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Regina was in the kitchen, working herself into a panic. The Charming's were due for Christmas lunch in just over an hour and she'd somehow managed to burn the turkey. She'd never burned anything in her entire life and she'd managed to pick the completely wrong time to mess it up now. What a nightmare.
Robin strutted into the room just as she was desperately attempting to scrape off all the black bits, to absolutely no success.
'Regina, that's not our turkey, is it?' He grimaced.
'No, Robin. It's the Christmas bloody pudding,' she spat out.
'Oh, that's good then. You had me worried for a moment there,' he sighed in relief.
Regina couldn't help herself, her lip curled up in disgust as she shot him an accusing glare. 'Of course it's the fucking turkey. Clearly someone's adjusted my oven and now it's ruined.'
'I hardly think that anyone would have touched the oven, Regina,' he said placatingly, 'the kids know better than that.'
'I'm not accusing the children, I'm accusing you. You never wanted us to have this big dinner in the first place and I've never burned anything before. You must have done something to it,' she yelled.
'I never touched your damn oven. Maybe you're just a bad cook!' Robin roared back. 'And it has nothing to do with me not wanting a big dinner. It's to do with the fact that you can't keep your eyes off Emma fucking Swan anytime she's around.
'I don't know what you mean. I don't look at Miss Swan anymore than I would anybody else. And I'd highly suggest you never insult my cooking again, or you'll be sleeping in the woods with you merry fucking men,' Regina bit out.
When Robin just stood staring at her in shock, she added, 'I suggest that you get out of here and leave me alone before I say something I regret. I'm sure you can manage to occupy yourself and the children for an hour?' And she turned back to her chargrilled turkey, effectively shutting off any more conversation.
She sighed as she heard him storm into the lounge. Bloody men! She didn't even know why they were still together at this point, all they seemed to do was fight these days. And what he had said about Emma was completely outlandish. Just who the hell did he think he was?
She looked down and found to her surprise that once all the black bits had been scraped off, the turkey actually looked perfectly acceptable. She smiled in satisfaction. Maybe this dinner wouldn't go too badly after all.
She was just putting her roast potatoes into the oven, when the doorbell let out an obnoxiously loud rrrrringgggg. She glanced at her watch and wondered who it could be. The guests weren't due for another hour yet and she still had a million and one things to do.
'Don't all hurry at once,' Robin huffed from the hallway, 'I'll get the door.'
Regina chose to ignore this and continue making the food. She wanted everything to be ready for the Charming's arrival, and god help anyone that messed this day up. She was desperate to give Henry this one perfect day with all of his family around him.
All the food prep was done and she started to head into the hallway to see what was taking Robin so long. She couldn't wait to sit down with a nice glass of wine and a hopefully happier boyfriend.
She was just about to walk out of the room when an extremely bedraggled Emma rushed into the kitchen, sweating profusely and gasping for breath. Robin hurried into the room behind her red-faced and fuming.
'I told you that she was busy. Just because you're the Sheriff now, that doesn't give you the right to barge into any house that you want,' he ranted.
He had just leaned forwards to roughly grab at Emma's arm when Regina saw red. She waved her hand and he flew backwards into the wall.
'Just what the hell are you playing at? Are you seriously going to try and lay your hands on a woman for absolutely no reason? Get out and calm down!' She commanded.
Robin immediately backed down and a look of shame crossed his face. 'I'm so sorry, Regina. I really don't know what I was thinking.'
'I'm not the one you should be apologising to,' she pointed out, jerking her eyes in Emma's direction.
'Right,' said Robin reluctantly. 'I'm really very sorry Emma. I don't know what came over me. It won't happen again.' He flushed red and left the room hastily.
'I'm really sorry for interrupting Regina. I know I shouldn't have just rushed in here but I needed to see you before everyone else gets here and he wouldn't let me through the door.' The blonde looked completely baffled by his reaction and Regina didn't blame her one bit.
'It's fine, Miss Swan. I was just finishing up, and Robin was overreacting. I think he's just feeling a little stressed today, what with all of the guests coming.'
She didn't know why she was defending him, when there was no good reason for him to have acted that disgustingly. But she didn't want Emma, or anyone else for that matter, to know that she couldn't even make a relationship with her soulmate work.
'What is it you wanted?' Regina added.
Emma took a deep breath before she blurted out, 'I think Hook plans to propose to me at dinner and I really don't want to marry him.'
'What?' Regina spat out angrily, before she quickly schooled her features and calmed herself down. 'Why wouldn't you want to marry him? I thought you were in love. Didn't you just go on a weekend away together?'
The blonde stared at her in amazement. 'Regina,' she began slowly. 'He took me on a bloody pirate ship. We spent two days at sea. I vomited all over the deck multiple times and over Hook at least twice. You know that I get sea sick ever since that trip back from Neverland. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I had to listen to hours upon hours of stories about some stupid man called Blackbeard, while he insisted that I call him Captain Hook. The man's insane!'
Regina couldn't help herself, she doubled over as she roared with laughter. Of all of the trips that Killian could have came up with, he had to have picked the one that Emma would hate the most. This was just precious. She tried to ignore the rush of relief she felt at hearing this news.
'I don't know why you're laughing about this, Madam Mayor,' Emma muttered with a pout. 'How am I going to get out of this?'
'I'm sorry, Emma. But this is one of the funniest things I've heard in a while. You've really made my day,' Regina breathed out with a giggle.
'This is serious, Gina!' Regina felt her heart skip a beat at the use of her nickname, it wasn't often that people used it. 'You really need to help me.... Please?' Emma added as an afterthought.
'You're probably just panicking over nothing, Emma.'
Regina noticed a sweet smile appear on the blonde's face at the use of her first name. She really was very beautiful! She quickly pushed that thought away. Where had that even come from?
'You don't know that for sure,' the blonde stated.
'Ok, fine! What makes you think that he's going to propose?' The Mayor gently questioned.
'I found the ring in his pocket when I was doing the laundry, so I stole the box and hid it in Henry's room. But that's not all, I went back to check on it this morning and it's gone! What if he's found it?' Emma started to panic.
Regina spluttered with laughter again. 'I really don't think you realise just how funny all of this is!' She smirked.
'I'm not laughing!' The blonde said stubbornly.
'Maybe you should. It might actually relax you for a change. You always look so tense these days,' Regina pointed out.
'You'd be tense as well, if the boyfriend you were just about to break up with was so far in denial that he actually thought proposing marriage would be a brilliant idea!' Emma said.
'Then why are you even with him? Just break up,' Regina suggested.
'Don't you think that I've tried that. Every time I even hint that we might not be compatible as a couple, he starts crying,' she said in a strained voice.
The Mayor grinned at this. She would make sure to remember this moment every time she needed a laugh. Emma really knew how to get herself in a mess.
She'd just stepped forward to give the blonde's shoulder a reassuring squeeze when they heard Robin talking to someone in the hallway. Suddenly he shouted through to them.
'Killian's here! I'll just send him through, shall I?'
'OMG, no!' Emma said in horror. 'You need to hide me.'
'What?' Regina chuckled.
'Hide me. Now!' Emma demanded, as she attempted to duck behind Regina.
'You can't be serious right now?' The Mayor asked in shock.
'Just do it,' the blonde beseeched, just as the pirate strolled through the entryway.
He glanced around the room and noticed Emma as Regina smartly stepped away from her. This should be fun.
'Swan? Are you hiding?' Killian asked aghast.
'What? No! Of course I wasn't. I was just tying my laces,' she explained.
'You're wearing boots,' he pointed out.
'So?' Emma asked.
He just rolled his eyes at her before shaking his head. Sometimes Emma was so weird. But her hotness more than made up for it.
'Why are you here?' Regina rudely demanded.
Killian schooled his look of shock into a more neutral expression before replying. 'Right. Yes, of course. I came here to let you know that everyone is already heading over.'
'What?' The Mayor screeched in panic. 'The food isn't even done yet. It's going to be another 45 minutes at least.'
'I told Snow that you wouldn't like it, but she's insisting that they come over early in order to help you out,' the pirate explained uncomfortably.
'I can't believe this. It's just like the pure Snow White to assume that I'm incapable of making dinner for everyone,' she foamed.
'That's a bit unfair, Regina. I'm sure that she's just trying to be helpful,' Emma said calmly.
'I beg you're pardon, Miss Swan. But I've been dealing with your mother long before you were even thought of. I know what she's trying to do. She's trying to show everyone that she's better than I am.'
It seemed they had bypassed the use of first names and were back to more formal titles again. 'Ok,' the blonde placated. 'I'm sure you can just tell her that you've got this handled. I'll keep her busy in the lounge so she doesn't bother you.'
Regina quickly deflated. 'Fine! But keep the noise down. I don't want to have to listen to Snow's annoying voice while I'm trying to cook.'
'No problem. That will be them now,' Emma said, cocking her head at the sound of the doorbell. She hurried to answer the door and roughly pulled her mother into the lounge, where she could see Robin, Henry and Roland watching a Christmas film on the sofa.
'Hey, Ma,' Henry called out, at the same time as Roland shouted, 'Hello, Emma.' She gave them a quick wave before turning to face a confused Snow White and an equally confused David who had followed behind them, Killian was lurking in the doorway smirking at Emma. Baby Neal was held in her dad's arms and was frantically waving his chubby little fists in the hopes that someone would pay him some attention.
'Not now, Neal,' David said gently. 'Here, Henry. Do me a favour and hold your uncle while we talk to your mom.' And he gently handed over the baby, who was placed on the sofa and was soon absorbed in the images on the screen.
'Can you make it quick, honey. I really want to go and help Regina with the cooking. She must have so much to do,' Snow said.
'That's the thing, Mom. Regina says she's got it; she doesn't need you to help her but she's very grateful for the offer. She says it was very kind of you to think of her,' Emma rushed out, in the hopes that the faster she spoke the less chance there would be that anyone would notice her whopping great lie. The mayor had definitely never mentioned being grateful and she certainly hadn't said the word kind.
'Oh.' Mary-Margaret immediately looked disappointed. 'Are you sure I couldn't just make the gravy or something? I'm sure if I just go in there she will be able to find something for me to do.'
'No! She doesn't want you to disturb her. I mean, she's in the zone or something. Why don't we watch the film with the kids? It will be some nice family time for us,' Emma suggested.
'That sounds lovely, honey,' David said indulgently. And he gently guided his wife over to the sofa and sat her down. All in all, it was actually quite nice watching Christmas movies together and even Robin wasn't as unbearable as he usually was. Shame the same couldn't be said for Hook though, as he was sat so close to her that he was practically in her lap.
Emma was jolted awake half an hour later by the sounds of glass shattering and the sounds of Regina screaming in fury. She quickly disentangled herself from the pirate leech and ran into the kitchen to be confronted with a nightmare of a scene.
All over the tiles were what looked like mushed baby food, Snow was crouched in the corner sobbing desperately while Regina stood over her red-faced and yelling. 'Look what you've done. I told you I didn't need you in here, yet you came in anyway and completely destroyed my roast potatoes.'
'I'm sorry, Regina. I just wanted to help, I promise,' Snow cried.
'We all know your promises don't mean a thing,' Regina said bitterly, jabbing her finger at her angrily. 'Just get out. NOW!'
Snow hastily got up and rushed out of the room and into David's waiting arms, where he proceeded to comfort her while steering her back into the living area. The mayor took a few deep breaths, desperately trying to calm herself.
'Are you ok?' Emma asked timidly. Regina spun round in shock.
'I didn't see you there. Look, I'm sorry for shouting at your mother, but she's completely ruined everything.' The brunette said with tear-filled eyes.
'You don't need to explain anything to me. I know how she can be.' The blonde stepped forward shyly. 'Come here, Gina,' she said, opening her arms as the mayor rushed towards her.
And that's the scene that Robin walked into five minutes later. Potatoes splattered all over and Emma and Regina stood embracing in the middle of it.
He had just opened his mouth to ask what the hell they thought they were doing when Emma beat him to it. 'Hey, Robin. I think Regina's having a bit of a tough day. Why don't you come and take over and I'll go and make sure Mary-Margaret doesn't cause any more damage.' She gently pulled away, patting Gina on the back before she exited the room with a smile.
The sheriff successfully managed to keep Snow suitably busy for the next hour by roping her in to help set up the table and clear the room of most of the toys. So it was a much calmer Regina that entered after and conjured all of the food onto the waiting table, minus her roast potatoes, of course.
They'd all just settled into chairs and were helping themselves to the food, while complimenting Regina generously on what a fantastic job she had done. Killian, in a sudden act of chivalry, insisted on playing Emma's food up for her. Not in the mood for an argument today, she allowed it.
She'd just taken a massive bite of her carrots when something lodged in her throat and she began to choke. Frantically, she gestured at herself as she slowly turned blue. Killian leapt behind her and started giving her the heimlich. After the second thrust, she turned to the side and promptly vomited all over Robin Hood, who looked torn between fury and disgust. His immediate reaction was to push his chair back and he ended up landing the chair leg right on Hook's foot and there was an audible snap as bones broke. Killian started howling and it took Charming a good five minutes to calm him down.
Emma looked over at Hood and noticed that right in the middle of the pool of sick, sat a diamond ring.
'Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Robin. What the hell are you playing at Killian? You could have killed me,' she said, angrily turning to face the embarrassed pirate.
'Well that wasn't the reaction I expected but I guess I should finish what I've started,' he said with a wicked grin, as he limped back over to her.
He was just about to get down on one knee when Emma grabbed his arm and dragged him back up. 'Don't you dare!' She growled. 'I've already told that this isn't what I want, ok. Don't make a scene.'
He sat back down with a glare. 'I really am sorry, Robin,' she muttered again. 'I'm just going to go and clean myself up.' And she rushed to the bathroom to clean off her top and use the spare toothbrush. She came back feeling a lot fresher.
Timidly, she went back into the dining room and came face to face with Regina who was heading her way with a worried look on her face. 'Are you alright?' She enquired.
'Yeah,' she sighed out. 'That bloody pirate. I knew he'd found the ring. What an imbecile.'
Regina had just grasped her arm to lead her back to the table when Henry's voice carried across the room. 'Oooooo! Moms, look. You're standing under the mistletoe,' he said slyly, with a grin on his face.
The two women both looked up simultaneously before glancing at each other embarrassed.
'You have to kiss. It's the rules!' Henry stated as Snow started to cough.
'I'm sure that wouldn't be a good idea,' interrupted Killian, while Robin nodded along behind him.
'Yeah, Henry. I don't think that they should,' he added.
Regina and Emma both raised their eyebrows in challenge before turning to face each other and smacking their lips together. The kiss lasted far longer than was decent and by the time that they pulled apart, their boyfriends were stood up and glaring furiously. Snow White was stood in the corner covering her eyes and crying bitterly.
'Just what the hell was that?' Robin growled.
'Sorry,' Emma shrugged, not feeling sorry at all. Her lips were still tingling and she shot a shy smile at the mayor who eagerly returned it.
'She's my girlfriend,' he bit out.
'Yeah? Well she's my...' Emma stuttered to a stop, desperately thinking of a way to describe what Regina was to her. 'Gina,' she finished lamely.
'You can't just go round kissing people in front of me,' Killian snapped.
'Actually, I can. You need to listen to me. We are not together,' she said slowly and clearly. 'I'm really sorry, but I just don't feel that way for you.'
'You don't mean that, Swan!' He stated.
'I really do,' she said exasperatedly.
'How could you not fancy me?' He snarked. 'I'm everything you want.'
'Actually, I'd rather have a woman,' she whispered.
Everyone stared at her in shock, Regina included.
'Mom? You're a lesbian?' Henry asked.
'Yes!' Emma stated firmly, blushing a deep red.
'Brilliant!' He grinned.
All the colour drained out of Snow White's face and she fell to the floor in a dead faint, Charming stood next to her trying his best not to laugh but failing spectacularly.
'You never told me you were gay, Emma,' Regina said, the hurt evident in her voice.
'Sorry, Gina. It never seemed like the right time and I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.'
'I'd have never felt uncomfortable,' the brunette said earnestly.
'You wouldn't?'
'No! I love you,' she whispered.
Emma spluttered out. 'You love me?'
'Yes. But I assumed that you were straight,' Regina said uncomfortably.
It was a that point that Robin started yelling, Regina and Emma spun round having completely forgotten that he was even still there. 'What the hell is wrong with you two. Declaring your love for each other while your boyfriends are standing right here. You make me sick!'
'Actually, I haven't declared my love for anyone yet,' Emma said sarcastically. 'Not that I wasn't going to,' she corrected herself at a glare from Regina.
'That's it! It's either me or her, Regina. Choose now,' he demanded.
'I choose Emma,' she said instantly.
'What? This is the worst day of my life!' He screeched, before storming out of the house with Roland and Killian following behind.
'This is the best day of mine,' Henry laughed before rushing to embrace his mom's.
As the front door slammed, there was a puff of green smoke and Zelena materialised in Robin's empty seat. 'Ah, just in time for dinner I see. Perfect timing,' she grinned.
She looked around at everyone when they remained silent, slyly taking in Emma and Regina wrapped around each other, and Snow White still unconscious on the floor.
'Finally killed her off, baby sis. Guess you didn't manage to stay light for very long then, not that I can say that I blame you,' she smirked, digging into the turkey.
'I see that you've not bothered doing any roast potatoes. Take on too much did you? I can't say that I'm surprised if I'm honest. You always did think you could do it all.'
At a glare from Emma she finally quietened down. 'Ok, ok, I'll behave,' she allowed.
Henry led Emma and Regina, who were hand in hand back to the table where they sat down.
'I see that I seemed to have missed quite a bit,' Zelena said. 'I must say that I'm glad to be seeing the back of that awful pirate and that bloody forest boy, though. Finally came to your senses, did you and realise that you actually loved each other?' Henry sat next to his aunt as they shared a knowing look.
'Actually,' said Regina, raising an eye brow. 'Emma hasn't said that she loves me at all but I'm sure that she was about to.'
Emma laughed as she leaned into the mayor's side. 'Of course I love you, your majesty. How could I not?' She smirked.
'It's about time,' muttered David. Everyone jumped, having completely forgotten that he'd been there the whole time.