Chapter Text
When Viktor heard that Heimerdinger invited him to his office, he didn’t know what to expect. Entering the professor’s cabinet, he was welcomed by bookshelves filled with all kinds of books, big and small. Some looked like old tomes, while others looked like newer releases, or even magazines. There was a huge window on the back wall of the office, allowing plenty of natural light to enter the office, while the big chandelier that hung near the ceiling looked like it could provide plenty of light when it was dark outside.
In the middle of the room, there were two sofas facing each other with a small table between them. On one of the sofas, he noticed Jayce sitting awkwardly. He chose not to pay him much mind right now, as he came to meet the professor, not his ex-assistant.
“I have heard plenty of good things about you, Viktor. Every story I heard from Jayce made me want to meet you over and over again. I’ve gotta say, I am a huge fan.” Heimerdinger spoke, making the young inventor’s face heat up.
“Please, I am not as great as you are, Professor Heimerdinger. I have just done as much as I’m able to better my community and help the younger generation grow up with less worries,” Viktor spoke, downplaying his achievements. He never really did all this for glory.
“Oh, you mean like those two, what were their names…”
“Ekko and Powder”, Jayce added.
“Yes, Ekko and Powder, thank you, Jayce. The two of them have made a name for themselves up here. Their creativity knows no bounds. Most professors were worried when they first came, but now… They sing praises of them… Well, except the occasional graffiti, but hey… they do draw well.”
Hearing his two assistants/students get praised made Viktor perk up a bit. “Right? They are so smart and talented! I felt that their talents would be wasted down below, so I had to get them up here! They aren’t gonna lose to some prim and proper Piltovans anytime soon!”, he spoke like a proud father, forgetting Jayce was even here as he was so happy to hear someone else praising the two rascals.
“But, I haven't invited you here just for a chat, though I wouldn't mind getting to know more about you, exchanging some ideas, and such. I wanted to offer you a job. As a professor here at the academy.” Heimerdinger said as his voice took a more serious note. Viktor thought about it a bit before smiling sadly.
“I’m sorry, but I'll have to decline. I can't leave Zaun; it's my duty to fix it. Plus…”, he trailed off as he looked towards Jayce, whom he noticed was looking directly at him too, “There is someone in this academy whom I couldn't stand to be close to.”
Jayce looked like he wanted to say something, but held back. “I understand, boy. I don't know what exactly he has done, but I'm sure it was very stupid. After all, this is the same boy who brought dangerous and very volatile magical artifacts into his office, where he hid them from the one magical being he knew and almost died due to his negligence. So, I do ask you to cut him some slack. He's a very bright inventor, as I'm sure you've got to know, but he isn't very… How to say this nicely… Literate when it comes to social cues and his situation”, Heimer spoke, and Viktor wasn't sure if he was praising the other or lecturing him. It was both, though Jayce still sat silent.
The professor's words did make Viktor think a bit. He has learned that Jayce wasn't very subtle, even when he thought he was, nor could he read subtle hints himself. For him to understand something, one had to paint him a clear picture.
“Have you ever met a trans person, professor?”Viktor asked cautiously.
“I have met a few, in my long life… Jayce, however, hasn't before. I’m guessing he said some dumb things, hasn't he?” Heimerdinger’s voice was softer now. Viktor couldn't help but smile sadly at that. “I am sorry it went like that.” Viktor felt like this really killed the mood, but he wasn't sure what to do or say. “I am certain he didn't mean no harm. He was raised here, where people simply live in a bubble, uninterested in how one could feel beside the standardized gender norms.”
He could understand that. Even though some people in Zaun were still ignorant about the existence of trans people, due to their daily lives, they learned not to care and just accept all the weirdness. But knowing why it happened didn't make what happened hurt less. Still, he knew how he felt towards the dumb oaf on the couch; there was a part of him that already forgave him, but his pride and his body dysmorphia were still stronger.
It felt like an eternity of silence had passed before a voice broke it.
“Professor, may I speak to Viktor in private?” Jayce asked. Viktor wanted to scream no, but the part of him that loved this man didn't let him.
“I can leave you two in my office, but Jayce, he's the one you need to ask if he'll listen to you”, Heimerdinger said with a sigh. Viktor took a moment to think before moving to sit on the sofa opposite Jayce.
“I am willing to give you a chance. But only out of respect for the professor. However, I don't mind whether he stays or goes.” Viktor said firmly and crossed his legs as he looked directly at Jayce.
“I'd rather not. Personal problems don't need an audience. I'll be back in half an hour… I hope I won't have to clean your blood off the furniture, Jayce,” the yordle said as he hopped off his chair and headed out of the office.
The room fell to silence, and Viktor kept his eyes on Jayce. The man sat looking down, almost curled up. Nothing like the tall, proud inventor he worked with. Viktor almost felt bad, but the memory of the other calling him a woman…
“I… was dumb. I never met someone like you, in multiple ways. I always believed I was straight, but then I met you, a guy, and one who was super mean to me, but the way you treated Ekko and Powder… The way you were so focused when working, the smile you had when an invention worked… All those things made me want more with you. And… umm, the kisses and… what we shared in that bar…” Jayce was talking, trying to explain his feelings.
“So, I was the first man you fell for?”
“Yes, and then you had a, y'know, and men don't have those, that's what biology taught me, and then nothing made sense… Was I straight? Was I gay? I was confused, and I was confused about what to call you, and I freaked out…”
“And how do you think I felt?” Viktor cut him off with a mix of anger and hurt in his voice, “I opened my heart to you, was ready to be vulnerable with you… And you called me a woman. Something I had fought against since I was 7.” Viktor felt tears roll down his cheek, but he couldn't care less now. “I'm sorry that there isn't a way for me to grow a penis, trust me, I wish there was! I was stupid to think I could ever be loved with this body. A cripple and a mutation.”
“I am sor..”
“I don't need your pity! I'm dumb for having my hopes up. I'll just go back to-”
He couldn't finish his sentence because Jayce captured his lips in a kiss. The familiarity of it, the warmth, the butterflies, Viktor could melt in it, but he managed to pull away. “What are-”
“I still love you. I loved you in the bar, I loved you in the lab, I love all of you.” Jayce spoke as he held both of Viktor’s hands in his, looking like a kicked puppy, “I am dumb, I'll make mistakes, I'll hurt you again, probably, but please… Don't speak badly about yourself. You are amazing, beautiful, and adorable. Every moment I've spent here I've only thought about you… I really love you, Viktor. You're like a missing piece I need, a light in the darkness. Please tell me, is it okay to return to your side?”
Viktor was silent now. He wanted to trust him. To be with him. The stupid puppy dog eyes were certainly not helping his anger right now. “I… don't know Jayce,” he looked away from the other. Everything was confusing. He thought back to Silco and Vander, how he tried bringing them back together. Was this like that? But then he remembered that night. His birthday, the happiness and excitement he felt as they got into bed. The butterflies, when they started kissing, only for it all to crash with one word.
“I need to return to Zaun”, Viktor said as he freed his hands from the other.
“Can I come as-”
“No. I'm not ready to forgive you, Jayce. I don't know if I ever will be.” Viktor spoke as he got up and headed towards the exit. “Please pass my gratitude for the offer to the professor. I shall take my leave now”. And with that, he left the room, leaving the other inventor on the couch.
There was nothing they could talk about right now. Even if Viktor wanted to forgive him, the word would always float between them, reminding Viktor of what he is. What he cannot be. And that one word hurt more than anything.
Viktor thought about whether he should wait for Vi or find a way to contact her, but the girl deserved some time on her own. She and that girl Cait seemed to get along quite well… Viktor wouldn't want to break their date. With that in mind, Viktor headed back on his own. The walk through Piltover felt endless, but soon enough, he was at the lift, traveling down into the neighborhoods he knew well.
“You see how hard it is now, right?” Silco asked as he sat next to Viktor, swirling the whiskey in his cup, “Even with apologies, understanding each other's feelings and views, the feelings of betrayal never really go away.”
“I'm sorry,” Viktor said as he sat on the barstool while lying on the bar itself, “I was just thinking about the future of Zaun… And I mean, I was right, but I don't think I've taken either of your feelings into account.”
“Water under the bridge. One could argue that having Jayce next to you would be good for Zaun, too. You've looked quite energetic ever since you started getting along.” Silco said, lowering his glass on the bar.
“Silco has a point, Viktor. I fear with the kids gone, and Jayce gone, you might lock yourself up in that lab of yours and never come out”, Vander said, joining the conversation.
Viktor looked up at Vander, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks. Why did they know him so well? “I mean, I could look for an assistant, but most people here I've taught somewhat, or we've tried collabing, and it didn't work.”
“Why don't you ask that professor friend of yours if he has someone to recommend?”
“Don't you think he'll recommend Jayce?”
“Jayce is banned from Zaun, per your request. Sending him here is sending him to his death, my boy,” Vander said, refilling Viktor's cup with chocolate milk.
“True… I'll send him a letter, and we'll see what his answer is. Thank you, both of you. For everything.” Viktor spoke, letting the tears roll down. Feelings were rough. He just hoped everything would pass soon.
That same evening, after getting home, Viktor started writing a letter to Professor Heimerdinger.
“Dear Professor Heimerdinger,
I hope this letter finds you well. I know I've denied your offer, but I am in need of your guidance.
As per the recent events, some of which have led to my old assistant, Jayce, being banned from stepping on official Zaun territory, I require a new assistant. As I trust your judgement, I would like you to suggest someone to me and send them down here.
The person will be treated with care and respect to the best of my abilities, I promise you that.
I hope I can hear from you soon.
Your big fan,
Viktor.
P.S. Please do not send Jayce down here. Everyone has been informed to kill him on sight.