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Sou Hiyori always knew he would be perceived as the scary friend… Disconnected when interacting with humans since early childhood, Sou only emphasized the need to blend in for survival. He felt no desire to befriend unless it was for a gain of some sort. To cure the chronic boredom and loneliness, to find some level of similarity, to become intrigued for once in his life full of existential dread and dead.
He mainly dabbled in his fair share of sensation-seeking bonds: substance use, reckless sex, gambling, and the oh-so casual arson that embodied his entanglements of adolescence. Bonding with others served as a gateway to adrenaline and feeling, a means to an end. When you’re born deceased, you live deceased. When you’re born without fear, you crave what you can only imagine fear tastes like.
Sou never even began to imagine the likelihood of experiencing love. According to what many have thought or have told him due to his ASPD diagnosis, he was incapable of love without manipulation or abusive tendencies. He went along with that notion since it fit his self-serving nature of living anyways. Why would he even bother to get close enough to another human when he was destined to rip them to fragments, to ashes… From limb to limb, says the masses. He shook this from his mind and regained focus as he received his newest assignment by Asu-Naro for death game recruitment. Sou Hiyori was assigned to the one named Shin Tsukimi.
Prior to this assignment, Sou had strived to never leave a trace after his presence happened to touch another’s. Although he was asked to drag Tsukimi into the depths of another Asu-Naro death game, his intentions encountered a predicament… This teal-headed human was intriguing. He didn’t quite understand how or why at first, but in time it had come to him.
Shin was what Sou Hiyori had always viewed in his mind as the embodiment of good. Idealistic views about how change occurs in the world, talents and skills utilized for the sheer aspect of self-development and learning who he really is. Shin didn’t have any gain to obtain by spending time with Sou, not a single gain other than enjoying his naturally discomforting company. Shin was lonely, didn’t have the upbringing Sou had where he was viewed as an extension of the family and obligated to be just that. Shin had free will, a future, a glowing sense of positivity that flowed through his veins to his bright red cheeks and unfeigned smile. Sou cherished this person… He felt possessive and obsessive. Protective. He would do anything to maintain the life in this soul. Even if that meant that sacrificing his own…
The two had spent countless hours at Sou’s home, coding and sharing perspectives when it came to humanity. Shin had an optimistic view that was quite naive in a sense to Sou, but understandably so. He hadn’t yet encountered the savagery that can come without notice. He hadn’t yet understood the reason to approach others with mistrust.
Sou developed such an affection for Shin that could only be described in his mind and through actions. He had taken Shin to various scenic views and saved multiple Polaroids to frame shortly after. Shin was always the only one in the photographs for a reason… if Asu-Naro found out he had gotten so close to his assigned participant, they would both likely be killed. He was Asu-Naro by blood, after all. With blood ties comes more blood to be shed if within arms reach.
“Hiyori… you always sit here sipping water and staring at me, saying you’re overheated. Is something wrong?” Shin pondered out loud. This was the question that Hiyori had been dreading… His frequent sweating and sipping water had been a subtle way to hide what had truly lied within. Sou Hiyori was experiencing the fear of death for the first time, while also experiencing the fear of love. To Sou, the two had become interchangeable now. To love was to eventually die, to lead another to their early grave without being able to cherish them fully…
Sou realized that he often scared Shin with his descriptions of humanity, and his desensitized nature when faced with brutality or what others would view as disturbing. Shin’s face was a face of shock, an innocent reaction to the harsh realities Sou had witnessed firsthand throughout life. Sou thought he was preparing Shin by having these discussions, strengthening him for the unavoidable future. For the soon approaching death game…
He may have enjoyed Shin’s reactions in a manner that may have come across as overtly sadistic, but he felt a sense of cuteness in Shin’s authenticity. His humanity was beautiful to Sou. So beautiful, he had then made the decision to abruptly exit his life for the better.
Sou received a notification that he had gotten what he asked for. He was going to also be a participant in the upcoming death game. The nature of how he would be participating, though, was as expected from Asu-Naro. They realized that Sou was spending more time with Shin than the others he was asked to provide consent forms to. They realized that Shin was someone that Sou had become fond of, so fond of that he was not as clear-headed and strong as he usually was.
Sou was informed that he would be placed in the first trial with Shin Tsukimi. The trial required only one of them to leave the room alive, a last man standing scenario for two participants who developed a sense of love and attachment to each-other. It was at this time that Sou knew he had to disappear, to kill Sou Hiyori. Whether his death had to be real or falsified, he knew it had to be done. During a moment where Shin was away at his convenience store shift, Sou left his scarf, a few codes with intention of appearing as seemingly meaningless clues, and a note.
If this doesn’t work… I’ll need to make him hate me, Sou thought to himself. He would need to rid Shin of all context behind the oddities of their relationship. He would need to become a convincing villain, a fearful force Shin could use if he needed. But for now, Sou was fully committed to becoming a memory…