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In the moment, nothing matters. You feel warm and protected, so why be ashamed? Why have a care in the world?
And then a few moments later, it will hit you. Like a slap in the face.
“Johnny?” He shook me slightly, and I opened my eyes.
I yawned. I stretched my legs and looked at him.
I didn’t notice at first. I thought Ponyboy and I had just fallen asleep in the same bed, like we’ve done many times before. Usually if he was waking me up, it would be a slight tap and a quiet, “Hey Johnnycake,”
So why did he seem frantic?
“Ponyboy, is something-“ I stopped mid sentence. My arms were wrapped around him. Maybe that’s why he seemed squirmy.
I unwrapped my arms from him and we both sad up.
“we didn’t…did we?” He asked, his voice the smallest I’d ever heard it.
“No! I mean, I don’t think so-“
He was breathing faster. I put my hand on his chest to measure his heartbeat.
It was fast, as I suspected it might be.
“hey, pony, it’s gonna be ok, I promise. We’re both wearing pants, so.” I paused “Besides, I also think that if we were to have sex, both of us would have remembered it.
“Yeah, your probably right.”