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Why? Why am I falling in love with someone I don’t even know!?
Shin had his face buried into a pillow that the kidnappers had so graciously given him, along with tons of clothes, toothbrushes and other personal hygiene items. Maybe they aren’t so bad after all?
No, no. They’re the ones that put me in this damned death game. Which makes it even worse that I’m falling for her…
“ Her” obviously being Sara Chidouin, his rival throughout the death game. It hadn’t been that long since he had met the girl. Her beautiful orange hair and athletic build had captivated him since the beginning. He looked into her violet eyes from a distance, wondering so much about her, dying to know what the girl was hiding.
In a place like this… catching feelings for someone… God, I'm such a disgrace…
The hacker had chosen her to be his partner when investigating the first time, after psyching himself up a lot, he asked her and they managed to work together pretty well.
I only chose her because of her win percentage. That is all… I had to find out what made hers so high…
Why then? Why did I enjoy every second I spent by her side so much? Why does she always seem to know exactly what to say?
Shin hid deeper into his pillow pile, trying to lose himself in comfort to try and avoid his unfortunate crush. The fact that it had happened so fast was very troubling.
Why her of all people? She's still in high school, damn it! Why does she remind me so much of… him…?
He had to stop for a second after that realization. Even after so much time had passed, he was still hurting over it?
He had told himself that he'd stop hoping that one day, he'd magically come back, however…
I never… no… I'm just projecting him onto her…
Shin was scared of her. In much the same way that he was scared of his former "friend". Ever since he saw the papers with win rates on them, he'd felt she was a presence not to be trifled with.
That was also why he wanted to mess with her so badly. To see if she would react. To see if he could get her to somehow give him attention.
Do I really love her? No, that can't be it. I'm just starved for affection, even I realize that. I just miss Hiyori. She has nothing to do with it.
These urges to love, these urges to trust. They weren't compatible with their position at all. Every time Shin tried to challenge her, it was a pathetic, awkward mix of his attempts to get attention from her while trying to stay alive. His mind told him to survive and go unnoticed, but his heart told him to scream out a passion filled confession. It made his chest feel like bursting. How were these emotions getting in the way of doing the logical thing?
I don’t know enough about her to love her.
I don’t know enough about her to love her.
I don’t know. Love her.
I love her.
FUCK
I'll just…
Sleep it off...
The teal haired young man closed his eyes, trying to think about anything other than Sara. He could concern himself with how to get out of this place, for example. He could think about protecting Kanna. He could focus on his breathing, slowly letting go of everything else, and drifting off to sleep…
No such luck with that, as Shin was too bothered by Miss Sara still. He groaned in frustration.
She… doesn't treat me like she likes me… so cold… but I haven't really been myself, have I…
She wouldn't like me even if I had been my regular self.
Maybe if I just was honest she'd… she'd tell me she loves me too… and she'd forgive me for everything I've done… hahaha…
No, that's stupid… she'd never fall for someone like me, even outside of a death game. Besides, she's not like me… she wouldn't fall in love with someone she has no connection with.
Why am I like this? Why now of all times…?
Plus… she's getting so buddy buddy with that asshole policeman… I shouldn't care, but it fills me with… she needs to get away from him.
There Shin laid in bed, rolling from side to side, clinging onto a pillow like a highschool girl.
If only she'd just… save me from all this. I just need three words from her and I'd be able to take this awful mask off.
But she would never give me what I want, would she?
At the very least, the hacker was finally able to fall asleep after a few more minutes of fantasizing about a happier future with her.
Shin's poor little heart would later receive a surprise.