darkness and startled them both. A man, dressed in a dark suit, had been waiting for them in the shadows outside the arrival area. “Welcome back to England.”

“Thank you”, she responded, carefully, studying the stranger. Her senses were heightened, and Guillermo was glad for it. He wanted her to be on her guard.

The man handed Nadja a card. It had the logo of the Vampiric Council on the back.

“Blackwood”, she read out loud, then handed the piece of paper over to Guillermo, who held it up against the light, checking for any hidden messages on the card. Their last encounter with the Council had taught him to be cautious.

“Your humble servant, Milady”, he bowed slightly. “My assistants and I are here to take care of your luggage and to accompany you to our destination.” He waved his hands at a number of wraiths waiting in the background. Then, Blackwood flashed Guillermo a slightly confused and annoyed look. “Forgive me, Milady, is your husband not with you?”

“No, it’s just me.” Nothing in her voice or demeanour outwardly betrayed her emotions when she spoke the words.

“Very well”, Blackwood did not seem to mind. “This letter has arrived for you.”

He handed Nadja an envelope. The handwriting and the wax seal left no doubt who the sender was. Without hesitation, she ripped the letter open with one sharp nail, the desire to read Laszlo’s words was too strong.

Her gaze darkened as she went through the pages.

Then, she handed them to Guillermo. “Read it”, she instructed.

The bodyguard skimmed over Laszlo’s looped handwriting, processing his explanation of needing to protect someone much more in need of care than his wife, and his desire to not send her to England on her own despite that. The vampire’s love for Nadja was so clearly on the pages. But it explained nothing.

“What does it mean?” Guillermo asked, handing her back the letter. His confusion had only increased. What the hell was going on in Staten Island?

“I don’t know”, Nadja conceded, folding the pages and carefully tucking them into the bodice of her dress.

Outwardly composed, she addressed Blackwood. “My companion and I, we have some business to attend to tonight. I will not be coming with you.”

“Very well, milady”, Blackwood bowed again. “We will find you when it is time.” He signalled the rakes to collect Nadja’s coffin.

*

They took a cab, sitting next to each other in the back without saying a word. Guillermo had no idea where they were going, but Nadja did seem to have a sense of direction.

They were dropped off at an historical-looking part of the city. The streets were lively, and music was coming from pubs and bars.

“Let’s hope it’s still here”, Nadja took a quick look around, sighing. “You are gone barely 150 years, and they rearrange the whole city”, she mumbled, more to herself than to Guillermo.

Then, she seemed to spot what she was looking for. She led Guillermo down alleyways and through courtyards. The music and the chatter of the people in the streets grew distant.

Finally, they reached a narrow, black door. She knocked three times.

The man who opened was very tall and large, wearing a leather apron. A shock of long, dark brown hair was tied to a messy bun at the nape of his neck. A long scar ran across his throat. Guillermo flinched at his sight, fighting the urge to run.

Nadja had crossed her arms behind her back, looking up at the man with big, soft eyes.

It took a second before he spoke, and Eastern European accent colouring his deep voice. “Well, shit.”

Nadja chuckled a little at that. “Nice to see you too, Vassily.”

“Nadja!” he almost whispered, his large hand cradling her cheek. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes! Didn’t think you’d ever come back!” Vassily took her hand and kissed it. “What are you doing here?”

“Right now, we are looking for a drink”, she said, nodding her head back at Guillermo. “Can we come in?”

Vassily gave Guillermo a dubious look. “Your familiar?”

Nadja shook her head. “No. But he is alright, I vouch for him.”

The man nodded at that. “Come in”, he swung the door open.

Feeling his nervousness, Nadja turned to Guillermo. “Just be like… water in water.”

*

The place was gloomy, the interior looking like it had not been changed since Victorian days. In stark contrast, relatively recent music was playing.

Guillermo scanned the room. A significant number of vampires, demons and other creatures mixed with rather suspicious-looking mortals. Nobody was paying them much attention, but some other vampires briefly nodding at Nadja.

Perhaps they were old acquaintances of hers? Or perhaps they were just recognising one of their own in her. Guillermo followed her as closely as possible.

Vassily placed three shot glasses in front of Nadja, filled with a red liquid. Blood liquor. He did the same for Guillermo with tequila.

Nadja knocked the liquid down, all three glasses in a row, without a moment of hesitation. ‘Fuck it’, Guillermo thought, and did the same. What did he have to lose?

The alcohol hit home for both of them. After everything that had happened, it felt freeing.

As the evening progressed, and more drinks were consumed, people started to dance in the dimly lit room. Nadja and Guillermo joined in.

‘Be like water in water’, turned out to be good advice. So he, the slayer, mixed with vampires and demons, getting rid of the emotional weight of the past few days. It was a rare moment when he felt like he could breathe. After all, what did it matter now? All that mattered was the present. And right now, he was dancing with Nadja. With her, he dissolved in the crowd.

*

They made their way through the wet streets. The booze, the rush of blood to the head, was slowly ebbing off. Dawn was approaching. He would soon need to leave for the airport, and Nadja would need to seek shelter for the day.

She waited while he bought food at a Mexican street food stall.

“No fish and chips?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Doesn’t have the best of reputations”, Guillermo smiled sheepishly. “I’m just feeling a bit homesick.”

Nadja nodded. That was something she could understand. “How does it taste?”

“It’s delicious”, he responded. “What food did you like when you were human?”

She needed to think about this for a while, trying to remember that aspect of her mortal life. “There wasn’t a whole lot of food to go around. Mostly bread, olives, fish and wine. Donkey meat, when things got really rough. I cannot recommend that, though.”

Guillermo had to laugh at her facial expression. “I believe you.”

They walked for a while in silence, each of them in their own thoughts. He noticed her eyes was downcast, and she was again retreating into herself.

“I think you’ll be great at the Council”, he told her. “You are good at leading. And you are good at being a vampire.”

Her typical lopsided smile appeared on her face, but there was no mirth in it. “It feels strange. I don’t know if I can trust it. A couple of months ago, the Council was trying to kill us. And now they want me to work for them.”

She had voiced the fear Guillermo had also had in the back of his mind since he had seen the video message the Council had sent to Nadja. But she had been so happy about the possibility of it all. “Well, to be honest, vampires apply their rules rather liberally. One day vampicide is the biggest crime, the next day it’s considered a power move.”

Nadja didn’t say anything in response.

“Just…promise me to be on your guard, ok?” he asked, throwing his empty food container in a bin. “And please find a way to send me a message. Let me know how you are getting on. Otherwise, I’ll worry.”

Normally, Nadja would have only hissed or laughed in response at such a request from him, but this time, she nodded. “I will try.”

“Just don’t send ravens. Nobody gets that.”

She smiled a bit at that. “I’ll find a better way.”

They came to Victoria Station. Nadja stopped, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

“You know, if this whole Council thing doesn’t work out, I thought about going back to Greece for a while. If they don’t kill me first, that is”, she said, without much humour. “Just in case…someone would ask about me.”

He understood of course who she meant. “To Antipaxos?”

“Or thereabouts.”

“If ‘someone’ asks me, I will tell them that you have gone to Antipaxos or thereabouts.”

“Thank you, Guillermo.”

*

When they said their goodbyes, he hugged her. She allowed it to go on for a moment.

“It’s been…nice”, she said, repeating the same words she had said to him only a few days prior. Except, this time, she did not have a smile on her face. “All things considered.”

“Good luck”, he said, as he got into a taxi. “And good journey.”

“Good journey”, she echoed.

When the car left, he turned to look at her from the back window. A vampire in a black dress, over 500 years old. Looking like a woman out of a Renaissance painting. Her heart wounded, just like his.

He watched as a black car pulled up next to her. She got inside.